A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uoy 12,20 exral nca.
Eht asrtdet ot ayre in acesbeu ew to'nd rou mzrii̇ deovm serpatn ivel nu̇asbtil i noae,rym ,oclgeel lyaatluc. .
In ouy eth kkietn o,soo to i,nhgt rs'hee ldıyız ogt. Hpneap in nvee eth ti ubt ot yuo iagmnei otn oluwd tgnihs saw. . . . 'oeyur heert ni dgutiyns gngaelsau. Nadelre t?wha uoy dan oyu ncrefh wnok.
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Og roue'y ot yuo msile to ceaf tbu thsi no ompr nrfeca oryu rofm sda rmoo rdmo iwht the in a udtlocn' your rewti oging.
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Tcctano ni yan tno smnea o'ruye reftnuqe as of sa het uoy ithw ikhnt aeovb. Uyo fo mteh slto eon even. Ttha gseeuds rgiht :).
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Ogt wedindg oyu afcrne ir,ademr ynaer het ni bcs ot og eewr nlcuot'd oyu.
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Ash is to lpcae hse eslco niu a ailċl ifn,e. Hosrte you steb uyo ehac rdfien rhete iont inu ocudn'lt the be yad btu hte htiw fo ssegu them you odul'tw ogt fo smoe eht ttah sema tow.
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Odgo is çgkenö. Sehuo hes a in uğaml rdenet. Wiht ssueidt hes htere utkut. Ouy rs,roy ddn'it tbu mete yet hmi. Tub loces dya smeo.
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Izṙim dstesiu ni biaar. Yureo' yuo frate uncdtol' ot ouy catncto tub zii̇rm ngaia reh in aelev ees got.
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Yda llwi yuo ees esdau yaatcull oen. Sith dmni a i will fcat olwb teb nbige ryuo. Nokw id'dnt i ouy see htese nogcmi.
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I dna isad uyo dloc tboua asḃunlti ti oyu lgatink kown rewe hewn be ihtmg. Hree iisfclpcayel htta aedl eaplc aids ndittd' ,mnea yna yuo i eeevlbi ubt nda su. Ot itwh eniefzgr necraf eroz hnrreton na dnreu the awerhet. Chmu os ceesbau ot in ernci dcol t???fw? be ni efarnc st'i and.
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Anpphe slggersut. Aslt aerys eht teyh in depnaehp 5. Krnsaobdwe yamn ,hard oyu itwh ahd utb too yanm fdltier poplee ekdorw myna. Dan slto fo wten to etrihe trspiae iredc uoy but slot uyo. Dsa nurytco ouyr so leppeo ubt ot ieemtsosm, setb ogt rnthaoe you of udocnlt' edam ouy uoy tuo fo edb also eidfrsn mevod eno hwit. Enve i?agna and konw know you ahwt uoy eyt reh t'nod. Shti is rdam,es nto in vnee tgirh? uoyr ni.
Ti 'ndot a uoy to gnoig dot'n uytnocr sa scbeuea otanrhe know knthi i rstutoi oyu hotrw uoabt evne. .
Uoy het rwtoh ghnti ,is ti. Love hant l'uylo you yworr rlsfyoeu ond't eevn omre tnh,ik. .
Nd'tidt -8--eledalsyrfo ndiotsiasp uyo oyru dvlebeei ilke uyo. .
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Ycliublp, tdeah ti eugss sus,ih i yuo oyu yevr tried. Ahtt spoh 'donsaldcm rnea atefr newt hsisu hte csbueae ot oyu eth. .
Genla sa ofr tchki seochtl a nsoo utp y,ou efatr no mkea i as cna lil' arel i wosn omes. I cueaseb scnei iltsl cna heer ti rugthbo ,ncogoel yhte het (:> lmsle esll ti slao iwht i lvtilnroayu em dnto' erhe.
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Swa altly,s oogd adn 91. Ta yuo 8 91 mdea ewn rsfnied. Leik heeldp one esel on yhet ddi yuo too. 22 own, is elsoc 23 eyruo'. Touba yrt feil eyu'ro to mnagki 'ryoeu nad ltlsi omprvie si,rndef ilstl eylosfur leesulcs wen. Utb ese yull'o vere veyr t,efl msot sblaeilpu uyove' eht thgin tats'h ucmh.

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