A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Eogs. .
.
M,ra llist ewre are no teh erhe t,o ecierhhvw enierrfgr uyo all srcas neo uyor. Enbe i iev' eilttl uitcngoh ym lpoepe a utb thae slilt kebonr rsfomer,a down. I i nipot of atht tnkhi my were taht sa ot ioemesstm apts i i itsh nad thne edar dyila nkwe i acessep hte eth now avhe elif slfengei ykcul so utb aler, ta ,oltasm have mfro arsaimgsernb am my ndit'd hnwe. Dnow laugothh tcu sg,nmiok i limnesmey ta'vneh uqit 'vie it. Olny is sueaecb my nliigv etrmoiennnv am i hthaereli ieelslytf eltucnyrr eth in of. I me and kile fele ltlis ilef sde'otn meos ynemoar exetic a,dsy. Trb,eet is ohep is mhet xten i neo bda it lacl nda uuylsal hte nda asdy tsuj. .
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Dna omved bcka i cemo dt'din wyaa. Aceus i tgiecenpx oyu ybmea asw'nt eewrnt' ,atht khtin u,kcf. Sles stoeh atwh anekt y,rsae a niocgm tlilet rouseysli 4 eher ehva udwlo wsa maybe se,ray ev'i dan enkw ifel if 4 uyo you ebne. Doitunnonialc of dneusrhd dan ,way meda of dmea the ni oganl haspe of rue,t mhet adn ldna to serdma etroy,p eth oufnd it yuo leov dsnifer. R,nutescio ni ntwe hte hwit ,yresa euepor, lla rinesdf i eetirnfdf ni nad a tpas lrnetecy su no i pu os 4 ese epeolp ewer ahppy so ot ot prit met nyam so meda how naym we. Era so we leovd. Swa naive aayw rsneop lfle oelv nda awlk onrwg ouy too eth in wthi ot. Ginrndik gniod the tratdes oculd and dugsr fidn lla too we e,ewd gsminko cmuh. Tath uqit lal won ie'v. Gorhhut odgo it tup but verne i su swa ttha a somiesemt i onlses, cfuk iwhs lareyl. I it gtgruesl akbc to syda a i mite lltsi ot no,w adn ehwre koto ma etg gnol eoms. To moec alst m,etefiil dad cmeo the leik eftl ot a rcssa racss illw form cmhu atth ahtt on 'evi su eacpct the. Thiw ot ophe i sraiee lreyla gte eliv hyte. .
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Oogd eaftr bledriu efll swne thwi onsmeoe ot eritd up hwit ovel lal uyo upt fiel oyu vnee dan het yuor ,is htta, ilehw oyu in. Lkide you you teh esrnop on you haroten, oeomwhs eeys rwldo ni emmotn eht im,h so nwo adil tsrrueae who ro ncigukf thta to,h dufno eth stom form man noe ouy si. I,tme a peoarsh,itiln gdoo hits btu semroip nhwe noe oyu eno aphpdene angia, a caem uyo 'ernewt i h'se ngoal etmh ti fo aerthno niwntag. Seson,l su rfo ernlta my i. I a vaeh lelw' ithkn entaprr epke bterte cu'lndto isht i nad ksead imte rfo ihm. .
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Dont' dda's dnretenpgi i to ryae iongg ihhcw eden our lcohoidhd eertir s'mum l,erdpeca oh,me hglau cry netx bauto slel adn so to dan notsed' tse seh i'm her eekn. A dan hteer it,ivs cema thbo hmte idd rfo nhwe etsar gao ees asw a tyeh i ahrleutg dan ohmnt. Rh,ae e'nhvta of hmet tsate ordwl the 3 het lhgtahuo aer lhatrgi i het ysare asomtl twih orfm ni rsroebth i tawh eesn. Nsoo be il'l hmeo uthogh. .
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Lefi sha ttedermon us. Not ykoa eysa but bene hst'at asywla eo,lppe nad maln,ooliety mletanly eerw' ratadicm a'hvnet ighnts nda. Isghh as awy a eswotl v'wee adn ruo mhcu ethhisg os slwo dah ogwnr pnser,o nda the lanog. We ltyaulac eldiv. Has sola to odgo dan us efil flul, eenb. Caeh erems,omi adndsrneut teetrb but hte lto a own s,lapnies yug,niilspsrr asd are hte i ton. I sith lstil im' idae yanway ogijnyen ehva no hatw btu ogndi, motsimsee erw'e. Fo lot fo ahtp bti in ti a tub ot ,mtie etyro,p nad og is m'i gooshinc aenkt amrsed a own, ofr fo land a 'sti reeh dan dan a odnw eehtr het utefru p,hel. Lroeng setb on eelf oeanl teh ,is part we. .

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