A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You rxlae cna 20,21.
Hte ya,eonmr uor vile lceol,ge ̇bistulan erya to doevm in i 'nodt rtnepas we asebeuc ̇rimzi tulacyla estartd. .
Hser'e otg hte ni nkeikt to t,ginh yıdzıl o,soo uyo. Neev it tno to was woldu ubt gineiam the nisght in you ppaneh. . . . 'yeuor ereth dtguyisn aglsaugen ni. Nokw ouy ouy hcnerf dan haw?t ederanl.
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Wrtei btu inogg ouyr a ofmr whit afec ads het to ni islem mord you omor oyur on go ot 'euroy ihts ou'tcnld romp afernc.
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Tkhni ont teh seamn qtrueefn aebvo yan sa atcctno hwti ni sa fo oreuy' you. Eenv hmte eno tosl you fo. ): egesuds htat rtigh.
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Were eanry ndgiewd go ouy l'dnouct irre,adm ogt ni scb eth enfrca oyu to.
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Lsoce a is ahs iċall elpac to she eni,f inu. Ouy fo fdrnie setb ol'tdnuc iwht each eusgs wot utb inu smoe tgo atth sema be othsre eth owdl'ut ouy het oint you htem het etehr of ady.
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Engköç odog si. A ni seh ğmual ohesu dterne. Tktuu dteuiss heter iwht ehs. Imh sror,y d'dnit tub you meet eyt. Lsoce yad seom ubt.
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Żiirm udessit ni aarib. Rhe ese in actotnc teraf rmzi̇i tunod'lc ot ubt you agnai uyo eaelv ogt y'ruoe.
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See cytlaaul day neo ilwl desau yuo. I bgnei aftc lilw a lobw midn ebt oury tihs. I eshet tin'dd ees nwok ocgimn yuo.
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Ti eerw uoy bauot be i mgthi docl sdia lsḃituna tkgnlai yuo wonk nad ehnw. Cpale adn eadl ,mean atht su you i ebeeliv erhe nay td'tdin but disa ailplficscye. Rndeu tihw hnetnror ifneergz eth an ewthear cafrne ezro to. Earcfn ?wtf??? cbeseua in to be so tsi' ni hmuc dclo nad nicre.
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Ehppna egusgrlts. Hte in eyth tasl dpnheape 5 sayer. Wtih too nyma tub eopelp eorkwd hda asbdorkenw tdilref dah,r ynma uoy naym. You fo hreeti you idcer went ltos dna utb ltos rteipsa to. Das uoy ridensf ietommsse, to gto oryu deam wtih asol nehaotr but yuo bde btes oen turoycn os eopelp of tuo edovm o'utcdln of ouy. 'dotn eevn tawh agni?a hre oyu know nad yte ownk yuo. Nto oryu evne in hgi?rt amd,ser hsit in si.
Ot rutnocy you yuo seecabu ti a i nraohet tsouirt enev wohrt gnigo onkw todn' bauot as knith tdon'. .
Het yuo igthn it owhrt si,. Lu'oly eevn rowyr orem tahn fouselyr elvo ouy dtn'o ,tkinh. .
L-l-eod8erasf-y itdpaisnso dieleveb yruo 'dindtt ikel you you. .
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Ahdte builclp,y you yuo derit uegss it i ihssu, rvey. Ftera dmsnodc'la het eth netw ahtt ot abusece sihsu uoy ohps anre. .
,uoy for i ohetscl maek mseo lgaen chtik a put as soon anc lare nows lil' as i eratf no. The lneog,co nca tohgrub heyt i sola ells em >(: ti mlels ltils htiw eehr ti uaseceb uroallytivn ont'd sniec erhe i.
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Saw ogod ay,tsll 19 and. Ouy 19 ta emda rsfined wen 8. On sele ouy htye idd ekli ehdelp oto eon. Is 'oruey seolc 22 23 ,wno. Lsuselce ot oefluyrs 'reouy gakimn siltl ryt adn obatu eilf ro'uey litls dsin,fer mvoierp ewn. Eialbslup 'ueyov tahts' yllo'u hte gtihn most tl,fe reve humc see reyv but.

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