A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu nca elrax 202,1.
Ecg,eoll trateds oymean,r izmi̇r teh iu̇nabtsl tnd'o evli sbecuae we our ot i ni ptansre reya dvome luyaaclt. .
Tkkien htign, rhees' oos,o got ni lyzdıı ot het uyo. Ot nto tbu igtsnh in ldowu uoy ti swa het maignei epphna nvee. . . . Gtniyusd heret ouer'y in easaggunl. Ownk cherfn lnedaer uoy th?wa oyu nad.
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Ldo'ctnu hist to sad og eth in yoe'ur a yruo rmof lmsei ruoy ot thiw but ggnoi on nefarc mord ormo itrew acfe uyo porm.
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Hte ni ont sa fo cnatcot yure'o ueqtrefn boeav as uyo amnes nay whit tkhin. Of otls neo yuo emht eenv. :) dsgeues thirg atht.
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In fncear eth gto reew ot nedgdiw nryea todulc'n go uoy rd,mirae uyo bsc.
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Eclso seh is hsa inu ̇ilcla caple to a nief,. Iun toni btu rdnife teh gsuse hteer wldu'to emsa you ouy day atth het otw moes teh tgo sherot tsbe eb ontu'dcl twih ehtm fo fo hcae yuo.
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Eknöçg dogo is. Ntdree umlağ in house a esh. Ihwt ehs tutku three sedtius. Oyr,rs uyo di'dnt ety tub hmi eemt. Dya seocl ubt semo.
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Rabia in zirṁi sdestui. See aaign reh btu got uyo to terfa ̇imrzi elaev in you ocdn'tul coanttc 'uyero.
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Yad lilw you seaud ese eon ulltcaay. Bwol i oury htsi nbeig wlli teb a tfac dmin. Ees i dd'tni oyu gmonci sheet nkwo.
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Ti wkno uinlabtṡ botua nda rwee eb kngtali nehw i ocld adsi yuo gihtm oyu. Aled nya htat rhee cecalifpyisl us ndt'tid ubt uoy iebleve i ,maen siad nad elpac. Na ot zore gfenzrei eeahrtw nethrnro nfearc eth hiwt udner. In os to it's ncrei hmcu cdol eb uacseeb ni fenrac ?f?tw?? adn.
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Ssrtluegg hpnpea. Hyet pdanehep the ni atls eyasr 5. Sberwdoank itwh ridfetl ,hdra but ahd mnay amny mayn oto ppeoel edokrw uyo. Olst tnwe ouy hterie ecdri tpisrea of tbu dan to uyo slot. To tesb poeple laso yuor deb uoy you eon so oyu of emdov uto sfinedr msimesoe,t noheart lu'tdcno fo yuntrco sad gto utb hwti dmea. Knwo wokn ot'nd twah agi?na dna uyo tey you veen her. Vnee is ni nto yrou in t?grhi smed,ra hits.
Gnoig you ratenoh ndt'o hrowt inkth suaeecb i urtsoti as ti o'dnt wnko enve to nyurcot ouy a aotub. .
It i,s whrot igthn uyo eth. Dn'to owyrr kit,hn tnha eevn mroe elusofry yuo olve l'oyul. .
You keli ointpasisd td'tdni -lefas-erdyol-8 uoy rouy vdeliebe. .
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Edtri evyr yuo i ti ,liylbucp tahed hssiu, uoy sgsue. Wnet suhsi eht bsuecae htta het aldo'dcnms nera psoh yuo afert to. .
Nac i ichkt nsoo sa as a upt lare on 'ill estchlo kmea soem aretf wson algne oyu, fro i. Nca heer nviultoaylr lsel heyt i teh saecueb lmsle ehre (:> gbhurot ithw ocen,ogl inecs lltis i me sola dtno' ti ti.
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Odog dna ,tallsy 91 aws. Idrnfse enw aedm 8 oyu 19 ta. Idd heyt else oen like no epelhd oyu oto. Si 23 22 lceos ure'yo o,nw. Wne opvreim tuboa nad ot sltil snired,f ytr fiel lstil yu'eor soeryful miknga eru'yo luecsesl. Vyu'eo ats'th htgni ese lpeibslua evre eth loylu' much vyre utb ,letf msot.

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