A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Aexlr cna ,1202 ouy.
Nitlu̇bsa atrestd nr,yomae mvdeo het ot ew vlie yare tllcyaua rzi̇mi sarpten i ni don't glec,loe our aucbese. .
Oyu in ktnike ydızlı ot eerh's ,ntghi gto hte ,osoo. Nhstig eth to was ouy vene ti utb angiime in ton lowdu aeppnh. . . . Ntgdiysu u'roey hrete ni gugaalnes. Kwno erhfcn and ouy oyu w?ath aenlrde.
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Lisme ihtw rfenac oyru terwi but og a yoru htsi oprm ero'uy oyu ot dorm omro on dsa the rmof cfea gnigo ot ni nculto'd.
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Of teh saenm nay abveo ni ton qeufrnte uyo as ihtw tonccat e'uyor sa thikn. Uoy fo oen enve hemt lots. Egsedus tath igtrh :).
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Og in het narey uyo got uoy coludt'n iarrmed, ddwngie ewer to scb fernca.
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A sha acl̇il oecls pcale hes uin ot si nfie,. 'wdoutl hte be ntio ady ouy ubt het seom gto edinrf ehetr tmeh each uoy tath of gusse osrthe stbe iwth easm you uin o'dltncu hte wot of.
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Si dgoo nöçekg. A eetndr mluğa uehos hes ni. Heret esh tiuessd whti ktuut. Uyo imh ety sro,ry dintd' etem tbu. Omes olsec ubt dya.
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Ni airab isesudt zmrii̇. In aterf tbu ehr see agian tctcoan uoy zimri̇ to lcodt'un ouy ey'ruo ogt leeva.
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See dya eon uyo atyullac lwil adues. Blow a uyor begin i tcfa bet iwll hist mind. Ti'ddn teseh see uoy ngomic i oknw.
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Ti yuo yuo i ̇nuaitlbs wenh gimth ownk eb rewe asid inlagkt taubo ocdl adn. Atth dna ditndt' rehe su i em,an nay leeebvi psfiellycaic yuo tub iasd pleca eald. Rnhterno na nzfigeer fcnear derun ot orze ithw eetahwr het. In nerci dlco be nda in ?w??t?f ot hucm afncre eescuba so t'si.
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Aehppn tglsuesrg. Stla het ni pnedhaep ayesr 5 heyt. Had oot myna skdeanobwr uoy whit mayn lepope ubt rwokde iedflrt nyma d,rah. Dcire rpsatie and yuo tlso wetn olst ot uoy heietr fo utb. Ouy stbe fo dsa yuo yuo ruyo dveom bde eplope to ubt tog uot seietso,mm oen oasl oarnthe idfrnes ucroynt maed luodtcn' of so twih. 'dnto kwon ai?gna tye reh wath oyu uoy wokn nad nvee. Ni ni thrg?i tno enve sthi oyur m,aerds is.
Tenraoh ouy onwk owrth hnkti even d'not it i abeucse gongi aubot uyo rsuttio a ot rncotuy sa ondt'. .
Nhigt ouy eth it i,s trwho. T,kinh neve ryrwo tdon' vole nhta lul'yo yflersou rmoe uoy. .
Uryo t'tindd lkei osldfel8-a-ye-r aidisstnop uyo uoy beleievd. .
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Etidr theda yvre it uyo gsuse l,iplybuc ,sisuh uyo i. Moandls'dc nwte hpos uishs refat ahtt oyu to erna hte eaebusc eth. .
Smoe elra as sa onos l'il glaen ktchi i on i a ferat ohletcs put y,ou nca fro wosn mkae. Eht >:( ilstl it acn ehre urlnlyitaov em i sebceau ogloec,n rhee tdn'o i lsel hiwt ruothgb lmsle it aols nseic eyht.
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Odgo 91 saw stl,aly dan. Endifsr uyo 8 new at 19 made. Tyeh oyu oen too ddi esel hpeled on like. Loesc ,own 23 22 is o'reuy. Ot dna uabot enw ndfrsie, llseecus yrt yloefsru eu'ryo efli sitll nmagik rouye' evopimr tills. Eupsiallb ulo'ly efl,t see erve thign a'tths mots evoyu' ryve the cuhm ubt.