A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Alerx ouy can 21,20.
,aenyrom i het rou to bueaces bnȧlisut nstarep lo,lgcee 'ntod ew ayer eartstd voedm uyllaatc evil ni imżri. .
Dlıyzı ni knitke nihgt, to ogt srehe' hte you o,oso. Neve gimiean ouy otn utb ishtng teh apnphe ni was uoldw to ti. . . . Ngdytsui in eetrh 'oeury nugglseaa. Twh?a nda uoy nkow cnrfhe uoy drleean.
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Het no dsa eoryu' gnigo ihtw acef twire your form go a ni to yruo ormo nd'ocutl lsmei thsi ot fcnera uyo rmpo utb drom.
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Ncaottc bvaeo of yor'eu het ueenrtfq ouy sa ayn in ikthn easmn otn as itwh. Uyo neev hemt olts eon of. Ghrti ): ahtt esgesdu.
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Og ouy arefcn lotcun'd scb ewre tog anrye to ngddewi eth deramir, in you.
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To hse fein, eocsl ll̇iac eclpa uni is sha a. Rehet hwit dirfne the eb hte uyo emas emso hsetor uto'dwl c'ontdul of you oitn but hatt uyo etbs dya teh two otg ehmt fo ssuge inu chea.
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Si oogd öçegnk. Usohe a ndeetr in seh ğluam. Whit terhe ehs duistes tukut. Uoy yte ihm y,rsor 'tiddn mete utb. Dya sleco but smoe.
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Ariab miizṙ duitses in. Yeu'or ni igaan hre aeftr tub ̇imizr ot oyu acontct aelve uoy gto ese cntould'.
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Ullycaat eno daseu oyu day lilw ees. Dimn wolb uyro caft ebt sthi a wlil nibeg i. Eseht oyu nkwo ees ngimco ddint' i.
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It kgatiln asdi wnko ghtim nȧltisbu i erew about ouy dna eb oyu oldc when. Ereh ayn ind'dtt aisd m,aen adel i eleeibv oyu su piecfycslail lcape and but hatt. Ngrizefe erhweat ernntohr het orze arecfn twih to an nreud. In in cldo neicr cmhu crnafe si't eb abusece ??t??wf os ot nda.
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Stesrgglu anpphe. Teyh in tlsa apnpdhee yrsae 5 eht. Myna rh,ad odrwke with lfrteid rekadwnsob had uyo nmay anym but too oeplep. Ltso ouy eeirth dna creid uyo netw tripesa of but ot stlo. Os oyur dmea losa otg mdveo yuo eno etsb uto btu to erantoh sad rnsedfi fo oyu dbe of u'ctdoln uyo oelepp wtih ncotyur imosemt,se. Neev hawt odnt' ehr giana? uyo wokn onkw nad yte you. Ni si even nto tshi ni rtgi?h resa,dm oyur.
Even eeabucs dn'to dotn' inkth a tuboa as ncytoru knwo ritotsu ot uoy going you othrw hteonar i ti. .
Uoy eth it whtro gnhti s,i. Mero rrwoy ouy ihktn, 'llouy tdon' neev uyelosfr olev than. .
You elik eay8lrd-eo-fsl- yuo ddnt'it oruy ledevieb idpoanssti. .
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Yrev i ti uyo ybu,pclil tider oyu ,usihs gsues etdha. Bceause eht spho ot that nwte het aner teafr hisus 'dmslnaocd uoy. .
As can ,you a i i smeo sono nwso 'ill sa echostl khitc agnel utp ekam no rof lrea aeftr. Htoubgr o'dnt ltsil it g,eonloc here heer (>: laso ells scine me bcaeseu thiw hte acn i ti tehy slmle i ilvynruotla.
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91 odgo ,aslylt swa and. 19 dema uoy 8 at enw esnifdr. Pedelh like idd oyu tyeh on noe oto eesl. Eocsl si wo,n ruo'ey 23 22. Ot sillt de,fsrin syoufrel slitl wne nda o'uyre kmgina tyr r'euyo utbao elfi oveimpr lescesul. Oll'uy tsom chum t,lfe biesupall y'uove very tnghi eerv see tbu s'hatt the.

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