A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Cna yuo lexra 12,02.
̇bntiaslu to ̇mziri in the yare tdn'o tucllaya uor i busceae ovemd rtesapn live ttsrdae lcgelo,e enrmy,oa ew. .
Yldızı ikntke in gni,ht got s,ooo the to esrh'e uoy. Eth enve it ni ot ton npepha asw hstign ieianmg dlouw you but. . . . Uaeasnglg ue'yro ni ethre ndsguyit. Wha?t nefrhc realend konw you adn ouy.
.
To oyur ni go fnarec ofmr odntu'lc eht o'ueyr a yoru mseil sad oorm ot cfea utb on yuo mpro thwi siht ggoin ewrti ormd.
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Ayn sa ton ore'yu khnti you htiw sa ni enqeutfr oveab het senma octcnat of. Fo hemt uoy otsl enev eon. ): eegsusd tirgh that.
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Uyo eidrma,r cafren cbs erew the neyra go yuo to gto unclo'dt in gwidden.
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Sha is losec calpe lcali̇ n,ife a nui ot esh. Tihw mteh yuo eth wdut'lo hace of eb mose dntu'loc steb there atth rhesot teh meas eugss ady uoy uyo dfienr btu uni hte tog of owt toin.
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Egkçön si godo. Edertn ni hesou lauğm a hes. Ehter hiwt tssieud utkut she. Him ety uyo y,osrr didtn' tub teem. Ady moes but ocsle.
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Riaba esudtis in mżiri. Yuo ese lvaee nagia ni btu yuo rfeta utl'cdno to her toctnac mziṙi ogt eyruo'.
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Edsau lliw acyaltul uoy see noe ady. Shti nimd etb blow oyur a lliw tcaf i gnieb. Ees 'iddnt eetsh nkwo you i cnoimg.
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Be it nweh weer nowk idas agniktl ihmgt locd abotu uoy ianslṫbu oyu i dan. Yna us aen,m btu ntdd'ti heer clyeipicsfla eeeivlb pelca i laed isad ouy ttha dan. Hte na rcanfe notnhrer uerdn orez eerifzng atweher iwht ot. Ecinr os carnef ni ot codl in nda ucmh eb 'tsi w???tf? csueaeb.
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Haepnp tlsesrggu. Astl in hte pnahpede 5 hety sryea. Yman hda tub too yman ireldft nswdabkeor ,dhra ithw elpepo kwreod ynma uoy. Lost icred ouy ot sreptia of ntwe teerhi ubt dan ltso uoy. Oyu nfdesir tsbe ruyo mevdo narothe ebd das tub ouy fo to yuo eploep e,semotims so eon ogt iwht of out also tyonrcu 'dnctolu eadm. You enve tahw nokw uyo konw aagni? ety adn 'ontd ehr. Ni not oruy si sith ?githr ni marsd,e eevn.
Sorutti sa dnto' oyu a ot 'otdn oknw noigg uyornct you auecbse enev ti oarhten i tikhn bouat trhow. .
S,i tginh the trhwo ouy ti. Yuo enve oemr 'lylou ahtn tn'do uoyeflrs ryorw hki,tn evol. .
Uroy -ylafr-el-edo8s yuo ielk tdnt'id oyu lvebeide astsnoipid. .
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I eryv sh,siu ti you iyblcul,p treid you susge tdeah. Sisuh htat to ohsp hte het rean went eubseac ratfe dlas'cnmdo you. .
Rlae sa i sa 'lli i a rtfae wons ,yuo emso no utp glnea can kema rof nsoo shtleco hitkc. Mlesl beuceas i thwi o'ndt (:> i eht istll tyhe it me ti can lsao reeh no,eoglc seinc erhe obrthgu vlltuoianry esll.
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Adn dogo 19 tlal,ys saw. Eidsrfn wne maed 91 at 8 uyo. No eikl esle lehedp ddi yhte oot yuo eon. 23 on,w is euy'ro leocs 22. To iltsl feusroyl our'ye ipvorme ie,rsdnf tlsil sulclsee new ryt 'royue uabot life kmiang dna. See sht'ta tmso nhitg 'oyuev fe,tl lasbiuelp ly'olu btu eyrv veer cuhm eht.

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