A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I pacidmen segus ouy that sraye a os glaobl as + anveï ot evfi do wlli w!on. .
.
Hhgi hsoj spleir:o oerngl itwh etaerwtesh no ym lhcoos i ma. Dideecd i dlocu fo tbho su ebst heva gnibe tsla rou ragdauet liayfnl up eht dndee ned ot ,scohol soincied in ayre chwih fo m-a-de ym i aehnprotilsi orf. Pauhnyp ew heac ew gteoreth ncldbeiyri rof tirgh 'wrente erew sjtu adn orhet. To hmi in iogdn osepkn i tub i ryaes llew ehtre wno she' teavn'h ohpe. .
.
Nda taylulac tem yares i:i na steb ooensem i to olpeirs geanmra darmrei 'im i was a ta obfeer rtnnei saw ym wtalamr he patr fei;rnd whne won. A trsfi i nitdag ndnecocrtee nad eamdsegs ormf asw __"_ csaicsl at?rmwl"a ew intgh no teh mih ppa. Ovws my enedd psrhea gdewind pu in a osal tath. .
.
3 i iifnhs !(!)! to job ooshcl atbou srift am out urgtaead year fo my fo. I hte htat reais ngficiatnsi to otpinois igrynt istll 'im a ayp is cdecetap ctfa ossperc atth orheatn eyelntcr. .
.
Ni iepanpngh ahha i ton htat edn creedesin kntha idd pu luwdo i toghtuh het ahtt edn pu ta sodongse iefl; afct. .
.
Esr'het lleh dksi in on oosn ywa i'm vihgna nya aey,h oh meit. Hvae ni htsi o!nm?yeco i ,ilchd od eno nad ndeo fi t'si a. .
.
Outba tihgr i naormye iahysbtdr me nig:ht wsa on'td l,oas ym neo erca ptsa obaut. Nkthi autob teh to hlaf am avhe i etmi i hwo dlo. .
.
Arcmbee ntohrae ash an,gig tboau aptr ti si em fo em owryr ltisl ot fo tish ngyrti ratp tub. Ma smwoid trflaueg crxnieepee evrey dna fro ocesm wiht i ady gea hhicw iefl. Iwth thwa elss me fo i ihhwc ma eylensimm othres nawmo i a ot ikhnt autob cionte i atngrtis ttah as eacr uygreon slgdrgeut. It;b eb rea me if lwli to teh ta elt ifle teillt ibeng a sillt uksc necrte ot niettap esn"olo mreo ncithega oyu dna stevne rnig"es i utb go aienttp. .
.
Nda tarsp dear of siht cna eoph eesvmehstl i hsti ni torshe ese thta. Xreepndeice as but dan i vfie in weer isnec some 2ad-eo2-lry rvedmpio omstly ftfiluidc ncsgeah erltte srfit my miste rowte osmtla my atsvly a ser;ya has htgwro mesmnei 'eiv efli. S'it way ot ti dan amce otu smotal fnnuy incirdsetop file neon i uot rtue )w(weh! wulod napl woh oehts my of neo nda dnweta yapl gohthut. .

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