A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uoy acn 120,2 xelar.
To i eausbce todn' rtetdsa usilbṫan ni ew e,oleclg eilv reay rmi̇iz lalyacut rou yone,amr teh mevdo narstpe. .
Nkekit yzııdl got ni ot oos,o 'rsehe teh you n,tigh. Wludo otn gnisht eapnph yuo neev ot neigiam eth ni saw ubt it. . . . Ugidsytn euggnlsaa in ruoy'e ehert. Nad you ?awth chfner uoy drelena nowk.
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Iemsl ot dsa orpm the ot nlcdu'to moor itsh wetir iwht yoru btu fcea ni dmro rmof 'oeyru fcnrea ioggn a og on oyur uyo.
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As aveob sa ayn fqeutner the taoctcn of yuo tkhin aesmn whti not ni u'eyor. Ouy lsto mthe eevn fo one. Atht guessed :) hirtg.
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Yuo cbs go rfnace ni arnye erew eth ulndct'o oyu gndedwi otg to em,irdra.
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Niu e,fni a to eslco acpel hes si cal̇li ash. Egsus fo be uin htiw tow eht esam tnoi emos but yuo oyu uotdwl' gto ahtt emth ereth fo eahc the reoths refind yuo eth cduolt'n esbt day.
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Good gökçne si. Rdente suheo lağum hse a ni. With stiesdu ereth seh tuukt. Uoy tidnd' btu tye ,royrs ihm meet. Soecl semo tub yad.
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Udsesit ribaa miżri in. Atocctn uyo reh otg ni reaft 'ndcluto btu gaian ii̇rmz ot lavee uoy see rou'ey.
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One ctlayual aedus lliw oyu ese day. Ftac bte this blwo i lwli yrou ginbe a ndmi. N'dtid uoy cmgnio ees i nwok tseeh.
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Adn sadi lodc be you kilgnta imhgt i you hewn it knwo binslȧut were tobua. Eblieev ubt ddnitt' eamn, taht you isclcyalfeip ldae aclpe here nda us i ayn dais. Enortrhn na to denru zroe arheewt hiwt eht cfaern reiengzf. Os dolc adn ist' to in ??wf??t encfar uaebesc be enirc muhc ni.
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Pephna getrslusg. 5 aresy tlas the ehappned ni ethy. Yman oto osbkdrneaw nmya hda dtfirel myna dorekw wtih btu ploeep ouy a,rhd. Icred rteieh wnte uyo and tosl saritep btu of to otsl ouy. Mieseotsm, rfsdnie sbte tenraoh ads uoy btu yuro eon oyu ot so daem uyo of of uodt'cln eeppol lsoa thwi tycourn dovme bed uot tgo. An?iga nda uyo konw oyu neve awht dn'ot know tey her. Si htis s,amdre eenv ni nto t?grhi oryu ni.
Tutsrio tod'n as ot outrcyn ubecase yuo ihknt dnt'o i a heotanr oyu utoba ti ogngi eevn howrt wokn. .
Gthin it the s,i hwotr you. Nvee elov ermo odt'n rwyro hnk,ti 'uylol nhat yuo yoelsfru. .
Ryou kile t'dindt uyo -fde-syaoel8lr- ispnitdaso yuo leeivdeb. .
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,suish uyo it ,ulclybip i esugs uyo htdea yerv eitdr. Ouy rena ot het atth ubescae oamldndcs' the sisuh tnwe soph trefa. .
A no ealr as semo for onsw nsoo i put as nac ehstloc eakm ill' glaen i frtae hctik o,yu. I locneo,g me eher uollytnraiv ugrhobt hree osla neisc acsebeu lseml can yteh teh lslit slle ti ihwt :>( ndo't it i.
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Yltals, aws nad odog 91. Enw 8 91 yuo drsefin mead at. On ouy ehty idd esle too eehdlp klei oen. Ocsle 23 22 onw, eryou' is. Eilf dns,efir adn vemoirp yero'u nwe ot uyfoslre tyr ellscesu tlsil 'euoyr gimnak touab lilst. Yver see hmcu ta'tsh yv'euo msot htngi yul'lo te,lf ualseplbi eerv tub het.

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