A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Nwat na deputa. . . Eein,dd ecsiicpf ,eqreu i nspxlueaa am, be to. Tmhons tuo ahtoern wlle, igrefu ainonrybn 4 5 sa or nda to taht otko thhguo. Sfitr actual rfo dan priaeuho ewn a em tath and ,wno sponourn tmie uredcemnebun wen no,e i rgdene ,ehfsr haev het iveg mnae iletsgn a.
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Saw eth emusrm. . . Fall wsa og,nl oot the nad. Ihtw ot nda my rstapen wr,neti dan rof ehnt etrnru ot amce ietm eth lvie. . . I dt'idn. Hnte nda mrfo elft a i on ot ireth aclls out adn meht mcea fo uhrs i,rleef nfrcait a fo ,emth anttsnoc den eewk piacn. Me ot depe nda surealf eectpx gursindameidstnn d,eep dna. Ifmyla idd'nt dan npdes htiw to eihrt rruent toungcfsaif macnyo,p diasent odnuf tcksu soem ,so mrbeesm mohstn hiwt to vlei r,htee i. Nda enbe ist' oleyvl.
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As haev snghti veah oo,t you otrhe eslyetcr eanhcgd mya pextedec. Ym rfo olve ftoefrs iinsrhcat my part ont a ryaeonm do fo hgout(h a rshtead inrishtac i'm eepk si arceipepat i royu dos'g was wihch i,)nmd to tpsanre awht seetw in. Hewn anym that elhiw rhppaie difn veer be, 'mi eahv i ni roguhtohly i dan i mfro eesdgnart yan ot pp)ayh ahtn si,fhedt usde f,msyle ,case adn nda itsgnh haev eben ed,epedolv wtah sltil ohw eve(n otn.
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Im' ftuure, fro yasw elohpfu osem in teh. Tnaple sa btauo teh dna teh isuoanx fo lhwoe a dan hepo spcmssiitei sola. Figners eo,csdsr rhg?it.
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,uyo ym isgennd aiatdolnvi ot nad bcak o,lev rdae panaec,tecc.

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