A letter from May 6th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, High school has been fun. I've grown from being a complete ******* to someone who actually keeps another's emotions in mind when talking to them. But yeah man, where to begin. I've just been admitted to college and by the time you're (or I'm) reading this you will have graduated college. In my mind, the end of high school is maybe the end of my life... but maybe that's the end of college. Either way, I hope it hasn't felt that way and I hope college has been much much more than you thought it would be. Because right now, I'm scared. I don't know if I want to go to college. I don't wanna leave everything behind to live in Massachusetts and I don't wanna lose my freedom. **** the negativity, I'm sure that if I'm reading this, all will be fine. Let's talk about high school. An archive maybe so none of this is ever forgotten by me because I don't want to lose all of this :). Let's start with freshman year. Remember the orientation of our new school? I brought my ****** $200 laptop that barely worked surrounded by expensive macs and crazy 4k screened PCs. I was scared and nervous but at least I had some friends. I remember they gave us a 2020 shirt and we were forced to talk to people. I only remember talking to Liz at this time. The first few days and months were excruciating but bearable. Waiting out soccer practice and staying in this alien place for hours after school ended on my laptop doing work in the playground. And who can forget my Latin teacher, the dude who made a lot of freshman year so much better? I felt comfortable in that room and was in there for as long as I could. Once I had found a place in the school a few months later, it was so much better. The car rides homes are always going to be unforgettable, and if I do somehow forget them, I can just check my Snapchat memories from early 2017. At this point in my life, I didn't know how to talk to people. I had this really stupid notion that lightly mocking people would be a nice gesture because it meant that I was comfortable enough with someone to mock them. Obviously, this was really ******* stupid and made it so that a lot of people didn't **** with me. I would rectify this eventually, but it was something that I didn't even realize. I had the best intentions and wanted people to mock me back, but didn't realize why they didn't. Now it's sophomore year and I've found a place in school. No lounge, but friends and that's all I needed. The car rides were again some of the most fun parts and we weren't freshmen anymore! I started trying drugs this year and had fun with a lot of buddies. I'll never forget when I was given an edible and they kicked in during chem. English II H, Algebra 2, Modern World History, and Latin II. Those ******* classes man, I won't forget ever forget them. English II H JIGS with Ricky G. MWH with all of the homies and Nolan as the teacher. Latin with the OG class for the last time and learning indirect statements while Austin blew into a pencil. I miss it. Junior year might've been my favorite year. We had ******* AP Lang, my favorite class of all time I think. It was so eye-opening and I loved learning about the United States and the darkest parts of our history. It was, for me, the reason why I became a progressive (and hopefully still am in 2025 and holy **** it's the year of Black Ops II! Nuts. I hope Joe Biden won even though I wanted Sanders :( Still, I believe Tara Reade but despise Trump). Latin III wasn't as fun but it was my last year with my boy John and the Res Gestae was great too. APUSH was fantastic! Sat next to a girl I really really liked and hopefully by 2025 have asked out. I'm working on it I promise, it's hard with quarantine though. Quick tangent about that girl. She's so fun to talk to, so cute when I mock her, and so nice when I'm down. I think I love her, I don't know. It just feels really nice to think about her. Is it weird that I sometimes watch memories of her on Snapchat and smile? Who knows. I don't know if I can tell her how I feel without being completely rejected. I don't even know how to describe the way I feel about her. I won't mention her name but I'll know it, for sure. Anyway, remember the ******* lounge in Junior year? The first year we got it. Holy **** the memories. Somewhere to go in the first trimester when my friends were playing soccer. Dillon and Yash were always there and I got close with them. They were my buds. Izzy got his car and man oh man, what a time. The car rides got even better. We got a little more mature and started doing things and I really want to go back. Oh and remember when I would visit Nolan's class during my free periods. Good times. And finally, this year: senior year. Now I can drive and so can one of my best friends who's also my nephew. Driving with him and Ra are moments that will remain unforgettable as well. The freedom man. AP Lit with Fulco and the rest of the people. My first Kafka text. It was my new AP Lang and the personalities in that room were amazing. AP Gov. My man Dexter came back to teach this and it was so fantastic. I got through the work to learn about my government with my closest friends and favorite teachers (B Dex and Nolan). AP Psych was just fun. We had to take notes but the class was fun and filled with some amazing people. I always laughed and loved to make other people laugh. Latin IV was much better than III but also harder. Virgil and Caesar were both pretty fun, the former was a little better though. **** AP Calc, but it was a struggle for everyone. We got through it together and that's the best part. And now let's talk about that together. The class of 2020. This year were loved each and every person in our grade. We were all friends and made each others' lives better. I wanted to come to school to talk in the lounge with Will and Ricardo. Maybe play some Smash or watch some Holiday movies before Christmas break. We consoled whenever we went through tough times, and if someone needed any of us, we were always there. I love everyone in my grade and would seriously ******* die for any one of them. Each of those people have so much potential, more than me I think (seriously). I've gotten to know them and they are so full of life and amazing. But even after all of that, we were robbed of our graduation. No matter, we bond through the few remaining Zoom meetings we have and the memories we will never lose. If we have a proper summer break this year, you'd best believe we're all coming together and partying. We're getting high. We're getting drunk and we're gonna have so much ******* fun. I'll never forget this quarantine either. A time where each and every day feels the same and video games, my guitar, and our AP Lit meetings keep me afloat. I hope life is good for you and I hope you had a proper closure to senior year at some point. With love for my friends and family, HK P.S I wrote this in about 30 minutes I think and sure there are a lot of mistakes, but in classic HK fashion, I'm sending!