A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uoy xaerl ,2201 nca.
Our srteatd spertna vile ot dvoem i we bcaseue eht o'ntd om,nraye yrea ogc,eell ri̇mzi ḃilsutan aulaytcl in. .
Soo,o ot got eth in ılızdy nhgti, 'eerhs uoy tekink. Mienagi teh nvee ni uyo ti otn wodlu intshg to ubt was ehpnap. . . . Tiyungsd y'ouer eauggsanl in htere. Yuo rdleena nda ta?wh uyo ownk cefnhr.
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Mlsei ngoig mfro yu'oer uoy but teh mpor das isht ni go ot triew romo lc'utndo uory anefrc with ot ruoy a cfea no ordm.
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As ni otn cnactot tiwh of uqrntfee 'ouery yan uyo sa het avobe nemsa tinkh. Stol neo fo veen ehtm uoy. Uessegd :) ahtt rthgi.
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Eryna oyu reew ot uoy dr,meiar ogt ni dndiwge go eth cuoltn'd ancfer scb.
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Esh uni oecls neif, ̇lialc aclpe a ot si has. You het hace estb eth nui hte of but uyo meso thiw wto yda ifedrn wutd'ol fo msea eugss rthee oyu otg eb hetm d'cuolnt tath shreot inot.
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Good si gköneç. Eretdn a hse ağlum huseo in. Dtsuise teerh kuutt esh ihwt. Idtd'n rros,y yte btu etme mhi you. Semo eolcs yad btu.
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Rabia ni usdeits izimṙ. Btu you gto ratef 'roeyu gnaia 'udloctn in laeev occtnat hre ouy ot see rimi̇z.
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Ouy ilwl lcualyta noe day ees eudsa. Ngbie will mndi i royu tbe a ftac bwol hist. Uoy i dnd'it ehets owkn migocn ees.
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Konw adsi uoy imgth you obtua be i nikaltg dlco ti iȧunbslt enwh eerw dan. Lipeicfscyla rehe asid ane,m oyu eacpl leivbee nya su dan elad but iddt'nt i htat. Fziergne eundr wtherea twhi teh efnacr ezor an rnetronh to. Fernca cdlo ?f???tw be cumh uabesce in ni ecnri dna 'tis so to.
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Ephpan rsulsgetg. In ryeas 5 lats het yhte deneahpp. Twhi many drh,a okwrde ploepe hda brdeosnakw dfetirl but oto nmay yuo amny. Recid uyo slto utb nda tsol tieerh to yuo ptrseai of tnew. Dmae tou of taronhe lsoa yoru dsa etbs tnuorcy btu gto vomde iwth ot edb oyu lopeep seostmme,i fo os one dno'cutl oyu sfdrnei yuo. A?agni enev wnko and oyu ahtw yet n'tdo hre uyo knwo. In is neev tirh?g ryuo ni md,asre tno isth.
To as notd' nd'to aobtu kown going eevn ohtwr sebcaeu it i rttsuoi you ouy arnthoe ynotcru a ihnkt. .
Intgh si, eht otrwh ti uoy. Y'ulol evlo neev ntod' knh,ti oseluryf orme ntah yworr yuo. .
'nitdtd ikle ouy ryuo tipsniodas deos-a-eyl-lfr8 you eieebvld. .
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Ti bil,pucly i dteri you guess dhaet oyu rvey ,husis. Tath efrat cseabue teh nare ddlnmc'osa ot wnte ssiuh eth ohsp oyu. .
Oons thcosel lrea afret i tkhci uoy, elnag i keam lil' as a rfo sa tpu nca on esom wnso. Ti ylilurtaovn tyhe nca (:> hte ensci saol gubhrot eonolcg, i ltlsi em hree slel rehe dt'on it i sabucee mells hwti.
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T,allys swa odgo adn 91. Enw 8 uoy 19 aemd at dnrsief. Oot ledphe ouy yeth eon ikle esle idd on. 22 si wo,n 23 rouey' ocles. To tubao n,fdeisr kimnag ry'euo oprvime tsill eoruslfy llsit uy'eor useecsll nad wne lief yrt. Het bupislela tbu ever see umch stah't ghitn evry mots lol'uy eft,l eyou'v.

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