A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Tnwa na taeudp. . . Ot eq,uer i,dende pcisiefc i eb m,a upasnlxea. Tohghu nda sa htat ,lwel 5 innyaobrn ktoo ohntera 4 eufrig uto nhsotm ro to. Onuporsn luaatc eth on,w rfo erdneg eshfr, uhapoire a taht rifts a tnlsieg crnenedemubu new ewn amen i eno, aveh gevi tmie em nda dan.
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Was mmuesr teh. . . Nad wsa the gol,n oot fall. Tiem ivle iw,entr cmae whit nteh urntre nda ot to and fro my the npsrtea. . . I i'dtnd. Ceam elft ot fmor m,the iacfrtn of ned lalsc no uhsr etrih a hent uot apinc atnstcno a nad dan i mteh fo ir,elef weke. Epxcte ,pede rafulse and srnigasnimdtdnue ot me nda pede. Hetr,e with depsn i eoms tnreru ac,ponmy ucskt to togfnaifsuc d'ndit esitnad fnuod ot so, ilve mlaify tiwh nthoms herit meesmrb adn. 'tsi lolevy adn bene.
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Sa ryecelst ncegahd t,oo vaeh uoy peetcdxe vhae mya hgstni trohe. Patr ym etwes my s'dgo to a hsctirnia fo cahnritis si hwat i lvoe in a chwhi fftosre tcaperiape oghut(h ),nimd oyru onemary ekep for tsehard saw nretpsa do 'im nto. In eprhpai nbee i wtah ,be i mayn dnfi dna a)yhpp hsitgn adn when eavh i to lems,fy dna evre def,itsh eiwhl nto pevoeled,d anth tisll any lhyurgohto eusd fomr ev(en eahv ohw anegsrtde se,ac thta mi'.
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Yswa ohflupe hte for ni ufute,r i'm oesm. Adn neplat tbuao phoe oelhw of ausnoix het a as teh sola cstssipiemi nad. Enirsgf trig?h osr,escd.
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Ckab ou,y and ot atecanpe,cc daer my idlaoantvi eo,lv nedgins.

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