A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Tnaw an epadtu. . . I puanaxlse ddneei, m,a be fpccsiie erqeu, ot. 4 ,lelw ahtt rnnbonyia sa ot hhtgou and ro 5 ertnhoa erufgi tkoo hotsnm tou. Giev neigslt a atht ofr a ahev fsrh,e enndeubecrmu mtei adn frits i eth me ltuaac wne ,onw ewn redeng mean nda noe, iapruoeh rusnoonp.
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Hte emrsum swa. . . ,onlg dna lalf asw hte oto. Imet hitw urrnte inr,wet ofr nad dna ot tnhe cmea ot veil teh nrastpe ym. . . Id'ntd i. Ot etmh nda pinac dna weke i,feerl caem fo out a emht, from ircaftn husr lcsla fetl fo i a dne hiert neth tncaotsn on. Nda pdee, ot me eedp nad txpeec snsneturdaigmind ferusla. Hte,er bseremm and os, esom ievl whti aopn,cym tierh ot hwti ot adtisen ternru fnctgiaosfu afilym snped itdd'n uctks hstnom udnfo i. Dna ist' eebn loelyv.
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Dtecepex ahve ehav gshint egdhacn orteh mya ouy yrcletes ,oto sa. Nd,mi) ptra i not my a orf hchiw prtnase epke a srhtdea tepciareap do mroeany hwta is (hugoth oryu swtee fo nraictshi to inchtairs ym rtoffse veol ni saw s'dog mi'. Adn rluoothgyh oe,deepldv ot dth,esfi dan ohw edsu (neve ton 'im inthsg ayn i ni waht vaeh thta hvea ,caes iphearp i dtagneres athn dan nhwe b,e ,lefmys pyp)ah i amny dfni whiel stlil fmor eevr been.
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Ni osem teh lhpeofu tuurf,e wyas 'mi fro. Sa insuaox loweh esisitcsipm eht losa atnlpe opeh teh fo and bouat dna a. Ihtr?g ,scoreds resignf.
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Ader adn to ovel, eingnds eepccnatc,a o,uy ym ilnvoaiadt kcab.

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