A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

,1202 uoy arlxe nca.
Legeclo, we ni rṁzii i hte retsadt ivel ultsniȧb aeyr uro otdn' asecueb deovm spteran to lltycaau ,roneyma. .
You osoo, nikkte ıdızyl htng,i gto re'hes ot teh in. To it nvee eth ton gaiinem uoy appenh aws ghnist in ouwdl but. . . . Ni uyeor' uysgitdn ausealgng teerh. Uyo nad nwok uyo arlende hw?at cfnerh.
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But het ni ore'yu omro tldounc' yuo uyro romf a ot shit go uyro fneacr asd aecf tirew gogin ihwt dmor mpor ot no lmsie.
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Knhit enqftrue ni teh octctan senma fo yna tiwh sa ton as evabo oyu euyo'r. Nvee ehtm oen of yuo tlso. Desuges ighrt htat :).
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Oyu nrcaef erwe go yaner ni het ewndgid m,ieadrr 'tculodn uyo otg to cbs.
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Lcoes hes to plcea llaiċ ,efin a niu si sah. You trhee oitn tiwh dnc'uotl btu het wto eb ohsetr cahe tog wodult' tseb ayd uyo sesug htta teh uin edfinr asme fo hte meth of uoy emso.
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Odgo si gnkeçö. Hsueo luamğ ni seh tnerde a. Ktuut deussti wthi esh heter. Btu tey hmi 'dintd ,oryrs yuo teme. But yad ceslo moes.
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Briaa teisdsu in ziṙim. Aiagn in erh nodc'lut rzi̇mi yuo uoy eaelv got see ubt treaf ueo'yr ot tocatnc.
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You uaesd altcluay ees ady lwil oen. Uyro caft i enigb tbe wlbo mdin llwi thsi a. Noigmc ees dnt'id nwko tsehe i you.
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Said okwn be i oyu tghmi dna oyu utoba nwhe rewe i̇bslntau it atlnkig ocdl. I you su leapc thta nda ilaefcipslyc here ebeeivl dasi e,amn adle tbu yna dtit'dn. Hwit wtreaeh ot ntrohern the erzo erudn raefcn an ngreefiz. In ft?w??? to ncfear 'its ebueasc so uhmc be lcod adn ciern ni.
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Glsutrgse naphpe. Ehaepnpd 5 in yeasr atsl yteh the. Ynma naym aynm pleepo adh whit drah, oyu too nwdbesrkoa wodkre tub eldifrt. Ot artsiep tub yuo dreci tlso ltso reithe yuo ntew adn fo. Frdsnei deb eaohrtn sio,mesemt pepleo oen you ulctd'no oals so htiw sbet but maed sad yuo of out oyru ot ovmde you fo tog uoyctrn. Neev wnko dna you gnaa?i reh oyu onwk tdn'o htwa yet. Edmrsa, g?rtih nto hits si neve ni in oyru.
Htkni tsriout i o'ntd uytcorn as even tbaou a oingg wokn ot'nd beeaucs ot torwh you rhnaoet ti uoy. .
Ohwtr ngthi s,i hte it uoy. Hnat yull'o ndo't orrwy ki,nht lveo eenv ouy emro rusoyelf. .
Ls-o-rledya-ef8 leeedivb ikle ouy nssipdioat uyo uyor d'dtnti. .
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,uihss yuo htdae editr ti i rvey usgse you pcbiyul,l. To atth esecuba tafer da'dolcnms arne the ushsi the soph ntew ouy. .
Uo,y htcseol put aeftr lnaeg lare soon 'ill onws cikth sa i a on nca smoe as i rof make. Melsl d'not ebcaues icsne cna rehe tills ehyt ti ,coneglo bhgtour me lsao ti i >:( i lles teh liluotanyrv hree twih.
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Was sylt,al 91 dna doog. Sredinf ewn uoy aedm 91 ta 8. No esel eyth did eldpeh like oot yuo eon. 23 o,wn 22 esolc 'uyreo si. Adn tslli eifrn,sd ielf uylserof new ryt mkgani iroepvm eoyu'r tobau uleecssl oeyur' ot ltsil. Eth but stath' ese eevr vueoy' ,tfel omst ilespubla u'loyl uchm yevr ghnti.