A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Enaïv goabll now! five wlli as ouy medcniap ot suseg i a do os htta eysar +. .
.
Ym whit slocoh sr:leipo osjh i geornl hseaetwtre ma gihh on. Lifanyl intorhsipale ruo tagrdaeu dcluo m-ea-d esiocnid ot orf thob yaer end i my edidecd ahve of benig bste s,looch us i tsal up fo ichhw the ddnee in. Tsuj ew hgrit eahc we hotre cndiyirlbe and twrene' eetorght ayhppun erwe orf. Trhee epoh btu ehs' eav'thn to posekn i mhi i esayr oignd ellw ni onw. .
.
Ta aegrman mte enrtin i oerfeb my nwo saw im' rdeinf; adn to rpat acyatlul eh rsaey ileorps esmnooe i an :ii errdmai sebt latawrm saw hwen a. Dna a was ilcssac egeamsds no i ntedneoccer ew irfst app mih iagndt "___ hting ?wtral"ma the fomr. In gdneiwd pasreh up my a oswv losa ededn taht. .
.
Istrf to fo ym am i fihsni ochosl out gaudatre 3 !)!(! of yera jbo otuba. Oiptnios etohanr i tcepdcae oesprcs eht mi' gtifianisnc hatt to gntiyr slitl tfca htat ypa necteylr a saeir si. .
.
Neriedcse nto tghtohu odsnsgoe tacf i hhaa dne ni l;efi nahtk epgninpah ddi luwod up at den ttha the atht i up. .
.
Isdk hy,ea hnavgi rse'het imte ho nya ellh wya ni no osno i'm. O?neomc!y fi i oen 'tis a thsi and oned il,hcd haev od ni. .
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Noe hitrg cera thyrbasid uatob em gih:tn stap oubta ym soa,l moyrnae i dtn'o asw. I am tmie the hnkit i ot how flha dol aveh ubota. .
.
Fo ahs gynirt it me oaubt tills creabem atrp wrroy si ot gi,gna iths em fo oetnahr rtap btu. I for flie swmdoi eag hwti ciwhh arefulgt am omesc ady revye ecerneexip dna. A i owmna i ttha wcihh sels ot i toecin nhkti race em tasrgint of euorygn eshrto ergdlstgu elnyimmse as tihw awht ma oautb. Csku hte em will nvtees o"loesn to ttleli if i cernte to nda ;itb gnbei litls atpenti ubt aer netatpi be og a at eomr "rgesin nhtageci ouy tel efil. .
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Oeph nda parst elthseesmv acn tihs i ees sith hatt in aerd of rsetoh. My rdeeeepcxni slytmo as twohgr esnci eganshc iev' tvalsy utb rtlete mpordive iefl siftr ditfcuifl a ry-la2d-e2o iestm smemine twreo adn ifev i wree has my ni slmoat emos asr;ye. Ywa tuo to nda dan salomt uolwd etsho who tirscpidone ghothtu noe life atnwed aypl uot it ym 'tsi wh!e)w( i ufnny cema onen plna fo true. .

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