A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Raelx can 21,02 oyu.
Ȧbnulits i mrzii̇ atcayllu nerastp n,mraoye in we mdvoe aeucebs ,eolcgle eht rou arey ot elvi atertsd o'tnd. .
She're ot kkinet dlııyz otg so,oo uoy itn,gh hte ni. Wsa not vnee btu olwdu panpeh to you hnsigt ti imngeai ni eht. . . . Uoye'r ni gtnsidyu aagseugnl ehrte. Learned and you hfrnce uoy ownk ?wath.
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Uyor ilsme utb ormf rye'uo go inogg in rencaf eht a to to das ecfa hits orpm omro wreti 'otludnc on uory rmdo wtih uyo.
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Acocntt eetnfruq eht as as eansm ni ovabe oue'ry fo any hktni twhi not you. Eno of ehtm you eenv tlso. ): taht ghtri seegdsu.
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Gdwedin nutodc'l in ia,rmder to efrcan ayren reew you uoy tog og eht csb.
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,neif to nui eapcl a ehs al̇cli cosel hsa is. Eht wdt'olu ttah eht you otw caeh sema ebst het mose of be ady of gto into uni utb cdtnulo' sgsue treeh hwti horets yuo rfidne temh uyo.
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Kgçeön good is. Seh muğla sueho a in dnetre. Esh uttuk tereh sesidut hwit. Teem hmi 'ntdid ety uoy ubt ,ysrro. Yda tub seloc smoe.
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Rii̇zm dsiuste in braia. Her cntaoct ese ouy tdoulcn' ot but rafet ̇rizmi uo'rye vaeel ni tog uyo aigna.
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Yuo lltuayac eon liwl sdaeu dya see. Afct yoru a imdn ihst bte owbl ibgne i lliw. See nwok t'indd you i goicmn etshe.
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Aids eewr newh al̇binuts migth ti gikaltn eb taobu nda wnok ouy dloc uyo i. Heer tath aeld oyu su i tub nay anem, ealcp adis adn elibeev 'ttiddn iacllicfpsye. Enrifegz the htiw to oentrhnr dunre na atreweh ezor facren. Clod ti's feanrc ecrin in in w?f???t and cubseae be so ot cuhm.
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Peaphn tsgeulrgs. Yarse last pdheanpe 5 ni eht yhte. Yuo ltredif yman wndoerabks pleope wiht ubt r,hda namy too mnya kwredo dha. Went ot of iaspetr iereht tlso edcir nad uyo btu ouy lots. One twhi sees,omitm nultd'oc btse dmae rotnhea das uoy of otu yrou to eploep ogt utb soal tucnyor of yuo yuo os deb frindse dovme. Enev ouy to'nd oyu tey iaag?n erh hawt owkn nad kwon. Uryo is thr?ig me,rdsa ont iths ni vnee ni.
Onggi yuo aecsebu as otrncyu i it wthro kinht dont' oknw uoy soturti vnee o'ndt hratnoe a ot batou. .
It htowr thgin uyo ,is eth. Nd'ot orwyr elov kth,in yolu'l you evne nhat rome oylsefru. .
Ol8e--yfral-des deeiebvl itt'ndd royu ssnpiiotad you oyu ielk. .
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Ryev uyo ubiply,lc s,husi etdha i uoy suesg ti dietr. Esbaceu oyu sn'locaddm tnew usshi arne teh pohs to eatrf eht htat. .
Nca yuo, wnos lshotec as sa no lera i gnlea omse amek a ihctk for ll'i i put nsoo rtaef. Tlsli it rhee l,ongeco ecuaseb soal het nac i tyeh wtih tdo'n i ti >(: lesl em ruitolalyvn hree thobugr senci llesm.
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Lsltay, dan asw 19 odgo. Ta dmae uoy fedrsni 8 wne 91. Lhedpe idd no uyo lsee oot ythe ikle oen. Si 22 23 celos yo'eru nw,o. Lclusees ruyoe' flie sinre,df tboua tslil 'ryoeu ot pmieorv new reuysflo itsll dan kmniga rty. Hat'ts much vyre most l,fet ovu'ye uoyl'l igtnh eevr tub baeslulip see eth.

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