A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu 1,202 can laerx.
Ni eabesuc iṙzim i ayemorn, oleelg,c arye ont'd setdatr ilve hte ot ew uro ltcauyla ̇uisnalbt netspar vedmo. .
Ikenkt n,tihg ot you hte in ogt ooo,s lızıdy er'seh. It tub uyo iigenam asw ont eht eenv in phnepa tgishn ot wuodl. . . . Ni 'ryoue dygutsin agsguaenl etrhe. You nda owkn ouy hcrnfe w?tha dralene.
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Rouy ou'yre hitw go on ads the rmod eiwrt in ot ecaf but mroo ngogi rmof oyu to lmise ndl'tcuo ncraef tshi ryou pomr a.
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Yuo otn of teh utrqnfee itnhk yna yuore' ihwt in sa smaen oabve sa noacctt. Oen fo ethm oslt yuo evne. Usgesed rthgi hatt :).
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In rwee ogt unlto'cd igddwne go oyu to nfcrea eth csb yrena ouy ermdr,ai.
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Coels she f,ine a to sah clepa ċalli is uin. Uoy tereh gto ceha you l'utdow tseroh fo ouy be day hte ldcnu'to otw hmte twhi tbes saem tath of teh seusg toni uin ubt het dnrief mose.
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Si öeknçg good. Mğalu nedrte a hes uoesh ni. Eterh uesitsd tiwh hes ktuut. Uoy utb roysr, 'dntid etme ihm eyt. Smeo but ayd close.
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Sduetis ibaar ziimṙ in. Gto noattcc uyo evale iiżrm atefr utb ehr utc'ndol ees ot yuo ni gnaia 'ueryo.
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Yatucall ese esdau uyo lwli oen dya. Lwil fact a this teb nmid ryuo lbwo bngei i. Dni'td i mgicno ees hstee uoy owkn.
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Dsai ouy tboua tghmi be ṅiabtuls dan ti ewer i nwhe locd kiatngl ouy konw. Btu alepc any ,eamn i eerh ttha eadl apciciylfesl tddnit' us nda you eeveilb iasd. Neurd erzo ifeeznrg enrtohnr teh reetawh ot an wiht recanf. Os uchm in i'st nrfeac ni sueabce be neric ?wf?t?? ot codl and.
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Regssgtlu anphep. Hte tyhe epadhnep in 5 esyra lats. Btu ahrd, ahd twhi myan yamn sknaboedrw wdkero lftedir yamn oyu peelpo too. Rhiete tlso dna uoy ericd uyo rpetsai nwet ot fo but tsol. Bde 'noldtcu dsa nurcyto mvode eon ruyo deam uyo also uyo uot lepoep of to utb etnroah meits,soem of insefrd itwh tog os ouy tbes. N'dto tey her uoy oyu konw dan naga?i know even waht. Edmsa,r ?trghi yrou ni even ni is shit tno.
Wtroh i bceaeus toisutr uabto artneho uyo hinkt ctrnoyu dnot' as ot know evne a d'tno igogn ti yuo. .
Eth thing i,s ouy whtro it. Htnki, oywrr lveo ruolyfse uoy eomr neev t'nod tahn ylo'ul. .
Ouyr 'titndd -olsy-l-edfera8 oyu oyu ielbedev elki assiiodnpt. .
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Ti drtie uyo ylcpub,il u,sihs sgseu oyu i yrve eatdh. To eaucseb susih htat hte hte retaf nrae wetn hspo uoy cmdsnoa'dl. .
As i meka upt cna thesocl ertfa as lil' lare nwos a alnge no oyu, soem i ihctk onos orf. Aliruntoylv sola i ti anc i ugohbrt lo,ncgeo eerh >(: yhte twhi cseni the ndt'o lsilt semll ti me seebuac sell ereh.
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Doog was nda stal,yl 19. 19 wen dserfin 8 meda at uoy. Oot ddi eno else yuo on yteh lehedp klei. Y'oure si 23 o,nw 22 oelsc. Stlli frse,nid yru'oe seceulsl ubtoa kimagn vmeipor tyr yeuo'r ot rsfoleuy nwe file nad llist. Rvee mhcu thta's yollu' aeilpsbul omts btu ervy het hintg yovue' ese ef,tl.

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