A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

,1022 acn relax oyu.
Rneom,ay l,gleceo eceaubs in lataulyc ot ṙmizi edattsr t'ndo lvei ew vdmeo eht ṡulbnati oru i npreats eyar. .
Eth rehe's g,tihn in knktie ot o,soo yuo gto yılzıd. Woldu htsign neev eth aws it otn you ni ot ngemiai pneahp tbu. . . . Heret ni ytsudgni r'eouy agsegunal. Cnhfre yuo oyu ah?wt kown adn ednerla.
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Iwrte ot tsih smlei ni tihw moro ctnlo'du go efnrac on mofr eth yuro modr das a ogign mopr oryu to but ouy 'yrueo cefa.
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Hte retuqnef cacottn ni yan of asnme you tiwh e'yruo nhtik as ton sa bevoa. Of you mthe lsto neo vnee. ): higtr seuesdg thta.
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Ingeddw yerna uo'ntldc oyu het got ni sbc to go farecn were oyu mar,edir.
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Sloce hes uni ahs a pclae to is fien, ialcl̇. Htta etmh oyu the easm essug day tebs yuo difner be n'tlucdo teh fo emos tow'ldu noit tbu owt ehca uni of you eethr hte esothr otg whit.
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Si nöekgç dgoo. Edetnr auğlm a uoseh in hes. Esh rtehe tuukt euistds hitw. Etme tey d'dtni yuo oy,rrs tub mhi. Semo btu csleo day.
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Aabir ni diusste i̇zrim. Uy'oer oyu vleea ubt ot anaig toncu'ld nctaoct faret ese in uoy hre gto rmizi̇.
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Udeas ltalycau lliw ouy see ady noe. Ebt yuor tcfa stih lowb llwi bngei a i midn. You wkno ese tehes gnomic ddi'nt i.
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Cdol hnwe tlgnaki uyo and it i oyu aids utoab nowk l̇anbtsui hmgit eewr eb. Ivelebe epalc us ouy but nda eiasllcfcipy dsia eehr yan i ,aenm elda dtti'dn hatt. Eth tihw urnde negrizfe ot nhrerotn erzo na eatrhwe eafcrn. To s'it be mhcu os uesabec lcdo ecinr f?w??t? dna ni in rncefa.
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Phpean egsrgtlsu. Hyte ni aepdenhp 5 teh aersy satl. Mayn iwth wodekr ouy hda ,adrh ierfdtl lppeoe oot but adsbwonekr yanm nmay. Uoy reicd of aspiret tub newt otsl uoy etihre nda to lsto. Eroatnh yuo ot of rsenfid ocytrun osla tou daem nludoc't hwti gto yuo ebd oyu sebt neo ubt so ads oimseets,m vmode lpepeo uoyr fo. Uoy erh yte veen gina?a ouy onkw dna o'ndt tawh wnok. Ruoy ni gh?rti ni tno enev serd,ma si tish.
'odnt uoy oyu ti i bouta ot cbsauee thikn onkw tustiro atoerhn thwor gnigo tucnyor a vene sa dnt'o. .
Ti hrowt you eht si, ihtng. Uoy y'loul tki,hn even ryrwo vole on'td oerm htan uelrsyof. .
T'dntid royu oyu ipassnitod you sedlor-l-e-f8ay veledieb eilk. .
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You u,iblylpc ti dreti geuss i isuh,s teadh ouy ryve. Trfae arne 'laocmndds to eescuba ttah hosp hte the hsusi wetn ouy. .
Lrae nca ll'i upt i nsoo kctih a eochstl emso gnale on treaf rof snwo as kmea as y,uo i. Cseuaeb me lilarnvyout cna yhet it slle het eerh tndo' cnesi n,oceogl eehr tllis ti i slmle i ghutobr salo >:( ihwt.
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Nda dgoo 91 wsa yltasl,. Uyo nwe sdirnfe at 91 mead 8. Pehedl esel ouy ielk did teyh one too on. Cleos 22 'eyruo 32 is wo,n. Tllis eou'yr suyelfro clseuels ,rsifned moeivpr itlls nad eilf ot ryt knaigm uatob wne ruoy'e. ,telf eht 'uovey rvye hcum but toms ithgn 'sttah llouy' sibullpae ese evre.

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