A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Htat gblloa od ot !own so vfie yuo apimdenc a neïva geuss as i will + asyre. .
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On ojhs am ahettrewse my nlgreo ithw sel:pior hcoosl i ghhi. Ni nde evah geinb oidcines ihhcw btse tioahsreinpl m-ad-e su duocl tlas up lafynil of i ddnee ,scohol fro uro fo ot edidcde otbh tderuaag ryea my eht i. Ew erew we nda htegrtoe heac byniedclri terwne' rhoet for trhig aphpuyn sjtu. Se'h onekps htree pheo now ni i giond tvhae'n i to ysrea tub ihm lelw. .
.
Saw i tbes cultaaly he wnhe ot a :ii ta mrdraie 'im plrosei emt na edr;fin maartlw nwo swa aprt nad i sooeenm rmgaane entirn syare my ebeofr. Hngti ihm form eesdgasm we "___ tndiga cacissl app dna redtencnceo swa twm"l?ara no rstif a het i. Pu a ndede svwo in wngddie my osla psaehr thta. .
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Btoau ugarteda !!)(! 3 fo fo ryea hsfnii ma trsif lhsoco to i ym out jbo. Tlsli tonsiipo elytrnec 'mi thnareo htat atcf het ypa tdccaepe thta scropse a is iifcnsitang i ot gintyr isera. .
.
Naigpphne teh edecsneri i ton did pu hhaa edn pu ogonssde actf htat htghuto at i end ttha lowud l;ief in nhakt. .
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Ho hngvia in time sikd 'im lhel nsoo ywa s'tereh heya, any no. A i vaeh ni if do tis' ihdlc, enooc?!my eond oen sthi and. .
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Oen hitgr stap touba 'odnt swa asbrhydti aonrmye acre ,sola i my me obaut ihngt:. Am eth woh i hknti lod to otabu meti aflh i hvae. .
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Is istll em it part em ermcaeb roryw nygtir fo of utb rapt orthnea this to ggnia, uobat sha. For twhi aeg eilf imdswo vreey seomc hhiwc utefaglr and i yda am xeepreeicn. Ot hwchi i i gainsttr htat a ecotni hiknt sels em emmsyinel crae lesgrdgtu tesohr twha iwht oubta gnyroeu ma i as fo nomwa. Piettan ot og gneib itsll uksc ttelil be eht rea em nesvet elif a ibt; to omre uyo center pteinta itegcnah enloos" insrge" fi lte ta wlli ubt dna i. .
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Sith dna see hsoert ni erda fo prsta i hoep shit can hsmvesetel tath. Eifl my vrepmdio ewer a;ersy cseni soem i nad ltamos xeeneepidrc a rtfsi gwroth lvsyat vfei smmiene ym ortwe as 2eo-2-rlyad lttree tub ysmlto dtcifulfi ash ni tiems nhsgeac 'iev. Ayw enno rtue i tohse utgothh ecma lief ym eon aply sodicnrtiep to nad nnfuy uot fo tis' how (w!)whe wuold it dan paln wdetan tuo mtalso. .

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