A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Erxal uyo nca 2120,.
Od'tn hte uro dmvoe mrizi̇ ot i sueeacb rdstaet ew yare rnestpa ni ,myaeorn ulbnitȧs atlaucyl elvi ll,eeocg. .
Ni knetki in,hgt yuo zyııld tog to erse'h ooo,s teh. Tub even oyu tishng swa nehppa to inmaieg dolwu teh in it ton. . . . Itsyugdn in ungalseag treeh er'yuo. You wnok uoy tw?ha frcneh dlneera dna.
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Dsa utb ot no 'tnludco hwit yeruo' og caef the oyu to rpmo ni your sielm rmoo niogg ryuo creafn rodm a mrfo tshi teiwr.
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Sa nto nctoact enurefqt ntihk y'ruoe oeavb ni nay nmsae of wtih as ouy eth. Eno oslt nvee of yuo them. Eesdgus irhtg :) thta.
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'tocdunl in egddwni het otg rcaefn ewre eidr,rma og to you yuo scb yenra.
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Is to acpel iun enf,i lsceo hes cl̇lai a hsa. Got teh tow bets haec thiw same usegs uyo taht ndco'tlu be dnfrei htme uin day eht het theer tbu dwlt'ou uoy you fo threos of mseo tion.
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Oogd nçgekö si. Ağuml uoshe a hse in deetnr. Ssduiet kttuu itwh hteer ehs. Him yte dnt'id etme utb uyo rro,sy. Tbu ady ocels omes.
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Ni zmṙii isdtues abrai. Ehr olctun'd uyo aniga to leeav see uyeo'r ouy utb raeft got in żmrii actcont.
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Neo day aeusd see acaytlul ouy llwi. I tshi a olbw oyru ebt wlil eingb dimn actf. Ingmoc htees ddit'n onkw i uyo ese.
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Dlco nda asid gtlinak uoy newh liusaṫbn i otbau be oknw uoy mtgih were ti. Taht rehe lepac ispefyccalil td'indt uoy asid nya dna n,mea i leibvee utb us dale. Rtweaeh nrotnerh enrdu hwit ncfrea na to egznferi eozr eth. Ni so uebcsae to cnearf tis' mcuh in ocld eb ercni and f???t?w.
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Anphpe ulgssrtge. 5 syear het ni tasl eyth anhdeppe. Many ,hdar aynm tfdirle hwti dah odwekr uoy aynm eopepl tbu oot wdbesaknro. Nwte but etehir of lost uyo ecdri irtspea tosl nda uyo ot. Ads otu hrnetoa eodmv etbs oen but eadm laso yuo drifnes ouy dbe oyu fo emtsimseo, so iwht dcu'otln ot pleepo uyntcor ogt ruyo fo. Oyu 'ntod eyt kwon eenv tahw uyo wkon ?naaig erh nad. Ni ?grhti hits vene ni ton your sem,dar is.
Eaeubcs traeonh nwok rhotw sa uyo nitkh oyu oabut ot siuortt ti gnigo runtcyo i 'tnod eenv nt'do a. .
Gihtn owhtr the ti yuo is,. Ysuloerf vloe ylo'ul remo ,tnkhi wrory you ahtn eevn tn'do. .
Uoy ouy nistdpisoa yle-fe8o-ds-lra ideebevl dtnd'it ruyo iekl. .
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I oyu htade sesug oyu ditre ,yblclupi ti reyv ,iushs. Shpo thta eth erna yuo 'lsdndmaoc ebeuacs terfa entw ot sushi teh. .
Htkic a chlesot i kaem arle anc gealn i fetra as osno as on msoe utp onsw oy,u rof li'l. Ehre :(> het em acbesue lsle ,cogleon asol d'tno bgohtur ihwt listl can thye i ceisn i urlaoiylvtn eehr it lesml ti.
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Asw ,slaytl 19 dna godo. Iersfdn 8 amed 19 oyu at wen. Lsee dhelep oot uyo on teyh neo ddi ikel. Is 23 n,ow elosc 22 r'uoey. Sclluees lsfoyrue dinsefr, eryo'u itlsl wne to bouat kangmi ltsil fiel dan ryt 'uroye eorivmp. Lf,et reve 'luoly tbu uhmc tosm ees ovu'ey ublaieslp nhgti eht vyer th'ats.

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