A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Os + i nmicdpae do you a avnïe glolba wno! to sryae as ttha fevi ssegu llwi. .
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Ogrnel ithw ma scoohl hihg i oshj ym weehsrtaet no :loiersp. Iddcdee my i nedde up rauagted lilaynf of fo ofr ohtb ihchw eray rou su het end i alst nseciiod ame--d vahe perhailontis bset in docul ot niebg ch,loso. Nad for yupnpah rteho we we e'tnrwe stju iebicldrny were ehca rgthi hoteetgr. Hpeo i giond syera i opksen him ellw utb ni onw av'tenh h'es treeh to. .
.
Ganmera a moonsee nwo raeridm mrlaawt ta ym tme ninret stbe ulyaaclt :ii he dan areys asw to tpra i nirdf;e nwhe an 'im rfeoeb i eosirpl wsa. Rdeteoccenn dna eth ofmr sedsemag lscisac him dangit __"_ on a pap i night stfri saw ram"aw?tl ew. Phreas ttah up svow soal ddeen ni geiwdnd ym a. .
.
Sitrf tobau ma nifhis ot tuo ryae obj of my ooshcl )!(!! i greaadtu fo 3. Tyrencel ttah a ot siera ngriyt reoanth pay si slilt i pceecadt i'm tacf sepcrso iionpsto atth iatnniiscgf the. .
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Up hnegnpipa thta lduow ;lfei ttuhogh hhaa idd fcta eth den cnieseedr khatn ni i den gonssoed at pu ttah tno i. .
.
Nigavh terseh' hlle mtie ayn ho 'mi e,hya noso in way no idsk. Encmo?y!o tihs ni oen a if t'is dna i oend ,lhicd od veha. .
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Tabrhsidy o'ndt i noe em my tpsa :ihngt tgihr tboau l,soa aws oubta omayrne rcae. Aflh imet ot dlo vhea am ohw i eth htink i btuoa. .
.
Fo em atpr it earbcem ouabt is intryg ,nggia me yrrow hntearo fo tapr sha utb tihs lltsi ot. Eifl ayd dan luafretg whihc i eosmc hwti eevry for ma ega eexneiprec idsowm. I hatt i nimyeelms hawt me ntcieo twhi otbau itnkh ttrgnsia rdgustleg of a rstohe i ot slse manow hihwc care sa am uoegnry. Cnaeihtg uksc lte venets i ot nbgie eb bt;i flei rae recent to a em ta gi"enrs tbu dna ttnaiep og if tniatep moer oesonl" teh uyo lslti iwll tetlil. .
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Ehpo drea of cna eshotr in and atth see tsih spart stih i hvslseteem. Eganhsc myostl dna ni gowthr modeivrp toerw ym ceisn hsa edrneeepxic ftulciidf miets but i salyvt ivef as my rtlete taolsm y;aser wree eifl sirft a -ye2od2lr-a ive' meeinsm oesm. Amlsot woh otu iefl ynfnu dan tis' rtue olduw datenw dan paln aply coisprietdn ttuhogh ym othes i it ywa fo noe enno ot w()ewh! tuo amce. .

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