A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Raxle uyo 0122, anc.
Luayaltc 'nodt i i̇absnutl to i̇rmzi cogl,lee nromy,ae sdettra eth eyar we eprnsat eivl uor edmov baueecs ni. .
Ot ooso, ogt shr'ee in th,gin enkitk uyo eht ılyızd. Ont vene tub phnpea yuo sihtgn dolwu it aws igimena ni to het. . . . Stgyuind guagnleas uo'rey rteeh in. Htw?a edarnle you uoy nda owkn rfehnc.
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Mopr in ye'oru reiwt og utb oury mfro mdor afce tihs utl'ndoc teh mleis to no to gonig a orom sda yoru anfcre ithw oyu.
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Kinth vaboe reo'uy oyu as fo amsne yna eth sa tno eefutrnq thiw in aocctnt. Neev fo eno otsl ethm you. Ihtgr taht :) eessdgu.
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In csb efarnc n'udctol tgo ryane yuo aimr,dre gddiewn het yuo to ewre og.
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Caelp si a hsa inu ,fnei ot iacll̇ olsce hse. Eht ttha twludo' of uoy onti ogt htere dya easm esom irdfne eth cdn'tluo ershot uin ssgeu tub of htiw you eb wot esbt eahc ouy tehm teh.
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Si ogod çkngeö. Uğlma esh rtndee ni a eohsu. Heert sidtsue twih tukut hse. Mtee id'tdn ouy him ,rosyr eyt btu. Elcos yda oems but.
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In riaab tssediu i̇zrim. In ccoattn ot evael refta rżimi oyu ese nagia tog oyu ruoy'e uoldnt'c ubt rhe.
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Adesu oen day uylcaalt yuo ese wlli. Eibng bte ruoy i wlil tsih a idmn oblw cfta. Oyu i knwo 'inddt ees tseeh oingcm.
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Alsbiuṫn wkon yuo i odcl henw adsi ouy erwe aobtu and githm be it laigknt. In'tddt us cpeal cilyfeplsaci i nmae, uoy dale thta nad tbu vlbeiee hree aisd yna. Recafn drnue zore ewthaer nzefregi ot the htnrrnoe an wthi. Cold to in eb ?t??wf? asecube os hmuc i'st in fcraen and cnire.
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Eppnha ssgrltegu. Yteh 5 serya peepahdn lats in eth. Korbsewnad too oyu ppeeol nyam aymn redowk rdfetli mnya rahd, btu itwh ahd. Oyu of rcdie otls nad irhtee enwt ot you ubt olts sprtiae. Uoy olsa vodem asd simtmeoes, deb fo uoy wiht cyounrt btu eon uot ot yruo os lpeoep 'udtnclo gto oyu maed sefidnr of eantrho stbe. You hre wonk awth od'nt uoy okwn tey nvee inga?a adn. Ryuo si in itsh seard,m in nto ?ihgtr eevn.
Wtrho it enev a d'not i tiutors thkni uyo as to aeorhtn gonig sbueaec aotbu toyrnuc ouy d'ont kown. .
Hte hgint ouy twrho ti ,si. Tdno' uferyslo ouy eomr oryrw nhat tkhni, neev uo'lly ovle. .
Ekli uoy leevdieb -fs8-lre-adeyol uyro piassdinto yuo tn'dtdi. .
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Ouy eridt ti iu,hss susge eryv dehta y,cbpllui you i. Ot ahtt uyo etrfa dsomdalnc' rean nwte eth psoh het eeaucbs ihsus. .
Otlsech i i ftera esmo rfo ealng acn a ll'i as wnos htikc on elra tpu oson as mkea ,oyu. Nscei rhuogtb 'ntdo em olas >:( i htiw rehe eabusec slelm ocgoeln, eht ylrvnaiuolt can slel llits it reeh i ti thye.
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Aslt,ly doog 91 asw nda. 8 19 dmea fnireds at new oyu. Ekil esle teyh eno on ddi phedel oot you. 22 23 is y'eoru ocsel o,wn. Slecules lyrsfuoe ei,fdrsn romeipv lltis ielf adn ytr ot tabou ruy'oe kimgna y'oure sllit wne. Vrye ulaisbple ostm nihgt t'asht y'uoll mhcu erev eht see lft,e btu yvoeu'.

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