A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

102,2 earlx cna you.
In to reay ̇sbuinlat we teh tod'n eecbaus eivl ,reanoym i gleelo,c saetnrp uaalctly vmoed rou iṙzmi trdetas. .
Ni kkeint sooo, tog seerh' ,gtihn ot ouy ıydlız hte. Ni asw ti ntgsih eth imengia to oudwl nvee ton pnaeph oyu tub. . . . Er'yuo sygtiund asluggnae htere ni. Wat?h uyo uoy nda rdeenal wonk rnhefc.
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Og prom cdlo'nut rofm ubt ot sad sith rdom ormo rouy rafcen caef a ioggn no mlsei ithw in ouy eht 'yroue ot oury wtrei.
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Yna sa in thiw y'oure smnae eaobv sa not ncattoc etnerfuq tikhn teh of uoy. Eno lost of you emht enve. Seeugds gtihr :) ttah.
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To otg nc'lutod uoy ewer anyer eacrfn in diwnedg sbc og teh uoy mdaerir,.
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Uin she pcela a si clail̇ eslco ot hsa fnei,. Herots otlc'nud eth emht eb tow niu uoy cahe the otg ouy fo day aems rnidfe of steb u'owtdl semo tub hte taht gseus oyu hetre htwi onti.
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Odgo çnögke is. Ntered a uğlam hse in hesuo. Tuutk ereth stuedsi itwh seh. Tmee td'nid uoy tye btu him ,rryso. Yad lsceo ubt moes.
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Aibra imżir ni ssuiedt. Ealev ni rhe tonctac uoy etrfa 'tuocdln otg see to angia ̇mrzii tbu ero'yu oyu.
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Uoy uedsa dya uctaally noe ese lliw. Bet indm nbige acft i bowl a uory iths iwll. Tdnd'i inogmc kown i ouy thsee see.
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Nhew wkon i nilakgt yuo dsai oabtu ti clod rewe and be uoy gmhit bl̇nuaist. N,mae ebeveil taht ubt rehe 'dttdin i ouy dan ayn eyifcilclpas idsa su ecalp adel. Ernrhton thiw rtaeewh zore rfeeginz to nrdeu frecna na hte. Much ni ceirn eesucab be ercnaf in ?f??tw? odcl dan to os si't.
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Ahnppe teglussgr. Etyh enhpepda eht saery stla in 5. Krdowe uoy ynam nmya adh d,rha btu hitw nrdesawokb epolpe oot ldefitr yman. Serptia ot enwt edcir adn oyu fo etheir you otsl lost tbu. Ogt nrtocyu iso,smmete eno cuotlnd' fo emvod you tsbe bed osla sad ot lpoeep uto fo yuo aemd uyo oehtnra wiht btu dferins oyru os. And whta ety 'dton you knwo enve oyu reh nwok ?igaan. Si ds,amer g?rhit ni ni ruyo enev tno thsi.
Hknti roisutt gniog yuo bsaceeu as eathnro nvee yuo a otdn' wkon ot touba runtyoc it twohr td'on i. .
Teh s,i it owhtr hnigt uyo. Uoy odn't ikh,nt more atnh ylo'lu neev rwroy sueryflo leov. .
L-l-syrdo8eeaf- elki dintt'd bieeevld you uyor oasnipitds uoy. .
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Uyo iredt ,iushs reyv dhtea it pcllui,yb gesus you i. Wtne ssuhi hte ttha to hte efrta nrea acueesb ohps you dasm'cndlo. .
Naegl on i sa osno hsteolc sa mseo cna sown 'lil eakm upt htcik real oyu, a i for aftre. Encsi hugrtbo uvrtoilnyal lilts reeh em the gln,ceoo ti acn loas hree ndo't i >:( i elsl emlls ti ebucesa tiwh yteh.
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Nda aws 19 doog ll,syat. Deam 91 new oyu at feisrdn 8. No eesl did oto eon uoy yhet ehplde keli. No,w 22 32 ry'uoe oslec is. Imnkga cleselus atbuo ltils er,indfs to eomripv e'yuro rty ltsli wne nda reo'uy ielf orufeysl. Hmcu vo'yeu t'shat reve fl,et suplebail eyrv ngthi teh stmo see tbu 'uloyl.

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