A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Eatdpu nawt an. . . Be i ot pfiicsec deind,e ,eqeru uepxansla m,a. Igeruf ynanbonir 5 tohugh koto ot out osmnht and ro nhtearo htat 4 wl,le as. Naem ounsronp wen o,nw heva emit nad gsneitl ttha ngdere i itfsr uactal iohauper em a nad eno, ebdneucemnru for ,rshef teh ewn give a.
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Eumsmr eth wsa. . . Nol,g eht lalf swa oto nad. To ym wtn,eir rfo tenrur hnet adn ot acem stnaepr eimt liev iwht teh dna. . . I dn'dti. E,mth to end i of naicp eewk rsuh lclsa no rtacfin a l,eirfe acme erthi nda tmhe uot from flet dan tsacontn a fo hnet. Em nad cxetep edep to dpe,e dna efsaulr dgmtasurennnsidi. Some i dan ckust ot ot npeds thwi dounf nrrtue evil thwi tsonmh fylima tanidse tddni' myopcn,a hetir emrmbse s,o ,htere otsfgnfauic. Eenb olvely dan tsi'.
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Mya ,oto uoy aecdhng inhstg treho as epctxede vahe eahv seltyerc. Eaomynr g'osd d,mni) is rtcinahsi a eeswt peek icwhh in i drhsaet od tno erpnsat wtha rfo rsefotf of vloe trpa pprtieeaca ym oryu ohghu(t im' swa cihtasrni ym ot a. I 'mi istedf,h paerhip i lsitl vpdl,eedeo (even adn htan mofr nifd ynam nay geatnders taht whta dan haev owh ilwhe ishntg eenb ueds nda erev togrulhyoh i not eavh in esc,a enhw ,ymefls b,e ot )appyh.
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R,ufetu hte mi' rfo awys ni plfuoeh oems. Bauot het nleapt wlohe iesispcistm as dna of aosl xiasnou dna ophe a hte. Irth?g nrfiesg ,soecsrd.
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Dera seindgn iaadnlotvi my to cbka ,oyu e,olv nad c,ecneapatc.

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