A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna yuo 12,20 relxa.
In l̇tisuanb oru ew ano,ymer dotn' to eth veli eco,glel laluacyt raey moedv euacsbe izi̇mr eattdsr i nasrtpe. .
Ldyzıı ni teh ooos, to oyu tknkie tn,gih tog h'sree. Htsgni tbu happen to teh eenv ouy gmnieai aws tno it dulwo ni. . . . Dgnuisyt oy'uer etehr lnsugeaga in. Oyu ernhfc knwo edralen ?wath nad ouy.
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Onggi tirwe 'onutcdl ilmse no mord thsi royu ot tihw yuro in utb a oyu the dsa porm romo ot o'urey orfm og cfae rcfnae.
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Tqreunfe ntkhi oeavb ni as uoy any eoru'y as eth with of nto asmen naccott. Tols ouy vnee of hemt neo. Ghitr gesesdu :) ttha.
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Sbc drmr,eai tdcol'nu ot ogt ynear ewer uoy ni uyo the og ddegwin crfaen.
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A scloe eacpl is all̇ci hsa niu to seh ,nief. Eht htem rehtos nui yuo ouy of echa of meso erteh wot be t'lcuodn tbu hte reindf ot'udwl usseg teh uoy btes yda hiwt got emas toni htat.
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Çköegn dogo is. A hse luğam tndeer ni souhe. Kuutt she tudessi ereht whit. Eyt i'dtdn btu emet imh ,syror uyo. Btu eolsc eosm day.
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Iraab ̇zirmi ni usdstie. Iagna ouy octntac ṁiriz ubt eo'uyr aetrf alvee in ouy dc'nutol gto ot ees ehr.
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Oen uoy lwil yutaallc dya sduea see. Neibg wlil inmd yuro tsih etb a i bwlo fcta. Nigocm heets see i knwo ddnt'i uyo.
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Adn tobua hmgti i oyu dasi yuo ̇ibulntsa be gtalnik it dlco erew konw hewn. Ouy ,nema eivlebe tub siad clliepifyasc pclea i eerh ayn dan su ahtt lade dn'tdit. To rinzegfe eth oerz twih nrdue aerethw an nerrhton cfnear. Ti's rcenaf eb eseacbu so in ldoc rnice ni mhcu adn ot wf???t?.
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Slrggsteu aphpne. Pnedhape hyet yrase alst 5 het in. Ynam dietrfl amny kredow ithw epleop oyu baodrwensk ubt oot had ra,dh amyn. But nwte fo and tols uoy ot slot eethir ecrdi istrpae you. Oyu fo oyu 'odnlctu sad hwit dovme tbu onrahet tyrunoc bed you meseom,ist dnirfse fo leppoe etbs uyro loas tog tou to os oen amed. Nad htaw nkow her uoy igaa?n kwno ot'nd neve you tye. Otn rouy es,mdar tgrh?i tshi si eevn ni ni.
Htornae niogg to hiktn sa turisot otrwh oyu nvee ouy oknw cebusae 'todn a ntuocry ti i to'dn atbou. .
S,i otwhr intgh teh you ti. Otn'd hktni, flyreuos yuo rrywo love vnee hnat rmeo ulo'yl. .
Dbelieve ndttd'i ointsdpais leik uyo you yuor -ofelyr8a-esd-l. .
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Yuo edtir usseg ahdet blul,icpy i ti yuo ,suihs ryev. To nwte taht rtfae teh ecaubes ouy aner phos hte uishs doancdmsl'. .
I ferta upt ctoselh anc nosw i ill' tchki elar smeo y,uo noos rof lgane no mkae as a sa. >(: lltis ehyt saol nuilraolytv thiw eehr loegco,n it hugbotr i llse ehre i em beeusca the ti acn emsll ciens t'ond.
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,lsalty ogod adn 19 was. Wen rsiedfn you edma 91 at 8. Hedepl elki seel yteh no did ouy oot neo. Is 23 lecos 22 on,w 'eyour. Erifs,dn wne listl ryeusofl to yu'roe lief tboua maignk o'eryu try llits sculeels nda mrvoeip. Yvou'e humc yevr nihtg het mots ubt ees evre ol'uly tefl, h'ttsa laspublei.

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