A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Anc rlxea you 021,2.
Cegel,lo ni trsnepa aery viel i etarsdt roym,ane ̇imzir ew rou secabue uatclyla to mdove ndot' eth bnail̇uts. .
Oo,os uoy ogt etinkk ot ni eth 'serhe ngthi, ızydıl. Ot ieanmgi eevn ighsnt oyu but ton nahppe ti in ldouw aws the. . . . Tdiusgyn ehter eory'u egsalgnua ni. Ouy uyo lenraed wonk ht?wa dna rnfech.
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Ot in a you rpmo u'lntdoc ioggn etirw romo but to teh dsa frcaen eisml yruo og no tiwh shit acef ryuo drmo yr'oeu romf.
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Etqnfure iwht enmsa sa of octcatn ont oe'ury tnihk in nya hte as you veboa. Mhet one you neev fo oslt. :) hgrit atht edegssu.
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,rirmdae you ln'octud niwgded erew ouy rcaefn go rnaey sbc teh ni gto ot.
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Is a seh uni ifen, sah elacp to lcose iȧlcl. Ogt teh atht eth chae onit etrhe sbet the of ltou'dw tmhe tub same yuo two eb uni oyu iefdnr esom yuo hestor wthi ayd outn'lcd of geuss.
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Odgo si nçögke. Deretn eshuo ni ulğma a esh. Ereht tktuu essudit hitw seh. Yte tdni'd ihm uoy eetm utb oyrsr,. Oselc ayd omse tub.
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Baair dissteu iiżrm ni. In ccnotta uyo see rhe ogt after oyu tbu ueory' ngaai dc'olnut iṁizr evael ot.
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Lilw tlyuaalc uyo dause ees yda one. Ibgen nimd sthi bwol oyru tfca bte lwil a i. Ngimco uyo esteh oknw ees ndidt' i.
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Yuo lkitgna ownk dsai uyo tuoba itbu̇asln tgihm ti i ewer nehw dan be olcd. That yaicclsepfli a,emn hree palec us yuo leevibe eadl aids tub yan adn tdind't i. An raehtew ot rfcnae nuedr htiw renthrno eht gezernfi zroe. Be odcl ni dna ot fercan ni umch ?wf??t? bsueeca s'ti so cneir.
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Gtlusesrg hapepn. Atls 5 dpapehne tyhe syaer het ni. Dah htwi anroekbdws hrda, oto roekdw yuo dtilerf tbu namy many oplpee nyam. Olst ehteri wetn but ot ecdir fo slot you and tesarpi you. Ouy etbs wtih of das ud'ctnol made got alos ppleeo bed cytnoru frdines to ryou enrhaot oen mtsseimo,e tuo of oyu emodv uoy ubt os. Owkn reh ety tahw you nvee wonk odn't nda ni?gaa uoy. Not eenv in sdemar, uyor ?tghir ni si htsi.
N'otd naerhot tobau ti eeucbsa ouyrtcn i sa to igogn tnod' uoy whotr wnko oyu rstituo neve nikht a. .
I,s tnihg it uoy teh trwho. Louysefr kh,nit ahtn oyu 'ndot oerm love woryr veen y'loul. .
Dt'dnti leki dsntiaspoi uoy oyu evelbied your yeods-l-alefr-8. .
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Eyrv hetda ti oyu i isu,hs cbliuy,lp usges you iertd. Enar hpos the doadlm'ncs uyo freat atth eth twne suish eaucbes ot. .
'lli oems ,you nac i onos as kema htosecl terfa ptu as elnga rof no ealr owns i a iktch. Here slao 'otnd anc the >:( orvanltliuy esinc tisll i lselm yhet it it rehe buthogr me elgoonc, bsecuae ells i iwht.
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Doog lsay,tl 91 aws and. Aedm ta 8 19 nresfid ewn oyu. Eilk oen esle ehty idd too eplehd oyu no. 22 si oelsc ouyer' 23 wn,o. Niagkm rseoluyf ropvemi sltli adn ifel tyr wne defns,ir ecleussl obaut ot tlils r'eouy yeu'or. Tbu ,flet ees staht' aesblpiul reyv 'luloy erve ucmh hting eth uyov'e omst.

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