A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

An wtan ueapdt. . . To eb ned,edi a,m icsciepf i uaelaxnps eeuqr,. 5 hguhot hnetaor ot uto atth llwe, 4 ro ookt nad mnhost as ynnaonibr regiuf. Mcunueernbed imte rftsi a vaeh fro adn talauc mena eon, adn eht praeuhoi wne a roonuspn edenrg htta gevi wen i ,sfher em gislent w,on.
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Eht aws ummrse. . . Wsa alfl nad oot het ,lgon. Anprest rertnu het dan ot to mcae rof nteh mite wthi and my vile tn,ewri. . . Ntddi' i. Fo a lcasl hsur nda adn on mcea ekwe end e,lrief a to capin stntacno telf eihtr mteh tfianrc ormf m,hte of i ethn tuo. Em dan to pe,ed lefsaur rnmsntaidgunside eexcpt eedp dan. Ciuatogsfnf smthon tnidd' ermbems hwti msoe ynoc,pam yaflmi tuskc lvie udfon to dtniase tierh and s,o i re,het ot utrrne enpds ihtw. Been its' dna veloyl.
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Ehrto mya veha tercsyle hgints edhngca eepdctex sa uoy eavh ,oto. Ni lvoe 'ogsd peke fo uhgot(h orf patr taespnr imd,)n 'mi my srtahed steew paaptierec my wath ntricisah noaemyr niiahtscr a hwihc i od a ont froefts aws uyro si ot. Nto i'm i iwhle smfye,l veer i dna ahve ,ceas ni yman ven(e i dihesf,t dan dreegtans yapp)h hatt edpelvo,ed ltohyhgoru epphria been nya ot athn mofr edsu hvae ahtw eb, nhwe woh nfdi gihnts tsill dna.
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Ufutr,e rfo in fulpeoh eht some yswa i'm. Neplta dna nad alos stipmeisisc eht loehw fo a opeh iansxuo atbuo the as. Desr,soc rt?ihg irsfneg.
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Vo,le kabc and rade my ot nidgens iaoailtnvd uoy, t,aecanccpe.

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