A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

2201, ouy acn xrlea.
Tertasd in ermyno,a ew vdmoe ntesapr escaebu eary rou i coe,lgle the evli to lauibtsṅ ̇mriiz ltucyaal n'dto. .
,htgni ouy gto 'rhsee ııdzly het kteink osoo, ot ni. Eevn inmiega you it ot the asw tbu nto in duowl gthsni hnpeap. . . . Ndustygi ggasnleua eetrh 'oeury ni. Daenerl efnhcr adn ha?wt yuo nwok ouy.
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Uroy ilsem ecanrf no oury ot thwi mrof but mord mroo ognig aefc hsit ndtlcu'o og you to tweir dsa reu'yo in pmor eht a.
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Hitw you ihntk snmae nrtuqeef teh not in totcacn aoveb sa fo nya 'euyro as. Meht noe stlo fo vene uyo. Atth ): rgtih sudesge.
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Tgo in uoy bcs ndwgied oyu frncea go weer ot yrnea 'cldnotu r,mdirae the.
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A acelp ehs si to niu l̇cial has eolsc e,nif. Hace ssuge etsb rnifed tow asme othser ogt eht hiwt day yuo be teh you wlduo't uyo omes taht tbu of eht nui htem t'nuodcl of otni rtehe.
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Ökegnç is odgo. Esh a ouesh in reentd ağuml. Sdetsui utkut ereht she tiwh. You ndt'id r,orsy mhi etem btu ety. Ady esocl ubt eosm.
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Imziṙ riaab in stdesui. Rṁizi you fraet dotnu'lc ot eeavl tgo ncaottc ni ingaa see but yuo reuoy' ehr.
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Yad eudas ylaucalt oen yuo lilw ese. Yoru mind ftac bet llwi lbow htsi a gibne i. I ouy sthee 'didnt nmicog ese wkno.
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Mthig yuo ti dsia nda i uboat lubtinȧs nltiagk wkno cold ewre oyu nhwe eb. Su ubt any clpsiylicafe yuo dsia mnae, veeebil apcle atht nad heer dtdint' ldea i. Neurd onherrnt iwth na aheetrw hte ot orze afcner freeizgn. Chum bsucaee rnfeca lcod si't eb adn ?f??t?w ni ercni ni so to.
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Ursgelgts hnaepp. 5 rsyea eth thye epeahpdn ltas in. Btu twih dah many kerwdo adr,h naym eltfidr oyu plpeeo aymn oto bwodakrens. Nda ouy tlos ciedr fo tub lost rtpsaei ouy theier to wetn. Cnyourt uodcl'nt ntharoe of tub dbe so ruoy mdae fo ot asd lsao tebs oseimt,mes tgo yuo oyu fndrsei oeeplp tuo ouy thiw noe omvde. Adn eyt uoy hwat agi?na t'ond onwk ehr wkno vnee uoy. Uyro admsre, si rhit?g in vnee tno ihts ni.
'ontd cyrntuo uyo it i to riutsot a iggno yuo rnteoah bseeuca sa vnee ohrwt aoutb hntik ndo't wkon. .
Oyu i,s it the wtrho tihgn. Oluy'l ahnt rwryo ursolyef tinkh, neve olve do'nt rmeo uoy. .
Sfad--yr8leleo- nttdi'd ekli you lebeediv andsioitps yuor yuo. .
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Gsues ,lupbycil iredt it ouy hated uyo i ius,sh evyr. Hissu het entw tath ot shpo yuo efatr hte erna cnlsamod'd aubscee. .
Oy,u a orf i ftera oson upt eltochs i sa nlaeg 'ill sa ekma citkh lare anc omes sonw no. Ereh rnyuvlaltio (>: olas ncise i tughobr i ltlis it htey esbueca 'tnod het n,locoeg esll esmll eerh htiw em cna it.
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L,tayls 91 dan godo swa. 8 uoy at inredsf aedm 91 wen. Oot oen no tyeh lehpde seel uoy liek did. 22 ruye'o ocesl 32 nw,o is. Siendr,f elselcus roylefsu tyr reompvi illts ot leif enw o'ruey u'yreo tsill and boatu mkgnai. Oly'lu osmt slaeiblup evre inght uchm eth st'tah but ees le,tf oevy'u eryv.

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