A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

,1022 xlrae ouy acn.
,nrmeyao tno'd egecol,l ni uyaltalc ew oru enartsp vlei eth to biṫlnusa srtadet medov yaer ii̇mrz aecbeus i. .
Oyu o,oso ıylızd teh to otg sehre' in ,hgtni tkenki. Shtngi otn swa you tbu ulodw ahenpp iinegma ot in eht ti enev. . . . Eetrh guisytnd in ggaanelsu 'oyeur. Lenedar oyu nwko you dan ecfnrh ?wtha.
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Iselm cfae on oryu isht mpro cnto'udl the a ofrm go oyu to gngoi retwi sad oomr to fcanre hiwt ni mrod ruoy but yoreu'.
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Senam eufqertn as thwi atccnot of oaebv ont sa ni eht hkitn rye'ou any uyo. Yuo of solt eon vene meht. :) ritgh segdeus htta.
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Og otg eth crnfae in oyu to luotcdn' erwe scb enray ouy ra,mdrei ewdgidn.
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She to epcal elocs sah a lċail ,efni iun is. Lodt'unc mthe gto inu uyo of ebts teh ntoi fo tub easm twih rohtse wto eehrt hatt yda sguse each yuo eht msoe be 'utlwdo the uyo ifnder.
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Good is çngeök. In enetdr a uğmal hseuo ehs. Ihwt tktuu istsdue rhete hes. Ety eemt mih ubt yuo tidd'n oryrs,. Ubt csole yda some.
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Araib in imirż eudssti. Ogt oyu ese o'ryue reh eleva btu miżir in ouy angai ot frate tcntcao ludoctn'.
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Wlli euasd yad oen ees uyo uylaalct. Nebgi hsti ndim lwli royu a i tfac wlbo etb. Iognmc etesh dtn'id i you ese konw.
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Eb buasliṅt i ouy wkon wneh migth said ouy adn ubota ti cldo were atlgnik. Laed ipflclsecayi ereh and utb i thta dtdint' nea,m adis acepl ouy eiblvee ayn su. Nrdue na orez ntenrhro hte fzginree hwit reanfc eharetw ot. Be hcum cdol subacee ni ot nda w?t?f?? rnecfa nreic 'sti so ni.
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Ggssurtel peahpn. Padphnee alst teh ni 5 reysa htye. Mayn uyo tub elppeo owbdraenks ymna oot ardh, kwreod ftrleid thwi ahd naym. Ecrdi tbu ouy nwet tairpse to of solt rtieeh oslt adn uyo. Uot dnltouc' to movde bde setb nhratoe lepope hwti fo so neo you yuo ruyctno but yruo deam fo uyo s,eitmomse salo dsrnfie ads tgo. Nwko ian?ga uoy hre veen and d'ton thaw onwk yet you. Hsti tno even uryo ni ?hgtir semdr,a ni is.
Dnto' atreohn i uyo wnok sa a uotab sceaebu iknht ti to rtowh utitrso enev dnt'o you inogg nyutrco. .
You hte ti si, whotr hgtin. Ntha eenv ntdo' oylul' oyu ovle rome orryw t,hink elyusorf. .
Oruy leik bleveeid sitsndopia y-e-ll8saedo-rf oyu you ndit'dt. .
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Irdte vyre i ugses hedat ti ouy oyu ,sshiu ybclu,pli. Eht nera ebuaecs ntwe to ohps atth c'mdanosld sihsu oyu eatrf eht. .
Eral utp no nsoo glane a y,ou freta chteols sa meka can for wson osme ll'i i ckith i sa. Uesbace gbhotur on'td ti can eiscn teh lslem i ehre ethy twhi oc,onegl i lstil ti lturlyaoinv rehe >(: aosl slel em.
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Stally, ogdo adn 19 swa. Ewn 8 ifrensd at aedm 19 uoy. Yhte eon eesl yuo on ikel did too dlehpe. Si 23 cleso r'uoey 22 o,nw. Yrt nwe roey'u tlils fylurseo mrvopie ngkmia ot and baotu eullsecs illst sfdni,re ueyor' flei. 'uovye ilepblasu h'tsat ,lfte 'lylou het rvee ryve tmos ees ubt humc tnhgi.

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