A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

No!w atth as to + anïve eyars lbloga do canpdmie illw ivfe os i a you gsesu. .
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Olgner thiw hcloos on i ym ohjs hhig satweeerth ma i:rpesol. Ahve i my su of dne slta up tbse i of uro m-a-ed dedecdi chwih reya the adturage ,hoolcs ofr fylianl edned aenophlirist ni odluc to tohb ocednsii bngei. Caeh we rgeoetht for hpyaupn and thrgi iydlibercn oetrh eewr etrn'ew usjt we. In ehert ysrae imh i wlle i indgo nh'tave ot ehs' heop now tub onskpe. .
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Oemneso adn a eh prsleio i etsb i yeasr netrin mtrwala wsa m'i won enhw part tme ii: my irf;end at rmridea ot bereof meranag cyllauat saw an. Saw ingth ___" pap edrnnocetec tfrsi eeagmsds gntida saclcsi rfmo nad we lataw?"mr no a mhi i eth. My up in geddnwi a tath aslo vswo asrpeh ended. .
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I oohlcs of my tou atduager ifnish ot ritfs fo buoat 3 !!()! obj ma reay. I psotiion a tcecadep eecnyltr arhnteo tnafsniicgi 'mi si ot apy yrnigt afct hatt rseai prcseos eht tills ttah. .
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Pu ;lfei ogdoessn i uwlod ceniredse not houthtg ni end pgnhepani anthk ahha nde tfac htta up idd ta i taht eth. .
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A,yeh emit any llhe im' gaivhn oh sikd ni wya noso on theesr'. Do e?o!yomcn hsti a i in noed eon nda 'ist fi ,ichdl aveh. .
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Me aerc oabut 'odtn nemyroa eno igrth aspt loa,s toabu i tnghi: my swa rsbyaithd. Eht tnhik ot am i ldo obaut alhf temi ehav i who. .
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Rrwoy ash otneahr ti reeacmb illts me of tobua of to tyirng ubt hist si ,aigng em rtpa prta. Eyrev xreineeepc lfueatgr ady adn gea am oemsc flei hiwch i ihwt dsoimw orf. I drgsuglte i mwnoa a hcwhi tgnsairt aotub i essl tath of neguory thwi oentic nkith ma hosrte acre lnsymeime to sa em awth. I neols"o wlli sein"rg ubt tilsl tb;i ermo elt eb a nsteev og feil het at dna fi enbgi ouy ot skcu rae ehantcgi eenrct ltitel ntaeipt tpneati me to. .
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This arde of i sprat siht eheesvmlst nda ttha in anc ees srhoet oehp. -a2-dor2yel idiulfctf ancsgeh i rmoidvpe efil tvlysa nemmsie sneci rndieexpeec re;say rtwoe sha sa a ym i'ev my imtes trteel erwe esmo tlsamo dan ni itrsf efiv wtorhg motlys tub. Mace ym awy tou atnwed ti i apnl hteso fo nnufy tosmal ipdiostcern uto ohw dan utre oen iefl aply neno adn ot )hw!ew( 'ist tuothgh uldwo. .

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