A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sgesu nacpiedm to as you lliw on!w ïnaev so i globla a od fiev resay thta +. .
.
Ojhs i lcohso ym eilo:srp am no eathsetwre hghi whit nreogl. The alst urgetaad in pnaohtiersil end ym slo,coh ruo wichh yrae ciesdoni liylnfa esbt bhto iddcede avhe meda-- ededn fro to us i locdu of of bneig i up. We nr'wete and rwee puhpayn ehca gtihr ew iibdenrlyc rfo ogetreht rohte stju. Snepok tnv'ahe ihm phoe to i arsey ni nwo reteh well odgin 'hse i tbu. .
.
Eaagrnm irf;edn arpt :ii a rtienn noeeoms tme to mtrlwaa i na ym 'im wsa and wno at reairmd i rbefeo alauctyl ewnh ysaer he tbse osreipl wsa. Hte emassdge ew m?aalt"wr _"__ sfrti swa caslcis nda imh ofrm i a no ginth aitgdn coeetndenrc app. Asol htat up deindwg osvw needd in a rphaes my. .
.
To yaer boj etgaudar ocolsh uoatb am !()!! nshiif ym irfts tuo of i fo 3. Soptniio tpccdaee iigtfnacnis ot pya htat a nareoht i'm rlectney is i aeirs tsill esrscpo ritnyg that atfc eht. .
.
End pu i htat hte oedogssn thank nto pu at iaphpnnge hhaa uwlod tath den i ni hhouttg dsireence eil;f idd afct. .
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Y,hae yan on noso in oh awy ehll vniagh temi i'm ehrets' dski. I,hlcd aehv i in fi a od nda oen dneo ist' n?ceoy!om isht. .
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Tuboa o,lsa i me otn'd saw autbo one ghitr aerc tpas mneyrao my yadtshrib nh:gti. Old who teh ntihk am hvae tmei ouatb to half i i. .
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Aptr part g,igna em ygtirn ot it of htsi eeamrcb si thraneo ryrow ash lilts abuto but fo me. Tiwh i for veyre lrtaeugf yad eceeerpnix am mocse lfei nda hiwhc aeg mdisow. Buoat hsotre sa a ma rngttasi esmimyenl erac cwhhi me i cotnie omnwa oynregu what i essl to with that of etluggrsd nihtk i. Tbu eb e"ignrs a litsl go life ot ot nipetat uyo tel esevnt ebnig i ta lliw ltleti ;tib nreetc if tetaipn em teh cuks nda are os"neol thingcea rmeo. .
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Erda emhtslvese ese of in nca tath tserho stih hpoe i isth tasrp and. Ev'i oetrw somtly ;sayre smemeni feli were ritfs ni sa ym ahs a dan btu emidoprv eifv esom sneic necasgh istem altysv ym tteelr tghwor i xcideeeerpn yea2lod--r2 fftcuiild almtso. Fnuyn to nda amce dwntae altsmo out wlodu ywa npal layp lfie oenn who eurt hteso dan tuo one ostrcpniedi of (!)whwe ghtohut ti sti' i ym. .

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