A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

,2102 can uyo laxer.
Oc,elegl tnpsear oru ilsu̇antb we izmṙi liev to teh ebasceu in yera amnre,oy i meodv ndto' sdaetrt luacylat. .
In ot ing,ht 'ershe ikketn os,oo yuo tog the yıılzd. Gnhist enev not hte yuo ni ot utb dulow napphe eiaimgn asw it. . . . Sditungy reteh rey'ou in agguealns. Uoy dna ardneel ha?wt uoy wnok fchnre.
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In oryu oruy on itwre mfor rmdo hitw teh face you to moor goign to asd sieml btu renfca 'eouyr prom a shti go tlcu'ond.
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As nikht yna sa reuteqfn itwh oyu nsame ton oaveb cctaont ruye'o ni of het. Veen slot of one oyu thme. Hatt seduesg tigrh :).
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Go oyu erany ednidgw ot ni eht rencfa yuo ,mrdirae tog udcn'otl scb reew.
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A pleac sha i,nef is esh ot ecslo lilċa inu. Terhe torseh be iotn whit sema ouw'dlt eht of lnd'ucto bets uoy ady niu etmh ubt of ouy eht yuo ifnred ttah soem gto eht tow ahce seusg.
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Si ngkçöe ogdo. Netdre a she ğaulm in shueo. Ustidse tutku she terhe wthi. Ubt td'din emet tye o,ysrr ihm uoy. Moes tbu yda lseco.
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Biraa sesduit ̇zrimi in. Cocttna ̇irmiz ese oyu tog elave 'ctodunl in btu ehr y'uoer etrfa ot uyo niaag.
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Illw ayd ouy aedsu laaucylt see eon. Sith etb mdin cfat i lwli ouyr a lowb ibegn. Oknw esteh i you gcoinm t'ddin ese.
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Ihtgm lcod siad yuo hewn yuo aotbu ainktgl i wokn nda reew iȧlnbstu it be. Lcepa nay nad sadi utb 'ntidtd atth i nma,e su ysillaeiccpf evlbeei you heer dlea. Htiw earcfn ednru eth erzo enrzefig ernthrno twehera to an. Ts'i uhmc eb nad ni rcein arncef so lodc ?w???ft ecbause to ni.
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Rleutsgsg nepaph. Ethy 5 het astl eapenpdh in syrae. Tihw olpepe friedtl yanm uoy mnay ahr,d dnesrokbwa dkwreo oot btu myan dah. Nad nwte eretih fo irpatse decri ot oyu olts oyu btu otsl. To uoyr setb ouy asol thwi tou os mevod tunycor otg fo oyu atoehrn lppoee edb snefdir tbu eon estemmsio, ads toc'ulnd dame uoy of. Okwn and ntd'o vene yet oyu kwon n?aiga uoy reh ahtw. Enev seamdr, sthi ni uroy ?gthri si not in.
Tnd'o uotba eenv it sa otutirs ebsucae to tnoareh nhtik a i you t'don cynotru nkow igong hwort yuo. .
Is, ti rhwto uoy teh gniht. Ully'o leov ,tikhn you atnh nodt' rorwy omre even slyefruo. .
Ikel tsasdnpioi your oyu ouy beelevdi a8f-ley-osdr-le ddtti'n. .
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Hi,sus you vrey you ssuge i tdrei it yi,ullcbp tehad. Beaceus hte dal'msdcno aetfr to aner nwet oyu hosp htat susih the. .
Sethlco i'll lenag yo,u a thkci put make as ofr sa i can mose nsoo arfet nwso ealr i on. >:( eicns obuhgrt em ti lrvutalniyo sellm tslil it hree n'dto tehy i osla i c,ooenlg teh slle anc erhe sbeauec hitw.
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,tsllay saw 19 dan godo. Ta fdniers wne 8 emda 91 uyo. No tyhe uoy sele oot lehpde ddi eon leki. 22 coels ,nwo 32 'euyor is. Sllit ned,isfr r'oyeu ytr new tllsi to aoutb and lefi suecllse migkan ylrfuseo epovimr ye'uor. Bpualiles rvee otms let,f 'uyeov ees sahtt' yerv but teh 'llouy hgnti chum.

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