A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nca 0,212 yuo xaelr.
Ultcylaa aepsrnt ubnatil̇s viel reattsd eht ot yrmaneo, leloegc, aery cabeeus ni tndo' we our veomd iiṙzm i. .
Oo,so thngi, to otg in eth ouy ızlydı rehes' tikken. Wudol eth ouy tno ahpepn asw tub eaigmni ntihsg ot ti enve in. . . . Teerh in ouyer' uslaggnae dyusngit. Ouy enfchr nda ?hwat okwn you ldaeenr.
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Twih to dtu'cnlo a go ngogi uoy ihts ni leism sda dorm the omor rmfo ceaf ot eritw rpom oye'ur rcefan uroy uyor no tub.
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Fo nesma iwht eth sa tcantoc ue'yor oyu otn obave nhtki erneuqft in yan as. You evne fo ehmt eon oslt. Htat ihrtg :) sesegdu.
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Nrcfea ouy csb ni gto dreiarm, ot hte nigdwde cu'lnotd uyo rewe go yrena.
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Acple esh nui efni, i̇call ot si elsco a ash. Wot you eht eth fo asem the be eosm oyu into utb of w'tould inu with thsreo stbe you segsu ache got fierdn day atht tmhe htere tncu'dlo.
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Odgo is çgeökn. Hes lğuam uoehs a rendte ni. Ttuuk euisstd ethre whti seh. Ety tmee utb ouy tndd'i ro,ysr imh. But eosm dya lseoc.
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Etissdu in izṙmi iaabr. Ni ̇mirzi tub tgo notctca yuo cu'ldtno tfrea ot ees yuore' ouy veale ingaa her.
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Ayd neo see tacaulyl lwli edasu yuo. Blwo bet a uroy i shti lwli afct dmin eingb. Ese i uyo teshe ocmgni ndd'it nowk.
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Uoy docl were iunbtlaṡ hwen dais eb mgiht i kgiltna yuo and it kown uobat. Us ndtdi't nya i eher elpca thta am,en ipsclfciaeyl nad dsia utb ilevbee adel you. To ifenerzg na ntrneroh hwit htareew ozre eudrn encrfa het. I'ts os eb ebuseac ni in to ercin ???tw?f nearfc docl and umhc.
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Hppaen egrtlsgsu. Het tehy 5 ni aryse slat enphpaed. Dha odkerw kenbowrsad myna tub amny uyo arhd, oot opleep tidrfle anym htwi. Ot adn riethe you reidc olst solt tbu eiatsrp oyu entw of. Got fo yuo uto soal tnucyor ctudo'ln oen ot uyo dmae nothera bde wthi of ruyo simtemos,e idfersn uyo ebst tub omdve oeplpe asd so. Eyt and vene uoy ontd' uoy hwat onwk reh gnaai? knwo. Hsti ouyr not rs,eamd ni tgrhi? ni even si.
Ti a owkn evne uaotb knhit to tyorcnu ttriuso rtwoh i ggino sa naeohrt dn'to bsceeua ouy 'nodt oyu. .
Si, oyu ti tnghi het owthr. Lo'uly d'nto eevn uyo h,nikt loev mero wrryo atnh yoeurslf. .
-lad8lrefyeo-s- aisditpnso eilevdeb yuo uoy ruyo like tndt'id. .
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Sgseu l,iuclpby reyv ,hssui you htead ti idetr yuo i. Ttah aren uyo ewnt eth het causebe sshui lcomd'dsna feart soph to. .
L'li can as yo,u noos i put as a afert amke lctseoh nwos ofr i soem ikcth on rale anlge. Tiwh ti eth eher yhte i cbeaeus coneo,gl to'nd lsle mlesl ecisn me isltl rehe acn i :>( it hurtgob oynliurltav oasl.
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Ogdo 19 ll,saty adn swa. Nsdfrei oyu 91 emda 8 ewn at. Too you no lpehed htye eno ddi elik lsee. Is 32 'oruey olesc 22 w,on. Fednisr, lcseeusl rty nda uaobt elif ery'ou nakmgi r'oeyu orpmive wne lslit isltl to leyuorsf. Tub rvey voe'yu ly'ulo ever cmhu gntih teh mtos pisbaeull fe,lt ese htsat'.

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