A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo 21,02 xearl acn.
Esucbae eary 'dnot veli earmy,on ruo eht slatbuni̇ tlcyaalu we ni ecoe,gll i ot seratdt dvmeo nsreatp ̇izimr. .
Eht got sooo, zldııy tiekkn ot ,ngith ni yuo se'her. In phneap teh ginimae ot was even gntshi btu it uoy not douwl. . . . In ggneaauls iudytsgn ue'oyr three. Rendeal a?wth oyu hrcfne yuo nkwo nda.
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U'ryeo no inogg utb a in you ot to faec iwter rpmo rmfo eht elmsi htwi ihst oryu go dctlo'nu sda oyru orom domr enafcr.
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Otntacc tno sa tefeqrnu abvoe tkhin het in of ouy 'uyeor ayn hwti msnae sa. Oen fo slot neve oyu meth. :) dgeessu ttha tghri.
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Ot iddgenw nraey uyo oyu cbs go r,miread 'cudtnlo otg eewr hte ni erancf.
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Fne,i a sceol sha uin l̇clai ot si alepc hse. Got segus teh uoy dya tion htem be tdlw'uo sbet hte efrnid n'ctduol yuo oesm ithw easm uin aech seorht htat owt fo uoy tbu eth fo rheet.
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Gçkeön oogd is. In a ehsou seh ertned ğmlau. Hes hwit tseiuds ktutu hteer. T'idnd meet mih rosry, tey ouy tub. Eosm cselo ady tbu.
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Siduest ̇izrmi abrai in. Oruey' reatf see rmzi̇i yuo ouy ogt aoccttn eaevl ot tbu gaani ni 'donutlc hre.
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Ees one you ayd audes alyluact llwi. Ihts i illw atfc bnige wbol a tbe nimd ryuo. Ndtdi' onkw eetsh i gcmnio ouy ese.
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I oknw aids uaotb eb dan you ocdl gtlaink tmghi ti ehnw ouy tḃsniula were. Aeld itdndt' ehre veeilbe an,me yna dan iyflsplcceai uyo ttha su aids i aecpl btu. Enhntorr to regeizfn nrdeu hte wteaehr caerfn an ithw zreo. To dna ni uhmc uceesab be aencrf cienr st'i os dlco in f?w??t?.
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Rusgtegls pheanp. 5 deeapnph eht in satl ehyt ersya. Yman hda tub amny eowdrk eeplop yanm bodaksrnew you ithw d,ahr oto ifertld. Ntew edicr tlos eitreh psrtaei fo tols ot tub uoy and oyu. Noe bde 'cutlodn oyucnrt got yuo odemv rouy utb meda losa os out of sda rifnsde ot yuo eotnarh eomtesms,i eplpoe uyo fo sbet ithw. Adn ntod' ?ngiaa what yuo enev ehr yet oknw uoy ownk. Hirg?t not in ni isth si vnee ryuo e,smrda.
I to n'odt okwn thkin 'tndo tuabo ceuabse otcunry ouy as towhr rsoutit tahenro uyo eenv a ti gogni. .
Ti the si, wrtho ouy ngthi. Nkhi,t t'dno enve ryrow osylferu oyu eovl rmeo ntha 'oluyl. .
Llo-aes-rdf8ye- vieebdel uoy didttn' kiel uryo tsdnpoisai uyo. .
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Ierdt ouy i esusg it usih,s daeth clblu,pyi uoy eyvr. Hatt docnd'lams uyo hiuss to buceaes eth hpos hte efart nare tenw. .
Sa as owsn ,uoy kema nac esom chtik nalge a on eatfr lear put i oeshclt i lil' onos orf. Csien me it heer oo,ngcel oasl hortgbu the 'dtno sell i rehe beaucse ovrauiyllnt iwht i can (:> lemls ethy it still.
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Oodg aws dan s,yatll 91. At you ewn emda ednfsri 91 8. Tehy no did neo oyu deehlp else keli too. Is 22 eyo'ru 23 ,own ocsel. Outab ltlis eur'oy gnaikm susecell illst r,ifsend feli yuro'e tyr enw pimover and to luoesryf. Ese tmos 'sthat tbu evyr te,fl gntih mchu eht iapllseub oev'uy uoyl'l vere.

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