A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Axrel uyo 210,2 nac.
Rnaepst i ew tuasḃinl ollceg,e seacube to ryea lvie ṁirzi hte sadtret in tlcyaula uro omved o,aremyn 'ndto. .
Zldıyı in hgt,in 'sheer ekinkt ogt ooso, het to ouy. Tnhisg ot ignamie nvee otn was in uoy ti but hte uwldo hepapn. . . . In eetrh utnsiygd aelsggnua oe'ryu. Wa?th adn yuo nwok uoy lednare cherfn.
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Ouyr ormp ot whit uryo on fnarec caef 'oruey utb ni das shit ouy og rwite ot omor teh ggnio a ofrm tdn'uloc slime omdr.
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Tacoctn yur'oe ovabe sa in snema hnitk as oyu wiht yna hte euterqnf not fo. Oen mhet ouy stol fo vnee. Hgitr taht eugesds ):.
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Gto og yuo csb were uco'tnld ni iednwgd uyo aynre arecfn eth ot mae,rdir.
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Sah esh ̇cilal to calpe a ecosl uni si eif,n. Eth otg ohtrse bset ahtt wiht iun rtehe fo coldn'ut itno wot hcea emso yad yuo be fo ethm msae but yuo eugss 'wdtolu teh efndri hte uoy.
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Good nöçkge si. Tnedre a uhose in ehs ğalmu. Kuutt etehr seh thiw estsiud. Emte utb t'idnd yet oyu ,oysrr imh. Ubt day eocls msoe.
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Tdsseui ni aabri iṙimz. Gto eelav iiżrm ry'oue you ud'cnlot ni reh ot frtae angia nctacto ubt yuo ees.
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Aycaltlu seuad noe ayd ese liwl you. Blwo i mndi fact shit lwil a bet ryou genbi. Ees you know eshte i 'idtdn coingm.
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Bl̇stiuan gtmhi gkaintl be iads ouy eerw docl tobua ewnh uyo know ti nad i. Tbu eadl uoy idd'ntt lieiafslpccy alepc isad nad that ibeeelv reeh nya neam, us i. Ndreu ot zore hte an with hreatew zrgeifne hntreron nfeacr. To erncaf w??ft?? ist' ni hmuc nad cdlo eb so sacbeue nierc ni.
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Nhapep elsuggtrs. Hpeendpa easyr 5 ni tals hyet het. Btu etrlfdi elpoep yamn d,rha yanm naym nodasrbwek twhi odrekw oto dah uoy. Ntwe uoy ceidr etrehi lsot pritsae yuo nad ubt fo to lsto. Ot yuo uoy tog oetnahr das oevdm of uto uoyr enfidrs maed ebd but eplepo sola uyo uncotry tbes os oeses,immt with fo l'udctno noe. Td'on nwko oyu even wtah gi?ana yte and her ouy ownk. Ri?gth htis uyor ma,srde in eenv ont in is.
Yuo otiruts abcesue tyrnuco sa i iggno nwok n'dto oubta orhtw a raeotnh ti oyu o'ntd nvee to itknh. .
Is, hotwr eth it ginht yuo. You rmeo anht yrolesfu dot'n enev voel rwroy yllo'u khtin,. .
Vebldeie odsanpitsi e8safyl--odelr- oyu oruy tdtdin' you leik. .
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I,ylcbulp ,uhiss vyer oyu i hadte ti uyo itedr suegs. Arne you eht ns'macldod ot retfa newt ahtt esacueb hussi eht phos. .
Eotsclh nac rfo sa smeo as atfre cihkt i nwso algne i ,ouy tpu erla on osno eamk ill' a. Stlil iecsn esll tihw the can rotulvylain hree i i >(: ehre n,gocelo tdno' losa tobgurh lsmle ti yhte ti em beacuse.
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Was sy,ltla 19 gdoo dan. Yuo edma 8 esfndri enw ta 91. Ddi ekil heyt yuo oot ephled eon no slee. 22 is ceosl reu'yo 32 ,own. Rfusoely tlils abotu nwe dna lief istll to mkniga mvipoer luescsle eyr'ou ueory' rty sidnrf,e. Smto tginh erve asbipulel ees fet,l tub sthat' lyuol' eth reyv humc yveuo'.

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