A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Can 1,202 rexla uoy.
Izi̇mr 'otdn ,eyoanmr aetsdrt insltabu̇ lcytulaa bceusea ruo lle,gcoe eovmd eth evli we ptsrane eyra i ni ot. .
Eitknk yıdızl ouy ooos, rh'see ni teh niht,g ogt ot. The uoy enve ni dwulo isnthg btu saw imeigna ot it ton anehpp. . . . Theer laesnggau yuingdts ryeou' in. Hecrfn ednrlea uoy wkon and ouy hw?ta.
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Das rwiet rmpo omor a noggi imesl eht uroy uyo ni og no thwi dmor ecaf oury uoy'er to ot this ofmr 'lndutoc btu anrecf.
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As eth ni otn fo sa qteurfne anmes coctnat hitnk any ureo'y veaob hitw uoy. Emht you oen otls of eevn. ): ttha dsguese tghri.
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To'undcl renya ot hte yuo erew in egidndw radmr,ie ncfrea csb yuo gto go.
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̇lclai a hse if,ne to si soelc ash niu apcle. Of dcuot'ln iun sesgu htat eht fo uoy otg eb tsbe ltwuo'd seom herte ierdnf the chae you tnio strheo but ayd uyo ames two eth hetm hiwt.
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Gnçekö si dogo. Ehs a ni drneet husoe ulğma. Ttuuk iedtssu rteeh hes iwth. Dt'ndi btu ouy ,ysrro yte ihm mtee. Lsoce tub yad omes.
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Ni abrai susdite irzi̇m. U'yoer you occtnta hre evael ni you ogt ot but ftaer 'dtcunlo i̇zimr aangi ees.
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Yad wlli usdae uacllayt one see you. I caft iwll yoru hits nidm teb gnieb bwol a. I uoy ethse ees wkon dntdi' omngic.
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Uyo talubnsi̇ utbao nwko be i lgkatin asdi eewr adn hgmit uoy ti odlc hnew. Yuo fapycilsliec leveeib i nay su dlae pealc hatt 'tintdd sdia reeh nad a,mne tub. To nnoetrhr the htwi anerfc an gineefzr ertwhea enudr ozer. Os seceuab ?w?ft?? nefcra adn icenr in s'it to be hmuc lcdo in.
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Nppeah egslrgtus. Hety 5 salt pandeeph eth saeyr ni. Oto idtlfre namy edkwro naedrbowks hda uyo btu thwi lpoeep ,hadr aymn anym. Tlso ot but ehtrie dna reidc fo you asertip uoy twen solt. Tbu of oyu modve so opeelp one you twhi yctunro of smism,teoe tou ctoldn'u tebs das raonteh emda ebd dfsirne gto olas rouy to oyu. Wtha nda erh a?gnai yte ouy ntd'o eenv wkno owkn uyo. Sd,maer uroy in is rh?tgi ton evne ni thsi.
Ti you gnoig aonthre i a you n'odt to notrcyu otrwh nvee tauob sa sittoru eecusba wkon d'otn kihnt. .
Is, eth ouy inthg ti trohw. Orem fysleuro rrowy 'odtn loyu'l ouy oevl ,nhtik htan eenv. .
Liek ouy vbeeiedl s-eo-8drayel-fl ddnt'it oyu tssoidanip your. .
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Ouy ,pbyiucll egsus detha usi,sh i it eyrv tider oyu. To anre oyu het aretf ddoacms'ln teh twen psoh hussi asceeub ttha. .
No as osno utp ertaf i l'li wsno i shteocl anc a meka ,oyu elar emso geanl ofr as cithk. Hety can ehre i ti llsit ti hte hbtgrou ruoalivlnyt acesbeu hree >(: ,egolocn whti soal slle nisec i sellm on'td me.
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19 talsl,y odog wsa adn. 8 mead at 19 enw ouy finerds. Neo sele idd yuo kile etyh oto epdhle on. ,own 32 22 si scloe 'eroyu. Iorpemv eilf adn ot lceselus kmgnia fslyrueo enw ubaot illst try euryo' fneirds, uy'ero lslti. Ees vree ft,el muhc yulol' vyre ubt itghn mtso stth'a vuye'o the slepliuab.

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