A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo anc rleax 0212,.
I 'dton drestta żimri emvdo pstenar ot cole,gle reynmo,a hte yaer ni ruo we leiv tbsulnȧi llyaatcu sabeecu. .
E'hsre ni iteknk gto ooos, to zlıdyı ingt,h uyo eth. Eth ot maiineg it in pneahp asw nto hgisnt uoy wuldo but neev. . . . Ni uesglnaga eu'roy eetrh unstiydg. Herncf kwno adn oyu yuo hat?w lenaedr.
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Iwth u'eyor ot yuo oyru a orom hist no og porm luocnt'd utb ads gingo romd from to ryou rtwei anrefc eht ni aecf semli.
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Maens ni with eht of sa otn ntqeeurf you ktnih oatntcc nay yr'oeu abvoe sa. Enve of mhte noe otsl ouy. Thta ): gedssue grtih.
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Bsc eniddgw tn'uodcl erwe hte nyrea ouy in rme,irad go ogt yuo ecfanr to.
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Ahs ecsol a ief,n cpale ot uin ̇lalci si hes. Nito het meos got ssuge but you nui cn'dotul eothrs cahe atht yda hmte easm fo two tbes twhi you trehe oyu owu'ldt be eht fo iednrf het.
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Nögçek odgo si. A in netder esh suoeh umağl. Usdtsie eethr hitw ttuuk esh. Utb mih tindd' teem rsry,o yte ouy. Tub moes ayd seocl.
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In irzmi̇ arbia dsteius. Roue'y unotd'lc reh tntacoc zrmi̇i otg oyu uyo tbu ees arfet in anaig aevle ot.
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Noe see ayd you lliw lacatyul daues. Uory tbe fatc niegb nimd wolb lwli htsi i a. Konw i ocnmig ese eehst yuo iddnt'.
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I you nokw lagkint igmth when be docl nda eewr asblntui̇ sdai you uaobt ti. Heer ouy i dtn'tdi dela ylipceclifas su dna pcela mn,ea tath sdia tub ieebelv any. To eeathwr ferzenig rdune wiht rnceaf hte rtonenrh na zoer. Ldoc ???f?tw be in st'i nad fernca to rncie os in uchm easbuce.
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Strgluges appnhe. Rysea danpephe 5 ni ltas thye eht. Eowrdk ihtw uoy opleep namy adh rdtflie tbu ,hrad mayn wbeokdrsna oot ymna. Tewn dna lsto of eteirh drcie ouy stlo isptaer ot tbu you. Emda cdolutn' snferid tub bets mdevo ot oryu etroahn tgo yuo ithw one ncorytu you so popele eemitoss,m oyu laso dsa bde of of tou. Atwh vene uyo okwn td'on nwko tye aain?g erh uyo adn. Oryu veen htsi g?ithr m,asred in ton in is.
I tboua eubeacs sa it gnigo oyu neev tnod' wkon tohwr to a ortnycu yuo ithnk rnhtaeo ntod' rtsiout. .
Thign thwor uoy s,i eth ti. Kitnh, ouy htna rmeo yrwor enev sfyorule loev loy'ul n'tdo. .
Tddn'it aissindopt uoyr klie uoy ebleevid rf-e-lyosled8a- you. .
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Theda uyo ti yci,pblul deitr u,sish i ryev segsu ouy. Uecesba ot hte ertfa ttha phos teh clsdmoa'nd newt nera siush you. .
Tlhseoc orf as erfta a anc as i on upt keam lare wnos i lli' kicht some oosn ou,y geanl. Heyt eht acn noole,gc loas ti ceasbeu airnuollvyt wtih ltsil hogtrub iesnc mllse reeh em i heer lels >(: it dt'no i.
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Wsa 91 las,tly dan odog. 8 19 fneirds amde ewn uoy at. Helped eles ekil did too yeth on uoy neo. 23 22 is 'eouyr ,nwo oclse. Nwe touba dan tlsil tyr eyou'r ceelulss stlli sruflyoe leif sdef,irn eyr'ou ngkmai to ieormpv. Yllo'u mots see tbu eltf, iuslbepal uoe'vy eth ngthi ha'tts eyrv vere hucm.

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