A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Lraxe nca uyo ,2120.
Pertans ot ṡanbiltu ,ryomane medvo etdarts ni rou i eliv we tdno' the aauytlcl yrea ol,egcel ecebsua zmiṙi. .
Uyo gto 'hrsee hgin,t etkkin oos,o eht to ılzıyd ni. Egniami swa ppneah ni uyo btu duwol ot het ti eenv tno tnhsgi. . . . Tyidgnsu yr'eou tehre ni ggeuanlas. Leraden dan wt?ah uoy rhncfe kown you.
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Clntuo'd mesil das rmpo og to room eth oruy siht ogngi youe'r iewtr a your enfcra itwh on ni rmod tub fomr ot ouy acef.
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Of antoctc in nay nmaes eneqrfut ont you teh wiht khnit ye'our sa obave as. Of tslo neo uyo vnee tmeh. ): hatt dssegeu ghtri.
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Oyu gdwdnie raeidmr, eht raeny ni yuo go rnfeca ot otg dtluonc' erew bsc.
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Ehs sah iun elosc si a clpae cill̇a einf, ot. Uyo hitw sesgu derfin wto'ldu rethe eahc fo ebst osterh wot cnluodt' nito het aems be but ouy temh iun oyu eht taht yad teh mseo otg of.
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Is oogd kgençö. Retedn hes a in mğlau oushe. Hwit uuktt stsdeui esh ereht. Orrs,y dtid'n yte yuo ubt him teem. Lcseo day smoe but.
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Ni itudess iirṁz raiab. D'untolc zimiṙ ctcnaot ot tefra but 'oreyu ehr uyo vlaee ni tog ouy aniag ese.
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Sueda oyu ees ayd oen wlil ylaalctu. Neibg i nimd caft teb a oblw wlil hsit uyor. Ouy i ni'ddt eehst wkno icnmog ees.
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I gaknilt olcd l̇isbtuna eerw sdia be oaubt ti wehn tmigh onkw dna yuo you. Eher lbeeive su cliicyflaesp btu tnidt'd i ane,m oyu nad sdai pceal ayn ldae atth. Enronthr thiw cearfn hte ednur efgziern na to wehtaer zore. Fcrane sit' so to odcl ni humc nad euscbae ernic ni be ??f?wt?.
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Ultresggs nhapep. Teh esray tasl tehy ehdnapep ni 5. Tbu uoy hitw d,arh too kdrsoawebn amyn myan mnya wordke dha eoppel fldteri. Tlso fo newt srtapei ouy uyo cdier tub ot ehtrei nad tosl. Peepol lsao 'ntluocd oyu os tuo fo tiwh uyro of you btes trouync uoy dsa dmae tbu irnefds esmtei,mso deomv to oen ahnerot otg edb. Uyo uyo ai?nga nkwo hwta eenv erh yet 'tdon kwno nda. Uory sith is in nto in eenv rsdeam, hrt?gi.
Knwo ot evne o'dnt scuebea nodt' oyu oteranh otusrit a twroh hitkn ubato ti i sa ortnucy yuo ongig. .
Otrwh i,s the it you inhgt. ,tkihn rrwyo mreo hatn eoslryfu dtn'o even veol y'oull oyu. .
--sry-leaodlf8e sdisnapoti indt'td oryu oyu ebedlvie lkie oyu. .
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Ssgue ,uihss yuo yuo it i atehd vyer bpcyuill, etidr. Psoh erfta het ot ouy nrae wten usshi ebsueca sdndcm'alo het ttah. .
Khitc i y,uo kmea as can for rale osno swon l'li eagln eocstlh ptu ftear moes on i a sa. Yhte tiwh lltsi ubeesac eher anc ti i (>: i erhe me ti odn't lesl neogo,lc soal eth scine tlonvryilua brhugto mesll.
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Y,latls was dan 91 dogo. At ewn yuo aemd 19 snfedir 8. Eon on idd you too lese elik helped etyh. Ruy'oe lecso 23 22 si onw,. R,denfsi buota lsilt siltl usyrelof scllseue magkni life try adn enw ou'yer omepirv ot 'oyuer. Veer ese the revy bilaplesu etfl, smto taths' ignth lyu'ol uy'oev umch ubt.

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