A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Erlxa can 1220, oyu.
Dmevo yemoanr, cseebua llayuatc ,cllegeo ni eht iṁirz we trtadse erya seprnat tdo'n i unṫsabil to uor eivl. .
Hte sooo, ot h'sere t,ihng gto ııydlz nkkiet uyo ni. Sinthg btu hte ti ludwo swa ni ot ahpepn otn ouy vene mnaigei. . . . Syitdugn ni 'oueyr seunlaagg ehret. Adeelnr wtah? yuo nkow fhnecr adn you.
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Uory ecrafn ecfa go ey'uro ot no sad dmor oomr ni hte to witre uoy mrof a sieml your noggi nc'udolt tub htsi tiwh pmro.
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Equftren any emans sa ni hte 'ruoye ctcntoa hitnk wthi ouy avoeb otn fo as. Mthe ouy eenv one fo stlo. ): rghti gseedus ttha.
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To og arfnce r,ariedm igwnded gto oyu anyre bcs hte oyu ewre 'tlndouc ni.
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A nui seh lal̇ic to ash si olces einf, cpela. Seam be etbs nedrfi oyu smeo ahtt eth tog rthee of streoh yad thiw geuss uoy dow'tul eht utb ntio mteh ouy hace owt eht t'uncodl nui of.
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Ogod si ngöeçk. Hse uoesh umağl nredet in a. Hes ituessd ukttu tihw theer. Eemt you him btu tdi'dn o,rrys ety. Btu ayd lecso meos.
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Tsudsei ̇mrzii in aiabr. Btu fater yuo uyo vleea eru'oy tog octnldu' to agnai see reh tocactn ̇zriim in.
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Yuo lliw neo utlalacy ese asedu yad. Lowb uyro teb ngeib a illw i idmn hsti atfc. I oyu ncmiog 'ndtdi nwok ees teshe.
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Yuo ti anilkgt mtihg dna ownk i ewer be newh btuao uoy adsi liubnṡta clod. Yuo aedl us velbeie ubt caepl isda ailcpflsycei eher atht nma,e dan nya i dt'dnit. To ihwt teh reahtew erund an iengzerf rezo nrthreon crnafe. In to icrne odlc be ni and it's humc w???tf? anefcr sacbeue os.
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Luegsrgst pephan. 5 ltas pphednea eyth aeyrs teh in. But anym oto brenaskowd dhra, myan rtedlfi hda thiw kwedro eoeplp mayn uyo. Deirc lost tnew ietrhe fo olts nad to you pstreai you but. Ubt ebd tebs cnltdo'u hnoraet uot yuor htwi otg uyo fo neo osal lppeeo of os made to oyu dfeinsr tm,iemeoss veodm ads ryuncot uoy. Know hatw uyo and tey ehr nowk aagni? uyo even not'd. Your in nto dsem,ra is ni sthi gt?irh veen.
Ti knith gngio oknw abuto wrtho i ot 'tdon hnaorte uyo toustri you a tond' yuctron sacbeeu as enve. .
It is, ouy het otrwh htnig. T'dno htan velo yfsroeul oly'ul ryrwo yuo eomr eevn ni,kht. .
Oyu tdtn'id you eoref-sdal-ly-8 ruyo ekli vlieedeb iipdnassto. .
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Usegs oyu ui,ssh ryev i it eathd iu,ypllcb derti uyo. Ouy the ot thta spho wnet eht ihssu treaf eanr mdac'nosld ceaebus. .
Aemk ertaf rfo sa sono a on nwos alre i cna tup yuo, leagn sa osme tkihc i cotshel i'll. Sloa ti ndto' escin heer oburhtg ihtw it atlvrnyouil >:( nac hyte sllem slel i euebsac ereh iltsl i n,gcoole em het.
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As,lylt 19 doog was dna. Wen emad 91 yuo 8 ta frisnde. Yteh eno lphede sele oot uyo no ekil did. Yreuo' 32 si 22 wno, ecosl. Nkmiga wen sdnfe,ri oiepmvr nad lsitl oe'ryu uleslces ifle eyrouslf lsilt aobtu ot ueory' yrt. Ghnit oeuyv' tahs't cmuh fel,t eth reve ostm ees tub luylo' reyv alleupsib.

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