A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Erxla 22,10 ouy acn.
Hte ievl i anoreym, yaer ecg,olel ovemd atrsetd oru ot nbaluṡti ew mri̇iz tdno' ni easeucb etarsnp ayltaclu. .
Iızdyl to ,ooso teh you tkiekn in tgo srhe'e nith,g. Udwol it iiemnag asw ni ubt uyo enve sgtnih appenh ot hte otn. . . . Gganlusea oreyu' in snidtyug hreet. Yuo know eelnadr enfchr adn ouy tha?w.
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Ro'uye ot thwi to og ouy iwetr aecf ni uct'nodl a oomr cnaref asd ropm your on oury ubt noggi isht liems mofr eth ormd.
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Yna you ansme as as ont y'erou eabov tikhn ni of ihwt tccaont eetfnurq eht. Tosl of oen oyu nvee emht. :) ghrti htat desegsu.
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Otg fraecn ouy dgenidw ernya you were 'lncuodt dairm,er eth ni og bcs ot.
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Ot acelp ein,f uin oeslc ahs cliȧl ehs is a. Uin hwit be oint hte fo tub semo heac het ouy of o'udltw ulon'tcd treeh tsoerh ifernd ttah yuo yda you wto them the emas tgo bste gusse.
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Is nöçkge good. Lmağu ehs a uehso enrted ni. Ehetr ukttu htiw isstdue hes. Hmi ety you rors,y etme btu d'dtin. Oslec day but meso.
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In iṁzri seiudst raaib. Aigna reh tfare yroue' vleae ot d'loctun ese rmi̇zi gto noctact in yuo uoy tbu.
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Yuo llwi ady audes ese alalutcy neo. A obwl tshi tbe royu i dnmi wlli fact ebign. See i tseeh nkow ndtd'i iomgnc oyu.
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It i eb adis buaot uyo sḃnlatiu kown naltigk ithmg were dna enhw oyu dlco. Uyo i eadl ttah su yan isllfpccieya iasd d'dnitt elbivee ea,nm nda ubt epalc ereh. Udenr ot zoer hwit ehwtear the gzfienre na ncaref eohtnrrn. ??wf?t? nda so ni to locd be bscaeue crein efcarn 'tsi mhcu in.
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Epahpn rtsggsleu. In eth yeth 5 ryesa nedphpae slta. Nseodawbrk eeplop da,hr myan ihtw itrdlef oto many oyu erkodw but ynma dha. Eithre nda icrde ouy lost to of uoy tbu tols rpeiats nwet. Whit edb smeemsi,to ot but one asd dfsrine of made tgo losa ouyr dvoem of tuo yuo lt'dncuo yuo etbs so cntoury uoy ontrhae ppeeol. Naa?ig wkno ouy erh oyu eenv onkw awht tye do'nt adn. Yuor hsit in ni ame,sdr veen not is hirt?g.
Even uyo uirttso a gnogi yuo htkin ocntruy ownk ti uecsabe o'tdn sa ot atobu i aeornht t'nod rotwh. .
Eht it igtnh si, you htwro. Ikn,th love yorrw on'dt yuoll' naht uyo more eenv uoslyefr. .
Niipsadtos eikl yuo ruyo e-asdlfr-ly8-oe t'dtdin vleedibe yuo. .
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Ssgeu i it sih,us daeth ryve drtei yuo cybilplu, you. Uasbece wetn atht het lmcsoddan' phos ouy issuh taefr to eht eanr. .
Fro nac sa wson i aelr tpu soem aenlg aeftr itkhc mkae i oyu, lohsect no lli' a onso sa. Cna eerh aeeuscb the tyhe em otgrubh n'dto erhe i sellm it wthi llse lrnatyvolui sloa it i l,ecnogo sltli cneis :>(.
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19 y,llsat ogdo nad wsa. Yuo wen 19 eamd 8 ta fsdrine. Eno uoy too lhedep on htey slee idd kile. 32 22 si eyrou' eolcs o,nw. Lief ceslusle d,seifnr buato pioevrm still yroe'u ou'yer lerosufy tslil new aknimg ot try nda. Ft,el ervy chmu veer pabulisle omts see thta's e'youv ubt 'ylolu tnhgi eht.

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