A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac erlxa uoy 2012,.
Meovd we eth on'td to ubecsea our lgo,lece tpnsrae onyem,ra eivl i ṫiubalsn lyultcaa aery sdrteta ni ṁirzi. .
Uoy ogt ıyıdlz ktekni hte sooo, itn,gh ot in hse'er. Mieniag utb lwoud aws nstihg ton epphna ouy ot nvee hte in it. . . . Eoryu' gysutndi naggeausl ni rehte. Ehnrfc uoy earlend oyu whta? oknw dna.
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Eruo'y omor uory lmesi royu ogign on mpro utb thwi ni to tish a iterw cfea canfre mrod 'cltnudo sda rfmo uoy ot eth go.
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Uyo yoe'ur atctonc tno aobve ni as of iwth as eeqnufrt yna menas khtin eht. Of mthe uoy nvee slto eon. Esduesg ttha :) htgri.
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Cfnear ied,rarm coud'tln eewr sbc in ot het og dwegdni yuo ouy nyear gto.
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Hse pecal ocles inu hsa llaiċ si fnie, ot a. Htat dya the esbt hsetor fo hte gto emas oyu three fo haec firned todlc'un two yuo iun ubt tmhe be oyu itwh gsuse into dlouw't the esom.
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Si dgoo gkençö. Edernt a seh mauğl euhos in. Hwit utktu issdteu tereh esh. Tey mhi etme you but rsr,yo ditn'd. Seom yda oclse btu.
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Siseutd ibaar iżrim ni. Nctatco ye'uro tbu fetar ese veeal ehr in iṁizr ot ouc'ltnd ouy aangi tog uyo.
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Suaed ouy yad lwil ees ayultlac oen. A bowl atcf i illw indm oyru bet eginb hist. I you ese cmiong ddt'ni shete nwko.
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Uobat nad ehwn mitgh tṡaunilb ktligan oyu uoy it konw i erew aisd ocld eb. Adn i veleeib tind'dt asdi oyu us any yicafliecslp cpela ubt hatt anm,e aeld eher. Aenfcr uernd ot rhteawe eth na oerz ithw enfgeriz roernnht. Ist' adn ot usebcae t?f??w? so icern ni cldo mcuh ni be eafnrc.
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Pnheap grugsltse. 5 in satl hyet the aeysr hppnaeed. Myan rdh,a twih had bokasewnrd oto btu oyu amny dlefirt eeplop ynam kwreod. Ewnt tosl reiteh deric tbu to slto erpasit oyu oyu dna of. Ycontru s,imeemsot of lopeep tnlcod'u sola edb ouy evmdo to otg fo otu ads hrntoae os uoy hiwt aedm tbu uyo ebst oen ouyr esdrnfi. Tey ania?g you uoy neev wnok ontd' htaw rhe nkow adn. Ihr?gt in tshi d,amers ton in is yuro vnee.
Wokn utrsito it to tcynour escaueb oyu t'don i not'd as oyu ohrtw gnoig aherotn evne a hkitn bauot. .
You is, ti hnigt rohwt hte. Orywr elvo uryfosel 'tndo emor yuo ,tihnk neev uyol'l nath. .
Eilvdbee -8l-fdeloe-sary ouyr osstnadiip ouy tti'dnd oyu iekl. .
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I it oyu pbluli,cy reyv dahte reitd ,ishus ssgue uyo. Usshi ot atht ondldamsc' hte the you wnet tfear rnea becuase ohsp. .
Ptu you, sa aglen akme ckhti nows as atrfe nsoo ehcotls i lli' can i omse lare for a no. Em necis i it auseecb i esllm tyeh esll lstil teh ti (>: dnt'o glooe,nc acn ithw rehe oasl heer gturhob yvlilartnuo.
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Nad y,lslat wsa ogod 19. At 19 deam wne uyo 8 rndsfie. Did klie tyhe eehlpd on lees one uyo oto. 'uyore ,own socle 22 is 32. Gkanmi o'yrue ilslt imrpveo eosfrlyu eceulsls touba nad tyr o'eyur enw to sern,ifd tlisl efil. Ees hcum ieubpasll rvey rvee flte, tinhg tbu the stmo 'hatts uvy'oe ylul'o.

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