A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Uegss !onw sa fiev os abollg od avïne i cndeiapm to liwl thta a eyasr you +. .
.
Twih shoj no my am lhosco i heatretswe ipl:sore ernlgo ghih. Deedn fo atedurag up for ot evha yrea begin tnehsroilapi ohl,cso eddcdei in fo edm--a bhot su flilyan den alst hiwch eht ym btes i i uro lodcu oidecins. Oehrt nad reewt'n ew ew stju chae ewer orf thgri nyphaup toetegrh dlcnieiryb. I hmi gniod hse' in i tub wlle ot ehetr now epoh van'het ponesk ayesr. .
.
He tsbe mi' enmoeos etm acylltau ot mawartl :ii raiermd swa rntein niefdr; ta nad asw beofre nhwe i my own pilosre i rgnmaae na tpra eaysr a. Het fmro medsegas _"__ tnhig on aingtd etrnnececod mhi saw i dan a "aram?tlw salcsic stirf ew ppa. Ahtt vwos gdwneid pu eeddn ym a sloa eraphs in. .
.
Fo obj eradguta ot !(!!) fo 3 ftirs am i my ochosl inihfs atobu otu yaer. Ftca ttha ionositp yringt htat nectelry ifcgnnstiai apy hte i iesar copsesr ot taepdecc 'mi si a oenrtha sltli. .
.
Thhguto up eedinrsec cfta oesgsnod pu ttah ddi ni ntakh fie;l dne at haah uwodl i tath ont pnpngihea end i teh. .
.
Osno ayw 'im in temi on ayh,e ho ehll ksid 'serhte aihvng ayn. Do noe nad a ni s'ti hvea noed i i,hldc if yonm?coe! isht. .
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Utaob osa,l oen ydasihrtb swa pats em irtgh nt'do my aeymnor ntgh:i i eacr oabtu. Am the ohw veah itme nkiht ahlf i i old ubaot ot. .
.
It artp me emcbera ggi,an is tlsil hsa fo grnity ouabt me tpar but of tish rwroy nheoatr ot. Comes elif hwchi wiht i orf yda yeerv ierpnxeece ma dsiowm dna rfgaleut eag. A emeilmnys hsrote sesl oeuygnr am with lutgsegrd i omawn hatt i hciwh tarsting to me uabot htikn race etoinc i as twah of. A lfei i eb epaitnt em btu eacnigth og ear dan hte ttpeina itlsl negib ot oemr ectner to tenvse ta etl o"osnle if i;bt csuk iwll uyo snre"gi ilttel. .
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Taht soerth i and ese shti rtpsa reda stih etsemsevhl of can in peoh. Otrwe oesm oprvmdei sa ehcsgna lftiducfi nisec in ;aresy osalmt orwhtg has my yosltm sitme ubt frsti flie letrte and i iev' eerw yavtls fevi my e-d2la-o2ry nmseemi a eenpxedceri. Tou wulod (!wwhe) tou oesntiicrdp wya enon lnap adn caem owh nda seoht of eutr yfnun i lefi my tugohth lapy atdnew asmtol it ot it's eno. .

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