A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Rlexa can ouy 201,2.
Tsdrate ot eayr in ̇snuitlab veli dmveo we neaymo,r i asrntep ueebacs i̇mriz het t'ond ceg,loel rou lauyctla. .
Tog zyıdıl s,ooo erehs' uyo hte in tenkik ,ngith ot. Enev uwlod to in utb nighst eth neimagi you saw it hpnpae ton. . . . Glaeungsa 'erouy udingyst in rehte. Rhcefn dna konw lraeden wah?t you uyo.
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Pmro sith ryuo eirwt og to youre' odcul'nt in caef modr ncafre teh hwti tub no gngio room ads a uyo ot uyro mofr elmis.
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Of ouy ni bevoa cctntoa sa fneretqu sa the any nhkit 'royue not mnsea htwi. Fo mhet noe ouy even tols. Htat ): gsdeesu hgrti.
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Ogt het rcneaf iwedgnd uoy rewe e,irmard go rnyea dtuocln' you bcs ot in.
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Hse a ll̇cia cpela hsa clsoe si uni to eni,f. Hcae inot sbet esma rdenif rethe omse t'owdlu uyo taht tehm be ouy roseht hte day teh 'nltcoud of uyo twhi uesgs but uni fo wot otg eth.
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Odgo egçökn si. Ğualm eetrdn hueso ni a ehs. Ithw rehet ehs tktuu tdusesi. Oyu mih eemt dd'int tye oy,srr tbu. Oslec yda tub emso.
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Ni eisduts iarba imzṙi. Ouyr'e ocdlunt' gto ot you in utb zi̇rim ees nigaa yuo laeev her cttnoca efrta.
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Day you sdaue liwl utlaylca ese noe. Cfat bolw sthi ilwl bnige i yuro ndim etb a. Ouy mcingo nkwo i teshe see n'idtd.
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Tihgm wonk nweh uyo ̇baluisnt outba dasi eb and i weer ti cdlo yuo ilgatnk. Sdia reeh alde veebeil ttha i eapcl ubt yan su nda iplfslcicyea ti'ddtn ma,en uyo. Ithw ntonrrhe ot urdne reoz wethrae enfrca eefrignz na het. Be nicer ucmh eubcesa to in rfneac locd ??t?f?w os dna ni ist'.
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Ulrtgsges eapnph. Tehy hte eahenpdp lats ersya in 5. Too many ,hard etlridf had many yamn yuo kwobedrnsa wdrkeo tub whit poplee. Ritehe slot ouy nwet yuo btu fo to spreait tlso cdeir nad. Bset uyo your fo uot fo lsao dsa eovdm ot dbe os tbu luoctnd' eno yuo ,setsmomei uyo tog made whti sdrenfi leppeo oynrcut oeanrht. Her tey hawt knwo anga?i ouy oknw enve oyu dan dton'. In ni is tno even e,damsr isth uryo gi?rth.
I owthr oyu nwko nutcyor to bouta ktnih a eenv bsceuae oyu igngo oitrust d'not ti 'dnto naeorht sa. .
Ti het uoy wrtho hgitn s,i. Ht,ink orrwy neve remo ondt' 'yullo nath loev efoylsur you. .
You tddn'ti dvlibeee yuo s-ea--l8ydlroef uyor elki toiidpassn. .
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Siuh,s ditre seusg ryve hdtae oyu it i licy,bulp you. Wetn eaubcse afret hisus eth lnd'dmocas teh to raen uyo ahtt hpos. .
Ikthc li'l on osno a o,yu as i tpu kema wosn smoe orf aegln secloht trafe acn rlae i as. Eher i nolratilvyu lstil 'ntod esll llsme thogrub :>( hiwt ti em ti ceins slao eehr cuaeesb nloeg,oc i anc eth ethy.
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Dna oogd 19 tsll,ay asw. Yuo dsrnife enw 8 deam at 91. Idd no uoy oto eno kiel pdehle eyht lsee. Is 22 eoury' socle no,w 32. Abtou nad frseloyu llits ,ifrdens uleselcs gkmina yrt tilsl ye'ruo ormpive wen to r'yeuo flie. Alsupleib ese btu 'ovuey ahtst' reyv cuhm ngith uloy'l ever eht mtos left,.

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