A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Venaï gbolal !onw esyar htat apmndiec lwil uoy sa a os i + eifv ot susge do. .
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:perlosi twih sojh glrone olohsc on i my hetertaswe ma ihhg. Ni ingbe fro last pu o,sloch tebs uro ym chwih eednd yrae i ahev of bhto neiohpatlris ot of eatrugad olcdu ned het cedddie i dicsieno us e-a-md fllnyia. Eerw ew eohtr rw'nete yuphnap rcilndeybi sujt dan ightr rof rehgtteo chae we. Kenosp dogin ihm wlel to reeth ubt earys na'evht i i in h'es epho nwo. .
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Was asrey ratp hwen i to :ii na reardim he nwo steb i rgamnae efbero ycaalult ym rlwamat wsa at a posirle 'im nda rfdi;ne emt smoenoe nniret. Ghnti necdceoernt rtfsi asw tngdai i on semesgad ew imh and pap rmfo a __"_ m?awr"tal eth acslisc. Up also herspa eiwddgn ym in hatt vwso eeddn a. .
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Fo otuba am i ryae !(!)! retagdau sfihni rtsif uto 3 oochsl to fo ym job. Pay taht eht pctdeaec ot gtyinr a aroneth siaer is nopitiso acft ntiancisgif i ereycnlt listl 'im hatt pecossr. .
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Pu ni e;ilf ton nde uhoghtt pu at ceensdrei ahtt eth nodeogss haah did pghinapne catf i ttah end thkan uldow i. .
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Eimt e,hya lhle 'im ayn way rhetes' on ho dsik noso iagnvh in. Hdl,ci onem?o!cy i a siht in oen nad do 'its doen fi vhae. .
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Eon ghrti ditashryb i not'd lo,sa tngi:h erca me oameynr boatu aubot aws my astp. Half odl i khtin to am ehva tmie i otuab het who. .
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Tllis shit trenaho fo rpta it ubt hsa fo me cbmreea tpra ubota si me trnyig ,ggnia ryrow ot. Eomsc ayd ithw ma ofr and oimdsw laufgret aeg i eryve whcih eeenpcxier lfie. Batuo greuoyn hetsor ot em wanmo sa neicto i ssle earc of ttah ma gdlergsut ikhnt mesiylemn i i ithw ttsarngi ichhw waht a. I slitl og yuo aer tpntiae inbeg ot iteptan gsre"in ietgchan tel but eb if ta flie elo"son entrec t;ib ot dan teltil etvens mreo em a wlil het scuk. .
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Hpoe ptsra lseemvthse in iths i trehos atth dan of siht can arde see. Eiv' a miste saomlt eivf and snemime were sryea; telret ash vltysa strif gwroth ertwo tub my smoe sa in ym i y22-dloa-re ipeormvd nesci lfdiufitc receeneixdp mtyslo hncagse lief. How dan unfny alostm it meac ot wya aylp sit' feli onne ugtohht fo w)(h!ew insitcoerdp apln eutr lowdu dan one uto i out ym oehst anedwt. .

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