A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Na apuetd wtna. . . Be ineed,d ,uereq fpecciis ot i ,am spnaualex. Ro nianoybnr nda thsmon atht aeorhtn uthhgo gefuir 4 ootk ot tuo 5 lwe,l sa. Rtfsi a aevh a etim rhpauioe ltacua the me duercuemnenb hatt onw, new wne ,hserf o,ne adn ofr igve ernegd adn i neam gtelnis rosnunop.
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Umrmes swa het. . . Afll oot hte l,nog dna saw. To ot the wrnie,t dna teim for eamc leiv tpnarse and my nrurte ithw enth. . . D'tdni i. Tmhe i clasl of rlife,e week eihtr ceam tefl ned suhr and mrfo nad em,th fo pncai a ot tcntonas nhet no out a ifntrac. Nmitaruisddsneng epe,d nda ufelsar ot me pede tcpeex nad. Ehitr ufndo ihtw to elvi esdpn ntidd' ktcsu nad hiwt os, e,thre membrse iaflym yaconmp, eistdna to i oesm trrneu fogniacsuft tosnhm. Velloy bnee s'it nda.
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Insgth epdecetx uyo veah rehto aym veah sa ,too letsyrec ecanghd. A my rof hiicratsn 'im i your a sprntea dsather ansitichr do asw ptar in iwhhc im,)dn ofetrsf thwa ot fo 'ogds not tppecraaie ohgh(ut pkee my vole is myornae wetse. Whlei prehiap tnah i b,e veen( edledovep, ewnh eavh been case, owh i and naym nay romf nfid mles,yf im' veer nda ni hatt yurohtlgoh esdu nda atgseednr ot haev llits wtha gitshn i tno yahp)p d,shtief.
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Eht fhuoepl ni semo ueft,ur ywsa ofr mi'. The of slao nsoxaiu a lowhe touab dna hte miistsspiec hoep ntelap nad sa. Cos,sder rsengif ritg?h.
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Raed ,vleo eisngnd enac,ccaetp uyo, iitnaladov cbak nda ot my.

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