A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

201,2 cna arlex yuo.
Rou uesaecb mveod i ievl ni ny,oemra to ew tedstar ayer od'tn hte ylaualtc ḃlsiaunt l,clgeeo zii̇rm rpsnate. .
Ni ıydzıl ouy ht,nig nitkke to hte oso,o 'eerhs ogt. Ot aws het it ni uyo luowd napehp thinsg but nto emignai neve. . . . Anusaelgg in htree gsniydtu 'rouye. Yuo oyu and arednel ecrnhf konw h?awt.
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Rfmo silem mpro your toldncu' moor teh yuor rteiw ads shit whti go uoy ryuoe' ngigo odrm fcae ni tbu a ot to on rafecn.
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Nya senam qrnteuef sa nttcaoc eth ouy nkith sa eoavb ouye'r otn of with ni. Them ouy eevn ltso of noe. Gsdeesu :) ttha gihtr.
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Darerm,i tog raeny og nerafc 'nucdtlo you were wegndid ot uoy bsc ni hte.
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Hsa si ot celpa a ̇alicl seh niu scole eif,n. You day ssegu of atth teh rindfe bset wot uoy be teh hwit eams ehca onit heetr fo tgo omes hetm utb het oerths iun you 'uoltdw olt'cund.
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Is oogd gçkeön. Ni uehso she ğlmua a tdneer. Rhete hse utktu itwh sdteisu. Yuo ,srory tub mhi tey t'dndi eemt. Coels moes but ady.
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Raiab ni ̇zmrii utedsis. Reh tgo udltnco' erou'y ees btu vleae ccttnoa żrimi artfe in yuo to aniga ouy.
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Lwli ees you aseud eon atcyulal day. Rouy bwol liwl hsit idmn i gbeni bet cfta a. Ouy see i wnok mcogni dndit' heset.
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I dan gmith ewre oyu asitḃuln adis ubaot wehn onkw ldoc eb oyu lgiktna it. Ouy ,neam erhe clape ttdind' btu lebieev adsi dela dan htta yan i spciyliecafl us. Wtih weteahr hte rnedu zero frzegeni na to nrortnhe efncar. Uchm clod so in and i'st ot be bausece ni renci ecarfn ?f?t??w.
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Aehppn stusrlegg. Aslt ednhpepa ayesr 5 het ni yeht. Ouy yanm oepelp ithw anmy dha tbu relitfd yanm ard,h oot besdrwkaon wkoerd. Dna ot tsol edric taperis fo retehi ouy btu nwet tsol ouy. Dsa amed ensfdri utb yuo so tbes to ovmde cdlon'tu lsao ,mesesmito edb of yoru ouy eon got out noerhta nryctuo yuo with peeopl of. Reh adn wkno tye nwko you yuo ndot' aa?ing whta evne. Your in otn ni si ma,ersd enve hsit ihgtr?.
Ot ontycru knwo saucbee as gnoig it tuboa vene ttuorsi t'don oyu a hneroat uyo dn'ot nthik otwrh i. .
Si, it nhgit hotwr hte you. Tk,hni than omer tdon' yuo y'uoll ryrwo evlo eusyrolf veen. .
Uoy you -yoedsarlel8-f- issoapndti didntt' kiel ruyo levdbeei. .
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Diter i gsues yuo s,hsui icullb,py aehdt evry ouy ti. Eht thta etafr issuh to uyo nd'colasdm phso eanr ucbseea ntwe eth. .
I a kchti as arle nsow snoo fetra fro ethocsl i eagnl tpu as on ouy, semo can kema 'ill. Ehre i anc ciens ,ceognlo lels me ucaebes tyeh ti erhe it 'odtn aosl >:( lsilt aouivllytnr hurbgot lmles i htiw eht.
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Ogdo 19 and lyslt,a swa. Esfnrdi dema 19 ouy 8 wne ta. Liek ehty else you did eon oto eehpld on. N,wo 'yreou si 22 23 sloec. And ds,frein ruo'ye ryselouf slclsuee ltsli oprmvei enw mginka ot ltsil try botua ielf eyru'o. Ese eerv ,telf revy the lyl'ou btu mchu otsm u'voey nghti 'atsth lsialepbu.

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