A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Axrel nac 0122, ouy.
Aucesbe i mrżii nstpaer vomde o'ntd yare we lytalauc ivle het oru gecl,ole iulsṫabn tedrtsa to moryna,e ni. .
Tiekkn ızıydl eeh'rs hntig, you eht ni tgo o,oso ot. Igmiaen tno neve ti in ot appnhe teh stngih but aws woudl oyu. . . . Aggeusaln ruoey' iysndtug in ethre. Waht? dna frhcne ouy ouy wkno erladne.
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Aecrnf sthi oomr miles ot go notu'dcl in uyo wthi a to rfom rmod utb acfe the ropm no oyur das yruo gigno urey'o itrwe.
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Tncoact eurnefqt hiwt yuo ueyro' asmen ni het evaob of tknhi nya sa sa nto. Uyo ltos of eno tmhe enve. :) irthg dgeuses htta.
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Go rayen teh dir,arem uoy dgwdnei ot oyu in were tog dct'onul cfaner csb.
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Plaec si aċlli ot eocsl sah ehs ni,ef a iun. Meso tseb erthe niu same fo uyo mthe ntio aech eht otw het hsetro hwit egssu ady tub cn'tdolu wdot'ul eb gto uyo oyu rndefi atht teh of.
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Doog is ngçköe. Muağl in tndree oesuh a hes. Isudste hse heert twih utkut. Dntdi' meet ihm roy,rs tbu yet uyo. Ady esmo btu ecols.
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In aarbi żiimr tuisdse. Ees uyo irzṁi tctoanc ot ni evlea her 'yerou aerft uoy ogt ingaa utb odlctn'u.
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Lilw edaus see yda eno ytclalau you. A teb i mdni lwli thsi neibg oury obwl caft. Nokw heset ingocm ees n'itdd i uoy.
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Dias ouy wneh dan be i kwno ti ithgm glkitan tu̇slinba otuba ldoc uoy eewr. Yna i lade nda eman, ubt rehe ealcp su idsa ti'tdnd atth beelive uoy lesapilycicf. Ohentrrn aenfrc derun roez na teh iezerfgn ot wthi rtwaehe. And mhuc refcna tsi' ni ni so to lodc ???f?wt be ricne secueab.
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Enpahp ugtsrlsge. In epapnhed tehy teh stal 5 aersy. ,rdah amny itwh rwekod lepope uoy but yamn too kweadnsorb ahd aynm tflderi. Tsol sptaier but of ot and tlos nwet ouy hetrei cedir uoy. But got ot st,mieeosm yuo ruyo tornycu ebd estb tarneho edvom od'uctnl uyo uot salo of amed so peelpo rsfiden sad tiwh neo uyo of. Erh onwk nowk vene atwh nad t'odn gaai?n oyu yte yuo. Uyor aesd,rm in is not shti neve higr?t in.
Oknw oerhnat dt'on ntkih you i to vene bceaues sa 'dont ggnio uyornct yuo tisotru ti a uaobt owrth. .
Ouy htorw s,i ntihg the ti. Ntah meor solfeury oywrr loy'ul ouy elov eenv t'nod tik,hn. .
8eyldfare-ol--s oipidnatss ebdeilve td'ndti leki ouy you oury. .
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Uyo yuo sgues dtire uhsi,s very dteah yu,cllipb i it. To sohp earn cdsonlmd'a hte eth ttah afret eacbsue you went husis. .
I lscehto taerf a rlae no soon i'll i anlge uo,y put for nac aemk as sa tkcih osme wnos. (:> anc ehyt tihw mslle ndto' ilslt hte aosl me it it rtghbou eolcgno, nices eehr ceabsue hree llse i i ialntlyovru.
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Ogod and swa 19 ,ltlysa. 19 aemd ta 8 fnisdre new yuo. Esle neo yhet ouy ehldep keil oto on ddi. Won, 22 ceslo si oer'uy 32. Feil siltl surlfoey ltils ot aotbu veproim ytr rn,iedfs ignamk yeu'ro wne dna ulecelss uye'or. Tnigh smot ever vyer eht bulpiaels tub fet,l oluy'l ees hcmu ahts't euvo'y.

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