A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac uyo xrale 22,01.
Emdov gocle,le ziimṙ ot t'ond eht uor laacytlu elvi aeesucb rpeatns ew noem,yra ni esdtrat i reay ilntṡaub. .
Rseh'e gto ıldızy inktek to uyo eht oo,os i,ntgh ni. Naimegi nhpeap ouy vnee ubt ihtnsg ot wdluo ti ni asw het not. . . . Ni snuytgid hrtee rouy'e egnlsagua. Earlnde rehcnf yuo athw? uyo owkn adn.
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Asd utb ot og iwert faec mfro modr rmop on yuro to ilsem ou'rye you itsh a in uryo on'cdtul igogn fencra orom het ihtw.
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Het htiw ro'yeu nhkti sa ton as ctotcan fo rqfueetn vobae in asemn oyu any. Ouy eno enve hmte tlos fo. Usdsege ): ghrit ttah.
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Oyu marei,dr erew eigwddn aerny caefnr teh ogt csb ouy ni go ot odtc'lun.
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Fen,i hse cleos hsa a inu si icȧll ot pacle. Erdifn otw eth inot fo you eb 'nuotcdl that iun the heret odwltu' yuo eothsr omes uyo hte ithw aech fo usesg ogt setb msae tehm tbu yda.
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Is gdoo ekçngö. In mğlau a hseuo tendre ehs. Eisdtsu uuttk rehte iwht hes. Tub you yet tmee tdn'di imh rrsy,o. Lesoc mose tub ayd.
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Uestdsi żirim aibar ni. Occtnat żmiri ouy tog roe'uy her evela oltucn'd ngiaa but ees oyu ni to fraet.
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Lilw dsuea ylaulact see ady yuo oen. A caft i nmid oyur bet lilw hsti ibegn bolw. Mgnoic i you ees wkon td'din steeh.
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Asid uyo kinatlg wree aotub hmigt nweh i clod and be wnko ṫluibnas it ouy. Fipeclsyailc and hatt sdai dlae eher us ubt cpeal ebeeliv nay i oyu a,nme 'ittdnd. To rzoe hweeart teonrnhr an wiht nraecf zeefingr nuerd eht. Nad mcuh i'st in to eb rancef odlc bceeaus ni ecrni so w?f???t.
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Epnhpa gurlegsts. Eyht het satl appdhene ni rseya 5. Yman aymn dh,ar hda itwh rtldeif bdrokneswa ploepe wdoekr tbu you naym oto. Newt nda rstepia ot yuo btu fo tsol you cried slot eiethr. Dmea bed btes uot oelppe ouy tihw otg tub lsao edovm fo one you os culdot'n to of sda uoy oyur yonrcut efrsidn m,ietmseso ahotner. Ia?ang tye twah uoy enev nokw nad rhe uoy ownk o'dtn. Tno tgir?h vnee tshi yoru ni ,asdemr is ni.
O'tnd nkow trcuyno netorha it irottus gogni oyu dont' rhowt sa you to i uecbaes hktni eenv utboa a. .
Nhtgi ti ,si hotrw het uyo. You 'dtno lvoe eosyurfl kih,tn orywr even athn ermo ol'luy. .
8l--aosflr-edey toinpdasis oyu ryou kile liedveeb itdt'dn yuo. .
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It ylilbp,cu ssh,ui eirtd yuo atedh i usesg ouy vrey. Uhiss acesube hops atht nwte tfrae yuo eht ot eht near ndsld'cmao. .
Hkcit ekma can no 'ill sa ,oyu oosn as elra i ptu a angel i orf sown tscohel farte smeo. Nca rhee nlitrlyvoau llems ndot' llsti htye it >:( uhbotrg twhi it slle ereh em cesni eht i e,olcngo aols ueesbac i.
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Was ,tsylal 19 odog adn. Uyo maed 8 19 ta ewn fsdiern. Ddi oyu lsee eilk etyh eno on oto edphel. Is 22 oe'ury n,ow 23 cleos. Ot relusfoy eilf clseeslu new nad reiovpm ingmka yrueo' litls tyr atbuo illst ,defrnsi ruoy'e. Ucmh ees e'vyuo hs'att eslupilba most yl'lou het gntih vrey tf,le but vree.

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