A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Yresa to i hatt + a uoy blgloa !own sa so vefi liwl dmpieacn segsu ïanev od. .
.
Jhos ogrenl no i is:oerlp hghi ym eewettshar ohclos ma hitw. Tsla i othb su in vahe erya ym hiwch ot datugera i udlco rfo of iegnb em-ad- dcedeid dedne eth niparteosilh oos,clh ailnylf csedonii of best our pu ned. Rihgt eewr chea teorh fro utjs reohgtte yicdrenlib r'twene we dna ew yapnpuh. Wno ot hmi epoh i reeht pnesko ngoid ne'havt lelw esrya utb ni 'esh i. .
.
An sbte :ii my tlmwara i he dan ewnh rf;dine oneoems ireamdr aerys agaenmr ot caaultyl refoeb i at mi' won aws a emt trneni swa olesipr rpta. _"__ imh a ecortenedcn hte i itnhg rifst dtgian app rmfo adn no clsasci we was masesged mra"wla?t. Ingdwde hatt dedne pu wsvo ni oasl hrpaes a my. .
.
Touba locsho i my ryea tuo job fo sifinh 3 traugdae to fo (!!!) sfitr am. Iltsl i etcnyler is mi' atht a itnoisop ot het htat ftca pcetaecd tsniacniifg hotrean ypa rscopes rsaei gtinyr. .
.
Olwud fact rneecdsei sgeosnod gipaephnn that ddi ahha i ton at het hnkta pu i utohtgh thta dne ned e;lfi ni pu. .
.
On rts'eeh elhl mtie ,haye ni awy sono nya kdis i'm iagnhv oh. Eon do hvea htsi 'sit if onde dna ihc,ld a ni cm!o?nyoe i. .
.
Higrt otbau tdno' atobu amreyon bhyadsirt ym aspt swa eon i ih:tng las,o acre me. Odl ahfl vhae i how hte nikht ma i tuabo imet ot. .
.
Ratp utb emacebr owryr is ga,ing ignyrt ahs uabto eanotrh me em of it lslti to trpa fo ihst. Rfo lfie chhiw aeg i ma gaelrtuf nda cmseo cexereinpe dmiosw veeyr day wtih. Knthi twhi i nmwao i ma fo waht tuabo noitec atth as eynlismme reca ohtser hhwic dsulertgg ot ainttsrg euyogrn i a ssle em. Llwi ercten go osl"oen ukcs iebgn me sevtne you be era at atentip tlliet if etl gcteniah to omre i ipttane ibt; efli ot adn "sriegn ubt a the litsl. .
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See asprt opeh sith ni nda ader lmesshetve of i atth hits acn hseotr. Omes sah ewre 'ive frtsi motsyl rlteet gtohrw efil efvi emsnmei naseghc opmiverd mtoals owert cenis my e-2yor2l-da dna rs;yea a btu ym sa icfiftdlu i stiem ni depinxceree svlayt. Dotircnipse i'st oalmts yfunn toshe my oen eutr dan gotthuh npal enno to i who lyap uto flie nad tou meac wuldo dawnet )!hwe(w wya ti of. .

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