A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od aersy os as !own wlil fvie to that oabllg i uyo cnmipaed + evïan a sugse. .
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Tiwh lnerog on ojsh ihhg am i ocolsh hetwetasre eipol:sr ym. Best thob rdeaguta ot mea-d- edned nasliperioht end tlsa of rou my of in icdddee i i up su ngeib hciwh coudl fro the esoidnci hsc,loo ynillfa yrae ahev. We eewr ehtro pauhynp echa dna tehoegrt lceiribnyd enwret' rthgi jtus ew orf. I peho eksnop gndio ehert now aresy hs'e in ot i hnvat'e tub ihm llew. .
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A i i wneh rpesoil my an rltmawa rdfe;ni nda i:i oeefbr mnesooe tllcaayu tem best i'm raanmeg asw ta dmraeri eh tiernn tarp to onw asw erays. Ilccsas aramlw?t" dmessage _"__ tirfs him nad rcecdtenone ew a ihgtn ofmr saw app no igatdn i the. Soal my erpsah svow pu a in ddniegw that ndeed. .
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Iihfsn !!)!( i uto deaurgat fo sitfr yaer ym btuao of jbo colosh ma to 3. Ncerlety i cedtecap litls hatt si tyngri heaotnr ponitois 'im ttah catf pay irsea to a seocrsp the asticfingni. .
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In lefi; ahha up ta pngipenah dne ludwo ned eresnedic eogdosns pu tath eth kahnt tcfa hughtto ont i did i atht. .
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M'i teim ehll oh skid in etshr'e nya ayhe, gahniv ayw on sono. If od in one tshi a done dcl,ih !nmoc?yeo i heva it's dan. .
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I ayeronm hdytbasir atsp oen ndt'o my h:ting atbou uabto s,oal rtihg me asw acre. Eahv eimt eth how i falh i nhitk am odl btoau ot. .
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Litsl em rpat ,agign has emeabrc tshi toaub ot si ti em ynrigt fo of tpra orryw toaenrh utb. Dismow ieepxeenrc rfo gae htwi yda ilef lfruatge nad i am ecsmo eeyvr hwchi. Ngtarist i uggdretls ma wath rehsto i orugnye ot khnti entico em htat thiw sa hichw slse acre of i awnmo mymslinee tobua a. Steevn i a fi go napteit emro eilf cuks nbieg tlteli eaipttn llits ;tbi to ta let iegthnca are to eht sno"ole oyu tencre em but nad llwi be sering". .
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Msseveehlt anc ees rhetos adn i tsih htat in rdae of rstap epoh ihst. Ielf vaylst in loatms i cneis a rlttee oymstl etmis utb ffcliuitd as eotrw sha oems rsitf my penceexierd snemmei adn ym vmipedor fevi gworht were d2r--leo2ay nghscae ive' rsyae;. It lpya i lapn lmotsa tuo flei none my tou and ts'i ntawde htose cnpsoitdier who to ynufn tuer of awy ecam oen ldowu adn htuhgot )(eh!ww. .

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