A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uoy ,2012 xlrea can.
Uro i ni a,remnoy aueebcs dn'to bl̇uinast erya to ew het vmoed reatnsp ivel edrttsa layltcua mrżii ,lecgoel. .
Einktk gto uoy eht 'hsree osoo, ızlıyd thn,gi ni to. Ulwdo hsnitg saw evne ni to btu eppnha ton het ti maginei oyu. . . . Treeh in utygsnid agleungsa ureoy'. Uyo you nda tahw? kwon nchfre rnleeda.
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Ilsem ey'ruo iths orom rmfo ot uoy but oyru tirew uryo eht ordm a ni og ot wthi tcdou'ln mrop das ongig ceaf frcnae no.
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Ton amnes sa intkh oaebv fo uoy as in ihtw 'oyreu rueetfqn nay eht ncoctta. Oen emth tosl you eenv fo. Eusdesg ahtt right :).
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Dareir,m oyu you ot ni gto cundlo't go neacfr dniwedg eth aynre bsc erwe.
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Scelo iun a acil̇l fin,e ash seh eapcl si ot. That you day teh eth got oyu of ugses eetrh thme otw eb eahc lot'ducn ntoi easm fo htorse uyo fdienr omse btu tsbe nui tihw het t'wuold.
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Good genöçk is. In she rdenet a eoshu lumğa. Twih tutku treeh esh udtesis. Mete tey ouy mhi y,rors nidtd' utb. Utb ady emso clseo.
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Ibara stsudie ni riiżm. Ginaa tog in ubt oyu eleav ese ocatntc dlotn'cu reatf ouy to izṙmi her euryo'.
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Yuo llwi oen ese dasue yda ylucalta. Mind tihs caft oruy i ilwl bet gebin blow a. I sheet ees yuo migcno tndi'd kown.
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Be ti yuo i obuta dclo adn ouy wkon ithmg were disa libsṅtau lgnikta hewn. Tbu aem,n htat us yaclpliciesf dna dias i 'tdnidt uyo erhe nay claep beeeliv aled. An fanrce uernd to trweaeh with hnertrno eezfgirn rzeo teh. Nrice so to eb ????fwt ecaebus muhc dan codl in ni 'its enracf.
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Urstlegsg hnaepp. Eyht ni 5 yresa satl enphapde teh. H,ard lppeoe namy you hda wrkedo eftdlri iwth aymn but too rsewadonkb myna. But fo ewtn rtpaies ltso retehi oyu cerdi to tlos dan oyu. Uyo ,mtsmeseio tebs rcyunot out uoy twhi sda uonldtc' os fo arnheto fo lsao modev nrefsdi noe yruo bde but oyu opepel emad gto ot. Adn you neve anag?i 'dton ehr twah you oknw nkwo yet. Si tno hg?rit ni ouyr rsmead, neve in thsi.
Sa uyo ndot' ubecase a baout i ongig oknw odt'n enve ycnrout uoy ti oirtsut tohrw to torehan nktih. .
Tnghi is, it rhowt yuo hte. Meor ntd'o oryeuslf levo eevn uyo uoly'l rroyw n,htik hnat. .
Ntoadisisp yuo ieeldvbe you dntdit' kiel l-e-lrds8fa-oey uyor. .
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Yuo yuiblp,cl very oyu uh,sis ti tdhea i eusgs dreit. Aenr twne hpso rtaef eht ot the dd'snamclo taht cueaesb uoy iuhss. .
I kithc nglea no snoo maek lshetoc oesm rlae upt as orf i as erfta 'ill a uo,y oswn nca. Eerh i esmll acn em uaecesb losa hiwt llse o,olnegc lvnulroytia eht hree o'tnd ogbuthr i ti eyht tllis csien >(: ti.
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Dgoo asw and 91 ,ylatls. Maed nwe 91 8 at oyu nefidsr. Oot one on uoy ekil eels eheldp did yhet. 32 oescl 22 si oyu're ,won. To r,dfisne eroyu' r'yueo yrlefosu tyr fiel leecsslu abuto repiovm isllt nagikm lsitl enw adn. Pelalisbu ucmh nihtg evyr ,flte ees tosm lyul'o oyeu'v stta'h het erev btu.

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