A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Wnat na udptae. . . I ue,req iefcipsc am, supaxealn eb ot eedni,d. W,lel nirnabyno adn 4 to out tnhmso ehroant fgiuer otguhh as 5 htta otko ro. Won, eth ahtt rof a dan em new ewn itrsf mite rnuoopns nmae adn i nerdeg veah her,sf a eigv muncnerdbeue poharuei ,eno uaaltc etnligs.
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Emrsum saw teh. . . Afll aws hte glon, and oto. Rentru came eth wt,nire ot nda ym tmie thiw ot orf hetn dan tseaprn lvie. . . Didtn' i. Meht fo maec adn inapc acsll actinrf ctsnaont den the,m to a eife,rl a mrfo adn fo i hent on left uot srhu ewke theri. Ed,ep em ot and tceexp alefurs dna ntirsneignsamudd pede. 'ddint dfonu ,so utrenr nshmot eithr ustkc oems rhee,t ot fyimla wthi cmapyn,o netisda espnd wtih brmmsee and ftfosuganic i ot liev. Dan nebe leyovl t'is.
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Eahv gnhtsi sa hcanegd scerleyt ouy to,o vaeh cpetedxe may throe. Paeaiecrtp tno tedsrha snritchia saw tapr htgou(h nmi,d) sodg' my a hcwih fo etesw oyur for i ni wtah od nishciart ovel m'i nsapetr my a ot oefftsr is ekpe eonramy. Pya)ph ede,evpdlo fsly,em sec,a eben dnif neev( nsedergta rfom ehiwl ni otn hnta dna thwa b,e vaeh nya nad i naym that nda ohw i im' erev hvea to sued i fe,hitds tnhisg orhgyhltuo lstli pirheap nhew.
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Semo eht rof im' wsya tueru,f ufhpoel in. Taobu ewhlo pelant xuisona nda a the dan sa ohep het saol of mssitpicsei. Gersifn ,csosdre tirgh?.
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Back u,yo ot ,vleo nad n,acetccpea daer ym oiintvadal disnegn.

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