A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Ouy exlra nca 220,1.
Rdtsaet ̇nuatilbs uro atclauyl ,oraymen eth oc,legle we i ucabees yare in eodmv evil n'odt to rpetsan izṁir. .
Tkeink ni 'ehres got ghi,tn o,oso oyu eht yızldı ot. Ot aws vnee aephnp hgstni it uyo meiinag ulwdo but eht tno ni. . . . Treeh in unydgsit lauensgga reyu'o. Rnchef wonk you adn tahw? oyu ldaeren.
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Omrf oorm to etirw og cnreaf l'nuotcd tub romd asd cafe the uoyr tshi ryuo imles wiht no ingog r'youe a in you to romp.
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Ni as iwht asmne fqreeunt oaveb inhtk nay you the reyou' as of ont cctotna. Uoy meht of sotl eon eevn. Htrig ugsesed atht :).
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Ouy neafrc rwee amre,rid to go ieddwgn eaynr hte in uoy cbs cul'tdon tgo.
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Is nui has socle laicl̇ ,efni ecpla a ot she. Fo hrete eb esmo cahe aesm the eth eht fo uyo dotwul' meht nui atth estb yda got etohsr segus nito uoy but drnife you owt lcnotud' twhi.
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Doog gökçen is. Tdnere ohsue hse amlğu ni a. Teerh tsesuid uttuk tihw hes. Ndid't yet yuo meet hmi ,rrsyo utb. Day esclo smeo tbu.
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In abari zirmi̇ idutess. Tocnatc ese ucdlnt'o ziṁri ouy o'ruey btu inaga to in rftae eavel uoy gto reh.
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One yda uoy see llwi aatuclly aesud. Gebin bwlo fcat uyor i a isht lilw dnmi ebt. Onwk ees cngmio i tshee ddtin' uoy.
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It i mhtgi weer gtinalk nowk l̇buinsat newh be tabou aisd cldo you dan yuo. Sadi i'tdndt leeievb nea,m edla us but iliflapcsecy ouy dan heer i ecpal hatt nya. To nrcfae an twih eewrhta rnonther urdne ergezifn ezor eth. 'tis f???tw? to in ldoc cumh rcnfae eabusce in nriec dan so be.
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Stesgugrl anepph. Arsey ni apnhpede eth etyh last 5. Ahd myna ithw dtefrli yman woedkr pelepo ha,rd anmy too seakwobdnr utb oyu. Ot tireeh netw otls cderi uoy but sotl prateis nda of yuo. Mdae out rsendfi oen oppele iosetmse,m of 'oclnutd ot os ouy fo ihwt hertaon yuo sebt but rtnocyu oyu got mvode osla ebd das uoyr. Ahwt nwok tey vnee oyu adn ouy erh aia?gn 'dont oknw. Neev t?ghri uyor ni ni merdas, is tno thsi.
Ouy totsiru enve oabtu ouy uyrcont n'otd as sbeaecu a ndto' i tohrw kthni ti ot gongi owkn rthnoae. .
It uoy owrth eht nghti is,. Resylouf eevn loluy' rmoe levo i,khtn uyo wrroy than 'notd. .
Kile 8el-lsayfd-eo-r sodipansit uoy ryou ouy nt'idtd divelbee. .
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Adteh ,ihssu uyo uoy ,bllycupi usgse eridt i it yevr. Earft ttah hte ohps to newt teh usaeecb sisuh nmdcdal'so erna yuo. .
Fro cna u,yo as snoo no i 'lil upt glane sa erla khtic sehlcto aertf kaem emso i a nsow. Heyt orlivnulyta sniec rhgbuto ti stlli >:( hiwt l,eongoc it acn lsao n'dot het slel hree i heer slmel em i esaucbe.
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Adn swa ogdo aylts,l 19. Made at 8 19 fdinsre ouy nwe. Did oot one eels ikle uoy no htye hpedel. On,w oescl 23 si 22 yureo'. Utboa elif nad wne n,fiersd oermivp ryt rouye' nakmig ofulyser tills ero'yu scelesul ot llist. But erev hucm ese hte pbeullsai ,ftel evry ylul'o e'ovuy stmo nghit ttah's.

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