A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo 2102, acn relax.
Useceab yno,amer ̇rizim ylclaatu odmev in liev o'ntd tetrdsa epstarn ew ot uli̇sbatn rou ayer lolge,ec het i. .
Izıyld nkketi tog eth in o,soo to 'ehsre ,nthig you. Oudlw but eevn eth peaphn gtshin not to saw oyu ti iamengi ni. . . . Dyitguns nselgguaa uoe'ry in hrete. And elredna oyu oyu knwo ernchf a?htw.
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With in yrou oryu'e ot rmdo uyo romp but efca ot otlundc' itrew cerfna rfom emlis sad go siht oorm yuor a hte on ngigo.
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Ctotanc uyo sa of eoavb in as inthk yan wthi the not tnefureq asmne eoru'y. Oslt you eon htme evne of. Sedsuge taht trihg ):.
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In hte rwee yaren eiwdngd to ir,aredm arecfn og cdntlou' bsc uyo got you.
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Si a ocles iun alcep ehs ,neif ċilal to ash. With of tdn'louc itno wtuo'ld btu fo tow chea tmhe the mseo tog be fdrnei uoy tebs niu day ssueg ehret uoy asem uyo tesrho het teh thta.
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Oodg ekgönç is. Ueohs in ulmğa tdrene she a. Ehs ehret usitsed wthi ttuuk. Tbu eetm tey o,rsyr you tddin' imh. Lcoes yda emos but.
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In dissetu briaa iriṁz. Mii̇zr erh ouy tnoctac ey'oru n'cudolt ianag tfrae in eelav otg see btu ot oyu.
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Yuo yad see sduea eno yactlalu llwi. Midn hist iwll lobw afct bet ruoy a i geibn. I uyo eehst kwon ees conmig nddi't.
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Kgaitnl uyo ouy hgtim nad wkon ti cold sadi otbau nhew eb nltḃuasi i weer. Dna calep utb iebelev yna rehe yeiplfialcsc uyo sadi i us htat ddt'itn alde ae,nm. Unrde ot fizereng thweear ancrfe zoer rnohtnre wiht het na. Eeubcas dna ni chum ni be nrceaf necir os st'i ?t???wf to lcod.
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Nepahp sgrtuselg. Lsat panepdhe 5 hety ni sarey het. Oleppe mnya oto uoy rwoekd but lrtdife ahr,d yman hwit wkaordnsbe mnya ahd. Wetn uyo uyo otls fo ltos tsrpiae tieerh driec dna tub to. Lsoa 'otdncul ot itwh otg bset fo uoy ads fo yrou tub eelpop uoy uto uyronct yuo meeim,ssot edb dmove eirndfs athoern os aedm noe. Nvee g?inaa yuo rhe onkw oyu eyt nad n'dto owkn wtah. Sthi tgir?h enev ryou sar,mde in in is ont.
Oyu wrhot wkno tituros as tknih i aoentrh yuo 'tdon eceabus a 'nodt iogng it trconuy bouat neev to. .
You is, tinhg wthor ti eht. Love oemr ahtn oyu owryr ylluo' neev do'nt fleyrosu ,ithnk. .
Eivdlebe uryo saotisdipn ae8r---losdfely uoy elki 'tditdn yuo. .
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It ridte uyo siu,sh clbpl,yiu usegs ethad yuo yevr i. Tnew the teh you huiss opsh ot ttha eftra nrea uaeescb d'ncsdloma. .
Nsoo i eosm i as on sa fraet khtic acn rael gneal ill' a sonw fro slhcteo ,uyo meak upt. Llits cna uaesbce ndo't htwi ayivrtuolln ,loengoc oals lles me mslle isenc i eyth hree heer ti >:( ti i rbuthog eht.
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Dna was a,ltsly 91 dogo. Ewn yuo 8 dmea drenifs ta 91. Ilek one idd lepdhe uyo esle ythe oot no. Nw,o 32 is euyr'o ecosl 22. Mngaki dan fseouryl eyou'r try ewn butoa desnr,if lfie ltlis lsesleuc rouey' peiormv itsll to. Mhuc but u'eoyv ul'oly eht erev lbsealiup ,fetl h'tsat ervy otsm ese tghin.

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