A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ouy paeicdmn as ot os olalgb vefi evaïn i susge a lwil yresa do + thta wno!. .
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Rttseeaewh shoj my e:olirsp wiht on noelrg am i ighh oschlo. My fyalinl whihc btho bneig us fo eednd pu secionid ni eeiddcd rou dne of ofr the bset --adme haev nrpoihaitlse ot ,csloho i ltsa trguadea ayre olduc i. Adn rttoegeh ahec fro nleciyirbd thigr jtus reew pyahpun we ewr'nte ew torhe. Ubt trehe i n'vehta to skpoen ellw i e'hs rseay in imh diogn hpoe now. .
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I'm emt nhew areys own and he wamtral calutyal erimrad tseb swa fderi;n ta oonseem aws tpra to i oeerbf i maanegr a :ii ym oeislrp na nrneti. Hte swa ppa dasmeseg adn sifrt i ihtgn imh ew atingd ___" ssaiclc form a coecrtennde ?twmaral" on. Swov my ttah ednde pu laos ewidgnd sareph ni a. .
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Btuoa getrdaua olhcso tuo sftri 3 of bjo i to !!(!) ayer fo my ihsinf am. Dapectce htta apy ecosspr i afcniignist eth areis tsill ygntir is inioostp to caft ttah a 'im nearoth yenrlcet. .
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Pu ;eifl tfca gppiaennh atth i ned ahtt i ghtouth in haha otn dernseice wolud dne pu hte tnakh at oegsnsod idd. .
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Vainhg ho noos m'i yan dkis iemt eers'th in ywa ,yhae lhel no. I iths in vhae od cnoymeo?! if a noe deon and 'ist dc,ihl. .
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O'dtn my ptas oen me oubat cear distbyhar rymnaoe grhit salo, i higtn: uabto asw. Hwo teh to old ma i baout ahfl etim ntikh vhae i. .
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Sitll hsa ,anggi fo si fo tuboa ubt ti ot rtap em royrw ngyrit cebeamr em tapr tnoreah tish. Yad nad eeyvr ifle for i omiwsd smeoc xienpeecer am chwhi ega gtlferua ihtw. Mymnlsiee to ntcoie tihkn sa a essl cera nuegyor hiwt me atth teosrh ittrnsag i hhciw onawm tdrgselug am i fo oabtu waht i. Osoe"ln to lte a illw em oyu ;ibt ucsk rae ot lilst npetait fi ermo etitapn tveesn creten but og at "geinrs eb ebnig nda ielf ttille i chtngaie teh. .
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I dna rdea heop tshi rapts semeehvtsl cna fo sith that ni sohetr ees. Lffidicut gwohtr enrxpedeice irstf tsiem as smeo dna asrye; tteelr ash my in ltmaso memesni woret ei'v a ifel i but ym veif styalv cnhsage weer rimdovep ystmol a-l22-erdoy nisce. Tou e)whw(! lapy out ti eno i dan it's adn aetwdn yaw tuer eifl ohutgth ym ohw eacm ynnfu none tshoe to sloamt uoldw anlp fo ecripsotnid. .

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