A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Gsuse i sa + ivfe obllga os od vnaeï now! yreas peancimd ahtt ot uyo lwli a. .
.
Ihhg my hocosl loegnr on jsoh am rehteewtas lseri:po i whit. Fo othb yare i fnllayi ofr idecedd gdaauert hwhci btes hlcso,o ot i of -amde- up esciodin italesionphr locud in eginb the stal su edend ruo my den have. E'ntwer we oreth nda ofr ttheerog cndrilbyei erwe each ew auppyhn tighr tsju. But i trhee in i now e'htvan inogd to nesokp seayr ewll ihm hes' epoh. .
.
Eh bets my amagnre na eerofb ;eridfn neritn 'im asw autyllca i:i met hwne at riaermd onw rpat was yaesr lmawrta sonmeoe piresol dna a to i i. Itsfr asw datign _"__ aal?mtw"r no we eoencntrced mhi fomr dgaeemss eth pap nda a nihtg cclsais i. Up vosw hsraep my ni a asol egdwind atth dende. .
.
Adtgreua ot siftr 3 tbuao eary fo am soclho of boj ihisnf otu )!(!! my i. Raeis oercssp lstli tafc mi' nhorate a siaftinngic ahtt cteneryl apy to ngityr oiitopsn is atdcecpe teh i ttha. .
.
Did aahh fact den ie;fl ttha atht i up in gtohthu tknha soeosgnd teh at rcdieesne pu i dne oudlw nto ppeagnihn. .
.
'im sree'ht no ayw oh oosn elhl ngihav in nya meti ,yhae ksid. Tis' ce!myo?on i and a fi oen edon veha in il,hdc ihst do. .
.
I ighrt arec apts my myoanre ntod' abotu noe al,so asw toabu hdaybrtis me t:ihng. Hlaf ot thikn ma i how ldo i eht mtie abuto ehav. .
.
Rrowy em it ash to mebecar utb fo tish fo llist rpat therano is tpar touab ain,gg em gtyinr. Yad revye ilfe letgfaur mosec i fro aeg omswdi ihcwh icrpexenee adn am iwth. I ssle buato me hwta a teinoc htiw i oeshtr guynreo i of wihhc am mnmlseyie erca ntatrisg tkhin thta dgergutsl ot naowm as. Era flei utb at be napitte go os"onle tnpaeti e"girns cuks em reom sevetn eht tihangec yuo llitet b;it ot slilt lwli engbi ceertn dan ot if elt i a. .
.
I in smlethvees ttha this apsrt sohrte ihst dna aedr of phoe anc ese. Nmmesei tub rasye; 'iev riepdceeenx has ym i hgtwor rwee in dan vfei soem ayvlts a sa oyltms asgnehc ftudifilc eitsm tlaosm ym feil iscne rdomvpie r-d2eaoy2-l tleter iftrs tweor. Oldwu nda tghouht tehso nda nlap urte 'sit uynnf nnoe out woh acme enadtw omlats i ot ym layp ielf of )wwe(!h rsdonpieict uot eno it way. .

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