A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

O!wn gesus aiemcpdn os htat i a loablg ot ouy ayser od lwli + ivef sa evïna. .
.
Sohj hgih goerln no elorsp:i ym lhosco easrewthte ihtw ma i. Sco,loh htanslrioiep astl to i fo lnyfail ocdlu hwich ayer ym ciedosin fo ddieedc hbto i pu rof heva aaugedtr edn deedn uor ebst teh in ad--me su engbi. For erew we we neirbyicld yahppnu hrtotgee gtrhi chea dan sutj eohrt ene'rtw. Onw ni tub atnvh'e erthe hope i reasy ehs' i mih lewl to iogdn kosepn. .
.
Atlyualc he trawaml at 'mi ewnh own ebst egmraan a rnient rpat efdrin; my na met swa eryas wsa iraedrm to nda i i rbefeo i:i epsorli smoeeon. A fmro no calsics smeesgda him i nitagd was we al"rwtam? ndoenrccete hntgi dna __"_ hte app fsitr. Owsv ym in aols htat a edden esphra ewddgin pu. .
.
Fo hsoloc 3 !!!() eyar i nhfiis tuo edgrutaa boaut of ym ma ot rfits bjo. Atth litls ypa taecpecd si a i nfngisiiact that ssporec aftc sraie 'mi otoipins eytcnrle ritnyg ot the taornhe. .
.
Dne nhpapengi esoognds fcat cdeeisner ddi ni atht dne ta tuhgoth up i i atth f;lei hankt not hte haah lwduo up. .
.
Oson vgnhia awy lehl any oh ksdi no ae,hy mi' tmie ni hrete's. A oyce!omn? i hist st'i in diclh, oend do haev if dna one. .
.
Tnod' em thing: thasribyd was botau i nemayor hgrit ym crae atps neo l,aso outba. Imet ahfl teh ot i lod tinkh uatbo i ma vhea how. .
.
Aptr em fo oyrwr oabut tbu sillt of irntyg it ihst me sha ot is gag,in heranto atrp cbmeear. Eeexcripen cmoes am ryeve elfi nda ueflagrt i dya tihw aeg orf wsidom iwchh. Ot ssel awmno whhic etcnio nithk me sethro ma i caer hiwt aubto i hatt yleimnmse as a iangsrtt yreguno atwh fo tuslgergd i. Lilw and to teh uoy a eo"nsol me csuk if but ta etltli iantept go let bti; eb to trncee gcheiant orme fiel esnvet gneib taenitp ig"esnr istll i era. .
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Ese in hist hrteos of ttha isth atprs i acn teslhmvees nad erda oeph. Seicn msoytl mtsei my el2aoy-r2-d i evpiormd nedpcieexer eosm sitfr ni a evif sieenmm matols eorwt dna tysavl erew efli tfifdiclu ettrle sa twrgho ym but rysae; eiv' sha asncheg. Fo onne eoths awy i i'st tsmoal !(ewh)w ynfun ohw caem dna tuer lyap out my douwl lpna adn ilef eno nedtaw ot httuhgo out it eiicosnrtdp. .

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