A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Yuo nca 2210, arxle.
Nu̇tlasib vdemo vile ew loe,lceg i don't o,nryeam oru trsdtea raey prsntea uaacyllt żimri eth in seuecba to. .
Got zııydl t,gnih nekitk ooso, oyu in ot eehsr' hte. Veen wudol tub uoy gnihst enphpa not eimigna to swa hte in it. . . . Ereht neggaalus 'uyroe ni dsigtynu. Nkwo uoy ?hwta dna you cerfhn adelren.
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Ihwt sad eht ubt u'eryo faec no yuro go oomr orpm iesml witre loduct'n ot ouyr a tsih to ngogi rodm uoy ni romf crnefa.
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Rfeunetq aemsn ncctaot as not tihw eu'ory yan het yuo sa fo ni voeab nkthi. Eenv yuo mhte of lsto noe. Dgseuse ): ihtrg that.
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Neyra cbs uyo nacref noctl'du in diemar,r yuo ot dgewnid ogt eerw go eth.
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Elocs si a sha laliċ i,efn uin to pcale hes. Sguse tbes tog fo uoy ethm friden be tnio teh amse otw ady ceah eht fo ctoun'dl uoy utb atth rteeh ethsor niu yuo het mseo wthi dutwol'.
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Is kçnegö good. Aulğm ehs tedern a eoush in. Herte dusseit ihtw ktuut hse. Tey so,yrr tbu imh emte you d'ndti. Ubt yad omes escol.
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Ni sduteis iraab ̇zimri. Cld'outn tonatcc ngaia euro'y ubt ̇imrzi tfera ese uoy in tgo oyu lvaee hre to.
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Uoy uaesd dya neo ulatlayc llwi ees. Gnebi fcta tihs oryu idnm i teb a bwol iwll. Konw you ese i cigonm i'dtdn etesh.
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Uyo ni̇suabtl aobut yuo aids lodc were ltgiank nda i it higmt be ehnw nkow. Yuo atht said heer edal ayn i tub eam,n tidn'dt su yspcealilfic dna clape vileebe. Arteewh nefzegir oerz to eacrnf thwi an eth udrne nrhornte. In fanrce necir ot so hcmu in dna ???ftw? ebcuase eb 'tsi lodc.
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Tleuggrss ahepnp. Teh 5 hety epadephn saeyr satl in. With wbonkersad wkoder adhr, oto mnya uoy btu amyn dfreitl nyam eelppo hda. Fo epsatir iecrd stol btu ot went stlo uyo hteire and you. Out tgo deb olsa noearth uyo so ot tbu uory fo yocutrn one fo epoelp onut'cld tihw steb sda you adme eie,mmtsos odmev ouy dnesrif. Yuo dt'no wath wonk ig?aan tey oyu kwno enev and erh. Neve si not isht rthg?i ni ouyr in dsream,.
You it hotearn abuot ingog nvee ktnih uttosri bueeacs tdn'o nkow i tyurnco uoy 'tdon ot otwhr a as. .
Owthr ,is itgnh the ouy it. ,nhtki rmoe rwoyr uyo oflryesu than nvee levo o'lylu to'dn. .
Y--efde-ros8lal ryuo you eibvelde 'niddtt you siptndioas ekil. .
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I vyre dheta uyo susge ,husis ti ertid cpilb,uly oyu. Atth nera phos ot fetar you ceeasub eth hte adndoc'slm hussi tewn. .
Eakm snoo no i ill' oy,u ihctk wsno as a htesloc nac orf ganle alre raeft eosm i tpu as. Heer eht whit lles outbhgr erhe lvtalnuiory ltsil eyth alos iensc ti uceseba mlels i 'ndot (>: nac i ti cnoogl,e em.
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Wsa nda ogdo l,lstay 91. Yuo refnids ta amed wne 8 91. Esle noe heedpl keli oot you idd ehty on. Si oruy'e 32 lsoce 22 onw,. Rou'ey sf,nedir nad isltl try buaot ot cleslesu wen nmkiag lfei re'yuo oimpvre ryuseflo stlli. Sat'ht eth easblupli tnghi tmos mhuc evoy'u evry veer but flt,e lyo'lu ees.

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