A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

20,21 eraxl cna yuo.
Ruo eilv żrimi we to naeprts cuayllta l,geeclo i dtsrtae mdeov tndo' u̇tbilasn teh ni beuseac aynero,m yera. .
Izlıyd het gto t,gnih h'sere ot etiknk os,oo in yuo. Dulwo uyo in it tngsih the btu iaiemgn phnape ton ot eevn asw. . . . R'oyeu usganalge hrtee ni giydnuts. ?atwh uyo nkwo uyo daelner nad enhfcr.
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On ot ry'eou pmro tbu rouy your you wiht eacf the go in d'untlco moor ads ormf a sthi elsim iwter to ggino ordm rcnefa.
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Sa hte khtin sa nueerqtf htwi eyor'u nya veaob uyo asmen ont ni ctotacn fo. Tmeh ouy even fo slto neo. :) sdsegeu rgthi ahtt.
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Rri,amde bcs oyu erew rneya got het og in doncult' ot cerfna nwdeigd uyo.
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Li̇lac a sah hes si ein,f ot iun ecalp lesco. Hortes edrfni yda ouy easm tbu ulnct'od rhtee teh wo'dlut of hemt emos sebt atht eth heca hte you wiht fo uoy got eb gsseu niot otw uin.
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Doog ngeçkö is. She a ğualm ernted ni ueosh. Erhet thwi idssute ehs uttku. Btu r,orsy you yet tmee dndi't him. Btu osme eslco yad.
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In abria sdiutse miizṙ. Nagai ro'eyu ni ct'uolnd ehr iimzṙ tfare ese yuo got vaeel atotccn uoy ot tbu.
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Day cluaalty wlil ees uased uyo oen. Sthi acft a indm wblo bte bengi ryou i liwl. Ees dtn'id i kwno thees you oncmig.
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Ti ehnw ewer adn lkagtin odlc kwno ntilusaḃ eb mgith you iads yuo i tuoba. Any su alcepifiylcs atth ielevbe adn dlea tbu mena, eher uoy i asid paecl didntt'. Ot roez rdnue eonnhtrr afcern eth tiwh ehtrwae enegrzif an. Tis' ni rfcaen ot os be dclo ???t?wf in cneri adn ebuseca uhmc.
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Resgltusg hanppe. The aeeppndh 5 yesar they in tals. Mnay ubt peopel too edrkwo had rh,ad fitldre oyu kwraoendsb hiwt ymna nyma. To otls yuo reicd ltos teheri itpraes ouy btu enwt dna fo. Sad uotyrcn tog bde ruoy epploe eotarhn to utonl'dc bets dnrsife tou so you mdea smmtse,oie emdvo ubt loas of fo with yuo uyo one. You ia?gan ety uyo konw whta do'tn dna reh even okwn. Ni mrea,sd tg?hri otn in neev ruyo si shti.
Dtn'o neve a ti aotbu ot wnok i tturiso oyu ohnraet sa kinht rwtoh uesabec ryotncu tond' gogin oyu. .
The ti uoy wthro ,si tnghi. Vnee olersfuy more hk,int vole td'no ahnt orrwy oyu uo'yll. .
Klie rouy ouy tddin't sdsoantipi edlbveie ouy yl8sdfl-e-er-ao. .
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Seusg etidr i thead yuo ,hissu ti ouy yp,uclbli eyvr. Ddamsn'olc tefra hte oyu nwet htta hspo eth ebcaseu ot iushs enra. .
On as mose oons i nac ickht yu,o as utp i rlea ectlsho kmae 'ill ealng a nwos refta for. Bghotur (:> ells emlls the vlitrlnaoyu ti nceo,glo sceni it ereh hyte twhi ereh t'ndo tsill me buecsea i oals i nca.
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Gdoo swa and 91 slyt,la. Uoy enw deam inrsefd at 19 8. Oyu esel did no oen eyht ekli ehepld too. 23 uyero' is eoscl o,nw 22. Ryt oey'ru life sdfir,en yre'ou culseles eyfrolus enw pervmio ot nad slilt aotbu ngaimk lslti. Eth 'yvueo thing lt,ef yevr btu eevr tha'st smto 'oyllu lisapbelu humc ese.

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