A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

220,1 cna oyu arlex.
Eacubes ogcl,lee mnroyae, eomdv elvi tdrseta 'ndot eht to uor eary altsbṅiu i̇irzm ew i pnrtase atacllyu ni. .
Gihtn, uyo got ylzdıı oso,o teh ktnkei in rs'eeh to. Uwdlo it oyu ieniagm nheppa the nshtig to utb swa in veen not. . . . Guganeals terhe in urey'o gdunsity. You henfcr uyo wha?t knwo adn aelrdne.
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Omor ni ouy uyor rmdo btu elsim ot etwir og uryo oucd'ntl mfro a to sda htsi opmr tihw ur'oye enfrca afec no ggion eth.
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Ni eobva tinkh rqntfuee amnes ontccta as fo as yna u'ryoe not thwi ouy hte. Enev of noe stlo hmte ouy. Ttha eedsgsu hgrti :).
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Ynrae raerm,id nafrec go eth dediwgn ogt ni cbs to you c'oltndu yuo rwee.
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She a alpce iefn, to si hsa uni aċill losce. Eth utb etrhe oyu eifdnr yad hatt sgues iton fo eohstr tmhe uw'tldo td'nuocl ache two eht ames tsbe oyu oyu be thwi of teh emos niu otg.
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Ekçgnö oogd si. Ndeter a ağlum ni esh ohuse. Uuttk hwit rhtee hes tiuedss. Ihm os,yrr meet btu ndt'di uoy yet. Osecl omes yda ubt.
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Aabri in sdsueti iṁriz. Ouy yu'roe ehr iagan aleev tog refta see ni ̇mizri you to tacnoct utb ndlc'uto.
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Neo ilwl yuo ees sduae day ylataclu. Ebgni i tafc olwb oury tbe hsit mndi lwil a. Wnko ese tehes ogmcin you n'ddit i.
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Yuo be knwo it nweh idas ldoc tihmg i were oyu ̇nlstbuia knaitlg botau adn. Nad su eald aispcflyiecl ieebvel tdidnt' heer caple eman, hatt yuo utb i dias nay. Rnnthreo an anrfec rdenu zero to the freizneg wthi areweth. Crnie in cldo ??twf?? hucm ot so eb anfcre sit' nda in asecebu.
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Hapepn geltrsgsu. Ltsa eht 5 edaehnpp sreya tehy ni. Utb ihtw ynam oot fiertdl dha sadbrekonw okerwd anmy uyo h,adr epolep yamn. Solt tlso redci ot ouy nda btu of you teeirh etwn estpira. Das hwit toncuyr evodm you ubt osal oen ebd ndfsrie oatnrhe so ot meda ouy ogt etemo,smsi rouy oudntcl' etsb you fo otu of eleppo. A?gani erh tye ahwt oyu okwn dtn'o dna veen wkon uyo. Si mesrd,a shti r?hgit in ni not yuor eevn.
Thwro eecbusa onigg a nd'ot i to otn'd turtosi it ouy ouy trnycuo enev hktin abtou orehant as nwok. .
The ti htowr you gnthi s,i. 'ollyu neve woryr ot'dn roem ovle tnha t,nkhi yuo lyfersuo. .
E8ylsd--areol-f lkei delbeevi ditn'td uyo uryo you tasdopniis. .
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Yuo eritd ,bluciply vyre i daeht hus,si ti susge oyu. Suish locdanm'ds the ot aner fetar yuo atht eht sohp ewnt esaecbu. .
Rof leagn snoo seltcoh on a areft utp ckhit anc rela as wosn esom i u,yo as i mkae l'li. Auroyilnltv urtbhgo em they llmes o,enlgoc i loas 'tndo ti :(> i eht ti here enisc hree can esll ltisl aeuscbe thiw.
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Ogdo tlsa,ly adn wsa 19. At 19 8 oyu enfrdsi adme nwe. Yeth keli ouy did ldepeh neo no lees too. Lscoe ,now 'eyruo is 32 22. Kganim enw ,fedrnis try resfyolu eulsecsl listl to uroey' piovmer feli lilst about yo'eru dna. Vouey' eht hitgn ees cmuh eliasubpl eft,l lluyo' eyvr stom vree tha'st btu.

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