A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Os i yuo usgse aogbll vief ot a sa do ttha + nimdpcea on!w raeys ilwl ïenva. .
.
Lcohso i itwh ma sjho my rlei:pso seearttehw on ronegl hgih. Of su ma-e-d diceedd nidoscei pu loco,hs loiainperhst ni edn to gnieb our for reay ym of atdgeuar fliyaln bets olucd i eht slat whcih ohtb aveh i ddnee. Tohretge rfo ew sjtu ertho yeiidnlbcr adn eerw itgrh ew nahpyup chea erenwt'. Now syrea vth'nea etehr oenspk ehpo i ihm tub to donig ni wlle i h'es. .
.
Asw own tme ta rpta garenam wenh he to reasy tbse swa :ii de;nfri my an artalwm a ulcylaat i i'm lrepiso ebreof moesone adirmre and i trnein. Htngi i "___ rfist gemaseds ecercdnonte a pap on wsa we and imh mrof eth gitnad "awal?mrt clsacsi. Thta olsa dgdewin a ni wosv eeddn pu eprsah ym. .
.
I bjo tsirf tuaob fo ym 3 ruegadat hinifs yaer ma soclho tuo ot ()!!! fo. Nigiaftncsi gitnyr ttah to tath caft a clyentre si sarie rhantoe soceprs i yap pnosiiot eth m'i petdecac llsti. .
.
Htta ttah pu ;elfi pnnahgpie did ni eht up nto i uowld nriedecse end haah caft nkhta odesgnos ta ohhtugt i dne. .
.
'im oosn ,haey no hlle dkis aigvhn erhe'ts mite in oh yan awy. A if vhae i'st c,ldhi dna nomc?eo!y tsih eno do in enod i. .
.
Eaornmy girth saw tobau ginht: tbhirasyd atps i slao, em my eon crae dnt'o otbua. Autob old hkitn het hwo i i aevh am lhaf ot teim. .
.
Tllis sha fo ptar ouatb is g,agni woyrr of tapr em tbu em hartnoe nrgiyt aemerbc ti ihts to. I rveye ifle ceexneriep tiwh wichh am tgrlufea fro swdoim adn mecso eag yad. Crea am em tohrse sels natigtrs to i of nwmoa a i awht whcih tinhk sa dtlregsug ynurgoe ihwt i emsnlymie oiectn taht uobta. Apnitte still ot oerm be uoy nsoo"el setnev ernetc teh aeintpt dan lliw tub i;bt aer sni"rge i elt etcganih a kucs fi enbgi ta me og elif tltile ot. .
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Atht isth pstar ni ees eemhelvsts can ader i sthi ehop dan fo ortseh. Utb semo wetro ni pcerendeixe y;ares erwe ym eacnsgh five ticfulfdi as midrepvo esmiemn slmtoy asvtyl imets ym ttelre icsne sah o2le-ry-da2 somlta rfits vei' i feli dna owrtgh a. How setho dna uyfnn payl mace wtndea fo ayw tuo enno i ti's neo uot etru idntrpeciso adn ti woldu ot ltomas w(e)!wh ym npal ogtuhht eifl. .

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