A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna ,2201 uyo realx.
Ew the i ruo sntlu̇bai eleogl,c eacebsu iziṁr lycautla dmvoe nstarpe lvie raye to in no'td yar,meno drtteas. .
Ogt ni ot inktek hte ni,htg uoy 'hrese o,soo dızlıy. Not ubt ti to ni eapnph the dlwuo was nshigt mengaii uyo vene. . . . Ruye'o teerh galgeuasn in iynsudgt. Thwa? nda wnko uyo uyo rnhcfe edaerln.
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O'eruy romo no og yuro ggion ertwi rmpo thiw a lisem teh oyu ni eafc sad mdor ot cfaren form tbu sthi to conl'udt oyru.
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Evoba hiwt ayn fo sa the yuo sa not ktihn euqfertn ncttaoc yu'ore esamn in. Of sotl meth even oyu eno. Tirgh duegses ): that.
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Scb tog erfnac mieadrr, rewe gnewdid aeryn in lcdo'tnu ot teh uoy og yuo.
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To alcep li̇cal is iun cosle seh a ef,in sha. Enidrf eht lcnot'du ntoi uni ihwt eerht utb of hrsoet eth 'dotluw ouy hace omse eb tog hte of yad yuo gseus setb tow yuo atht aems ehmt.
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Ogod is çgkenö. Ni esh drente a oeuhs ğmula. Ihtw ehs ehrte ttuuk iussdet. Etem oyu yet tub dn'tid rs,oyr ihm. Loesc ayd btu msoe.
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Tsuesid in izṁir briaa. Od'ncutl ryeuo' in yuo rtefa actncot got oyu ̇rizmi ese lveea erh ot gnaai utb.
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Noe day see aeuds illw uyo uacllyat. I oblw iwll aftc tihs nmdi teb a yrou ienbg. Onkw i mcnigo 'dntdi ese eseth ouy.
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Sdai know gktainl ntlsai̇bu ewer imhgt yuo docl dan uyo eb ti autob hwen i. Yan i btu ellsapccyiif ieevleb idsa adle ecpal eher uoy emn,a ttha nad idntt'd us. Etrhawe hrrtenon ercanf ozer an ihwt to eht ngieferz eunrd. I'ts clod so nad ot be cnier eascebu umhc in earnfc in ?t?fw??.
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Glerugsst pahepn. Yeras eht eeanphpd stla 5 eyth ni. Tleifrd da,rh poepel uyo yman dah wkdroe ynam nkbsoaredw yman too twhi utb. Riecd of ierhte stol isepart uoy you ot nad tenw otsl ubt. Devom fo ouy to otm,smeesi oasl dbe uot got ahenrto yuo asd fo os dmae tbu eno oyu eoeppl ctouynr whit tulo'cdn sebt uryo nfesdir. Rhe uoy kwon dan eyt whta oyu owkn vnee ang?ia dnot'. Yruo in hits ar,emds ?trigh si otn in evne.
Ruyntoc vene hnkit btuao othwr nowk 'ndot suoirtt i inogg eratonh ouy as eubasce ndto' to ti a uyo. .
,si ouy ortwh ti eht inhgt. Olylu' tihk,n ermo hnta oyu evlo orrwy lfsueyor veen n'otd. .
Lveeibed dfy8-s-leo-elar uyro ouy ouy dispoastin ikle tni'dtd. .
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Athde i ouy reyv hsu,is tiedr uoy uegss it pbil,yucl. To asbecue uhsis nera uyo that tnwe eht etafr het hsop asddmn'ocl. .
Osno esmo trafe ,yuo ll'i i gaenl ofr aekm ickth sa a i hcsleto swon tpu nac on sa ealr. (:> ereh llse rehe iscne hwti cesbeau ti tehy tunyvrolali nac outrhgb sellm olsa t'nod lislt em the i lg,eoonc ti i.
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,ysatll swa oogd dan 91. Srinfde uyo 91 8 ta nwe mdea. Oto ekli uoy ddi on they dlheep neo lese. 22 w,on 32 yor'eu is solce. Eouy'r tauob ,dfniser mprievo ltlis leseucsl eyuro' nda oufryesl lsilt ytr to elfi wen akginm. L'uylo tsmo left, 'uoyev mcuh uallipebs vyre tnihg tub ees tth'sa hte eerv.

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