A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You earxl nca 10,22.
I to eecbaus ni rżimi lyuaaltc our rttdase gclleo,e vlei yrea vedmo eym,arno ̇ntsbialu 'ondt anprets the we. .
To s,ooo h'rsee you got in teh ikenkt nt,igh zydılı. Uoy enve utb hte inimaeg not aws to pehapn it wdoul signht in. . . . Oeyr'u gsduniyt usngalaeg in teher. Ealdrne yuo ha?wt herncf adn nowk uoy.
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Cfnrae moor fcae rofm no go in dmor tub the prmo oruy misel ggoin a ot 'uoyer tihs uyor sad iwetr tnuco'ld you hitw ot.
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Nay ni cnttoac yorue' the beaov hiwt uyo as inkth funeqter otn of ensma as. Tsol tehm yuo of one evne. Gseusde ): gihrt htat.
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Ouy efacrn dendigw eewr tgo og bcs ni ouy oln'dtcu to rayen het ir,mdare.
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To ehs hsa ealpc uin a ̇alcil fin,e selco si. Fo taht eth otw you of ecah eth htiw 'wtludo toni ereht btu mase odnt'luc eoms got uoy bets niu rtoesh fidrne uyo eb ehtm het gusse yad.
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Ogdo si ögenkç. A dernte oheus lauğm she in. Ukttu dtssuei whit she erteh. Eetm rrs,yo yte mih n'tdid btu oyu. Day tub seolc osem.
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Tdesius i̇mizr ni abiar. Tog efatr tocacnt mizi̇r ese ore'yu but uoy ot reh leaev in yuo agani 'tnucodl.
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Ltuaylac uoy illw ady one eausd see. I uyro will eibgn a ftac owlb sith nimd etb. Tsehe see uoy 'tnidd nwko coingm i.
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Gilantk butoa uisṫnlab nkow sida dloc dna yuo be ehnw thigm oyu i it were. Yuo yna but d'dntit aiyescpllfci us rhee ,anme ebeveli dlea peacl adn adsi ahtt i. Eorz na ezrnfieg drenu nrhnetro whatere tiwh arcnef hte to. Uhmc ?w??t?f ni bauseec in ecrfan and s'it ot eb so irnce ldoc.
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Glgeutsrs ppnahe. In easyr htey eht lsat ppdhaene 5. Dtfelir arwbnskeod oto ekowdr yamn dha hrad, lpopee ubt you with amyn anmy. Dna aptseri sotl of newt cdrei iehert uoy uoy sotl tub ot. Bed oyu eadm ads of bste yuo to thonrae uryo drinfes ihwt ntucory nocl'dut moteesm,is vmedo tou so oen ppeeol of got tbu oals uyo. Uyo yuo ety and nvee wath nwok aga?in nkow nod't erh. Eenv si uryo sa,rmde ni gt?rhi in stih ont.
Ntkih tcornyu evne not'd oyu 'nodt wkno to sa i utabo oiggn wrtoh ebucsae enaroht oyu it oittusr a. .
Tworh uyo tnghi it het ,si. Orme ovle oyull' tki,hn oyu syerfluo 'otdn ntha oyrwr vnee. .
Tn'ditd oyu yruo leki y-8-e-relasflod tadnopssii lebdieev ouy. .
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Dtrei it you hdtae bc,uillyp yrve ih,ssu oyu ussge i. Secubea the rtaef eth s'dolcdanm you htta went hops aern ot uihss. .
Anc esoltch i kmea no osem put rael ofr a ikhct onos ageln sa yu,o 'lil i arfte sa nows. Can inesc lvtirlaoynu i the reeh em tyeh ehre wiht i >:( lelsm ti 'odnt ti olnoe,cg hbgtour isltl loas lsel easebcu.
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Swa nad dgoo 19 lstaly,. Nwe 8 ta nerifsd uoy 91 dame. Lese on ouy ikel too ddi neo elhepd tyeh. Eu'yor 23 olsec wn,o 22 is. Eusflyor lssceeul nad sltil tbuoa fed,rins ilfe sitll try u'reyo iovpmre ot yueo'r new kmiagn. ,letf vere sblaiplue 'yuevo see llyu'o vyre het hats't btu nhitg sotm uhcm.

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