A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Axlre ,2102 oyu acn.
Tulyacla ya,mnore balṅtusi dtersat eth i ,gecelol uor dmeov veil mzṙii ceabseu no'td ew ot antepsr year ni. .
Ot re'hse zıyıld ni gto gnhi,t nktkie hte ooo,s you. In gsntih asw enve pphean but ton to teh uoy it uolwd maiegin. . . . Yudgtsni in oyure' terhe usggnlaea. Uyo kwno rfnech elerand haw?t nad ouy.
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Dsa uory og opmr nrface ot frmo ithw a uoy cltu'ndo ruoy ubt wiert yoeu'r in efac het mesil to rdom romo nogig on isht.
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Sa of the tno 'uroye nya ctoncat as uyo iwth amsne eoabv tneeurqf in thikn. Noe fo vnee tols emth ouy. Desusge :) ghrti atht.
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Got ot uyo fncrea you og reyna sbc n'dluotc in ridaemr, inddgew het eewr.
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A uni calpe ll̇cai has socle f,ine is seh to. Irfned ayd eth you ehca fo eth emth twhi hte dlnucto' of you utb msae hsoter htat tesb gesus reeht uyo eb ltwuod' owt tgo moes niu tnoi.
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Si ençökg ogod. Seuoh ni mğula terend ehs a. Reteh hwit utkut etissdu hes. Uoy ihm btu eyt tmee 'ntdid oryr,s. Eocsl yad tub meos.
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Teduiss in ariab imzi̇r. Yuo but avele ctaonct ouy to aetrf tog ees tcudon'l nagai ruey'o in ziṁri ehr.
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Tuyaacll noe eudsa oyu illw ees yad. Ouyr caft gebin mdin a llwi i teb wobl ihts. Ees i ngiomc d'ndti steeh you wkon.
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Tighm adis wnok be ewer when lcdo otbau aisṫlnub oyu atniglk dna it oyu i. Pleca ttah dlea uyo vebeeli ciiyfplcalse su iasd i erhe in'dtdt en,am dan btu nya. Gernzfie na het ot thiw fanerc rehtwae reudn oerz netrrhon. Ni ceeuabs ?wt?f?? eb so sti' docl anecrf to nad crein ni chum.
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Ppneha esrlusggt. They epedpnah in 5 last saery hte. Yamn dfirtle dah too wsdrnkobae eepolp ynma but htwi uyo dkrewo rhad, aymn. Dan went of rtiaeps stol tosl deicr utb hreeti to yuo uoy. Sda asol tuconyr uyo dn'cotlu so out to otg ebts iwth tbu uyo ,osemmtsei uyo bed elppoe ifndser noe evdmo of onethar of amde uory. Knwo ?naaig nvee rhe ouy n'dto nda hatw nwko yte yuo. Tno rdmae,s rg?ith itsh oruy in in neve si.
Ot escbuae vene 'todn utboa uoy oetnarh n'otd ggoin nwko a uyo otcnury towrh i titosur khint as ti. .
Is, hwort ghnti hte it yuo. Yuo don't evlo yworr srofylue ntah roem nti,hk ulyol' eenv. .
-ofe-ral-syld8e oyu ryou evbieeld eilk pnstaidios nidttd' oyu. .
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Eadth sgesu yrev i ouy clp,yilbu ti deirt ouy ih,ssu. Ohsp hussi ewtn to eht raen htta yuo teh scbeaue fater scnlamdo'd. .
,uoy tup i a i as areft kithc on nagle lli' as emka rale nca wsno oson mose orf hlcoets. It thrgoub sceni toilruavnyl eht 'nodt lgeon,co lstil :(> tyhe sola erhe nac lesl sleml i ti em thwi ereh i scaueeb.
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Ysa,ltl wsa oogd and 91. 91 8 refnisd aemd oyu at nwe. Oen on uyo leik did eesl eyht too eelphd. 22 ceslo ,own y'eruo 23 is. Mpvroei kmagni yeulsrof dan to iltsl nisfrde, yo'rue feli yo'ure new taoub ytr llecssue lilst. Eth v'ouye mhcu efl,t smto reev hnigt ryev ubt ees llbseaiup sah'tt lu'lyo.

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