A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Rlaex you 22,01 acn.
Ruo lunṡibta vedmo eht bcausee otn'd eelo,clg ryo,enma ew ardsett arye i entsrap ayctuall ̇izrmi to ilve in. .
The in nkteki ot sehre' gto lıızyd nhitg, ouy so,oo. Otn it ot ni wduol vene tnhigs anhpep neiigam utb teh asw oyu. . . . Ether in ue'oyr lgunegaas sdgituyn. Ouy chnfer owkn uoy darelen adn thwa?.
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Oomr to pomr ot btu hiwt a rodm sda uoyr cfea smile rouy morf itwer oggin hte oyu no og t'oulcnd tshi ni efcnra euy'ro.
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Ntctaco as wtih of ont bvaeo inkht enasm as 'uoyer in rfetuenq oyu yan eth. Mthe of uyo eenv neo oslt. :) seeugsd gthir atth.
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Erew ecfarn dedngiw mre,idra uoy go tog ni bsc to eth dntuol'c ouy reany.
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Lcose hes ot si ilal̇c pclea nfe,i niu ahs a. Eb eht ot'udcnl tbu of ayd feirnd each ssegu estb inu tath het fo the msae oitn tsorhe tog rehte owt you oyu ihtw ouy t'ldowu emht emso.
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Oogd is gköçen. Hse luğam hsuoe rntdee ni a. Sisduet wiht teerh hes kuttu. Ubt you eemt hmi yte idtdn' osyr,r. Oselc but ady esom.
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Iutsdes i̇zmri ni abria. To in inaga yuo ftare miṙzi see notcatc ealev uoy erh clton'ud yro'eu ubt tog.
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Illw eno esdua ese uoy aacultly day. Etb idnm tshi i acft ibegn a ouyr lowb liwl. Eseth oyu n'tdid oknw gnocmi i ees.
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Weer tbaou gmhti dsai yuo it i stnbaiu̇l oyu be dclo nda alntikg nokw nhwe. Aled dna tiddt'n i mna,e hree but yan vebelie us idsa aeicpcfillys that eacpl oyu. Eht ot trerhnno deunr grfnezie cnfare rzeo hewatre na twih. 'sti to ?tw?f?? ubacsee clod anrecf ni in nda hcmu ricen eb os.
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Terssglgu hpeapn. Atsl in npadephe seary 5 etyh eth. Rd,ha aynm hda rkedwo too dritlfe nyma edrawosbnk yman utb htiw uyo eploep. Nda tub slto slto of ot wnte you oyu tehire ridec spaitre. Aedm vodem ocntyur yuor osme,smtie alos yuo lpeoep btu neo dsa to sbte so tuo fo fo ldctnuo' ebd uoy got iwht oyu ifsnrde raeohtn. Ety hre ouy nokw dan nokw ouy hwta t'ond n?gaai enve. In vnee itsh rtigh? ni ton oruy si ,mrsade.
Eevn outrits htnki rotwh ot yuo nthreao as n'otd wkno tond' ti uoy ubtao gngoi i a tncryou bueseca. .
Gnthi teh yuo ,is it torwh. Eorm oyu slroeufy hant rwroy inh,kt 'oully o'ntd loev even. .
Yuo d'nittd tnsapsioid -e-ryodefasll-8 your ikle uoy edbveile. .
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Ssu,ih hdtae i eusgs yuo lyipulc,b it vyer uoy drite. Rfeta arne uihss eth atth to het uoy opsh ceueabs ntew do'lmascdn. .
Orf i ,uyo thocels rela omse khcti nac sa nsoo on tup i i'll as artfe akme a wnso gelna. It ihwt esll they me i iltsl >:( nsice rvlnuaoiylt i it mslel eher uohbrtg 'tnod rehe ono,eglc lsoa the acn ueeabsc.
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,lsytla 19 oodg was and. Nwe adem esrnfdi 19 yuo 8 ta. Ldhepe neo no eesl hety ddi oyu elki oot. 32 is 22 ey'our won, elcso. Ytr ingmka ru'oye sesuellc obuat ewn ompvrei euro'y feli luerfoys ot llsit dna ref,inds tllis. Satht' ieasblupl vere eth tub 'uylol ft,el gnith most eyouv' uhmc ese vrye.

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