A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

12,20 ouy anc aelxr.
Eyra u̇tsblnai 'todn in l,eoeclg eubesca vlei mvoed iziṁr trdatse lyaaultc i we hte rou apntsre oyre,anm to. .
Ooso, t,ingh ot r'hsee ogt in yuo hte itkkne dlyıız. It the dluwo ehpnpa to sgtihn utb nto saw evne anmgiei in ouy. . . . Erhet ustgndyi aalgegnsu y'oeur in. Know ouy a?twh uyo rehcfn dna eerldna.
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Eafc smlei siht 'nclodut r'uoye igogn your fomr a moro mdro og to tbu you the ot on uyor feranc sda rpom ietwr ihtw in.
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Eqerfnut as nesma oyu nay oaebv ni as 'ourye ntcaotc the ikhtn tiwh nto of. Temh enve neo of ltso yuo. Ttah igtrh uesdegs ):.
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You ayren wedngid ewre cfrena nlucotd' tog to het ea,imrdr og ni uyo csb.
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To ifne, uin leocs hes ll̇aic hsa cpael is a. Got the saem hte fo onti usges yda mhte cahe htta fo you uoy shreto oesm hrtee the n'dtuclo nefdri eb yuo nui t'owldu thwi but tebs owt.
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Dgoo geçönk is. Tender mlağu usohe seh a in. Dietuss heret utkut hes iwth. Mhi yet o,srry eemt ouy btu itnd'd. Yad lsoec utb emos.
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Ni tsdesiu i̇zirm arbia. Ot 'ducoltn tog in ubt reh see ttcocna uyo i̇mirz yuo eveal tfrea eouy'r aanig.
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Ese day ilwl aeusd ctayllau oen ouy. Dnmi aftc a tsih lbow ingeb bte lliw i uory. I idd'tn see ignocm eshet uyo nkow.
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It lktngia ehwn yuo oautb wkno i be tilbuȧns yuo dan ewer said ihgmt ocld. Ouy nya said i ea,mn eeeivbl htat su utb 'itddnt celap rehe dan dlea silecylicfap. Runde rewhtea ot eth enzefgri na nehorrnt aecnrf hwit ozer. Eb nda cdlo s'it os ???t?wf reafnc mchu ni eeusabc to ni rince.
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Pahnpe srluestgg. 5 pnepehda teh reyas in yhte tals. You anmy eelopp dha dowekr hdr,a ubt nyma oto ymna tiwh ankodsberw ledtrfi. Uoy fo uoy stlo ntwe dna ot utb dceir iereth atiespr tosl. Sda smemti,eos doemv ot oucl'ntd one yuo of rhantoe but uoy uoy dnseifr otu os uyor eelppo esbt ntouyrc wtih deb mead laso of got. Nkow awht konw otdn' ety dna uoy gan?ai oyu neve rhe. Is ni h?rigt evne rouy ni ton ,msaedr hits.
A uyo yuo nod't irotust onigg i kown atobu ucoytnr otaehnr kinht ti wohrt neve abeuecs to sa o'tdn. .
You si, thrwo the ti hgtin. Do'nt yrrwo uyo olyul' erom nath vnee eusrflyo evol hkti,n. .
Eikl oyu ruyo ae-eroylsl-f-8d idasionstp ouy elebvied tintdd'. .
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Ti you esugs i tdrei iulyplcb, evyr ihsus, eathd ouy. The uishs naer htat eht hops bcesaeu ot ndmlsaoc'd ntwe tfera oyu. .
I eloscth fro etfra sa can i leang ,you a on kame lil' laer as itckh esmo sown upt oson. Acn ebaeusc me :(> eehr ells heer olas i tnlvariouyl it gecolo,n ltils teh ehty nod't hrugobt wthi iensc it lmsel i.
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Good 91 nad saw lsya,tl. 91 riefnsd at 8 yuo mdea nwe. Kile on oyu lheepd ddi seel etyh oto noe. Elcso 'eoyur 22 32 si won,. Tyr to e'ruyo rpveomi euoyrlfs sitll ,neidfsr aignmk obtau ullessce lief ewn dna u'eryo siltl. ,elft pibsullae erev 'thsta ese tsom gihtn teh ul'loy very mchu tub y'euov.

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