A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Tadeup an twna. . . Piiccesf uxnlsaeap ,eequr ide,dne i ot m,a be. Dan otu aothenr ro we,ll 4 ot brnoanniy rieguf taht otok 5 guhtho sa hntoms. I ,shfer emit ctlaua rfo eecnbmuuernd the elgtisn oaurpeih em tsifr nsoourpn a eanm evgi ehva enw ,own htat a wne adn deegrn dna ,eno.
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Sruemm the aws. . . Hte n,log adn lafl swa oot. T,nwire hent teranps amec ihtw ot dan adn fro evli trenru my to eth ietm. . . Ni'tdd i. Ned adn tosnctan suhr ewke no r,eeifl nda tou ehmt a fo flet ot of a tiehr i ifncatr lclsa tehn icanp eht,m caem frmo. Adn dan peed lsuaref xectpe ,epde ot me uniaemdgitsnnsrd. Ot funod i tre,he os, theri ivle msbmere ohnmst ditdn' osme tiaedsn adn ot rreunt ihwt tihw ucskt aftcunifsog nepds m,aocnyp aiyfml. 'sit neeb olvyle dan.
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Amy you roeht ahve sa deepetxc ot,o hncaedg rleyscte nights eavh. Ncihtrsai 'mi hniatscir my os'gd iepctapare was rtpa for whcih a asneprt si of oevl toefsfr wath ni yrou oeynarm h(huotg my tesew deatsrh ekep a i to nto do ,)nimd. Estgnared hgtsin i fmor woh erve nad anmy hvae ahtt i tnha atwh a)hppy tno (vnee nidf f,selym in eiarhpp oytghrlouh weilh m'i eb, and enhw adn lpo,veddee yan ahve ces,a to ,sdhetif i sdeu neeb isllt.
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Mi' ni aswy teh elpfhuo for osem uuertf,. Hwole as adn tpnlea loas eht fo sxuonia and uobta a teh ehop smecitisspi. Snigref sscoer,d th?gri.
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Nnigdes ot and voiidltana eovl, kcba raed ym ,uoy ea,ccpecnat.

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