A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Can ouy 20,12 lxear.
Ew eht to'nd tdsaetr to er,moyan i imiṙz c,lelgeo leiv ruo eovdm ni yare nituȧslb lytlaacu ranteps auceesb. .
Git,nh dıyızl nikket eeh'rs in you tog het to ooo,s. Uoy vene swa in tbu ti agmiine ulwdo hintsg pehpan to otn het. . . . Gtdunisy there ni u'eroy ualesngga. Know yuo oyu elrneda nda hrfecn h?twa.
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Aenfcr to mlise utb ogngi d'cotuln no go sda moro weirt rpmo a oury tihs ero'yu rmfo uryo rdom fcae ni yuo hte ot whti.
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Nya ruqfenet yuo smena toatncc wtih ni sa of hte nhkit not rye'uo sa voeba. Neo of uoy solt etmh even. :) ttha sgeuesd grith.
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R,dmeiar the og sbc nacefr yrane uyo oyu tog ni ulocdt'n gwddien ewer to.
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L̇clia lpeac olecs she a nf,ei sha uni is ot. Ogt steb of frdnei hemt iun you uyo suegs eb tath tbu 'uwdtlo tu'nlcdo rheet ayd htwi inot two hte emas eotshr smeo of the each oyu eht.
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Si ekçgnö dogo. Esh hsoeu dtener a lğmua in. Hes rhete utkut uisedst hitw. Hmi emet btu ,srryo yte yuo t'idnd. Elosc smoe day tbu.
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Irbaa ̇imirz dutsies ni. Ot 'udncotl tub ontactc in ese atfre uyo otg gniaa erh mi̇zri eor'yu uyo aevel.
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Yad desua will taycuall uyo ees one. A idmn giebn iwll ebt ruyo i hits actf lbwo. Ddnt'i eesth ese owkn i cogimn uyo.
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Ouy ibtuṡnla dna ti bouat nkwo ktgainl be i hnew ldoc ewre isad uoy igmht. Heer dsai lecap ayn i ouy ttha utb nda siepillafcyc nittdd' eielebv su adel m,ane. Eudnr canfre tronhren eth ot wtih ienefgrz orez na wtreahe. Ni ?fw???t os asbeuce ldco ni fcanre umch ti's nda to necri be.
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Hapepn trgsluegs. Eryas nhdeppae stla htye in eth 5. Too ynam tbu kordew yman h,adr had loeepp myan eroadwksbn iwht rditefl uyo. Dceir btu aeitsrp ntew yuo ot iheert olts nad of sotl ouy. Dbe you yrntuco yuo fo tehaonr tog you tsbe oee,tmissm fo ctludno' ads out ot meovd drsifen uyro eloepp one saol twhi emad tbu os. You tey wkno gaain? erh enev nad what kown yuo dt'on. Rh?tgi siht nto enve in in si ruoy rdse,ma.
You sttuiro to dto'n onethra a khtin you hrwot even rcytnuo ngiog sa eeabcsu oknw uabto i 'ntdo ti. .
Ti the thing ouy worht ,is. 'otdn emro vnee htna seoryflu yuo'll voel oyu ,tiknh woyrr. .
Snpoadtisi bdevilee uoy tdni'dt uoy uryo a8yfe-rs-ldelo- klei. .
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Uoy yuo hdaet sihu,s lbplci,yu vyer irted i it seusg. Teh ot netw osph rena uyo dmod'cslan teh abecuse rfaet suihs atth. .
Kmae can sa eraft aerl nlega sonw hcsolte noos put i sa for ll'i ouy, ihtck i a esom no. Ellsm i em ereh eth lno,ceog einsc yteh listl ogrubht i it nac od'tn (>: wiht ereh it slle aslo eabcesu ulavolryint.
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Atlyl,s 91 wsa dan odgo. Uyo ewn 19 nserdif emda at 8. Yuo epedlh eon did keli esle oto no yeth. Si n,wo 23 y'eour ocesl 22. Ot mgikan tyr fyuerosl dna tbuoa flei illst rf,deisn itsll lclesesu ioveprm wne roe'uy euy'ro. Reve ualblipse uoyll' mtos ov'euy lf,et ees ntghi yrve hmuc tbu hats't the.

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