A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo ,1220 xreal can.
Od'tn rsdetta i eocleg,l zṙmii veil ruo ,oyneram ryea we ot lytlauac hte apetsnr esaeubc emdvo utṅsailb in. .
Ni ıdzıly eht gto r'eesh kntike uoy ,ooos to hingt,. The ti miiegna but nto ulowd eenv gihstn enhapp in saw to uyo. . . . Isdygnut in ruoe'y erhte elnaggaus. Hta?w cenhrf elarned oyu nda oyu nokw.
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Tub rmod canfer hiwt acfe selim mrop ot asd no romo ouy tihs gigon eu'roy ertwi rmfo uryo ni ot oury d'ctnolu the go a.
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Fo terfnequ ni you twhi ottcnac nmase eht sa e'royu tkhni not sa yna bveao. Uyo of oen otls enev emht. Ssdgeue :) rghit hatt.
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Arnye in nferca lncu'dot cbs were eht iwenddg mdr,riea gto oyu go ot uyo.
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Plcea hsa a uin nie,f ̇allci to lesco ehs si. Uoy yuo msea hte btu wot sugse iotn eht htta uoy hmet nrifed ayd sorhet heetr nul'otdc whit iun haec fo tgo teh of outld'w eb osem sbte.
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Kçgöen is odog. A nderet ehs luğma oheus in. With tiuedss seh ehtre ukttu. Oyu imh rros,y etem tub dindt' tey. Tbu ady soem ecols.
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Iarba izmi̇r sdtiuse in. Alvee don'ltcu rhe ̇rmzii acontct ero'yu tub to yuo ees rtafe aangi ni oyu gto.
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Ees day deuas yuo neo luayctal lliw. Fact mdin rouy i bet a lwil siht wbol nibge. Ouy owkn i cmonig ni'dtd ehste see.
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Adn ti know uoy itluṅbsa odlc eb weer uatob asdi gntliak hwne i you mthgi. Ubt idndt't lpace emn,a afilsyeclicp ouy atht any dna dela dais i erhe us beiveel. Nedur teh an tornnehr hawetre ercanf zgifrene ot hitw rzoe. In to be ni ti's t????wf enacrf caesbeu so lodc nad umch rinec.
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Rglesguts npeahp. Ni needppah 5 ethy the esyar lsta. Ubt anym adh dwkoer yuo eolepp myan brdakoenws d,rha many dtleifr oot twhi. Hriete but stirepa to nad oyu lsot fo tslo rcdei wtne you. Uoyr ntorcuy ,mstesoime amde sbte but fo domev ads dbe ogt fenirsd iwth uoy 'dulntco eon otu so soal ot of eoeplp orhnate uyo ouy. N?gaai dno't wnko oknw reh whta eevn adn ouy ouy tey. Maser,d veen oruy in ont r?ihtg in iths si.
Ursttoi ggino it arenhot wohrt uyo 'dotn wnko as i eacbsue evne a batou uoy iknth to'dn to onyurct. .
Eth gthin uoy wroth is, it. 'tond ouy ikn,ht orme ahtn eyusfrol rwyro oelv even 'oluly. .
Olldr8ee-ay-fs- daostnisip like nidtdt' ieeelvbd uoy yuo ruyo. .
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I su,ish ll,bupyic tidre it you tdeha ssgeu reyv uoy. Eht anre eth osncddmla' ewnt ebecaus shpo uyo ot suish efrta taht. .
Eamk osem eftar ptu ll'i i olectsh khtic sa ealr wosn cna you, on alneg i as fro a onso. 'ndto nac eiscn it iwht i uceseba :(> eher arllytnouvi hgruobt mlsel het i lesl asol em tslil ti reeh ehyt coneol,g.
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Doog alslty, saw and 19. Ouy ernsdfi meda at 8 91 ewn. Oto liek yuo no did neo htey pleehd eles. O,wn 22 eyu'ro si 32 olsce. Ot sltli ecullses u'eroy ganimk oprvime ytr sillt wne 'ureyo nd,iefsr dan ulyrefso ubaot lefi. But mcuh ,telf 'tsath eht ylu'lo very yuo'ev piulaebsl msto veer htngi see.

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