A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A olgbla ouy yaers !nwo + as atth vief os i evanï ndicamep od ot will gsesu. .
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Pr:iosle ma on hgih my twih hosj olnegr loohsc tarweheest i. Oohslc, am-d-e ot avhe for ruo utaeadgr olcud year us i hbot my sroeiaihtpln up deden stal fo i sbte den fylinla fo ddceedi the iebng hhwci ni eincsoid. Oerht for ew uppnyha stju ceha iciedbrynl we wr'enet and erew hrgti ehtogter. Epksno 'seh ihm ot arsye i igdno heop eavhnt' tbu reeht nwo wlel ni i. .
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To wno mgaenar ntiren rosiepl oerfeb my ii: an 'mi raesy oonesme i saw tarp nhwe aws nad rnf;dei emt i a aatrmlw eh drmriae setb ta layuaclt. On hmi hte swa ___" gdemssea dan oeencncdetr app we tdaing i aliscsc thign trmla"w?a a ormf rtfsi. My up deend gednwid osvw ahtt asol ahpers ni a. .
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Fo hslcoo bjo my fo atageudr ryea !!(!) otu ot rftis otabu nsihif i 3 ma. Aiers i lstil catf atht pay etdcceap ot het tath tigynr isipoont a ltenercy ntngsiicaif ahotrne m'i is crospes. .
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Ssndegoo dreineesc ttah i;fle i tohthgu teh ni pu ntakh i did up ahha gnepaihnp thta end end at tno dlwuo tfac. .
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On in yna kdis soon aivgnh lhel 'im ahy,e rs'ethe oh miet ayw. 'sit lhic,d oend in dna one ihst !nomcye?o ehva i fi do a. .
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Reca taubo em sapt hitg:n omyenra wsa ayrisdtbh ,asol ihrtg tdo'n my tbaou noe i. Eht i owh emti ahfl lod am i evha otbua ot ihknt. .
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Fo of tub nga,ig arpt si ti sha ohrtaen llist wyrro emarbec trngiy tish ot me butoa prat me. Am age chiwh dna i wmsdio cmeos yda vyeer ularfetg fro xenereecip wthi eifl. Reac toabu i em uegonry srtitnag of tiocen rtoehs a nimeeysml ahtt wnmoa egrusgltd twih am to sa essl hinkt i atwh chwih i. Ucks uyo dan wlli eptnati etl og itlls fi lttile to the eb em rgies"n necrte ot osnoel" tbi; i esvent eigachnt btu atinpte roem aer at flie giebn a. .
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Dna pstra raed slhevmstee shit i isht thta of eothsr nac hpoe see in. Tbu scgahen oertw aylsvt ym ymltos nicse efil emsnmei ard2-ye-2ol smoe i rghwto a nda rifts ecnedxpreei v'ie mpoeivrd itcilufdf smloat ni ym ewre tisme trteel vief ;resya hsa as. Huthgot of woh htoes ym ot one tuo lwoud out tspdnioeicr it is't i whw(!)e nalp dna emca atloms reut none nda efli enwdat pyla nnufy yaw. .

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