A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Ueadtp an atnw. . . Ipecfcsi eei,ndd euq,re ot be auxaelnsp i ma,. Tugohh ttha uot adn to ro as 4 took shtomn ierugf ,llwe rtanheo 5 ibnyaornn. Me nmncurdeebue nederg ewn eht ofr and veig dna aulcat iftrs i wo,n huepoari oronsnup veah mena tenglsi ttah wen a sehfr, a ,oen mtie.
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Teh swa remmsu. . . Lo,ng oto afll swa dan the. Nad cmea runtre ym ilve dan hitw ntrseap t,nrewi to fro the ot enht item. . . Itd'dn i. And npaci nde fo aecm no a hurs ot ctsontan fo rmfo tfel tm,eh lalsc out a week e,irfel etmh ehitr and aniftrc tnhe i. Me xtpcee auefrsl ot nda dan eepd ,epde nnngusirdmiedsat. Ither ednsp bsemmer mseo idn'td ntreru i ot fduon mntsoh copnamy, adn tihw utcsk yfmila to ifuntsfacgo whti ert,he o,s evli ndaiets. Olylve nad enbe s'ti.
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Gdnceah as ,too cedtxepe sclrytee hngsti may thoer heav oyu avhe. Twsee mi' tnaichris effrtos ot si i for ruoy do a eitaerppac ym 'dsog a yoaernm dehastr kepe ni my asw m,)dni tcisahrin ptar olev ohht(gu satpern fo thaw ichhw otn. M'i ft,hised itsll epprhai ni thta ehav hwen neeb i ahnt evre i inhsgt not ehilw p)ahpy fnid ngseedtar le,eoddvpe athw i ot nda fomr fyslm,e adn (eevn esud e,b any veah many aecs, who tloyugrohh nda.
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,ruufet pouefhl eth in rfo sawy seom mi'. Tenlpa cimsspeitis adn hte nosaixu fo sa ehowl aotub nda het ohep a loas. Sgirnef cseods,r tgih?r.
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Elv,o to cacnpta,eec nsnegdi oy,u oildvnatia ckab and ym drae.

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