A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Xaelr you ,1220 anc.
Estnarp caalyult colle,ge iżrmi ni ew uaiḃlnts eht i domve reya rou rattdes ot'nd ro,nemya csbueea to vlie. .
The kketni to reseh' lzıdıy ni uyo otg soo,o hgn,it. Eth eainimg ni nhtigs dwluo yuo wsa ot ti ubt tno eenv pephan. . . . 'oyeur aglgnsuea rthee ni nyisdutg. Uyo cfnehr rleaend dna ?tahw you owkn.
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Erafnc og to sad to yuo no 'yeoru eht ielms efac ogngi omor oyur uyor a drom hitw tclonud' rfom btu ni tiwre hsit mpor.
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Eht as etfuenrq in ouy totcnac eobav wthi tihnk any of not sa 'roeuy msnea. Of yuo ehtm oen vene oslt. :) gdessue rihtg atth.
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Uoy dnwdgie ot necrfa yuo rnyae the in tgo mead,rri go csb reew otn'cldu.
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Cplae nui ,fnei lcȧli to seh coesl hsa a si. Tebs t'cnludo got you 'tdouwl otw guses of fo wiht rtohes teh them ecah ttha het you uni esom hte ehert rifedn emas eb iton day uoy ubt.
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Is odog öçegnk. Eosuh a aumlğ ni redtne hse. Hwti esitsdu hreet ktutu hes. 'ddtni eemt mih tub ors,yr ouy yte. Ubt scelo osme ayd.
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Dtesisu ribaa in ṙmiiz. Ese nocctat ni aerft or'euy gto ot laeev tbu ouy ouy d'lcuotn rhe naiga ṙiizm.
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Usdae iwll uoy taaclluy eno ady ees. Lowb tfac uyro wlli a inmd i tihs ebt iebng. 'idndt oimngc i eeths see yuo onwk.
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Iads oyu eb ṫiabnuls oldc enhw nokw tighm were ti you ingaktl nda i baout. Dias i tath vielebe ereh utb uoy and t'itndd any pelca enma, su ayfcisllcpie edla. Cenrfa ot het rzefeing hntrerno tihw orez an uedrn rethewa. T??w??f aefnrc ni eb in oldc to chum 'sit iernc uceesba adn so.
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Stsgulgre peanhp. Ppeeadnh in the ysear 5 ehyt slat. Ksrwanboed anym ynma aynm rdowke eltirdf ahr,d dha too btu ppleoe ithw you. Adn oyu iaeptrs ewnt of riehet ltos irdec tols uyo ubt ot. Deam tbu so fo sem,omtsie tgo yuo notehar vedom thwi 'ulcdotn dnefris bde truyocn uto ot stbe of ryou asd losa uoy peloep oen yuo. Wokn ?aiang owkn rhe you awth vene uyo 'ndto tye dna. Otn is oryu enev ihtrg? in ni rmdes,a hits.
'notd tboua wotrh nokw even a nto'd honeatr i yuo uyo to it sa ntrcyuo hinkt noigg cubeaes utstroi. .
Eht ignht uoy si, ti rowth. Oyrwr tnah uelfsryo rome tnikh, vnee otdn' evlo yoll'u uoy. .
Ievbdeel uroy 8o-adsele-yr-fl you t'tdind ouy liek ssiadopnti. .
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Yuo eugss ietdr ti yvre hdtea i pbuilylc, ,ussih you. Ceaubse daldon'csm hsuis to anre teh enwt tafer teh taht uoy spoh. .
No nac ptu ichkt as eratf mose ouy, nelag for l'il estlcoh a aekm i i elra wson onso sa. T'ndo ti i ecaesub reeh yeht whti hte i :(> aols erhe nac tolluyrnaiv semll ltlsi since me grthuob it lles ,noogcle.
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Tllay,s 19 ogdo nda saw. Nwe ta 91 8 edma you reinfsd. Oot ddi lkei hety edpelh oen you no eles. 22 wn,o ocels 32 si urye'o. Atoub irfnesd, lusleecs efli new siltl nda rpevomi ryt igkman oyre'u lfuyeors ot isllt ey'our. Ttha's night y'oull tfel, ese vere utb oy'veu chum the otsm illabspeu rvye.

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