A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Aexrl you 202,1 nca.
Saetdtr cutaalyl ̇rzmii in le,celog 'nodt asrnetp evil uil̇ntabs sbecaue we hte aery uor i ot r,nymaoe vomde. .
Kktien eth in ıldıyz uyo ogt inght, s,ooo hsr'ee to. Ngisth the ot anehpp tno asw in uldow ti menigai you but evne. . . . Oryue' itdsyung ni laesgganu rehet. Elrenad uyo aw?ht nda ouy nowk fhernc.
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A oomr iths yrou btu das mpor in modr you to eth inogg eislm twhi oury og romf 'oreuy neafcr wtrie nldtc'ou to ceaf on.
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Sa fo het ihtw atccnot rfeqtneu amnes u'eyro otn ayn aebvo oyu in sa tnkih. Fo eon you eenv solt hmet. Htat sdegues ): ihgtr.
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Fraecn gto bsc oyu you og ot teh du'lncot in raimdre, ewre ndiwdeg yaren.
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Fni,e ahs elpca she seclo a is niu to cial̇l. Sgesu the got eth eht tnoi nui renidf itwh hace hmet dya you of wto sohetr you uontdc'l rehet esam be tub uoy of meos ebst dl'ouwt hatt.
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Genkçö oodg si. Lğamu in tdnere hoseu ehs a. Itwh siuetds kutut rthee ehs. Tndd'i yuo teem imh yet btu y,rors. Dya ceols utb soem.
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Riaba seisdtu ni riṁiz. Accntto uey'or ogt yuo ot in aterf aigna utb erh yuo alvee ees zii̇mr ctd'lnuo.
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Yulcaatl lwil one oyu see adesu dya. A stih actf i llwi bolw bnige rouy dimn etb. Ees ehset know i 'dtdin nmocgi uyo.
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Itmhg utoba i eb ṫasbluin iknglat nad ouy sida dcol it know wree nhew yuo. Us hree sdai iellyapccisf nda yan yuo lebveei alpec t'ddtni aled atht e,mna i tub. Wthi hreewat eth renafc durne ot an eozr iegnrzef nrenohtr. Cmuh ft????w adn so sbucaee enrcfa cdol ni ni ecinr eb ot t'is.
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Lgsturgse ahnepp. Serya hyet in 5 pedaphen stal het. Fedtilr dah oto yanm ynam weokrd btu hitw uyo ardh, skeanowdrb yamn oeelpp. Adn but theire ercdi uyo solt treaips uoy of ot wetn lots. Your dmea mvdeo uyo hwti fo i,teeomssm otg yuo ot sdeifrn dsa noe ubt epolep rnotuyc nltuco'd henatro sola uto bset dbe os of oyu. ?gaina dna t'odn oyu rhe kown you neev okwn yet ahwt. Neve is sm,edar hsit in trghi? oyur ni ont.
Ihktn ggino oknw oanhrte sa ti enev a rycntou 'dton dnot' uyo rsuotit uoy thorw ueabcse ubota i ot. .
It is, ouy teh rowth nghti. Htna yllo'u ermo ryowr loresuyf dot'n uyo khni,t neev elvo. .
Uyo yuo dnitd't royu elki llosr-fad--8eye apstsiodni eedblvei. .
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Yubp,ilcl ouy ti reyv oyu i shs,iu tiedr gsues atedh. Hiuss ttha ohsp yuo ot nera the slnaodmd'c teraf etwn ceebasu het. .
On tshloce alre i negal mose lli' sa amke ou,y a oons anc sa khict wnos orf put rtefa i. Bseaeuc i eth they lsle me elsml ti hree ithw (>: rluloaiyvnt ilstl o'dtn ceins eerh nceogo,l it torghbu cna i laos.
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Doog adn 19 swa al,tsyl. Enw 91 sidfern uyo dmae at 8. Seel dlepeh oyu one too ddi leik hety on. 23 si 22 wn,o r'eoyu elcos. R,efdnis tsill slucesle tyr rye'uo ivopemr gmanik tubao ruelsyfo ewn to ueoy'r and file sitll. Hingt eulpaslbi omts ,felt hte ubt ees ever uolly' ryev chmu 'satht ouve'y.

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