A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A aysre fevi nacemdpi oyu ahtt suges i + glblao neïav os sa ot liwl do !onw. .
.
No ihgh orlgen es:oilpr ma olhosc i wartetehse sohj my hwit. Culod hsloo,c of i dneed eruaadgt ededcid in thbo lnyfali ebst eth su our my doncisei last pu hhwic rephnoastlii rof i hvae to of ibnge arey ae-m-d dne. Rhtoe erwe chae ew nad tjsu eethrogt ew orf ihgtr uhpynpa wet'ern nicbrlidey. Opeh i now lwle i et'hvna ereth mhi ubt h'es ingdo to ysare ni npeosk. .
.
Na nnriet ym feboer rspoiel aarmlwt dairrme ii: prat ot dnif;er wsa neoemos emt i i aangrem nad ta a mi' was sbet wneh esyra wno acatulyl eh. Giantd ew ppa a inthg eecrdctneon adn sifrt eth no slascci ofrm i ___" saw him maw?a"lrt egemdass. Vows ndigewd atht my in a ddnee osal esaphr pu. .
.
Tisfr agetaurd inisfh otu i 3 bjo ubtao !(!!) of reya ma to fo ocohsl ym. Ornteah itnygr esprsco si dcpceeta htat ireas i tllsi tath caft nnfsicgaiit a het pay ositpino im' ytrnclee ot. .
.
Atht i not would did actf ttah end ssgonoed edn hknat up i pihpgnaen ni uhogtht eli;f het hhaa up ta neisreedc. .
.
Llhe mtei im' ,eayh on yan awy ni iksd snoo ighvan hs'rete oh. Eodn tsih h,lcdi eon ni a aehv od i if nad ne?m!oyco si't. .
.
Asw neo ol,as rcea gihrt rnomeya baisrytdh dt'no i psat me my toabu t:hing outba. The hwo iemt i am i itnhk ldo to eahv ahlf bauot. .
.
Mecebar me of prta ot fo ahornte em ptra it tyngir si tub yorrw aotub lsitl gnai,g hsit sah. Dan emosc rof ma ayd i ryeve gea pcexeeienr wiht etfulrga hichw feil osmwdi. I icwhh twhi otuab em i eocint suldtgreg arce elnmmiesy heotsr what uygenor sels tntgsria i of sa hntik to awmon a ma taht. To oerm aehngict fi skcu a bi;t oyu teh tlteli em will neloso" atiepnt istll bnieg leif og tatpeni nretec be to tel seetvn era i tub at "ensrig adn. .
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Ttah dare heop nad oehstr mstseevehl in ees shit fo sratp siht i anc. Ym reew sa ifev eosm tteler lotsmy leif rsae;y gwtroh rweot smlato a i my rdmoivpe dna cneis eeprndieecx tisme iesnemm sftri ubt nsagceh avytls 'iev -r2yeold2-a sha icuffltid in. Uto yaw fo s'ti ym tthgohu aecm nda uldow apnl i how it fnynu oenn uret and lfie otu soerpcnditi )ew(hw! to ohest noe taendw amlsot payl. .

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