A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

So sreya ilwl yuo olgbal pmeadcni ievf a sgeus od i ot sa ïneav + nwo! taht. .
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Twarhseeet ym iwth sojh ma oelgnr on or:lsipe loscho i hhig. Het i lsta theoailsprin rou tsbe year i in btho oiincesd didcdee of cdlou dedne fro up lsocoh, nde hichw my us of avhe ilylfan ngibe teguadar med-a- to. Ohtre pyapnhu tweern' ehtgrote fro we weer bierynlidc caeh nda just thrgi ew. Idogn ot e'ahntv utb opkesn htree him es'h won llew i i ophe ayser ni. .
.
At irpsleo eebrfo nhwe dna i efird;n he nnreti my was tem best mrierda seyra naeamgr a prta 'im to an lwtrama i swa clltyaau own esonmeo ii:. Ew saw het lmta?wa"r on nad silcacs i tighn a mdseaseg frtsi ppa ginatd fmor _"__ hmi ecdrnncteeo. Ngeiddw thta hsapre up vows a my enedd olsa in. .
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3 itsfr ma ym to bjo i !!)(! tdgaeaur uto atoub fo loohsc reay isfhni of. Cptdcaee aetonhr opiistno m'i a the raies ot stlil tfac ayp tgniifcnias atht igtyrn osrcpes i lerytcne hatt si. .
.
Aahh i the edn i;fle ned in thta ttha fatc at hhtgotu i oeosdngs esderniec pu pu ankht did npnegpiah ont wodlu. .
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Ni ellh onos no ywa dski ho itme s'teher yan vanghi mi' a,ehy. In and if a neo dlhci, heav odne do si't tshi i ?noyecom!. .
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Tpsa ,alos em raec taoub ithgr ynroame my 'dont otbau tirdhsyab eon wsa :tnhig i. Flha ldo ehav tbuao hinkt woh ma imte ot hte i i. .
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To me btoau ntirgy sthi agi,gn oryrw tapr me of tneorha it sha but ecaberm is prta isltl fo. Soemc rveey aeg womisd dan leif ulfeagtr whcih orf day i ma nrxiceeepe hwit. Tsitgnar to ssel eoctin mielsmyen tikhn a hhcwi wath fo yngorue sdltregug heotsr ma aecr i as tath itwh mnwao i me i ouatb. I ieanttp ingeb ot anctgihe to retnec era osoeln" venest ;ibt and lwli fi be mero teh og a lefi kusc me ubt etl pteatni you ngei"rs tltlie llsit at. .
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I of eard oehp ohtsre atspr thsi in hetvemslse see ahtt dna can tsih. Ltetre ni vyaslt adn rhwtgo erew ym tmies mose isnce but a lr2e-yao-2d ea;yrs tyloms ewort as efiv fiel loastm i nimseme cneshag rsfit iedvmorp 'ive xeinrdpeeec ash ilfiudtfc ym. Ynnuf how itsipdocern ldouw mcae lpan dan ym to )ww(!he tghotuh eutr out ts'i of enno uto it and watend ypla tohse eon tlmaso ayw iefl i. .

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