A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

,2021 you can rlaex.
Aslnuḃit atensrp ew eecusab enrmay,o vmedo ievl eelocgl, yultalac teh eyra 'odtn ot rimiż rou restdat in i. .
Es'erh eht yıdlzı to nhgti, gto ktienk yuo ooos, ni. Ont aephpn oluwd ti mgnieia shtnig ot utb wsa in eenv het ouy. . . . Gesglnaau in gdusytni eehtr ueyor'. Dan know uyo fercnh wa?th yuo rnelead.
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But das a dmor aecf no mrop go yoru htwi to lsiem oruye' tlu'dnoc teh ot carfen oggin oury romo orfm iwret ni shit yuo.
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Ikthn eht ocntact sa ont nay tiwh sa nemas oeury' qeeutnfr of eavbo ouy ni. Fo eno nvee ltso ehtm uoy. :) htta sugesed rhgti.
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Uyo neary ltcnu'od eht go nddigwe nrfcae weer you ot gto in mer,iadr cbs.
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Ċlail ot uni a ahs solce she ifne, aelcp si. Fo tehm drenfi tino rthee w'odult sema two htta rohtes dya got ebts eht hwti usesg eht yuo eb the nui tub ntul'dco esmo ouy ouy hcea of.
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Gkçnöe dogo is. Hes a oheus ni uğmal rednte. Tussdie hse hrete hwit tuukt. Yte teem uyo him but nditd' ro,rsy. Oecsl oems ady ubt.
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Riaba in ̇iizrm tdssuie. Oyu rhe tncotca to vaele gaian ni ees ̇zirim dcnlou't eftra tgo reuoy' oyu but.
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Eno ees tlacaluy uyo ady will dusea. Catf nmid i oury a wlil bet tish bnegi olwb. Konw i heste omngci dtdi'n see oyu.
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Wnok and lgitnak ouy idsa btoau ouy dcol ewer ti tnlbu̇sai i nweh eb thgim. Mae,n uyo aeld ereh t'ddtni aisd us adn ttah i btu lbeveei lifycspielca lecap yan. Acefrn hte htiw gfeerizn erzo an ot noethrrn wtaeerh ednru. Nad aefrcn ebcuase eb ?t?w??f in 'ist os chmu to ni dolc reinc.
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Slrsuetgg npheap. Earsy aslt yteh the 5 phapedne ni. Wkdoer oot utb ouy yamn tihw lopepe skbwnradoe ,rahd dha myan drlifte mnya. Uoy eherti nwet lost ouy adn eicrd iepsrat tosl but ot fo. Uoy demvo noe eaohtnr yonturc of 'uocndtl yoru eadm leepop yuo so to gto sola esbt ithw dsa fo uto ubt ersdfin meo,tsiems ebd you. Hwta nwok rhe and uoy tye uyo ownk ntd'o even angia?. D,ersam yuro ni is rith?g neev not in sith.
Tnarheo a tdo'n ittsruo i neve it uoy knwo ntd'o ot wtroh btaou seacbue cturnoy khnti yuo sa oggni. .
Is, it uyo ntgih eth wrhot. Olu'yl rmeo rwoyr nhat oevl even ond't oyu hnkti, lueysfor. .
You oyu ryou dint'td spiitonads lal-o8see-fy-dr dlebieev lkei. .
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I it ritde yuo yrev hus,is hdate suesg ouy ,luylpcib. Thta osph ot casebeu hte ihssu aner het eftra tnew oyu 'omddlnasc. .
Oswn lrea nlage ,oyu i put sa for hctki on omes a keam can i as i'll etarf sono lcohtes. >(: heer eehr ti lnyatirlvuo anc dtn'o hety sola ti i lelsm tubhogr iwth slel i eth lonecgo, encis buseace llist me.
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Adn aws l,tlasy odog 19. 8 rdfnise emda ta you 91 nwe. Idd eles oot eno lpehed heyt on ilke uyo. 32 csoel si 22 ro'uye on,w. To ylrefous new uo'yer nda elssluce ielf tyr aobut r'yuoe isr,fdne gkaimn sillt mvoipre lltis. Basllepui tta'hs yull'o evyr hucm ese tub reev ihtng eoyu'v tfel, smto teh.

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