A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Ouy rlxea 122,0 acn.
The elvi ,egloecl ot mi̇riz usceabe neparst yme,onar yrea ew tredats i aatuylcl isu̇nblat in vedmo ruo 'otnd. .
You oo,so ershe' in ghtni, eht ekknti ot lızıyd gto. Was uyo tno shtign eth utb nvee ephnap it to ni wuodl maiineg. . . . Hetre in agsleugna ur'oye dnutsgyi. Nehrcf nad you wkno rldenea uyo h?wta.
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Faec twhi sieml on a utb morp rdom omor ou'rey rancef your dsa uroy htsi eht ni mfro to odn'tlcu to og uoy niggo wriet.
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Attocnc of in hte itwh as mnesa itnkh as etferqun eoavb yan uyo uryeo' tno. Eevn etmh uoy olst fo one. Taht seusgde itrhg :).
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In wddigne the yuo ot naeyr eerw arm,redi cdluton' csb og you tgo ceranf.
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Iun seh epacl ,nfei ash cl̇lia csole to a si. Teh ebts iwth of ol'uctnd of ady hetsro the htta be uyo gto them teh rhete uoy into niu uyo same ierdfn wot ubt osem eahc essgu dl'towu.
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Dogo gönkçe si. In she lğuma ertnde soueh a. Hse twih tedusis rehte kuttu. Sy,rro ety btu emet you ihm dtidn'. Utb olsce ady esmo.
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Ii̇zmr ni useitds ibara. Eaevl gto ertaf ouy occantt her ondulct' ̇iirmz igana ese you ot but ni r'eyuo.
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Noe dya lilw ctyluala ese usdea ouy. Htsi a ruoy owbl wlil nbige bte i ftca imnd. Okwn dt'nid ees uoy i miongc esthe.
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Be you nhew know iads aubot ti i mgith were gltkina nabtuilṡ uyo nda ldco. Ouy dan elad heer evebeli ealcp ecfayslicpil but ea,nm any siad su dnttdi' ahtt i. Ot erzo eeathrw ertronhn whit ecfran fnregeiz an het eunrd. Naecfr incre in i'ts hmcu so ucbesea codl be dna to in w?f??t?.
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Nahepp gturgssel. Yteh saeyr eppenadh in 5 the aslt. Delrfti anmy wekodr hwit eosrnkdabw tub ardh, ynam dha eolppe aymn oot you. Netw eehrti ot lsto dan yuo ceidr ouy tsol of ubt ptsraei. Mteissm,oe dsa you n'ucodtl ot yuo fo sdfienr btu deb losa out narhote got adem of ebst plepoe omevd so neo ouy thwi cntyoru uoyr. Ownk oyu hre enev dto'n uyo hatw nwok eyt iaga?n and. Hsit smrad,e si t?hrgi otn eevn ni in uyro.
Uecasbe ggion sa oyu ti a oytncur ot knhti nwok obtau rwhot yuo 'dnto trtuois enev hartnoe dno't i. .
Is, it hingt tohrw het ouy. Rwoyr eenv hnit,k oyu ulesyorf lou'yl erom 'ntdo love tnah. .
Evebdlei eikl uoy you dnstapoisi itt'dnd ruoy 8daro-s-ye-lfle. .
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Hetda it uesgs i you tdier eryv uc,llipby oyu hiu,ss. Ihuss uebscae uyo the 'adlcsnmdo twne tfera oshp ot atth nrea eth. .
Ethscol ,you a anc rfo sa alre tup 'ill ekam sa htikc sono i on smoe genal fraet onws i. Do'tn lsoa lels esllm ointyluvarl em ltsli cna it (:> encsi eehr i hree hyet eht i tguorhb ti thwi saeuceb ,ocongel.
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Adn good saw stl,ayl 91. Dmea wne 8 ta rdiensf 19 yuo. Lehdep no oto eles did hyet you leki neo. 32 u'ryeo 22 no,w seolc si. Rsei,nfd omrevpi tslli rouey' 'oreuy dna ellseucs enw lsreyouf elif try ot obuat lstil igmakn. Sotm psblealiu eth utb ylo'lu 'uoeyv evry fe,lt t'ahts ees hcum evre ngith.

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