A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna arxel uoy ,0221.
Dvmoe ni het i erya nraetps tond' uylatcal uro ot live aubsece asrtted moeyna,r naltbṡui l,eolgec ziiṙm ew. .
'reesh to ,sooo tkinek zldııy eth yuo ,thnig gto in. Nto aigimne igthns in was it hte tbu loduw ot pnpaeh vnee ouy. . . . Ni egangslau ereth igntsydu 'oeuyr. Ldenrea nwko h?wta uoy dan ncrfhe you.
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Omrd iggno eimls prmo ni to a oryu faec the rwite ubt uoy this uorey' ruyo whit moor sad ot 'cntoudl fomr on nrecfa go.
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Of eobva hkint ni sa hwti nuerqfte cnotcta yna ont nasem uoy yeuo'r the as. Oyu fo veen eon slto tmeh. Tath eusdseg :) ightr.
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Rewe otg dedngiw irderm,a teh in oyu uoy nld'tuoc enrafc ot ryena csb og.
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Cpael ot oscle seh il̇lac uni fnie, is a ash. Teh tmhe orhset esom uni the hatt yuo frdien o'utdwl eth htere ubt itwh of be aems sbte tino ady got you wto cahe on'dtucl uyo of eussg.
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Is eçngkö dogo. Ni a she denrte ğumla hsuoe. Seh ttuuk tihw etehr setsdiu. Tub oyu n'tidd eyt eetm ,rysor ihm. Lecso btu yda esmo.
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Aabir iizṙm dsustie ni. Aeftr vaeel you in aiagn ees on'dcutl uoy gto ehr ot ye'uro cnttoac tbu i̇rimz.
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Day lilw lytaaclu noe uoy saedu see. Yrou olwb a tbe inmd lilw gnieb i ctfa tish. Oyu etehs owkn ees i 'dnitd gmocin.
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I nwko taligkn oyu nda ghmti tobua iasd ti hnwe ouy eb ̇tsbaniul docl were. Ieleebv tath afiiylcclsep ntddit' btu i nad yna apecl aids su deal eehr emna, uyo. Eegzfnir twih nacerf ehwaret oerz het hrnonter ot na nedur. Nrface ?ft??w? adn eb lodc so ni cmhu ni eebusac to 'sti crine.
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Hpaenp sgstugrel. Pdaeepnh het 5 aslt in reasy tyeh. Had ftldire thiw ksoerdnabw anmy tbu uoy har,d amny oto ppeole wdorke naym. Oyu ot enwt you lots etrieh but nda of tsol saripet eidcr. Iwht eno eelpop erisfdn thaoenr ouy ot ads mvoed os uoy of you tbes bde imsesotm,e your salo t'douncl but otu gto tnoucry eadm of. And yuo eyt uyo onwk n?igaa wonk evne hwat her d'ont. Ni in isht is ont enve ryou igh?tr ,ersdma.
Ggnio uncyotr ti eevn csbuaee know sa ndo't ouy ntod' a i btauo uyo erontha ottiusr to khnit twrho. .
Ohrtw ntgih i,s ouy the ti. Td'on rroyw loy'ul nhta veol uoy k,itnh suelryfo remo veen. .
Ruyo sdsitpaoin ddttin' uoy sedy-l-oa-el8fr oyu veledibe ekli. .
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I tedir seusg ti cill,bypu uyo uoy veyr uiss,h dteah. Ot rena oadcdnmls' htta uesabec you eth shsui hsop ntwe eraft teh. .
Gnlae wson i utp a 'lil amke noso alre eafrt anc semo i sa as cihkt heostcl on ,ouy for. Iescn oasl 'dont ghurtbo here ti ythe (>: em esll hwit i i heer ,oeogncl cebeaus aylotvulinr tisll ellsm cna eth it.
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Adn oodg 19 wsa ,lyltsa. Wen 91 ta emad ouy 8 resifnd. Did dhpele too iekl eno yhte ouy eles on. 22 rou'ye w,on 23 is solce. Iangmk oelsfruy dan to ouey'r yrt o'yreu lefi nwe itlsl mivpreo buato clussele re,indfs slitl. Eht chum y'ullo veer tlfe, ese btu thtas' ignht o'eyvu stmo ryev bpieualls.

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