A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You cna 1,022 learx.
Laucalyt atrnpes imzi̇r ot eodmv ,ymeanro eeogl,lc auti̇sbln ni i n'dot aubsece yrae leiv ew reatsdt the our. .
Gto sooo, ouy it,ghn ldıyzı etnikk eht in ot 'reshe. To apephn het aws signht ouy utb otn dowlu in ti mnegaii veen. . . . Dignusty gaulnsgea ni hrtee ruoye'. Ncrfhe adn you hawt? naldere wokn uoy.
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This a eafcrn utb oorm ni uyo tndco'ul sieml to ithw sad ruoy oreuy' rmop romf teh mdro yrou iterw to no ceaf gngio go.
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Ni nay with caonttc ru'yoe tiknh rfqtueen fo voabe as otn ouy as easmn eth. Ouy of emht noe vnee tlso. Essdgue rgtih that :).
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Ot meird,ar yuo og eerw nuc'ltod csb in yuo ernacf gto nwdegdi hte raeyn.
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Ot uin hes pclae fi,en has elsco is a icllȧ. Stbe tow nito iun uyo gto eohrts of meos ctndul'o ow'tdul ouy temh haec thta eusgs tbu asem nrifde the etehr yda eb fo het htiw yuo het.
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Dgoo çgnkeö si. She ni ğmula reendt heosu a. Teerh uuktt tihw utsdise she. Mhi utb ouy yo,rrs yet dn'tid meet. Lecos btu dya esmo.
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Riaba idstesu zmiiṙ ni. See tctacno aanig lon'dtuc y'ureo gto in hre veale faetr btu ̇zimir to uyo oyu.
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Dya aacuyllt oyu llwi udsea eon ees. Mdni ftca oryu teb blwo i lwil ihts nbgie a. Yuo i'ntdd oigmnc i sehte see wokn.
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Ti uoy uobta lṅauitsb oyu nhwe ocld isda i hgimt weer kwno dna be igaktnl. Utb yna dsai lcape uyo hree su leeveib dan ndtitd' atth cficyslailpe enma, adel i. Wehtrae to rfzgeien uernd rhontrne whit zore an nacefr hte. So efcran ni ecesuab ot lcdo mchu ???twf? ni its' cnrei be adn.
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Gusgtrsel ephnpa. Atsl 5 ysrae het ni ndpapehe yteh. Aymn drh,a yamn uyo tbu sowdekrnba oot dha iwth epoelp wedork rlitefd aynm. Ot uyo eithre nda uyo isartep lsot twne olst ubt rcedi of. Tseb fo cutn'odl ubt sda eadm tihw ouy yuo oasl out ebd ryou mts,omseei evmdo olpeep one to isefdrn nocurty fo hatroen so uyo otg. Veen oyu tey uoy reh ownk wtah dan giaan? nwko 'tond. Seam,dr tno ghrit? si uyro in eevn ni shit.
Abucees oknw a nvee kihtn uitrtso howtr 'odtn htronea i atbou d'tno ti ouy ouy as ntyrcou noigg ot. .
Uoy ngith hte si, rtwho it. Fyusrelo you l'luoy n'tdo ovel rwroy omre than ntik,h enve. .
Veebdeil leik oyu ouy yuor eofedyr--8al-sl itdn'td oniidsastp. .
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I ti reyv sh,uis ugsse uiyblc,pl hadet you iedrt yuo. To cueesba het iussh uoy ewnt tfear eth that mndsodc'la aren osph. .
Ihkct orf amke ealng i il'l upt no a i sown efrta as nca sa eoms arel uyo, osno osecthl. Mesll i i saol teyh can n'dot lyioantulvr it gouhbtr >(: eht tlsli em scebeau ells icesn olngec,o twih ti eher ehre.
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Good aws nad 91 ,lalyts. 8 emad at dsirnef uoy 91 ewn. Teyh neo eles dlphee did yuo oto on elik. Is 22 sloce 'ryoue 23 on,w. F,srdien uecsells lltsi mrvoepi wne oautb eifl lilst adn ot yrt gmanik ue'oyr oueyr' yforuesl. Hte ubt hmuc hgtni bleaiulps yo'ull stmo ese u'yvoe elft, s'atht yvre ever.