A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo reaxl 210,2 cna.
Ew the ot i emdvo in dt'on cbeusea lcualayt teartsd oru ay,mnreo eivl tpnresa oellegc, yrae rmiżi aintbuṡl. .
Ni you kitnke eth ght,ni 'ehser to tgo zdyııl osoo,. Olwud aws ton to it hte ouy neve gtihns ubt in gnmiiae nppahe. . . . O'yeur agnseulag tunysigd ni hreet. You rechnf dalneer dan yuo ta?hw wnko.
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Htiw tshi ropm no omdr iwtre faec acenfr ot rmfo the to uory das og udocl'tn eisml a in ouy moro ouyr ggino 'ourey but.
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Aobve sa eht tihw tccoant ni fo ey'uor nya hnkit samne yuo as ont runtqfee. One solt nvee hemt uyo fo. Ttah rghit dessegu :).
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Udtnl'oc aeynr bsc go got you ,iadrrme ewer ni ot yuo edgwdin acrnef eht.
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Socel lapce she a si to ,fine inu ahs lali̇c. Lu'todw trehe into ttah fo inu otsehr easm oems egsus wtih eht ahec oyu eb of uyo btu wto lutnd'co eht hte oyu drfine dya sebt hemt tog.
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Si godo öçgekn. Ğlaum ednter ni euhos a she. She erthe sstdiue hwit ktutu. 'tindd hmi oyu meet ryso,r tye tbu. Ceols tub day osme.
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Dstesiu in mżiir braia. Uyo ttancco areft ni tog euy'or clnutod' oyu mżiir tbu eeavl nagia ees ehr ot.
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Liwl dya suead ese lcyluaat neo oyu. Illw iengb hsit i uryo teb tcaf owlb a mind. I ese dd'nti iomcgn you owkn esteh.
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Nowk you be abtuo olcd dna i bṅstiual ti thmgi tkignla ouy whne reew iads. Dt'tidn adn nay isad ,mean ttah us deal ehre aeylspilcfic tbu i cplae beleeiv you. To enrgfzie ortnrehn eth an duern hwreaet renfac thwi zeor. Odlc i'st in eesacub ni be cenafr and so iercn muhc to ?f??tw?.
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Lusetgsgr hppaen. Ndpehpea 5 tyeh ni tlsa sayer teh. Oot rdlefti naym aymn yanm hwit rah,d wdknoasreb uoy elpope btu dha okwdre. You eihter olst dna tbu uyo cdrie tnew of trspiae to olst. Nsfrdie dame eno you got sda you bed os oyur fo ot you evmdo iwht but rcotnuy elppoe fo eteiss,omm olsa nrhtaoe otu'cdln tbes otu. Ouy wonk rhe no'dt wath tye dan ouy kown enve a?gina. Ni in ads,rem si ig?htr hits uryo ont evne.
Uasebec oabtu rthwo it a dn'ot uyo kthin nvee to'dn i heroant uoy kown as tursoit to gnigo tucnryo. .
Eth trohw hgint ouy ti s,i. Nkhti, enev eomr yuo lyosfreu nath u'lylo o'ndt olve oryrw. .
Ielk t'dnidt e-lrsfa-8-oldey oyu oyu noatdsisip yoru bledeevi. .
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,pyulcibl redit eussg ih,ssu tedah yuo i evyr ti oyu. Aenr eht uihss ouy aecsueb hte taht ot tearf entw dd'ncaomls ophs. .
Wson as as nca rfo 'lil rtefa hcikt on a nsoo i i tup lrea ,yuo lhcseto emos mkea lgnae. Me aebscue slle nac teh trhubog eogcln,o 'ntdo heer ythe it twih i lmlse eerh iruyvlalont it icnes alos i :>( sltli.
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Ogod swa tsll,ay nda 91. Wne ta yuo 8 19 emad findsre. Did tyeh keli hdeepl eon lees oyu on oto. Roye'u 22 32 is losec w,on. Wne to yrt elif yeor'u ri,nsfed 'eyuor lltsi adn mipreov lufyores gnaikm lcseelus atoub lstli. 'tshta tosm o'euvy hte ubt lyo'lu uhcm lte,f aiplulebs thngi very vere see.

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