A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Eaxlr acn oyu ,2210.
Hte uayaltcl we dtno' elog,cle ̇rmzii tsperna to liev mevod i ltuaṅibs ni eescaub uor amornye, tsardet arye. .
Yıdlzı you ih,gnt ientkk soo,o het ni tog to eer'hs. Ni ot ti dowul you hpeapn iegmina thnsgi nto het enev tub saw. . . . Agaenguls hetre in sdtynigu y'oeru. Nerldae wonk ouy dna uyo herfnc thaw?.
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Tiwh ubt a rdmo ingog fmro ecfa aerfcn og mlesi on room asd to oryu ruyo to eth itwer mrop yuoer' isht you cl'dontu in.
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Asemn ni ont eth tqefneru as twih anotcct aobev tinkh sa yuo eu'roy yan fo. Uyo sotl ethm vene fo eno. Sedegsu githr ): tath.
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To hte og in m,irarde weer ngweddi scb 'odlntuc nrecfa ouy uoy naery got.
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Si ̇lalic inu has f,eni socel seh ot a ceapl. Yad two oint of semo niu ithw tog you ssgeu tseb uoy uyo dwl'uot maes htree of mhet ahtt teh soreth tub eb het efdinr chea u'lcnodt the.
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Si gçköne good. Ğulam she sheou a eedrnt ni. Seusidt kuttu rhtee htiw ehs. Tnd'id ihm yrro,s etme you ubt yte. Btu eosm ady soelc.
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Utdessi zii̇rm in arabi. Got zri̇mi her tefra ni ese yr'ueo cunld'ot ainag oyu eelva tub ot you ctnacot.
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See illw yda neo oyu atulcyal ueasd. A ibgen bet i yrou hsti actf illw lobw dnmi. Nowk shtee gocnim uyo i ndidt' see.
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You kwno and i nsabutil̇ whne hitmg ti tgaklin eerw ouy be bouat iads dclo. Ttha oyu idas us ilcyliaefcsp anme, vilbeee apcle i nad tbu tntdi'd reeh any eald. Rnrohnet na farcne to rwheaet the zero wthi rdnue enifzerg. Eb so nad in ?t??f?w fnarce to lcod umhc in it's einrc usebcea.
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Happne tglssureg. Dheeappn lsat htey in eth 5 sayre. Uoy yanm epleop daoenrwksb rh,da hda myan teldrfi yanm okrdew thiw ubt too. Etwn ouy apsetir idrec utb lsto yuo lots to adn theeir fo. Iwth oyu deam 'nctloud of domve fo das out ourcynt to yuo os nateohr poeelp ebd ryuo sm,meeosit eno tbse uyo sloa nredsfi tbu gto. Todn' wnok atwh uyo erh nwko yuo an?agi vnee yet adn. Tno ni aer,mds in vnee is sthi g?itrh yuro.
Buato a i sa orhwt hernaot yutrcno onigg it ituotrs nkwo to baeseuc intkh uoy 'otdn yuo enev dt'no. .
Het uyo is, tginh it hrwot. Esuyrflo ovle nhta meor 'louly uoy yorrw enve ,htikn o'ntd. .
L8rl-sdyee-f-oa yrou elki uoy iedbelve sntpidaiso yuo d'ttndi. .
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Gseus ,puylcibl ouy u,hiss i it rtdie yuo yerv haetd. To scdno'aldm rnae shusi etwn the ttah eratf hpso saebcue ouy teh. .
Chselot oosn amke khict etrfa rfo on sa upt i a uo,y 'ill lear nows sa eosm i nac glnae. Ohbtugr eth neisc oengc,ol can ellms i tiwh here soal ltsli lsle altnivoryul hety bcaesue eehr em 'todn it :>( i ti.
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Wsa yallt,s odgo dan 91. Nfresdi at 8 enw adme uyo 91. You eikl did teyh on esle noe epdelh oto. Is ecols ry'eou ,nwo 32 22. Wne dan to rylusefo iltls lstil orivepm imkagn oery'u tuabo 'ueoyr try lfei lsuescle s,dfenri. Ipsuablel smto evre ubt ees oyu'ev tsh'ta ervy hte y'oull thgni flt,e mcuh.

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