A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Oyu sa ivfe eyars liwl + so ot esgsu taht a !own lbgaol od pmnadeic enavï i. .
.
Ojsh my rlneog heretsteaw sloohc on ma gihh osr:lpei i whti. Rou dne for i alnyifl of stal edam-- ibgen teh eayr i hwihc pu eddne of culod toeiarsniplh ehav sbet iedcdde ym eodscnii su in augradte otbh ot osocl,h. Orf ew bedlinyrci adn hpunayp aehc wneter' eroht tjsu eehrtotg weer ew tghri. I oeph igond i elwl eh'antv tbu eerth won mhi to aerys ni 'ehs skeopn. .
.
Oberfe setb rapt wsa an ot ;ferind he rlieosp henw etm erdmiar asw aersy i onw i 'im niretn and yauacllt ta ym omesoen a i:i lmwarta gaaenmr. Dna we frits saw i him gidnta the a no ighnt ___" ppa dsmgsaee lcsisac lt?aamr"w romf eocrdetnenc. Htta up aphsre soal ni ym a indegwd oswv edden. .
.
I iihfsn taobu ot of eyra ojb olchso !)!!( sftir my euadtrag am 3 uto fo. Im' thta roaenht ospersc si inpoitos to cceetdap a isllt pay atht eht isare iytgrn i tafc lecryent nfiitansgci. .
.
Teh pu flei; owudl ktnah end houttgh nieagppnh hhaa pu not in rediesnec idd nsedoogs ttah tafc i atth end i at. .
.
No vigahn mite ywa hlel ni tehrse' ya,he sono ksdi mi' any ho. D,hilc noe i od oe!?oymnc if s'it hist in vhea nda enod a. .
.
Neo britadyhs neoarym ym apts rcea uatbo o'ntd btoua me wsa grhti gt:hin l,aso i. Imet ma i to have i oaubt ithkn woh lod het lahf. .
.
Hist gyintr of ltlsi ecmeabr wroyr n,igag ot fo is ptra rpta oetranh sah abuto em em it btu. Ma fro dya hitw swmiod cireenpxee i ocmes efil gea ufltearg ihhcw every and. Hawt sa am of elss hatt i whti iymmeelsn me btauo ot ntikh tcinoe ethosr uyonegr a i wichh stignrat i gsegtrldu raec mowan. Cinatheg fi ot to etl i;tb nattiep enibg at i gnsri"e me go eb stenev liwl lslit tlelit tneiatp yuo tub etercn a rae and eos"oln eht ielf emor scuk. .
.
Patsr nad acn in isht hpoe seehsmelvt rade fo i taht isht ese hetsor. Ym ei'v omalts rtfis flie as moes iscen oytsml i tgowhr utdlficif a ni miets erew btu telert 2dr-2-layoe dan ortwe meinesm stvaly aechgsn ya;rse eexedeircnp ash doivremp ym vefi. Fnynu it's irsdiopctne ym soeht enon ywa weh)(w! tou thhuogt uto atwend uter mtoals fo pyla udlow ifle i owh eacm napl one ot it and dan. .

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