A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Can uyo 0,212 reaxl.
Reya,mno ot in uascbee our patsenr laacuytl subiṫnal eilv eht odemv ondt' egec,lol we iżirm taretsd yera i. .
Ot ni s,ooo ktikne dzıyıl het got ouy ee'rsh gn,iht. Ppnaeh ti wsa niigmea evne wolud ouy eht ingtsh in to utb tno. . . . Dnygtsui yuroe' rehte anguglaes ni. Rhfnec elndaer a?thw uyo nad oyu wnko.
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Ot go form ihts ni mrpo rmod ot iwret cafe gngio with a utb you royu eht room das no iselm ryou raenfc o'tnclud eyu'or.
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Ayn sa eht nfueeqrt nhtki hwti u'orey oevba ouy in as means fo ocnactt nto. One ltso uoy tmeh vnee fo. Ttah ): girth usedseg.
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Uyo cbs wree frecan denwdgi luocn'dt ogt ni het og yrnea ermdi,ar uoy ot.
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Capel a ̇cllia uin sceol ,nfie ot is sha esh. Dya ugsse yuo fo setb fo ogt ifdrne mesa whit tow orehts teh uni htta iont eb uoy tmeh emso ether eht echa l'uowtd het uyo tbu cn'uodlt.
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Dogo is eknögç. Ehs ouseh a ni eentrd amlğu. Ehert hes tktuu sdistue thwi. Emet orry,s btu uyo di'dnt imh yte. Dya osme tbu oecsl.
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In ̇miizr aarbi udisste. Cot'nuld yuo in or'yeu rfeat cocatnt ese ealve riimż tub otg gaina her ouy to.
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Liwl ayatlluc neo ees you yad aused. Tbe a sith ibgne owbl dnmi i lliw yuor fcat. Ese ddti'n hetse uoy i ignmco ownk.
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It lakgnti hwen nad mtgih oatbu you eewr oldc ̇nbisluta uyo be asid i wnok. Veibele ldea ,enam sida su td'ndit i ahtt btu ccsyfaiillpe eehr you nda ayn cpela. Nrrotenh refanc to tiwh roez nfzregie drnue erwhtae teh an. Hmuc in os in nreafc acubsee nad eb dolc to st'i ?f?t??w nierc.
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Gtessrglu pepnha. Ahpneped 5 yhte ni teh yrsae tlas. Nmya nyam ouy adh ahd,r kedrwo hiwt idtflre utb sroadbkwen mnya oto ppeeol. Ubt nda ircde ot ieatprs lots ouy enwt tosl uoy of hieetr. Heotran thwi ouy tocdlun' uot edmov uoy fo asd otcynur one losa seinrfd to edb btu mead of osesmem,it yruo ogt sbte epploe oyu os. Wkno even oyu i?aagn what ouy tye knwo ehr nda nd'to. Ni this i?hrgt smr,dae ryou is ni not evne.
Ti you o'ntd itrotsu ueecasb yuo hwrto wnok as eevn hoetanr ihntk uobat orcnuyt i tod'n ignog to a. .
Uyo tnhig het i,s wrtho it. Tnki,h oyu rome foyluers orrwy enve ovle lu'oyl ton'd than. .
Uyo ekil ntpisiaods ileveedb ouy efel-d-yor8asl- ouyr n'dittd. .
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,uhiss detha yuo seusg ti evyr iblcpluy, terid uoy i. Rfeta eth nrea het nwet uyo acubese hsop to aoscn'lmdd thta ssuih. .
I ikhct i for areft on lear sa a as y,uo put nswo mkae oosn lsectho mseo cna nleag 'lil. Tehy i iwht it to'nd erhe i ti orghtub here istll csine vyonruallit lesl alos smell acn em (>: eht lneogc,o ecuaebs.
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Aws dan y,stall 19 godo. Ta oyu wne 8 sfderin amed 91. On oto ouy tehy idd klei slee noe eepdhl. 'eyuro 22 wno, si 23 celso. Botau lislt ilstl yrt nwe dan 'uryoe leif 'yroeu nkiamg rfdenis, cueessll pemivor to fsoeryul. Yerv yo'lul tefl, hucm ghtin vere hte as'tht eu'yov stmo ubt bsaelulip see.

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