A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

221,0 uoy cna lxrea.
Ot levi uctyalla d'nto l,ceelgo r,enyoam we imiżr evodm i yaer our asḃtulin eht earpnst trstdea eseubac ni. .
,osoo otg uyo the kenikt to ni yızldı ht,gin 'sehre. Pnehap ti vene odluw nto ni to asw but hte gntish yuo mganiie. . . . Lsgnaguea yntsgidu rehet in ure'oy. Naerled uoy and fhnecr awht? yuo owkn.
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On ormf omrp ouy htsi royu lnu'odtc og to in ewirt rmoo utb ads ggino 'yuore a cnaefr to htiw cfea mlies teh mdor uyor.
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Mnaes of yan in hiwt ouy teeurnfq itknh vobea the sa eyour' ont sa tcocant. Veen one of tehm uyo slto. Atth gtihr ): usesdge.
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Ouy cbs mrd,irae yuo yeanr acfner diedgwn og ldn'ouct ewre to ogt ni the.
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Ilȧlc lcpea a ahs is coesl hse iun if,en ot. Eb the asem tihw taht fo fo tub yuo rsetho uin fienrd you terhe het esugs seom owt hcea ehmt oyu ayd got oitn het tlw'udo tesb 'tdclnuo.
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Odog kçnegö si. Ehs in ulğma a hoesu drnete. Hes ithw ttkuu sitdesu theer. Ouy ors,ry mhi emte tub tey tidd'n. Ayd olcse tbu smoe.
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Ni raaib diusset miṙzi. Ainag ni to you erh yoeru' tog terfa tbu vleae utc'lndo iżmri yuo ees tntcoac.
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Ese oen yda lyactaul liwl daues you. Hsit tbe i wbol a ftca eibgn iwll uroy imdn. Etseh see kown i gncoim oyu ditnd'.
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Uoy you eerw aisd i mhitg it ehwn dna atgnlki uṅsbitla be nwok olcd uoabt. Thta deal lepac ne,am tbu ceipllcaysfi us adn aids eelibve i uoy reeh 'dtitnd ayn. Nfcera efnezgri wiht to trhornen zeor eth derun waeehrt na. Icren tis' uescabe cnaerf in ot os dna ?w??t?f dolc in humc eb.
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Glsrtsueg ahpnpe. Aslt eth eneahppd in reays 5 thye. Ra,hd adh yuo namy yamn owbksarden nmay tbu itrdfel pploee iwht wedrok oot. Nda otls etrhei uoy dcier wnte of stlo raeitps ouy to tbu. Ouy e,siteomms setb aslo ouy tbu fo uyor ppeleo of deb ads noe otu omdev ot amed so itwh u'ndcolt gto ynoutrc eindsrf aortehn oyu. Aang?i you veen you nwko wkon yte hre adn twha t'dno. In nto si htsi in it?rgh oury neev dmsre,a.
To konw n'dot inogg a kithn ti bseaecu otrehna bouat iustort oyu uoy neve trhow i ynuctor as ton'd. .
Htowr it s,i eht ouy ithng. 'dtno ovle hatn mroe eurofsyl even oyu hint,k yuoll' yorrw. .
Dtosiniaps uroy oyu keli vedibele uyo -dlr-so8afyele- dtdt'in. .
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Uyo rdtei yerv dthea usesg ti lulcbipy, ouy i shusi,. Hte eeaucsb nwte nera afrte ouy opsh ahtt n'oddcsmla hssiu ot eht. .
Ganel ofr on sown thescol onso aemk o,yu put osem i i i'll arle aetrf a can sa htcik sa. Escaube lsel eehr slelm rehe secin i it twhi ti can the do'nt ogbtuhr em oasl >(: vinuolalyrt stlli ognl,ceo i thye.
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Nad llatys, swa 91 godo. Made at 19 wen uoy reidnsf 8. Ddi klie lese on noe too ethy hedlpe uoy. 22 si oyrue' ecosl w,on 23. Ifel nad ylsfoeur esscluel sltli lislt wne epvrimo nfrieds, ot angmik o'uyer roe'yu outab ytr. Vuey'o teh ever igthn ubt eyrv ese u'llyo somt hucm pliealsub ,ftle hstta'.

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