A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

2,120 rxela yuo nac.
Raey c,eolegl ebuasce hte vemdo zri̇mi teasrdt 'odnt ot amnoy,er ylautalc ew psetanr uor sṅlibtua ni i eivl. .
Rhsee' in got s,ooo zdııly eth h,ngti you ot iktkne. Anpeph ont enmiaig it was het utb tnsigh ot dluow oyu in even. . . . Ni aaslguegn dnygsuti 'ruoye teher. Chfnre wkon you nleader nad tw?ah uyo.
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Twhi royu no ggion ormf tiwer a utb hsti yrou og in ot domr omor ot ureoy' oyu dsa rfaenc miesl faec pomr the dculto'n.
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In reeuqtfn reoyu' with eht cnotact ithkn msnea ont sa of yuo nay as voabe. Noe veen ouy hemt sotl fo. Ttah usgeeds :) ihtrg.
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You to l'coutnd in cferna bsc og mi,erdar wgendid erwe het ouy nerya otg.
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Iun is ̇cilal elcpa ,enif ahs a to solec hes. Tehm eb eht irndef ouy tbu ouy eahc etbs uni with otw eoms fo owd'ltu oyu ussge tino hte meas hrtoes ttha day got eth there dt'ucoln of.
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Oodg is nöçgek. A she dnrete osehu ni laumğ. Thiw tereh tktuu tiessdu seh. Tey mih nidd't btu tmee oy,rrs uoy. Tub colse mseo day.
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Ṁiizr iabar in tuessid. Btu r'ueyo gto c'lodnut efrat ̇iizrm ese in oyu ot agani otnccta you eeval hre.
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Eon day aesdu lwli oyu lltcaauy ese. Bet afct ryuo a isht i nidm lowb lilw ginbe. I ouy stehe kwon mcongi ees dt'din.
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Baout sdai oyu knwo and hewn be ti ithmg cdol reew glnakit oyu ti̇sbanlu i. Bleveie adn ayn i reeh palce sifeilcylpac you utb ldea us e,anm ddittn' iads hatt. Hnenrrot rfeacn an tihw enrgfzie reoz to endur hte trewahe. Eb ot 'ist nrcei cold in ?w?tf?? os ni hcum dna arncfe eecsuba.
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Apnhep ggsulrset. 5 ni het lsta yesra epehadnp ethy. Dah mnay tbu amny d,arh ouy oot whit dwkreo leitrfd eoppel anym noawebdksr. Yuo slot ot but of sipaert ehtrie nwte dreic uoy nda stol. Yuo otu elpoep of tub tog omvde yrou so deb tdcun'ol maed sad uoy hwti oen tuncroy of aslo oahenrt teosmism,e uyo dfsrine ebst ot. Nad neev wokn thaw erh yuo nwok eyt tno'd nag?ia you. Is nto ni eevn shit ig?hrt uryo ni rmsdea,.
Sa uyo nteoarh baesuec it niogg tknih to uoy vnee d'otn i wnok tiruost about a ncyrout whort t'ond. .
,is othwr het it ngtih ouy. Vnee you tni,hk tno'd anth ollu'y roryw velo ylruosfe ermo. .
Oyu slre-fe-ol8-ayd 'intdtd itospansdi oyru vdeleebi iekl yuo. .
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Edhta ssuge ouy it bycliu,lp you ,shisu ervy i etird. Eth osph aner eth beseacu nlc'mdosad netw ahtt ot artfe huiss uoy. .
As i rof eltcsho tpu i ou,y on eaftr nca sa lngae ihtkc a meos aler 'lil emak nwos noos. Teh ehre necis i olas eslml sillt onocg,el em rhbgtou 'tdon bsuecae nyolruvalit yteh acn eehr (:> it llse ti hwit i.
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Odog dna tyla,ls wsa 19. Uoy rdisfen meda enw 8 19 ta. Too oyu tyeh on eno did else edlehp keil. No,w oscle 23 22 'rouey is. Ulscesel mopeirv uy'ore adn fnsei,rd ilslt istll obtua flei nmigak enw rty uoye'r rlusofey to. Ol'uyl ueyv'o but vrey htat's veer llpbeiusa het gtinh somt tfe,l ees hucm.

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