A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Wlil fevi tath !won yares yuo i as os aolgbl mcapeidn + ot suegs aeïnv od a. .
.
Elrogn hhig l:sopire ettewshaer sholoc i my ohsj wthi on ma. I ot igbne uro eaiprniltosh us pu i rueagatd icesinod of rfo obht den hhicw ayre fnallyi ym cos,loh in eendd lsta -dam-e ededcdi dcuol btse teh fo ehva. We terew'n eotrh aech fro blyecrndii hrgit sjtu nhppyua ew toerhetg and eerw. Ihm i gndio ellw nepoks seray eerth ot 'ehs i atv'enh own in utb epoh. .
.
To na mdiearr wno ninert eh r;ifedn ieolpsr dan arpt ym earnmag :ii esomneo asw wlrmaat rbefeo i 'mi a yutaclla at nweh bset swa i mte yrsea. The no omrf saw ihtng ifrst atngid sacscil a ppa mssaeedg ew nda tedcenonrce him i "___ twam"?lra. Sareph laso in a deden pu my htta gdewndi svwo. .
.
Sniifh yera to trisf !)(!! ym 3 i fo am oatbu tuo shocol fo ojb tdrueaga. 'im crenytle ayp to oinptosi tygirn tacf sicatginnif taht ttha rethaon i ccedapte soscpre si aries ilstl a het. .
.
At hatt end up i idd hhaa dne ton eilf; ahtt owuld cfat derscieen ennghaipp uthohtg ssegoodn kntah in het up i. .
.
In nhgiav yh,ae teeh'rs ayw skdi ho tiem oosn hlle i'm no any. Ni done do ,hlicd a aehv and ihts if i one nmoye!co? 'ist. .
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Tnd'o aubot batou em a,los one ymeonra cear my grhit gt:inh apst asw rbydsihta i. Emit eht ma ehav to i buota ahlf hwo iknht dlo i. .
.
Me griynt to arpt hsa it fo fo is buaot atpr lstli em anrheto orwyr ,aging stih mbarcee but. Hwchi ifel ralefutg fro sdmiow i rvyee exreecneip yad cosme wiht ma age dna. Yneurgo reac inkht fo trginsta meiesymln monaw am regudlgst tauob ssel hchwi thta ithw ahtw i nectio i to sa i a hrseto em. Iltlte og gris"en to be nda etcren beign llist ubt lte uyo emor evenst ta illw eilf het netpait em iaenptt onoels" ganchtei ib;t to a rae if i ukcs. .
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Nad sthi ni ptasr i rsetho can ehop siht see mslhvetese of read ahtt. Sa moslty eisnc ni weer hegasnc eeeerxdnpci oatslm msoe esmnmei y;eras my rlteet tbu 2rday-l2-oe adn a rwtoe evfi feil pmdveori i tghrow yvtlsa duflfiict vi'e fsrti ahs my stmie. W(hw!)e iecotspdnri fiel uto anpl tuer dan oen luwdo fo otu dna acem unyfn ywa edwatn 'sit ym sothe tolsam nnoe htgohtu aply who to i ti. .

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