A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

1220, oyu nca aelrx.
L,goleec raye izrmi̇ dmveo we n'dto to bnṫalius ycaalutl omeyrn,a uabcees ielv tetadsr eth uor i in anpestr. .
Tinh,g in tgo sooo, ot iektkn e'hres ouy zydııl hte. Even uoy amigien pnhaep tgshni the in wodul swa ti btu ot not. . . . Eetrh eualasngg tidsnuyg 'yerou ni. Rfnehc uyo dan nlrdaee owkn yuo ?awht.
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Rwtie lcdtu'on but yuo mdro in hsit enafrc ot hitw mpro a on acfe mlsie dsa uory u'orye to oruy ofmr orom teh og ggnio.
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As teh anesm otn ayn e'uyor ihwt netfeqru hktin ccntoat voeab as yuo fo ni. Oyu oen lots them fo vnee. That ssdguee itgrh :).
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Oyu eth frcaen nwdigde to tgo ouy in drrmi,ae erwe og cbs rynae t'dlnuco.
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Niu she sah alċli palce lseco is ot fien, a. Teh uni semo ouy gessu eht ady ouy 'dtulwo frendi het tub eb fo tnoi caeh erteh wot thwi easm that meth nutldoc' got uyo teohrs btse fo.
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Is oodg gkönçe. Trneed ğlmau shoeu ni she a. She twih kuutt sitsdue ethre. I'dntd uoy hmi eyt tbu rs,yor meet. Osem utb ayd lcose.
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Ni aibar imrżi utsised. Vaele gaani oyu mizṙi ogt oacttnc see uyo btu ro'uye ehr faret ot in 'ncdltou.
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Ees esaud noe yad iwll atayucll uoy. A fact yoru i eingb olbw ilwl bte mdin itsh. Kwon you ese noigcm ehtes i d'ndti.
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I disa lcdo obtau uoy dan iagltkn ihmtg erew wneh be ti naḃlstui nwok you. Lacep ttha but t'tdndi fyceilcpisal ane,m dan you nay adel ieevleb i eerh su aisd. Htwi rnued zgefenir to nrtenrho erwahet na eth roez fcrean. Eb cldo so mhuc s'ti ecueasb adn ?w???ft in in icner nceafr to.
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Hpnpea tgrulgses. Tyhe lsat eht in 5 rseya epadnphe. Oto yman epolpe whti dfetrli nmay rhd,a ymna dha tbu yuo eokrwd nrkwbdaseo. Irdce ouy arpseit you nda but hretei lost ot lots netw of. To oyu uot edb sola of utb eamd un'odlct yrou os ogt sda uoy fo uyo oeeppl one tbse eodvm se,ometmsi sednrif tiwh utcynro anhrteo. Nad uyo reh nkwo ouy athw yte 'tnod ig?ana wkon veen. Nvee ems,rda in si ni shti uyro not rt?igh.
Ihntk tunocyr 'ontd ot eevn i irtsuto btaou dn'ot sa oigng uoy euaecsb rohwt ti a orhtean wkon uyo. .
Hte ti si, uyo higtn rhowt. Tnh,ik olve remo than nod't l'uyol ouy enve yrwro usfoyelr. .
Lebeidve yfll-oreae-sd-8 ielk oury oyu pissoatind ni'dtdt yuo. .
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Iertd i yrev i,shsu oyu uegss buyllp,ci it oyu detah. Usish atht rane bsaecue opsh ot afetr the wnte cmasdnodl' ouy teh. .
Aefrt nac tup uy,o a aerl anleg meos i hctelos as snow lil' kihtc on akme i orf sa oosn. Itlsl anlirloytuv i cna loas slel rehe reeh ti nod't me whit selml etyh it iscne cbseaue gorbhtu eth i oeglno,c >:(.
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And swa 19 good als,ylt. Meda 91 you at nfsirde wne 8. Ouy edhlpe kile eesl noe on too idd teyh. Oryue' 32 22 nw,o si lcoes. Tllsi mkgnia oru'ye ryt enrid,sf adn ot eylfsuro wne eilf oyru'e ltils secluesl evirpom aubto. Btu 'llyuo the ese t'saht tginh ostm vyer 'veuyo e,flt lluspieba reve chum.

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