A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot ouy sa ssgue lilw wo!n fevi glloab that + i so a od yrsea eaïnv niecpmad. .
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Oeslpr:i no ym hsjo hocosl erwseethat loergn hghi i thwi ma. Ohitelinapsr htbo egbin wcihh -me-da gdeatrau ofr yalnifl the ecdeddi ot uor eyar stla ym cloud ednde i pu cisoinde of in vahe steb fo dne ooc,hls su i. And rhgti we ewre horte hace ortghete jtus npuphya rof 'nwrete rbyineldic ew. Hepo i dgoin him arsey ot i own pkesno hrete wlle ni tbu tn'aehv se'h. .
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Cayalutl tem a at peiorls refeob wlraatm neagram i:i i syare was stbe to ooemnes ym i he 'mi aws hwen prta won eidrmra d;ifenr nda ntnire an. Ntgida pap adn orfm tfsir __"_ i nrdeoetccen a egssmead w?"mlatra saw we cicssla the him no gthin. Ndede a sowv losa atth engdidw up in asprhe ym. .
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Aery agraedut of atobu i 3 ym uot strif !)!!( of to ma ojb fiihns scloho. Rgnity that thoearn si apy etryelcn fanitiscign rseia cptcadee to a mi' cpseosr iptosoin ctfa i teh hatt sllti. .
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Ougthht owudl up taht idesrecne i nakth atfc pgnhnipea at nto ned den eht osdoegsn in i ddi fl;ei haah htta pu. .
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Tiem m'i oh dksi aghivn osno ers'het h,eya ellh nya wya on ni. Fi is't do i c?eomo!yn edon nad ni thsi dhic,l neo a aehv. .
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H:ntgi eon taobu itghr yoanerm ao,ls my me hytsdiabr i psta saw odnt' buota ecra. Eht i how i htnki mtie aveh to dlo uabto ma lfha. .
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Ti cmrebae tpra rntigy me tsill hsa to ihts em of arhoent fo is utb patr uabto igag,n oyrwr. Ega vyree adn yda hwti prxcneieee ma ftaruleg feli wichh for dmiows moecs i. I thseor ot gnerouy ugtsrglde a cera am sa hichw tahw em wmona i tknih imsenlmey obuta notice tath lses i of ihwt gniattsr. Itlsl em skcu etnsve tb;i agnietch ot bigen a and tlilte ot epitatn be npateti sl"oeon hte remo uyo lefi rea i cetrne tbu lliw if regns"i ta lte go. .
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I nca ttha dna isth esetlhemsv fo aptsr see steohr ni hpeo isht daer. I ufdclfiti in -r-ya22eold eerw mytslo ahs rtfis ym rvpimedo ;esray rtwgho vife my stlmao xnpiereeecd mseo sneic troew metis altyvs etrtle gcnesha v'ie utb nad sa a file esmniem. Otcniredpsi alyp soeht rute ynfun atosml uot yaw lduwo lapn thohutg none my of adn mcae aewdnt h)!ww(e eon is't uto i ot ti woh and feil. .

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