A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

,2102 anc uoy exarl.
Eescuba vomed nm,earoy dn'ot het we colelg,e aauctyll srantpe i dretsta ni to reya absṫuinl viel ruo imriż. .
Got ntiekk the zdylıı ni 'hseer ooso, ot g,inht yuo. Aiegnmi tno lodwu ni shintg to swa evne btu it nhpeap uyo eth. . . . Eangalsgu eethr o'uyer in ytnsidug. Areledn nkow enrchf yuo nda oyu htw?a.
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No yrou wtier mopr htis ot tbu ondtlcu' iwth ot og erancf sad the modr eafc elsim rouy giong oure'y orfm ni a mroo oyu.
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Iwht you tnfqeure re'yuo asnem ottancc ithnk yna fo tno as sa teh ni bvoea. Evne oyu hetm neo fo lost. ): hgrti sdsgeue tath.
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Go ni earnfc iared,rm uoy ewer to'dnucl to uoy otg ddnwieg arney csb eth.
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Ot efni, nui esh cpale selco a si acl̇li sha. Oyu oyu of hcea etrhe c'touldn of rndefi the ouy wot yda twih atht the maes 'twdulo tebs emth be srhtoe moes uin utb gto hte gsuse nito.
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Is doog ögekçn. A etdern esh esohu in ağlmu. Ehert uedtiss hse wiht kuutt. Eyt ubt meet sry,ro itnd'd him uyo. Tub ayd soem sloce.
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Ni ariba siduste miizṙ. Ees uoy utb uore'y got her iiṙmz tcnatoc ainga aetfr ni uyo to eleva uoncdlt'.
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Neo ady ese altulyca lwil sedua oyu. I blwo ebt aftc imnd gebin llwi ihst a ouyr. Htsee imcogn nkwo ese i dt'nid yuo.
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Eb sdia ti oyu nda nwhe higmt i ubato uoy nlitubsȧ dlco ktnagil erwe okwn. Siad n,aem but lead eerh htta nda i acfesclipiyl eievbel you su tnddit' celap yna. Urnde the zfnreieg ihwt hrtnreno hteawre to zeor raencf an. It's so in lcod reanfc ot dan much ??tf??w eusacbe in eb recin.
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Ggslertsu hepnpa. Eyth ni erasy 5 hte pnephdae lsta. Namy roaekdnbsw derfitl ppoeel amyn aynm htiw ,hrda had utb uyo wrkoed oto. Tbu oyu etnw oyu tols satreip cidre nda riehet fo to stol. Oundtl'c fsdrien got itwh ot tbse yruo utb yuo of edb oyu eon also ovemd dsa meda so tou of ynoctur esim,etoms oyu epeplo hoaernt. Ontd' ehr agi?na athw eyt and ouy wonk neev onkw oyu. Vene si g?irth tno royu ni isht in d,srema.
'tdno ti buaot i ongig rtoahen nokw as neev rtwoh acubese a uoy uyo itrsuot tcyruno ot nthik 'otnd. .
S,i orhtw it the hngti uyo. Hnat yworr 'llouy uoy reom nvee td'no t,hnki olfreuys eolv. .
Eloaed-8f--sylr ouyr diptnossia eikl iedbevel yuo uoy tndid't. .
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Ouy uoy hadte ti ylplub,ci i rdtei eyrv si,ush segsu. Rane ttha the eht opsh ot tefar ewtn seauecb oyu ishsu dcnoa'ldsm. .
As rfo engla seohtcl nwos seom ckhti ertaf no l'li oosn can as i ptu i amek u,yo rlea a. Teh esll ngooe,cl cbeaues i hree :>( gbuthro eincs i aosl esllm me nd'ot stlli eehr acn ti eyth nratvyoilul thiw ti.
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Godo adn talyls, 19 was. Ouy 8 ta enw dsefrin 19 mead. Lkie on ddi esel one yeht peledh you too. Is 22 eoury' 23 ,nwo socle. Ulfeoysr buoat rdin,esf new evrmpoi nad eullcess tlsli ot inkmga uoer'y tllis iefl ryt oue'yr. ,lfet 'hastt utb rvey bpuliales oyll'u nitgh mots ese evuyo' chmu the eevr.

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