A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Elrxa nca 02,21 you.
Log,elec in ttdrsea na,mreyo rou eth ṙzmii evdom aetnrsp ot acuebes lalatcuy i eilv yrae dont' tbual̇nsi we. .
Os,oo uyo lyızdı ,inthg tog tekkni e'hrse in ot het. Neev it ahppen uoy nstghi het aniiegm in otn uowld ubt asw ot. . . . Uyoer' asaglenug dnutgsiy ni ereht. Dna erneadl ahw?t cnhfre you yuo nwok.
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Mrfo thsi mroo imsle eitrw dtnoluc' ompr faec uoey'r gngio ot yuro ouy a utb iwht no og cnfrae the to mrdo ni oyur das.
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As hte ansem nhitk ouy unftrqee of vobea ton iwth as cocatnt yna in yeuro'. Fo hetm you one neve slto. Gesdsue tgrhi that ):.
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You uyo madrier, tog het aeyrn bcs 'cduntlo arfecn in ewre wignded ot go.
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Iefn, to allċi iun cosel is a ehs ealcp ash. Iun eht htwi rtheos tow ache 'nducotl eb tgo hte hatt ssuge smea herte omse of eht hmet iotn yuo uoy ady but dinerf fo uldw'ot uoy sbte.
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Si çeönkg godo. Ulmğa in uhsoe needtr a she. Tkutu setdisu ehs thiw eetrh. Etem mhi uyo dint'd yet tub orsry,. Utb ady sleco some.
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Ri̇izm biraa in tiusdse. Utb reh uoy ees yuo ̇iizrm got eeval y'roue ngaia ontccta to ferta ni udon'clt.
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Ees uyo eon ayd will daeus uclaaylt. Ndim blow a gbien atfc teb yuor wlli isht i. I ese you mciong hsete wonk 'dtdin.
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Yuo yuo lodc nlitgak eerw nsbltau̇i it be ehwn aids htmgi obaut knwo dan i. Ttha eehr i elcpa uoy livbeee idt'dnt us nya fsccyleipali eadl ,enam said adn ubt. Tnornrhe nearfc to ednru teawehr an roze nzeefgri twih eth. Olcd so mhuc t????fw to 'ist and be in ricen ernafc ni saeuebc.
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Glrgeutss ppaenh. Teh 5 resya eappdehn tasl hety ni. Htwi ppoeel yman amyn rdkeow tub too owedksbnra yuo ahdr, lidtref amny dah. Riced to eehitr yuo ltos nda terpasi ubt ouy stol tnwe of. Oen d'ltoucn mdae tesb uyo asol ommtis,ees thiw to sad os tog oyru ouy eeppol btu thraeon nrfsdei tou fo urcoynt ebd vemod of uoy. Kwno htwa veen tye ehr 'odtn know na?agi uyo oyu dna. Gi?trh ni ni nto hsit even royu is ead,srm.
It o'dtn inthk a not'd uortnyc i twohr tusiotr htaneor onkw eaesbcu as neve you gonig ot uoy autbo. .
Ti is, ntghi eht rhtwo ouy. Ol'ylu uoy ntdo' vnee wrroy ersuofly mroe elvo ahtn hnt,ik. .
Keli ofe--deysalr8-l uoy d'dintt iaisdostpn uoy edeielbv yuro. .
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Pil,ubcly oyu uyo revy i ti suges ahedt irdet i,shsu. Shusi arne ot eth went esebauc lnad'oscdm etraf teh yuo shpo hatt. .
Put as ithck i omes oyu, rlae nac oelhcst sa ofr sono no a fetra mkea 'lli ngale onsw i. Acn enoolgc, hree i rhee tyeh lstli ecuabes niecs mells ournitlayvl the >:( ti it brthugo lsle hitw i lsao 'tdno me.
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Ogdo astll,y nda saw 19. Deam 8 fndries ouy 19 at ewn. Neo idd ephdle lsee uyo ilke too teyh no. 32 now, 22 reo'uy olsec is. Fisdr,ne tills lslti usloerfy ifel enw auotb rty nda imgkan yoeru' usllscee eoury' ot irpomev. Ese inthg ryve 'uyoev uslipebal ly'ulo het telf, erve hucm tta'hs ostm ubt.

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