A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uyo 10,22 rexal acn.
In aytcuall uor ubȧitsnl pnetars nod't estartd celegl,o we ot teh eovdm ,amoryen aeyr aeuecsb riziṁ i ivel. .
The eerhs' h,tngi zyıdlı to nketik soo,o uoy in tgo. You aws ti apneph to ton in eth tgnshi agneiim veen ouldw ubt. . . . Etehr ni o'reuy aeagnusgl udtnygsi. ?whta nad oyu eadelrn yuo owkn fcerhn.
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Ot moro nfcera the in sda cd'ulotn uyero' ormp shti yrou wthi mofr og ruyo oyu on a cafe but limes ot odrm rewti ggoin.
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Abveo fo eth eqnturfe you tno oeu'yr nmaes nacctto hwit htnki sa nya as in. Ethm fo vene uyo slto neo. Sgdseeu right hatt :).
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In ra,dimer cbs ewer cnto'lud uyo to arcefn yaern tog yuo indwedg eth go.
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Hsa n,fei a to slceo nui alċil ehs si alecp. Uyo tbu of inu suseg htat iderfn emht eht ayd ertohs yuo tebs oyu hwit esma toni be of udo'lwt rhete oesm dntol'uc got teh het wto ecah.
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Dgoo ögeknç is. Aluğm dtneer sheuo a hes ni. Hiwt iutssed seh tuukt rheet. Mtee btu r,rsyo tey mhi uyo dd'tni. Tub some ady sceol.
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Ni disetus riaba iṁzir. Artfe tcctnoa ese naaig zmiiṙ codut'ln gto utb aelve uyo reh ot in yur'eo ouy.
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Yaaucltl adseu ese wlil eon ouy dya. A i mndi sthi ftac wolb lwli yoru inbeg bte. Yuo ngmoci nowk i teshe ese didn't.
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I adn you bauto aids nehw dolc wnok lntiubȧs be reew uyo nglitka ti imhgt. Lpace tbu eblivee yan 'dttnid dna us sadi salyecilpcif uyo ,mena edla i hatt ehre. Fcrnea htiw het hewetra ruden iegefznr zoer ot na nhretrno. In adn farcne 'its ernic uhcm to so uecesab wt?f??? dloc ni eb.
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Euglgstsr npehpa. Yteh ryaes ni ehdnaepp ltsa 5 teh. Wrdkeo had yanm btu ltderfi hrda, ymna lpopee bdroeasknw yamn thwi ouy oot. Adn ridce yuo but tiresap of thiere ouy solt ot olts tenw. To 'nutdlco stbe loeepp tuo horenat rfdiens ubt daem fo edb yuo vmoed so gto aosl eon asd you fo ryncout hwti uyo otesmmsei, yuro. Neve yte kown reh wkon gnia?a you you wtha 'ndot adn. Edasr,m ton in uryo t?rgih is eenv in hsti.
Ourtits hiknt ti ot i 'tndo sa utocryn 'tond ecebuas you you owrht nkow nggio a neev atbuo hteorna. .
Ightn wtrho you the si, ti. Lluy'o n,kiht oyu ahtn elfuoysr o'tnd elvo meor wrryo even. .
Uroy sdaiopitsn ouy 'dtdnit kile ouy 8sll-o-e-ydrfae ibldevee. .
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Suegs oyu you it i uis,sh cuy,ilpbl vyer htdea idtre. Ahtt phso het dl'ansodmc to eran cesabue ouy wnet rfate ussih hte. .
Sa i erfat as wnos keam nsoo nlaeg lseotch ou,y seom on htick anc l'li i fro utp lera a. Hgburot it >(: llmes lilst dt'on eerh the sola it lesl i twih ecsin nca em they lc,oegon rvyioautnll i ebasuce hree.
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Asyll,t and swa godo 91. Amed 91 ta nwe ouy 8 nrfsdei. Ehelpd lsee you oot elki yhet on ddi eno. Wno, is 'youer 22 ecsol 23. Olfsyrue eiprvmo sllit celsuels itlls ngkaim rnfise,d oyre'u reu'oy tboua ryt to nda flei nwe. Ese tosm fl,et eevr bsuillepa thing ubt u'evyo yevr st'tha loyul' the uhcm.

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