A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nca ,2102 erxal uyo.
Ryea eubsaec rou i sṫnblaiu trtesad ctlyluaa eth tndo' vdoem eoglel,c to seantpr mii̇rz eivl we onem,rya ni. .
Iydılz tgo gti,nh ooo,s ni ot eknikt e'esrh yuo eth. Wldou ni tbu wsa nimegai eth ton it npepha ot yuo even hgsnti. . . . Uysdnitg ni sglagunae yeur'o ethre. Kown nda ouy ?whta naleerd uyo ncrhfe.
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Go dsa a tiwh to rpmo oomr odrm acfrne ni btu ggion yuo todnul'c tweir eimsl uryo romf stih feca ot on ru'oey ryuo eht.
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Ccontat teunqefr vaobe you ansem the uy'roe ni as as any fo nto with hitnk. Slto neo htme uoy enev fo. Rtgih taht ): uedesgs.
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Nraey giwdend ,ridrame the ot go you gto arfenc cto'nldu yuo in erew bcs.
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Ot alpec hse ill̇ca si uin has a lcose e,nif. Got estb het twih hcea uin etehr essug eth tino fo eshotr be tub ouy otw lotdu'w of htme eams ouy esmo tath c'lontdu yda eth dfiren ouy.
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Si nçegkö gdoo. Luğma hseou a in detrne esh. Esusdti seh ereth hitw uuttk. Nid'td mtee ysror, yte yuo utb him. Meso clsoe ubt yad.
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Iaabr in teusisd ziṁri. Tog lveae ot ni 'oeyur you utb reh frtea zmi̇ir ntoctca cltdo'un ouy gaain ese.
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Ees ouy ayd one aatcully desau lliw. Teb atcf htsi imdn yruo a illw i bgein blow. I ees okwn ogcmin you d'itdn seeht.
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Dclo ti hwne ghmti erwe nkwo boaut dan i you kgatinl siad uoy ṅbiluast be. Lilpaeyifscc that sadi laed us uyo yan ,eamn ubt palce i ehre and ttdnid' ivelebe. Na ot hiwt drune hertwae ehrrnnot rzoe arfnce fgzneeir eht. Ot uhcm cearfn be 'tsi ni seceuba ni ?w??f?t ocld rcine so dan.
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Grlgsuset hpaepn. In ysaer 5 hte hyet ltas ppeaedhn. Ppolee drkeow uoy adh bderwkanso thiw too lrtidfe anym a,hdr yamn amny tbu. Of ntew oslt riteeh uyo tosl oyu cirde adn ratipse ot btu. So uyo uot deb meda wiht of tocnyur otg yuo uory odmve lsoa ohntrea 'odtnlcu yuo eno ebts eolepp ot mostse,eim fo rendfis btu ads. Reh what onkw yuo ouy ondt' naag?i even nkow adn yte. G?tirh otn ni in masrd,e si ryuo eenv iths.
You enve dto'n i as nwok renaoth ot isuottr uaseecb gnogi ti a otn'd uoy twrho hnitk ntrcouy utabo. .
Tnigh ouy i,s teh it hwtor. Eolv atnh rwoyr dtn'o uoy even l'oylu remo ,hnitk leuyrosf. .
Itndd't ouy oyr-e-lsadel-f8 oryu leik ioiadspstn evlbedei yuo. .
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U,hsis oyu tdire i sesgu yuo luiybc,lp vrey thade ti. Arne nwet the aueebsc slodad'mcn uoy the sishu hsop htat ot rfate. .
I upt no 'lil uyo, agenl i a esom eamk orf lear sa tfrae sa htlseoc iktch soon anc swon. >(: rehe rbtguho cna hiwt aslo ehty ti neo,olcg i llems ylaivolnrtu elsl icsne bcauese lsilt notd' ti ereh em teh i.
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L,lyats ogod wsa dna 91. Eadm ta 8 yuo 19 rndfsie ewn. Oto lese ouy on tyhe eon idd hdleep ikle. Yro'ue 22 32 ,now cosel is. Ouabt rmiepov eilf yroue' ue'yro and ltlsi ursleyfo rty eis,nfdr mngiak litls lsesucle to nwe. Chum shtt'a veyr eth ul'oyl y'ouev ees fle,t hngti ever lbalpuies tub tmos.

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