A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Gsoe. .
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Ereirrfgn lal illts rma, casrs oen ouy on rea erew wervhceih ,ot erhe ruoy hte. Poelpe lteitl ym nthciguo i roekbn 'evi wnod utb ms,reaorf been eaht tlsil a. As pniot i eewr os eapescs legifsen ayldi adn nthe ehva hte yluck i vhea i shti i rmerssgabina ddit'n thta ym tbu onw ma to fo siosmteem eilf htta tmosal, ewnh hiktn lae,r arde i nwke ym at rofm tpsa the. I nth'ave ive' sigmonk, ctu ondw hagtoluh nieemsmly ti ituq. Vretmonnnie eth ausbcee ahelrihet is ni i fo ma ym teyiesfll nloy living uyectrnrl. Cxetie em 'stoden sllit ya,sd leef ikel lefi i reyamon nad mseo. Clla the noe syluula and tsju and is i t,reetb exnt it epoh hemt si adb dysa. .
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Ayaw eomc i bcka ntdi'd dan evmdo. Byeam nikht you ufc,k rteen'w saecu ,tath answt' eginptecx i. Uyo 4 a ryase, osthe heer efli enwk iv'e emaby whta louwd tknae aevh ouy wsa yleossrui ocnmig adn 4 rs,aey if neeb iltelt sels. Ay,w emrsad of uoy dema ndal ot hte of rsednfi hepsa ni hsedrdnu evlo emht dan dan nnutacnliidoo nalog it ,ertu ,rytope oudnf amde teh of. Went yesa,r etm to rwee epe,our os elcyrent 4 os no pyahp iwht a we ynma rfeditfen lppoee adem eht tpri lal see scr,ieontu hwo ot i adn pu nyam ni sapt us i rsfedni os ni. Odelv are ew os. Oot was nda kwal leov wthi psnreo to uyo ni nogwr inaev teh waay llef. We,de nmsgoki fdni hte ew ocldu lla gdrsu ongdi dna drttsea oto hcmu gnrkndii. 'vei onw uitq ahtt lla. Ernev odgo a that ckuf smoetmise i tup ti i tbu alyler saw sihw ,slseon ohrgtuh us. Some i dan own, a ilstl egt to asyd time gnlo i bakc otok herwe ot it gsglrute ma. Slat add elki csras oecm tath a fomr srsac feietmi,l mcoe ecatcp umhc eth lliw e'iv us teh ot to ahtt etfl no. Ehty heop ithw ilve ylarel eesari i ot get. .
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Omeosen up nad lla oyu nwse yuo lweih ni itwh si, to tfrea veen luiderb ouy uyro whti ptu llfe ,ttha eilf diter lveo eht oodg. Esey in dfnou uyo on howmose os ofrm odrwl eon imh, nwo hwo neospr is uyo laid atth amn most ruretesa ikdle mnteom eth ro rn,htaeo yuo eht yuo kgfcinu ,tho the. Gdoo one etmh you cmae i fo a reipmso a nhoaetr nalog hist tub it mi,te ian,ag yuo eon hnew netwre' wgtnain hse' hapednep oins,tahprlei. Us i for lns,soe ym anlrte. Adn a lun'otdc i asedk shti fro kpee time ihtnk trrnape aveh ewl'l i tbrete mhi. .
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Set igngo i t'sdeno and om,eh ot ddsa' adn cyr eitenprgnd oholdihcd eekn she c,deraelp im' haugl nxte to mmus' eend ryea rou os her wchih eteirr outba t'dno lesl. Hnew a atser them came a erthe rfo nomht hotb sitv,i rauheglt gao ese idd adn i saw dan hyte. With srebhtro eht sene ear ysrae oldrw i iagtrlh teh solmat ,hera hwat ni i lugaohth ve'nath fo morf mthe 3 teh teast. Be ehom l'il noos uhothg. .
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Sha eifl toemrtnde su. Ubt ntyelaml ayko weer' and eo,plep eben tnhsgi otn ah'stt alywas loeyotm,inal syae ramtcida and vanh'te. Ayw etwsol gwron as v'wee aolng wosl a hghsi esghith dan so oru hte uhcm ,epnrso hda nda. Cauyaltl edliv we. Oodg eneb adn lfie ash su fllu, oasl to. Ads i aehc not hte etbert lasse,pin lot the uantdrdens a now rae i,eersmmo surlyisgn,pri tub. Btu hwta i avhe neijyogn m'i r'ewe on tilsl aedi no,igd isht awnyya stemeosmi. Now, is fro lto hte dna og of ot feuurt utb eher ni a tpha e,lhp it ktnae ocnhoigs nlda ,mite im' fo tsi' a bti tehre of wodn and sdrmea a oytre,p a dna. On ratp bste ew nlaeo legron fele eth s,i. .