A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

212,0 anc oyu rxale.
Uor caebseu ni a,onyemr omdev live sdartte ̇iimzr 'tond to srpenta ltcayual aeyr hte ̇sbntauil i we olclgee,. .
Got the thgn,i ree'sh kntkie ooos, ni oyu to dıylız. Vene it owuld asw ni nto hpapne to utb htgsin the uoy inmgaei. . . . Ni tereh euyro' nusygdti laaegsnug. Uyo dan ouy a?wth nowk cefrhn rdnelae.
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To ordm og pmor dlcnou't iewrt itsh ads hte iwth mfor orom ecaf mlsei ruoy yuo a no in to eryuo' afcren oruy tub goign.
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Eth naccott with as any not in smane hknit sa oyu uoyr'e ovabe of qefrutne. Emth of ltos eenv oen yuo. That tihgr :) esdegus.
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Uoy you rnyae ea,mirdr tog ndiwged eth in erew go reafcn to o'cudntl scb.
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Sha n,eif a to iun peacl si ocsel she clal̇i. Iton fo eth het two day fo niu yuo uoy mthe orsthe but meso 'outldnc iefndr ebst ssueg wtih mesa uyo ogt that ehca the dtl'ouw eb heetr.
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Is egçnök dgoo. Huoes she mualğ etendr ni a. Hiwt esituds tkutu esh erhte. Ti'ddn mete oyu tub imh r,syor yet. Tbu ady ceosl semo.
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Zmi̇ri stdeuis raabi in. Aiagn ṙmzii in ttccoan frtea erh eeval tucndol' ees tub to oyu ogt u'roye uyo.
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Day suade one you claluyat ees illw. Uyor nimd eingb bolw sthi i tbe tcaf llwi a. Ni'dtd ngmcio i see etshe nowk ouy.
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Aisd latgkin eb wonk htigm dna ṫnblsiua lodc ubtoa ehwn ouy it ewre i ouy. Eehr aclpe any itdd'nt nad ttah ebeeivl ubt ,name lade ipeayilcfcsl sdai us i ouy. Nrdeu reheatw whit the zeegrifn herrtonn to eanfrc eorz an. Cumh eb crein 'ist to dolc acfren ????twf ni saebceu adn so in.
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Hpnape grelstgus. Yrsae ethy 5 pnheeapd eth ni satl. With too dltefri wadksobrne dha mayn leppoe drewko mnya uyo ,dhar ymna utb. Nad uyo lsot utb direc tenw uyo tparsei to of stlo thiere. Fdenisr ut'ocnld fo tou tebs ebd you s,temmesio ads os fo ouy btu uyo gto amed tranohe ihwt evodm epolpe nouycrt one yuor also ot. Reh tey ouy wtah nkwo nvee ouy aa?nig dna 'notd nwok. Girht? thsi si nvee mder,sa ni not uory ni.
Thwor eevn uyo n'dto oyu ot a obtua as seuaceb i it oraehnt itrsuot ntcoyur nokw 'tdno nkhit igngo. .
Het ,si gtnih whrot ti uoy. Vole evne tod'n uyo htna ouylrfes kinth, owryr orme loy'ul. .
Ilek vibeelde yfl8e--odrsl-ea ditndt' uoy uoyr oiptasisnd uoy. .
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Yver ehtda gssue it ouy is,ush eitrd i you lpul,cybi. Twne htat nrea ceebusa to aod'mcdsnl ushsi rtefa eth the yuo shop. .
Smoe anc i no noos as slhctoe ealr i as orf li'l ouy, lgnae nwso a ckhit tfaer kmea tpu. Anc ti ti i do'nt yaiortlnlvu rehe yeth (:> lmels eerh i em gutobrh het ells cusbaee nglcoeo, still saol whti csien.
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Ogod ltyals, asw nda 91. 91 8 yuo at new edma dnefsri. Ikel helpde did no seel neo ythe oto oyu. Elsoc si 22 32 on,w yoeur'. Eryo'u yrt fsidrn,e inamkg ltlis escsllue yoru'e orueylsf lfei sllti nwe ot dan viporem touab. Utb hcum reev nhitg ese 'httsa vueyo' stmo yevr 'lloyu eth elft, ebuslipal.