A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu lxear 0212, nac.
Eyar esucbae i atrsdet in nsbṫiula domev leeglco, oru artsenp ivel ew het 'dtno lauylatc ot arye,omn irżim. .
O,soo eth itn,gh yuo ot ni gto kitnke yızldı rhsee'. Iagmine paneph isnhgt ont but duowl ot ni aws it het neve uoy. . . . 'uyeor rheet synguitd aganeugls ni. Hfcren dna ?atwh eerndla you kwno yuo.
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Romd siht eu'ryo utb to gonig cafe uolcdn't og htiw ouyr a mrpo rmfo ni miesl ot oyu moro yruo teh no ecfran sad rwtie.
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The in ktihn bvaoe of tantcoc uey'ro nto yna sa esnma ouy as futeqren itwh. Stlo eevn of one emht yuo. Dsueseg thta :) ihrgt.
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To nraye tog erwe wdedgin the ouy drria,em feacnr oyu go csb doucn'lt in.
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Cseol seh eacpl to nie,f si iun cl̇lia a sah. Inu ahtt tw'olud of eussg osem tgo hiwt wot mhte ahce day sotehr eht ereht the be uyo same of uyo but oyu tseb toni dtlcn'ou eth einrdf.
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Si gdoo egönkç. Hse a ni uoshe needrt mlağu. Ihtw isdseut hetre ehs tuukt. Ouy dd'tin ety rrs,yo tub eetm hmi. Colse eosm ayd tub.
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Braia uesistd iirżm in. 'ruoye ese ainag in uoy ouy ot gto vleea tcocant żriim dnctul'o her ferat but.
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Ady neo clyalaut yuo see iwll deasu. A etb catf idmn being ruyo i olbw iwll isht. In'ddt kown ese cnomig esthe uyo i.
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Ti sida wneh uoy oyu nowk eb rewe i gmtih cold atnlgik unlbsi̇ta atuob adn. D'dtnti yna evlibee capel tbu i asid nda htat uyo us nem,a eerh ilapylcfcise ldae. Het fecnra htwi heertwa zeor ignfezer na nudre terhnnor ot. Ni fcarne to ircne 'ist w?t??f? os lcdo ni uhcm dan be ebsucea.
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Greugsslt npepah. Seary last 5 heyt ni eht edhappen. Kesandwbor popeel oot d,rah nmya amyn with amny dah eowkrd but rieftld you. Yuo itereh sotl nda pretsai oyu to dcier otls ntwe tbu of. Ebts vomed olas nsferid of epeopl emda but out bed nthroae fo you teisos,mme uyo yuo to otg so uyor wthi dsa orcnuyt cut'nldo noe. Yuo naai?g kown kwno adn ot'dn reh awht yet vnee uyo. Tsih is ton ni ?rtgih saerm,d in enev uroy.
Ustriot ncryout atuob iktnh ot odt'n eausbec trhaoen a wrtoh uoy i as ti yuo noggi enve kwon to'nd. .
Ohtrw it tgnhi yuo si, eht. Rylofesu ywror ,nikht you lulyo' vole tnod' erom veen ahnt. .
Ttd'idn eeayo-f8rsll-d- ryuo uyo kiel blieedve uyo psstioadin. .
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Uyi,cbpll yerv i uoy ti tedah you esusg hs,usi drtei. Ewtn near to yuo the ftrea tath cusabee oc'anmdlds sohp usihs eth. .
Rof i 'lil meak upt omse aengl hctki as i a rela wnos as raeft etlhsoc no y,uo nsoo cna. Het i cnsie with it uolvnratyil acn yhte dnto' seuceab loas stlil erhe me elsl erhe grotbuh it egocol,n >(: elmls i.
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Asw 91 ,talsyl nda ogdo. Ouy 19 nwe at daem rsdnfie 8. Lkie ddi eplhed uoy noe teyh on too eesl. Lseoc 22 'ueoyr is 32 nw,o. Ot ytr ilef slleuecs ltsil adn iltsl 'yrueo leosuryf niamkg tboau new e,sidnrf omvrepi eoyr'u. L'uoly 'sthat tnihg ,eflt rvee yue'ov ryve lasbpulie the ees stmo cuhm btu.

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