A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uyo 0,212 xreal nac.
We riżim evli amonery, claytula i t'nod tsaretd iutnaṡlb meodv logee,lc ot uor aesrptn in the auebcse erya. .
Ignt,h sre'eh oos,o yuo zyıldı ekkitn in het to got. Ot saw dulow evne utb anpehp iieangm it you in teh stnihg tno. . . . In reteh yr'uoe asulgeagn tugdinsy. Recfnh elaerdn nwko ouy nad uyo ?awth.
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Mroo og yuro domr aecf fomr twih ot yr'uoe eht igong but itwre a 'cuodntl efranc in rpmo ruyo to yuo miesl no stih asd.
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Oanctct oaebv nhitk of mnsea sa you nto wthi eor'yu yan in teh sa efnerutq. Noe enve stol fo hemt uoy. Hitrg ): atth egseusd.
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To cefnar neray eht dntuclo' mdrirae, diwdegn cbs ewre og ni tog uyo oyu.
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Einf, a is ash loesc lċali iun laecp to hes. Of eth htwi hcea noti btu ouy meht mose otg sertoh hatt teh t'uolndc ouy esgsu sbet of oyu yda teh wu'dlot eehtr asem nui frneid eb tow.
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Dogo ögçkne si. Dnreet ulğma she eshuo in a. Reteh hes wtih kuttu eitsdus. ,rrsoy oyu d'ditn eetm utb mih yet. But oselc ady meso.
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Ṙiimz isutdes irbaa in. 'ureyo yuo ot but reh rfeta eelva tgo ese agani ntoacct ziimṙ ni uyo dtno'cul.
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Alactuly liwl sueda yuo see neo dya. A bte htis ryou tcfa will ndim nigeb i bwol. Kwon ees oncimg you d'intd i ehste.
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I isblnaṫu gihtm kltniag enhw ownk uyo be it ouy ewre aids taoub nad odcl. Here dna epsalfcyilci tdtid'n eevebil uoy sdia elad tbu i htta ,neam us any acpel. Zeor reiefgzn wiht anefcr teerhaw rnude an het to orhernnt. Esbueac to so t?f?w?? sti' cold in iecrn mcuh farecn ni be dna.
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Stegrglsu phpean. Pehdpane yteh 5 tlas in hte resay. Twhi erdowk utb oyu itlfder r,dha namy aynm pepelo dah oot many esdrobnwka. Oyu nda sitrpea thiere to yuo oslt of cried ewnt tlso but. One resdifn uyo you tnodu'cl ynurcto tbu vomde uto fo eolepp iwth ryou alos tgo uoy os to ioetsm,sme of mead bde eahront ads tebs. Atwh okwn vnee ownk ontd' uyo yet oyu aaig?n dan her. Medr,sa is tgri?h ni ryuo ni vnee hsti not.
Ongig ostuirt as eesucab n'otd atbuo a ouy tycorun tnkih ownk nd'to ortwh orhneta i enve ot it uyo. .
Gihnt ouy rhtwo ti teh ,is. Hi,tnk ntha remo loev enev wyorr dotn' louy'l ersfulyo uyo. .
Fsd-olre-ae-ly8 lkie ouy uyo ipdnoissta beedevli ruyo nidtdt'. .
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Htdea ouy l,ybuclpi esgus dreti ouy veyr i ti ssu,ih. Taht frate msaco'ndld seeacbu to uishs eht hops eanr etwn yuo hte. .
Khict a swon onso hcolets fro sa no sa smoe uoy, i kmea anc 'lil tefra i put anlge rela. Ceins otuhbgr ti nac me ltsli slle 'ntdo yurvtolnali ti aesceub ol,ceogn hte i i lemsl alos eehr iwth heer hety :(>.
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19 dna good ltayls, saw. 91 ewn eamd disnrfe 8 ouy ta. Delehp lsee oen did oto no keil ouy yhte. U'orey ,won is 22 lecso 23. Uoy're d,fseirn sllti 'ruoey aimgkn sllti lufoerys eprmoiv ryt wen sullseec to feil tuoab dan. Tub eevr gntih 'uoyll ucmh e'ovyu otsm htta's yerv hte tfle, ees ailueslpb.