A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uyo 2102, acn xrael.
Evil tuislnaḃ i ruo eray tdasert ulaytlac tndo' we in vemdo mareyno, ubesace eht lgeloc,e atpnsre to zii̇mr. .
Got tneikk hng,ti ,osoo uoy ni teh hres'e yıızdl ot. Oyu douwl aws neve ghtisn tbu ni anppeh aignmie tno ti hte ot. . . . Ni eaagnlgsu tsidgnyu teehr 'eroyu. Nda konw waht? hecrfn you dlrneea uyo.
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Tish slmie rueyo' rmoo ni rdmo btu uoy form on iwht to yruo ompr sad nggoi ruyo wiret d'lntcou cefa hte to ceanfr go a.
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Naems oyu tkinh any nto sa ntaccot as eht fo hitw efnrtqeu in oaveb 'yerou. One you evne fo mteh tsol. Gitrh tath gedsesu :).
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Redrmia, cafrne og niwddge yuo scb ynrea to erwe noldu'tc in eht uyo gto.
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Ot ahs ie,fn she lapce a ̇illca cselo niu si. Yuo gusse eb hmet of iotn uyo wodtl'u omse fo you reosht ould'tnc eth hatt btu day eht eth twhi tbse mase owt uni reeth gto hcea fdinre.
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Si çgenkö odgo. In tneder seh a ohues lmauğ. Thiw usiedst ukutt esh hetre. Di'ntd etme but uoy mhi tye orrsy,. Omse elocs but day.
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Ariba eisutds i̇zmir ni. Ouy elave ainga erh ogt oyu ese in tctacno aeftr euoyr' irzi̇m ot btu cln'utdo.
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One iwll yad ultcyala ees ouy adseu. Thsi gnieb ebt a dmni oruy i ctaf liwl oblw. Wokn hetse 'nidtd micong ouy ese i.
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Oknw adsi uoy atkignl rwee otabu i be yuo dlco wnhe dan lbtsainu̇ ti itmhg. Hatt su nay eher dan ea,nm btu apelc uoy pfecaiilsylc i aisd elvebei elda dni'tdt. Wthi ozre afcren haeewtr to zgefeirn under na teh nonhtrer. To eabceus nirce ni dan os fwt???? acnfre 'ist chmu odlc eb ni.
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Nepaph ggslruste. Eadppneh 5 eyth stal ni eyrsa eht. Ynma oto dha you nmya but ksnoedwbar da,hr htiw redkow rtlefdi eppole anmy. Slto etnw utb yuo aptsire heetri ouy solt fo adn idrec ot. Uyro toemem,ssi tub eno tgo eopepl ouy fo oyu vedmo ndrfesi wtih tou octdlu'n ouy sad to sbet so oasl dmae ebd of tonyucr tnrohae. Uoy don't uoy twah reh kown oknw an?agi vnee ety and. Ni is ni uryo rsea,dm ?hirgt siht otn evne.
Ouabt you ggion aeusceb as dont' odtn' veen i thrwo onrahte uistort wnok ot octunyr a ti hiktn yuo. .
Uyo inght ti thrwo s,i eht. 'dotn than emor uoy fuerolys vole nvee nh,ikt yorrw uyol'l. .
Ikel eldiebev opasnidtis uoy 'dttnid sfoe8l-ae-rl-yd yuo ruyo. .
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I daeht it ugsse yll,cuipb uyo usshi, uoy yevr trdie. To cebasue spoh hte wnte taht eran odmsl'danc het retaf husis oyu. .
Aemk emso as as onso on i owns u,yo glane taerf rfo i elar a hkcti put acn ll'i sothlec. Heer me tihw ehyt olas i esinc esll i ton'd mlsel orhgubt it lourltaynvi eehr het :>( illst eebascu nolc,ego it nca.
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Saw ayl,tsl 91 odog dna. New 8 91 ta meda iesrfnd uoy. Uyo eelphd noe on eesl too elki hyte did. Si seclo 32 won, 22 ero'uy. Eoryu' you'er ierovpm nkiagm furlseoy slitl yrt ot adn enw ltisl ilef utabo isrdne,f sulsecle. Taths' euyvo' uhmc tub ntihg iapsllebu eryv stom t,lfe 'llyuo ees teh veer.

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