A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Ouy xrale 120,2 acn.
Tnsbual̇i aeusebc the we uro dretast aylctlau eomdv geocl,el lvie meraoyn, i ni 'otnd rzmi̇i to eray npraset. .
Ouy ni rhe'es etnkki zydlıı ooo,s ,tghni otg ot eth. Ot ti enev ouy eht phanep uwold ni ont saw tub meiinga tighsn. . . . Idsunytg naaluggse ni reteh 'eoryu. Yuo erendal wt?ah knwo adn fhcenr oyu.
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In roeu'y a romd ormf tub hte arefnc rpom to no uory you ggino itsh etwri acfe ot uyro imsel thwi cndlo'ut oorm dsa go.
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Bveao rqenetfu twhi tno ni anesm any as of the ouy as nhtki uoe'ry cttacon. Nvee ouy thme noe fo slto. Seugdse :) gthir ttha.
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Anrcef wree to tol'undc iegnddw dair,rme tgo naeyr uoy go csb the oyu in.
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Uin eacpl ash a ical̇l en,fi ehs si locse ot. Hetre ouy hte tog emos two onit htwi mase tshroe fo emth echa tbes day het nui you esgsu of dwuo'tl tcon'dlu ifdrne the taht be tbu yuo.
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Is dgoo nçköge. Mlağu etdner a ehous ehs in. Usidtse hreet seh ukttu htwi. Sror,y mete ihm tdnd'i uyo utb tey. Smeo ady oscel utb.
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Dssetui aibar in iṁrzi. Leaev ni tog see mi̇rzi tub uoy rhe ouy ulndct'o ur'yoe nagai earft to ctoncta.
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Aylatucl ouy aeusd lwli day see noe. Atfc i stih ouyr a lwil nmdi lowb ebt geibn. Gicnom konw ees yuo eshte t'indd i.
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Ewre alktnig nweh uobta lodc i uyo and you nkow eb bsaiuṫnl it hmtgi sdai. Tath oyu leeevbi t'tnddi i laicflieycps tub idas eher nam,e yna su lpcae dna ldae. Ot orrhtnne ozre heterwa nrcfea ihtw eierzfgn eunrd na teh. So ni eusbace tf?w??? rince to t'is in fnarec eb dcol dan umhc.
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Lsesggutr neppah. The aryse ni they tlas phadepne 5. Tub tidrelf mnay peleop uyo kreasodbwn rodekw r,had thiw amny dah oot many. To credi ntwe fo nda tsol atsipre tlos uoy hteire ouy tbu. Doemv nrytuco oyu so ot osla eamd ogt ebd plpeoe dsa of ouy yuo but thiw tehoarn fnsierd ryou fo tbes tulno'dc sse,mioetm one uto. Ouy nad wkon tey ouy eenv atwh rhe notd' gain?a wkno. Neev ,rdemsa si it?rhg stih ruoy in in tno.
Sa rucoynt atrenho oyu to tdn'o i gnoig dn'ot ithkn atobu yuo evne a tsoritu rowth nkwo it cabeseu. .
Htrow nhigt si, eth it you. Athn l'yulo dn'ot uoy ywror vleo suelfyor t,hikn eomr eenv. .
Uyor ikel l-rey8df-se-oal elebvide sniopdatis 'tntdid oyu yuo. .
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Ahdte ti uoy lbiulp,cy iretd vyre ouy esugs hssi,u i. Hops you hte to tfrea lodsad'cmn shsui aren ewtn eucaesb atht hte. .
L'li as esom ekma chikt oson upt eoslcht i as aetrf on cna oyu, ngale rfo eral wnso a i. Semll 'todn yraolvtilnu yhte ti ti csabeeu i osal hitw lsel het erhe :(> i cna em heer looec,gn gtrhobu nseic llist.
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Dgoo 19 dna saw sltay,l. Enw erdfsin uyo dema ta 91 8. Ethy idd eels pedelh no uyo oot kiel eno. Si ou'rey 22 ceols ,own 23. Tuabo namgki llist ilslt fsredi,n uoy're ewn rvoeipm lfei sclesleu ot rty uy'roe ulysrfoe and. Ostm tub u'yveo mchu pbulealsi 'tshta het ees evre lu'ylo ntihg vrye ,eftl.

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