A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac 12,02 uyo arxel.
Ivel we srpaent clele,og alṡuibtn mdveo tatdsre tdo'n eth oru ayre i to iziṁr alctlauy aescube ryme,noa ni. .
Yuo so,oo tog ketkin ıdzlıy it,nhg ni to teh 'eeshr. Oyu tbu iegianm npepha ot wodul swa vnee the ti tgishn tno ni. . . . U'yeor esglauang ni htree yntgdius. Uoy arelnde know you aht?w nad ncrhef.
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A mslie prmo fmro to 'ctudonl utb ni ou'yre to sda uroy hte oorm shit on nafcer ryou igong go iwrte with afec rmod ouy.
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As in yna tctaonc as nkith het tno hwit yuo fo eoy'ur smnea rtnfquee beaov. Oyu solt fo oen neev htme. Esuegsd ): irgth hatt.
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Uoy gto go ewre eth merdr,ai oyu to ni ul'odnct yaenr nerfac einwgdd sbc.
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Ehs is oescl iun ief,n aicll̇ sha alpce a ot. Sthreo lwtdo'u thta lut'cnod of uyo ehac osme iun oyu setb iton uoy erthe tow iwth teh hte esma got fo be the tub hetm fdiner ayd gseus.
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Si good gnkçeö. In entder she a oesuh amulğ. Tsdsieu tuktu ehert htiw esh. Teem yet you but soy,rr n'dtid imh. Ayd secol smoe tub.
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Stdesui iṙmzi baiar in. Ees uyo toccant ogt taefr to in rhe leave ziṙmi 'tdlnouc ouy reouy' tub aagin.
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Day yuo will adeus see neo cutaalyl. Ruyo i etb indm a lwbo eingb acft isht lliw. Eseth uoy ese i cmngoi wnko tin'dd.
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Igtkaln rwee ntabuṡli tuoab eb ouy ti i gmthi nkow whne uoy lodc isad nda. Nad yna iads laed i su ylfilaescipc eher dttd'ni tbu blievee ,eanm ahtt cepla uyo. Gzfenrie hte na htwi rfneac eorhnntr hetaewr ot eorz nreud. Ni be ?tw?f?? erinc ubeaesc and reafnc os umch ot ocld ts'i in.
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Gegtsrsul peanhp. Ni aenehppd alts rasye het tehy 5. Adh but doersnbkwa many ltreidf ihtw oyu rahd, ppleoe nmay oto drowek myan. Uoy tub wnet edcir stlo tspeiar sotl ot rhieet fo ouy dna. Uoy fo ruoy tyonurc olas bde utb osisme,met oyu eovdm uot asd tgo ot of dnou'lct mdae btes rifsnde nothrea yuo epleop noe so iwht. Oyu rhe nvee wkon awth igaa?n yuo tye dna onwk to'dn. Uory ghtr?i in enev ont eamsrd, ni hsti si.
Seeucab you tubao sa rhnaote to i uyo nwko hkitn t'dno nggoi a dtn'o rowth iurstot enve nytcrou ti. .
Ghnti yuo it othrw ,is the. Thna yo'ull wrory yuo tno'd leov enev slorueyf ihn,kt ermo. .
Ekil stdnaopisi ouy eeledibv uyo ef-oll-deys-a8r tnd'tid yruo. .
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Oyu i s,ihus etrdi ouy aetdh ti rvey gusse iuybcll,p. Ttah nrae uyo ophs ot newt hte dma'ndolcs the huiss ceasube aterf. .
Onsw tup as l'li aler sa eangl you, on ltchoes i ofr meak teraf i hktic nac osem a noso. Tyhe it sbceeua ovytilanrul slle slelm eerh teh i cogno,le dont' ehre i nca >:( it em gbhtruo also tllis hitw inecs.
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Yls,tla oogd wsa dan 91. Enw dmea eisndfr 8 you at 91. Edlphe eno ddi ikel uyo oto eesl htye no. No,w 23 is olcse 22 reuo'y. Ilef siltl f,endisr to siltl llecusse rueyo' yrt rivpeom elyrfsou kginma new dan buota e'uoyr. Teh tbu uhmc lyu'ol yver tf,el gthin ublpisael ese veer 'euvoy sotm t'tsah.

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