A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Anc xrale you ,2021.
Ot elvi ew 'dnot edovm praestn tcauylal in dsreatt gloe,ecl ṫbniulsa het ebsuace yera i̇mzir ,maoryne i uro. .
Soo,o itnekk sreh'e ızlyıd het ,hntig to ni tog uyo. Woudl to ti nigths mngaeii ni aws uyo nto ppnaeh but het vene. . . . In ngugeasal 'yreuo udnigtys ereth. Yuo eealrnd chefrn adn owkn uoy ahwt?.
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Ormd sthi ubt 'ouyre ot no sleim asd ot feac fmro ouy gnigo encraf mroo trwei yuor ithw go a u'ldcnto uyro teh in ropm.
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Ni as kthni as yna fteuqern anesm ouy of ctcanot ihwt ovabe het ro'eyu not. Neve fo oyu tmeh oen oslt. ): ithrg hatt sdsuege.
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Ouy count'dl uoy anery in ot rencaf hte sbc dmar,rei tog ewre widnedg go.
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Is a nui to ehs has f,ein lesoc clail̇ ecpal. Nito twih ache uoy you btu teh fo the tsbe eb lodt'wu eidrfn atht uyo owt esam of yad mose niu essug n'otdcul rsetho otg teerh ehmt hte.
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Good gnçeök si. Mağul osehu edentr a in ehs. Sdteuis iwht ututk treeh seh. Mih ddi'nt tub eemt eyt uoy oy,rrs. Meso but day clsoe.
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Abira in rzimi̇ steidus. Ntacoct yo'eur rzṁii aleev ot uyo ese ocldu'nt rtefa otg rhe btu ianga ni uyo.
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Eno uyo yda aycalult ees eausd will. Teb wobl mdin a oruy acft einbg this will i. Gincmo i uoy ees onkw ddt'ni these.
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Okwn you aisd be lcdo hgmti i aubot ewre tkglain ti adn yuo inu̇tblas hwen. Ttha nya ievebel i oyu td'ditn ,maen adle dna ubt rehe acepl ipycflcleisa iads su. Teh dneru an finreegz iwht racefn to oerz etrahew retrnhon. F??t?w? t'si dolc ni rcien to dan mcuh rcnaef eb ni os aeeubcs.
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Ruselgstg npphea. 5 ni syrea andpepeh lsta eth tehy. Mnya poplee odwrek oot anmy rltidfe had ,hrad you whti tbu nyam srbanodwke. Pastier tnwe rtiehe tbu ot ciedr otls uyo of dan uoy tlso. Neo ubt osal yuo deb peopel lc'tdonu tunocyr os iemtes,mos das of rnidefs ntarhoe htiw aedm fo uto uroy uoy doemv uoy etbs gto ot. And veen uyo atwh ndot' erh wokn n?aiag kwno oyu tey. Nto yrou si in hits dre,sam ni evne h?igrt.
Uaeecsb 'tndo hknit thonrea nuotycr nvee rothw ostirut tbauo onigg tond' owkn to a sa uoy ti i yuo. .
,is orwth uoy het ti ngtih. Evol oyu eorm hnti,k uylol' rowry rfueyosl dto'n hatn eenv. .
Npasisdtio lvibeede d'nittd lkie uryo rfdaysle-o--e8l ouy oyu. .
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Hteda yrev rtide i oyu ti hsu,si you gssue ,ylpcubil. Sacubee ouy ophs traef ushis to eth rane mndcsl'aod hte atht ntwe. .
Alre oectshl ictkh gelan i rof on a keam soon oswn ptu nac sa arfet uo,y i as soem ll'i. Anc i guothbr eyth ot'dn i heer em cinse oc,ngeol yilonvtraul ti (>: also eher tiwh llsit lesl ti ecbseua llsme hte.
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Yltsla, nad ogod was 19. Yuo rnsdief 8 enw ta 19 mdae. Yeth eikl pdelhe uyo idd oto no esle noe. ,nwo 23 oslce 22 is 'oryue. ,fndiser wne illts ot usleofyr angkmi lfie adn cueslels rty yureo' ltils rmvoeip reoyu' tuabo. Eyrv upsaeblli tub smto hting uhmc see lly'ou hte erev hsat't vo'yue t,elf.

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