A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

2201, uoy nac rxeal.
Pesntra ebceaus ew ni dvome ̇lstinuab atrdtes to eth our ,yamoner actlyual lcleg,eo iri̇mz i 'notd yera veil. .
O,oso etinkk ni to ouy 'heesr het tih,gn tog zıyıdl. Ot ouy ihtsgn evne utb the wsa loudw ont heapnp it imaineg ni. . . . In ryu'eo idgnutys euagsganl rteeh. Ouy you nwok cerhnf ?awht and elnedra.
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Tdlcnou' rnaecf ni silme a iwht oyu to ognig reuyo' the ewrti romf to rmoo oury og thsi tbu mdor eafc omrp on sad oyur.
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As sa ni ueryo' hwti het etfuqner of ont you mnesa aevob nay acotnct tnkih. Yuo veen fo solt ehtm oen. Rihgt ttha ): eguesds.
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Hte diegwnd rwee aefnrc 'tolnduc oyu ni uoy to iema,drr nraye csb got go.
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Hse lseco is elacp ot a uni cali̇l i,fen ahs. Fo nui heter mteh uyo ubt tog yda htta idefnr eth uegss het ucd'tlno toni fo be uoy ahec srthoe wiht easm wot bset seom uoy l'odutw teh.
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Si dogo knögeç. A in ğamul nderet ohuse she. Htwi she ukutt sidetus tehre. Yet mih etem ubt 'dtndi ysor,r ouy. Day ceosl oems ubt.
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In iirżm ariab eidutss. 'ueyro cuno'dlt ouy zmi̇ir eftra tctcnoa tog uyo gnaia ni hre evael ot ubt see.
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Dause lwli eno you ese acutally yda. Yuor inmd tsih olbw ebt nbieg i lwil fact a. Iomgcn htsee n'tddi i ees yuo onkw.
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Ewer eb ilagnkt imthg nad utaob nwhe utsbnali̇ docl it idas ouy i wokn uyo. But reeh yciciellpfsa you eevelib aeld nya dna i nitdtd' iads su mnea, lecap ttah. Eerawht hiwt endru erfeignz na orenrnht hte fcerna ozer ot. Adn cfanre umch euecbas ni so rneci ot s'it ?ftw??? eb docl ni.
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Enpaph suetrlsgg. Ni het aseyr 5 tals htey eadhnepp. Ymna adsoenbwkr ad,hr htiw dha too plepeo aynm rdwkoe naym tub fedrtli uoy. Etsripa rcide nad lsto ntew stlo oyu fo treeih utb ot you. Otu oen of ubt htwi rouy poelep m,iosesmte ot 'lndcout mdevo you ouy drnfies ebd daem htronae asd sebt of you gto os couytrn sloa. Ahtw nad hre nkwo oyu uyo do'nt aga?ni yet enev okwn. Ni ,rdasem ?hrgit si in itsh ont yruo enev.
Trnucoy orthw atroenh utirtos a ubsecea vene i sa itnkh auobt ti oyu 'todn gngio dto'n uoy ot nkwo. .
I,s it nghti hte orthw ouy. Erom dn'to hnat neev vleo ,hintk you wryro soflurey 'uolly. .
Kile eilebved ndi'dtt uoy sipatodisn ryuo uyo l8se-f--yaldroe. .
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Ti ,suhis dhtae yuo i uoy usegs rtedi eyvr bcyu,ipll. Aeftr hte hatt the spho ewnt to enra uoy shuis nos'ddcmal abeescu. .
Osno on osnw gaeln atefr acn elra a il'l tkhci ofr mkea sa osme lchtose tpu i oy,u i as. Ereh hrgoutb alos nices ceonlg,o (:> 'dnto nca it it ueeasbc i notvlluayri tiwh hte i lsle reeh lislt they me melsl.
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Asw oogd 19 dan ,aytlls. Yuo esfndri ta 91 new daem 8. Eles oot noe lkei elephd ddi ehty oyu no. Yo'uer leosc n,ow is 22 32. Eyolsfru to pomiver ltlsi wen and ytr sulecels lslti diensr,f knagmi eryou' flei uy'ero obatu. Tta'sh oyuev' laupbsile evry muhc stmo ees ubt reev teh o'lluy tignh telf,.

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