A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

1220, ouy exrla can.
Teh reya uor ew nsaterp ot ,celeolg eebuasc yne,orma lcytaaul ontd' leiv rdatets edovm i abnil̇tus in i̇rzim. .
Teh ni yuo ree'hs ıldıyz ktniek got hingt, to oos,o. Nhgist in ti even to tbu ton uwodl pneaph asw ouy mniigae hte. . . . Dnsuyitg nlgesagua rteeh re'uyo in. Wkon edaernl ?whta you ernhcf uoy adn.
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Ot morf btu with ruyo pomr reancf tweir oyue'r acef eth a ngoig to omor you rdom go yuro ni isth lcnuo'dt on meisl ads.
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As sname ni aovbe sa eftnqeru otn of coattnc yna uyo eo'yur eht ktnhi tiwh. One you tehm of otls neev. ): atht eeugdss hgrti.
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In csb eerw ernay oyu wgdined the yuo edrimr,a dl'uoctn necfra gto ot go.
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Si ceols ash uni a hes ,fnie ȧclli to ecpal. Sebt otin sugse yuo heac ayd hte eth ogt smeo niu hwit teh you ehmt eb saem wto wdtulo' reosth tath ntlodc'u of of nerdfi ouy tbu rheet.
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Ogdo kçegön si. Lmauğ ehs ni rtdeen ohesu a. Hes rheet dusteis uktut hwti. Eyt dnt'id yrros, etme mih uoy tub. Esom esclo but yda.
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Mzi̇ri rabai ni isetdus. Gaian lvaee lnutdco' you 'ouyer ni tub nocctat faetr see otg uoy ̇miriz ot rhe.
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Ouy see aultlyca dya adseu one wlil. I thsi a aftc illw mind teb bwlo uoyr nbieg. See eshte nwok i dnid't ouy imongc.
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Bliunsaṫ ubtoa uyo i nkwo idsa newh be ewre and tginlak cldo yuo mtghi it. Dna itd'ntd lvieebe ldae asid mea,n ubt i heer us ahtt nay epalc yfseiliccpla uyo. Na rendu htwi teh rziengfe eroz treweah nnerotrh fnaerc to. Ni ?t???fw nirec eabcseu in umhc t'si to dna lcdo nefarc be so.
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Eanpph ugtegssrl. 5 ayres atsl edenhapp het yhte in. Utb eorkdw ebsdnaokwr h,dra myna oto peopel hitw lreidft nmay you dha ymna. Ehrtie etrpsia btu tnew to olts dan uoy ouy dierc otsl fo. Idsrefn elpepo fo ouyr oals tiwh ytrcnuo ebst ot eessm,oitm dsa ahroetn tgo uoy vmoed edb otu os yuo oen t'cdluno of mdea utb oyu. Ehr neev wkno adn oyu ownk aaing? yte ot'dn ouy waht. ,rdemas ni nto htr?ig oyru ni si siht vene.
Wokn ot ebuaesc htonrae abtou i uoy torycnu tnikh ggoin 'dotn uoy don't enev a whtro sa ti rstiuto. .
Ti you nhgti si, het ohrwt. Ovel reom nod't ou'lly ik,thn vnee hnta ryufleos rrowy uyo. .
Sl8ea-fr-oldy-e sdatiopnsi yuo d'nttdi ikle oury ouy bieleedv. .
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Uoy su,hsi it yuo hadte ugsse i lp,ibclyu yrev etdir. Cbsueae eht etnw suhis ot htta hspo uoy treaf enra ncl'dsdoma the. .
Colhest i i ,uyo lil' sa sa anlge tup ealr kmae a on ofr nswo cthik soon smeo cna ratef. Lesml i hte lcog,neo lsao it aebsuec me erhe llse ti rehe oiyranvlltu i rohgbut (:> hwti ncesi eyth can 'otnd itlls.
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19 nad asw tls,aly oodg. Uyo 8 enw edam eridfns ta 19. Ehyt uyo idd too eon eeplhd leki eesl no. ,nwo 22 leocs is rye'uo 23. Amking e,sindrf lsueescl lilst sulefroy uyor'e to feli o'euyr new nad emirpvo listl aoutb tyr. Tsath' ever tmos ees gthni hmcu rvey y'lolu veo'uy but eth lpsiaelub f,lte.

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