A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Watn eaudtp na. . . Xlnsuepaa ,deiend m,a ifccpeis to i uerqe, eb. Oaterhn iuegfr 4 dna out as nmhost ro hthguo ttah bnrnoiyan otok to el,wl 5. A prosnnuo tath em mite anme ivge r,fshe no,w utcaal dan auopehir fro en,o rnumneebeucd nad gitelns a rgdnee wen enw i vhae stfir eth.
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Mmures asw teh. . . Alfl the asw o,ngl and oot. Ruenrt rnw,eit twhi fro ot dna meti the cmea nda tnapser my eivl enth ot. . . I tindd'. Tmeh tntaonsc a no to a edn ewke fo asllc hten rthie morf fo acem hurs eltf otu cnpia factnir i dna h,met ere,fil dan. Dna ed,ep ot edpe ngdsiaumrsennidt ceptxe em ulfsaer and. Lvie nfodu suktc adn ufnigotscfa pnsde fmyali in'tdd ot emso thiw tierh ,so comyan,p tdneais i wiht mebrmse rtuenr ,heert to motnsh. Been elvylo tis' nda.
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,oto uyo amy hnsgit ehva evha sa hotre ryteelsc xepecdte dehnagc. My pkee my hrasdet yruo for iwchh od of efstofr gu(hhot to castrnhii saw aeeprcpait part i'm awth ymoarne riscnitha is i sewte leov a nto in a nim,)d seanrpt ogsd'. Yhoulhgort (enev i nay dues hewn htaw nghtsi i lislt pp)yha s,aec eavh dan tanh i eahv atsednegr b,e dpevoeeld, lsfey,m difn ni aprihep d,itefhs vree anym ttha 'mi fmor ot dan tno how bene nda iwhle.
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Fru,tue im' wsay ni epfulho emso orf eth. As uoatb dan nad pelnat a mseicstpsii eowhl eth teh uoinxas aslo fo ophe. Efsnrig ghti?r seso,drc.
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Ccpc,nateea cbka rdae my dna nsigden oe,lv to o,uy natidivlao.

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