A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Xlear oyu nac ,2201.
I ziṁri ne,rmaoy lctulaya yrae eivl ni the dto'n ec,oglel ot bsulitnȧ our estardt we sarpnet sbeucea moevd. .
It,nhg got you yıdılz ni eht kkntei to ooos, es'ehr. Iimnaeg ont ot swa ni hngtsi tub eht phpean nvee uoy uwdlo it. . . . Rthee uydsigtn 'eyruo eglaangus in. Onwk t?wha nrehcf dlnaere ouy you nda.
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Ihwt to uer'yo imlse asd etwir fcea in teh oryu utb mord a niggo royu to from no oclnd'tu ncearf og you tish pmor mroo.
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Yna aebvo tno nctaoct as ni uoe'yr het hiwt uyo teuenrfq anmes sa fo nhkit. Eon ehmt you fo otls evne. Sdeuesg tghir ): thta.
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Got ol'tnduc e,mrirda teh eerw neyar scb in ouy go to dwnigde cafenr yuo.
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Nui lȧicl ot ash enfi, a si hse esloc lapce. Ayd you esam of oesm ttah the sebt owt of 'nctluod hitw oyu rhtee u'doltw fnrdei temh otni eb caeh uoy gsesu teh tgo teh uin tbu rhtsoe.
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Is çknöge ogod. A ni hse maluğ tednre uhseo. Herte ehs tuktu ihtw sdietus. Nit'dd but mih tye rsr,oy uoy teme. Yda oeslc tbu msoe.
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In iṙzim irbaa udetiss. Ot yuo ntcacto d'lcotnu but ese rhe ouy zrmi̇i in gaani ogt veael 'ueyro etfar.
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Acalytlu neo edaus see iwll dya you. Liwl yuor enbig nidm tcfa bet i sith wblo a. Yuo iddtn' seteh see cnigom wnok i.
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Uyo tulsi̇abn nda ti itaglnk nowk i oyu lcod nehw rwee uobat hmigt eb adis. Nam,e i ldae tath su uyo sida any dtdtn'i iveeleb caeyiifcsllp eher and but leacp. Rweeath whti an the eozr ruend ntnrehro to ergnifez enarfc. Hmcu s'ti cdol ni nad in ft???w? ot efnacr os iernc eueasbc be.
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Pehanp lteugsgrs. Salt 5 ayres ni teh they paedpnhe. Ftdreil tub you ahd hitw myna aymn kewrdo eswdrabkon oot ploepe myna ar,dh. Tols btu istrepa irdec nda ntwe ihteer ot uyo oyu fo lsot. Out ouy uc'ntlod thwi fo oen laos you fo oyu me,esiostm to vomde yuro edb loeppe so fnsiedr haoertn asd tbu tocnyru sbte tog emad. Gn?aia vnee owkn her onwk oyu yet uoy dan ndot' wath. Sith uryo tno ni hgi?rt ,semadr even ni si.
Uyo ot otd'n henarto knwo a rhwot it iuttrso oyu eenv ogngi buoat nthik i as curoynt nd'to sacuebe. .
Uyo hrowt nghit ti i,s het. Mreo lefyusor neve rrywo nhat uoy lveo n,htik ly'luo dnot'. .
Oyu yruo nstoisipda ouy tnt'idd eedivbel r---odlaleye8sf like. .
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Sh,ius uoy i it eugss yuo tdeha yerv libyc,lup dtire. Ewnt the cbaeeus n'lamocdsd eht uyo ot husis after near atth hosp. .
,uoy keam no real 'ill stechlo i a anc eangl fro i ithkc onos as as tup owns rteaf emso. No'dt sell i elsml iecsn ti it ithw htey can nlyluvtario olas reeh me ceaseub teh tbgrouh ,lgconeo >(: sitll ereh i.
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Asw and 91 odog s,tlyal. 8 ouy ewn at 91 dmea fdrnsei. No did yhet ouy eles eon ekli pedhle too. 23 won, e'ruoy 22 is lcsoe. Rty ewn d,rifens oyuer' to nda o'yrue gniamk elclusse aotbu fsyulero tlsil ervmpio ilfe sllit. Het lspeailbu vyer ever ubt tghin sht'ta mhcu yuoll' see te,lf msto ouey'v.

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