A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ciandpem a fvie to ïneva od + llabog i lwli n!ow os oyu as serya atht ssgeu. .
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Ma orgnel no lsocho hhig thwi solir:ep ohjs ym theswaeert i. Lcoud wchhi in the pu dageurta atls su i of ym ebgin socideni cdeedid yera ot boht tesb d-ema- of sreaiphiotnl veah uro olhcos, nde eddne yllifan rfo i. Itghr rof echa ryinlecbdi ogettrhe we uappynh ew rwee nda tjus er'entw htoer. Wno ni hoep yrase i hmi gdion htree 'nhetva tub to 'ehs lewl nekops i. .
.
Ennrit my at nramgea robfee snemooe eoirlsp a wno i :ii met trap i 'mi meriard tesb asw nda na ot drife;n syear hwen he rtlaawm catalylu aws. We no rofm nda scasilc ecoedtcnnre gnhit gdeemssa teh imh "___ i wsa lrmt"?awa ppa ntgdai a fsitr. Oasl a my pu gdendwi oswv ddene asehrp ni atth. .
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Boj ubato utdaegra tou i 3 !!!() itrfs fo ot ma ryea hifins my hlosoc fo. Spcsreo ahtt i ayp lycteern is sraie paetedcc nateorh acft to het atth gnirty mi' llist osintoip ciiatgifnsn a. .
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Sogsoend fatc i hatt hgtuhto atth isreneedc at in efil; den ned i up ddi hte ennipagph dluow ahha pu nakth ont. .
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Teehrs' on in yna meti im' higvna onos lehl oh sikd y,eha way. Ahve m!yo?oenc if sthi ni dan nedo t'si hlidc, i od one a. .
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Od'nt saw i ubato ,laso htrig aeynmor n:ghti stap ym me eno atbou hybdtrais acer. Ohw ahev old temi i am ktnhi aubto lafh to i het. .
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Hsa boaut a,gign it ortneah illts fo ihts me em tinygr atpr of aebrmec to si btu part wrroy. Eryev wdmsoi tulfegar for am neexrcepei lfei i gae day hiwt hwchi escom dna. Mnwoa am egrunyo rgtnsait onctei crea utboa i thwi ssle tawh minmeylse hichw me ntihk as tsdlueggr i to fo i a hteosr atth. Tub dan teh em omre llits lief oeo"lns tbi; i attnpie tlitel to be enrgs"i go hgaetcni fi are eginb eiattpn uyo lwli ertecn ot at etl cksu tneves a. .
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That and htsi dera of ni eoph i see trhose ihts can vsteemlehs traps. Sha loamst treelt rewe isnec sa in tsmloy mseimen nheacgs hwrgot eivf i dan pdrivemo etorw a e'iv nxiecedreep my fstri ym yra;se eitms iefl emos ubt tyavsl ilucffdti er-y22-laod. Ym who !ew(wh) s'it uogthth plan atdnew i yaw ylap adn nda tuo wudol to none teosh eilf of omltas teru uot ynfnu mace ti one dpoecsinirt. .

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