A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Oyu 2210, cna exlra.
Tn'od ni esarttd eayr nasrpte to ew ,neamory uor mvedo nbutislȧ taaluycl abeeucs teh i eo,ellcg iżmir eliv. .
In n,tigh iktkne oo,so ouy zdyılı to ehs're eht ogt. Ot gimaien inghts it not yuo hneppa ubt was vnee het in wodlu. . . . Ngusealag eruoy' ni duyinsgt herte. Enrdela you hnrfec ?wath nad ouy kwno.
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Rouy rodm e'oyru witre oyru uoy to to btu a meils gigno tshi het go efca rmpo mrfo tnl'udoc room hwti das ecnarf on ni.
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Eht baoev of sa as tno you 'yreuo ihktn uerefqtn twhi esmna ni ctctaon yna. Vnee slot oyu of oen ethm. Thta ): tighr egssedu.
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In erew o'uldcnt uoy bcs gnwided og feancr tog oyu het iaed,rrm eynar to.
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Nui hes ifn,e a pcela to si ash ȧlcli olsce. Be hte the niu atht tbse hte meht irndef osem saem wto tog uoy cudtonl' you ohrest yuo gsesu yad tub of tiwh dtu'wlo fo ehca toni ethre.
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Is gökçen dogo. A denter ualğm she ni seuho. Kuttu tihw ehs erteh etussdi. Utb hmi eetm uyo tye it'dnd s,royr. Eoms eocls tub ady.
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Ni iabra istedus ̇rizmi. See aeevl attccon ri̇zim ogt erh eruy'o ot you tl'ocndu fater uoy agnai in ubt.
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Eno ouy liwl ady dusae ees laatluyc. Giben bet oblw siht a will ryou atcf dnmi i. N'ddti sethe mgonic i ees you knwo.
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̇unaltsbi wokn when dna eb uyo disa ti btoua mitgh nlgktai dolc uyo i rwee. Ldea ae,mn uoy nya leapc cicelisyplfa indd'tt and rehe su ttha i bleeive but isda. Egzrenif hte roze cerfan wthi ot ernud rheweta na ertonnhr. Chum bauesec ?fw???t so ni ts'i cldo ancefr cirne adn to ni eb.
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Pnahep erstglsgu. Lats ni ehyt hte 5 hpdnaeep syrae. Lefrtid epeolp nyma kewrdo anym tiwh btu adh h,rda boeadwnsrk too mayn oyu. Rdeic ot pirtesa sotl btu ouy you tslo tenw and fo heerit. Ndrefsi ogt htaneor fo evdom btu uyro ouy you dn'tculo sda tesb tuo twih so rotcuny of emisem,sot edb ot mdea oen losa ouy eeppol. N?aagi uoy nwko wnko t'odn tahw tey uyo and hre eenv. Eenv in hits yuro in gt?irh nto m,esadr si.
Enve a itsruto yuo cabeesu ot ohwtr uyo ubtao as nhtki rhotean i nogig oncrtuy on'dt tdo'n kown it. .
Oyu nihtg thwro ti the i,s. You yolfsure atnh mero oyrwr neev evol khnti, 'yluol 'dnot. .
Eilk vedeeilb dnit'td oury ouy apiodstnis ouy a-ro-yel-dslf8e. .
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Tdeha sgesu yvre itdre oyu i oyu it ilp,ubcly uh,ssi. Iussh da'ncdmlos ot nwet yuo het ahtt near ophs acesueb the frate. .
Sltcohe rof acn a lngae wnos esom rtafe i lera il'l ptu kaem as i tikhc no as snoo you,. Uaolnviyrlt seinc aols ereh lsmel i ooncl,ge ereh lles it ti hte acn >(: em ltsil hitw i bceusea ontd' hyet gbothur.
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Good aws nad lystal, 91. Ta ouy fidsrne meda 8 ewn 91. Etyh kiel pdelhe too idd no uoy eles noe. 22 eyuro' si esocl 32 on,w. Uey'ro flie lislt tlsli eyo'ur dsf,neir elslecsu wen kngmia ryt yfsleuor to uotba reomipv dan. Lpslbeiau astt'h intgh vree see sotm tub the y'oull eyrv much felt, ue'ovy.

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