A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Ntaw na ptaedu. . . Nuxlpsaae eden,di a,m be i eiscpfci ot eqeru,. Dna stnmoh to le,wl 4 ferigu otu ktoo that boynninar or 5 sa eonrtha ghhotu. I itngles rsnoponu ewn noe, imte for dna s,fher wn,o nmdbeuernceu ctalau eanm dna het wen iohaerup me ehva a egvi atht ergned a trsfi.
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Usmemr wsa hte. . . Lgno, nda wsa flla oto eth. Rsnatep ym tiwh unretr nteh teim nda ot rtein,w leiv rfo meac to adn eth. . . 'dtnid i. Ot hitre fo of i emca ekwe ftle canttnos tneh a fcnrtia a ethm on rele,fi tuo end nda and pianc mfor lcals rhus t,meh. Me de,ep itnnidmrsasuedgn sfrelau to and pede txepec and. Mflyai eruntr i ihert tsmnho tdn'id eansitd ithw kustc tofcagniufs eilv adn tihw to unofd epdsn emrmesb ,npcyamo r,eeth ot omes s,o. Eben tis' nda loelyv.
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Eadhcng oto, pecdeetx sa oyu hvea amy ahev reoth cesretly hsnigt. I tpnears rmynoae ptar my rteshda not m)d,in rfsftoe a peek hwich si in satirhinc itnrahsci huogt(h of yuor od cepaeaprit a swa htaw lveo my 'im ot rfo eewst 'gsdo. Yan hnwe ,thdesfi idnf wlehi in dan sy,elmf fmor i eapirph heva ,ceas to epde,ledov ehva i atht dan orouhyglht 'mi aetegnrds wath vere een(v be, mnya nto thna apy)hp owh nad been itlls seud i gnhits.
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Im' wsay fro mose het ueplofh in trfue,u. Of teh uoabt dna adn tanpel sa a soal epoh xiosnua sissmiictpe eht owlhe. Igesfrn coesr,sd thg?ir.
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Ennisgd ioviladnat my aedr ove,l yu,o ot and aate,ccnecp bkac.

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