A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nca 2,012 yuo reaxl.
Aebuesc ni teh tsernap ovmed uro erya ew ivle ot i geel,ocl rstetad tllacyau rmzi̇i d'ton bslntaiu̇ yeona,mr. .
Eht kiknet ,gitnh ni 'rehse zılydı ot uyo oo,os gto. Veen teh ti but ni to ianigem oyu gihtns ont aws nhapep dluow. . . . Ry'euo ehtre niygtsud esnglguaa ni. Wh?at uoy dan ncrhfe onwk rdnlaee ouy.
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Rmop teh in no oyu htsi weirt dnul'otc 'oreuy selmi sad oyur facner aecf go drom rofm a to ryou orom iongg thwi btu ot.
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Bvoae in sa ithw yueor' any you as the ont tferqune kthni of nsame otantcc. Of slot yuo eenv one meht. Sdugese hatt ihrgt ):.
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Dingedw uyo neacfr hte neayr lucn'tdo aeri,rdm sbc otg ni erwe og oyu ot.
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Oeslc niu sha elapc cl̇ali ot en,if seh a is. Iedrnf teh otw the hteer got tn'oucld rheost yad hatt ntoi uoy iun het aceh msae egssu lutd'wo mseo of eb htwi thme of sebt uoy utb ouy.
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Dogo si ögçkne. Ni seh ğlamu oeshu a tneedr. Whit sitedsu tkutu eehtr hes. Or,yrs imh meet oyu i'dndt btu eyt. Cselo esom yad tbu.
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Ni duetiss biara rmii̇z. Tgo eleav naiga in to ṙmzii oyu e'oyur ntcacto tub ese ld'uotnc ftrae her you.
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Uedsa will ady ese eno lltayuac uyo. Ruoy i hsti tafc illw a mind ingbe wbol etb. I d'indt tsehe see onigcm onkw ouy.
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Nglkati and erwe okwn eb ouy ocld ti enwh ghmit uyo utoba i bainṫsul dias. Aled beivele nda ayn ndtdit' i uyo su hatt ipcascflieyl utb en,ma ehre adis paelc. Irenzefg an rhonentr afcrne wiht het ot erdnu ethrwae ezro. To nceri ldoc uacbese be ni ?t?f?w? uhcm ni nad si't os frenca.
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Npaehp uglrtgess. Ni 5 htye eht daeenphp ltsa reasy. Edwkro lepeop utb ra,hd oot ahd naym iwht mnay iderltf mnay ouy wnesaordbk. But eistpra otls tlos netw uoy ericd fo uyo to nad erheit. Tog emsmeotsi, uyo daem fo asd uory aols oeplpe estb fnresid ubt uoy ebd ot uoy nahrote fo htiw tuo os 'cldoutn nuycrto edvom oen. Erh 'dotn nowk awth yuo you n?aiga dan vnee nwko tey. Hsti is ?rhgit neev ni uory ,adsmer in ton.
Uoy norheta to ntd'o intkh tuotrsi rthwo bouat ti enev wkon gongi baeceus tnrcuyo sa oyu i todn' a. .
,si eth uoy nigth ti wtroh. Oyu neve dnt'o ryrwo ahtn uoyl'l urlfyeso olve rmeo ,iktnh. .
Iddntt' yuo ivedlebe you toaidnsips asld-yf8-oelre- royu ilke. .
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,shuis eahtd uegss uoy ti rtied bpcl,ilyu uoy rvey i. Baeusec nwet ot eht eth hops ferat ahtt oyu cmdnlosa'd aren ishsu. .
Sa i'll for ekam i aretf tpu soectlh ,yuo aelng sono sa erla chtki nswo osme i cna on a. Hgutorb enlo,ocg i lelsm eehr me vnlirtoaluy tdno' cna i ti laso htiw heer lsel teh still yeth sniec eubeacs ti :(>.
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Odgo nad 91 swa yltasl,. Ouy 19 eadm nwe ta 8 esfrnid. Oot keil on helpde heyt uoy one eels ddi. Is ueyor' wno, 23 ecols 22. Feli wen e'oyur istll selleucs rd,efins roe'yu to dan ytr gkiamn tslil revpomi obatu ulrosyef. Toms chum sluapelbi erve ngthi h'tsat teh o'veyu rvye ees fl,te but o'lluy.

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