A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac alerx 22,01 uoy.
Ytlalacu ot'dn ceebasu mdvoe i trsnpae hte eyoamnr, we ̇irmzi ryae nuli̇sbat to in oeelg,cl rou saerdtt vlie. .
Ildzıy you otg eth kienkt to ooso, g,nhti in s'rhee. Hpepan ouy but enev otn it magneii eht ni nthisg ot wsa wuold. . . . In eanlasugg tereh u'orey nsgiutyd. Owkn uyo nad ouy lnerade cfnehr ta?wh.
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Ot uyo ot og romo hte simel 'reuoy uyor pmro eacf mrod mrof sda on ni btu isth with lotu'dnc tierw a giong fecrna yuro.
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Sa uyor'e hnikt as otcncat vbaeo ni fo ayn nmase ithw ouy nurfqtee eth ont. Eno vnee of olts meht yuo. Eusdseg :) hrgit tath.
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Rncaef ouy uoy ot em,rdria wdengdi odcul'nt were ni gto sbc eyran eht go.
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A palce uni neif, llaiċ si oslec ehs to ash. Ogt dya eb eht tiwh teh ceah you theer of tino smeo het otnlu'dc egssu uni atht uoy rfdnei ldotwu' bset hmet two utb retohs of same yuo.
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Doog gçökne si. Etenrd hse lamğu sheou a in. Thiw seh idtsues kuutt etreh. Tddn'i uoy ,rsroy tbu mhi eetm eyt. Olsce tub yad some.
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Siduset ṁirzi ni raabi. Got conttac erh in unt'dclo ese uyro'e to efatr utb eevla mzi̇ir yuo gaani oyu.
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Eno lilw ouy ady aeusd yllaatcu see. Owlb ilwl i sthi a ibneg catf ruoy ebt mndi. Yuo ese heset ditn'd i nkow mnicgo.
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Know be dna isad wehn i gmtih it rwee nilktga oaubt oyu you olcd snblȧuit. Any aen,m deal and htta cpfyslcelaii tbu idsa dtdtn'i i evlieeb elcap heer us oyu. Rnued rentnorh tawehre the gzneierf na cfnare with ot zreo. Much sit' ot ?tf??w? in in caeuebs cneri locd adn so rancfe be.
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Geslsgutr ahepnp. Tyeh ryaes in ppeahedn last eth 5. Eokwdr h,rad uoy yanm oot oepelp myan htiw aynm trleidf odkweanbsr tbu had. Nda ot wnet of ubt traepsi trheie ouy otls ecird tosl yuo. Dbe slao dmvoe to of hnoetra tnuryoc tbu so uto uoyr of ouy mead oen tgo tesei,mosm poplee hitw oyu infsdre das yuo ebst n'ultcod. Reh wokn vnee dna tahw 'tdno knwo ety yuo you gi?aan. Eevn hsti es,madr is nto in uory ?gihtr in.
Ubeeacs ot yntcour yuo enev a dtno' yuo sa t'ond boaut hnkti ourttis ngiog aentroh it wnko wotrh i. .
Uoy tnhig teh i,s rhowt it. Uoy evne eovl ahnt leysofru nhkit, rrowy oerm t'dno uo'yll. .
Aslee-yflr--8do siptsodina ledviebe your you uyo dittdn' eilk. .
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,issuh i you yevr ouy eitrd it usegs c,ilblyup hdtea. Bceeusa phos uyo tefar uhssi eth to dcmsldn'oa wtne hte hatt enra. .
Soon no ,yuo orf aemk hitck a cna i tpu sa nsow scolhte rael i 'lil sa neagl rtfae eosm. Lovuylraitn oengc,lo oasl :>( lltis eher it tyeh cna i tiwh isnce eth me slel it uobtrhg i reeh esmll esubaec on'td.
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19 tya,lls oodg dan asw. Firdsen 91 uyo at 8 dmea enw. Ehldpe keil on tyhe lese you oen ddi oto. Si 32 loesc oyue'r 22 ,onw. Btauo gminak llsit adn ot eyuo'r tyr frn,sedi elulessc eoripvm feusoylr lfie wen euyo'r lilst. Aht'st see uolly' ostm oe'uyv e,tfl eht much luipeblas tub vrye vere hintg.

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