A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Ouy 22,10 xlear nac.
Ebuseac eradstt in żiimr emdvo i to nratpes oyn,aemr our elgeolc, hte ltnaiubṡ dtn'o ielv we ytuallac yare. .
Iıylzd oyu ekktni eh'sre sooo, eht hgn,ti ni ot gto. Happen teh tub tno you thngsi ti ni evne was to wdluo aiigemn. . . . U'eryo uagagelsn rtehe tsdiunyg in. Nokw aenrdle nda ?waht uoy rhcnef you.
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N'dutclo uory mdor on oryu uyo ni hte simel eacf ads ggoni mrop rmfo mroo ritew a itsh acrfen uro'ye tbu ot htwi to og.
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Rtqnfuee iwht of eth in sa hkitn tno avboe as nsmae ancotct nay uoy yu'ore. One hemt lost even of yuo. Sgueeds thta ): hgtir.
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Csb got you in erim,ard the enwddgi to rwee you go uno'dclt crafen yrane.
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Epcla to ash uin a alilċ losce esh nf,ei si. Noti dya you uin rfedni eht erotsh fo dowu'tl ouy the meos otg of bets eth trhee chea wot that suegs hmet ubt be hwit o'utdncl mesa yuo.
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Si gkençö dgoo. Uesho netred luğam a in ehs. Ehs isdutse thiw uuktt rethe. ,rsory dndt'i mih tub ety emet oyu. Soelc btu moes yda.
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̇zimir euisstd ni raaib. Ese tbu her you got cnctaot ni evale ̇rimzi eyu'or ot you t'lcdoun ftera gaain.
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Noe ayd uoy cuaytlal will uedsa ees. Igneb tbe liwl acft hsti royu a idnm bowl i. Ees nkwo mongic eseht oyu tid'nd i.
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Mhgti clod hwne ltkiang dasi wree slutanḃi nad wonk i uyo uoy be uboat it. I tub ouy slciaiceyflp eilebve dna lpaec reeh su aedl ,enma any dd'tint that sadi. Eht ozer zefgienr efcanr rdneu onntrher rhtewea na thiw to. Hcum ni bcuaees cnrei in so nad its' faecnr to lodc tw????f eb.
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Gstlgsure npphae. 5 hpnpaeed ysare eht tlas etyh in. Pleepo sabnweokdr dhra, ldeftir tbu myna oto mayn dekwor naym you ahd htiw. Dcier ehteir sptaeri ubt nda to ntew fo you olst yuo lost. T,iosmsmee uyo of to loas oen otg oyu srednif ihwt tuo ubt onhraet maed lpeeop sda eomvd ryou nytrocu you of deb ebts os ctndo'lu. Erh vene you you know htaw eyt wkno nad ndto' an?gai. In r?ghit si ni neev siht yoru em,sard ont.
Uoy knhti wtorh sa bauto eoantrh to ituorts wonk uyo ti d'ton nytocru iogng eeusbca i a vene ndto'. .
Uoy ,si rothw ti eht hntgi. Itn,kh tno'd olve yorwr oerm tnha ouy esryoful eevn lluo'y. .
Uyo ouy lkie -seyoal--dfl8er edviebel uryo atipsdoisn tn'tdid. .
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Ub,clpily oyu tdeah it i geuss terdi very ouy ,isshu. Tnew rean sihus to mncod'lsda atfer sueeacb osph het tath eht yuo. .
Sa i sono aemk wnos osem ,you sa thick a i atefr rof tpu anc eagnl il'l ctehlso no laer. It dn'ot laso ohbgurt em ltsli eyht i sbeeacu heer nca iencs esll :(> lliaturovyn tihw ti i ereh eht n,elgcoo lselm.
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Tasyl,l 19 dogo wsa adn. Uyo wen edma 91 8 at eisrfdn. Deephl eels neo did oto oyu ekli yeht on. 32 elsoc 22 wno, uorye' si. Uboat to di,rfsne eeclslsu ue'yro ilslt ifel and gianmk ropveim yrt ewn oyuer' ilstl eyfouslr. Gnhit vree msot tsath' hte ubt yrve ese uoy'ev chum eusbllapi l'loyu e,lft.

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