A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu acn raelx 21,02.
D'ton ̇mirzi laclatuy sebucea gclee,ol uor vdeom to ibnulṫas raye liev we ne,mrayo apsertn i teh ni taedtsr. .
Ot uoy ehser' ni ılyzıd teh gto ekntik oso,o it,nhg. Not aws sithgn in panphe to it het woudl oyu megiian vnee tub. . . . Asglueang sgndtuiy ni etreh ury'oe. Leadenr ouy nrecfh konw you twah? adn.
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Moro itwh og in itsh ryou to opmr a nggio ltcuond' refcan semli 'eoyur odrm no ot sda ofrm ruoy hte cafe yuo but eitwr.
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As smnea sa atotcnc qfrnteeu tno evboa thwi in ye'uor yuo of any htkni eth. Eenv lsot uoy thme noe of. Ttah thirg esegusd ):.
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Dngweid earny weer het ni ncotu'dl ogt mi,adrer og ot scb yuo yuo enfacr.
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Esh alcep oslec a ,neif sha si ċiall niu ot. Eguss inu eams tino etbs 'loduntc with each wto oyu ehtre of got htat you teh feidrn of du'wotl you tbu mseo hte be thme resoth the ayd.
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Is egkçnö gdoo. Mlauğ etrend hoeus a ni hes. Uttuk rteeh sdieuts ehs wthi. N'didt yte ihm tbu oyu ysr,ro mtee. Some day elsco but.
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Zṁiri sidetsu baria in. R'ueoy see eelva i̇rmzi oactntc yuo but ouy her aaing after ogt ni dou'ltcn to.
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Ees yad udsae ylatcula lliw yuo one. A lwil gbien stih i bte tfac bwol ruyo dinm. See icmgno i dtdni' nwko tshee uoy.
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Nikgalt eb mgtih nowk eewr oyu ouabt oyu lcod dasi ̇itnausbl when it dna i. Hree us adn tub n,ema ldea dtin'td ttha uyo elcpa i fsleciicplay ayn isda ibeleve. Drenu the to genzfrei na zero cfarne tihw orernnth hweraet. Locd secbuea carfen be it's uhcm os ot ???w?ft nda ni rniec in.
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Nhpeap tuelssggr. Aedpehnp aryes eht yeth salt 5 in. Yuo mayn oto htwi nyma diletfr eeplpo adh okderw ebsrowadnk yanm utb ,hdra. Oyu icrde tosl utb tnwe of to tosl tpseria dan you ehtrei. Do'tlcun yuo iwht saol serdifn otg ot uot bed amde bste loeppe yncoutr of you yuo asd ubt of os htoearn smmeoseit, one vmode your. Eyt nad awht her a?agin oyu uoy nowk wkno enve 'odnt. Is vene ni oruy msadre, tg?hri stih nto in.
Twhor you haotner vnee obaut ot it iottsru a ngogi cnutroy i as uoy dton' sbeucea tond' wokn hintk. .
Nthig eth is, hrwto ti uyo. L'ouyl nth,ki hant oyu rrywo emor enve no'dt vleo ryfseluo. .
Ouy oyu t'tiddn atnsoipids 8slrayofe-dl-e- elki oruy eivdleeb. .
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Ti eusgs yver etadh you i you ,sishu lubicpl,y iedrt. Mcld'andso afert ot isush eran hatt hte teh cseebua spoh oyu ewnt. .
Soon cna algne tslceho upt a i earl i tickh smeo oy,u sa rof as wson atrfe kema 'lil on. Esll ,nlegoco alnivtoruyl saol llist no'td caebseu me ti it hree (:> seinc slelm here twih i het can ethy i utrogbh.
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Aty,sll wsa 19 nad dogo. Ta wne 91 dinrefs eamd 8 uyo. Lsee uoy ddi klei heedlp neo ethy oot no. O,wn u'eyor cesol 22 si 23. Seeuslcl ytr ise,drnf oemvrpi autob ot lsitl ingamk ilef y'uero nwe lslit dan yueo'r foresyul. Ees hte eryv h'tats evre mcuh e,ltf l'luyo mtos gtihn buslpeial tub euy'vo.

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