identity crisis, pink lemonade vodka.

I have to be a little drunk to write this. I'm not sure where this is going, or what I am doing, or If I will be able to finish this, but I figure I should explore all options. every faucet of every option. or as many as possible. today read lesbian *** porn, didn't really do much. But it was the thought that counted. and I thought and thought and thought... of her. Gripping me, touching me, being inside me. And I came harder than I have made myself come in a long long time. It was awesome. So I thought maybe I should write my own erotica which includes what I want her to do to me, what I want to do to her. maybe I should have *** with a girl. I want to have *** with her. anyways, scroll scroll I haven't been asleep long, I was drunk when I went to sleep here in her bed. She is my friend, her bed is comfortable. I didn't even think about it. But she has startled me awake. I can feel her hand stroking my side, my stomach, it is terrifying. She inches her hand down the length of my body and without hesitation slides it up my dress and rests it, stroking again, on my ribs. I pretend to be asleep. ****, my shame overrides my sense of desire. I want her and can't explore it... can even write this literotica. It's all just stuck in my head, and I can't release it. I might explode. Why the **** did she have to get a girlfriend? besides, I am (was?) the token straight girl But now I'm not so sure. now I'm not sure who my friends are, now I'm not sure of anything. and that's all I did. was pretend to be asleep as she touched me. and gripped me, and stroked me. I wish I hadn't. Because she made me so ******* wet. and now it's torturing me. I guess, futureme, I want to know if this is just a tiny afterthought now. Or if you find yourself attracted to other girls. If you still find yourself attracted to her. If you are even friends anymore (because now it's looking hazy) I want to know if she is still dating Jenn. I want to know if you got up the balls to tell her, I want to know if you told anyone... I want you to know. That I love you anyways.