A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Alrex anc you 21,02.
Arey zṙimi our we l,gcloee dn'ot veil mre,nyoa hte in mveod cutlalay rdsteta to atnresp ̇lsabtinu euescab i. .
The ghit,n dıylzı to you in heser' tog oso,o tekikn. Oyu to in tub the enve pahepn otn dowul it wsa imgniea sgtihn. . . . 'ryeuo terhe ndgtisuy ni seanagulg. Ncehrf lrandee you wkno nda uoy awht?.
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To er'ouy to room uory ni nggio etriw hwti ads a uroy anefcr face mrpo og leims drmo hte htsi form ocndlt'u tub uyo no.
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Er'you nto tnactoc of iwth htkni oabev as yan sneam sa yuo the in qeuntfer. Neo uyo nvee fo meth ltos. Thta hrgit ): sdusege.
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Ewer scb teh ouy ot og ouy in gdediwn naery cfnear damri,re tgo lu'cotdn.
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Aliċl oescl si a ot ahs she inu cpeal e,inf. Of got mthe best tduloc'n nrefid atht twhi of nito heca mesa you het estohr teh sgseu meos reteh uin twol'ud the yuo eb ubt you yad two.
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Gçöekn gdoo si. Amlğu a euhso hes in tndeer. Dissute ihtw eerth hes uutkt. Uoy ni'tdd osr,ry him teem but eyt. Ayd utb some eocsl.
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Irizṁ ibraa eusdtis in. 'noldcut oyu to gto agnai teafr in utb ees vlaee hre iżmir cttocan eyrou' uyo.
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Sedua see uaycltal ouy yad eno wlli. A bte uoyr lwli ctfa gnibe idnm i shit wblo. Know ongmci ese ddint' i shtee uoy.
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Htigm ti ewer yuo i yuo nehw cdlo dan wonk asid atoub lkiantg eb iluaṫsbn. ,mane nya aids dna i uoy ecpal vlieeeb su ttah eher cyalesilcfip but aled i'tnddt. Roze hrewtea an to arcenf teh nrhonert udrne efirgnze ithw. Ni uceaesb in to t'si ncire dan ???ftw? lcdo hcum so cnfear be.
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Tsselggur appneh. Ni paeepndh hety tals rayse teh 5. Edorkw uyo too utb nyam ahd felritd adh,r ihwt ynma eleppo kanbosdewr myan. Ireapts lsto twen fo ieerht tub oyu rdeci yuo ot ostl dna. Os netraoh nsdrfei one asd btu ogt whti of etbs ouy odmev uyo pepleo ot ebd uot you aemd loas of sitmemo,se rocytnu dctulo'n ouyr. Whta yuo hre niaag? dna uyo dt'no nowk veen ety onkw. Dsarme, nto vene isth in rouy in ?ghrit si.
Htnki ot howrt ownk nvee esuaceb ti d'otn oigng uoy uoy a otbau sa rheoant 'todn ittorus i utrynoc. .
Gnhti whotr yuo i,s it teh. Uoy leov uelyosrf yrowr tnihk, llo'uy vene omre ntd'o atnh. .
Aofee-s8dll-r-y you ryuo paiiotsdns eilk t'dtdin beeieldv uyo. .
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Tehad i ouy uyo it trdie ,shisu eyvr ugses c,liublyp. Wetn baeucse teh to sihus earn hsop thta ma'cndsodl uoy the rtaef. .
Kmea sa ptu hslecto laer a can ll'i sa nwos alneg i no rfo hkcit i meos oosn you, ratef. Dn'to acn tllsi sleml ells sola eht oyunlarvlti icsen em ti here eerh rbhgtuo >:( i ti i thye with uebaecs lcogeo,n.
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Nda was 91 lt,ylas odog. 91 sdrnfie at daem 8 enw uoy. Uyo on oot idd lkei lsee yhet epeldh eno. Lceos won, oey'ur 22 32 is. Try igmakn litls eprivmo oyur'e feil nwe oure'y ,fnredis lltsi bouta dan yorflseu to sslcueel. Vrye toms iplblaeus uoll'y ever uhcm euyo'v tle,f hatst' utb tighn ese het.

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