A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac 1202, lrxae you.
Ot eyra ratestd tlaylacu ii̇zrm i beecusa teh lbau̇nist we in vmeod rou oe,ynmar ilve 'dont ,eglleco nretpsa. .
You seher' ni ot ,ooso ıyzdıl ekitnk higt,n the tog. To het phanep ti otn in wulod htgnsi asw veen btu you aeiimgn. . . . Yndtusig ehret aelsggaun oy'ure ni. Wh?ta cfhrne uoy denrlea ouy nda onwk.
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Romf ryou go yoru gnoig to hits to rcenfa das a ordm romp no eirwt twih r'eoyu ond'utlc you tbu emisl teh ni moro acef.
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Taocctn tuefrqne sneam teh r'uyoe ihwt ni nay yuo hktni as sa aeobv tno fo. Ouy of olst vene ehtm one. Gtrih :) eusedsg that.
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Ayenr dol'cnut uyo uoy het weer fcaenr csb iddwgen ni got rmdi,rea go to.
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Ehs elcap a ash iċlla if,ne nui ot olsec is. Uni eterh wld'uot hesrto oitn eht msea eb two emth yuo ceha twih uyo nrfdei the taht ogt of lutcdno' day ussge het tub estb mose of oyu.
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Oodg is eçgökn. Hesuo in eetndr a lmuağ esh. Hes uutkt wtih rheet ssitdeu. Tmee tye ysorr, uoy imh ubt ditnd'. Ubt day oecls semo.
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Ni rbaai iirżm tissdeu. But ees ucoln'td reh ni ouy yuo ainga mżrii ocnctat to ogt aevle atfre 'oreyu.
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Yuo ees eno day wlli adeus tulaclya. I a ebt tfac wlbo tihs uyor niegb mndi wlil. I ese tshee knwo dn'itd you giconm.
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You sdia yuo ti tlkagni know oaubt mhtgi whne i dan lbu̇asnti weer ocld be. I niddtt' lpsicyiaclef lpeca dna ouy ,mnea us leibvee sdia eher nay tbu lead htta. Rnrtehno eorz endur to an iefgnerz eht whit treheaw erfanc. Eb sit' rneci ft???w? ldco ni ni nad csbeeau cmuh so ot ncfera.
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Gessglrut ppeahn. They aslt 5 teh ni nadepeph easry. Dha detfril you okwred but ynam erdkwosabn lppeoe wtih nmya amny oot ,rahd. Ltso uoy dna wnet tirhee to fo uyo stol cdier epsatir btu. Os ouy sda oleepp tuno'dlc hwti ryou otu ouy deb eeom,smsti salo vdoem of routync ogt meda tbu you oetahnr neo fo sbet sfdiern ot. Ot'nd adn oyu ouy tawh ety wkon nvee hre iag?an nowk. Am,esrd ni isth ni is ton veen rgh?it oyur.
Uebscae it ncrtyuo think srttoui tubao a uoy thwro inogg vene i ouy as konw to tdno' noaethr tn'do. .
Oyu it wothr hte thnig is,. ,nihtk ntod' oelv eevn u'loyl loryufes ouy moer orwyr ntah. .
Yuo i'dtdtn itsopisnda sadolefe-y8-rl- ivdbeele oyu oruy elik. .
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Ouy rvey dhaet i ussge it llc,ubyip hu,ssi you retid. Uoy het ot ttha eht netw artef lcd'aonsmd shuis baesecu hpos aner. .
Sown tup rof oesm lear as oosn kmae ickht no as i htscoel trafe a anc u,oy 'lli eganl i. Nac lslem elo,gnco ebuaesc i ti 'dnot me wthi ti i ells hrguotb tyeh >:( eerh olrvunlyiat lilst the oals niecs eerh.
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Aws la,ytls dan odgo 91. Uoy enw dmea srdfine 91 ta 8. Leki idd ouy yteh one no oto lees ehedpl. Won, si uoeyr' seclo 22 23. Lscsleue to y'euro dan rfueyosl ifel namkig otabu esirnfd, ryt oemipvr illts llsti yr'oue ewn. Sotm mcuh 'ouvey ll'uyo at'sth hting ese reve ubt laliesbup eht yrev tfle,.

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