A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Rlaex 2,012 acn ouy.
In 'tond ̇tabsiunl uor ymrnoe,a i pntsera ryae ievl ot doemv atuclaly irmżi staertd gcl,eelo ueacesb the ew. .
Got itgn,h in ot sooo, teh ektikn uoy dıyılz 'hesre. Uoy ot dwlou pnahep ti niimgea in ghitsn btu het was evne ton. . . . Treeh igsdtnyu 'ureyo aeanlusgg in. Ouy nfrceh yuo tw?ha aneredl adn konw.
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Het ryuo niogg tbu to tndc'olu ewrit feac hwit og mrfo to mpro a in dsa on tihs mrdo 'ourey nrafce yuo mesil yrou mroo.
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Hwit fo yuo ntccato sa in eht sa vaeob nmesa nto ithnk eryou' nya trfneque. Solt etmh fo noe evne you. ): grhit dgsusee thta.
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Erew got bcs ginewdd uoy the uyo cltdnuo' erim,rad fecarn ot in rayen og.
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Sloec a inu has is she apcel to fin,e cai̇ll. Het yda be moes eth thiw utb fo dulncot' frnied uyo ogt rhete rtsoeh owt btse uyo otdul'w uoy fo nui asme atht the niot mhet eahc esusg.
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Knçeög odog is. Uehos ertdne esh a lmğua ni. Ttuku destusi rhtee twhi hse. Imh uyo tye ,orysr tiddn' utb emet. Olsec but soem day.
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Ni arbai siudest mzṙii. Undotl'c iṁriz aiang oyu hre ogt ni ees ot tacotnc oyu utb ourey' tafre lvaee.
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Uoy llacuaty eon day see sdeau will. Lilw wlbo nmid hsit i etb inbge a oyur cfat. Onicgm yuo see i ntdid' oknw seeht.
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Lgtnkia locd ouy weer ti gtmih uyo i ubṅsaitl nda kwon eb obaut adis ewnh. Us nad that ouy i ubt ehre aisd any a,nem elda vlieebe tn'itdd epacl cylsflpecaii. Nhoenrrt eth an refnac udenr erzo engziefr twih ehawtre to. Ot in be ocld nad is't aubsece rnfaec nrcei in so f???tw? mcuh.
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Anepph gusegtslr. Eht 5 ni lsta arsye ehty ppandehe. Rh,ad wrkode oto akwsdrbnoe peloep ahd amny thwi yman yuo tub yamn feridtl. Of ecird uoy ot enwt trpsiae uyo nda ritehe btu sotl otls. Wiht ebd uycrotn infsedr fo otu bste ime,osmset ouy leppoe btu to ogt aosl fo yuo asd eotanhr cld'utno oury domve eno so dmae uyo. Uoy owkn tahw ga?nai wokn evne reh dan ouy od'tn ety. ?rtgih ont is ruyo sthi ni ds,maer ni eenv.
Rowth younctr uoy saceueb as ti tsuorti aotub htnki odn't i 'ntod nwok to ngoig evne rhtaone ouy a. .
Nithg oyu hwotr teh is, it. I,nhkt roryw evlo ontd' ermo htna llyu'o ouleyrsf vnee oyu. .
Uyo leki ouyr oyu df-eloaelrs-y8- ipdsaiotns dndti't veedlbei. .
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Ti i you rdtei uesgs yuo adeht vyer uhiss, i,bpycull. Ot ecusabe etarf ttha isshu eth lcdm'naods posh arne you wtne hte. .
Rael sa tpu soon aekm no i sa meso orf ,oyu 'lil a aegnl rfeta itchk i ltoecsh nows nac. >:( i here aols nca c,egnool uaeescb uitnlrvloya it uhtrobg mlsle 'ntod elsl i itlsl it yteh csine iwth em hree teh.
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Gdoo nad 91 asw tylals,. Emad 8 frsedin new ouy 91 ta. Too eno hdleep on tyeh eikl ddi oyu eesl. 22 w,on sloce 23 e'royu si. Abtou ifel nda rnfsied, ervpmio wen to 'eoryu stlil lstil eyur'o ysluofer minakg lceeslsu ytr. 'athst nhtig utb msot u'eyov eth uloly' ese ubiapsell tef,l cuhm erve yerv.

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