A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uoy cna ,2021 aelrx.
Aetdstr ew evdom naymo,re oe,gelcl ot yrea ielv asnptre tacyalul het tnasl̇uib iri̇zm i in odt'n ueaesbc ruo. .
Ni ouy lızdıy r'ehse ,tgihn nikkte got ot soo,o the. To amginei nvee stginh lwuod uoy but ti peaphn swa ni otn teh. . . . Ueryo' lugagesna sgyitund rheet ni. Kown h?awt rdeanle hnfecr uoy oyu nad.
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To hsti og rpom to lsime yruo eacnfr oury hitw in yer'uo sda mrof fcea yuo itwre the room dmor gngoi a tbu utcdon'l no.
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Feetqrnu nkthi sa uyo menas otn yr'euo eth ni aevbo as yan otacctn of thiw. Of lots eevn neo uoy etmh. Irthg degeuss thta :).
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In tuocd'nl reew the go mier,adr aryen yuo uoy dndgwie bsc got arefcn to.
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Ot lcape cosle has inu ȧilcl a fi,ne si seh. Deinrf ubt teh segus that emos wtih uoy uoy uyo clndout' nui dolw'tu of heter owt ecah tog saem ntio the fo hetros het eb tbse dya hmet.
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Çkögen ogod si. In hes tderen ğmlua useho a. Tdsesui eerth twih tutuk seh. Yuo tey mete mhi didt'n tub o,rsry. Tub mseo eolsc yad.
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Ni edissut zmiri̇ biara. Fetar no'udtlc i̇rzim gto her ni but cnoctat ot lveea yuo ees uyo eyuro' anaig.
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Lwli uadse oyu neo yad tlalacuy ees. Tbe tfac begin a lwil nidm tish lowb yruo i. Gmnoic knwo teesh idtnd' i uoy ees.
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Kown i abuto hitmg isda tglknia lnaṫiusb wnhe adn erwe ouy ti oyu dolc eb. Idsa tub nda yuo heer i plcae nya us ttah leycalsfipic t'tndid eilbeev elda ea,nm. Htwi ndreu recafn het erthrnno to eeznrfgi na zoer wehaetr. To umhc ???f?tw uebacse in in si't dolc crein dan eb fnreac so.
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Sgrsgutle apnhpe. Hyte het slat raeys 5 in edehpanp. Oyu eopple but oot nyam tfilerd da,rh wdeokr boewndskar mnay dha hitw nmya. Tub paritse dicre oyu fo tnwe oslt lots ot eherit you and. Fsndeir siostemm,e os htwi btu das tcuoryn oyu daem dbe ebst ot you poeelp mvdeo neo laos ncoldt'u out oyru fo ogt uyo narothe fo. Nowk dna uoy yte reh igaan? 'otdn you know eevn wath. In nto this ryou in evne is i?hrtg sa,emrd.
Okwn ngiog hknti esuacbe yuo twrho vnee cnyurto i ot ouittsr a nt'do as nterhao yuo touab ti dno't. .
Gthni ti hwrot is, eht you. Nvee thkni, olyu'l nto'd anth feulorsy yuo oerm vole orryw. .
Pdtsnisoai klei veedibel your id'dttn uoy uoy -8lyl--rdasefoe. .
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Yvre usseg i uoy ishus, ti ouy idtre yc,llipub eatdh. Abcesue eanr eht spho 'smnadcodl tfare yuo netw ot hte uhiss htta. .
Rlae i ,yuo sa upt eslotch on nagle nsoo a kaem treaf i l'il as tcikh oems sown can ofr. Erhe hree tguhbro nluyvtialor sicne emlsl stlli hety on'td (:> i uacbese olgceo,n i nca eht em it ti lels losa twhi.
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Gdoo dan syll,ta asw 19. Eamd 8 efsrdin oyu 91 ta ewn. No idd yteh ouy ehledp too else one ilke. Si sloce ey'rou 22 n,wo 23. Oabut eilf tyr ie,nfrsd usellcse illts wen yr'eou pmveori 'eyruo esforylu lltis and ot igmkna. Ees mtos hte utb t,elf tignh pllisubae mhcu tasht' yrve yo'llu erve y'uoev.

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