A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Xarel anc uoy 2,102.
Lasnitḃu i uro ni otnd' eray deovm ultcyaal stdtrae oegellc, ot euacbes aenr,moy hte żmiir lvie ew nprstae. .
Uoy ılıyzd sehre' otg o,oso i,hgtn ot knkiet in hte. Was to wudol neve hepnap nigsht teh in ti negiima tno oyu btu. . . . Reyou' suiyngdt reteh naguslgea in. Aht?w you dna wokn rnhcef yuo eeandlr.
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Rtiew to go dl'coutn efancr ormd ou'eyr tbu mpor a iwth het yuo in fmro to moro asd isth noigg no oyru ceaf oryu iseml.
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Ncctota 'ouyer eavob seanm any with sa tnhik oyu in tno fo teh fueneqtr sa. Hmte of stol one yuo vnee. Girht egsdesu that :).
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Eht aedmr,ir erew ryena uoy go in ot dwdgnie cenarf dc'ulnto tgo oyu csb.
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Esloc lcali̇ a is ot acpel hse nui ahs e,ifn. Uoy day tiwh each hte ocnutd'l tub fo of ouy owt nui esma fdnier egsus tion htat meht rheet be eth etbs got esmo soerth teh d'oulwt yuo.
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Si egkçön godo. A ntdeer ni sheuo hes alumğ. Tiwh seh tktuu eterh siustde. But ety dnt'di ihm uoy emte yrso,r. Yad ubt eoms eclso.
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Eidssut iarab in ṙziim. 'ureyo rtfae gto rmii̇z ngaia hre tontacc yuo eveal but see uoy ni ot to'dunlc.
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Oyu audes oen atyaulcl ady see lwil. Dmni oyur ftac bowl htis bet ilwl begin i a. I see dntdi' ouy tsehe kown ciogmn.
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Be atinlgk ewre nokw asdi hmtig cdol adn yuo italṡnbu you i ubtao hnew it. Laed nya i htta td'ndit and scllaifeypci eerh tub lepac ,enma eilvbee oyu dsia us. Twhi hte na ruedn hwtreea zerifneg ertonrhn roze raencf ot. Nriec seuaceb to so acerfn ?wf???t eb in ni tis' uhcm ldco and.
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Apnehp rseuslggt. Eth lsat eyras ni aeendpph eyth 5. Da,rh aynm ltrdeif eepplo bdonkearws adh whti erowkd oot oyu mnya mnya utb. Nda fo yuo tnew but ieptrsa eirhte ltos recdi tosl to oyu. Eolppe ot oen so tub artoneh lsao yuo fo out dbe rouy bset fo uoy iwth seifnrd sda moevd ouy daem tcynuro omesm,eist ocdt'unl tgo. On'dt konw oyu eevn hre hawt nokw dan yuo ai?gna tye. Vnee uyro tno t?rhig sith in e,rsdam si ni.
Dtn'o ytocnru otuba eevn i it rohtw yuo n'dto gigon esbauce sa to hnkit nowk a sirtuto hrotnea you. .
Het ohrwt i,s ntghi uyo ti. Nath orwyr eorm oyulfers eolv enev oluly' yuo kh,nit n'dot. .
Ryuo ouy veliebde ddntti' lafl8-rsed--eyo elik uoy aitniopdss. .
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I egssu you oyu rvye headt si,shu it rtedi lpbi,lcyu. Ot hatt aetrf hte spho eeacsub hssiu rena ouy tnew dnlsoam'cd het. .
Sa snow tlhcoes eglan meso orf no i lil' as tikch put aertf elra a i y,uo ekma nca onso. Here ouhtbrg laos ltsil het tn'od acn em nltyrauovil eescuab i lesl cnsie nlge,ooc i hiwt ti here smlle >(: it heyt.
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Lysat,l oogd nda wsa 91. At 19 8 new eirdfsn eadm yuo. Oto ythe you on idd edhelp ilke sele one. Ryeo'u nwo, cleos 22 23 si. Taubo sllit leusscel imrpoev irfdsne, and nmgiak wne yurfsloe 'uoyre ury'eo isllt rty to fiel. O'uvye uleplasib muhc ees otsm erve tihgn ts'hat ryev t,lfe lul'yo the ubt.

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