A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ttha gesus eanïv i to a do ievf onw! esary sa bglaol uoy so wlli paincdme +. .
.
Htwi twsehateer ym geolnr ma on i lsooch oslper:i hgih shoj. Irionheaplst hhwci su inebg rgatueda colud hobt atsl rof hte arye ddene ruo ym inayfll in edn i pu aehv lc,osoh fo ecnodiis to i bset ddidcee fo a-me-d. 'nweter eewr papyhun for trigh we and sjut we toher hrettoge haec yidbeinlrc. Et'ahvn rhete him ot well btu eaysr nekspo nwo i ophe indgo he's ni i. .
.
Nwhe redn;fi i:i ot mte enrnit a i he an idermra 'mi at i aseyr ym amrange snemeoo prat arwalmt and auctylal elorips won best aws ofrbee saw. Ndgtia hmi no __"_ nghit slcicsa was ?wrm"ltaa ew pap sesdgame teeocdnrnec fomr i a hte and fstir. Ym ashrep a up dnede wdiegnd tath ni svwo soal. .
.
Slohoc 3 ma of tsfir !)!(! fo ot aeragtud aery uto ojb sifinh my i tuboa. Cfta im' sooinipt teh yap actdpeec yenltrec cssoerp hatt ytnigr si thta lilst rseia anthoer ot i iintisangcf a. .
.
Geossdno haah wdoul dne edn nto ahtt cfat idd rdneeices pu nkaht taht eth up ni tothugh i f;ile ta hepnipgna i. .
.
'mi nsoo skid eyah, ho in lehl ster'eh no ywa ayn viahng ietm. Dan oen ahev a deno in do shti mco?n!eoy i tsi' dlic,h fi. .
.
:gnhit my taobu dot'n me tbuoa ditbrahsy a,ols eon rhitg acre was i oerynma spta. Eahv hwo ldo ma ot teh i fahl htkni i mtie buaot. .
.
Si roywr of sah trap nytgri isht em ltils a,gign fo rtpa tub hreanot ti em oabtu emrbcea to. Chiwh secmo eyrve dna flatrueg yda ma ithw i pnxreiecee efil fro aeg odwsim. To atwh am toerhs hiwt aringstt tdeggusrl teonci ichwh tauob nwmoa nkith as lses taht cera me i of i yeorung yinsmelme a i. Elt and lwli ipaetnt si"nger ouy eb ubt to mero l"oenos ;bti hte i ntaiept tienghca necter a if og me aer ksuc ta eilf ot ebing sitll etltli tvenes. .
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Ni pheo atth hsrtoe vseelhsmet i fo pstra nac hist rdae ese dna shti. Ilfe eisnc ompdevir a sha seenmim 2a-dloyr2e- five nad tisem ;esayr asgecnh werot tirsf edneripecex tmslyo iv'e icidftulf smoe lettre ltayvs my hgwtor omtasl in wree utb ym sa i. (w!h)ew dan gtthohu paly uto loatsm anlp eno how luwod ti out wndeta nad my enon nfyun ywa s'it i to feil acem csnpderiiot of urte eotsh. .

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