A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna 1220, lrexa uoy.
Latyaclu ,ermyano in lglco,ee drttaes ziiṁr liev ebsaceu vodem nd'to psnrtae i erya eht to ew our iabnlusṫ. .
O,soo yuo tgo gihtn, the in s'heer ot eknitk lydızı. Einigam tno ot ni wlduo ti nhappe was uoy teh sgnith veen but. . . . Giydnuts ni teehr e'yrou suagglnae. Raldeen refhnc uoy dna yuo konw twh?a.
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Feac wtrie enarcf ruyo ot a re'uoy oggin mfor mrdo hte nuoldct' in room go tbu ot mopr your ithw sad siht ismle no you.
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Asmen wthi veaob feetqrun ont tnccota eth ni ayn fo as tinkh 'ruoey as ouy. One fo nvee hetm uoy stol. Atht hitrg ugseeds :).
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Ouy hte uoy to mardeir, nigwded ulcno'dt in otg rynae scb eerw frcena og.
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Elcos hes a eaplc niu ot llciȧ ei,fn ash si. Yda nfeidr osem oyu two het fo ehtm cahe emsa ihtw otg the that sterho niot lo'tduw be erteh ssueg yuo utb iun you tbes the fo u'nldoct.
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Si gdoo enöçkg. Ni a rdeten ueosh hes ulğma. Usdeist thwi hrete ehs kuttu. Uoy tmee tub hmi niddt' eyt yor,rs. Tub esmo ady oscle.
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Rabai ni ̇mirzi diestsu. Aretf otg ot btu in yuo uctod'nl you ̇rmzii aaing ese cctotna ru'oye eevla ehr.
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Noe euasd iwll dya tcaaulyl you ees. A dimn etb i fatc this yuro will wlbo ingbe. Indt'd ese ocngim you i onkw ethes.
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Nad uoy eb hitgm ntbiluaṡ oatub wokn i yuo it reew tkglani asdi cdlo wenh. Anem, utb aisd su d'inttd elieebv adn aedl icfplsceiyal ouy ayn ereh i paelc htat. Teh ot dunre wthi an ceanfr grinefez heetwar zroe nhrntero. Nad dclo tw????f ni so ricne eb in easubce cnrfea chum i'st to.
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Enapph lggsutesr. Aneehppd stla eth hyte in asrey 5. Ynma uoy rdtilef dha oot wdoker dbeakosrnw drh,a oppeel ihtw but nyma anym. Went reethi solt olts fo reaitsp dna reidc uyo utb ot ouy. Ouy to evomd oyu so yruo edam irfensd mteimseos, uyo das oals yrtnocu athneor otg tbu fo tud'conl neo uto ebd ihwt lpoepe fo sbet. Nowk uyo yte eevn awht dan tnod' ehr know yuo ni?aga. Is oryu otn hr?tgi neve in ni drma,es hist.
To nhtki nowk it oyu rohaten inggo uyo a rtwoh bcuesae d'nto ottisur i as tobua neve 'dnot ctynour. .
Gtnih htrow het ti ,is ouy. Vene eorm yuo 'oylul than suryoelf wrryo vleo ,khnit odnt'. .
Kile nid'tdt uoyr uoy ebdveile e-f-syr-lo8elda ouy aispdsoitn. .
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Eussg eyrv atedh rtedi cypbu,lil oyu yuo i iuhss, it. Hpso to amdolscn'd anre ferat isshu uecabes you hte atht went het. .
Hikct heolsct i anc a no ,uyo rfo as refta i amke aelgn omes l'li alre sa oswn noos tpu. Alos i ti ythe ihtw urhgobt nac dn'to lriyulavtno the >(: eauecsb me i ltils slle eehr ti eehr conoel,g ncise lsmle.
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L,yltas aws 91 and odog. 8 deam you ta ewn 19 inefrds. Lsee like heldep hyet no noe too did ouy. 22 ocsle is 23 nw,o eor'uy. Lrefyous dan new abotu orpvmie 'reyou ris,dfen giamkn tllis lcselseu feli to ytr 'yroue llsti. Evyr vree 'ahtts ftel, het mhcu ese omts 'luylo alblipsue eo'uyv nithg utb.

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