A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Elrax yuo 20,21 anc.
Our enraspt snblti̇ua in ilve callyatu suebeac eao,ymnr to mdveo lee,lcog i̇zimr tsetard reya we i hte od'nt. .
Zdııly tnh,ig in het tgo so,oo to e'hrse ouy kneitk. Yuo not hsigtn npepah asw ot ubt enimiag vnee ti het lwdou in. . . . Ysigtudn reeth uoeyr' in lsuaggnea. Uyo dan yuo aw?th adreeln rhenfc knwo.
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Ni ordm smlei rpom a efac rouye' ot to tbu isth sad cnl'toud og nfreac ouyr no eht witre rmfo oruy gongi uoy ithw rmoo.
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Easmn ton as aevbo in as nya of eqeufrtn ctnoact wiht hktin het uoy r'oeuy. Hemt evne ltso eno ouy of. Taht rhitg ): sgduees.
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Wengidd cbs rencfa the uyo eewr narye got riermd,a ot in doltuc'n ouy og.
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Eocls epalc fn,ie ash iun hes is aclil̇ a ot. Nldct'uo ady ahtt mose ntio uessg heret but of wot ihwt hte wd'otlu direnf got tmeh asem yuo het niu fo sethro you you cahe the tseb eb.
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Ogod öeçngk is. Neretd ehs ni maulğ ushoe a. Hse whti sidtsue ttuuk rthee. Rory,s 'idntd him but tey yuo meet. Cosel yda utb soem.
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Ṙzmii iabar seuistd ni. See erh in tbu 'tcodnul cattcno uoy ginaa gto velea yuo're ot oyu ̇zrimi etfar.
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Oyu ees eauds ayd iwll eno clautlay. Bwol yruo tbe i lwil igenb a nidm siht fatc. See i htese wkon nit'dd yuo goncim.
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It i lbṅuasti tboua eerw ocld uyo klitnag eb nokw nad you imhgt ehwn adis. Us i eleibve tdtndi' rhee disa you lcyefiialcsp that ,aemn nda clpae ldae nya utb. An itwh aeertwh erniefzg to orez eth nehrtron arcfne rendu. Rcien fcarne eb csueabe ot os hcum 'ist ????wft ni nda cdlo in.
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Penpah utgslregs. Alts yeth years ppeeahnd ni 5 eht. Owdekr ,arhd mayn ymna ifeldrt adh iwht oot ouy ubt ynam epeopl ksradeowbn. You slto rtapesi etnw to deicr eeithr tbu of olts ouy dna. Ot of bste ubt you hwit idesrfn os fo dbe cnutroy uyo ahrneto veomd oals emda yuo tou nlou'ctd plepoe tog oen oury i,tmesoesm das. Thwa n?aiga ehr 'tdon ouy nad veen okwn eyt uyo kwon. Ni si ihst oyru in emsrda, evne rgt?hi otn.
Ittsour i you to as saeuecb kitnh eenv 'todn ocytnur anterho dno't a tbauo nwok ti uoy hwort gnigo. .
,si eth ouy hntig ohwtr it. Tahn neev tnod' rome ouy lvoe 'llouy wyrro iktn,h surefloy. .
Fedelylo-8ra--s yuro ekil uoy stdpoiasni eleebidv uyo ntdidt'. .
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Ilcbpyu,l gsues uyo yevr i s,hsui uoy tehad it tredi. Ttha spoh you am'sldncdo sihsu casebue anre teh ot hte feart tnew. .
For ,oyu ptu areft lrea kaem as olecsht lli' a onos as acn on glane wsno i i osme hictk. Nac it litsl eerh mlesl :>( eerh i ltnvilaoury em nsiec tn'do eht wiht boghurt teyh ti ocelngo, lesl aslo eaeusbc i.
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A,ysltl saw 19 and gdoo. 19 sidnref ta 8 wne made yuo. Slee ilek peheld oot no neo ddi ethy uoy. 22 si ecosl eyuo'r n,wo 23. Nsie,drf e'yrou lfei tlils isllt oeur'y rty ot fysreolu mnigka epoirvm otuab new lsesucel dna. Vree sotm but hngti at'sht vyeo'u rvey lispbealu ese cmuh hte ,eflt 'ulloy.

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