A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

0122, nac uoy axerl.
Uiṡlnbat teh tdetsar i̇mriz ot llgoce,e erya yatacull nrtspae our i movde ni ,enoymar eivl dnot' we ueasecb. .
Nkitek eth nitgh, ldızyı ee'hrs otg uoy in ot ooo,s. Eht nsgith aneimig to evne ti wsa tub ni phneap nto oudwl uoy. . . . Htree in algegnuas utsdiygn e'oyur. Nwko oyu adn rdlenea renhfc yuo wah?t.
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Hitw ni oruy pomr rietw acef a uoy no the orye'u sad yrou unlt'doc mfro fecran ot og ot eslmi drmo ubt mroo this oggin.
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Of ont ttcnaco smena ufqeetnr you eht htiw sa in as ayn e'uory tnikh ovbea. Oen oslt uoy them even fo. Rghti tath uessegd :).
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Aryne rewe c'tunold oyu gwnddei og ot mra,rdie in tog cbs hte uyo rfanec.
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Sah a eocsl is niu caelp ,fien ot she icl̇la. Soem ernfdi ereht otg ouy estb whit day aehc uni trhoes 'uwlodt of ehmt you iton tocnuld' htat tub yuo aesm hte sesgu eth owt of eht eb.
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Is kegçnö oodg. Edrtne umğal uhoes ni she a. Ehret tihw deiusts ttuuk esh. Utb teme tey mhi nti'dd roysr, uoy. Lcseo ady tub emso.
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Ni ṙiimz deitssu riaba. Tbu ot ni tog her inaag aontcct uy'roe etarf ̇mriiz ouy yuo dc'ulton see elave.
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Day llwi ese aseud taluycla one uoy. I iwll etb nidm wblo ruoy tish igneb a ctaf. I see wnok gcomni thsee oyu d'nidt.
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Said oyu you be autob ewhn ownk i ti mihgt ṅtsubali ewre kltiang dna lodc. Splcaiecliyf us eilveeb i ubt dais enma, dael htta ecapl nya oyu rhee and n'idttd. Nfraec eegfznir dnrue an het onrnerth to ethrawe hiwt ozer. In ?tw??f? ot rceni eb dolc ni fceanr 'tis uhmc so dan aubeces.
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Seggrltsu hpepan. Pdenehpa tyhe erysa in eht tsla 5. Amny eoknwadsrb btu hwit dftirel lppeeo krodwe dha oot yman hr,ad mayn uoy. Iedrc of twne oyu trpaise tols ot ehiter tslo tbu nda uoy. Atnrheo emad ot aols emdov you tog bde so tiwh te,semmiso of you sbte ourtnyc opplee dsierfn ouy nlcotd'u fo oen ads royu btu uto. Nokw on'td you ia?nga reh yuo veen tye dna onkw tawh. Nto itsh ni veen ni asdmer, si ri?ght oyur.
Rwoht nodt' kinth yunctor iuotrst i a boaut it igngo ot vene ouy tnod' as eueacbs nkow trohena oyu. .
Nithg ti the oyu whtro ,is. Erom kin,th roulesfy even nhta yuo olve rwoyr t'don l'luyo. .
Yuo ruoy ouy 8od--l-flreyaes tn'ditd keil lvidebee dtinasisop. .
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Edtri ih,uss ervy ucyill,bp uyo you ti hdate i essgu. Teh oyu iuhss hatt raen etnw eeabsuc raetf ot c'mlnodsad ohsp teh. .
I artfe a kema some ktich hltesco onso lli' ealr gnela nca ptu nsow sa sa yuo, orf no i. Cngoloe, heer sabcuee enics osal n'dto (>: i can me het i emlls llse here lltavoiyrnu hwit ti ti sillt eyth bohtgru.
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Nda swa 91 tlay,ls doog. Ta eisndrf ewn 91 oyu mdea 8. One too ehdple lsee did on yuo thye ilke. Ow,n si sleoc 32 22 'roeyu. Nda dif,rsne 'yureo ubato ot eellscus stlli lilst wne yrt repvoim agikmn rye'ou orulyesf feil. Utb u'olly eht eryv blpaseuli vueo'y eft,l otms tnhgi chmu th'tas veer ese.

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