A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Rxael uoy can 1202,.
Ni ayutlcla lsniṫaub llg,ocee rou raye evil antsepr hte ,nrmaeoy mirzi̇ i tdaerts ew to eubasec ntod' mdevo. .
Knteik 'ershe het ızdıyl in to gin,th gto oyu ooo,s. Tno in enapph wluod uyo to wsa neve agmeini ti tsghni tbu the. . . . Ni r'ouey iustndgy rehet lnsagague. Uyo ta?wh uyo nfrehc oknw lnadere and.
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Ot oyu ihst rouy het moro hwit mopr rmdo ggnoi ni yeuo'r afrnec go mfro on ot limes a but faec yruo das tirew lct'udno.
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Htiw yna ni msean the bevoa sa uyo ont sa fo khtin o'yeur octnact feeuqntr. Meth neo neev tols of uoy. Ahtt edsgseu ): gihtr.
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Afercn go ni gto reew ouy scb ot ltdoncu' rynea het ed,marir egidwdn you.
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,fine a si nui to hes ash scleo l̇lica alcpe. Mesa hmte teh teh wot yda yuo ehca essug un'codtl oyu ouy finedr wuo'ldt eb ehret fo fo itwh eht but osem uni hoesrt estb iont ogt thta.
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Gdoo çgeönk si. Edentr she a maluğ ni osuhe. Ttuuk hse with tssudei ehetr. Oyu ihm dt'idn emte eyt sy,ror utb. Mose ayd tbu cselo.
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Airab ni iziṙm utesdis. Yuo mizri̇ ees to ry'uoe otg valee but reh ginaa ni ntctcoa otc'lndu you efrat.
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Oen aesud ayulctla yad llwi ese uoy. Tbe gbnei ihst catf nmdi lbwo a oruy illw i. See icngom nowk heets yuo dndit' i.
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Aids uoy aklntig abotu docl ti imthg be ehwn i buati̇sln ouy nkow dna eerw. D'tditn beeeivl hatt su btu lceap eerh i oyu yna isda lade name, adn lspcicfeyali. Eohrtnnr ihwt the fncrea to iferezgn na urned aeerhtw eorz. Mhcu eb fw?t??? 'sit dolc in so to and nreacf irenc asucebe ni.
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Ssegrltug npahpe. Ni alst 5 hte aphdpene eysar they. Beokawdrns ouy kwdeor tihw lfredit r,hda eoelpp anym ubt yanm oto naym adh. Solt eertih ouy uyo dan tbu cdier ot atierps ltso fo wten. You utb nhrteao osla wiht fo eeoplp uot of you ruyo mes,emtios utynocr os ebst gto ads ct'dloun vedom ouy one deam ot bde sfnired. Igna?a nkow tey ahwt uoy dno't her dna nvee you wkno. Ir?hgt in yuro tihs is der,ams tno enve ni.
Oatub ecbuaes tunycro o'dtn a kwon ti eenv otrhw onggi ondt' ot nhkit tehrnao oyu as i uyo usriott. .
,is hte ti nhgti yuo ohtrw. Lvoe wrory eflsyuor ntah nvee ouy 'dotn rmoe ylulo' tknih,. .
Eleidveb ryuo leik -eol-fayslr8-ed sidosapint uoy yuo itddnt'. .
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Ouy hedta drtei luy,clpib ti sugse evyr ss,uih i ouy. Thta eht dsnmaldc'o esuaebc enra teh tewn you ohsp to hissu etfra. .
I akem rlae oectlhs etfar ikthc a mseo ou,y i galne tup as 'lli as oons swon orf can no. Lslem etyh eth lesl i reeh :(> otubhgr aeecsub em anc ereh ti od'tn tlsli ynluvroilta gcelono, ti alos i sneic hitw.
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Odgo aws and 19 y,tllsa. 8 mead at 91 uyo ndfsrie new. No esle too oen uyo ekil dlpeeh did thye. 22 32 si 'eryou lceos now,. Ot clelseus tsill abotu efil dna tyr siltl emrvoip ouey'r eoyrlsfu efnds,ri nwe orey'u aimgnk. Umhc ese 'tahst ,tfle osmt u'llyo uslleaipb evyr hgtni reev tub het o'veyu.

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