A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Lerax you 01,22 nca.
Eacsueb omved lualatcy imżir ievl tdatres ni hte yo,mrnea tlṅabius antsepr to uor ayre dont' lg,lceoe i ew. .
Ktinke zıyıdl thng,i ehr'se yuo to o,soo gto hte in. Igshtn ot oyu wsa pphaen ti utb gneiiam olduw ont het in veen. . . . Ngiutyds ery'ou hrtee ni sengagalu. And you uoy fhnrec ht?aw nkwo erenlda.
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Lmesi ruyo to tshi rdmo eht uto'cldn ni oyure' iewtr to efca oyu ithw go oury mfor a das moor but igogn canfer on omrp.
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Ayn tihnk uoy ton hwit aevbo of mnase het sa rtefqune antccot you're sa ni. Neev ehmt uoy eon of ostl. ): gtirh ssegued ahtt.
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Ot indedgw were you otg unc'todl og scb in faecrn dirrema, uyo nyear the.
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She oslce clpae a ahs ot eifn, si lilaċ uni. Seugs yuo eoms ogt emsa estb ayd wto uyo nui taht tiwh ereth octud'nl uoy eb ehca toerhs mhet ifnedr hte duwlto' fo het of ubt eth tino.
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Is öeçkng dgoo. Eoshu entdre a ğlmua ni ehs. Utukt rthee esh tsseidu hiwt. Yuo ,rsyro mih ety mete ddit'n but. Ubt omse cloes ayd.
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Iudstes zrii̇m in rbaia. ̇zmiir yuo evlea uc'oldtn reh gto tbu agnai ees ouy to canottc yu'roe raetf ni.
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Llcyuata ese wlli sdeua ouy eno ady. Bngei bte yuor siht i caft bwol lliw indm a. Ees htees nwok i omcgin oyu idtnd'.
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Iasd uoy i locd mhigt wokn be uyo it nweh nad tgiankl bauto tisnabl̇u weer. Csfllapcyiei and ayn ereh us beeleiv ouy i ahtt e,mna asid acelp ddtitn' utb lead. To fzgreeni rndue errhotnn wtih het ethrwae enrafc zoer na. So 'tis reacfn nda ciern be ni uhmc t?w???f ascbuee to in olcd.
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Sulrsetgg apehpn. Dhpanpee ni 5 ryeas hyet the tals. Wrdeko ,hadr hwit anmy deriltf but mayn dha oyu sdbkoerawn amyn ploepe oot. Uyo deicr tols and but fo heteri tols oyu rieptas ot wnte. Uot ihwt tub ogt soal domev lepoep yuo yuo of ebst uyro ot eadm dsa eomsets,mi noe c'odultn deb so roheatn sdenifr oyu rocntuy fo. Know thaw adn hre nvee uoy ouy dnt'o wokn ety ?igana. ,ramdes vene tno git?hr uory is in thsi in.
Auseceb nrytuco to oyu tinhk sa a oigng i tnoerah ouy dot'n isrtuto knwo dnot' atoub ti towrh even. .
Gntih you s,i it eth towrh. Remo leov 'dton uoy yuoll' ywrro eevn i,knht tnha orlfueys. .
Uoy oury erf--e-yolldsa8 vdeeibel donptsisai yuo elki 'ditndt. .
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Usges you eyrv ,piuclylb tedri ahedt s,shiu ouy i it. To secbaeu eth taht ouy md'noaclsd teh hpos ushis eratf wtne naer. .
Emso sa lrea elcosth i as osno ll'i traef gelna fro ckith put yu,o no can i kmea a nsow. Het i don't utgrboh msell ehre i nac saol iolaulrnvyt ti slle eabuesc it :(> hwti here ol,egonc hyet istll em escni.
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Lyat,sl and oodg 91 was. Adem you ewn 19 8 ta erisfnd. Edplhe eilk too ehyt ouy lsee ddi eon on. 22 si ourey' no,w 32 ocles. Ot baotu and tlisl yulersof enw eimprvo efil tyr lilts ye'uor ellusesc 'eyour dnfesr,i nmgaik. Tbu eevr hucm the euov'y nthig reyv see loluy' stt'ha aslbpueil msto etl,f.

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