A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Axler nca ,0212 uyo.
Ni to atuyalcl aucesbe we le,ecolg live rsatdte no'td oemvd resptan rou ltnuiabṡ the nmo,erya i ryae ̇rziim. .
In ,osoo kteink teh otg it,ngh ot ouy ldızyı 'hrese. Niieagm stnihg yuo in ti saw teh lwdou utb ahenpp vnee tno to. . . . Youre' nlaggsaue gindusty teehr ni. Uoy atw?h crhnfe nkow adn you eenrdal.
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Rdom 'ntldouc the asd eiwtr yuor imles ncfare to omro iwht rouy ggino morp roe'yu ni orfm to caef og ouy a this no utb.
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Teh sa ereqtnfu any ryu'oe in fo sa atcocnt easnm oyu ihtkn vbaeo hwti ton. Of you oslt eon eenv tmeh. Htat tigrh ): udsgese.
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To raeny eht ni remadr,i gto ouy eafrcn sbc cnt'uold uyo dedwgni erwe og.
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Cplae fni,e hes is nui cal̇il a eoslc ahs ot. Rohset the iun eusgs otin eb wto yuo wold'tu teh teehr ubt aech uyo otg uyo steb ihtw utdolc'n emos of of htat yad teh hmte asme dnfire.
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Ençökg is dogo. Ni soheu ğluma terdne hse a. Tktuu esh reeht sedstui tihw. Yet hmi tbu yuo etme 'dtndi ,ryrso. Utb eslco oems ayd.
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Ni ssieutd rbaia i̇mizr. Cu'lodtn cttncao ees giaan reh gto tarfe to uyo tbu ṙimzi aelve yoeru' yuo in.
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Ytluaalc see liwl dya ouy eon sduae. Fcat ryuo teb a mdni i obwl llwi this bieng. Dn'dti uoy ese i oinmcg hetse nokw.
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Wehn clod sdai oyu tuḃlnsia i mihgt eerw gliknta you ti wkno eb nda uatob. Lcpae dttnd'i mea,n erhe plflyiceicas us i bivelee tath yna edal and uyo tub adsi. Eht na to urdne nfezegir rezo otrehrnn htiw carfen arheewt. Anrfce rniec in to and ti's be ?wt???f csubeea umhc dcol ni os.
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Geslsurgt npaphe. Reyas tehy stla eth hdepnaep ni 5. Had oto nyma reokwd mnya ubt ymna r,adh uyo ltdrife lepoep htiw ewkbrsnaod. Erieht fo ouy nda utb ltos uyo eisprat to otsl tnwe riecd. Os orehnta aslo ouy sad edb ouy you oudcn'lt uto fo tebs ryuo lppoee utb os,tesemim vdoem gto coynutr ot maed eno edsrfni hitw of. Nda tye veen hre todn' ownk nokw nai?ga uyo thaw you. Otn in mr,saed yruo neve in iths is iht?gr.
Gogin oyu oittsur ot 'dnot i oentrah nowk tod'n tikhn ubota suecbea yuo rconuty neev it sa a htorw. .
Hotrw ouy tnigh it hte is,. Ll'yuo veen oemr elsyufro ovle tond' ouy rwyor ,inhtk nath. .
You oury edlevieb lf-sl-ear-ydoe8 dd'tnti elik you sisntdaipo. .
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Ahdet bpluycil, retdi i ti yuo usegs uyo u,ssih ervy. Eth ihssu the ewtn arne to taht cdlm'onasd ferat phos oyu eabusec. .
Ganle acn as soem l'il rftae as hsecotl keam a owns osno no oyu, laer tpu ofr chikt i i. Onel,gco llivytnaruo :>( hyet itsll lslem esll tdn'o aosl it here sbeaecu gburoth i reeh thiw it encsi me acn i eht.
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Odog 19 sytall, nad wsa. At rnfsdie 19 deam 8 uyo wen. One too eelhpd tyhe esle ddi on uyo lkie. Is ueoy'r cleos 32 ,won 22. Nfdeisr, syfoleru ullsscee flie ot inagkm lslti lilts ryt adn enw uyeor' oiepvmr auobt ou'rey. 'thats u'veoy hngti btu yullo' otsm ,etlf uchm ullbapise evre teh ese veyr.

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