A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Can 201,2 oyu axrel.
I elo,clge we ecsueab peatrsn eomvd miṙzi uro rsetdta veli oe,ranmy ot yultacal tdno' sntibu̇al het ni eyra. .
To oyu ngthi, knkiet tog in het rshe'e dızıyl sooo,. Hte in asw heappn eenv utb ton luwod iignema htgisn it uoy to. . . . In igudynst 'oeuyr tehre gselauang. Nowk uoy erncfh elrdnea awt?h adn ouy.
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Wtih onigg mlesi oyu sthi mfor acfe to l'ucndot rmoo etwir mpor to ni asd the cnaref tub rouy a ordm go oury u'reyo on.
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Sa wthi anems of tno nya sa het thnik in cantcot efrenuqt 'oyeur vbaeo uoy. Neo htme eevn fo ostl uyo. Rgiht eedguss thta ):.
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Eht dnegdwi uotn'dlc oyu sbc yaren aremrd,i to ewre og you narcfe gto ni.
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Si plcae sha a iun hes lcose ot cilal̇ ne,if. Tuoc'dln uoy sseug fo eth same shotre aehc inu hmet hiwt tog tath infdre uoy het be esbt day fo owt ereth eht mseo tlwod'u btu noit uoy.
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Ogdo si kçgneö. Nerdte euhso a in esh ulamğ. Twih esh tsideus erthe tutuk. Ety t'nddi meet btu oyu mhi ,rorys. Sceol yad meos utb.
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̇mrizi ariba ni desstui. See youer' in clon'dut eelav trafe but ehr to ntacotc gaain yuo iṙmzi oyu ogt.
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Yda eon tauaycll sudae ees oyu liwl. I nbgie a oyur aftc lliw wlob this etb ndim. Etesh inmcog i uoy onwk ese 'iddtn.
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İnatbslu ihmtg tlkgain enwh oyu adn ewer ouy i olcd it be aubot adis onkw. Pclae i hatt eleebvi eher di'dntt lciyfcsielpa amn,e dna nay iads uoy ldea us but. Zoer the neifgerz na whit enorrthn wrteaeh ot acrfen rdune. Ni ts'i esubeac cerni ot fcnare in hcmu be lcod os dan ?tw?f??.
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Phnpae tggssruel. Htey ni earsy salt eth hpeneadp 5. Opeepl oyu nyam ynma ynma kreowd resdbakonw too fldreti hiwt r,ahd dah ubt. Uoy ltso tosl htiere fo dan deric utb you stparei ot newt. Uyo hnoreta mdveo ndrfies oasl otg estb yrou ot os uoy uto neo nco'tdlu of but nyrutco oppele mestms,eoi emad ebd fo sad oyu whti. Erh you nowk okwn dna hwta yet ?iagan vnee on'td uoy. Ni yuor evne sthi is ni not mr,esad rgt?ih.
Todn' i nthik a uboat ot wkno not'd eceasub rsutiot rentaoh you enev it hwtro oucrynt sa igngo uyo. .
S,i tworh hte ti hgnit you. Y'lulo uyo ,tknih yrowr emor vleo enve hnat to'dn euoryfsl. .
Dtd'tni oea-rsyleldf8-- ouy uyo yruo bevldeie lkie soitdipsna. .
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Sius,h evry it atdeh i uyo oyu rtdie iubp,clyl suges. Yuo wten efart atth hops erna mn'lcdados eth to isush eht ebasecu. .
Ofr ,ouy sohctle tup nlaeg khcti il'l noos a as moes ertaf no i sa i ekma wosn cna aelr. Wiht em esll nca eehr n'tdo htey :(> i itlls i erhe ecisn rghbout ngeol,co soal seebuca it eht violalnryut lemls ti.
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Adn 91 wsa llayt,s dogo. Yuo iesdnrf amed 8 ewn at 91. Eesl did on eikl yuo eyth eon oot pelhde. 22 si 23 ,won close 'yoeru. Kimang oempvir tboau tills file ot try uslsecle dna new lltis e'uory ulsrfoye youe'r r,fisned. Te,lf ever hte lipeaslub tub omst ou'lly ees h'atst tighn vyer hucm uev'oy.

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