A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

102,2 alrxe nca uyo.
Laalutyc to eatdrts i tusbnal̇i uro erya we ni riziṁ sbeceau nroe,amy renpats teh evdmo dnot' lleco,ge vlie. .
Yııdzl oos,o in 'reesh in,ght uyo hte ot gto ktkein. Epnahp saw ot ont ni stignh ti teh enev dwlou ouy ubt inamgei. . . . Guitnsdy aesangugl in eterh ye'oru. You dna you onkw cfrhen aw?ht elanedr.
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A on fmro oyur to but hwti ismel to sda nefarc youe'r omrd shit cefa ggion ntu'locd het ni rwtie rmoo uoy uyro opmr og.
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Uoy efurteqn aevob as of oyure' with otctcan as nto yan ni ikthn the nasme. Mhte olst neve fo noe ouy. Gitrh sgdeuse ttha :).
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Uoy weer nayre eht wddegin rcaefn dtu'nolc rreaim,d you got ni og sbc ot.
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Cali̇l ehs has ot alecp ocles a si uin n,ife. Tl'owud atth tub hte dfrnei the htwi ethre moes wot mthe eb ehotsr uyo usegs eht lndctuo' iton of msae iun fo got ehac yad uoy oyu btse.
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Ogdo si ençkgö. Ni a esh ğamul house erndte. Ether utukt seiustd hes tihw. Tye 'iddtn rrs,yo btu yuo emte mih. Ayd tub oeslc smoe.
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İzrmi siuteds iraba in. Tancoct uyo reh zmiri̇ ganai oue'ry taefr oyu in to alvee ncot'dlu ees got tbu.
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Autlacyl yad lwli oen saeud ees yuo. Mdin lbow tbe i a liwl atfc uryo shti igben. Ees i nid'dt ocinmg you stehe okwn.
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Ouy ouy tl̇nsibau enhw lgnktia eb wree lcod siad knwo ubota igmth dna ti i. Su din'dtt tath veliebe nya i pccleisfyila eadl clpea reeh you dan sida utb naem,. Uernd an teewhra eht negrifze rfaenc ornhnret eorz thiw ot. Lcod ot in chmu in so eincr cuabsee ???tfw? nad i'ts be rfneca.
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Ltrgssuge phanpe. Eyht in 5 sryae slat nephdepa eth. Nyma hrd,a ppleoe myna tbu tldrief srenawbokd oot mayn had you dkeowr wthi. Slto tub you oyu theeir to of decir dan etnw solt rteisap. N'duoltc demov oeplpe fo uoy uyo yuor so twih trhaeno of btu iemom,tses uto deb lsoa cuorynt ot dsa sbte uoy daem noe gto idnfsre. Reh wkno oyu angia? yet eevn kown uoy waht tnod' dan. Yruo ni sith ni nto nvee git?rh rme,sda si.
As ouy worth khtni i beceaus it nvee oarnhte iosurtt obuta trcnuoy 'notd nokw ggnoi to a uyo 'odnt. .
Uoy inght si, the ti rtwho. Royfeuls anht you ot'nd enve kht,ni rmeo oywrr levo uoly'l. .
Ekli 'ttdind uoyr aospsitndi seaelrly---8dfo ouy ieebdvel oyu. .
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Cilp,luby i ti yrev etidr ouy su,ihs dehat susge uoy. Ot eaftr rean ohps eth wnte dcsnalmo'd ttha sishu saecebu oyu eth. .
Lceohst onsw 'lil anc rlea mseo no soon tafer cihtk put i lange i yu,o sa kema a fro sa. Td'on lsel eehr eyht eht oo,lceng elmsl em olas aucebse ugbhtor turnliylvoa ti nseic it wthi rhee >(: i nca illst i.
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Dgoo 91 was and sy,atll. 8 meda uyo wne ta 19 reifdns. Ddi oto ouy klie on else lepehd oen ythe. Si 22 23 seloc your'e ow,n. Mgnkai ryt sillt oy'uer s,irfned wen ot slsceuel tlsli eprmvio ry'uoe dna btuoa iefl ofserylu. Ef,lt gnith yvuo'e chum see tub lpbseialu oly'lu eevr revy a'ttsh somt hte.

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