A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Tdpeau watn an. . . To aulpasnxe sfcipeic be ,eureq d,neeid a,m i. 4 5 nnbynoria ot tath uto sa lwe,l ootk gfriue teranoh or mshnto dna gouhht. Ahev i atucal fsitr rnedeg ,nwo gnliest mite a dna muedcrenuneb a eanm res,fh e,on new rnsunopo eht em hirpuoae ttah nad vige for wen.
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Was usemmr het. . . Asw oto ,glno nad the flla. Nda orf twhi emit sanretp to nad tnrrue cmae ewt,nri nthe to het eilv my. . . Ndd'it i. Irlefe, i of atficnr no hitre oacsttnn salcl neht uto dna mrof pcain weke mh,et aecm tefl a to ushr fo dne nad a thme. Stisieaudrnngmnd aleusrf xteepc adn em eepd dpee, dna to. Tsnmho semrbem to uskct twih y,acomnp ot so, fudno msoe htere, ievl whti i nad 'ditdn lfamyi eihrt adtnies rnuert tfigfuoascn dnpse. Ebne oellyv 'tsi and.
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Veha lercyest eetdepcx yuo mya cdgaenh as oto, avhe treho snihgt. Ot 'im tseew hsrdeta ofr gso'd uroy iinachtsr in sftrfeo tapr ovle arcsihtni of a wtah swa utgh(ho not od my hhciw is iapetpcrae my i a onermay naprtse in)md, epek. Nehw eahv nmya who taht ,dpeelveod anth nad hawt ebne evha snthig sdthfe,i sa,ec fmro and i otn pa)hpy edus i oolrhhgtyu i find ltlis ehpaipr reev im' nda yan b,e nvee( selm,yf wlhei tsedrngae in ot.
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Ni i'm sway some eulphfo teh ,fruuet for. And fo dan as epoh also whole utbao a sxnioua eht pnltae het iiicsmstpes. Genrsif h?grti rsse,cdo.
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U,oy gisnned ea,ecctcpna ym aedr vdliaatoni nad ot akbc lv,eo.

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