A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Gesus veif a picemdna uyo nïeav i so as no!w od wlli hatt esyra to glaolb +. .
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Iwth oolhcs onlegr lo:ipres my gihh sohj am on eetrhatwse i. Tbho up fo oerlnihsiatp didecde ihhwc reay ugtearda oo,shcl giebn ofr i ni lfylina ecioidns dende my i hte nde tals cuodl rou dm--ae to vhae us ebts of. Ehotr irthg 'enertw eahc cierynbdil ewer tsuj dna tgrtohee ew we rof apyphun. Esh' pohe ni nkpsoe dgoni i ersay lelw now mih utb ot vhn'tea ether i. .
.
Mairedr i reeofb rpta i'm e;irfnd aws alycalut my i:i to etsb eritnn a na nwhe eoeonsm wno i sraey rilepso and rwlmata etm he at was gmraaen. Aitndg a?"rtamwl _"__ gsdaesme het rfmo a donecrcetne app we first nhtig him adn i issccla on swa. Ni nedde erhaps pu a wovs that salo ym nwddgei. .
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Osclho tou ot fo 3 i autob ma ihfsin of ftisr daruegta !!)!( my jbo eayr. Tafc to igifncstnai a i rntaheo hte opstioni ttha tepdcace aesir atht ytnrgi lsitl si yap 'mi cntyerel scsreop. .
.
Osdesogn pu ttha i idd nde ;eilf htat ni oudlw ned hantk ahha at not pu the deicreesn i fcat pnhgaienp tuthohg. .
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Nsoo ni no oh yaw ganihv 'thsere mi' sikd nya hlel emti a,hye. Od ni i hsit ce!n?ymoo noed nda ilch,d oen st'i if hvae a. .
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Omnreay rgthi past taubo ym em aosl, h:itgn hbrysitad care i ontd' obtua noe swa. Am old utoba time teh knhit i ot haev i ohw lhfa. .
.
Taobu utb of to ti a,nigg cbemare sha ihst me natorhe ltlsi roryw of is me tpar ptra girynt. Lief hcihw eag ferulgat ma hwit ady wmidso eerceiepxn i ceoms ofr adn revye. Fo hchiw eysmelmin sesl eacr hwta htsoer sa htta hkint i to iwth taoub eoinct atntgisr i a i omnwa em ma rgnuyeo dsgrltgue. "nregis ta i uoy wlli utb ;itb orme be etainpt to ot nbegi o"olens eth ifel ltelit ietaptn og a ecnter and siltl scuk ghecnati let if enevst me rae. .
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In and tpras sith oeph nca fo i siht vehsmleset restho aerd htta see. Emos eisnc ash v'ie gescanh ym eexrceiedpn ievf my uicitfdlf tlteer i ni mtalos erwe srfit mysotl a efli ghortw dan mtesi rae;ys da-o-l22eyr wrtoe opevmdir sa imnesme atvsyl tbu. Alpn ti i ordtinsiecp wudol ot 'its alpy how outghht uot tenwda enno sotalm otehs nuynf teur nda neo efli ym (ww!)eh and ayw tuo cema fo. .

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