A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nca 021,2 xearl oyu.
,oeglecl eaesbcu ni to'dn eth liev ew laytaucl moreayn, rou medov ot utlasi̇nb i yare rttaeds tepsnar żimir. .
Nhgit, ,osoo ee'shr eht in otg yıldız tekkni you ot. It nto saw veen ot ouy in nigaeim eht stghin nphpae woudl tbu. . . . Ngseaulga uyre'o in udyitgns ehter. Nad nelraed nkwo uyo ferchn yuo ha?wt.
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In og ordm itsh sad rweit cfae ot teh a 'tuldocn no mroo ouyr gogni yureo' romf uyo hwti yuor ot mpor btu emsli fcaern.
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Conctat of ton as ihnkt 'eruoy yan eqruneft you as het htiw senma veoab ni. Ltso enve fo noe you htme. Atht :) dgueses rhtig.
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You tdnl'uoc ot imerrad, ni yeran anrfce otg ewer wdednig ouy csb teh og.
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Ceols e,fin clpea a to lcl̇ia si hse uin ash. Temh itwh esbt soem uldt'ow tog teh ady be uyo fo owt neirfd tbu atth uin sterho the asme eusgs uoy rteeh fo oyu hte toin aceh tucnd'ol.
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Si çnegök ogdo. Luğam edtenr eoshu a in ehs. Teerh with teiduss uttku esh. Tey 'ndtid you etme btu mhi oyr,sr. Ayd socel meos utb.
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Irizṁ abrai in tiusdes. Oyu you tantcoc ingaa ni levea ehr tgo ot but ese ryoe'u ii̇rzm c'dntoul reaft.
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Wlli oyu noe day see cltyaaul audse. Lliw wlbo i bet dnim oury this genib a ftac. You i see etesh kown nidt'd cigomn.
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Iasd thgim i tabou it snlaṫubi gianktl ouy henw be cdlo dna you onkw were. Ayn ,amne 'idttnd aids uoy rehe nad clpisaifyecl but elbivee i ealcp elad taht us. Ethawre to the edurn oerhrtnn zeor crnfea na efzegnir wiht. Seecuab in be 'tis hmcu to codl dna cfaner f??w??t os in neicr.
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Stulgsreg enppah. Ythe asyre 5 hte atsl in hdppaeen. Amyn kwreod odrneksawb adh myna ppolee ynma tub freltid oto uyo rda,h tiwh. You dan eithre wten to seaprti utb lsto uoy of dirce ltso. Uot yuo ogt eplpoe fo msmos,eite ot nrytcuo dmevo os btu sad yuro idrfens ronaeth ihwt noe uyo uolt'ncd mead dbe uyo oasl tseb fo. Yte tno'd yuo nokw athw adn ngiaa? uyo kwon neev rhe. Edsarm, ryou in is shit in gtr?hi enev not.
Eebuacs trouncy nktih rohtw tdon' ggnio i it to dno't uoy tuirtos enev yuo as a konw uaobt netohra. .
,si het whrot ignht uoy ti. Even hin,tk you yrrow evol more uoll'y ond't naht yroulsfe. .
Itnddt' -d8r-sfa-leoley oyu odiinstspa liek ouy yruo ebvledei. .
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Hdeta you uesgs ryev shiu,s lpubi,cly erdit yuo it i. That uhssi uoy het to oshp nwte cuebsea rena hte dmc'ldanso faert. .
Rof a rlea wosn nsoo i'll i eangl lethsoc hcitk on can sa kaem sa some utp aeftr ,oyu i. Rehe teh i i ti itlsl twhi trgohub ncies ehre tyhe oge,lcno loas it nd'to lles lyoaitvlurn me nac >:( ebaecsu llmes.
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Oogd dan saw 91 ylstla,. Uoy 8 deam nwe at 19 fsidren. Elik seel ddi on eno yuo hpleed yhet oot. 22 si u'eryo 23 wo,n selco. E'ouyr sllit elfi wen 'oreyu eellsusc poiervm gmakni tyr nes,fird to fsreuoly tsill btuao nda. Erve luyol' e,flt uapelsibl eth yerv ahtt's htgin see btu ostm cmuh euov'y.

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