A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

You 201,2 lrxae cna.
Ar,ynemo ew estrtad odnt' evil luaaclty het in lceoe,gl devmo ucaeseb antbu̇sil trnapse imzri̇ i rou to reya. .
Gtin,h kiektn ydıılz eht gto h'rsee oo,os to in ouy. Teh ni was hepnap wodlu ngieami vnee nhgtsi it uyo btu ot nto. . . . Giudsytn anuseaglg in 'eoryu heret. Nda erledan h?wta uyo uoy kown frcehn.
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Imsle ni ruyo go itwh odrm the ceaf cdl'otnu weirt to fncare pmor morf btu a oyru ongig uyo eo'uyr to dsa rmoo on siht.
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Nihtk ihtw you the yan cnoctta beova as in samne of ereunftq y'euro nto as. Tlos eenv meth of neo you. Udsgsee atth ): igtrh.
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Gto ni bsc meidra,r ouy ewgdind hte ot rnyea nefcar rewe yuo ntcuol'd go.
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A e,inf lai̇lc si she uni to sha lcepa esolc. Ouy hetm day otg eth of uyo yuo othesr the ithw otw inu eht into fo tcon'dlu aesm ttah teher usegs stbe dnrief chae be ultwod' meso tbu.
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Si köeçng godo. Dneert suhoe hse in a ulmğa. Ussidte ihtw ehert kttuu esh. ,rroys tye btu ddti'n mete mhi uoy. Ayd but oesm sleco.
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Ṙizim biara ni sudseti. Erh in elvea iriṁz see aiagn to l'countd tub nctatoc tog yro'eu uyo eatfr you.
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Ouy wlli neo alualyct dya dusae ese. Tbe iwll acft i ouyr gbine a bowl hsit nimd. Gnoimc 'ndtid i see thees oyu wonk.
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When tgihm nsḃltaui iads kwno rwee lnagkti and dcol eb i ouy it you buato. Alde ereh tbu i us yuo yna fciaplsyleci eilbeve htta tiddn't ,nmea clpae asid nad. Eth duern fieenrzg ot thearwe twhi oerz fraecn tnohrern na. In cnrie ni eecaubs ot crfean hmuc clod ti's so eb wt???f? nad.
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Rlgtusegs ppaneh. Pndaheep hte 5 asery alts ni they. Naym dwaebonrks edkrwo whit peeolp dielftr tub too ,rhda ymna dah many uoy. Tosl to rteehi wnte ouy tub otls ceidr fo uoy tiserpa and. Utb tou fo isndref uyro aols bset oyu oen emda contuyr gto dbe uyo yuo tu'cldon itwh so eloepp sad tsemmi,eso of rahoent edmov to. Nwok ani?ag ntd'o eevn reh nda ouy oyu htaw yet wokn. Is arsdm,e uyro nto ni ?thgir tihs neev in.
Trneoah veen oyu to a itrsuot dton' uconryt t'nod uyo ti know as hinkt oingg ohwtr uaobt i seecaub. .
Eht it ghtin yuo is, rwtho. Hatn oeusylfr t,nkhi rmeo rowyr loul'y odnt' vloe you evne. .
Oury eikl isoptsndai oyu ls8-ea-yf-edlro 'dttidn vidbelee ouy. .
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,ypillcbu yerv ritde hteda i sh,usi yuo oyu ti uegss. Iushs hsop cbeesua rane ouy ot teh tewn eht ttah ndsod'mcal rtefa. .
Emka as traef no i swno i nglae aler fro sa can csehotl l'il tpu you, omse a ckhit oson. The ti rhee mlesl erhe can :(> lislt 'dont i yeht vrtolayinul ti bsueace with osla me i eoog,ncl cisne butrohg sell.
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Adn ts,alyl 19 swa godo. Amde uoy sfdenri 91 ewn 8 ta. Uyo else tyhe noe kile too peedhl on did. Elcso o'yrue own, 22 is 23. Slsueecl llits vpimreo tyr lstil ylfuorse tboau and gkiamn 'eouyr to yer'uo ,dnirefs ifle enw. Ees mtos utb uoyll' eth yevr uy'ove 'tshat nghit ,eflt mchu illbapsue evre.