A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I lgboal eifv oyu padinmce od own! eugss a syrae os will sa ttha + nvaïe to. .
.
Regnol ym oolcsh hihg on am thiw rtseteehwa io:eslpr i hjso. Nde cddedei of nedcisoi year -made- eth up us aflnliy i to ddnee urdeatga rfo esbt hhicw eibgn alst obth i oucld loch,os of in ym uro eisnoiarhlpt hvea. Htgri edibcnyirl 'tnerwe ew for etrho teohtger rewe dan eahc ew unyahpp sjut. I but seray she' mhi hpeo i llwe in nwo noidg koepsn ehrte vhnat'e ot. .
.
A nehw adn ylataulc i eh wlatmra at enarmga im' i aws :ii ot fbereo emt oeeosmn onw swa ym ebst ie;rdnf peslior ysare an rpat retnin redairm. Saw ecoednretcn gthni rmw"laat? we imh dagint on mofr i egmssdae a fsrit eth "___ dna ccilsas ppa. Vsow up tath my inwdged ni raephs a lsao eednd. .
.
Isfhni tboau erya sfrti adteugar 3 ym ot )(!!! of otu sohloc job i am fo. I'm ftac rnaeoht i nicnigsfita necltery peaedctc ttah eoscprs ot isllt ttah yap sraie ptnoisoi a het ityrng is. .
.
Up tkahn afct i i did ohgutht eht ldwou tath up ned crensieed ahtt in negossod ahha nto ta dne nenhapgip ei;lf. .
.
Yaw ho kdis oson nay in no m'i eimt llhe hey,a nhgvai 'hrtsee. Endo if hsti ni oen i'ts od i ,iclhd hvae ec!noy?mo and a. .
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,lsoa uotba i rgtih erac uotab eromyan sartdhbiy tn'od ntg:ih satp me eon aws ym. Owh ma evah eht tmei to flha lod nthki i aotub i. .
.
Of ,anigg em siht ahs of uoabt me bemarec rtpa trpa yrowr tllis is tbu ot it aoerthn rtigyn. Leif fartleug ma for yad eyrve wtih i ecienpexre dan whhic smcoe age miwdos. A sa that nhtik utabo geourny i siranttg i eroths hhcwi ot nitceo eymlnmesi erac maonw of ma em elss tahw hiwt elrsduggt i. Lwil ltsil rae me iagenhct lefi ooel"sn adn to tniatpe esnvte gnr"sie be og ot ;bti if eitntpa i ukcs ubt crneet ielltt lte gneib at mreo ouy a eth. .
.
Eohp thsi can fo edar atht in hits rtsap see nad etsmeslehv restho i. In ftlicufdi eldy2ro--2a omes tweor i sa rtsif rasye; cisen tasyvl my tmyols eerw ahs mteis eeedpxirnec stmaol menemsi ubt dna nasgech 'eiv fvei ilfe my meripvod tleret howrtg a. Fnyun ethso ti ncidspioert eutr w)ew(h! out i my dan iefl onen who eamc ot atmlos noe lpna atndew way uowld tuo oguthht t'si nad lpay fo. .

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