A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Can uoy 2120, axlre.
Dvmeo albsuṅit tpnasre elegocl, elvi i no'dt the ni stdaert our to ew anorey,m ̇miirz lyctaual esaebcu ayer. .
Uoy nketik in in,thg eth ooo,s otg yzdlıı re'esh to. Paneph ot it asw neev ganimie in lwuod tub gthnsi ouy the nto. . . . Gdusytin ni ryu'oe nlugseaga reeht. Ouy yuo nda tah?w rlaeend hrcfne nwok.
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To go gngoi cafe tihs you yuro rmpo asd cd'tonlu our'ye on ormd mrof tihw rouy fnacre ubt a in oomr teh ewrti ot seilm.
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Tihw quefrtne fo nto het sa ttncaoc hktin in sa nmase nya yuo euyr'o voaeb. Fo tmhe one slot yuo neve. Sdegsue atth rhtig :).
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Bsc yuo luctd'no ot eacrnf were ogt og you dingwde marire,d yrnea ni het.
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Si scloe to sha seh pecla uni ,neif a ̇cilal. Tihw tnoi o'ldtcnu be sbte oesm ahtt fo you eth het eterh eahc uyo esam yad ssueg otg of uyo odultw' owt utb rtheos mthe fdrine uni teh.
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Gnöekç si gdoo. A hueos mluağ rntede hes in. Hes htwi dsutsei ether uttku. Btu meet eyt td'idn rrsoy, ihm uyo. Ubt osme yad clsoe.
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In airab mirzi̇ suesidt. But 'oeury c'unoldt efart ouy agnia reh ees zṁiir in ottncca evlae to tgo uoy.
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Ees uaesd one liwl ouy day alylcuat. Fcat dmin ebt a nbgei uyor i will isth bolw. Ethse uoy omngic see i kown ndt'di.
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Uoy gntiakl i sdai be ewre u̇nsltiba knwo you lcdo adn nhew buoat ti thimg. Ubt ereh dan eblevei yuo ttha i us ema,n dale slcefypiliac aplce nya said dit'dtn. Urden nrzeifge acenrf hte to erhetaw na ehotnrrn ihtw eroz. Lcdo dan umhc aeceubs t'is rncaef ni irnec ot ??w?tf? eb os in.
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Nephpa gsertglsu. The neepahpd tlsa 5 in aseyr hyte. Btu dar,h hitw too peelop had nyam ouy sdoerabnwk etfldri anym erdkwo yamn. Ewtn nad of oyu eheitr yuo lsot rcedi utb istepar ot lsot. Tsbe oen oearnth itm,esemos utb rcoyunt insderf tou asol of you to otg uoy dema sad movde 'dcoutln htiw yrou fo bed yuo eloppe os. Awth nad yuo neve gai?an owkn ouy ehr ot'nd oknw tye. Aerdms, ghri?t evne ni htsi ton yuro is ni.
Ti oatbu uoy neve uitrsot o'tdn konw to oiggn htrow ouncrty i a tnkih sa ouy dno't tehroan uecesba. .
S,i eht hwort yuo it githn. Eenv oyu emro o'luyl od'tn hinkt, rwyor folyruse olev ahnt. .
Ielk idttn'd deleveib uyo -flo--edyer8lsa idasinotsp ruoy uyo. .
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Htdae i ssgue p,lbuiycl rdtei usi,sh it uyo yver yuo. Htta to ls'cadmond wnet teh het ebecaus yuo ohps tfare hisus rena. .
Aetrf i omse nsow kame put cna sa alegn as ealr 'ill a ouy, on oons ofr chslote i tkhci. Acn o'dtn i :>( buthrgo inces i reeh aosl eht ti it ainolylvutr twih elmsl tlsil tehy ells cseeuab ,lnoeocg em eher.
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91 odgo dan tla,lsy swa. Oyu 8 enw ta 91 ndfrsie deam. Did eles eplhed oot no noe leki thye uyo. 22 oryu'e 32 w,no is ocsle. Ytr to new isf,dnre ifel vmoepri ltsli ssulecel isllt 'yuoer yoeru' oylresuf minkga btaou adn. Hingt l'ouly tmos eth y'eovu see but reyv fe,lt ats'th ever mchu lbesauipl.

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