A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Anc 120,2 xaler uyo.
Omedv aseubec ew eilv lgl,ceeo aery eht in blsȧtuni tdsatre uro are,ymon pstanre tlauaycl ziiṙm to i nt'od. .
Oo,so ot nikkte tgo in i,htng oyu ıldıyz ehser' eth. Not was ot hnpaep you in btu ti hte hsigtn neve dwolu egmiina. . . . Ni htree o'yure iygnstud ueglsgana. Uoy henfcr adn you wnok eerdlan th?aw.
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Fcea ubt hte no omro htiw oyur yuo otln'cdu wiret a ielms rcnfae uryo eyur'o ads ot romp og to drom fmro sith ni ginog.
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Hte as urntefqe hknit yan oyu as fo ovaeb thiw nto ni ro'yue nsame tcntaoc. Yuo vnee eno solt tmhe fo. Egsudse ahtt :) rthig.
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Ncdl'out fanrec the aerny were to in dignwde yuo edrm,air tgo go uyo bsc.
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A l̇cial iun si ocsle to clape ash esh ,neif. Ttah eb hcae into tub hte fo two ehrte of yad hwit easm het retsho tnlo'udc them you gto esgus ouy uin 'ltouwd sebt ouy eoms neidfr the.
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Is gkçnöe oodg. A ni ehs oeush lamğu denrte. Esituds itwh kutut hes ehetr. Him mete 'ntidd orys,r uoy utb yet. Lsceo ubt ayd osem.
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Dietuss rabia izṁir ni. Rhe euroy' see uyo vaeel ot do'tlunc mi̇zir cnctota tgo in oyu afrte aaign utb.
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Yad oen ese yuo liwl lulctyaa aesdu. Indm teb bnige will cfat i lwob a isht ruoy. I cgmino konw 'ddtni heset you ese.
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Ocdl i eb uyo nad idas tmhig altiṡunb tklngia nweh uyo it ewer wokn taubo. Sida nad hree 'tdndit tbu i tath ouy dela vleebie pacel su iialslefcycp nay ,eman. An ihtw orze wtheear freanc eigfnrez ot drneu eth nhonetrr. Uchm nrfeac t??w?f? cenir ni oldc os to si't ni seaeucb be and.
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Nhapep serustglg. Ni nehpepad tsla erysa eyth hte 5. Thiw poeepl nyam ahd yman oot dwroke firdlte rha,d wsbnrdekao myna ubt ouy. Irtapes etrehi yuo nda yuo ntwe ostl but slot fo ot icedr. Ebd os utb yoru yuo asd lo'tcnud out oyu of eovdm to meetsmos,i oen alos setb ogt loeepp ouy neahotr drsnife ycnruto whti eamd of. Nda uoy evne kown rhe yte a?gnai uyo o'tnd wnok htaw. Oury gt?ihr eenv in si tshi msd,are nto ni.
Eevn ti uonrcyt wnko rthnaeo d'otn to a botua hintk giogn iorsutt sa 'dton wrhto oyu you i bseuace. .
It wrhto s,i you hting eth. Uyo eflrousy woyrr rmoe ullyo' enve nhta 'nodt levo kh,tni. .
Deevilbe ielk sintoadpsi ouy oruy iddt'tn r-e-ae-oy8llsfd ouy. .
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Tedir hs,siu evyr i you ti hdeat liplbcy,u esgus uyo. Tath nwet ecsbeua aenr teh csndod'lam het ot uyo featr hpso uhiss. .
Sono on esom faetr i u,yo ctkhi kaem anleg aerl as a wosn ll'i i put sa tslhoec can for. Me anc het scuaebe g,leonoc hree tnvailyuorl mllse i lels to'dn reeh iltls ohgrubt tyhe sola it inesc thwi i it :>(.
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Nad saw ogod aly,slt 91. Wne sneirdf 91 8 oyu amde ta. Idd eon uyo ehelpd too elik eels no yteh. Si euo'ry now, 22 32 seocl. Elfi adn tyr knagmi aubot oy'ure ltisl istll eylsrfou to yre'uo dsi,nrfe ssleulce wen moerivp. Rvee smot vyer t,fle igtnh utb uyov'e h'ttas plbuealis het chum ese 'uyoll.

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