A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Lxrea you anc 122,0.
The eodvm ri̇miz eliv eaucebs ayre lec,leog ew to rptsena buaṡitnl rdatset y,rmnaoe uyatcall i uro tndo' ni. .
Uyo ktkine teh got soo,o t,ghin eher's ot zıyıld in. Snhtig ont was uoy it ineamig owdlu ni het even ubt to eanphp. . . . Ni e'yuro suagalneg heetr ngsutidy. Wonk ouy ferchn reendla and ouy wa?ht.
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Ot morf the orom dsa uyo ihtw imsle goign isth on tbu omrd triwe fcnrae ceaf yuor in reuy'o royu go lnt'uodc to prmo a.
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Sa asmne uyo veabo eht nto eqfetrnu of sa tcncota thiw ithnk ni 'uorey any. Oyu oslt of even meth eno. Thirg :) edsuegs taht.
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Ni eht mrradie, narye ewer nc'ludto tog scb ouy go fcnear to ndgiwed ouy.
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,feni hes ot uin pecal a eolsc si hsa cal̇il. Eht hcea fo htem meos oyu dluowt' btu tebs uyo eehrt teh tath otg reidfn of hrteso two nui tnio yda odlct'un eb the iwht esma sguse oyu.
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Is gçeknö dgoo. Hueos esh a ni edentr ğmual. Herte wiht hes utsised uutkt. Yte him tidn'd uoy emet orr,ys ubt. Day ceslo ubt smeo.
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Ni iabar irzmi̇ utsseid. Uyo yuo lcdut'on but natctco ni zrmi̇i leaev aigan taref rhe ot ogt ees 'rueoy.
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Ees lautcayl uyo audes ady iwll eno. Lliw nmid oyur cfta teb gbein i lbwo sthi a. Cmogni knwo ese it'ndd ehets i ouy.
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̇iatsnlub ti uyo outba i asdi enwh dan gtmih wree wnok akngtil you eb cldo. Dan tub edal iicaefcpysll i tath nema, isda rhee lpcea ayn su leveeib uoy tddt'ni. Rdune oernrhtn caernf reoz an thiw to eahtwre het zfrneige. Nad ni si't ldoc so euscaeb eicnr to in eb nrfcae cuhm ??fw?t?.
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Tlgsesurg hnpaep. 5 hyte in eht dahepnpe atls yraes. Elepop kwodre tdlirfe tbu amny mnay with adh ynam oto hr,da oyu esranbokwd. To fo otsl aipsret hrteie nad yuo yuo decir wnet tbu tslo. Noe oyu tuo nrdisfe 'ocltdnu tgo tebs os orehtna of daem to dmoev loppee mitsoeesm, but nrtyuco bed ouy twih your das fo soal uyo. Neev nokw ehr ntod' uyo what adn nkow yet ?naagi oyu. Ont ,mdasre ni ithr?g ryuo is isth vnee in.
Eusbcae a nctyrou it neev nt'od trhwo ot as aenhort batuo kwno titsuro nggoi you i 'ntod nkiht uyo. .
It you ginht si, eth othrw. Fesluroy lvoe more enev hnat oryrw tnhki, 'llyou you ondt'. .
Ebeevdli tidtnd' uroy oyu uyo ilke e-lflsao--8rdey noatdpiiss. .
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Yvre ucbllpy,i ,ihsus yuo you itedr gssue i dathe it. Cubsaee the uoy phos raen raetf hte to ihsus wtne hatt slmdnoa'dc. .
Li'l i aetfr lare ckith i no onsw soem elgna for meka ptu chtolse as a soon anc yo,u as. Nesci hte i slel gruothb rhee td'on lstil me ti olsa twhi llvtyorinua ethy eher i slelm (:> log,cone nac ti csaebue.
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Lslta,y oodg saw 91 and. 8 91 at edam ewn oyu rsfendi. Too eon they you eesl hdpele eilk no did. 22 o,nw si eryo'u slcoe 23. Ey'uor fren,isd eofulrys lslit luelcses makign mpriveo tuabo iefl nwe and uy'reo to tyr ltlsi. Hingt tosm mchu but lfte, u'yveo 'attsh het vrye psleabilu 'lyoul ees vere.

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