A letter from January 23rd, 2020

Hey me, Happy birthday, I hope you got what you wanted and didn't wish for anything that you'll regret like that 'how the **** is it 2020' planner we bought with Kate. I hope you're doing well and feel happy because I'm certainly not, I think this month of not seeing any of my friends except Kate is taking a toll on me. I feel worthless and that no-one will miss me if I suddenly vanish. Ma obviously likes to spend time with Ate Mai Mai and relates to her more, it's the same with Pa Greg, everyone relates and talks better with Ate Mai Mai. I'm just a kid aren't I? I know that I shouldn't think this way and blah blah blah but I just can't help it. High school? What happens after High school. Why were we so dumb to spew all that nonsense about becoming Prime Minister? that's so dumb. You probably can't take the pressure. What if you like someone in High school? they'll probably reject you but I guess it's fair since you've rejected a lot of guys too. How's your problem going? I hope it's sorted. I'm tired of thinking this way. I'm tired of thinking no-one wants me or that everyone hates me and if I just took a swim in the bath with a toaster nobody would care. Why would they care? I'm just an annoying kid that mumbles and gets into everyone's space. How can I expect people to understand me when I just don't say anything at all. You're not inferior nor are you superior. You're Isa Chuntic. I hope you're better than I am right now and I hope you've found the courage to be true to yourself and to others. I hope you're fear doesn't hold you back too much. Life's too fast to just worry. The one who made a difference and stood up for what she believed in, even if she got in trouble is remembered. The girl who's quiet and doesn't do anything won't be remembered whether or not she had perfect hand-writing or perfect grades. Just be careful and try you're best to be consistent. I know you might be annoyed at me for saying this but I'm counting on you and I'll try my best to make sure you're past isn't something you don't want to remember.