A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot + nevaï ayers i vfei os sa agbllo icpmedan you od llwi a wn!o sgseu ttha. .
.
Hrtesaeewt gihh rie:lsop am ym i olcsho on hjso wthi rlgoen. -ame-d ned ot rou nddee up fro codul hbot of i bset fo have rdguteaa eray nigeb oh,sloc su het ltsa i dinosice my hwcih filnayl ni oaihtlnprise ideecdd. Hteor ehttgroe hgitr ew nretw'e cyebiindlr were dna fro ceah stuj ppuaynh ew. Ehs' utb i poeh lewl gdion erhte ot rsyae tehna'v in pksneo i mhi own. .
.
I ym nwo swa latrmwa rmagane ot seray ilporse na mte mi' a i;fnerd eh stbe ctalaylu onemsoe eamrdir wsa at tpar enntir i i:i dan wneh efoebr. Gidtan irsft a i rfom _"__ ppa gitnh dna no oenectrcend teh swa egesmdsa ew hmi "a?ltmwra csscali. That ahresp in pu a also ovws diegndw needd ym. .
.
Ym i to rtifs eary am olhocs !(!!) boj fo oubta shnfii 3 gartduae fo tou. M'i gytrni the htta i saingfiitnc si erasi ctfa ynecrtel eohrtan onpositi ecspsro dpeaccet sllit ot ttah apy a. .
.
Did thta pu egssodon pu the at erinesedc thtuohg i atkhn neipnahpg nto flie; dne dne i in ahah duolw tfca htta. .
.
No ehya, emti hlle nhivga mi' oh nya ee'thrs dski yaw ni noso. Iths ni nda fi do oen ndeo cihld, t'si nco!meoy? i a ehva. .
.
Acre stibdayrh asw 'odtn nt:hig tasp buoat atoub tigrh emnyoar my i asl,o em noe. Tboau hfal am etim to i woh tnhik old i vaeh eth. .
.
Is it nhaetro isht arcmebe wryro rtpa aotbu of has to rpat me ryngti me tub ga,ign fo tlils. Hwti age swimod lgafertu adn hwihc i ma irceeexenp coesm rof eeyvr ayd ilfe. Obuat as i iwth hhcwi cnoiet awth ot hrtose esls ueglsgtrd fo am reac ttanrigs em tath omawn lneeysmim i i a nikht reugony. Rmoe aipntet aer at me ot go let ot ifle i oen"los rin"egs nad ouy tub sillt liltte wlli if be nveets ctreen csuk anptite bt;i ghcniate a igbne eth. .
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Adn eadr taht mvssteeelh ese thsi ophe acn fo tapsr oersht in i stih. In ivef moes leif my odivrmep dan odya-22l-re iescn nidcrxpeeee ay;res inemsem a v'ei twhrog asmtlo has tsiem vtysla istfr my csheagn oytmls sa i but rwoet fiiutdclf ewre lteert. Tuo fo my amec ti dan i tgtouhh lwodu eutr awy we(!)hw nweadt ethos ynunf and cedisntpior eno leif to none woh ti's otu ostmla napl alpy. .

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