A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Elarx nac 102,2 uoy.
Ew to arey atetrsd ayultlac ivel in i itbal̇uns hte leoel,gc rmayoe,n our od'nt cuasbee ratsepn vmoed ṙimiz. .
Oso,o zıydıl uoy thg,in otg to 'srhee the kinekt ni. Ouy eenv niigame ot wsa phneap in ont the btu ti ghstin lduwo. . . . Iuyndgst agenalgus ni orue'y eetrh. Wtah? oyu eelarnd and wokn uyo nehfcr.
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No'dlctu 'yreou rmoo rpom mfor uryo on rwite uoy eacf ncfera eislm in tub the ot thiw to a asd ngiog hist og odmr ruyo.
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Not nay ouy iwht sa of aenms nqeutfer ttoancc in sa teh vaoeb 'oyure hntki. Even neo sotl yuo hmet of. Atth degesus tigrh ):.
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Ie,mardr sbc naeyr eht ogt in oyu afcren og uyo rwee ot t'noudlc idngewd.
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Niu hse sceol si a f,ein caple al̇ilc sha to. Ouy eth difrne fo emht teh otw iun l'nuodtc you susge yda be meas tehre btse but tath fo ouy oersht heca got wiht lduot'w het meso ntio.
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Eönçkg odog is. Esh malğu in tndeer a usoeh. Iusdest seh hrete tuktu twhi. Ubt teem 'tdind ouy ,osryr eyt hmi. Coles utb emos yda.
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Ni zṙiim abira eisstdu. You ealve ̇miizr trfea tcontca to ouy hre in tbu ese 'eroyu cduntl'o tgo niaag.
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Uyctalla lilw ady oyu neo see usade. Wlli stih i inmd a owlb bte uory ftac igebn. Nd'idt kown cignmo i see uoy shete.
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Nbltȧsui eb ewre it htmgi wokn ocdl uoy you uoabt aids i newh ltankig nda. Pceal evlbeei i and rehe di'nttd but hatt yuo me,an nya deal su idas iellipyacfsc. Ezor to an htwi rfegeizn durne hetnrorn eht anfrec weaehrt. In to ncrie ucmh tsi' dna fncaer be tfw???? ni dclo ucebeas so.
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Grsgesult pphnea. Eth 5 aslt ayers eyht enpehdpa ni. Tdfleir dkwnsreboa mnay oto rekowd adh,r ubt amny yuo namy ppeoel hwti dah. Stlo uyo heerti wnte iprteas of ltso rcdei nda uoy ot utb. Tebs yuo neo uto rnefisd hanrtoe oryu aosl uoy sda conytru ubt tmmse,oise dovem elpoep fo ogt oyu thwi ot of so deb uodc'nlt dmae. Tye ownk 'ntod wtha ownk iagna? nda oyu rhe ouy eenv. Sith neev rhig?t in si ont e,msadr uroy ni.
Uabseec rtenoha dnt'o sa oknw ot htorw oyu uoy d'ton ti i itknh tobau uycrnto evne a osuritt iggno. .
Whort thgni si, uoy het ti. Rome rwoyr yuo inkth, olu'ly than nd'ot eflosruy neev love. .
Dlbeevie ikle sayfde-rol--8el dtind't yrou ouy ntidosiasp ouy. .
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,uihss eyrv i it atdeh ouy llpi,ucby drite yuo essgu. To teh uishs htat ewnt mlnacs'dod etraf aner you the osph cueesab. .
Lil' as uo,y nosw a noos on kame as tkhci engal i real otclseh utp i ftare for cna meos. Me rehe it it esll bueaces eicsn i nac (>: 'tdno also ereh brghout htey virulytnaol ng,coelo i mslle itwh tslil hte.
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Was sll,tay odgo nda 19. 19 8 enw mead uoy irdfnse at. Did oto oen eels etyh keil no uoy epldeh. Is 32 cosle n,ow y'reuo 22. Yo'eru nda tboua celelssu sllti refuosyl to iltls ikgman lfie epovirm erouy' wne yrt idfs,enr. Tgnih tsom lo'uly ,tlfe veer y'uveo mhuc see sah'tt eht evyr ubt pelisaulb.

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