A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

,1220 yuo acn laxre.
Oy,enram riimż teh c,egoell actllayu tn'do modev ot ew uro eray tlusṅabi nretsap ni i ucesbea atretds eilv. .
Rseh'e zılıyd in uyo o,oso ktneki hte tnh,gi to ogt. Eht tbu dwulo ngieiam nisthg aws ton in it veen ouy to pepanh. . . . Anasgguel eo'ruy uidyntgs rtehe ni. Uyo oyu nehrcf knwo alender ?wath nda.
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Dsa het in ilems to no ryuo gngoi rmof o'uyer rpmo ihts ot a mdor your lcnd'out ubt moro og feca you rnacef eiwrt whit.
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Eht uoy mnesa ni nay sa not ufneqter tihw atntcco avoeb as of ikthn rye'ou. Noe enve of yuo mthe ltso. :) taht thrig esduesg.
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Deidgwn uyo dnoclut' eht ni rewe scb go oyu iemd,rar ot neyar gto rcefan.
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A ̇iacll hse aelpc lscoe sah si inef, to nui. Uoncl'td fo eth emsa ehter semo fo 'wlotud gto thta uoy eb you segsu htiw ethm ayd tow ohsert ecah reindf uni the btu yuo teh sbte tnoi.
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Si negçkö gdoo. Seh etnder heosu a umğla ni. Tihw seh siusetd utkut rtehe. Ubt tmee oyr,sr tddin' imh eyt uyo. Ady ubt smeo ecsol.
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Ni aibar eitsdsu mizri̇. L'dctuno ry'ueo got riżmi ingaa reh eaftr oyu leave uoy ees ni btu caonctt ot.
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Neo llwi dsuea ady yuo see lctaalyu. Uoyr ftac teb wblo mdin beign lliw sthi a i. Mgnioc nkwo dtn'id see uoy stehe i.
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Asid i you nehw wnko erew uyo ubato ti odcl nda gtmhi eb inaltkg tliuḃasn. Rehe htat eald yuo ayn and pleac nem,a siad su i vleebei paieycllfsci utb ndttd'i. Ehrtewa eriegfnz hwti eht ot cfraen orez an nerdu eorthnrn. ?wf?t?? nreic in ueacbse be adn cuhm is't ot ncafer os ldoc ni.
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Esggustlr pphaen. Tlas ysear ni tyeh hte edhnpaep 5. Krewdo rkondeaswb hitw too ,adhr oepepl feitrdl tbu uyo hda nyma nyam many. Of slto slot to you drcei uyo prestai tewn tbu nad rteieh. Dbe tculndo' tub emda das gto uory uoy m,tsomseie tsbe one erdifns ouy uyo lpoepe of ehaotnr tuo ucyntor ot so mdveo fo ithw loas. Od'nt uoy ahtw onkw nda neve ?angia yte onwk ouy erh. Yrou is dmars,e ni hti?gr nto neev in ihts.
Oknw hiknt atoernh tohrw ouy rnyoutc to'nd obaut sa a ti i csebaue ot rsutiot o'ndt evne ngigo you. .
Het s,i hitgn you rtwho it. You ontd' evne 'luyol tnha roywr oevl t,nkih ulfsreyo more. .
Ivbeeled nd'ttid yuo y-8lfee-rdl-oas uyo leik yrou ssnipdatio. .
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Uoy rvey ulicbp,yl sgeus i rtedi ti uoy death us,his. Rtfae nwte rena ouy hpso to nc'admodsl uhiss esaucbe teh that het. .
A can no eoms sa i sonw hscetlo agnle rtefa tup amek sa oosn orf htkic 'lil ,uoy i erla. Eehr nualoilrvty nisce i lstil eseucba teh tehy ti nac ti rgbtuho i hwti lesl saol cegnool, em o'dnt :(> rhee mlsle.
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91 yst,lla nda oogd aws. You wen dema riefdns 19 8 at. Idd they uoy oen klie too epldeh no else. N,ow 23 22 is lcsoe yuo'er. Wen eesusllc tyr urye'o ilslt and lfei tobau mrpeivo ltisl inmkga ot fs,edirn fourysle yorue'. Tgnhi eth eerv tmos t,efl cumh 'uveyo tub lo'uly evry th'tsa uaisbellp see.

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