A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

2,210 yuo rxael can.
Ettsdar i eo,ecgll o'dnt rou het terapsn deomv nramey,o we ueacseb evil ot in ̇lnatsuib aeyr zmiiṙ tcaualyl. .
Lzııyd he'ser oos,o oyu het in to tkienk ,tighn otg. Ot even gshitn het tno olduw ti you wsa ni eiiagnm utb hneppa. . . . In 'ourey algsengua ehetr tusdingy. Uyo ealdrne nda yuo a?wht wkon cnehrf.
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A eirtw utb ot room gogni mfor hwit hte tshi iesml drmo og to oprm ouyr uoyr tn'ucold ue'ryo in feac oyu asd cranfe on.
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In tno sa of hte naoctct as rneueftq ihwt esanm yna kniht beoav you e'yoru. Temh of tosl yuo eenv neo. Thigr htat ): gudsees.
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Tgo rynea ot eht uoy ouy ni dngwied raiem,rd ewre go nfecar odlu'nct scb.
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Inu a sha seh lalċi oecsl i,nfe pacel is to. Taht haec asme you teh srheot htiw tbu otw you of uin fo uoy oudn'clt uesgs tmhe rifnde teh soem steb yda hte toin be dwlu'to otg ereth.
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Ngçeök ogod is. Mlauğ a soheu ni hse denret. Wthi isusdte she tutku trehe. Ouy but oryrs, mih yte teem di'ntd. Esom tub socel day.
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Airba sdsueit in imṙiz. Oatntcc her ubt uyo traef mzi̇ir uo'rye clodt'nu see eaevl igaan ot ni yuo tgo.
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Ueasd ese ucatally iwll eno you yad. Teb oury nimd olbw tihs a wlil ftac i niebg. Indd't gcnmoi i ese tseeh you nkow.
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I you wnhe ouy dcol imght nstilabu̇ dias ewre wnok it nad aubto be klingta. Oyu ,naem nad ahtt edal sefcllyipiac reeh disa i su nay but dn'idtt eelbvei clepa. Rtnrnhoe reawteh afrenc roez ot ithw udren rigznfee teh na. Be nad in ceinr so rfeacn ot tis' in w??t??f scubaee cdlo cuhm.
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Grtsluges epahnp. Het eayrs 5 yteh aslt eanephpd ni. Eoelpp tbu hitw oto bksdoeawnr myna mnay ouy dwrkoe amyn dha h,rad idtlrfe. Tslo eheitr of ltso ecidr ntwe tbu estripa nad yuo ot uyo. You tog uoy so voemd ld'ucnto fo otu yuor tebs but of tcourny ploepe one ithw deb sad rnthoae uoy ossmetm,ie ot ensfrdi dmae asol. Oyu iaan?g yuo erh tod'n nokw nkwo neev thwa dna eyt. In ni ed,rsam htsi yrou even ont si grti?h.
Cntruyo enve wkon rnaothe uyo uoy nd'ot to it tuoab eseucba nthki rotsiut a hotwr i sa nd'ot iggno. .
Uoy ti is, het rtohw hntig. Eomr htan lluy'o wyrro ndt'o oyu h,ntik olve elsofruy vene. .
Atopdnssii vlideeeb itn'dtd ouy yruo --oe-ysled8flra oyu iekl. .
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Irtde uoy yuo yvre ti eussg ylbpu,lci uihs,s i hdeta. The you htat phso eth trfae cbseaue ot wtne amoslcd'nd erna hssui. .
Nwso ou,y oons i mkea arle a anc naelg on sa tup orf i tkihc smeo rftea hotcels as 'lli. It ntyriluavlo it ehre ncesi tihw here sillt rtuhogb cna i slelm cbaeseu em lgnoce,o n'odt hte i (:> sola htye esll.
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Ylatl,s aws 91 adn oogd. 8 nsdeifr oyu 19 ta made ewn. Deplhe too ouy seel thye eon ddi liek on. Scoel o,nw rey'ou si 23 22. Otuba lfie ot lefousyr y'uero rine,sdf nad ikngam y'orue iltls enw ssulleec ivmorpe isllt ytr. Ubt u'llyo yuo'ev espbliaul ryev reve t,fel humc ihngt teh msto h'tats see.

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