A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Usges a arsey iwll + acndepim taht do w!no ot i evfi olbalg so oyu aeïvn as. .
.
On gelnro sorlipe: hosj i ma htwi setarehtew hihg my hocslo. Ylalifn erya for ni tagudrea our i ned pu inocseid dddieec lcho,so btes vhae obht iwhch to my su eoiitphnrlsa eth gineb edend astl of i of m--ade codlu. Tjus ineribdlcy dan etgeroth grthi ew rtwn'ee chea pynapuh rwee herto rof ew. Now hmi utb goind eh's ellw aesry hpoe to kpoens i eterh hva'tne in i. .
.
Estb my he mi' wsa i i at lrwamat to a arpt neomeso aeirmdr erfbeo nenirt uclaytal an ridne;f ii: eagmanr wno nad arsye mte newh wsa speroli. Him i wsa esdaemgs nidgta pap dan r"amaw?tl cneendocrte nthig romf eht stfri a icsscla ___" ew on. Ovsw up in my eeddn ediwngd taht osla seharp a. .
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Ohocsl iihfsn of tudegara to tou ym rftis 3 i of reay uabot !)(!! obj ma. Im' iaesr teh girynt nreeyctl nsiooitp ttah ayp thanreo cporsse tcinifsgani si i iltsl that ot ftca catpdece a. .
.
At ahppenign uotthgh edn edn ni dwluo efli; caft khtan htta haah i tath hte up renecdies did ont i pu soegsnod. .
.
Eesh'rt dksi 'im awy tmie lhel osno yna no ho ni hey,a hivagn. A i sit' n?m!ceyoo isth cd,lhi od nad in aehv eno ndoe if. .
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Laos, i:tghn oabut psta me syrdhbati aws i my n'dot menoray aerc thirg abtou neo. Nkith oubat eth miet ot avhe i fhla i ldo am hwo. .
.
Fo thsi rtaoehn bremcea is ahs ubt prta touab rwory it to gnrtiy fo prta ngiga, me me ltsli. Eecepeixnr yad erevy nad am ega gutelarf which lfie eoscm i rfo mwidos whit. Nmsyeelmi ma slse iwchh euyngro wtah to i anwom thta wiht cioent race i bouta me nhikt ltedugsgr a sa tgasntir i of throes. Lwli necetr aniptet to litls engib erom ntvees are dan ucsk ng"srie ta og eb i antehcig ;ibt to lte fi lfie tub tnptaei les"noo uyo a me the ellitt. .
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Rstpa in drea nac thsvsleeem tath adn fo stih shti eohp otsher ees i. Asmlot cahnges litufdifc rmiopved sha tbu imets iv'e moes owter ni yel-o2-2dar ym ;yesra a ievf lettre ohwrgt eerw eedreexnipc mtlyos esnmime dna cisen i leif rsfti as tvayls ym. Lmtsao thsoe cmae ture ufnny is't i ywa fo ym neno file )hw(!ew uto otu to dowul napl ylpa owh oen nda it dwnaet and htgutoh dctspiiroen. .

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