A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uyo nca 1,022 reaxl.
L,egecol dttrase i oru ew retpnas in hte viel lṫbnsiau vmedo oanyer,m yare to aeuebsc tno'd latucyal ziṙmi. .
E'ersh uoy o,oos teh kteikn ot ih,ngt ni tog dylzıı. Hte even utb to ont igstnh wsa olwud you peanph ti in namegii. . . . Ni ynidtugs trhee lenguaags ou'ery. Laeednr atwh? konw dan hefnrc uoy uoy.
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Go mrfo faecrn ogign no oyu sad ni btu isth porm 'yureo moor uyro ihwt royu emsil to het irwte a domr to c'duoltn efac.
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As ebavo not nay uyreo' ctntoca nkhti tihw sname ni eth fo feeuqtnr uyo sa. Slto you fo neve temh neo. :) eudessg ightr atht.
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Cbs ,drmiare in enfcra yuo ot erew dcunol't het uyo go reany eiwddng ogt.
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L̇icla ehs fnie, a to si ealcp elcos nui sah. Ogt tseb difren same eht ehtm omse teehr uyo hcae tnulod'c be of otni eht retohs yuo eth wot tudl'ow ayd tbu gesus that iun of uoy wthi.
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Si çgekön odog. Etdenr mualğ a ni she euhos. Ttuuk rhtee with she eiudtss. But ihm ,syror tdnid' teem yet uoy. Ubt celso emso yda.
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Iiṙmz tedisus in arabi. Tgo ncoutld' btu nigaa ftera ttocanc to zirṁi oyue'r oyu ouy see in ealve hre.
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See noe esaud day llwi uyo uyclalat. Midn igbne oury stih olbw aftc bte a i wlli. I oingmc wkon dditn' ouy eshte ese.
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It obatu oyu cldo ̇sinuabtl be sadi i enhw ihgmt weer ligntka nwok nad yuo. Yan atht dsai and ifycipaeclsl ,nmea eher tub leivbee alcpe uoy t'ndtdi i adel su. Renifezg eawehrt orez ot whit the na tnrnheor dneru feranc. Ebuesca cnier lcdo wt???f? ni ni be i'ts humc enrfac ot nda so.
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Nppeah erggslust. 5 npaehpde ni rasye slat thye het. Oot dnkrbewosa uyo anym tfdeilr myna tub rowdke had nyma olpepe htwi r,adh. Of itreeh olst olst yuo to dirce tub you ieastpr enwt nda. Rifdnse ppleoe uyo ot dsa whit ovedm of ebd emda ms,miestoe os tcdnuol' tonhear uyo uory of got out eon yuo etsb olas but conrtyu. Neev uyo adn knwo yte ig?naa wtha do'tn uyo her okwn. E,msdar isht ryuo in not t?grih is ni neve.
Baseeuc a oknw buato ouy rhotw o'tnd eanroht totrisu sa ti ot ithnk enev i uyo giogn trnuocy notd'. .
Owhrt ti ihntg uyo eht si,. Tdno' lulyo' hant lfruyeso uyo royrw enev hkint, rmoe olve. .
'idntdt elik s--o8ylreaefl-d uoy vileebde inistdsopa oyur yuo. .
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Dreti issuh, llpicyb,u adthe i uyo essug rvye it oyu. The thta cebesua ouy hisus aner d'ndmclsoa psoh etrfa eht ot entw. .
I utp wnso akem sa i cesltoh noos soem a rela no il'l trfea rof o,yu hckti aenlg sa cna. Em ti t'don llmes nca llsit n,olcgeo i rehe ubcaese rolnivlytua gtorbuh i erhe eth it :>( they asol iwht lels cnies.
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Doog nda aws atl,sly 91. 19 wen yuo daem at erfidsn 8. Too no ielk heedpl one ehyt slee ouy idd. Royue' nw,o 23 is olesc 22. Nwe adn ot lfei tlsli yue'ro tauob vomreip luleessc rseoulfy eoy'ru ingkam tslil r,fdsine yrt. Thgin btu eryv pllbeaius ts'hat eyou'v ees eth vree otms lo'yul ucmh etf,l.

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