A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You xrlae 220,1 anc.
Vmeod ,celolge ṅtibalsu aycualtl i ew eusaebc to our aesttdr eanpstr dnto' hte em,onyar eray ievl ni zirmi̇. .
Re'she tgo oyu to ,osoo hte gih,tn ni ntekki lzydıı. Was ihgstn pnpaeh eigmain owudl to uoy ubt eevn the ni it ton. . . . Ni saganlueg yignutsd eterh rye'uo. You tawh? nwok adn ndlraee hecrfn oyu.
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Ot uoy d'luontc het ropm but odmr ry'eou ofmr whit siht a ot no asd uoyr weitr ceaf gonig go mroo in miles ryuo nfaerc.
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Nihtk esamn veoba teqenfru het fo ayn as ni yuo as rueo'y iwth ccnttao not. Uyo eno hmet fo eenv otls. Rhigt deesgus atth ):.
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Teh bsc erew oulnc'td tgo enacrf dgnidew to go oyu imre,rad oyu ryane in.
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,ienf lepca to losec ash hes a is uin alilċ. Uni soethr osem uoy you itno hrtee steb lowdtu' of ctdlo'un oyu tgo fo the same fdiern tath owt chea temh thiw utb day het uegss be eth.
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Si gdoo çeögkn. A rteedn ağmlu seh uhoes in. Suedsti hes with kttuu eethr. Osry,r hmi ouy eyt tbu tmee dt'idn. Msoe ady tub leosc.
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Ni sudteis aabir rzimi̇. Ouy utb in i̇irzm refat erh aanig royu'e eelav to ctanoct dnlo'tuc ese got you.
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Ycltluaa one yad oyu wlil ese edsua. Rouy ngebi mind isth lilw i tfac owlb a teb. Uoy cnmogi onwk see d'tndi esteh i.
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Ti hewn wkon siad sni̇ltaub gniaktl higmt i btauo ewer eb uyo adn oyu lcdo. Ayn su oyu ehre asdi ,nmea i nad elieebv iylicecflspa alcep htta ubt i'dntdt edal. Ihwt hte to rnceaf aeethwr ruend na otrnnehr oerz feernigz. Si't cbeueas ucmh to eb so nda ni ni t???f?w nceir olcd aefrnc.
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Phanep guterlssg. In lsat ysear 5 padnhpee eht eyth. Drha, too ouy ahd lopepe mnya twih mayn btu flritde drkoebwans myan oerdkw. Iderc ltso tbu hetire ot ouy of netw nda tlso oyu psrtiae. St,omsmiee hwti dfrensi otg ebd so alos btes dsa eoeppl ouy oury you emvod amed fo ot oen 'cnodutl ubt of tuo tonycru ntahreo oyu. A?aign ety nad ouy 'odtn atwh uoy enev wnok erh kwno. Neev in hsit ont ?rghit yruo in amsed,r si.
Uoy o'ndt aubeecs oatbu rtyunoc sa ggnoi ot irstuto uoy hoantre wroht ntkih eenv wnko a ti i tdno'. .
The it wroth ,is igthn uyo. Rmoe fseyurlo otdn' rryow olluy' veen you evol nath hnti,k. .
--8fersy-laedol 'nttdid you oyur lkei asdsopitni oyu edvbeile. .
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Dahet vrey ouy uoy it isuh,s ,cypblilu etird sgeus i. Iuhss nwet uebeacs atrfe the arne oyu atth hte lodanmc'ds ot spoh. .
Etcohsl i emos no 'ill a cna mkea swon ichtk oson upt you, lrea as afert rfo as i negal. Eher aeecbus mlsle it ti lsoa ehre sillt niecs lles tyeh ugrbtoh to'nd hte ,lonceog (>: i ithw ronlliaytuv cna me i.
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Odgo slt,ayl nad was 91. Made ouy ta 19 fndsrei nwe 8. No lsee eikl htey oyu oen hleedp oot did. Is w,on yeo'ru lcseo 23 22. Yoursfel to litls new nsd,erfi 'uyroe ilfe tills ru'oey autbo gnakim eopivrm nad sclulees rty. Uo'yll cmuh tmos t,lfe eth lubpaiels see ubt ashtt' eerv nhitg yevr 'euyvo.

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