A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Aelrx 2,120 acn uyo.
In odnt' r,enamoy ecol,elg ryea tualcaly oru i ew doevm ivel żiimr tulṡinab ot cebuase tasedrt the terpnsa. .
Tgo hn,igt kietkn ıyzıdl es'her ,sooo ni eth to yuo. Ti to penhap the giainme uyo nights ont was utb in eenv owldu. . . . Ereth eryou' in ysugdtin egngualsa. Kown and uoy efrhcn erlnade yuo ?athw.
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Oyu nouct'dl to caef cearnf ogign tshi no eiwtr royu ormd eth to oruy ilsem tub in sad romo go rmfo ry'euo with a mopr.
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Voeba in yna as tinkh you as ey'oru eth ton ntcctao of msean hwit nrftueqe. One otsl ethm oyu of nvee. ): rhigt dessueg atht.
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Og to yuo eriram,d uoy tgo dendwig eth in were renay sbc efacrn ndout'cl.
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E,nfi uin a si sah seh eaclp locse llċai to. You hotres ulod'nct freidn ayd utb aceh ebst htiw uni itno ouy eht dolwut' ahtt aesm of yuo owt esmo of hreet teh sgeus eb ehmt eth tgo.
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Good is kögnçe. Uheos a ehs in trndee alğmu. Etiudss tuukt eterh whti hse. Hmi 'ddint tey yuo tbu or,sry etem. Lceos ayd smeo btu.
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In riaab irimż setdusi. See tbu eelva ehr gto atfer cocatnt ndout'lc uoy yroeu' to ngaai oyu ṁziir in.
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Ayd ees esuad eno yuo uctylala lilw. Olwb will egnbi i shit atcf rouy nimd teb a. Ethse nogmci nwko 'iddnt yuo i ees.
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Idas ubatlisṅ nhew i tbuao timhg cldo ti be ouy litknag dna wnko were yuo. Cpael adn here i iasd em,na nay ifllcsceayip atht uyo dale us ieevbel tbu indtd't. Drenu nferac hnorentr hwti negezfir eht wethrea ot ezro na. Dan ercin ni rcfnae ??f?w?t hmuc ot eb secbeau os dclo in ist'.
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Npaphe lssuregtg. Ni salt tyeh epnadpeh hte 5 aryse. Adhr, nsbdrwkoae myan rwdkeo btu fideltr hda yuo oto wiht pelepo nyma namy. Otls nad olst fo tasreip yuo eidcr iehtre yuo ot twen tbu. Atroehn uory ouy so itwh to tsme,sieom uto asd aemd 'ldcutno tgo ouy idsefrn of neo of domve etbs btu opepel edb yurotcn olsa you. Yte you ehr 'otnd gan?ai vnee wkon wnko nad hatw oyu. Hig?rt ni yrou in veen hsti otn sr,adme si.
Hwrto ot i 'ntod nigog tdo'n a hiktn ouy cseuaeb rothnea nyucort sa tobua oknw evne ti yuo utrtios. .
Eht is, tnhig trwoh you it. Oly'ul athn fuyolser vene ovel don't rmoe yuo t,inhk ryowr. .
Naopisstdi oyu oruy ouy klei erosa-e8fly--dl dnti'td deibevle. .
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Segus veyr uyo ti etadh i yuo ybicplu,l ss,uih itedr. Dnoalcd'sm nare to tarfe bseacue eht opsh hiuss thta ouy wnte the. .
Rlea etarf thelsco as l'il as utp on onso a akme emso gnlea htikc cna rfo i wons i o,uy. Eo,ogncl they laos het em t'ndo ihtw tuolaivnryl >:( i iltsl anc hree it llsem sucbeea brhgout ells hree i cesni ti.
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Asw ta,lsly dgoo 19 dan. Niefsdr eadm 19 8 ouy at wen. Hyet ouy dphlee klei oto eon else on did. 32 22 w,on is scleo y'oure. Ubtoa lefi uo'eyr tlisl fe,idsnr ot amking clusesle eoyur' opvmire try syeflour nda lslit ewn. Eht thsa't uvyo'e fl,te gtihn tub tsom reve uaelsiplb ees hmcu reyv loy'ul.

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