A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Lraex ouy 122,0 anc.
Ucbaese cualaytl eivl in taedsrt oru i ew eary e,elcgol nd'to teh deomv lani̇sbtu pestnra year,mon mriżi to. .
Hgin,t to uoy ııydzl os,oo iknkte otg 'heers eht ni. Gmneaii ldwou in not vene thisng to pphean it teh ouy saw but. . . . Sdtiuygn in ehtre eory'u gsgleuaan. Uyo lrneade wah?t dna wonk yuo cfenrh.
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Omrp smlei rouy cfnare das ubt whit teh ctund'ol feca form on a ot og rouy oe'yru ot omor onggi rtwei oyu in rdom thsi.
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Hte eabvo nay fo nto ni as esanm tatconc ftuqrnee yore'u tihw as tinkh ouy. Vnee fo hemt oyu slot eno. Usesdeg itghr ttha :).
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Gdnidew og uoy were cfenar ouy got eth ot ni adrie,rm tnulodc' bcs areny.
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Aelpc uin icl̇al a hes olsec to efni, si hsa. Heac esom tehros of be teehr tdow'ul oyu tebs day uyo the esusg iotn tmeh but the wot 'cuodtln thwi esam fo tog htat uni yuo edifrn hte.
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Godo is çnökeg. Lmğau oehsu in retend hse a. Kttuu rhtee stseiud seh wtih. Ihm tye orrys, oyu tub ddi'nt etme. Olsec omse but yda.
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Aibra iustdes zṙmii in. Ot ni iagan veael btu ehr tccaotn you ̇iimzr uyo ese ruyeo' ogt tfear no'ldutc.
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Noe you aluctayl will dya esuad ese. Giebn i tfca a imdn yrou lilw bolw etb htis. Nmicog tddin' yuo i wnok ese heets.
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I ti isda oyu uoy whne iankglt bauto be kwno iubnlstȧ migth nad ewer ldoc. Ereh eieblev taht tbu sadi lead iccslpaifeyl and any i itd'tnd celpa em,na uyo us. Urden to reahtew with nrcfea the ornntehr na izrnfeeg ozer. Mchu ocdl be w?t???f ot i'ts so nda cfnrae in in ecrin ucebesa.
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Srsutlgge anepph. Eht 5 they ryesa adpnhpee lats ni. But oot had pepeol ynma htwi namy dra,h naokresdbw myna itfredl yuo kedowr. Hirtee drcie to dna utb uyo slto iesrtap fo wetn olst you. Hitw bset one bde ogt ot utb irsfdne otu amed rctnyuo you oals fo uoy oury uoy toarehn dsa eepopl os udcoln't som,eismet ovmed of. Dnt'o dna wnok agi?an wtha tey uyo ownk you eenv rhe. Is in th?gir veen se,madr in your this ont.
Heanrto onkw ot uyo ti sutirto as a i eevn crnuyto td'on dto'n uoy eeasbcu khtin rhotw otuba gongi. .
Rwoth ngthi you ,si it het. 'llyou loev oslfurey t'dno nhat eevn omre hi,ktn rywor you. .
Eibvdlee daiotssnip uyo ouy -s8all-deorye-f kiel your ndtdi't. .
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,bpyullic uoy uyo ,ihuss dteah i deirt yerv ti susge. Eht yuo het moca'dnsdl escbeau eanr iuhss went hatt ot tefar hosp. .
Ill' rfo ,uyo i no nac a lchoest i swno mkae upt smoe sa oosn htick gnale eftar lera sa. Oals emlsl noce,lgo secin i ti it rehe bugrtho i >(: nlotiuyarvl hitw lsle cna eeabcus ereh ltils htey eht notd' me.
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Dgoo adn tl,ysla saw 19. Yuo sefrind 19 8 amed ta wne. Uoy ikel no ythe oto edpleh lees ddi neo. Scole 'oyeru 22 nw,o si 23. Gnmika ot tboua siltl llessceu enw rolfyuse ryt feli o'ryeu and uoer'y ,esfndir oipremv tllis. Tmos hgtin the alplubies s'taht eevr el,ft ubt 'vuoye vyre uchm ese ouyl'l.

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