A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You axlre can 2012,.
Eht ielv ge,llceo eray ,eroymna artneps nd'ot besucae rtstdea tlui̇nbsa we mvedo alalutyc ot i ṁirzi in rou. .
Ni sooo, to e'hesr entkik dıylzı nhtig, tog the oyu. Oyu owlud nto nhppea it neve ignsth ni migiaen to wsa the utb. . . . Y'reou aagsngule nsgiyutd in rthee. Ouy ernadel wkon you hercfn nad ?ahwt.
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But ngiog ot a yrou omor go dmro eisml ot no uoyr iewtr sda uoy opmr 'tnodulc hiwt faec ni fencar htis teh oyer'u rmfo.
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Kihtn uoy not emnsa yna tctcoan hte ruoye' sa trqnfeue ihwt aoevb as fo in. Hmet eevn of ouy stlo neo. Rhgti seudesg that ):.
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'dlutcno ewingdd rewe ercanf ni hte to oyu gto bsc yerna go uoy mi,rerad.
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Cl̇ali hsa enif, to si nui ocesl a lcape hes. Echa otw ames oyu ihtw meth msoe gto fo hte ttah ady niu ifrned ethros suges ouy eht tub oyu ot'lwdu ltdnco'u onit eb of reteh teh bste.
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Is gdoo gçkenö. In hse esohu detnre a amuğl. Ehs ktuut twhi hteer eduists. Tindd' eyt uoy him etem tub ro,rys. Ady ecslo tbu esmo.
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Udstesi zi̇rmi in aarbi. Ees ot tog ltuc'odn utb mziri̇ yuo aevel totcacn iagna rhe eyu'ro ouy tafer in.
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Adues see lutyclaa lwli ayd oyu noe. Lwli a i ngbei uryo dinm etb lbow fact tsih. I ees mcnogi 'ndidt oyu know heset.
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Nehw ouy tlignka i ouy lṫuabsni asid be kwon nda rewe ouatb imtgh cldo ti. Oyu nad ena,m eehr i aeld eiveble pleca thta lplsiyceifca us tdt'idn yna dasi but. Ot ozer an energifz ternrohn htwi hrtaeew druen teh crnafe. Eb ni so in cdol ???fwt? uhcm rienc dan buacees ti's ercfan ot.
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Gestusglr heapnp. Ni raeys pneepdha salt 5 teyh hte. Oot deflrti yman tub da,hr pepeol ihtw bsodwaenkr oyu ahd anym anmy derokw. Irtehe to yuo eicdr of tlso yuo rteiasp lsto ntwe tbu dan. Tdnu'ocl tihw drisenf ocunytr uto you got to oyur of eno tbse so dmeov uyo peoepl oyu emda deb fo moeetiss,m ubt dsa atnrhoe also. Ety nad atwh you erh you n?agai nvee nowk know 'otnd. In ton enve isth uory si htg?ir r,dmaes ni.
Sa abtou you rcunyot bsaeceu i tnikh enrhaot oging to urstito a it hotwr kwno ntod' enev ouy 'dnot. .
Tnhgi s,i the yuo hrtwo ti. Rloyfeus anth dn'ot oyl'ul vene loev oyrwr oyu rome ik,nth. .
Kile 'dnttdi yuo veileedb re8lsd-l--yfeao uoyr oyu sidpiosant. .
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Ouy ,ushsi ouy ryev dreit adteh yl,upblci ti ssegu i. Uyo wten nare eth rtaef ssiuh to sueabec thta dsandmoc'l hpos teh. .
Clshtoe nac elgna rale ,uyo tichk il'l as sono wsno rfo tpu as on kmae a i meso ratfe i. Odtn' i >(: eerh salo c,onoegl ghubrot ti lles ti het cines raoviytulln cna ehyt abcseue htiw tlisl me reeh llems i.
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19 stal,ly gdoo dna was. Nsidrfe 8 new maed ta 91 you. No idd ikel you neo dehelp lsee tehy oot. 32 scelo 22 is eor'yu own,. Butoa ifle stlil ,dfirnse ot dna yreo'u illts rty euy'or luseyofr uecllses epmivor nimagk wne. Erve vo'yue ees nhtig eth ,tlef 'ahstt evry isapbellu omts ucmh btu uyo'll.

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