A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac 021,2 rxela ouy.
Aatulcyl raspnet the ruo evomd nmraeoy, tnuailṡb i oecllge, in 'otdn ceeaubs ṁrizi ayer vlei ew strteda ot. .
Teh you ighnt, in gto resh'e ot ,sooo eitknk zldyıı. Wsa nhigst btu ouy enve eht heppan wulod ni it ot inigeam ton. . . . Ro'euy in ygndstui heter lsneggaua. Wtah? and reeladn ouy knwo ouy chfnre.
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Y'ruoe faec og oomr ngigo rmof sliem to no a hiwt tbu rweit shti enrcfa oruy oury in porm the rmdo oyu to dsa td'ulcon.
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Otn anesm hnitk eht u'eyro ni fo with tcanotc as any yuo fqutnere sa evoba. Vnee thme you of otsl one. Dessegu :) irhgt atht.
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Erwe iddwgne oyu yarne to tog dmrire,a csb ni ludont'c oyu hte eanrfc og.
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To ilacl̇ niu sha lpeac ,fine a hse eclso si. Itwh fo ssueg rfidne ceha the ubt wot uoy ehmt tgo eht tcu'dnol eb ahtt utw'old ady hoesrt oyu mose hte tnio fo eethr smea yuo uni tsbe.
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Ngeöçk is godo. Ni euohs a hes edertn uağlm. Ktuut ehs twih treeh udsiste. Uoy mtee btu idt'nd yte oyr,rs mhi. Csloe btu yda osem.
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Zmiiṙ ni eisdtsu baiar. Tcantco ese to her aelev ṁzrii agnia yuo frtae nt'ludoc but you tog oyer'u ni.
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Lliw suaed ees oen yuo day yulatlac. Oryu dinm bgine tsih i tfac olwb bet liwl a. Ees dintd' uoy nkwo i ehtse monicg.
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Olcd it aunsṫlib be nad newh tabuo nkow aids uyo likgant uoy reew i gihtm. Iescpiycallf deal acelp ouy rehe 'tintdd nad i tbu sdai yan nmae, su veeebli hatt. Het earewth wiht rndue etonrrnh na rzoe irzefnge to ncfaer. Ot ucmh so eausebc ocld be in ernafc si't ncrei dan ni f???wt?.
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Ggsusertl aephnp. Ythe esray stal teh nephpdae ni 5. Dh,ra oppele drlfite kreswaodbn yman btu many oto dha mayn whti ekwdro oyu. Oslt slot nwet ethrei btu of to siparet yuo yuo ierdc nda. Eno of oyur edvmo uyo yuo thrnaeo uctno'dl utb otrncyu dmea sda fo so tsbe iwht efdnisr eoeppl yuo oesmsimet, dbe uot saol ot tog. Tye nkwo a?igan 'dnot nda awth ouy rhe ouy eevn konw. Is ni h?ritg neev in uyor ihts nto d,srmae.
Uoy nhikt eusceab as to a enev you ignog nowk trustoi abuot tno'd unotryc hotrw ti i d'tno ntohera. .
Hte ,is ti gihtn uoy hrowt. Enev vloe tanh lo'uyl ofsuyrle rwyor nti,kh yuo rmoe t'don. .
Yuo keli a--llde8yfe-ors bveiedle ptsidnosai 'itddnt you uyor. .
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Headt rvey i uyo isu,sh cilpu,lyb it guess ditre ouy. To rena tnwe tfaer hte pohs nd'samcdol ussih yuo eht bseauec ahtt. .
Ectohsl as ealr li'l i lgena osno i a nac put nsow kthic feart smeo aekm fro as no yo,u. Lmels ruoalyinvtl lels otdn' teh whit me baecsue :(> ecins reeh iltsl no,elcgo i losa ti cna heer ethy ohbgtru i ti.
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91 dan odgo swa lslay,t. 91 ouy wne 8 dmae at fidresn. Oen oyu dphlee heyt did oot ikle on esle. 32 euo'ry si nw,o elocs 22. Llits wen lssuleec ipmrvoe ytr mgaink aobtu efli llits to ,fesrndi syluorfe nda eu'ryo o'eruy. Ese vyer igtnh 'oyveu as'tth letf, blpeulisa mtos het ever ll'yuo mcuh utb.

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