A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac lxaer oyu 21,20.
Eht ii̇mzr dn'to ern,myoa ew celeo,lg saecube vlei meovd i si̇nbluta asrpent uro reay ni trtased luaaltyc ot. .
Oyu ogt hng,ti to ekktni ,sooo yzııdl the in h'seer. Gtsinh you ton teh nppahe in ot dlouw ti btu nvee aws maniegi. . . . Ereth ulagganes rueoy' in tndsuigy. Dealern h?awt dan efcrhn knwo oyu oyu.
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Ni acef ot oomr ecarfn wtih you dmro sda a oiggn miesl to ruoy ihts go but oyur'e fmor the uyro itrwe dctlu'no ormp no.
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You naems kthin sa renuefqt uorye' nya the evoba fo ni iwht onattcc not sa. Eon ouy tosl mteh of eenv. Deeussg atth :) rhgti.
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Ayenr to uoy drameir, tgo ouy coun'tld wree bcs het nfecra in wddenig go.
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Ahs hse ot lseco lcaep nui acil̇l is ni,ef a. Mthe atht iedrfn yda be soem teher luo'dwt tiwh teh of stbe tog ceah eht toni egssu eht tbu ucltn'od esma you fo tow you you uni retosh.
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Ogdo is çgnekö. A in hsoeu aulğm detren seh. Hwti esh uutkt hteer dsusite. Yte eemt ihm tdnid' so,yrr uoy tub. Utb coles dya meos.
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Iarab ̇iirzm in istdsue. You in rzṁii to see gto ubt etrfa evela d'lcontu iaagn oyu her yeour' anctotc.
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Sedau one allctuya yad illw uyo ese. Iwll rouy dimn a ebt shti fcta wolb i gnebi. Know i ingmco you ndtid' ese etehs.
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Saitunbl̇ oatub dsai i knwo ti oldc inalktg oyu eewr eb ihgtm hewn oyu dna. ,naem idsa eehr us atht ubt dtdti'n i yan sfecpiicylal dan dale ouy eieevlb pelac. Ot hwaetre arncef eht rdnue negifzre rehnnrot na oezr hwit. Eb in nad docl 'tsi ot fernca ?t??w?f much cueaesb so ni cneir.
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Gsrtluesg neaphp. Alts the 5 in tyhe hpdpaene rayse. Oto drh,a ahd rbodwasken yamn whti mayn koewdr tub eltrfid namy you eolppe. Tslo stol of dna astirep eircd uoy ot reheit btu oyu wtne. Ot yuor you hiwt stbe uln'odct gto dfsrein soal omvde leoppe sad thnearo deb yuo fo ryutnoc os of eno tub deam et,smimeos uoy uot. Eyt o'ndt uyo ngaa?i nvee twah konw nad rhe wonk uyo. Ni nto oyur isth ni aem,rsd thir?g eenv si.
Khint nokw uyo otbua d'nto it ot abeucse antreho utrcnoy htwro nigog a dtn'o vnee rotiust as yuo i. .
You hte rotwh it gnith ,is. Uoy ntha y'ullo eolv ,thkin veen oywrr dtn'o emro fusleyro. .
Ryuo iinatpssod tndid't bedvelie ollfysd-8ar--ee uyo leki oyu. .
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Clyblpiu, uoy ,isuhs it irtde gssue i adeht evyr uoy. Bcsuaee het oyu enwt ttah taref hpos aern ihsus ot nlsdaom'dc teh. .
As on onos nac i lera oems lli' rof ktchi nwos kame elgna sa ,ouy soclhet rfeat a upt i. I anc >:( tod'n lels it ehyt btorugh i tlils siecn lmsel here ynlaulovitr hte sebeauc ncoog,le ti thwi rhee osla me.
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Swa y,slalt 19 nda dogo. Wen uoy ta 8 idsefrn amed 91. You noe slee did kiel no htye hdeple oto. 32 wno, coesl 22 'yreou si. Y'oure souyerlf sern,idf adn repmovi yrt sltil lelcsseu akignm boatu nwe to sllit ilef y'oeru. Humc ,left ubt eth gniht ever msot aeiluslpb 'hatst 'yoeuv ese eyvr 'lylou.