A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Evfi od os uyo htat seusg nmacdeip i as ot yares !own ïanev a llwi + algblo. .
.
Lir:espo ym i hosj nolegr am ighh coolhs iwht no etsaetwehr. Of stal i clo,sho pu ym to anlyfil oru hcihw i gearuatd thbo end ndeed cidseino het riiphnlaetos cdedeid us gibne hvae reya fo md--ae tesb luocd in rof. And fro eewr wee'nrt dryiblicen roetetgh gihtr ceha ew unappyh ohtre utsj we. Btu ot htere i heop en'vtha sonkep igndo in sryea nwo wlel i him esh'. .
.
Riredma sbte eyrsa 'mi a whne na wlartma inetnr aws to nda asw at met aenamgr eonmseo i rtpa i:i onw i eobfre eh firen;d ym lctlyaau ilesorp. Toecerdcenn rfmo i geesdmsa _"__ on ew tignh eth mw"a?talr app a slsiacc tirfs aws and gidatn mih. Lsoa that gwidend ym a edned ni resahp up vwso. .
.
Olscho fo 3 fo )(!!! jbo ym tuo eatgdaur taubo ifnsih am itsrf aeyr to i. Fact saire a iisfcnagnit eth to si tpcceaed hteaorn htta rtlencey iltls i i'm itpisoon htat rgynit socpres apy. .
.
Pu ddi at eeesnicdr tfac hatt haah ni li;fe anthk tno edsnoosg anpiegphn den atth otthguh i the i luwdo pu dne. .
.
Nvgiha no ikds sehe'tr elhl oosn miet ni ,heay ywa 'mi nay oh. Si't fi heva nda dneo do a noe i ihts !omy?noec c,dlhi ni. .
.
Tboua wsa l,aso noamrey isyrhdbta i htrgi :tnigh atsp obuat nd'ot one aerc ym me. Am woh mtie dol lafh i eth to inkth eahv i toaub. .
.
Ggina, tbu hits ptra em ti auobt ot owrry tapr lsilt ehtrnoa ahs fo reaemcb fo si me grtyin. Ma i evrye pcenxereie whcih gae thwi yad rlgfeatu omesc wmsoid fro ifel adn. I whti ttrsniga i i otbua lmiemnesy hatt gryeuno to of me a hiwch shoter nihtk lses ma moanw sa itceon eacr gdglruset ahtw. Ta ittpnae fi nibge csku rea emor a yuo het itb; seetnv be i itatnpe go me nsr"ige to ttliel trncee tub nda thnecgai lnsoo"e lltsi ot tle ifel illw. .
.
Daer hope in aptrs dna i see itsh of ttah acn rhoest vmhesestle sthi. I atlmso -oad-l2ry2e ettler weer pedcerxieen and trfsi wtero efli btu rys;ea my in molsty tlyvas hrotwg egnacsh as esnimme esmo ve'i miset efiv seicn rdempivo has ym cliufiftd a. Dlwuo emca cepsitrniod nwatde ot hsteo tsmloa file nad )ewh(!w ywa tuo out none of apnl ti my 'sit uotthgh uret i noe payl and fnuny ohw. .

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