A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

212,0 nac arlex ouy.
'ndot i seeubca nasti̇lbu ew eth vlie zmri̇i ,eryaonm oecllge, renpast trtdeas rou in emdov ayer ot llcaytua. .
In oyu tog ızdlyı ehser' teh enitkk to ooos, h,tnig. Ludow iegnaim tbu paephn ton oyu to vene itgnsh the ti in saw. . . . Terhe u'reoy in lguasngae yudnsgti. Dnrleea athw? wkno hcenrf uoy nad uoy.
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Hist goign ritwe e'oryu ryuo a og rmfo ubt hte rodm feac no sad to ot ni lcuotd'n pmro uoy smlie afrecn omro ihwt uoyr.
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In tnkhi eeqrftun of you eht cctnato baoev as nmesa yo'eur wthi as ton any. Ltos fo neo uyo mteh vnee. ): eudessg rhtig hatt.
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Uoy bcs eingwdd n'udlcto the in tog driar,me og afcner ot oyu nerya ewer.
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Seh olsce a ahs is epcal en,if ot uni ai̇lcl. Mhet gsseu yda of otdu'lw tesb uyo eahc ttah emas eht you rsteoh infder theer tub hte be yuo gto ctdoul'n of oint esom htwi nui two teh.
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Doog is ngöeçk. Ğluma etdren seh ni ohues a. Sdsetui ktuut twhi terhe hes. Oyu emet ubt him ety osry,r iddtn'. Ubt moes loesc yda.
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Baair in rizi̇m tsuised. Lcdn'otu ot frtae rhe oyu mi̇riz velae tnotacc you giaan ees ry'euo in otg ubt.
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Ees eausd eno ayd yuo ilwl aylucalt. I ilwl royu igbne wbol a ndmi htsi tbe ftca. Etehs you i wokn see dn'tdi iogcmn.
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Whne wkon ti dna kantgil hmgti botua uoy uatl̇snbi eb sida uoy rewe dlco i. Su i veieelb rhee lepca a,mne elda utb ayn isellcafycip dtdit'n thta dna dsia yuo. Aerhwet zengfrei hwit cnfear nrude hte rnnoerht na reoz ot. Eb eucsabe 'its ni ??t?w?f ni dna dcol rcfaen so to mhuc ncier.
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Sgergstlu aphpne. Slat asery ppndehae yhet in 5 the. Woderk ftdiler oyu had oleepp kbodrswane oot wtih naym nyma ha,rd but nyam. Lost ehtrie dceir dan fo etairsp to ntew but tosl yuo oyu. Uyo dema dbe to iwth laso ou'ndlct gto you yuor uto fo thranoe eloepp srdfien ubt das noe fo stbe imssme,toe os uoy nryctou evmdo. Eyt atwh yuo gaa?in 'odnt vnee dan wnko knwo reh uoy. Erd,msa your ton hits right? neev in si ni.
Nowk hinkt a nigog bucesea ti yuroctn atobu 'dont as i hoernat rottisu uyo ot dtno' uoy hwtro evne. .
,si yuo gntih tohrw hte ti. Yo'ull loev nath hit,kn yrwro rufslyeo td'no omer enve uyo. .
Adtnisposi ikle flrosle8-dey--a oyu t'tindd ivbledee yruo uyo. .
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Luci,bypl i vrye aethd egssu ss,uhi you ti uyo rdtie. To you co'ndldsam ertfa ushis teh abueesc aenr hsop htta teh wten. .
Uoy, as a no naelg onso fro i taref omes htkci sa anc 'ill i eltshoc aelr put ekma wson. Lsel asuebec it uhtrgbo acn ithw it eher eht em t'dno asol lsitl coolegn, teyh since i iuolraltnvy sellm i erhe >:(.
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Dogo 19 swa dna tlsa,ly. Ouy at 19 8 new daem rfisned. Oot on ehyt did uoy elik sele eon dhlpee. R'euoy 22 n,ow si 32 esolc. Adn leuscsel tyr wen illts kmagin yure'o ot tabuo itlls usofryel oeru'y ,isdrfen elfi prvmeio. Elf,t sttah' rvye stmo btu hucm ithng erev y'lluo euvoy' see ipllsueab eht.

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