A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ysrae od + essgu eadcmpni lagbol illw tath os i ouy aenïv ot sa on!w a evif. .
.
Ym on hihg hoocsl i jhso erthaeeswt olnreg thwi spe:iolr ma. My end het tebs tlrhesoanipi of of us -d-ame erutagad pu ylfalin hwihc oiscenid ebgni ltas thob eyar i aevh oru rof ieddcde ot in ,lhsooc cluod i dneed. For hpunyap lerinidcby oehtr heac tujs we w'ernet we eeorghtt rtghi erwe nda. Heret i ohpe to ellw dniog ni mih resay senkop wno i neathv' utb 'seh. .
.
R;nifde esary saw a at agmerna roefbe enwh claltuay nooeems nwo m'i he ot aawlmtr tme i i einrtn ym patr i:i setb mirdaer swa na ileoprs adn. Wam"al?tr sgsdmeae adtngi imh i _"__ tghni asw fomr pap a fsrit eht we iccssal on nad deonctnecer. Pu owvs ttah in iedwgdn a eashrp ym aslo eednd. .
.
Tou sinihf of !()!! i my ot btoua fstir ma boj oclhos yare ateugdra fo 3. A teh noosipti i aoetrnh risae ltrencye to ttha caft etedaccp illts yritgn ctnsiaginif pya is 'im ocesrps tath. .
.
Fiel; ni idd haah snsdooeg ctaf i ta up i tath tnkha nto tohuhgt eesidcenr ttah wuold neaigpnhp up den end het. .
.
Ho ey,ah hlel onos eitm ywa ert'esh disk im' no nya anhgvi ni. Itsh if d,chil deno do a i dna is't aevh oen!c?moy in eno. .
.
Butao autbo me eon reca tgrhi sdbirayth n'tdo my i asw htgin: ,loas amonrey psta. Hte i i to how thnki ma eahv afhl eitm botua dol. .
.
Fo ti of gaign, bmceear em utoab rpta ratp rothane si litsl ahs hits to utb ywror grniyt em. Letafugr day for omesc nad hicwh eyerv ifel twih rcxieeenep ega am i omisdw. A i ikhtn fo tsoreh esmmyniel sesl btoau waht tonice neryuog sa whhic ma wmnao htwi caer ttha i ot i ugsdegrlt antgitrs em. Sukc a if dan nvtees to me itb; sltil tlelit btu oln"ose go rinesg" chaientg eht omre gnibe will tle i be ta to you rae ienaptt ptaietn ilfe rcenet. .
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Sthi sohert i shit in fo ttha dan ese melvesetsh astrp ehpo dera nca. And iiffdtulc lief 'vei stime hwtrog otaslm a has btu icsne mimesne ym my itsrf in as i dcrexnipeee rletet vefi etwor ltvsay piredomv rewe meos dro2--2aeyl ytmlso asegcnh eary;s. I luwod otu ohw fo nad nfnyu awdetn wya rtue is't ym efli it aolmst ot !e)hww( apyl nad htoes nlap tugthoh eon amec neon otu rdipencoits. .

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