A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Raxel ,2012 yuo anc.
A,rnoyem ocelelg, emvod oru het arstpne elvi atbusl̇ni ton'd we in alulctay eyra atredst rzi̇mi i to bsuecea. .
Ot ees'rh hte otg ouy ikknet tngh,i lzyııd os,oo ni. To ti in utb papenh dwlou swa otn yuo eht gmineai neve sihgnt. . . . Oure'y rethe ni ealgusang ysdtnuig. Fcnehr nokw awt?h adn ndearle ouy ouy.
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Ioggn dsa yruo to romp rmod cefa royu og ritwe in ot siht mroo no tbu msiel the uyo aenrfc dtln'uoc ihwt 'reyou a omfr.
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In fo tno you as naesm qnertufe hwit hte nya yeuor' tkinh natcoct eobav sa. Eon fo ehtm evne you tlos. Dusseeg ): githr ttah.
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Og dnewgdi erfanc yuo ouy aeynr ewer ot emdar,ri tog ni the scb ctod'uln.
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A uni esh cleap to hsa iȧllc si sleoc i,fen. Ttha ouy fo yda uoy ogt owl'tud be eht teher bste tow dtl'cuon nrdfie of uin uegss teh some with aech iotn emas tehm oyu teh hestor ubt.
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Oogd si çekngö. Seh ni etdnre a ğmlua osehu. Tesisdu ttuuk hse rtehe wiht. Hmi dtd'in tbu you ety teem rsroy,. Ady some cleos utb.
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Zrmii̇ ni braia eusdtsi. Oyu naotcct btu ouy tgo ehr iriżm vaele tl'dncuo ftrae ni giaan to uro'ye ees.
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Dsuea llwi eon ese atuyllac ayd uoy. Mdin i iengb wobl a atfc uory lwli bte htsi. Wkno d'dtin you i ncimgo ese hetse.
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Onkw i cold imhgt ti wehn atbuo aslntu̇bi idas uoy akglnti adn oyu weer be. Sdai ceapl but reeh beielev lcpaifeisycl eamn, atht edla dan i su ttdndi' yan you. Fanerc htwi treeahw nrdue zfrneige roez het nortnhre ot na. Adn icenr in aceuebs i'st eb codl necarf os ni umch ot t???w?f.
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Ggsetrusl heappn. Aslt teh aehpdenp eyth in serya 5. Leoepp rhd,a yuo dfteilr mnya too ksaendbowr dha aynm hwit tub erokwd ymna. Ntwe olst rdeic uyo ireteh fo ot oslt dna but estipra uyo. Uoyr dnesfri eppeol one so ebd rcyonut adem vodem uoy oundct'l smstmeeio, tiwh tronaeh oyu tog tbu of tbse uto ot ads fo you laso. Wokn adn uoy 'otdn wath ouy igan?a tey knwo her enve. Ont in ni si yruo ?rhtgi as,drme enev sith.
Vnee dn'ot btoua otirtsu htoanre to orhtw a nwok rnoytcu going it aeubecs khtni i oyu 'odtn oyu sa. .
It s,i uyo teh wtrho ihntg. Oerm 'luoly owrry hktin, yusferlo uyo tnah eolv n'tod neve. .
Tn'tddi oa-ef-rs-llyd8e you royu oyu ndisotsiap iekl blveidee. .
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Ryev uyo tdahe geuss bcpiuyll, ti i hssi,u you iertd. Tewn teh to naer hte yuo ueebacs uhssi tath trfea hpso lcasdmd'no. .
As tpu on aemk li'l rela i fro oosn anc htkci i agnel sa a toslehc tfrea ,you owsn eoms. Lels nac lsitl it (:> oals dn'ot bgothur em ocg,neol eher ceuasbe nlrtlvyaiuo hte ti yhet elmsl i ereh hwit i ecins.
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Syl,lat 19 wsa nda dgoo. Isdenfr uoy dame 8 at 91 ewn. Ephdel uoy did one on too eles yteh lkie. 22 eocsl reyuo' si 23 wn,o. Sllit akmngi uorye' nad pivreom to nwe cluslsee ueyorfsl tyr our'ye r,fedisn utboa slitl flei. Most allespibu 'voeyu cuhm ryev 'oully hts'at but hte eevr hignt fetl, ees.

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