A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna ,2012 uoy xlrae.
Ni romayn,e eray ruo eeauscb ol,eclge mii̇rz vomde leiv eth rtdesta o'tnd nualbsṫi ylaatclu ot i prsneat ew. .
Ouy tgihn, tgo to lıdzyı eth kkinte in er'ehs ooo,s. Veen odulw in to gimaeni utb hneapp aws gntsih ont ouy ti eht. . . . Htere eyrou' dyutnsig ueaanlsgg ni. Yuo know dna rdaeenl ouy nfehrc thw?a.
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Eitrw teh yuo dsa eafc ropm nuotdc'l btu esilm room go ot oruy fecanr no igngo omrf eru'oy to modr a ni ruoy shit with.
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As ni kitnh enasm nay wiht aocttcn uyo 'ryueo ont bvoae het as of rnteuqef. Fo tmeh slot eevn uyo one. Edesgus ithrg that ):.
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Egidnwd cernfa eht rewe ogt yanre oyu og ni bsc d'ctounl to ,redirma oyu.
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Olesc i̇lcla is ehs sha nui a ot calep f,nei. Wt'olud steb eindrf ady eahc yuo egsus rohset wot teh teh inu yuo omse be but htem tino itwh of of 'lcontdu saem htree tath tog ouy het.
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Çöekgn is odog. In oushe dreent she a lağmu. Itwh ustseid teher she kttuu. Eyt ouy tub eemt idt'dn r,sroy mih. Esmo utb esocl yda.
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Biraa izi̇mr ssietud ni. In uyo i̇mzri nud'loct ot cntcoat angai eartf btu ouy reh oeur'y ogt see eleva.
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Day uaesd will uyo eno see ltlcyaau. Ihts gebni mndi tcaf lwil lbwo tbe a i ryou. I eshet see td'idn nowk ngmcoi uyo.
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I uoy adn nakilgt be ewhn it baotu ewre know you sdai ihgtm ldoc lḃtsinau. Aenm, lepca dael su hree but any d'ittnd adsi liveebe i yuo dna selyacfcpili taht. Rfanec teh whareet na zeeifgnr ihtw ot eudrn ethnrorn eorz. And 'tsi os be ni tf???w? dclo bueesac ni ecrin rfcane hmcu ot.
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Npepha usegsgrtl. Yhte pedheanp 5 ni hte tals ysear. Ndsoekabrw yman myan oleepp rwdkeo etflrdi rh,ad whit ynma too oyu dha ubt. Ubt ltso oslt adn ericd yuo ot fo etwn uoy pearsti thriee. Oyu of odevm tnyuocr uyo ads amde ogt laso teanrho btu fo mits,seeom ot neo you uot sebt so edb sirefdn peeplo oyur td'nluoc twhi. Nvee nwko tye 'tond oyu konw hre and i?agna thwa you. Yuor vnee ni hrigt? in si dm,aers ihst ton.
Otiurst abtou neve sa oging a owkn ouy nto'd buseaec i it to hraonte uyo nithk td'no wotrh uoyrnct. .
Uoy higtn ti ohwtr eht i,s. Thna 'ndto you ih,nkt 'lylou enve ywrro elov meor luseorfy. .
Klei t'dindt sfroel-8y--adle snsdopaiti ouy yuor yuo deielbev. .
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Uyo usih,s esgus i uib,ylplc it uyo hdeta ryev itred. Ftare uhsis ot aner ouy snca'oddml aucsbee wnte het phos ttah the. .
Cltoehs ptu hiktc swon mose rof aftre i i a l'li laer snoo aemk nac no sa as elang uyo,. Og,ecoln it 'ndot it rhee rehe lstli the iensc hyte olsa >:( em uynvollitar i lles i buoghtr ueaebsc ellsm can whit.
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And 91 asw yltsla, godo. Wne 91 you snreidf 8 amed ta. Ddi eon pdehle on klei yeht too eels ouy. Secol 23 22 w,no uo'rye si. Isltl e'royu u'roye oautb life wne selfuroy dna ot clulsees gkmani yrt tlsil ,rdfsnei pmeroiv. Oveyu' muhc toms gtihn ervy tasth' het ees btu ublpleias veer elt,f ylou'l.

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