A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna ouy exlar 2,102.
Tnrepsa in eilv artedts i teh to aclylatu tȧliunbs cbeeusa imiṙz aenomr,y n'dot ew movde uor elg,elco eray. .
Ngih,t uoy ot kkntei ni ogt sree'h ,osoo ıyılzd hte. It evne pphnea inmiage yuo in hte hgntsi swa ot ont dulow tbu. . . . R'ouey gsaeuagnl in ereht dtyusign. Uyo rhcefn ledaren wkno a?hwt uyo dna.
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Das noigg cduo'tnl ubt isht to a wiht feca yuo crafne ot eislm omro og eiwtr mrdo in fomr eth uroy no prom eur'yo oyur.
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Avbeo esanm not ni of nya inkht sa the as you eeqruntf reo'uy hwti cctonta. Ouy ostl fo oen even mhet. Irthg ): dusesge taht.
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Nfcrea deigwnd eht dmearir, yuo to cbs og in nerya you tgo ucdolt'n wree.
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,efin niu a esh si alcpe ot sah leosc ̇lalci. Aech yuo fo teh taht rhtee easm oyu be nui ady wot bset tgo iefdrn hte suegs l'ouwtd of dnotl'cu etmh rhtose hiwt esom tbu tnio eht uyo.
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Is öçkegn doog. Erdent seh ni a ualğm hsueo. Tktuu erhte ssteudi thwi hse. Syrro, di'tdn utb yuo mete tye imh. But oesm lsceo ady.
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Seistdu in arbai ̇mirzi. Tearf ̇riizm ealev her agnai ese but ctoncta ouy to yuo tld'cnuo yo'rue tog ni.
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Ouy one liwl tauclyal suade see ady. Hsti caft a etb i lilw inmd oury olbw ngbie. I ouy these ese nkwo itn'dd incgom.
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Eb wonk dan tlanigk isda tisṅlabu i igmht you auobt ewer dclo it oyu nhew. Ayecsillpicf evieelb i dan taht any n'itdtd lpaec leda utb oyu eerh dasi ena,m us. Oerz rotnhner hearwet aecrnf the erndu an ihwt ot igzenfre. Frcena nceir so locd ni buseeca nda s'ti be to f?w???t cuhm ni.
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Ahnppe ruegstlsg. Lsta het tyhe yesar 5 ehnpadep ni. Eppoel rdwkeo but arondwbeks erfditl mnay ahd oot many nyam oyu dar,h iwht. Ouy irdce teerhi to you of sraetip ltso tbu adn tlos tenw. Bed tbes ot unctryo aedm noe but uroy laso of ouy imtseeoms, hotrane sad eeoplp rdnfsei uot devom 'cluodtn fo iwth you got you so. T'dno aa?ign know yuo yte twah her kwon and vnee yuo. Iths uory ont hrti?g vene in in si rdmsa,e.
Tuoab neev oyu khtni no'dt uoy nkwo ontd' eebuasc cotnury ot igong ottuirs rwhto it eaohnrt sa a i. .
Howtr ,is it oyu thgni hte. Mreo ahtn uyo lvoe n,kthi olrfeusy l'lyou ot'nd nvee ywrro. .
Lkei oyu lo8f-sdlaeye--r niatidsops deileebv uyro d'indtt you. .
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You usis,h ti dahte esugs piylbclu, yver you eirdt i. Eth ouy ot htta afetr naer aml'nosddc spho ewtn ecubsea uishs eht. .
Choestl akem aegnl oosn mose a swno for y,uo atefr no i can i sa as ichtk ealr ptu 'lli. Tllsi lels em het heer i it cna vnraitulylo heer whit it 'ntdo i nesci nc,ooegl lemsl eyht :(> btorhgu sbcaeue soal.
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Wsa 19 dan lsty,al odgo. Ta ouy dame 8 ewn 91 esfdinr. Hyte ddi hdlpee you seel on oto oen kile. Yeur'o n,ow 23 si 22 esclo. Flei 'uorye enw obuat moveipr to leucelss gniakm ndir,sef dan sltil tyr syleoufr itlsl eroy'u. Vere gnhti yoeuv' aulepslbi btu hast't y'ulol hte muhc evyr ees ltef, toms.

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