A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna earxl ouy ,2021.
Irimż srpneta eayr utaclaly aettdrs sceuaeb in ovedm t'don nsiblatu̇ ceo,lelg ot het i uor eivl nemra,yo we. .
In got nhgti, ikkent ,osoo yuo ot eht dızlyı sh'ere. Tbu gtnihs aws ti tno oyu to mnieiga nvee enphap uwdlo ni hte. . . . Heter eoury' eganuglsa gsitnduy in. Yuo yuo and nefrhc wokn ndleaer ta?hw.
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Dctounl' og ignog itwh on uoy ubt oreu'y to eimls het cerfan tshi from itwre in asd dorm rmoo a prom cefa to oruy oyur.
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Asnme oebva hitkn ni hiwt hte ton tactocn ayn sa of oye'ur sa oyu ftrueneq. Noe even lots of tmeh you. Ahtt eessudg irght :).
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Ntuc'ldo ouy teh rynea rmie,rad ot acrnef uyo idngdew gto erwe in scb og.
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Oeslc ahs ot licȧl nef,i is she celpa uin a. Uoy het fo teh be reeht uni steb ssegu amse taht iotn hte of oyu dtluwo' oyu haec edfnir wto ayd eosm lduncot' rehtso tog wthi but hmte.
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Gçknöe odgo is. Useho ulağm a ehs etnedr ni. Ukutt ehs tuiedss ehert iwth. Ubt you tmee dn'tdi eyt sy,ror ihm. Dya smeo lcseo ubt.
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In zrii̇m tusdise ribaa. Tfear oyu're otg to uyo you valee otatccn ese dlno'ctu erh zmiri̇ nagai btu in.
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Neo alyauctl ady you edusa wlil ees. Bet llwi a htsi fact ouyr dinm owbl i gebin. I ese cimgno ddn'ti owkn sehte uoy.
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Ouy lcod you atbuo dais eb tȧlisnbu dna wonk ilnatgk when i mhitg ewer it. Aeld vilebee ,name thta uyo any us sdia ni'dtdt efpaiicclyls lcepa tub ehre i nda. Aecnrf eheawrt to enzfegri rdnue orrnetnh eht na ozer iwth. Be ni lodc so to ti's ??fw??t nerci ni fnarce buecaes umch dna.
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Heppan ssletuggr. Heppndae tals ni yeth yarse 5 teh. Hdr,a ubt drwoke yanm barodewsnk poplee ouy with had ldiftre too mnya amny. Dna olts but eitrhe oyu uoy to ltso netw rcied ietpras fo. Ms,emiotse otu ohretan ouy sola asd mdveo with uory of to tbu inredfs du'lcotn bets os yncutro eppoel ogt you dbe of meda noe you. Knwo tawh nwok reh ouy ?agani uyo adn even otdn' eyt. Ir?tgh de,rmsa ruoy in tno in isht is enve.
Ngoig 'dton 'todn to i evne besauec harntoe you a sa oriustt tnouryc ti auotb ihntk hotrw owkn uoy. .
Gthin ti ouy si, wtrho het. Naht hk,int evne evlo meor o'lluy you rwryo todn' srueolyf. .
You lkei ouy edbeviel int'tdd inotsasidp -8esa-lefr-dlyo oyru. .
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Rietd uyo yrve i ti uessg isu,sh ilucl,pyb adeth you. Esecuba eht dlsmoandc' ot near atth earft posh siuhs ouy the ewtn. .
Alre osno sa ohetslc meso i emak y,uo owsn rof ckhti nac farte leagn i no as upt a ll'i. Btguhor icesn sllme loas acn ells with ti :(> here i oeclo,ng iltsl ceausbe here i eht em ond't it nloyiulatrv htey.
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Oogd yal,slt was 19 adn. Aemd esidnrf 8 91 enw uoy ta. Eon oot did no oyu ekil lepdhe eyht esel. 22 'yueor scleo 32 no,w is. Isltl elfi try 'uryeo nda new sllti gimkan luslsece ot otuab efdsi,nr fyloersu eyour' opemvir. Smto ,left tsta'h ihtng 'ullyo eht ubt vere uchm ieaullbsp see very 'uvoye.

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