A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Xlear you anc 2,201.
Levi iuṡlbatn nraem,oy esabeuc easrtdt entrpas raye ot izmri̇ we i dmoev l,ceegol uor n'odt ni yutllcaa teh. .
To ni ılızdy ,thngi tog oo,so uoy nitkke het hee'rs. Miiaegn tbu asw to ti neve ni ton htgins eht uldow naephp uyo. . . . Diutygsn eoury' glsenguaa etrhe in. Nda rcefhn oyu ?twha ndrleea uyo oknw.
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Lmsei t'dulcon hte itwh uoyr shit efac prmo to ruyo tub a sad uoy fnarce irtew ongig ruye'o go omfr ni to mrdo on ormo.
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Maesn in nttocac vobae sa as rneeuqft nkiht oyu fo royeu' eht whit yna nto. Even ostl fo uyo noe mhet. ): that trghi sugseed.
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To ogt het d,mraire ewre rnaey crfnea octdul'n uyo igedwdn ouy scb go in.
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Fn,ei palce inu to a si has esh ai̇llc lscoe. Nd'ulcot etsb uoy but tmeh oems easm sthero dya oint oyu owt the het eirnfd gto ihtw htat the caeh fo eb of 'lwdtuo guess hrete uni ouy.
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Is odgo öçenkg. In a hes uehso tneedr ğlmua. Hes etidssu hwti heter kuttu. O,rysr but mhi tmee ouy ety ntid'd. Meso coles ayd utb.
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Ni baria tisueds rzi̇mi. Oyu elvae eatfr ogt ot oyu aaign eyuor' ctnotca iirzṁ her ese ni u'onltcd tbu.
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Lwil uaclylat dya uoy oen ees asude. Mndi a ilwl bwol ngbei i ebt ruoy sith tfca. Ees mgionc dndt'i knwo i uoy tehes.
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Eb dan atiklng uoy wkon yuo cldo bliṡtaun were i enwh about thmig ti aisd. That isda eehr su i vbielee uoy d'dtint nay ldae ileiyfccslpa lepca tbu e,anm nad. Eozr tneonrrh teh na rzinefge cafnre teaherw with to rnedu. Lcdo afrcne in eascbeu i'ts ??w?tf? nad in ot be umhc ircen os.
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Gegslrtus penpha. Aslt rsaey eaphndep 5 hyte hte ni. Uoy r,dah tbu htwi nyma baswrdeonk ynma rwoedk oot dha yamn itrefdl lpoeep. Uyo ostl stol ubt ot oyu hieter irecd istpaer of dan nwte. Tuo wtih bset ouy losa aedm fo asd sdeirfn oyu esoemsm,it otudcn'l gto ncrtyou so eno ot noethar oyur epeolp you utb of vomed bed. You erh thwa eyt onwk dnto' g?naai oyu eevn nokw dna. In tno ae,rsmd oury neev t?igrh ni this si.
Ubtao to uocnytr tdn'o a you it ebeucsa know othrw you sa htkin outrtis oingg noahret even d'tno i. .
Uoy trwho ignth het it i,s. Yuo neev uyll'o rsyeoufl love ryowr erom athn don't ni,tkh. .
Vdbielee uyo oyu ouyr dtdn'ti pantsidois e-sdelflr-8ya-o like. .
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Eyvr ouy p,cyiblul iuss,h i ti ehtad essug diret uyo. To d'dnscoaml etwn htat psoh uyo shusi teh tefar uasceeb enar the. .
Nwso lli' smoe kmea ferta eshoctl ,uyo i i sa engal can sa ofr a ktihc onso upt on elar. Ethy lsmle i nseci it cna alunlroyivt lles ogoc,nel heer eth i heer ti em eceuasb hogtrbu tilsl >:( dnt'o wthi saol.
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Ta,ysll and doog 91 wsa. Dsinfer 8 19 nwe ouy eadm ta. Oyu ielk no noe else did ehyt oto ledphe. 22 uyr'oe 23 is ,nwo solce. To oeru'y wen yoer'u feli ryt celeslus aimgkn nad meovipr lslit tills uobta ridsenf, slforyeu. Yull'o smot ryev cumh ever e,lft tthas' the ese ilebulpas 'vouye utb tngih.

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