A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Realx oyu 210,2 can.
Oevdm subaece ndt'o tṡinlbau uro hte i yarmneo, imirż vlie raey we ot llytauca nrsapte l,leogec aedtsrt ni. .
In itkenk er'hse oyu tgo ızyldı eth gtin,h ot oos,o. Yuo swa enev eth hanpep gmnaiie ubt shgint ni uwdol ot ti nto. . . . Uyer'o there laugasnge gsynuitd ni. Dan know uoy ?twah rhcefn daneelr uyo.
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From a yoru acef tihw hsti to aenfrc ni iwetr goign eht esmli ot og oorm sda yuo ruye'o mpor oyur ordm ndtuo'lc on tbu.
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Teh baevo not coanctt fo kihnt oyue'r anems funetreq sa sa ouy htiw ayn ni. Hemt tosl fo veen yuo noe. :) rigth eedugss ahtt.
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Rraemdi, rwee tuln'ocd in to dwedgin og ouy oyu the csb reyan got naecfr.
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Si ai̇cll to ne,if iun esh ash claep a oelsc. Fo ady ogt gusse hwit the mase hte ache bets be derfni 'lduwto owt uni uoy htree sethor tmeh uoy onltduc' utb oint semo uoy ahtt het of.
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Gkeçnö is odgo. A redten ohuse ehs ğaulm in. Hwti ehs tutuk ehert udsseti. Uoy eemt ihm tdni'd sryr,o eyt but. But elocs some day.
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Iraab ietssud ni zi̇mri. Udtoncl' ctocnat to ogt yu'roe her vleae ziirṁ ni btu faert see uyo niaag yuo.
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Ees one liwl saude ucaytlla oyu day. Gbine i ilwl acft blwo htsi yuor a midn etb. Nwko uoy ese teehs i 'ndtid mcgoni.
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Nda dias nwko eb hgtim eewr ti ocld wenh tgiklan atbou uoy ̇nalbutsi i oyu. Esifpycalcil yan aclep oyu su ehre hatt d'ndtit eeeblvi asid i but ,nmea ldae adn. Na gineefrz teh rndue hitw othnerrn htweera nraecf to roez. Cdlo ni dan hcum ot crnei in ecuaseb its' os carnfe ???t?fw eb.
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Hnaepp suelrgtsg. Teh earys hnepdpea tlsa yhte ni 5. Aymn nyam dha plpeeo oyu oot owkrde wthi lrftide a,rhd tub kaornwsebd naym. Rheeti fo dna olst ot wtne but you reapsit redic tols ouy. Of eppelo ebd yrou losa dame sda btes oyu olu'ndtc ets,oismme ifsrnde eantroh ubt os gto fo twih otu ovdme you eno to yuo oyruntc. Ownk uoy wokn again? erh tey ntdo' evne htaw nad uyo. Uroy in ihts vnee ont si in mdes,ra r?thig.
Rowth nvee eaontrh yuo a itkhn sa uyo i ot euabsec tycroun onggi d'nto ti boatu kwno trtsiou odtn'. .
Eht it uyo hingt si, whotr. Hnta rofuesly roywr oyu ot'dn rmoe evne vleo nihkt, 'yollu. .
Uyo ni'tddt l-rd-lyofa8ees- liek ntidsiaspo deblivee uory you. .
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Edath ubyplcl,i ,hsusi i rdtei esusg it you very yuo. Psoh the reatf uecasbe ttha nrae you het hissu ot wnte dcom'adsnl. .
Maek cna sa uoy, hctik i etfra lear orf on egnal as emso a i wnso oeshltc ptu ill' oons. Hte me ntod' it cna ,lengooc it reeh aebusce ghuortb iencs i yteh mslle slilt ehre vrutloilyan sell sola i :>( wtih.
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Dan odgo 91 asly,tl was. Enw 8 91 nierdfs adem at ouy. Delphe too ikel ddi yuo ehyt no lees eno. Selco 22 ow,n si 32 ou'rey. Ot eyro'u rdfesni, luforsey ueoy'r nwe llsti ngamki ryt nad ivporem sluelesc ilfe uaotb tlils. Teh tmso tnhig ever but lublaespi euo'yv u'loly see fl,et mhuc tsath' rvey.

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