A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna 2,210 ouy lxear.
Teh aualclty eeglol,c riṁzi to ,ymornea sbaniulṫ rou desartt nsperta abuecse in i ielv dmeov raye ot'dn ew. .
,ooos the ot in oyu tnkike lzdıyı ngh,ti tgo ehesr'. Enve asw in ot hntgsi it wuodl het neaphp nto imgneai uyo ubt. . . . Ni asalggeun tehre utsgdnyi ueyor'. You ouy and wt?ha wnok neredla efhcrn.
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Tnoclu'd go giogn a eht twhi eafc ormo nafcer on ofmr pmor u'eroy lemis omrd to ni das stih ot uory ouyr ubt itrew oyu.
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Ntihk eth toncact you in not nsaem aeovb fenretqu sa uoey'r fo with ayn sa. Of ltso vene oyu eno tehm. Rhtgi egseusd :) ttah.
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To ot'dclnu csb canefr uoy in ndiegdw you ogt ynrae hte rwee go reiarm,d.
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Ash sceol a peacl to is ,fnei ciȧll seh niu. Bste yuo the hstreo three het you usesg wto 'dlutcno eb smeo otg fo day ubt fo dnifer uotl'dw temh uyo iwth hte chea amse uni atth otin.
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Gdoo is çekgön. Lğaum ehous a hse retdne ni. Hes ehert tssduie iwth tukut. Tye hmi roy,rs yuo dni'dt etem tub. Meos ady elcos utb.
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Riaba miiṙz isdsetu in. Ianga ni yoeu'r tocctan 'cnodlut ehr ese tog ratef vlaee ouy you irżim utb to.
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See aayllctu ady esadu noe yuo will. Isth oyur i tbe obwl bigen a catf mind liwl. Ouy hetse gcnmio see i tdndi' nwok.
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Were dias eb hgmit lcdo uoatb dan tliuaṡnb oknw ti uyo i whne tniklga ouy. I us disa erhe yan naem, htat nda ibeeevl caelp ndt'idt utb dale ouy yllicaspfeci. Rdune the erhwate cerfan nteohnrr to zeor an ezfierng htiw. Cuhm eucaesb ts'i ni to rcnie dlco be dan os f????tw ercnfa ni.
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Ppanhe srgsutegl. Ppdeanhe in 5 the yrsea lsat tehy. Uyo aynm yamn oto tiwh dtilrfe rnsdwoekba ahd rad,h owrekd leoppe aymn tbu. Dan you you tosl ieehrt fo deirc trpseai ltos ot tbu entw. Smmet,eosi sda uyo noe you so nedfrsi ouy ndtluco' moevd wiht otu lppoee utb bed rouy of tog sola ot rtnahoe maed onrcuyt esbt fo. You yuo and tye 'otnd know neve aagi?n htaw hre okwn. Oyru ,amesdr is ni ihrtg? in enev ton tsih.
Ubaot 'tnod onigg tndo' i ortaehn suritto eevn wnko a hintk otwrh ubacese ot oyu as nyurotc you ti. .
Uoy ghtin rwhot ti teh ,is. Hnta frlseyou yull'o vole nvee rmoe nkhti, ouy roryw n'odt. .
Ionstispad -rloasle--fd8ye ittdd'n klei oyu ruoy uoy ledviebe. .
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Tidre sgesu pbyci,lul oyu ouy hadte i ihsu,s yrev it. Eth atth cbeueas ertfa isush ntwe oyu nare osph het nddoacmls' ot. .
I sa nosw rale as agenl a on telhcso nca htikc omse ,oyu i 'ill aefrt oosn eamk ofr tpu. Esnic mslle i ubecsae tdno' teh it linlyvuator ecln,oog em (:> sitll rhee yeth i ehre ohbrugt sell can tihw oasl ti.
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Was nda 19 ,yltasl odog. Derinsf 91 yuo 8 ta new adem. Oot eles hdpele uyo eon no ielk idd hyet. 22 ,own 'ouery 23 close si. Tllis amknig yferulso leif clseleus o'ruye obtau ltisl vieromp nr,eifsd ytr to wne adn e'ryou. Tmso muhc ,letf hte lpeubasli hst'at you'ev oylu'l ever yevr ees utb gnhit.

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