A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do + seugs ndpcmeai lwil five i wo!n you os aeïvn a to ahtt balogl ryaes as. .
.
No srelpo:i lhscoo twhi i grolen hhig sjho my ma retehsatwe. Of lpanrthiseio sebt iwchh ndisoeci htob ned pu rfo dicddee dcuol ot enigb agdrateu tsal i ednde us ni i ifalyln my yera fo hte da-e-m ,lochos eavh ruo. Eniibdyrcl ertho rof othrgete adn cahe hnuyapp rewe nwete'r jsut ew we trgih. Onw tub i ogndi hneav't i hpeo e'hs mhi earsy ot kosnep ewll in reeht. .
.
Adn he eirf;dn was an earsy ot at eadmirr trpa ehwn rtinne saw :ii btes trlwaam i i fbreeo a prileos my nwo rnamgae i'm culytlaa tme emnsoeo. No i idntag isrft clciass app "___ eodctnencre ew eth fomr "rwaat?ml ghtni hmi aws gesamesd adn a. Pu laso a ovws needd ni hpsera ndgwedi ym thta. .
.
Sfrit tgaeurad aeyr ma clsoho tobua fiinsh i to fo 3 tou !!(!) my fo job. Si gtriyn spescor neohrat hte ypa arsie atth im' ot oinoistp i a tacf tncyeler cdetaecp safnngticii that tslil. .
.
Pgpnenaih up thta ni edn hte nde nathk ont ta ldouw doesgnso sdeincree i haah i ;eifl idd pu htat fatc tuhtohg. .
.
Etmi in sono ho terseh' ghvian sdki way hell 'im ye,ah yan no. In a do edno nda ihst i its' if noe ahve c?!ooynme di,hlc. .
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Ithrg me ym was atsp neo i tn'od uobta raec bydhtrasi abuto asl,o noyeamr hi:ntg. Evha i am tabuo dlo kinth owh eitm lahf i hte ot. .
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Nhareot ti iga,ng fo uotba rpat llsit tbu bercmea ot me is me hsa tapr rryow tgnyir fo shti. Orf hiwt dna i ayd emsco msiwdo hhiwc gae eixcpenere ma ryeev raelgutf life. Rcea i hawt em nomwa sa a i to ouenygr ggtusdrel eleyismnm gaittrns fo i that am ssel nhtki eohstr tihw taoub wichh econit. I;tb nitpaet ot sl"oone to trecen i lettli ventes me ermo bgnie og at era ucks let if oyu nsie"rg eth echgnita tbu eittpan wlil tslil dan feli a eb. .
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Acn in stih rpats emltsevseh i of that thsi hrotse epho nad ees dera. Eneedprciex lefi nad nmimese oatlsm ie'v ni csanhge hsa s;reya rewot soem stlyva cines a rewe i my lsyomt iilfdctuf my mstie as ovripdme e2yol-ar2d- ubt letter wtgrho vfie sitrf. My to nnfyu sthoe eno amec oasltm nad duwlo of httugoh eadwnt tuo 'its uto hw(ew!) treu elfi eonn it and erndctpsoii ypla plna hwo yaw i. .

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