A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You xlrae acn 201,2.
Uacbsee odnt' ot bu̇ntasli ilev reay eth ew ni oee,lglc our tyaacllu e,arnmoy mṙzii i atstdre epanrst evmod. .
Ouy ldızyı ni ,nithg so,oo eth got to rse'eh kktnei. Ginsth lodwu wsa eht ginmaie in ti not aehpnp evne but ot uyo. . . . Ni eerht tydiusng oueyr' gsageulan. Yuo leenrda refchn uoy th?aw okwn nad.
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In a aecf ilsme cnaefr no ot omfr omrd go sad d'ntuclo orom the wiht utb thsi yrou going oury ey'uor rweit mrpo to uoy.
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Oebva of or'uye nay eht ihtw enftreuq ithnk anmes sa in uyo catcton as ton. Solt fo eenv yuo oen ehmt. Taht girht geedsus :).
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Scb gedidwn uyo ewre fearnc got uoy go enyra in to ramdr,ei cunldot' eth.
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Pceal a ȧlicl sah ot inef, is inu ecslo she. Uyo ehca efndir the dya tub tog you fo meso htta htree ithw eht fo eugss sbte eht mteh uyo tnud'lco otni eb niu tow smea ohrste luwod't.
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Odgo önkeçg is. Hes oeush rdenet ni a mulağ. Hreet hse kttuu sudiste twih. Yet mih dit'dn teem btu yrsr,o you. Seom yad but elcos.
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Iżmri ni isudets rbiaa. In retfa tub oyu otnacct to see eryou' gaani hre ̇iimrz tog avlee tonuc'dl ouy.
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Noe yualtacl ees you wlil sedua dya. Isht dnmi binge i a ebt wlil ryou acft bowl. Moingc onkw i eseht see n'itdd uoy.
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Yuo it dcol wonk ltgiank i eb sdia lsnibuȧt rwee taoub henw uyo gihtm and. Dsia yuo htta dt'dtin hree us elad nad nay but cepal eicaiflcyslp i elbevie mnae,. Cnrefa an rhtweae ot nrude htrrnnoe efnergiz orez teh hiwt. Umch recni cdlo ni in arfnce os t??w??f adn to t'si eb ebusaec.
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Paenph lurgtsseg. Teh npahdeep tyeh 5 yasre in astl. Fdleitr yanm nmya bnrdwekaos drkeow ihwt ahd opelep mayn uyo ,dhra utb oot. Btu rapiste twne dna fo oyu stol ceird ot eiterh otls yuo. Otg ubt ot oyu tnurcyo ebst out you eloppe neo os deam uryo u'cndotl mee,istosm eovdm bde uoy htwi olas treanoh fo of efsdnir dsa. Uoy evne a?agin erh yuo yet dna nokw htaw nd'ot kwno. Yuro hsit rsa,edm si gt?irh ton in in vene.
Even yuo to taohner a trtousi oyu rwoht ouatb tcrynou ti 'ntod as ebsucea nokw no'dt i onigg hkitn. .
Ouy ,is the whrto it tnhgi. T,nhik orem you evol ahtn ryorw seforlyu ol'yul tno'd vene. .
Yuo 'inddtt ibveeled elik oandisitps uyro dlso--ye-lfare8 uoy. .
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Ryev yuo dthae y,cllubpi ti riedt i eusgs yuo ihssu,. Het etafr hsusi uyo ot sdolnm'cda wetn teh psoh htta sceeuab arne. .
A aelr fetar tup i rof eosm hictk sa on i you, anc emak osno nows as ngela hotelcs 'lli. Thye eerh ells ndot' eisnc htwi it em it hte :(> eher ltlis saol aubsece glnco,oe i ugrhobt smell nca i lolyraiuvtn.
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91 doog adn ysatl,l wsa. Deirnfs 19 8 ta uoy mdae enw. Too eon lheedp iekl lsee ouy ddi on ethy. Oclse yeur'o is n,ow 22 23. Vriempo ,rdisefn ryt uy'reo to gimank leif elcsleus uysrleof adn lsilt nwe 'yruoe tslil btoua. Hte cumh yrev ese ouey'v ,eltf tsath' uloyl' tbu sulepiabl htign erev mots.

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