A letter from March 20th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I am writing to tell you how much I am excited to see how I’m gonna be in 2025 I hope that I’m doing well and In a good health body builder and a wise person i hope I didn’t even drink or did anything haram I hope I am the laith who always dreamed to be now I hope my grandma is in a good health and all of my family members I hope my dad got rid of haram habits I hope my mom is in a good health Ya rab I feel like I’m texting a new futuristic person I want to copy and paste my notes which I wrote in this and past year about what are the most things that made me mad in 2019/2020 I hope any of it changed Vibes :) I hate my dad. I want to hang out . I want to get shredded . I want money . I want phone . I want a bike . I want to study . I want money again . I want a real relationship. I want real people . I want someone who wants to understand me to make me happy to trust me to advice me . No one is understanding me . I’m always alone . I love my self . I believe in my self . I’m powerful . I’m thankful . I’m a beast . I love myself again . Maybe my goal is quiet far . I will reach it someday . I don’t like it how I get weak sometimes . I feel like I want to break my phone right now . **** Reem She’s ***** Ughhh I don’t wanna stop writing . I enjoy posting insta pictures . I love attention . I hate everyone . I want to start praying . I’m feeling strangled. I want my friends back . I hate Qaddoura . He’s a mother ****** . Ughhhhhhh I wanna **** him . I don’t need anyone . Bye I hate my dad I wanna sleep bye . 8 nov 2019 I hate my dad I loved his car I wanted to be better He doesn’t mind He’s a piece of **** He loves his self Selfish Bad Ughh I’m down rn I’m alone I’m good Believe in god I will be shining someday People are **** But I’m always try to stay positive Idk No one can understand me I love my self I want everything I want to be that guy who I’m always dreaming to be him I don’t need anyone I will be i will be I hope I could make everyone happy I don’t wanna lose anyone I just want them to be honest I hate Life is hard it depends on money Money Money Money Idk Tawjihi made me psycho with my self No one can read this Only my mind n my heart I don’t think that anyone could touch that deep point that was planted inside my heart Idk I’m different 14/11/2019 I hate my dad Again He’s **** Stupid I want to **** him up I’m feeling weak Strong at the same time Idk I just have too many plans to do in my head Can’t deal with his ****** life Is he thinking that he can enslave us ! Or he can treat us like animals ******* He’s so dumb He doesn’t have any sense of liability He is so selfish I hate himmmmmmm I don’t wanna keep writing bye 15DEC19 I want to **** them Fake friends Fake relationships Fake girls I hate everyone I love myself I want to sleep 19DEC19 I hate my uncle He’s dumb Who are u to tell me that I’m nothing Ur nothing😡 I’m not a man ? U ****** **** A piece of **** I hate him Who areeeee youuuu to talk with me like this !!!!! Idk I’m ok **** u I want to live alone I don’t need anyone in my life Life is nice They’re all haters All of them Old school guys **** them I love myself Huh HAHAHAHHHAHAHA ****** PEOPLE NEVER MIND I’m proud of myself or not giving a **** to them I know I will be that one who I always dreamed to be someday HAHAHAHAHAHH dumbass alaa **** youuuuuuuuu 7mar Go work on yourself 23DEC 2019 Feeling alone I don’t need anyone **** everyone 6 JAN 2020 I’m in a good mood right now I hit the gym today and was lit 🔥 I hate my dad He hates me بوت طبقتين لابس الولد Kos o5toooooo Why he’s so silly and dumb Look at the way he think Ughhh I don’t want him in my life I’m so mean in every letter I write He’s ********* A piece of **** He think he’s a man I swear he isnt even A male I love my life And I’m sure I’ll be having a bright future All I need is to continue studying I want to live the university atmosphere I want to wake up early with a good mood And to in the early morning to the uni I want to enjoy my life I want to forget every bad moment I used to live with or happened with me I want to forget who’s my father I want to forget when my mom was sick I want to forget all of the old friends I don’t need anyone I want to eat alone I wanna cook for myself And enjoy my healthy meals I want to build a fit body I don’t want my father again He’s always drunk He’s so selfish I’m sleepy good night 🌙 8/2/2020 Feeling I will be that man who I’m dreaming to become everyday I hope I reach my goal I wanna do my best Thank god im in a good health and feeling comfortable bye bye ❤️ 25/2/2020 I’m feeling so relaxed because finally the blur disappeared and I found what I was looking for since I took part in the gym yassssss 9 March 2020 I’m in a very bad mood now I don’t know what’s wrong with me I keep asking my self why Im doing all these things why do I go to the gym why I’m eating this big amount of rice and chicken why I’m drinking 3-4 protein shakes everyday why I’m spending all my money buying healthy food should I quit Can I continue in this game ! I’m feeling that i don’t wanna do anything I want to sleep forever I don’t wanna live my life I feel like there’s no one loves me everyone needs something from me that’s why they’re still with me I’m so mad I don’t need anyone I just wanna live in another country and forget all of these ****** people I really want to find my self in somewhere too far away from my main country I’m remembering every negative moment happened with me I’m not talking to anyone right now Im alone wallah there’s no one to talk with I don’t know why I ain’t talking with any of my family members they can’t feel me or even feel how I’m feeling right now I’m feeling broken Every negative that was said to me is on my head I’m feeling that I wanna vomit 🤮 Ughhhh I hate everyone Bye .. I hope I passed tawjihi and I’m studying at university now I hope that I have a good car and money good bye ❤️