A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

1,202 nac laexr oyu.
Eth ucsaeeb ̇imzri modve oru pratnes eyra we tlucyala oc,ellge i veli n'tod ni bli̇astun nam,eroy dttasre ot. .
Eht ouy ot ni oso,o yıızdl hint,g ekkitn ehse'r ogt. Ton oyu ni napphe aigniem ot gsihtn lwuod asw teh utb nvee it. . . . In gsgeaaunl oruey' etrhe sgiyntud. Leadren you nrhcef a?wth wkon and ouy.
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Stih uyo ryou eyor'u mrpo fnreac afce on teh smeli yoru in a gogni btu iwht dsa n'ltcduo ot ot mofr teriw mrdo go ormo.
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You teh qenutfer as otn maens iknht in fo eryu'o itwh nya as eboav tnoctca. Tehm fo ouy neo enev otls. Tihrg :) that gsudese.
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Cfnare ot ,iarredm csb erwe og got t'lucodn in uyo teh iedgdnw uoy ayner.
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Inu has ot a al̇icl is csoel f,nie hes pleca. Difren ouy whti eshtor sguse ttha ethre yda oems het mhte of dnluo'ct fo the uoy eb owt hte each otg btes niot d'otwlu uyo emas iun btu.
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Eknögç si oodg. Uesho ehs ertend a ğamul in. Ttuuk suistde rethe she tiwh. Tbu yrsr,o eyt uoy mih emet tn'did. Day soem tub cosel.
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Ṙimzi dessitu ni aarib. Otg eoruy' dun'ctlo in imṙzi rhe aagni ouy to ees oyu but otntcac tfrea evael.
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Lwli ouy calytlua yda eon ese eadsu. Caft idnm itsh etb beign i wolb wlil a yruo. Dt'nid ouy heest cnmogi i see okwn.
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Ouy aobut thgim i ouy it dsai reew adn be iatbṅuls nkalgit wenh odcl wkno. Us asid ahtt i btu ciesliacpylf deal 'tddtni you eevbile pcael and e,nam nay reeh. To denur hwit ntrehnor zoer an ewehart engzfrie fecarn het. Tis' to uesabce cnire oldc hmuc cnfera ni dna ??t??wf os in eb.
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Tegsgrusl apehpn. Eyht 5 ni alst phadenpe ysrea het. Dewrok tbu hrd,a brwaosnked dah yman naym with oot itrfdle namy oepelp yuo. Uoy oslt utb wnet yuo of oslt eriptsa to herite adn iercd. Nheroat aslo so rndfesi vodem tuo 'ucdtlno sad ruyo neo edb estb ouy utb of metiesmso, daem uyo tog to htwi epople ourtcyn uyo of. Erh niaga? ouy dna ahwt onkw even yuo konw t'dno yte. Ni nto h?tirg mdsea,r isth ruyo is ni neev.
Howtr uoy khint tdon' as even ot raneoht oknw i uoy 'otnd outtirs it igogn a aesbcue rcyonut aubot. .
Hngti yuo s,i hrtwo ti eht. Ermo uyo ntha yufroesl yolu'l olev eevn rorwy tk,hni d'not. .
Klie royu tdtdn'i spniasitod uoy ieevbedl olelaser8y--df- oyu. .
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Ryev yuo irdet ti thdea ssuge clu,lpiby i uhsis, uyo. Ewnt htat ocldmnd'as you hsusi aetrf to near eht soph eht uacbsee. .
Sa cna featr i a rof onso kthic on onsw lli' ,uyo mose lohstce utp maek elgna elar sa i. It het (:> ndto' aols i illts acn heyt reeh i ueaecsb lelms me talvnilryou erhe scine ells iwth it eo,clong turohbg.
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Aws 19 and ,ltasyl good. Fderisn new at 19 made 8 ouy. No oen keil oot uyo eelphd ehyt else did. Lecso is 23 uroy'e 22 ,wno. Ubtoa ytr slitl iefl nda 'oyeur ot 'euryo ind,sfre new luselces oufylesr knimag llsti pomiver. Hcmu eth tbu ,etlf tnihg smot vyre eerv ylol'u ees 'hstat 'ovuey ulaeispbl.

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