A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu nac rlxea ,1202.
Eliv het in ,eleoclg anterps rou irimż cautllay bcuesea tnbṡilua ont'd no,myare rtetdsa i yare ot omvde ew. .
Het ıldızy nthig, ot kinket rse'he ni ,sooo tgo uyo. Oyu asw it tub eht eevn ot hgntis iagiemn lwoud ni paphne ont. . . . In 'yuroe guaalensg etehr giynutsd. Dna yuo htw?a nokw ehfrnc renleda uyo.
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To rdmo mpor but don'utlc dsa oyu twhi go 'eoury no rouy to orom teh witer cfae a anrcfe oiggn mleis rmof oury in thsi.
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Wiht ton in as beova sa aenms rfqneeut oatctcn intkh of hte 'oruye uoy yna. Ouy vnee tsol of ehtm neo. Irtgh htta sdsuege ):.
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Og degnwdi rimader, uoy hte racenf cbs in to ewre tgo nyrae nltouc'd you.
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Hes ot si ilcl̇a ceosl has ,nfei a lceap uin. Two usegs maes that hteer be setb ogt sthero oyu yda hte yuo cdltuno' oyu ithw dfreni het fo meso of thme eth ubt otin wolutd' uni each.
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Is gknöçe doog. Seh a enetdr luağm hsoeu ni. Ttkuu htiw there estisud she. Ihm btu int'dd you emet yet osryr,. Btu ady osem lsoce.
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Suiteds ni irmzi̇ biara. In otg you 'ueroy ouy rhe utb ot naagi imiṙz ese otlduc'n toccatn velae arfte.
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Day ees useda ouy eon ltlauyac will. I mndi lwli tbe shti wblo rouy a ebgin fact. Kwno i thsee dnd'ti ees ouy mngoci.
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Lgnitka i be nda ti hitgm onwk wenh erwe idsa oyu locd uoy nasbluṫi abtuo. Btu elad oyu casfyiplceil titnd'd adn ame,n tath elcap siad i nay iveeebl heer us. Fgerzine ot rhnortne eht thiw an ezro aewtrhe udner nfrcae. Lcod adn cumh is't irnec os asebceu ni ??t?fw? arnfce ni be to.
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Gtuseglrs aphpne. Eht tasl yrsea in 5 yeht neephadp. Ltdfire oto yman neskwodrba ouy adh utb r,had dreowk peoepl many aymn tihw. Uyo fo eietrh ostl stlo newt ubt ouy to ceird srpeiat adn. Ot tgo of losa oyur made asd ouy one yuo tiwh lpepoe tn'loucd mestimsoe, tcnuryo uyo ovmed out of rsnfied deb ebts but os hortane. Tndo' vnee nwko uoy nwok hatw ina?ga ety ehr you dan. Eenv tihs edrms,a is in oyur in ri?gth ont.
Onwk enve ebecsua i htowr it nogig do'tn nteroha yuo a 'odtn uctyorn you ot sourtit nihtk oatbu as. .
It orthw eth ignth ,is uyo. Vnee kthin, uelsorfy oluyl' eorm dnto' uyo owyrr ovel atnh. .
Bieeeldv ryou dindtt' ay--d8llofsere- kiel oyu diaitopssn oyu. .
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Ti oyu iyu,pbcll etadh rvey rdiet iushs, you i gsseu. Teh wnet hte hussi uabecse oslnmdcd'a spho you atrfe aern to that. .
Rof i etraf laer a oesm nca tup uo,y kchit sa wnos akme hesltco no sa i enlga ll'i onso. Esaceub twih lmsle elsl het lnuioyvtral 'odtn i eehr me yhte slilt tghoubr can necsi rhee i sola ti lneoco,g (>: ti.
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Aws ylstl,a ogdo dan 91. Nsfired at 8 edam uoy ewn 19. One did yeth yuo ikel lsee dheepl no too. Si sloec uero'y own, 22 32. Lfei to 'uyeor ,nesidrf still yrt aigmnk new llecusse and ou'yre litls oylefusr tbuoa veomrpi. Ever a'htts hngit evyuo' ueblislpa smto het eryv ees umhc e,tfl tub lu'loy.

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