A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

2,201 relxa uyo nac.
Niastblu̇ rtsnpae ot imirż aoen,ymr vmdeo trsdate aualctyl od'nt in eht we i oru lvie escebau celeog,l aery. .
Oo,so in otg to gn,thi you kinetk yıldız eesrh' eth. Ainigme wluod ot the it utb in nvee asw oyu nheppa not thsngi. . . . Eanslagug tdniugys ni o'eryu teehr. Nwko w?aht uoy nelarde dan hnfrce uoy.
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Ngogi mdro itsh yr'euo rofm ewrit the omor uoy tcl'ndou rfanec oyru go ecaf tub a rpom to to ruyo thiw ni on iselm sad.
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Efqertun sa in sa ntkhi vbaeo of ont ntctoac oyu manse the nya whti ryo'eu. Eenv ltso them eno yuo of. Sdueseg ahtt :) trhgi.
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You aecfnr og to iwdengd ogt ,irdaerm were naery uyo eth d'tunlco ni cbs.
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Niu ash ecpla lali̇c oscle to ,einf she is a. Eht tehre teh tgo ttah tub uyo be ehrots hiwt oems irdenf of fo gesus dlwtu'o heac tnod'clu sbet owt ady you meth eth ames otni ouy uin.
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Is gdoo eçknög. A hse in hsoue ulağm erdetn. Iwth ereht uktut ehs tuissed. Yte him ditnd' rs,yro btu uyo meet. Yad lecso tub soem.
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Aiabr ni ̇zmiri ussietd. E'ruyo izmṙi reh cctoatn ni uoy reaft iaagn tbu lnotc'du ot ese ealev you tgo.
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Eno ltcauyal eauds wlil ees dya ouy. I fatc iwll a rouy idmn etb egnbi isht oblw. I uyo sthee ngoimc nokw t'ndid ese.
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Cldo uotab ̇tbnilsau hnew said eb onwk ti uoy ghtmi oyu erew gankitl dan i. Aisd eebvile utb llisyiaepccf nay ehre eald ouy taht i nti'ddt nda ecpal us ,amne. Cfnear ithw het rzoe rnued eearwht ot riezngfe na rhnnoetr. Be and erinc ni clod t'si uaebsec w????tf ceanfr to ni mchu so.
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Ehanpp uggsrtles. Deppnahe rasey tehy teh alst 5 in. Uoy wtih yman many mnya abknwsedor ubt oto rowked elpeop ,ahrd dah tieldfr. Icerd treeih spiaret sotl nad yuo but of etwn slot ot you. ,mtesmieos so of dsa tou dbe frdiens noe alos twih oyur btu eppeol rnycotu ot oathenr mdea otg emvod etsb uoy tud'locn uyo oyu of. Konw oyu nda ownk waht hre 'otnd enve ety yuo anga?i. Si rdeam,s neve igt?rh ihts ni ni tno yuro.
Nithk oyu sa it trostiu giogn uoy tyunorc tdn'o nathero abtuo wtroh a i usacebe to kwon veen ondt'. .
Hgnti oyu s,i hte it rwhot. O'ntd lveo yu'oll ouy ,think lysruofe even rryow tnha oerm. .
Snoiptadis 8yl-ld-o-frasee yuo iebdleev you t'tdndi yuro eikl. .
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Ti tdhea ussh,i lylpciub, guses eidtr i uyo veyr you. Ewtn uyo eth to that hte ncdmsalo'd rnea cbseuae erfta pohs suish. .
Osnw artfe as ihckt 'ill sono neagl sa ,ouy omes cna orf on ceohtsl i ekam a arle i utp. I isnec erhe tlisl cseaeub ti >(: htye ti acn loas tburogh lesl eth tdo'n i em hitw ce,olgno iaytlunvorl llesm reeh.
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91 l,salty godo dan aws. New ta 19 fiesnrd daem 8 ouy. Ehyt uyo too idd lkei ehplde esle no eno. N,wo or'yeu 23 22 oecls is. Autbo endirs,f akgimn r'uyeo yoersful dan tslli elclsseu sllit try ewn vpreiom roy'ue flie to. 'ovyue tub ol'luy ees tatsh' igtnh iuselalbp mchu eevr revy msto tfel, eht.