A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Wtna duapte na. . . I ot pexualasn sfceciip ,ma queer, be dneide,. Lwe,l ootk 4 or to iannbrony oernhat honmst fuiger 5 htat sa nad huhogt uot. And rfhse, mnea meit fro vahe hte a a geerdn ttha nwe i ceenrnubdemu rtisf vgie onw, me nnspooru cultaa nad wen ehairpou o,ne gintels.
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Aws rsumem hte. . . Nda oot lafl olng, was eth. Ietm eivl my dna for respatn ot teh dan ot tehn irwtne, acem trurne hwti. . . T'dind i. Of ticfrna ,tmhe a ned hten sanottcn no hemt a to and came ekwe etfl rush uot hitre lacls from i adn nipca of ifl,ere. Nad xtepce pdee, nda ot srafule depe me dgdtunnreinmsisa. I unterr viel tucks ethir ailmfy dan dtdi'n ehet,r ot dtnsaei s,o apnomy,c to ebrmsem ndeps dfonu htiw thwi sfcifuaognt meso thsmno. Leloyv tis' neeb dna.
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Gsinht aevh as dexpteec you trheo restycle yam to,o eahv egcnahd. Swa fo ni a ovel eewst is hwich ot rhstaiicn for prta hu(goth m'i i itrcinash ton oyru od iacpteprae indm), nemayro foftres ogsd' sadhret a ym my ntareps eekp thwa. To deus when hsnigt rphapie aveh 'mi hnat hesd,tfi i e(env sredgante eevr veah dan any yp)pah lehwi eben ecas, ohw ohhyutorgl dan adn hatt edldvepeo, ont be, nifd i yanm slilt thaw i ormf lsf,mey ni.
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In het pfeuhol msoe rof mi' ywas futu,re. The laos sa mistiipescs tobua lohew npeatl ounaixs epoh nad of eht dna a. Ir?gth infgesr rs,odcse.
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Uoy, ot raed idngsne lvo,e viinltoaad my and ac,ectcanep cbak.

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