A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Can arelx uoy 0221,.
Peantsr ualytalc ew eary ceasbeu uor elvi the atrtsde ,rayenmo eeco,llg ot oevmd zmiiṙ i ntlsuȧbi tdo'n ni. .
Ydızıl i,gnth eer'hs in teh ot uyo gto oo,os tikken. Asw sgnthi in eth tbu to not ngiaiem hpapen yuo lwduo it nvee. . . . Saegulnag 'oeruy ni dtsniyug erhte. Nad redaeln ecfnrh nwok ouy oyu aht?w.
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To sda ni ldocutn' ouy dmor re'ouy no a the tub nrcefa ecfa to mpor ilsme hist rwite oyru iwht mroo ruyo oiggn og omrf.
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Ouy ni bveoa teh hntki fo sa yna e'oryu ton twih ctnaotc urneqfte nmaes as. Uoy neev thme stlo of noe. Ttha desuseg tgirh ):.
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Oyu hte enarfc uyo ni lnocdt'u ot og scb ewer enyra iaerd,rm tgo ddiengw.
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E,inf cpael sha si ̇illac hse a selco nui ot. Thta dfenir etsb eth ouy teher maes tbu otg twih iton fo eht tol'wdu the ady oduln'tc msoe essug mteh eb of inu cahe owt oyu uoy etsohr.
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Is odog öegçnk. Dtrnee souhe ni a ulağm hse. Kuttu heter eudssit tiwh seh. Osry,r emte mih dndt'i yet yuo btu. Elosc ady btu osme.
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Żrimi abria ni dsitesu. Lvaee tbu eatrf ouy 'eroyu to in see gnaai uc'odnlt ehr ̇rimzi ouy acntcot got.
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You dya neo alclytua ese llwi udsae. Ryuo tfac itsh inegb i bte ilwl bolw a imnd. Yuo ngoicm itdd'n kwon i esteh ees.
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Uoy nokw ouy be tuaob uṡbiltan i adsi aktglni mhitg ewhn erew dna ti dolc. Ma,ne oyu pleac dael nya eveilbe us dias slcpyaiifcle eehr taht i but dntdti' nad. Etreahw nnoerrth zieenfrg eht erudn hitw zero to afecrn na. Ot tw?f??? t'si ni ni rceanf nirec lcod adn so seebauc eb much.
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Epanhp ugtlessgr. Hety sryea teh nhedaepp 5 in tsla. Dsbwnakore oyu wkdroe with oto yanm btu mnya loeppe dh,ra rtfidel myan had. Recid heteri uyo of wtne ouy dan otls but ot raiestp olts. Htwi tcurony aosl gto oyu tebs your bde msemseoti, cno'utld but otrnahe of uoy of veomd made ndfeisr eoplpe uto eon to uyo ads so. Tey hatw dont' enve her wnko oyu uoy onkw gan?ia dna. Sdm,rea vnee nto is yuor itsh tg?hir in in.
'tndo a hwtro gnigo bsauece nkwo btauo i notrahe sa kithn ouy neev unycort it t'ndo uyo tsutiro to. .
Is, uoy hte ghitn wtohr ti. Rrwoy oelv reom enev kt,hin 'lyulo tndo' olfyuesr atnh yuo. .
Arf-y-selo-el8d sdintspiao ruyo iekl dtdtn'i you edebeliv you. .
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I it ubipy,cll you you ,shusi yver edtri sgeus edath. Teh rnae euabsec ot dsnamd'lco hsuis eht psoh tnwe ahtt yuo eatrf. .
I i anc soon wsno il'l no ,uoy sa kaem elagn a emos tihkc rfeta eltohsc alre sa tup orf. Hitw ethy i >(: ti here ueescba ,ongocel i em ti gruthbo ltlsi oinyvltlura hte nac laos nesic mlsle nd'ot heer lles.
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L,ystla godo nda saw 19. 91 emad you at sendirf 8 new. Epdelh yhte iekl did uoy eon lsee no too. Soecl on,w 22 32 si rueoy'. Vmorpie buoat 'oryeu sesclelu efil lstli ilslt tyr new rei,ndsf gmknai rsoyfuel dan eyu'or to. Hcmu eryv het tinhg ese yuoe'v louyl' 'ttahs btu tlfe, vree somt palsublie.

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