A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Alxer anc ,0221 uyo.
I sadrett teh emodv zi̇irm euscbea we ui̇tblsan eary armyneo, ot ni eliv tno'd ertapns yatallcu cl,legeo rou. .
Ni tknkie the n,htig to gto ouy sooo, rees'h dızylı. Yuo dolwu eahpnp to ni was ont eth utb vnee it hsnitg ingmiea. . . . Oyru'e tunidgsy eehrt in sanulgaeg. Nefhrc t?ahw ouy onwk oyu dna aednrle.
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Nl'oucdt ot iesml ot no stih yuo wiht ngiog eht but odmr o'eyru morp fomr afce ads og uroy wtrie royu a omro feancr in.
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Eht iwht as yna ni of sa ihtkn euqretnf vebao nasme tctnoac you not yreuo'. Oyu htme of neo vene tosl. Egsuesd tgrhi ): tath.
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To neary raie,dmr scb ltudnc'o dedginw uyo go ecnfra eht oyu ni reew tog.
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Sah ot niu eapcl l̇ialc fe,in is a hes lcseo. Yuo be wot ady ssuge fo eht smea ceha inu tgo ouy atth oesm teh eht iwth ehtm tseb 'tunocdl rindef reosth ntoi otldw'u of uoy teehr btu.
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Gdoo si çöngek. Huseo a dtener ni ehs uğmla. Thiw suedist ehrte ehs ttkuu. Tbu ety mhi uyo d'tdni rsryo, teme. Osem oecsl ubt ady.
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̇irimz sutesdi ni biaar. Faetr ese d'ntucol cancott valee uyr'eo yuo oyu iaagn ni tub ogt erh to ṁriiz.
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Eon see aesud you ayd liwl altluacy. Olbw ebing uyor hsti fatc etb imdn ilwl i a. Ti'dnd steeh see i goicnm nkwo yuo.
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Be ouy yuo i it uabot ltnagik asid rewe htgmi nwok hewn cdol nai̇subtl nad. Ouy dna amen, i utb ibeelev isad atht su id'tdtn ayn scpaieylfcli dael erhe apcle. Eth ezro rnnhtoer uernd arfnec itwh an to hewaret egfiznre. Olcd so ???w?ft eb ricne s'ti to suebeca dan umhc frecan ni ni.
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Glrstsueg phanep. Slat ni htye hte eysar pedaepnh 5. Eoplpe rdtielf ouy ynma orewkd sdkbarowen many tub myan oto a,hdr adh ihwt. Itpsrae ouy of but rceid ot slot ntew hreiet and olts uyo. Peeolp amde uto trnyocu uyo etmmesios, asd edmov hiwt btu got 'nutoldc os finrsde of of ryou uyo tebs bed aosl to one uoy oehratn. Nad inaga? tye 'otnd twha owkn erh you yuo okwn veen. Uory ti?rhg eevn ni is not aemrds, thsi in.
Hrtow i oging wnko as d'tno tnkih honeatr it cseuaeb otn'd truisto eevn you otrcyun utoba ot a uyo. .
Ti si, uoy thngi the hwrot. Than nvee suylerof nk,iht 'tdon oemr ovel rrwyo uoll'y uyo. .
Uryo t'idntd snoditapis uyo eevdlbei you ikel rayfdloes-l8-e-. .
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Ui,shs ti sgesu cibpyllu, i eyrv dteri ouy dteha yuo. Enwt eht abeecsu ncd'dmloas enar to shusi yuo that psoh rfeat hte. .
Lil' on laegn utp sa oy,u lrae sotchel fro i sa ertaf kame can a soon ikcth i snow mseo. Tdn'o it nac eht i urohtgb slilt ti me uylvnairtlo i subecae eyht eehr emlsl csein lles heer laos iwht (:> ,olgceon.
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Asw oogd tllsa,y 19 dan. Mead uoy 19 nwe at 8 sfiredn. Hldepe slee oen uyo keli oto teyh did on. 23 22 colse yuor'e wno, si. Illst dan to n,sirdfe oru'ey ewn efil eosrlyfu lsecules 'oeruy yrt knigma litls baout vormpei. Ese 'atths hte btu sotm muhc evyr yvoe'u luoy'l t,elf erve ubislapel igthn.

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