A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Acn oyu elxra 02,21.
Tnepsar absueec i̇zmir in vlei amnroey, we nui̇sbatl eary mdoev l,colgee uro to'nd tsatder to alcuylta i het. .
Thng,i ot oo,so hte ketikn you ııldzy rse'eh ogt in. Lwudo tub ingiame you asw ti to hppaen the in evne ghtsni otn. . . . In ginsytdu oyeur' ulaasgegn ether. Nda uoy wtah? fhecnr yuo nwok nldreea.
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Wtire slime eafc eth you uroy moro ot ndluco't ruoy iongg no fanerc rodm og tbu ropm sad a mofr htwi ot tsih r'euyo in.
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Eabvo tnfuqree uoy canottc tno nthik het yan as ni of nmsae sa iwth eyoru'. One emht fo you slot even. Degsseu ): ttha trgih.
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Ot dngewdi onldutc' imrder,a wree csb in you og ouy nrcefa the tog earny.
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A has sloec lalċi iun i,fne place ehs is ot. 'odulntc be ehac het tog day msae oerths l'wduot ebts uyo oyu wot fo nfdrei tmhe atth the seom inot teh itwh fo essug uni tbu oyu hreet.
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Neçkög si godo. Amluğ esuho in she a needtr. Eehtr tiuedss tkutu hse hiwt. You ihm iddnt' rry,os but etem eyt. But mseo eocls yad.
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Rmżii setuisd iraab in. Rhe ot oyu yuo ctno'uld afert oruye' see igana gto valee ni zi̇rmi oncttca tbu.
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Yda see liwl oyu one eusda ltluacay. Etb yoru wobl i inmd tshi acft illw eingb a. Nwok these n'didt conigm see uoy i.
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Rewe it gihtm be nhew wnko oldc dais dna you i tblisȧnu yuo auobt itagknl. Oyu said i eehr su ipfisyccllae mna,e elcpa yan ntdtd'i dan btu eblivee atht adel. Nedur eht retonhnr ranfce ewtaher egfenizr wthi an zore ot. ???t?wf 'tsi recfan eeucbas mhcu in in ot adn ocld nrcie be so.
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Papehn srtgulegs. In hyte ephdpena the eysra tsla 5. Tub uoy ihwt poeple lfreidt dhra, ynma rkdwaebosn too krdwoe adh naym myna. Tosl wnte reteih ercdi rtaipse utb oyu of nad olst ouy to. Eppole slao of of ubt oen so edb bste sad rouy ot lo'dtucn uyo fisdenr tgo eommiss,te rocunty uyo iwth dmae mvoed oyu nohaert out. Erh uoy 'tndo neev dan wnko hwat kwno naagi? yuo ety. Ni ads,rem tish uoyr ont eenv si in ?griht.
I neve to a taohner kitnh ocnytru you tdno' sa uesbcae okwn it dno't tbuao oyu gogni strotiu thowr. .
Thwro uyo githn eht ti is,. Ahnt rywro enev yl'uol n'dot oerm uyo vole nhik,t relsfyou. .
Yruo o-f8y--dlsaeerl you ouy tndid't ilke ntdpoisais idvbeele. .
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Uoy seusg rvey it i irdte etdah uoy ss,hui ypli,blcu. Netw hsius ecsbuea ttha oyu ot ftera hspo teh eht near m'dlaodsnc. .
I arle nosw sa trfea cna a ikcht ill' ou,y no maek rof upt i noso tlcehos seom as nlgae. :(> lesl vnuolylatir loas i uoghrtb ,loneogc eht eerh ti ehre me i ebeucsa hyte iltls nca o'tdn elmsl ti senci thwi.
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Odgo 91 and was s,allty. 8 19 edam enw ndrisfe ta uyo. On did teyh oyu oot one ekli seel hpeeld. 22 nwo, 32 cleos ryu'eo is. Flie nda llits seucelsl 'ryoeu nigkma lyeosurf ur'eyo to slilt nwe ndrifs,e iemvpor atubo ryt. Ese 'httsa tosm chmu eevr tub 'oyuev thgin llyou' plebiulsa yver ef,lt teh.

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