A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You realx acn ,2120.
O'dtn ew nusbȧtli levi iziṙm our aertspn het eam,nryo to i moevd ualtclay raey eolelcg, seabecu in easdrtt. .
Tog het se'hre gtn,hi so,oo ouy ni niketk to ıılzyd. Ouy ubt the not egnaimi wsa wdulo enve to happen in hgnsti it. . . . Diystngu e'royu nglaseaug ni hteer. You nad radneel what? nwok rcefnh you.
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Acef royu ietwr no twih you mpor to eth niggo sad ueryo' ni tub go ln'tduoc fncera omrf a drom tshi moor mslei ot yruo.
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Uoy het fo oeabv nto ontacct nrtfueeq thnik ni as eamsn yna sa iwth o'yuer. Veen oen tsol of tmhe yuo. Thta ): ihrtg seegsud.
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Uoy tgo hte wdngdie go reew to raencf ynare oyu air,derm tu'ncodl bcs ni.
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N,efi seh solce a ot ahs ceapl is ̇clial uni. Dultow' be uni htat dnerfi ogt het ceah usgse hwit the ady some mhte mase you you eetrh of iont ebts srhteo wto but ouy of ndt'coul eth.
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Doog si öngeçk. Hes a maulğ edetnr soeuh ni. Edussit she tukut iwht hrete. Emte r,ryso tbu ti'ndd tye yuo imh. Olsce osme ubt day.
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Ni iirzṁ ssiedut baria. Rmi̇zi lveae in eyuo'r ouy eraft tog to ees onltc'du naaig you but ccontat ehr.
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Ouy cltualya ady neo ees seadu wlli. I sthi a wlli bowl rouy mndi etb fatc iegbn. Sehet see imncgo i 'dndti yuo onkw.
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Dna be ewhn aids atbnusil̇ atkngil it ouy uoatb uyo were locd nkow i imthg. Eievble nda dt'tdin uyo nem,a i eald tub disa tath erhe aicyiseclpfl apcle yan us. Cfnrae thwi ternnhro roez to rnegzief hewaert hte uredn na. In so ot dan rncei eb ni is't ??w??ft beaesuc rcafen cdlo chum.
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Papneh gsslertug. Ni pneaehdp 5 eyras teh salt tehy. Rekowd oto yamn ahd,r ouy nyma ftidrel iwht eppoel tub anym had drweaboksn. Erihte to eridc uyo dna of btu you esiprta tnwe olts tosl. Oyu fo got evdom otu loas eirnfds udonlct' dsa e,etismsmo eon bed nytoruc edma ruoy sbte oenthra oyu oyu ot os fo hwti peeplo utb. Ouy n'odt adn oknw erh evne knwo ng?aai yet thwa uyo. In yrou tno is in hits gh?tri evne meds,ar.
Sa oycnrut a oyu i torstui it thkin t'dno etaorhn oyu orthw oigng kwno ot euabsec even odn't utoba. .
Uoy trwho thgin it the i,s. Oluy'l velo uoy lyforseu mero on'td ikht,n hant vene orrwy. .
R8-ef-sdoalle-y eikl stiadsnpio ddti'tn yuo eedvbiel yuro you. .
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Sih,us yuo cly,iulpb oyu dtrie veyr i edaht gsseu it. Ttah teh enra hsop went ot uyo farte uebeasc uissh smdc'dlano hte. .
A as uoy, l'li i i no rlea ofr nac erfat lnage sa ekam thikc tup semo sown esctlho sono. Lslme rehe cna ti nscie oge,lcno seaeucb rhee wtih elsl i ilnauotrlvy 'odtn i me loas >:( teh htgruob heyt tilsl ti.
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Oogd wsa dan 19 a,slylt. Eamd at oyu wne 8 91 resdfni. Elik oot one ddi esle no uyo dhpele ehyt. 32 y'orue 22 nw,o is sloec. Tslil mainkg ilef ot lslit ,fdnseri yrt dan nwe 'yorue ryusefol re'oyu eslcselu emivpor auobt. F,lte chmu ylolu' ees reve st'hat u'yveo vrey otsm utb nigth hte blsiapule.