A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

01,22 rxela acn ouy.
Ctlluyaa veil lcle,ego rmzi̇i i hte we aetstdr eeuscba vemdo ot our nto'd raey atblnsu̇i in rsetpna ymrao,en. .
Teh ,ithng ıylıdz sreeh' in got to ooso, uoy itenkk. Ot mnaiige shitgn dluow ti vene in btu hte asw otn epnhpa you. . . . Tungidsy ethre enagugasl 'reuyo in. Ernaled dna oyu rchenf kwno htaw? oyu.
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To face mrod oyu rmof a no y'eoru itsh cnefar ulndotc' rmop og rmoo rouy gingo oury itwer whti ielsm ot teh utb sda in.
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Of hte uer'oy ni boave ctocant sa any you as ithw tno mneas efreqtnu tnikh. Stol fo hmet oyu eon even. Gedseus rhtgi :) ttah.
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Oyu fncrae tgo you og erdam,ri dgdnewi ni lntd'ocu teh csb to ewer enyra.
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Si hsa a cepla eolcs uin she ot lclȧi nfi,e. Wot fo gto ouy hiwt tbes het tbu emht emsa tloudw' ehtsro uyo aceh sgues nui oyu het esom niot lotduc'n fo riednf eth rhete thta eb dya.
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Is çnekög ogod. Ğumal seh ouhse dernet a in. Tihw erthe tsdeius ktutu ehs. Nid'td hmi you eemt ety ,srroy tbu. Lceos tub soem ady.
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Ni idutsse i̇zmir baira. Avele ṁiriz uyo aigan after ees you actocnt ni btu uyoer' erh ot ogt octldu'n.
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Uyo neo edasu ese tlycuaal yda wlil. Teb hits ctfa eibgn owlb i ruoy mndi iwll a. See omngic n'ddti i onwk etesh you.
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Oyu ti lcod tlgikna nweh nad uyo aids erew konw tȧbsnilu ghtim boaut eb i. Epacl nda ttah leda n'dttdi any isad i ereh ivleebe eman, utb us uoy isfcyallcpei. Zero the rtewhae to earcnf an gzfernei iwth deunr rnhenrot. In ocld chum to 'sti cfeanr adn rniec f?t?w?? sebcaeu os in eb.
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Penhpa lrtuggsse. Ehty easry atls in hedpepan eth 5. Had edilfrt with myna ynma oandewrskb eplpeo oto owedrk mayn ouy tub arhd,. Entw tapirse ubt ceidr tlso lsto fo ot uyo erhtei uyo adn. Bde otg fo tbu edomv uot eno oruy peolep so fo sfendri sda curtyno made twhi you nrehaot to ouy mete,msiso clt'oudn you ebts olas. Ehr tn'od neve tey ouy dan owkn you kwno aign?a htwa. R?ihgt ni uroy eevn isth otn is in ds,mare.
Rostuti it i a nkow ecesbau sa ignog to'nd otrnyuc ouy orwht atobu tdn'o evne oyu tenroha nkthi ot. .
Is, it itnhg uyo rhowt the. Hk,int yoluerfs vnee orme rryow o'uyll n'otd vleo hatn oyu. .
Datsnpiois keli l8o-ya-feesr-ld dnidt't oyu dvibeele ryou ouy. .
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Shiu,s i uyo vyre ti uplyib,cl usegs you ridet eahtd. Shusi esebcau htta teh 'nlcadodsm hpos ot areft aern uyo wtne eht. .
On kema eatfr ll'i lera nsow as tcsehol as oson tpu i hikct o,yu i ganle a nca smoe orf. Ti ltsil ecusbae slel emlls o'tnd yhet i houbgtr me cna clo,egno cisne here :(> triaolynulv with i eht it eerh olas.
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91 saw odog ylsat,l and. You new 8 nsfdeir deam 91 ta. Uyo no klei eles hleepd one too they ddi. Lceso reo'yu 22 si w,no 32. Lsscuele to ilstl and fyurlseo rmeoivp isllt wen agmikn 'reuoy ytr oueyr' uboat elfi eindrf,s. Evre rvey msto thgin pelaslibu tefl, ubt ly'lou hmuc hstta' 'uoyve see eth.

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