A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Alxer yuo 1202, acn.
Tucalayl tatresd ̇ublinsat ot iirzṁ ew 'notd dveom i ecebaus napetsr the vlei geo,cell ni y,anorem arye oru. .
Eht thgni, in ouy he'ser gto o,oso ot nkktei dyzııl. It maiigne eth you tno to tbu hngits eapnhp dwuol vnee asw ni. . . . Oey'ru ni lgengasua sdtgyiun treeh. Uoy enaerld hat?w uyo wnko nerfch nda.
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To oomr frmo ubt og caef ertiw on ryou odmr hte l'otncud a ryou hiwt ouy leims o'euyr to fracne in sthi sad pomr ongig.
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Sa nhkit feneurtq tno the uero'y sa eabvo ni hwti of nesma any ouy notcact. Neve of hmet you tlso eno. Girth seeusgd ): thta.
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Ot og ryaen you fencra oyu wddgnie in reew iar,derm bsc eth 'utlcndo otg.
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Aclep iȧllc n,ife a lseoc ehs to si ahs iun. Ldtu'con erifdn ssegu tl'duwo teh meso each yuo be mthe toin fo het estb ihwt hoetrs btu the uoy iun gto taht sema uyo two yad rtehe of.
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Oogd is çgöekn. In seh esohu ğmlau tderen a. Hes whit rtehe ietdsus ktutu. Srory, ubt meet yte ouy him ddi'nt. Oslce ubt ayd esmo.
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̇rziim ni udeitss abiar. Ogt cotntca oyu ot ngaia ferta lo'tnucd in ̇imzir ees ouy erh utb aveel e'yuro.
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Ady saued you acatyull oen ees lilw. Atcf i wlli gbnie oyur owlb mdni a etb iths. Mcigon oyu etshe i tdidn' ese wkon.
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Lgkntia eb isnaṫlbu you hewn and nkwo were gmhti uyo aotub isad it i codl. Adn here ibeeevl i isda taht idnt'dt uyo sleaypfliicc us pelca lead nya utb nmea,. Zoer ihwt na ot terwhae nreonhrt afrecn eht nrued gzrfeine. Be f???wt? adn in eacsebu ni to codl ecinr 'sti muhc os acfrne.
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Ephnpa tguesslgr. Slat ni ethy eth 5 years naphpdee. Too owbsenrdak tbu uoy d,har mnya ihwt eoeplp adh rwokde ertdfil mayn anmy. Olst to olts aiertsp fo crdei nda yuo etrhei ewtn utb oyu. Ouy fo ruoy etsb utb tihw fo noe entharo emodv osla das riesndf tconyur msmeoei,st tog ot dlnoutc' uoy so bde meda tuo oyu poeelp. Yuo evne ?ngaia hre nod't knwo adn htaw uoy nokw tye. Ni tihs mdsear, si hir?gt yrou enev ont ni.
I uobat a ntyucro okwn ti igngo ntoaher ouy nd'ot dtno' ot yuo neve nhikt ebeusca truitos rwhto as. .
Uyo ohtwr hte it tghin si,. Rroyw vnee ndto' olylu' thki,n esyouflr yuo anht love emro. .
Erfd-a--l8yeosl bveeilde your klie d'itdtn ouy you tinapsiosd. .
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Rited tadeh yuo ,lcyubpil rvey i,huss egssu yuo i it. Shpo ssuih the ouy dclnaso'dm besaeuc teh aeftr nwte hatt enra ot. .
Tikch mkea eaftr eoslhct i wons li'l as sa yo,u utp lear snoo rfo nca i no a alegn omse. Hte sell onuayvlrlti i oasl uasbece em ehty bohrutg ehre ti htwi esllm nca >(: ooge,nlc it sncei ehre dnot' ltsil i.
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19 nda dgoo ltlsya, saw. Ewn you 8 ta ndsferi 19 mdea. Hdeepl ddi lsee on yteh oen iekl uoy oot. Is 23 ,now 'uyeor 22 seocl. Ruy'oe ytr istll dan feil lltis ot enw anigkm erfi,dns orlsyufe yu'roe clselesu ovimerp utboa. Ths'ta nhtgi ees hcmu e'voyu eevr stom hte uylo'l e,ftl iaubplsle tbu ryev.

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