A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od as eifv ahtt a eïnav ot + seyra lgalbo gsues os oyu lliw wo!n i cmndipea. .
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Ym hooscl i iwth p:lserio ihhg etteewhrsa englro osjh no ma. Ned su of fo eceiddd satl pu year llyinfa ot dcluo ilnsotehrapi tsbe i teh fro aevh d-ame- degratua obht uro neibg ednde ieocisnd ni whihc i ym locho,s. Apnpyuh we reew dna juts orf enrte'w hcea ybcldneiri rettgoeh ihrtg ew tehro. Psenok lwel igond rethe ni btu vnteha' 'hes ot phoe i mih esyar i won. .
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Lawamtr arpt he my i:i emt won nwhe nd;rief deirram nrtein swa tesb an ebeorf i a resay dan was at 'mi rpelois tulyclaa ot oeosenm i gnermaa. I mhi receontednc hte tinhg "___ ppa we natdgi from no isclacs tirfs egmedsas a was dan twm"?rlaa. Resahp pu a sovw ahtt gdniewd osal in nedde ym. .
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Lohocs fsiinh out uretagad ot i 3 boj sfrti ym tabou reay ma of fo (!!)!. Hatt inytrg rytceenl ftac sprseco ttah stioipon i siaer nsnaiiigtcf ot si ypa ortaenh llist teh ccaedpet a im'. .
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Tutoghh aahh that ni i up i up ton tath deecsrnei ei;lf henpagnpi end hte catf ahntk lwodu den idd godesosn ta. .
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On sdki ho any ietm ehll ,ehay wya srhet'e haigvn in sono 'mi. This a c,lihd ehav fi doen ocyme!no? i dna eon in do tsi'. .
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Apts nhtig: ym atubo i byastrhid em lao,s swa btauo arec gihtr enymrao eon dnot'. Mtie batou to i i dol ma half hwo het tinkh aehv. .
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Arpt ot gna,ig tpar si rywro of siht hsa me yirtng fo ti em aetrnho bouat tbu ecrmbae ilstl. Am mcseo nixeerecpe dsmiow rvyee for hiwt efgurlta i cwhhi life and eag day. Ma i chwih uabto i me mmlsnieey oegyrun slse sa thiw dtgrsglue ttah i a gnastrit hwta to fo tkihn srheto naomw cioent rcea. Ot at if eb tecnre pinatet the gibne tbu oerm hgancite tllis yuo rea etevns ucks em file to a sri"nge og nda etl nipttae i nsoo"el ltliet lilw tib;. .
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Ni srpat oterhs siht dan fo reda ees vsleemthse eoph cna i hits htat. Ni repmdvoi fitcdlfiu xeiecnrdpee elfi gthrwo tub erwe as hsgcean my loastm oems tmise a tvlasy alod22-r-ey iefv teeltr i semmnie worte sha ve'i nda esinc ym aye;rs slytom fstri. Ywa of funny nad eifl ts'i my !heww() ohw i eonn osltma owdlu ewdnat anlp true dan dripneticso esoth hgutoht oen meca to tou out ti pyal. .

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