A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Na nwta udetpa. . . I be a,m to ccpefsii ine,edd luaanxpse reqe,u. Uhtohg otu nhstmo 5 sa thnaeor ell,w 4 ot rgfiue ro nda htat ayrnnobin took. Anme nwo, i evgi e,rhfs ifrst ahtt wne and eth a nudmeerbnceu egsntil opsuornn em rof gneedr adn new ehopiura ,eon itme a aaltuc ahve.
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Het swa uemmrs. . . Alfl ong,l oot aws dna hte. My nrerut rof neth eht ihtw and adn meit caem ot iewrn,t aetpnsr ivel to. . . Dtndi' i. I a fo iancp came tasctonn alscl aifntcr shru den emht ekwe a hnte tou te,mh mofr fo no and eftl rthei dna ot efiler,. Adn em pede to and enmsadisuinrtdng tpecxe feuarsl ,pede. Omstnh htrei yalimf teidasn ucskt nfoud iwth ot rrnetu adn ,os ilve 'tdnid ,nypcoam moes twih mmbrese i ereht, ot csgutofnifa edpns. S'it eebn dna vlyoel.
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Yuo yma ,oto sa thero veah evah gcaenhd inhstg ertyecls txcedepe. Ashetdr enprtas mi' ym mid)n, a rtaceiapep otn iransthic inctahris my ormeyna iwhch od to was teswe fro eepk htwa fo i si (utohhg rffeost oelv gos'd ruyo arpt in a. App)yh neeb ot nad have dan in ,be rmof pehiapr anmy i tgihns and fndi who lsilt hatn desu eenv( tno d,veodepel hnew hliwe eflmys, htta dteernsag i saec, grutooylhh i estih,df aveh mi' htaw vere nya.
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Ru,uetf aysw hte ni emso for 'im uephlof. Fo alos hte hpeo dna sscpiimseti a dna olwhe hte sa oabtu anlpte xnuoais. Hitgr? gnerifs rds,sceo.
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Sgenndi drae o,yu to etpceaaccn, bcka dan ym olve, aliviondta.

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