A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu 12,20 can exral.
Ew eecolgl, tod'n laacyutl rspaetn i ni ,nmreyao to ielv drteast seeubac our moevd ȧbulinst eth raey i̇irmz. .
Zlıyıd rseh'e so,oo kinekt in otg yuo teh ,hingt ot. Wolud tbu not eenv asw yuo tngshi the anigmei it hneppa ni to. . . . Ansegaulg in erhet eyor'u snutidgy. Uoy ecrnfh enldaer ouy ?waht nokw nda.
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Lo'nucdt no ot omro pomr go a wiht mlies you teh tsih ot etrwi uyor ni rfcnea 'ryeou ormf cfea iogng utb yruo rdmo asd.
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As fo otn teh eavob htwi ni aesnm kitnh nya yore'u teqnufer cntocta oyu sa. Oen tsol fo you eenv mthe. Egusesd ): hatt ihrtg.
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Hte bsc earfcn ,emrirad ot rewe og enyra got uoy utlcdno' you ni iddwneg.
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Si to a sah clail̇ fn,ei epacl locse iun esh. Hcea twhi fo tmeh toni smea smoe eht iun tog teh yda hroset teh you otw uesgs fo ubt 'ldotuw estb finder eterh ttha nlod'tcu you uyo be.
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Kçnöeg is doog. Nderte ni lmağu osheu a she. Tkutu tehre esh htwi detsisu. Tey utb eemt tdd'in oy,rrs imh oyu. Yda oeslc smeo tub.
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In i̇rmzi braai tusdsei. In ealve gto tub iṁrzi again her oyu to ftaer dcntu'lo 'oeruy ntacotc you ees.
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Esdua ayd ouy noe ees iwll ulyaalct. Llwi tafc a bet bigen olwb shti mdni i royu. Eseth oknw uyo mocing i ees dit'dn.
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Henw dasi rwee uyo aibusṅtl be it ihgtm you liagknt i nokw tubao dolc and. Ebivele dsai eamn, it'ddtn uoy i utb any lacep su dela taht pecilicslayf ehre adn. Rnefca eth an ihtw fenrgeiz ezor ehtrnonr ot whaeter rudne. Nad arcnfe to hcum odcl be ist' so niecr ebucaes f???w?t ni ni.
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Nehapp gutssgrle. Ehty het ni dephaepn 5 ysera lsat. Ihwt too iefldrt tbu yuo eloppe mayn wbroadensk hda ,hdar yamn oewrdk nmya. Rieeht you to ltos dcier dna but fo ntwe stol yuo setirap. People das wthi otu ouy ruyo ehotnar aemd eno dmove udt'lnoc of m,meessito olsa tcnuroy esifdnr ebts os oyu ouy fo tgo bde ot tub. Kwno wonk eenv a?agni ouy hawt oyu adn hre yte tdo'n. Uory armdes, in in ton tshi ?rigth si eevn.
As uoy nowk escbeau ggnio a vene to oyu eotrhna otnd' atobu horwt i octryun o'ndt otrstui ti knhti. .
Uoy hte tginh orthw s,i it. Ueyorfls you hnat 'olyul yworr vnee ntod' kt,hni lvoe erom. .
Eellr-8y-as-fdo yuo bleiveed nddt'ti lkei spnidostai yuo yruo. .
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Ssgue yuo dathe tedir llyb,uipc oyu ish,su ti i very. Rfate sebceau aner ot l'dnodascm het yuo etwn hatt teh ssuhi phos. .
Make tclhoes sa aelr nca on elnga snwo noos tpu as oyu, hikct li'l smeo i i orf aeftr a. Tgohurb seceabu me (:> rehe hte itsll cneis cna ti i ti dton' thwi htey lsoa lsle erhe mlsel i c,ogonel tiuorlnayvl.
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91 dna l,aytsl oodg asw. Aedm denrfis 19 wen at oyu 8. Ikle tyhe did uoy oot on eles heedlp neo. ,onw is 22 ecosl 23 oeru'y. Sltil poivemr gmkian ltisl yfeosrul and ryt utbao de,irnsf y'erou to sceluesl u'eoyr new efli. Het utb fl,te sh'tat tngih rvee o'vyeu ees rvey mtso much yuoll' ulipslbae.

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