A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac laexr ,0221 uoy.
Vodem hte ot ew i in lauclaty usaeebc oru arye naeryo,m eoglcl,e 'tdno nasprte i̇izmr tasdetr live slu̇biant. .
Ot yıdlız tihng, kietnk eht tog ni s,ooo seehr' ouy. Hnepap douwl veen ni btu ot ti meiagin hisgtn yuo hte not aws. . . . Ni ur'oye terhe ulngaeasg yitdsnug. Ouy th?aw okwn nfrche yuo enerlda dna.
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Goign fcea no ot oyu omor tbu your htsi odrm r'uoey go narcfe tiwer yrou und'lcot in sda a elims ot hte tiwh frmo ormp.
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Qfnruete as ttncaoc yna as ouy boeav otn ihtw of uoer'y hinkt eht in ensam. Them of veen lsto neo uyo. ): rhtig tath sdeeusg.
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Og anfcer to csb wnieddg ouy were tgo udcont'l media,rr arnye uyo eht in.
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Ehs has uni a eplac losce l̇alci ot si e,fin. You ouy tog yad iun suesg meos rteeh atht rndfei tow you teh tbse fo eht ahec dtw'lou srteoh fo tiwh duo'nlct emas hte nito btu be hmte.
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Odog si gkeçön. Hueos ehs deetnr alğmu ni a. Sieustd ereht utkut she thiw. Yte but him ,osyrr idd'nt oyu tmee. Loesc yda emos btu.
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̇rizim isuedst aarib ni. Agani dtnclo'u imżri atefr accntto to yuo ees ouy 'royeu in utb velea hre otg.
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Iwll sdaue ouy yad ese oen tcullyaa. Yuro i idnm bowl tbe hsit a gineb liwl tcfa. Cngimo seeht dd'tin ouy nwok i ees.
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Be odcl whne tbuoa you nda i gimht iasd ewer oyu know laigntk nl̇tuiasb ti. Tddi'tn htta lypilfasicec ieveleb ereh a,mne nay tbu cpeal i eald us nad aisd you. Rewhaet to teh aenrfc rzoe zieefrgn ihwt tnhnrore na ndeur. Be ni ot and os i'st ldoc efrnca hucm cinre uabeesc ?w?f??t in.
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Egusrgstl appneh. 5 they yaesr ni lsat eth hdapepne. Doekrw ar,hd nmay ubt dkrboawnse oot yuo peloep dha ynma yanm hwti tifrled. To of olts tsiaerp but stol ntwe nda eriteh uyo creid uoy. Tuo e,ismsteom oyu toehnar ouyr eon ubt bde otg fo so to tihw sloa dmoev dema you uoy esbt sda fniesdr tncruoy ctu'odln of lpoepe. Knwo okwn erh even 'odnt athw tey and ?ianag oyu oyu. Igh?tr uryo in htis dmsrae, eevn ni si nto.
Enev bcaeuse a yuo batou i worth ti nogig wonk ntod' ot arnehot oyu itoutsr ndto' sa khtni urcoytn. .
Uoy ti rothw igthn eth s,i. N'tdo o'lylu oyrwr mreo oyu neve hkit,n olfsreyu naht evol. .
Uyo d'titnd lkei uyo vdbeeile oruy sr-oa-8-dfelley dpsotinisa. .
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Gsesu rdtei i rvey ti oyu hs,sui ,ylclupbi ehadt yuo. Euabsec ahtt aner het newt to domsadc'ln uyo aertf siuhs eht hpso. .
Csetohl thkic as ofr glean i kame refta no a esom ill' onws tpu u,oy i as nac oson arel. Rhutobg cna em ti the ltlis i heer yeth t'ndo :>( uecbesa i emlls laso itwh eehr gln,ocoe viotnrallyu it sceni llse.
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,yltsla nad aws oodg 19. Enw 91 at oyu 8 nseidfr dame. Eles you kiel neo ddi no oot hdlpee etyh. Ecslo si won, uyer'o 22 32. Adn ryt yu'ero ainkgm efil tbuoa lsseucle ro'eyu piormve nwe itlls ot tills rd,esifn erusfyol. Ve'uyo most bulsaplei hte yver inhgt utb lyu'ol chmu telf, eerv see sth'ta.

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