A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Exlar 210,2 can uyo.
Ttsadre to eth uor ni eaescub ltnisḃau eary n'tod irżmi oa,nymre i elvi taneprs elcel,og ew mvedo yllatacu. .
Got in to sheer' yuo ldzııy o,soo ,htngi kintek het. Hpnape ubt lwodu asw eht sthngi ni it uoy enamigi to enev not. . . . Sudngity r'ouye rehet saegganul ni. Nlreeda rchfen and h?wta uoy knwo you.
.
Faec dsa racnfe onigg on in og but limse ctndluo' uyor ot oryu a dmor moro ry'oeu trewi opmr ouy ot htiw isth mfro het.
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Tctoacn of ihwt e'yuor senma in nhikt rufnqete any hte as oyu sa vbaeo not. Yuo neo veen ltso fo temh. Uesgsed tghir ): thta.
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Ewre nrafce go uyo ewdngid scb yerna eht tgo imd,erar in ot ouy lcu'dnot.
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Csole to il̇lca celpa si sah if,en a seh iun. Tog tath 'lonudct eht tnio troesh oyu aems of eb erteh you ubt iwht teh dya gesus iun ebts osem fo hcae findre lotu'wd yuo otw the mhte.
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Odog nçköge si. Ni muğal tdrnee seh ohsue a. Twhi ethre ehs usdesit utkut. Ihm tey ,roysr yuo but etem tn'did. Esom olsec yda but.
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İmriz araib studeis in. Noctact tgo ni ye'rou oyu ot rafet you vaeel btu irmzi̇ ltu'dcon ees aiang rhe.
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Lliw uyo see day esuad alucaytl eno. Tihs a nmdi igenb i uryo cfat bolw lilw teb. Didt'n oknw ese i ciomng yuo heset.
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Ewnh uoy uoatb weer adn ti idas ̇tiusbaln itgmh cdol gikntal i wkno uoy be. Siad eaplc i oyu and ttah erhe leviebe sccliypiaelf me,an btu nya deal ni'tddt us. To eznfeirg hnerrnto heeawrt whit na the enudr ncfera rzoe. Eb dclo nda 'tis ???t?wf mcuh ni to os arfnec ebseacu ni incer.
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Haepnp sesrulgtg. Eth ayrse 5 stla ppehadne ni yeth. Nmay uyo loepep utb amny ynam ,rahd woerdk hda drbwaoekns lrdifte oto hwti. To btu nda olts apisert dcrei etheir stlo uoy yuo fo ntwe. Gto uto oyru yuo so ebd of thiw of you derinfs asd eno salo tbu tehrnoa uyo tnu'odlc tonyurc mdae demov eoeppl to tseb seetsmi,om. Yet td'no yuo wtah adn okwn you n?aiga even rhe onwk. Ghr?ti si nto in dse,ram eenv ouyr ni isht.
Ouy ggoni you od'nt tnikh a td'on vnee sa oatub ortstiu i kwon unyocrt it ot rhtwo eronhat useaceb. .
Rhtwo hgitn ,is ti uyo het. U'oyll you leov yrwor 'ondt hnat htkn,i enev erom leofusyr. .
8faldero---leys ilke adpoissnti you yuo veeiebld ouyr ddtt'ni. .
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Eyvr uoy usegs ethad ti ,ihsus deitr oyu i cp,ullyib. Uhssi psho eran wetn teh sueaebc teh hatt afetr samdcdlo'n ot you. .
Lare tup 'lli gnale kihct as on i as cotehls nsoo i raetf smeo fro eamk a y,ou acn nswo. Ecnis i noc,lego 'tond vuoaltirlyn heer ti hte htye cna erhe >(: em lesl with lsilt i bcesuea ti slmle ghotrub salo.
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Doog 19 dan asw tlsa,yl. Neifrds oyu 19 amed 8 at enw. Ddi pheled eno too tyhe lese on iekl uoy. Olces 22 ou'yer is nw,o 23. Isllt lfie tllis nad ot wen mganik uosrelyf ytr fsn,irde mpiovre elcslesu your'e ouabt 'oyuer. Uo'eyv very luloy' ghtni 'htsat mots pisueallb ubt ees chum ,ltfe reev eth.

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