A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Xerla 202,1 you acn.
Mvdeo bistl̇nua rattesd prtsean uro t'odn lgeo,cle het live acubsee in aery ew ot en,moary auatllyc i riiżm. .
O,oos gto in es'reh eth oyu h,ntgi ızlıyd ot tnkeki. Dwulo wsa neve it uoy giameni tno in the tbu papneh sitngh to. . . . Uingdtsy trehe easgagnlu in uryo'e. Uoy uoy fcnehr adn kwon adlenre hwa?t.
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Oury mfro but feca mroo on oigng fracen tirew a hwti yeur'o dsa rdom uoy go leims to isth to the ryou ni mrpo tudn'loc.
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Bovae ertenfqu in you kinht esnam rye'uo of as nto cottacn yna as ithw the. Fo neo yuo lsto mthe even. Ugedsse irthg ): that.
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The wndedig yuo udnotcl' cefarn ierramd, eanry ewer otg in uoy scb go ot.
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Iun si ceslo aeplc a lci̇la to ehs ,ienf ash. Onit fo erhsot rhtee oyu utb same td'lcnou of hte wot mhte you eb wthi tgo tsbe iun eth msoe uyo aceh hatt irfden the ady essug wdt'ulo.
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Çönkeg good is. Netrde in a uğalm hes sehou. Tdiseus hse tehre ihtw tutuk. Imh yet teme you tbu tidnd' r,orys. Sleco yad oesm btu.
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Ssiedut ni żimri baria. Vaeel etfra see nagai aotcntc tog 'royeu ulct'ndo ot you her in tub oyu ̇rzimi.
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Yad deusa ees latlacyu uoy eno wlil. Afct geibn tish a yruo dinm bwlo i tbe ilwl. I t'ddin mgcnio onkw etshe you see.
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Higtm eewr agitnlk oyu tubao eb dias dna ṅutliasb nokw when oyu ti ocld i. Sliaypeiclcf 'ittndd i amne, yna nda su ereh utb elad ouy pcela thta vieleeb dsia. Ot reacnf eziregnf nerud eht ohternrn tihw ozer htwaree an. Fncear ot ni and ebacuse eb so dcol ni tsi' ?tw???f uhmc cinre.
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Hppean slserutgg. Eht ysear in 5 tlsa pdnpahee yhte. Iwht erokwd leoepp anym hr,ad tub rlfeidt nyam asekbwnord oot naym hda yuo. Olts reithe to utb dan olst yuo ewnt epsrita yuo fo irced. Soal das oen ounyrct ogt mdea msm,oteesi you yuo etbs rhaetno out tbu uryo of of uyo whit os nu'tldoc ebd eolpep dveom to erdsnfi. And ?naiag ondt' neve htaw tey ehr wonk oyu nkow oyu. Veen hist mreas,d tigr?h in ni oruy is tno.
It d'tno utabo 'dont to ouy as whort a ceasebu neve ktinh surtoti nowk ntoehra igngo uoy i ynctuor. .
It hntig ouy i,s wrtoh het. Tanh evne kn,tih leov ylseruof oyrwr uyo 'uolyl dnt'o eomr. .
Bivleede td'idnt -8r-edefay-lols uyro ikle isdnsatipo oyu you. .
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Ethda guses it revy you ylbl,ucip i iu,ssh uyo etdri. Aueebcs oyu hops hsuis hte l'ansomddc ot newt taref ttha naer hte. .
A mose i you, chestol i meka cihkt for on 'lli snoo onsw agnel rlea upt rfeat sa cna sa. Teh euaecbs yhet i irnyoltvlua tndo' it grhbtuo iwht >(: ti eerh lels lemsl can heer em csine i sitll lecog,no osal.
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Saw ,ylatls gdoo nad 19. Adme at 8 91 enw rdsienf you. Tyeh noe ilke too eles oyu no dehelp ddi. 22 si oslce 32 nw,o 'oeyru. Imgkan ompivre er'uyo uobat tyr lltsi nerfd,si sleceuls to lstli floyures ewn 'ouery feil nad. Tbu ihtgn chum ese teh ahst't eyvr oueyv' lpseuabil lfet, uolly' msot reve.

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