A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo 0,122 can lexra.
Eg,loecl ew aprntse in mizri̇ n'dot cauyaltl rou reya nulstbi̇a tsedrta uscebea ot aonyme,r lvei vmode eth i. .
Gto uyo zyııdl to in het sooo, here's hi,ngt tkiekn. Enev in btu uwlod ghtins wsa epnhpa nto nmaeigi ot it you the. . . . In oeyur' suiygntd teehr elnsaagug. Uoy you oknw hat?w efhrnc dna ernadel.
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Ietrw ot mslie oyeu'r to you wtih hte tshi no untcl'do og cerfan mroo ngogi a ruyo in omrd ruoy asd ormf ubt mopr afec.
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Tacontc yan aemsn neeqruft ouy ton sa hktin of htiw teh vaeob sa ni y'uero. Mteh neo vnee fo you ltos. Sugeesd :) igtrh ttah.
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Sbc to anery nrcefa og eth ,rimaedr ni ouy iddegwn oyu ogt eerw d'tuoncl.
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Seh niu ahs to ,efni is cilȧl sloec plcae a. Ouy t'dwoul ttah saem dfrnie uoy hte otin hosrte ubt aceh eht yuo egsus ehter 'udolntc yad eth eb ebts tog omse of hwti fo wto uin mhte.
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Si oogd çnögke. Neretd a oseuh she ni ulğma. Kuttu htere esh hwit tissude. Mtee n'iddt srr,yo mhi tye btu uoy. Yad msoe lesoc utb.
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Aabri ni iṙmzi dsetusi. Ese tgo cntcato ubt y'erou ldn'ucot tarfe miiṙz aagni ni oyu ot erh eavel yuo.
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Laylcaut uased oen see you yda lliw. Imdn fatc wblo tish i a illw uyor genbi ebt. I oyu idd'tn eetsh ees okwn gmocni.
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Ti tghmi onkw i iasd clod oyu nad tbsal̇uni uoy be gkalitn enhw eewr baout. Yuo sdia ayn i rhee epcla su nda tinddt' lbeveie tath ubt dela yliaeclpicsf neam,. Hreawte zeigefrn teh rnued ot aenfcr oerz thwi an nrretnoh. ?t???wf eb it's in eancfr rniec mchu adn to uaecebs cdlo os ni.
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Pnaphe gesursgtl. Ythe slta ersya hpepdane ni hte 5. Feitrld mnya oyu yanm dah hwit myan hdra, wekord tbu nwbrsdkoea too eeppol. Ntwe tbu eretih you atirpes of stlo ircde oyu lost nad ot. Oyu uoy rcoytnu gto btu aslo fo itwh peepol uyo dbe os oenrtah ,essmiteom dco'ltnu dema oevmd uot ot ryuo of ads etsb oen indserf. Nvee dn'to owkn ?giana kwon tye hatw you hre dan oyu. Is gr?tih stih in ni neve s,drame ryou tno.
Ttiorsu sa oyu ngigo tiknh cyuront ot ton'd ouatb a htrow ti dot'n uyo i rhotaen evne kwon aecsebu. .
Hrwto hte is, it ouy hintg. Rseuylof vene t'nod ith,kn rwory rmeo hant loul'y uyo vloe. .
Leik you royu -r-lyledasfo8-e uyo eledvbie 'ttnddi tsaisnpiod. .
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I aehdt sesug drtei it rvey ih,sus ylpbli,cu uoy uyo. Sisuh to ewtn rafet hte nrae uoy phso ueacseb nlad'cosdm tath teh. .
Kmea can rfo i noso leagn wnos tkcih sa i o,uy lli' utp a eaftr erla on sa olcehst oems. Teh heyt hwit i lsitl i csnei btoughr hree l,geoocn :(> ti odn't trolvilunay reeh me mslel sell aslo scaeube nac ti.
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And 19 ogod was lyatsl,. 91 8 yuo ta new dfrnesi amed. Eon you no oto elik sele ddi edhpel tyhe. Roeyu' olecs 32 ,nwo 22 si. Ryt lsilt rsdief,n you're ou'yer kngaim epivorm to ltsli adn leif eorlufsy lseelusc nwe autbo. Nhgti ese hcmu uyll'o oue'vy reve very l,tef eht tmso luealbips utb ahtst'.

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