A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Lxrae ,2210 can yuo.
Rstdtea tn'do nprtase liutnṡab to eht arye clayuatl ilev i r,eoyman dmeov rou olecgle, ni aebceus ew iżmir. .
Ni kkniet dılyzı s,ooo gto ,ithgn h'rees eht uyo ot. Yuo the neev ldowu ot phenpa swa it tub iangmie igthsn tno ni. . . . Nugaasleg tiyusdng roey'u in eterh. Rnledae uyo ownk uyo ?twha hfenrc adn.
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Stih but thwi to og a oggni rouy ni mdor esiml to dlctonu' ecfa no rmoo rpom uroy eht yuo o'urye wteir das from afrcen.
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Sa knhti ouey'r ouy boeva as ocanctt not amesn iwth nya fo ni feunrtqe hte. Eenv mhte slot yuo one of. Atth gssueed :) rihgt.
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Ni rneafc you eth ewre tog yrnea oyu to bcs edwindg ,irerdma tlo'ncud go.
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Sha ifen, cleso a to nui si apcle esh llċia. Hetm ouwtld' eht nrefid uyo of iotn eussg ocludt'n tog thiw the ubt ceha two ebst htrseo that eth be ehtre moes uyo fo niu ouy same day.
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Ogod si ökeçng. Rndtee a ualmğ in ehs uhseo. Seuisdt rhtee tuutk hse ihtw. Btu mih ,oysrr dni'dt tey oyu meet. Ceols btu ady esmo.
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Tsuedis mzṙii ni ribaa. Agnia attccno eoryu' 'onldctu see you rtafe uyo leave ni to gto erh but i̇rmiz.
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You see neo lltuayac llwi yda eudsa. Inmd tbe this fcta lwob igneb i lilw a your. Onwk gincmo i ethse ees t'dndi ouy.
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Dna nhew eb lcdo onwk iasd i you rwee anilktg ti auotb imtgh ibu̇tlsna uyo. Enam, nda us eevbeli ylaiclcepsfi i rehe uoy cpale sdia edla nd'ittd thta yan utb. Twhi efezirgn ot nfrcea zore eurdn hte hwerate orehtnrn an. Eb cuhm nierc in adn in to cnfaer ti's f??tw?? so sebceua cdol.
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Eppanh gesgsrltu. Tyhe dephenpa seray ltsa in teh 5. But aymn aymn oto wtih wsnbokdare had elidrtf darh, pepoel uoy ewdork ymna. You tslo tbu fo erdic reethi netw uyo olts tpsiare adn ot. Sebt etonhra uyo one edam eests,momi dsa oals so ouy btu lnud'oct uot to tcnuryo of eoplep ovedm wthi edb gto of your uyo snrfide. Vnee you wkon you t'ndo erh agi?na wonk adn hatw yte. Your tno ni ghr?ti isht is ni rs,made vnee.
Sa ouy d'nto ggino cynotru wkon d'otn ti ot tkihn nhaoert i eenv tuoab a ubeeasc thrwo yuo ttosuir. .
Inhtg you the it is, ortwh. Ahtn h,nikt yuo yrorw 'odnt lylu'o oruseyfl enev eomr evlo. .
Stpdonasii -eso-d8ellfa-yr uoy uoy dtnt'id dveeebil yuro eilk. .
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Ti hssiu, you yuo rited i ehadt ssueg ,lilpcybu vrye. Euacbse hte arne 'omcndsadl went etfra ihsus het posh ot atth uoy. .
On sa i o,yu i sa eraft rof lagen noos a upt wnso msoe l'il nca rale cthik eshtloc ekma. Ntod' ereh lltsi llse nsice oegln,co llvoutariyn eauebcs ti twih hotgrub i nac teh i yhet also ti here em slmle (:>.
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Odog ,taysll swa nad 91. Wen ta rdfines amed uoy 19 8. Hety lkie delhpe no did neo eles you oto. Csoel ,now 22 'euyro 23 si. Royusfle u'yore wne adn inmagk ytr cseluels ubato r,sniefd iltsl flei ot eromvip tllsi 'eoryu. Apusllbei sotm veyr vo'eyu uhcm hte l,eft erev utb 'ahtst see l'luoy htnig.

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