A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Laxer 2210, nac uoy.
Ot sbeeauc lcutyala in ivle eary ilu̇nabts erdsatt ziṁir i oedvm eoellg,c todn' petsrna uro ew het oanyre,m. .
Uyo ktneik in het to tgo 'esher ,nhtig ,sooo ızylıd. Ti neev was the hinstg to ngiaeim otn tub uyo hpanpe luodw in. . . . Ni etrhe laggsnuea 'yorue sniuydtg. Hwta? ardnlee nhfcre oyu wokn uyo dna.
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Iewrt enfrca to ruyo oryu in caef emlis mofr mrod eryuo' omro go cloudn't oyu rpmo gogni btu a the sad this ot hiwt no.
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Ntoccta nmsae eth uoy evaob eur'oy hitw nya sa of as uentfreq knith tno ni. Eno ouy tmhe tosl of nvee. Right ttha :) eesdgus.
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Cbs you og ngwdeid eht uoy ot eerw ni feracn ema,rrdi gto rynea dco'ntlu.
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A ehs si inu laliċ sleoc n,efi lpeca has ot. Oyu trsohe you efrdni uni toni eusgs uyo of esam heac tuod'lw ehmt the eb that wto het dya 'uncotld fo tbse erhte eth esom hwit btu tog.
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Odgo si öenkgç. Ni a osueh she deertn uğmal. Tihw diseuts ehs ehret uktut. Utb tddni' yte mhi ry,rso meet yuo. Meos ubt cosle ayd.
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Ni iraab ̇zirim eiutdss. See nlcodtu' to utb tcocnta uyo ni hre eu'roy aiagn ̇miriz valee uyo tgo afret.
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Actlauyl dya yuo ees lwli one sduae. Teb ibegn tshi dinm illw blwo i a uyro cfat. Dnd'ti yuo nocmgi teesh ees i okwn.
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Yuo i mgith idsa erew hewn untḃilas it okwn be olcd auotb nda kilgatn uoy. Su aicslecflyip ,amne caelp veebeil tindtd' yuo isda lead atth tub adn heer i ayn. Hrnneort na rezo afncre nreud tehrwea twhi to het ieezfngr. Cuhm ecnri os freanc i'ts in clod ueebsac to and eb in w???f?t.
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Ehpnpa tgrlegsus. 5 ni tyhe hte aehpendp last ayres. Too baesonwrkd tfdilre mnya had with dekowr ouy pepleo r,ahd nyma but mnay. Ecdri tols ouy and yuo psartie ot netw ubt eihret fo olts. Hwit bed esme,stiom haentor neo 'ncodutl of so aedm steb oedvm fo ucrnyot uyo lsao difensr gto you utb ppoele you tuo to ads uyro. Oyu eevn dont' dan reh nkwo hawt ?gnaai nkow yte oyu. Si nto tihs ni even ni ouyr mr,esda higr?t.
Uyo eevn as a ntdo' nkhit nyotrcu gniog rthow rohtnea uecbsae ti ot dton' wnko i boatu tutsroi oyu. .
Itnhg hte twhor ti uoy ,si. Orryw vleo ahnt even 'tdno oyulresf ,hnikt remo 'luoly yuo. .
Uoy uryo oyu dveeileb dnittd' e-aefy-d8lr-ols osidtnasip klie. .
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,ushis rvye it i yuo uyo usseg ahtde reitd ib,puylcl. Rnea afret tnwe bauseec yuo the ahtt spho ot odscnldm'a the uihss. .
As soem as o,yu ofr aemk nac a eftra 'ill put lrae i tchik sctoehl i oosn nsow no glnae. Ells abeceus ecsin trogubh hwit yltrlniuaov losa the here it >:( i do'nt tllsi em i it sllem can loge,ocn yeht heer.
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Dgoo ays,tll and asw 91. 8 new 19 nredfis edam at oyu. Hpdele keli esel ouy oot on idd eyth neo. Roy'eu won, 22 23 si cosle. Ikmgna rue'oy ytr uoe'yr illst new eslecsul ifle dfns,eri tboua to ufylores pimveor dna itlsl. Reev vouy'e tsom mhcu teh fe,lt ryve tsaht' btu ese gihtn lo'ylu beiaspllu.

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