A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Aexlr 20,21 ouy nca.
Ot omved ayer i ,lleeogc taernsp teh rstated nmear,yo uro 'ondt ni veil yualtcla anbtui̇ls sueebac rimi̇z we. .
Hrese' ouy got hgnti, ıdılyz in ot teh o,oso tkknei. Tbu ot gtshin ldowu otn ahpnpe saw ti iamieng eth uoy ni vene. . . . Yro'ue uaeggslan eethr gnyituds ni. Nda nhrecf ht?wa onwk uoy uyo raedlen.
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Moor hte in ubt dlo'cutn mrdo rmpo e'uryo shti gigon your oury no oyu triwe to smlie to fomr go whti ceaf sad a ncreaf.
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Oyer'u anmse nkith nay fo yuo ni wiht sa feqrunet sa veaob ont tcnacto eth. Htme stlo you oen neev fo. Hitgr :) atht gsedseu.
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Go teh ni bsc nidwdge rwee nctol'du ,mrriead ouy otg eyran ot uyo aefrnc.
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A is has ot seh allċi ecapl uni olces ,fnei. Thta uyo uoy eb ebts ogt idfren nculod't ugsse utb iont oyu fo nui chae rsehto wodtu'l same thme moes day het het hte twih wot erhet fo.
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Si odgo kögnçe. Shoeu ni hse dnteer a ğmlau. Kuttu she sidtues twhi erhet. Uoy id'ndt tey syrro, mih mtee but. Btu loces esmo yad.
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Ni iabar mriiż sudetis. Ottncca ese ziṙim hre utb n'dutcol ni 'oeyru to gto uyo anagi avele uoy efrta.
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Uoy lyaltacu one see dya uesda ilwl. Etb ngibe i caft idmn shit ilwl a lwbo oruy. Htsee oknw i ees 'ddint gminoc oyu.
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Ihtmg nsbuilṫa yuo it ewre wkno codl hwne dsia abuto tnaglki be nda ouy i. Su nad edal but ivbelee lfieaciyspcl tath dsai yan rehe uoy i ndtdit' ,mnea claep. Durne na ihtw weehrat to einzergf rzeo nnortreh teh ncreaf. And in eb bueesac facner locd iecrn ?wft??? ni humc so to 'sit.
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Ppehna sreggsltu. Htye ni stla ppednaeh seary eth 5. Mnay thwi dah elfdrit tbu anym ynam eepplo ouy rhda, too enksobawdr owderk. Pieatsr trieeh ot fo olts you deric tbu wnet nad uoy lost. Os thwi ntarohe moevd of tebs oleepp fo uto nouctld' asd nirfsed aemd tgo lsao ot yrnutoc neo yuo uyro oyu tub yuo osetseimm, bde. Ownk her 'ontd nad wokn enev yuo hwat you ety ?gaian. Neve ni ont ni ith?rg sith sa,drem ryuo si.
Oyu tauob uoy hwtro aonterh it usirtot ot coytrun tnod' dotn' eevn nwko ihtkn sa aecebus a ggoin i. .
The wtorh uoy ti tngih si,. T,kinh oyu emor ahtn eevn yworr levo ylsufroe luoy'l 'tndo. .
Vdiebeel uoy yuo issadonpit r-8ldoysefla-e- liek oyur in'ttdd. .
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You ,lpblicuy ahted it i yver segus tirde yuo siuh,s. Aefrt ddcm'osanl teh uoy teh to psoh rena htta wtne ushsi ebasecu. .
Nca no sono i ll'i i nows as tarfe eagnl amke soem tpu fro you, a sa ihctk aerl scolhet. Eth ti >(: rehe it ndt'o em laos itsll lseml rhogtbu cna i tonlvliyaur i slel ehyt iecsn eocg,lon eerh beuaecs hwit.
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Ogod and 91 ya,llst aws. New mdae rfsedni 19 uyo 8 at. Teyh eno ehpled uyo ddi no ilek eesl too. Si 32 ey'our ceols wo,n 22. Opvmier lislt uabto and tyr e'ryou y'ruoe sulescel wne erfi,sdn kgainm ltlsi uefrylos to efil. Apbiluesl vrey stom 'luyol le,ft hte u'veyo ees but hcmu ever htnig s'that.