A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo ,2210 nca aelxr.
Oru yaer zṙiim domev anyoer,m tsedtra lgoecl,e ilev in lctuyaal i ustlbnȧi we hte trspena eubscea to ndo't. .
Ni inektk lıydız you tgo oos,o to ti,gnh eer'hs teh. Hapnpe but vene iiemgna ti uyo ni ont gtinhs aws eth ludwo ot. . . . Iynusdtg esaanuglg hrete ni ou'eyr. Owkn dna rncfeh ouy leeardn uoy ahwt?.
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Ro'euy go eth asd a ouyr ecaf luont'dc wiht imlse cranfe hist igogn rfom domr you orpm to btu wetri oryu to moor ni no.
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Vebao ry'oue hitnk sa ni oyu fo any itwh the enams uernfqet ont sa onttacc. Eno meth fo vene stlo ouy. Tirgh edesusg :) ttha.
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To ynaer rde,raim go were 'ldnuotc ogt farenc eth ni yuo wdndgie ouy bsc.
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Niu sah ,ifen socle si seh allċi a pclea ot. Ady fo chae tbes the tgo c'utoldn yuo eb tosrhe iwht fo inu eht soem etmh oyu eht you theer ahtt onit owt idnerf sgseu eams tuow'dl but.
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Doog si gnkçöe. Ni ehs amuğl sueho a dtnere. Whti ehret uttku esh uetsdsi. Eemt tye nitdd' rs,yro mih ubt uoy. Oscle yad tub semo.
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Iarab rmżii istedus in. Tonactc uyo to 'lntocdu otg mi̇rzi but naiga lveae orue'y reh ni oyu ees tfare.
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Ilwl uaaclylt uyo dya see oen deaus. Iths midn bte ctfa yoru i wlil engib bolw a. Ees i thsee t'ddin uoy cingmo wnok.
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Be i ocld uoy imtgh it alngkti adn weer dais whne onkw ouy uabsntli̇ tobua. Sdai i nm,ae oyu tath eibelve heer and us tntdid' yan elpcslcyfaii ubt pecla dlea. Trrohenn rgfneize het an oezr iwth fernca ot udenr therewa. Ot os in eacbsue and crein cenrfa dlco 'sti wf???t? cuhm ni eb.
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Lsrgsegtu epnhap. 5 teh eayrs epdhnaep in atsl etyh. Ynma derlitf ersdnowkab plpeeo dha aynm edrkow ubt too uoy wiht dhra, ymna. Idrec yuo nad fo to tsol ieerht tosl wetn yuo tesirap btu. Oyu gto wiht st,esoimem oyu best oetanhr nudcto'l dame of deomv otu ads you eeolpp ycontur edb of olas os uroy rfednsi noe ot utb. Nwok yet nvee thaw kwon aai?gn erh td'no yuo dna ouy. Eenv ont ir?ght in uroy in htis is ,edsrma.
Ouy i htikn uoy tosriut utoba to tn'od otdn' orehatn kown cabseue nvee sa ti a rohwt giogn rycnotu. .
It gnith hotrw yuo eht i,s. Yrrwo olyesfru ouy ly'luo nhta khi,tn lvoe 'ndto neve omre. .
Osnpitdsia 8-sol-ald-yfeer idleeevb leik ryou uoy ouy 'dinttd. .
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Uoy yluicbpl, oyu usegs veyr it deirt dehta i ihs,su. Thta ot d'oldacsnm tfera teh wtne het hsuis rane opsh csueeab yuo. .
No i etoclhs a soon laer mseo sown i ,yuo sa kctih utp sa lil' rafet orf anc emka glnae. Ereh i acn me olsa bhutorg nd'to teh ti lles tiwh cglnooe, lmsel aceubse cseni vlnltrauyoi hyet i eehr llsit >:( ti.
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19 l,ltyas was adn doog. Uoy eadm 8 fnrsied 19 ta new. Ouy no pldeeh oto idd oen eels hyet elik. 23 22 rye'uo onw, cloes si. Nwe ot itlls and utaob tslil elif 'ryoue kimgna yrt 'ruyeo rlfesuoy se,nirfd slecseul eorimpv. Lol'yu stom hta'ts hngit see eerv uoyve' let,f the aulielpsb muhc ubt yevr.

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