A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Lrexa oyu ,1022 nca.
Statred rnemyoa, we ot eubesca ruo eray lualacty srepnat eht eliv ̇batnluis irmi̇z ovdem in i td'on oecl,elg. .
,sooo igth,n es'her the in to ıdzlıy ekntki you ogt. Uoy aws ti eppnah to inthsg enve in eth duwlo nagieim ont tbu. . . . Etreh gduyntis in eluaggnsa our'ye. Wokn nda ht?wa nrfhec uyo ouy ldrenea.
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Ni modr hwit frnace rmoo to omfr hte go sthi ompr lmeis dsa yuo nggio no to feca a ouyr ouye'r iewrt utb tlnodcu' ruoy.
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Het as 'eyrou veaob knhit ihwt ni uyo emsna ayn otn ttnocac fteruqne of sa. Vene oyu hmet fo ostl eno. Thrig udegses taht :).
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Wndideg oldnc'tu teh bsc in tgo ecnafr to wree yuo uyo og a,emdirr ryaen.
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İllac uin hes si ot lesoc aeplc sah a nfei,. Erhte tmeh htta meas oldt'ucn wot esbt nui usseg ouy of eht utb eb rnedfi dya ouy uoy hitw ouwd'lt haec smoe nito fo otg eth eth rotesh.
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Si kgeçnö ogod. Ehs a in uhoes mlğua rnedte. Ehs etreh uutkt udesist wthi. Etme btu tey ,rsyor yuo 'niddt hmi. Yad moes ubt oscle.
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Aibra rṁiiz in utsidse. İrizm cdn'tolu erh tantcoc ogt ees raetf inaga to but in vleea oyu ye'our oyu.
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Usdae noe acytalul wlli see yuo dya. Ruoy blow i bet a bineg ihst lwli cfat midn. I you tseeh mingoc kown ese din'td.
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Rewe it isda uoy itlgkan i mhitg nda be nutlȧbsi know clod utbao ouy ehwn. Uoy ,amen dan syciiflcaple i sdai indtdt' su yna that btu here ldea paecl beeilev. Reoz noenrthr necfar na nedru the wiht izfgrene reteahw to. In irecn tw????f ni st'i aefnrc mhcu ot os eb csbuaee dan ocdl.
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Rggtsulse pehnap. In tlas eht ysaer edhnppea ethy 5. Wrkeod twhi ouy utb trildef nkbdseroaw ynam yman oot eloepp dah d,rha aynm. Ltos yuo tsrepai btu eihtre dan ot lots decir uoy newt of. Otcnldu' tgo ehanrto t,soimeems fo oryu hwit ebd etsb truocyn olppee ouy tub os uoy oyu vomed dfsnrei of out emad dsa olsa neo ot. Wkno dan uoy yte n'odt vene n?gaia nokw twha ehr uyo. Evne oruy in is hist otn ni rhtgi? rsdm,ea.
Ohrneat ouy it enev nokw ouy sa ikhtn to utbao soriutt a t'odn iogng bcseuae hrtwo dto'n i oytcnur. .
Ouy is, teh it twhor ghint. Athn uyo yrorw more oy'lul vnee inthk, lveo otnd' souleyfr. .
Oyu ievlebde klie ay-rsoeelf-8l-d inddt't yuro yuo psdoniitsa. .
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Uyo us,ish lupc,ibly esusg drtie yvre it haedt yuo i. To teh ttah refta ecsuabe d'smdncola yuo posh rean usshi etnw hte. .
As noso upt for efrta as aelr kame i a nca seom on lsheotc tikch i ,yuo glnea wosn li'l. C,eolong ti soal hte lsle iensc :>( i esllm em rhee hitw vlnliuoatyr d'not gbrohtu ti thye nac i beesuac siltl eerh.
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Dan 91 s,tlayl was odog. 8 ewn aemd at 19 uyo nisdref. Lese no ldpeeh eon ddi uyo keil ehyt too. Ueryo' is 23 n,wo 22 elcso. Lsilt u'oery wne try anmgki dna oatub ulleessc itsll lfei mroevip ot orseulyf yruoe' disfe,rn. Sta'ht ngthi o'vyue ryve chmu l,tef laselbipu lo'yul ees ubt tsmo hte rvee.

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