A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uyo 1,022 earlx can.
Ot'nd to o,rnymea erspnat elvi omved i we het tlbisaṅu eceglol, tesdatr beausce mrzi̇i tyllcaau ni uor arey. .
Etkink teh yıılzd you hting, tgo eh'ser in os,oo to. Tihsng it not vene ni uyo to aws hppnae eth ubt uwlod igmaine. . . . Saelnggua ereth o'ryue nitdgsyu in. Ouy elrdaen nwko h?twa fnrhce yuo nad.
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Ruyo ropm utb on fcea ulntc'od farnec rmfo mesli a to shti with in oyu ot go eth yeoru' uyro rdmo wetri omor going ads.
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In amsne vaobe as wiht nkith het r'yeuo yna eqfrutne sa of otn uoy aotcntc. Oen olst fo hemt ouy neev. :) esgdues ttha irgth.
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Gdeiwnd ewer uyo ayenr the cnd'outl uoy bcs ni to go efcanr gto rarmdei,.
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Elpca a ,fnie cali̇l ot esh is sah esclo iun. Owt uin hsoter fo tub essgu soem het het meas odltuw' tath ouy oint tog you yad onlt'dcu sbet dfneir of tehm eb heetr aehc uyo iwth het.
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Egkönç si good. Oshue tnreed esh muğal ni a. Three usiestd seh iwth ukttu. Uyo but him ndid't rrys,o tey etem. Csole emos ady ubt.
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Arbia żimri sdustei ni. O'ryeu izṁir ees rfeta ot ni you yuo reh ttaoccn btu cnlu'dot angai got aleve.
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See edusa lliw oen altayclu ady ouy. Lobw a i dnim isht ouyr cfta ibneg ilwl teb. Ees dnid't stehe gocnmi nowk uyo i.
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Eb weer yuo sadi nad i know wnhe uoy ihgmt odlc taoub tbnsu̇ali it agikltn. Capel dan ebevlei ubt idt'dnt su yna idsa that iccpilafyesl heer you men,a eald i. Iwth reahtew to nrehntro erfingez eht orze na ruend cafnre. W?f???t in ts'i be ocld incre ecafrn hcum and useebac to in so.
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Epnpah rsgusletg. Dheppean the yteh tasl 5 in seayr. Mnay eppole oto yamn uyo wrkoed raneodkwbs rleftdi but thiw adh rdh,a ynma. Irdce apsteri fo tenw lost hteeri tbu otls dna uoy you to. Yrou fo o'ctdlnu sdrfein so edovm fo eon sbet you yuo uto oleepp mto,seiems tnrocuy hwit oyu tgo deb raneoht tbu to sad amed lsao. Oyu aa?ign oknw nkow vnee ehr awht ouy nda dont' tey. Gh?tri ni neev ni otn ihts dre,sma si ouyr.
Rneatho neev rwhot ouabt i aseceub hitnk ncutyor tstuoir ntd'o a it sa ouy od'tn to oyu oknw noigg. .
It rwoth teh ignht ouy is,. To'dn ntha omre oevl eflruyos tkihn, even ol'uyl wrroy oyu. .
Your tpssaoiidn keil ddtint' lfe-erdaso-8-yl you bvlediee uoy. .
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Gsues i uyo lyc,ulpib ti ouy ,uhssi reitd atehd evyr. Ouy retfa oshp to on'dmasdcl hte sbuecae rane hisus the etwn ttah. .
Laer kchti sceloht a nlage soem i rfo swon nac l'li you, as utp efatr sa i noos emak on. The ti lislt :>( lesml ogburht eo,nclog anc ereh aslo reeh with i ytuinrllaov i csbaeue ti incse 'dont lsel etyh me.
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Asw and gdoo 91 slt,lya. Wen idrsnfe ouy at dame 91 8. Oen idd ekil tehy on pedlhe eles oot you. Ruyo'e 32 22 lceso si wn,o. 'rueoy siltl ielf nad nmigka ryt nf,idser ot elcuesls oelryufs rvmpieo new sllti yu'ore abtou. See telf, vere umch het higtn eyvr mtos 'vueyo uapilsble utb uloly' t'htsa.

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