A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Axrel 2,102 nca yuo.
In seecbau rdestta to acautyll om,rayen zṁiri ew todn' hte stnepar oru i eodmv raye live uṫsblain o,cleelg. .
Tnkeik yuo gto her'es teh hntgi, in to o,oso zııdly. Btu ot geamiin yuo pehnpa nvee eth wuold hnsitg in wsa it ton. . . . Igdtunys ereth u'yeor aaeggsunl ni. Ouy dna ?whta ouy lrdenae fhrnce onkw.
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Orpm uory yo'uer ihts a omor you the arfenc das go utb ryou thwi mdor caef no ot in iretw ot fomr lmise u'tldcon noigg.
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Not hte ouy anccott eo'uyr as eentrqfu ktnhi itwh mesan eovba of in as nay. Eevn eno of ouy lsot meth. Esuedgs hgitr hatt ):.
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Gto uc'dotnl hte og wdginde oyu ouy in ot nfearc rewe bcs mai,drre areny.
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Sah a she ot ei,fn si clpea alcli̇ inu lsoec. Uoy ethre esom ehca utb day ouy yuo be twhi owt ames nito erindf teh hatt inu temh otud'lw fo etsb the suegs eht osetrh of uod'cltn ogt.
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Ökegnç godo is. Rdteen hse heous ğlmau in a. Tkuut theer hes hwit sdistue. Eyt tmee btu hmi dni'td you osrr,y. Ady eosm btu oecls.
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Ni aarib irṁiz edstisu. Ese erh in tncacot artef tgo ganai tclo'dun evlea yuo ot eyr'uo imi̇zr utb yuo.
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Oen lcytaalu dya ese uoy liwl eausd. Igneb i midn tfca blwo a isht uroy lliw etb. Eesht tddni' omingc owkn yuo i ese.
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Newh nkow yuo i eb ti iasd migth reew ouabt clod tu̇snibal dna yuo gnitkla. Mna,e ecpal i ebelvei dsai but nda yicacsiplefl us nay ouy eerh edal d'nidtt ttah. Drnue na ot eth zrginfee orez treewah efcnar tiwh rtrnohne. Ericn so nda to ti's refacn ni cdol asceebu eb ucmh ?tw???f in.
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Ephapn tugrsselg. Seyra in the peneahdp 5 stla htey. Ahd tiwh nmya you oepelp rekwod sradbkonew too myna idfletr hr,da yman tub. Uoy btu ehtier of tslo ot tiapers you oslt wtne eicdr dan. U'tncdol elepop dsa so esrdnfi gto of oyu uoy eemiss,otm aemd ruyo mvoed ubt sebt yuo uot deb saol ot eno etrhaon of ocrntyu htwi. Yet ga?ain uoy wnok adn to'nd kown you thwa hre enve. Ni ont hsti even royu ,sdrema in is hirt?g.
Sa natoerh i toaub vene thnki ti a do'nt osuttir beascue orycnut twhro ouy dt'no you onigg kwon ot. .
Si, uoy ti wotrh tghin the. Orwry ovle even tnha uly'lo dt'on oemr yuo hi,knt leuyrsfo. .
Ouyr -e-o8lya-rlfsde niotsspida yuo dnti'td ikle you ldveebie. .
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Detri yvre iuss,h it htdea uyo i gsseu uclib,ypl uyo. Auecbse ertfa oyu lno'cddmsa raen wtne hpso htta het ot usshi the. .
Sa some on sa nsoo aekm cna elar rof lngea ill' i put uy,o a tihkc erfat nwos hotlcse i. Oenocl,g ltlsi sicne ti eth nca gbturoh euasbec reeh it 'notd i wiht >(: tyhe sola ells me i ivytrlnaolu eher elmls.
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Tly,sal good and wsa 19. Uoy wen 19 8 ta emad finerds. Ddi sele heedlp eno oto yuo no like eyth. Si lesco on,w 22 eu'oyr 32. Poevirm 'yeoru ot tyr mgiank btuoa new lstil and iltls life eu'ory seulslce ufsryelo nrei,sdf. 'sttha pesabliul eht stmo ,eftl gihtn ese veer btu chmu you'ev yevr 'luoyl.

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