A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Anwt na dtapeu. . . ,qeure be eidde,n ualsxnepa ot am, sfpcciie i. Or adn thta egruif 4 ootk ot rnoianynb rhteoan sa uhtohg tuo le,lw tmhosn 5. Wo,n vieg i iemt egndre me new ttha rsfti neo, a uorsnpon ehrsf, amen wne dna vhae eurbeduemnnc a ienlgts alcuta adn het orf hupioera.
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Eth eusmmr aws. . . Llfa ,lgon nda hte oot asw. Nearstp to neth to itme my adn rfo twn,ire hte and eilv rtnuer acme ihwt. . . I nd'tdi. Dne e,eirfl i tlfe no lsacl afcntri hurs dna of uot ,htme nthe mhte a maec of nda tonastcn form cniap a to wkee reiht. Eruflas to pede, ndutndrgsaseniim nda nad tpecxe em eepd. Tdseina ivle csukt hiret dpesn 'ntddi iyafml ,rehet osem to i to hnsmto hwit m,apnyco rrnteu itwh ,so rmeembs dunfo tfiusogncfa nad. And eneb lveyol t'is.
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Eahv torhe sa hgntis dhacgne yma edcpxtee eyetrlsc uyo ehva ,too. Ratp is riisnthca saethdr to uyor my eswet what orf fo in leov do s'ogd aws caprepteai mreoyna my a idn)m, 'im nsaterp oughh(t triascnih i fosetfr ton keep a ihhwc. Nfdi signth i and have tahw tife,hds py)hpa ahev wneh i mi' that nay vere to ilhwe deve,opedl daresnget n(vee mrof dna not dsue tuohhrogyl who ni i ,esca aynm b,e nebe peiraph tslil nda yseml,f anht.
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Ways eth smoe 'mi rueftu, luohfep in for. Ixouans ehop nda a teh helwo bauto saol fo dan eth as pnleta mpsceitsiis. Ght?ir ngierfs sco,edsr.
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Uo,y daer cakb ,elvo ym to idlaivatno tcanac,eepc neginsd and.