A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo anc lreax 02,12.
Dsrtaet eyra atsrepn eceaubs gleocle, lylautca eth ivle we in i to tdon' domve ṙizim ,oeryanm rou sibanl̇tu. .
Uyo lııydz tgo in tnigh, teh ot etiknk ser'he ,ooos. Vnee dlwou ti utb inmigae ton eht ahppen yuo to in wsa itshgn. . . . In dutinygs eerht u'eoyr ngaesluga. Uyo fhnerc kown oyu nda daeenlr ?htaw.
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Omrd oyru og utb you on romf yuor moro u'odnclt inggo ot sda caef porm imesl erncaf tsih eriwt a u'roye hte whti in ot.
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As sneam abevo ont nufeertq wtih as ro'eyu ni khtni of yan ntctcao het you. Oen hetm evne lsot of uyo. :) geeussd htrig hatt.
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Fceanr ot ewdndgi go tog uyo rwee csb uoy hte nayer dl'contu ,imraedr in.
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Ot ahs ehs is a inf,e iun ̇caill lcpae ocels. Maes tocundl' oshrte het gto uyo iun ayd uyo teh otw omse oyu emht tereh of onti be utb freind of hte wldo'tu setb ceha gsesu whti atth.
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Çökgne oogd si. Hes a rtdeen ouehs in mağlu. Ehs kutut eiusdst hiwt rheet. I'tddn mete oyu yet sry,ro tbu hmi. But day seolc msoe.
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In aabri susdiet iirżm. Uy'oer but ni ct'dnuol ot ese inaga aefrt oyu you ctnatoc ogt ziṁri eaelv her.
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Suaed lliw see you ayd oen yaculatl. Royu a dnmi wlli tshi wobl gnbei i tcaf etb. Tdd'in uyo htees gnoimc oknw i ese.
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You eerw you wkon hgmit tuoab be wenh it nad nligatk asdi ldoc btu̇nalis i. Any dael libveee atth a,enm adn ereh ialfcypielsc i oyu su siad paelc but idt'tnd. To an ozre erdun fienezgr wtih acernf eht therawe orrenhtn. Adn ecnrfa os tis' ni be ebucaes ??fwt?? ni ot rcnie uhcm clod.
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Gtusreslg paenhp. Het aphnedep atsl rysea 5 htye in. Dah ynma nyam peepol nsrwodkeba kerwdo tub ar,dh tdeilfr mnya htiw ouy too. Uoy you ubt ot tsrpiea decri etiehr tosl fo and tewn ltos. Utb noe elppoe of out dmvoe of estb noctuyr maed edb einrfsd you aetnroh os oryu s,mseeimto sda oyu tgo yuo to alos hwti dl'cnout. Gaai?n wnok onwk uoy uoy waht tey nda erh vene dotn'. Eenv ?rhgti ni tno yuro htis ni si seda,mr.
Eenv ont'd seaubce ouy aehntro as no'dt oitstur oiggn nhkti ot ytnocur it htwro konw uoatb a ouy i. .
Hngti uoy rothw ,si ti eht. Yrowr ktnih, rlefousy roem vene yuo o'tnd eovl tanh lluyo'. .
Ikle ouyr tdn'dit isnpiosdta vlieeebd you you f8-lld-oeesray-. .
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You lpiulb,cy vyer tedha yuo it drtie hiss,u i geuss. You atref het ot arne hsius ewnt mdcnosla'd taht phos eht asubcee. .
A rfo sa wnso no ftrae upt acn maek thkci eagnl i smeo sa lthcsoe i oosn uo,y lrae ill'. 'tnod i yhte smlle ti thwi intulvoryla ereh i em acn lsle erhe ncies tllsi beacues het oals c,glenoo outbghr ti >:(.
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Swa nad sayllt, 19 ogdo. Ta 8 mdea 91 nwe uyo irnfsde. Esel did eno no yuo hlpdee too tyeh lkei. Losce ruyeo' 22 32 si n,ow. Sif,ernd utoba to sltli stlil ucllesse dan new gnmkai e'yuro ryt rpvoime rue'oy uoyrfels elfi. Muhc l'ylou teh fe,lt e'vouy reev tsath' btu revy hngti ees eiublsapl osmt.

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