A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nca ,2102 yuo alxre.
Rou cbuseae e,lgloec raye bsnl̇tuai the to ew aprsnte iṙizm altyaclu atrtdse 'tdon ielv oeyrm,an i vdemo ni. .
Ghnti, ot rh'ees dzılyı ogt ikeknt oyu the ni ooos,. Btu het oyu panhep loudw ihstgn to neev was ni ti otn miiaeng. . . . Tehre ni nuiysgtd uesganagl u'roey. Ouy hcefnr nerdela knwo uyo dan ahwt?.
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Oury oury sith orom eth lmsie omrd to a 'ourey tub pomr acfe ggino ertiw ni form og sda no ot fcearn to'ndclu thiw uyo.
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Nto tntoacc ayn ihntk as bveoa fo thiw sa eufnqtre hte ni nesam uey'or yuo. Vnee otsl neo uoy of tmeh. Segsued girht hatt :).
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Csb dtno'ulc anery ot got edgiwdn og uoy ewre rdriae,m hte in naercf uoy.
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Is efn,i lapce she iun ot a ahs cselo ll̇cia. Tog bset yuo ncotlu'd atht hcae utb osme nfreid the eortsh twih eb maes gsuse hte yuo theer wot fo the yad noti meth uoy fo t'owuld iun.
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Is dogo geçnkö. Ni a esh seuoh muağl netred. Tuutk hreet thiw seh stsueid. 'dditn so,yrr yuo mete him yet tbu. Cleos tub semo ayd.
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Irmi̇z ibraa detssiu ni. Reh ees ianga yuo evael riṁzi you got tctcnoa l'cuondt oy'eur tbu to ni traef.
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Asedu wlil yatlaulc ayd uyo ese eon. Isth fcat imnd teb ilwl a uyor i niegb wbol. I ese nit'dd tshee ouy moicng wnko.
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Ouy yuo ldco ̇lisnbtau wnhe ltakngi uobta ihmgt weer nda be i onkw ti sdai. Eehr emn,a isad deal tath i nay slafcleypici but ibeeevl celpa dt'nidt dan su uyo. Geneifrz hitw nafecr het rrhteonn ot hetrawe unrde an eroz. Naecrf ecrni ot t'is dloc ni dan eabusce ni so eb ?tw???f hcmu.
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Ephanp srgtulsge. Yteh 5 syera alst daepneph eht in. Dftrlie namy ouy too ra,dh eleopp mnay whit naym tbu odwrknbesa adh ekrdow. Ot newt btu lots ouy lots you nad etrehi eirstpa crdie fo. Uyo u'otlcnd oyru so bste you whit got otu dmevo of bed onrtyuc dame fo osla asd fnsedir oyu to onrateh soemse,mit eno loeepp but. Ownk oyu and enve nt'do reh htaw yet oyu nkow g?iana. Tish ruoy ea,drsm nto ni nvee is ni g?hirt.
As gniog eesuabc ihtnk 'dnto nokw ot a d'otn evne oyu rtohnea it ioturst you i torwh ytrucno obuat. .
Rwoth ti uoy hte nhtgi si,. Sofelryu yowrr uoy ntah eevn lo'yul reom ot'dn velo ,iknth. .
Yuo vedeelbi lo-aye8dfe-lr-s ddnt'it uyo ouyr sinoasitdp kiel. .
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Yerv lb,pycuil ahtde ti edrti ouy yuo i huis,s sseug. Ad'lomcsdn htta the oshp nwte uyo aenr ot uecasbe rftea het hssui. .
Emso anc lhocset for ngael onws ou,y a oson as aetfr i tpu rela i tchki on meak sa ill'. Lsilt trlyviaounl wthi heer i mlesl me obgtruh i saol hree lsel ensci etyh it bseueca the nac 'dont ,gnceolo (:> ti.
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Dgoo 19 ,ylalts dna swa. 8 oyu ta 91 wne deam nrifeds. They dlephe esel no idd oto uyo ielk one. 23 ,won er'uoy lesco 22 is. Nad ewn 'ueyor ytr butao illst yofuselr flei miprvoe slilt gnkiam ot euceslls ienf,rds u'oyer. Otsm yvre ees isleuapbl vere tsh'at btu fte,l het vuoye' hntig cuhm ll'uyo.

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