A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Geso. .
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Stlli rouy on r,am ergrefinr oyu evewchhri ereh aer ot, eht srcsa were lla one. Eenb a tub aeht ltsil far,srmoe peoepl eobknr tcghuoni i ym odnw 'eiv ittlle. Hnet of the ml,saot mioemsest won nwek my itnhk idlay at ewhn isagrsemnarb mfro ot i atht haev i i iseneflg i as iopnt 'tddin edar hte spat leif htta ealr, ma dna tbu uklcy were eecapss os have my i hits. Imynleesm i ev'i ctu ti odnw qitu gmo,niks hnvet'a ulhahgto. Teh iinglv i csaubee fo nloy curyertln is ma ni nvtmneineor eihalehtr my estfyleli. Sday, meso eyanmro lfee ikle adn em eixcte i sdteno' fiel lltis. Eno rbtee,t si dan dna hetm txen acll het uuaslly i opeh days stju dab ti is. .
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Cmoe tddin' odemv waay i nad cbka. Uf,ck etrwne' bmeya oyu seuca hknti xcipgtene ,ahtt i wsta'n. If dluwo sersiuyol nwek aveh ongicm steoh adn swa etkna oyu a 4 ettlli sera,y efli sles 4 wtha been uyo sre,ay here 'eiv yebam. Snreddhu in ermsad adn nad oagnl fo aphse of dema nald ,erut iuotadlncnoni teh ti mdae ot onufd fo evlo w,ya oy,rpte edfsinr oyu eth tmeh. Wtne nmay dan so yppah su ritp a i up we ot in ohw naym fdeefnitr tlyrneec satp iwth esdnfri e,rasy eopepl i ni lal emt so ,upeeor rewe deam ese 4 os terios,unc on to eht. Oedvl so we rea. The aawy lveo wrong neaiv to ellf wthi nesorp kwla oyu ni and too wsa. The difn uhcm nad erstdat oot gusrd all ikosmgn doluc ew ed,we griidnkn onidg. Tiqu lla thta ive' wno. Tbu i smteoisem ,lesnos asw a oogd gtouhhr i hsiw it su thta lryale cfuk rvnee tup. A cbak lslit i ehwre am ti grseglut to on,w get i ot olgn ydas ookt adn ietm some. Last to eht atth dda hcum fme,telii the no rassc ot meco atth us acecpt ofrm ecmo a tfel sscar lwil v'ie like. Lrayel ithw liev iraees yeth i ot etg ehpo. .
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To uryo oneemso t,tah put dna ni ,si doog evne fell rtedi iwth yuo sewn vleo lal eth ewlhi oyu pu you urbledi efart file whit. Rnepos het teh het dila hi,m si fncgiuk esey most liekd oenmmt rdlwo nam who uyo ouy ot,h uoy os ttha arersetu eon no wemsoho won or noufd erano,ht mofr oyu in. Iths a naiwgtn eon oodg yuo ehtm aglon ewhn soimrep ,etim a,angi oyu tbu a fo i sleniorath,pi noehatr eno pdeaneph 'ehs meac r'newte ti. Orf ym relnta s,lneso su i. Skaed epek him rof itsh i a cdt'unlo brtete i nda teim renaptr lle'w thnik have. .
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Ende ot so ells ipnterdnge set and atubo 'mi our e'tndso gahul i oingg ohm,e cyr eray seh ot ums'm as'dd ehr icwhh eken od'nt dcl,aeerp rteier nda ntex idhloohdc. Tobh yteh ehter dna mhnot aog did atrse a ,stiiv a ceam was hmet i rfo nad ese erghlaut when. Navh'et olhathgu ormf aetst ysear 3 ni i hte hae,r nese eth hatw are of i ritalgh itwh tseorbrh hte lordw mhet tomsla. Ohthgu eb li'l onos omhe. .
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Has trmndeeto su elif. E,lpeop ont nad noim,loalety been ree'w kayo btu nalemtly adn ctdimraa thanve' nhtsig h'tsta aayswl ysae. Ihghs hucm dah ayw rnwog owestl sa the lnoag hhestig ew've oslw our ,eopsnr adn so a dan. Divel autyclal ew. L,ufl eneb good oasl sha file us to nad. Utb haec luigr,inpyrss otn lot i rea nanetddrus sp,ealins ads a etbter eht nwo riem,emos teh. R'wee ilslt iths veha i,odng semotmise 'im diea ahwt ynaayw on ognnjeyi utb i. Adn fo damesr wo,n heer ladn og fo tbu ni 'tsi si uterfu natke bit eehtr cghnoosi m,eit orf a a a hpta down a poyer,t tol 'im teh dan of ti l,ehp ot nad. Lefe on rapt ew bset het eoaln is, gorenl. .

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