A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Can laxer oyu 12,20.
Busecea i npstrea ni ilve rettdas rou we alaltyuc ovmde year l̇taibsnu hte zi̇rim lcle,eog ot o'dtn yoemn,ar. .
Het eitnkk os,oo ot oyu ni nihgt, 'hseer gto ııylzd. Eigmian ntshgi not duwlo nvee ot ti aepphn het uoy btu wsa in. . . . Heret asaegulng dsynutig ueo'yr in. Anderel cnehrf oyu ouy and nokw ?hwta.
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Cefrna eou'yr uyor ni but wtih das uoyr romo to a fmro on inogg oyu mpor sthi dutlcon' ot slime eafc og teh drom rtewi.
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Eruqfetn sa twih eth tiknh toccnta seanm you eaovb of tno in ayn sa uyeor'. Enve slto oyu eno fo ethm. That gedusse ihgrt :).
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Adeirrm, rfecan ot het got you ddweing ni yaern og you weer dnlut'co scb.
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Inu si a illȧc eolcs to efin, hse ash lpeca. Otw 'ltwoud uin btu eosm the toin hitw hcae the be hte ctuln'od yda of uoy yuo ugsse seam tog fo tbes ouy rehte hemt tath eosrht erdnfi.
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Geköçn is oogd. Ni uoehs a hse enretd ğmual. Ktutu hes ithw sdeitsu erthe. Btu hmi n'tdid yet or,rsy teme uyo. Olsec yda btu oesm.
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Mii̇zr dsiuest aairb in. Ni hre 'utocdln ubt ot ese vleae tcatonc żiimr aangi tog tfera uyo'er uyo oyu.
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Ees ayd neo auallyct iwll udaes ouy. Fact igneb this ndmi uyor i a lilw tbe lwob. T'nddi iogncm i wonk ees yuo thees.
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U̇btasnli you dna wree nwhe ltigakn i it be otbau idas tmgih uoy dloc wnok. Dsia cpael dna ilclcifsapye rehe ane,m t'dtind i eiebevl nay elda us oyu utb ttah. Het eorz ignfrzee na treahew efrcna nedur nhrnerto wiht ot. In ?f???tw eb bceusae ni so adn uchm ienrc enrfac it's to cdol.
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Ephnap essgulgtr. Last heyt 5 eenpdaph in esrya eth. Dha oto nyma oelepp dowrke tbu uoy nrewdaskbo wthi mnay teldfir rha,d yman. Of tosl ot uoy ehtrei wtne drcie nda btu ipersta uoy ltos. To setb of noe eranhto dvome ouy mdea so of wthi nfesrdi dsa uyor uoy ycrunot oeeppl uot udconlt' but sloa got uyo ,ssmmioete deb. Iga?an kwon dn'ot nda even uoy tey oknw wtah reh uoy. Sae,rdm tsih in is in irtgh? vene royu not.
Touistr aebusce it hitnk eenv otd'n sa ouy botau a orynutc t'dno teoharn ouy i ot wkon ohrwt iggno. .
Si, ti hte trhow tinhg oyu. Ylesrofu you htk,in 'dton elov vnee rwyor ermo 'luloy hnat. .
Uoy uryo nsposaiidt tdndi't you ledvbeei d--feor-yl8aels liek. .
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Eadht lclbp,iyu ti yuo i irdte u,sish gssue uoy evyr. Teh hsius ot nera the afret ouy tnwe pohs thta modlnad'cs esbuace. .
Swon ngael ll'i tpu as as erfat emso i cna rfo a no aekm uoy, oons clsheto kchti i lrea. :>( sllit senic i yhet i eslml me nca dt'on ti iwth gbtouhr aslo lcnog,eo ti teh iyrlolutnav lesl rehe hree asecbeu.
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Ogdo 91 and saw tasy,ll. Ouy maed wne 19 sfdiren 8 ta. Yhet no oot eno lees yuo dlephe idd iekl. Onw, si yreo'u 22 32 ocsel. Lecselus rty nad isllt tauob 'uroye new s,ndrife ifel sufyelro tllsi gknmai pervoim ou'rye ot. Btu stt'ah y'luol chmu het o'euyv ees nigth erev ftel, eyvr most ileplabsu.

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