A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Eivf lwil os dimncape a oyu eyrsa do + gaollb i sa w!no eguss anïve ot thta. .
.
Htiw i nlgoer ma rpiloes: seatethewr osjh no sochlo hhgi ym. Ym aeyr fo hvea ebngi boht deedn i pu a-emd- ni ecddide stla us aeadgtur i ehiriapstnlo to for teh estb dinoeics ,hlsooc hchwi lduoc aniflly of uor edn. Rfo usjt eewr thgir hotre 'tnerew hunyapp ahce trghotee clniyebdir we dan we. Peoh own but him gdoin in i ereth i pseokn ysare tnhva'e ellw 'seh ot. .
.
Saw a prat sarye nad eamagrn i ym eh to :ii nintre ta i tbse ewnh rraimed altwmra tem na aucayllt ;deifrn wsa polreis onw onesemo i'm ebfoer. T"a?rlwam i rfmo rcoctendnee mhi asw and ngaidt ghint acicssl medsages ew no ritfs a ___" pap teh. Ndede eidgwnd aphesr a up in wvso my asol ttah. .
.
Ma of ryea fsnhii ot uredatag of (!!!) 3 tuo srtif taobu i colhso my bjo. Cfta ot ngityr ttah itfancngiis 'mi a nteroah ypa hte retcynel ecsrops i is atht iersa ecdpceat pnoitosi isllt. .
.
Nhtka htta ttha pngianehp elf;i ned ned ni dluow up reicedens ahah ta idd ohtught sooegnds i i ton cfta up eht. .
.
Soon igahnv m'i aey,h way oh temi ni isdk rht'ees lhel no yna. Hsti if s'it h,dicl ni ahev eodn nad i a one do yemcono?!. .
.
'ontd enmroya noe rtidhabsy aoubt hirgt aws raec ym me i tn:igh aspt btoua as,lo. Eth bouta i tmie am dlo kinth i fhal heav hwo ot. .
.
Oautb lilst i,aggn tngryi ahs si onerath eermcba tpar ti prta fo of to roryw this btu em me. Am ofr age fgeratlu chhiw with yad osemc yvree nieexcpeer i eifl nda miwosd. A cwhhi abuto to am tath sa twah ggdtrules ntikh erac twih ioentc mnawo uyornge em i seotrh i ssel of isgtnart immenelys i. Onoel"s eevsnt illw nceret skuc but etitll a i fi eb uyo bgien dna em ear ot taegchni ntpatie leif tel eth ot ltlis ieanptt bt;i emor "resign at og. .
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Siht cna dan aptrs sthi ni i eseetmshvl of ees ohtres hepo tath daer. Imvrdeop as saotlm ym ym l2ea-oyrd-2 lfei xpeeecdiren ewrto ei'v a nda orhgtw sfitr ash in vfei r;ysae yvtlsa oyltms iftcifdul nhgsaec utb emtsi i ewer nmemesi letetr omse insce. It adn ewdnat ot ceam one tuo edntscpiroi toshe uthohgt yunnf wya plan ist' of tslamo rteu ym wloud tou onen nad ()wew!h lpya i lfei woh. .

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