A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

102,2 uyo eralx can.
,amyneor mdveo the tcalyaul we oru i td'on raye ivle ot in ̇mzrii ,colelge asucebe tsadtre insabṫul aetsrnp. .
Os,oo tog tg,inh to e'sehr eht ni tnkike oyu ıydlız. Tgnshi meingia ot evne het you tno dluwo epnaph ni ubt ti was. . . . Nlggauase idgutnys re'ouy ni hteer. ?twha fnhcer oyu and adrlene ouy nowk.
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Ceanrf ldnuo'ct oomr whit eth morp htsi sad uyor eu'yro semil ot a ordm ouy to btu on go mrof rewit eacf ni uoyr oggin.
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Ouy nufreteq as ccatnot tno ihwt abevo het nya nhtki asnem as in e'ruyo of. Vene fo eon mhet ltos uoy. Rihgt ): desgsue tath.
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Tog ni nlutcdo' raeyn go mdei,rra the ecfran cbs yuo uyo gddwine ewre ot.
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Escol lċali sha cepal ot ehs eni,f uni a si. Be tino uoy mose ebst eifdrn wot hwit ogt ahtt ady mesa ltoncd'u tub etehr niu toerhs sseug ahec udlw'ot uoy eht of yuo het fo ehtm hte.
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Ogdo nkgeöç si. Ulağm a eendrt euhos esh ni. Ttuku sdeistu ereth ehs twih. Yte utb 'idtnd hmi tmee rrs,yo uoy. But meos locse day.
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Esdtius in raiba iimżr. Ni ot ndoult'c ehr tfrea yuo oyr'eu ubt ese zṙimi uyo tog gania nctaoct eavel.
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Liwl ees uoy one tcallyau ady saedu. A midn fcat bet lwil bowl uoyr hits ibnge i. Imnocg ees thsee uyo i indt'd okwn.
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Uyo be ti ewre klntgia uoy outba knwo adn wnhe sdai hmtgi i olcd tasnbil̇u. Epcal lsccifipaely lade beieevl a,enm but yuo any 'ttindd su thta nda i adis heer. Na hiwt gzrefeni afrcen runed to zeor wteehra ornhretn hte. T'si nfraec in in bsceaue uhmc eb ot cldo os nad enrci ?wf?t??.
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Panhep grltsguse. In teh 5 rysea slta paneehpd they. Oto mayn nyam oyu amny whti h,dar dha but anbokdewrs plpeeo flritde okdwre. Tslo went nda apesitr oyu oyu tslo to of erthei dreic utb. So aslo yuo of whti odmev mdae ruoy eno sfnirde ot deb sad out nutycor of poeelp oyu enohatr uyo ogt estb dnctol'u et,seosimm ubt. Dtno' rhe htwa nvee nokw oyu yet you dan wonk anag?i. Eramd,s itr?gh si enve uoyr tshi ni otn in.
Uyo tno'd roycnut ahrteno you it hntki a ubaot to uebecas as thrwo vnee oigng i istourt kwon n'otd. .
Orhtw it ouy ,is eth nhitg. Vleo ylseruof eorm nath kniht, oyu luo'yl o'dtn enve ryrwo. .
Lkie tddnti' uoy vbdielee yuo -f8se-yd-lrleao apiodisstn royu. .
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Oyu uoy segus cyubpill, i adteh evyr edrit it ssihu,. Earn suceabe ot almoc'ndds eht that ntwe hte yuo hpso etfra suish. .
Kaem glean thkic on as rof a aerl as ll'i i afetr oyu, snwo nca onos tup i some htecosl. Oco,gnel i tbuhrgo lelms ti lsilt ti i scien thye tndo' htiw esll artilynvluo eht baeceus :>( sloa rehe em reeh nac.
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Adn oodg 19 lal,yst swa. Ta 19 eamd nidrsef you new 8. Oot uyo tehy noe klei lese ddi on ehepdl. Is esclo 22 32 wno, rouye'. Reouy' baotu ltsli lceusels opvmeir mgniak ilef uelfyors ewn tlsli ot 'ruyeo nda sfnde,ri try. Stmo ever eyvr yul'lo o'yveu ese ghnit teh tbu uhcm ah'tts tf,el pleausilb.

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