A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Ouy can 1022, alexr.
'otnd i evmdo spetanr oru utasbinl̇ ziiṙm ,coegell acebuse tlyculaa we ievl hte re,noaym yaer to ttdesar ni. .
Eth gto in htig,n hrs'ee ıdzyıl ouy iknetk oso,o ot. Het hpneap ni ti vene dlwuo ntsigh to eamiign saw nto oyu btu. . . . Ni euryo' rehet ntsiugdy ualagsneg. Ndlaere twah? okwn cenfrh dna uyo ouy.
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In iemsl yuro utb uyo to mrof nto'udlc ouyr ginog ot morp orom og twih rdom ceranf on ads eth oreyu' cfae this a ritew.
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O'urye quefrtne ni eth nto sa tihw ancottc of ebvoa ouy nya seanm sa hiknt. Uoy htem fo noe tslo neev. Ssdgeeu htirg thta :).
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Cbs weer aynre areimd,r ot yuo wginded het ni got cltnuo'd ecfanr oyu go.
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Licl̇a niu ehs a efin, si sah oscle ot ealcp. Usges tub tsbe atth uoy tog soem of of temh tion you tohesr d'ulonct two be ehac itwh eht emsa duwo'lt the uyo there day hte inu difenr.
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Is nkeçög good. Ğumla a dtenre hes in oushe. Kttuu itwh rthee hse ssdiute. Td'din ihm rrsoy, tbu etme eyt you. Osme lcsoe day tub.
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Ni mrżii aiabr tsudsei. Reh see agnia uoy ni velae yuo mrizi̇ euyor' aertf ubt ttcnoca onlcutd' tgo ot.
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Aulycatl noe yda uasde yuo wlil see. Actf gbine htsi i ilwl oyru a ndmi ebt olbw. Gncmio oknw yuo ndidt' see i htsee.
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Eb gmiht dan lodc tkialgn sdia uotab you usi̇banlt wree nwhe wkon i yuo it. Dan reeh atht i but lviebee iypclfisealc lapce t'tindd sdia any uoy na,em eadl us. Teh ezgfienr fecanr deurn haertew rzeo an ot twhi nrtohenr. Tis' ni adn odlc be umch rneci arnefc ot suebace t???fw? in so.
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Segsgrlut npeaph. Htye in eehapndp 5 ltas yeras eht. Too r,dha you hda lpepoe edfrilt nmay barnoeskwd utb ynam with roewkd anmy. Otls taisrpe tiheer oyu drice oyu of to btu lsot dan tewn. But odemv tgo rnoycut os yuo yuo oen tudlon'c taherno uyo lsoa oruy ebd tiwh emiostmse, fo fo made ot uto isnerfd bets leeppo sad. Her atwh eevn yet ain?ag wkno kwno uyo nad o'ndt uoy. Itsh eevn uyor s,readm ?rhtgi ont in is ni.
Otrwh ntheaor trtisou boaut yuo ti oyu dnto' ot ggion otcyunr nokw 'todn i evne aeebcus sa a tiknh. .
Worth ghtin ti yuo hte i,s. O'tnd luy'lo yrowr velo nvee ntah oyu urysfleo ,think more. .
Lkie ouy yrou yuo 'tidndt oaflrd---se8ely eliebvde stioinpasd. .
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Bpyluc,li sishu, uyo yuo i eyrv tedri ti tdahe suesg. Sushi nrea ot the ttah hosp eht tnew yuo sceaueb nocldsm'da faret. .
Lhoesct oems taerf upt wons ,yuo a sa rof 'ill mkea i sa on tckih real i onso elnag acn. Ti eyht sltli hiwt em cna trguhbo >:( i eesuacb ntdo' i lsel secin elmsl cegono,l the eher uatlniyrolv erhe soal it.
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91 wsa asllyt, nda odog. Ouy wne 19 dema eisnrdf 8 ta. No ekli oot ethy lese did eno eheldp oyu. Csole si yru'eo 23 22 wno,. Uscleels iamkng nad rty ilstl outba ielf ipvomre felryuos yoer'u to eu'roy lsitl sefri,dn ewn. Reve 'ouyll eth evry e,tlf a'ttsh mots ginth tub lusiblaep veuy'o hmuc ees.

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