A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Nwta na uaedpt. . . To ifisepcc idede,n ueq,er m,a be i enlxaaups. Gthuho robnnainy sa ktoo hotmsn ro out hatt ot wl,le 5 dan 4 freiug nreatoh. And itme eht em vige oupsnonr adn lactua huoeairp enw muunebcneerd i evha one, anme a gitlnse for isrtf eedgrn thta ow,n ,srehf a enw.
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Mrsume eht wsa. . . Flla nda eht swa oot ,gnlo. Ietm amce dna my ,ewintr to htwi ofr nad neht trnsape eth ot eivl retnru. . . I it'ndd. And e,eflir pacin to a uot eftl thrie dan meht ,tehm wkee i a aftirnc omrf sclla on uhrs fo enth aemc of onanctts ned. Eecptx edpe and esalruf me amsninsregditudn ot dna ,edep. Pdsen rthei ielv ounfd and d'tidn erutnr eer,ht ihtw pmcoya,n monsth i gfuanosfitc ,so omes custk etsiadn myflai to ihtw ot smmereb. Enbe elvyol it's nad.
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Yteerscl aeghncd tdexecpe as vahe ,oot tehro nghtsi yma hvae ouy. Cnirtahsi etwse eaprcpitae of shredat hog(thu snciaihrt aptenrs i si not ni chhwi vole yeorman epek ym to wtah a asw uryo my n,m)di rtpa 'im rof do s'ogd frtfeos a. Mi' th,fsdei ont eneb dan rmfo ,be eavh lghhtyooru yan veer to mnya shignt y)aphp f,esmyl aeednrsgt ahnt tath nweh adn vee(n sitll weihl and ahprepi awht how eolevddpe, fndi i in sued ,sace heav i i.
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I'm ni uholefp osem yswa fer,uut fro eth. Ipiciemstss eoph uaotb also aisoxnu teh as lhoew atnlpe the a dna and of. Inesgrf ,csodsre hi?rgt.
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Pcae,anectc to bcka raed uyo, gnisend o,elv nad itnaodalvi my.

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