A letter from April 12th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, It is your 24th birthday! "One time for the birthday *****, two times for the birthday *****, three times for the birthday *****, **** it up because it's your birthday *****!!!" I wrote this on Easter Sunday and the following Monday, Jesus has risen. I woke up at noon today and that is not ok. Ahaha... I hope that your 24 year old self has adapted to waking up early because wasting my entire day is not it. Even though sleeping is a beautiful thing. Currently, I am an 18 year old college freshman in college living during a pandemic. I do consider staying at home and watching Netflix or Hulu as fun. We're not supposed to go out because of social distancing and that bothers a lot of people. However, as you know, we love staying in so it doesn't affect us that much. What bothers me the most are these online classes. I do love the help I get from my friends and the resources I use, but I am not learning ****. I try, I do, but at this point it's about the grades not the learning. I learn more from my friends and YouTube than my Professors. I will get a 4.0 this semester. I will try my best because last semester was trash. I also miss my college dorm. This spring semester was supposed to be a lot of fun! I was going to go to Hershey Park with some friends, I was going to attend Tigerfest, I was going to see Roddy Rich at the Tigerfest concert, I was going to go to a lot of darty's, and other fun college events. How disappointing. My first year of college wasn't that bad, it was annoying. I wanted to experience it all. First semester was ok, I learned a lot about myself. I am telling you this; stop chasing boys. They are not worth it. You never had a boyfriend and maybe it's because you are too picky or you just know what you want. Well, whatever it is, it's okay. Your time will **** come. Don't change for anyone. Be true to yourself. I let myself become too obsessed with my crushes, telling myself that, "Yes! This is the one, they just don't know it yet." That is false. Those crushes will go away eventually. They always do. The one will come in a matter of time and you will feel it. God's timing will come. Friends come and go and that is okay. I really only have one true friend that I trust the most and you know who that is. Kind of like how Meredith said to Christina, she is my person even though I might not be hers. One day you will find your other person who you will trust and adore. I have other friends, as well as my besties and you know who they are. Hopefully, you are still friends with them. I will tell you this; don't be afraid to let people go, the people who truly care about you will stay. Something I need to understand now. You love your family. You really do. They annoy you but they love you. During this pandemic, we appreciate ourselves even more. Hopefully that changes in the future where we appreciate ourselves anywhere at any time. You love your 21 year old sister, B. You continue to support her and you keep pushing through the nasty arguments and cruel actions, because she's your sister. She was your best friend. I hope she is one of your best friends in the future. I hope that she got through her most painful stages of life and that she is much better because you know she is caring. Her anger will reduce in time I bet. Your 14 year old sister is your bff I hope. She is your twin, your 'mini me', your everything. Continue to teach her right from wrong and answer all of her questions since she is a teenager and will be going through tough patches but also new, wonderful, discoveries. Don't avoid her. Be there for her. Your 12 year old brother, the youngest, is your annoying munchkin. Be there for him too. He has 3 older sisters to look up to but continue to laugh with him, play with him, and watch architectural shows with him. Haha. He is 11, and you told him that when he is older he can watch The Avengers; Infinity War. He's old enough, I hope he has already watched that along with Black Panther. Don't forget to ride as many as roller coasters with him in the future as he really wants to but right now he's only 6. Continue to love mami and papi and please for the love of God, show more affection towards them. I am trying right now but I don't know why I'm not that gooey wooeey with them. Just hug them and give them smooches please! Continue to be grateful for them as they are your everything. Give them everything. I am still on this pre-med path that I have chosen but I have been thinking about becoming a PA. I will do more research but I am leaning towards it. It just seems like the best fit for me but as you know how indecisive I am... I don't know. I still have time but you have already made your decision. Wherever you are now, Med school, PA school, or neither, I just hope you found your way to where you belong. (Please tell me it's medicine though, haha. Because you do love it) I hope that you find your passion and that medicine is apart of it. Or just basically helping others. I love to dance, so I hope that you are dancing every now and then. It's your escape. As well as making Tik Toks but let's not go there. Please tell me you drive and you cook because well eeesh. Also, pleaseeee tell me you have attended a Harry Styles or Billie Eilish concert...you need to. I love you. Self-love is the best love. Don't forget that. -A