A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do vief a pdanceim aevnï lalgob egssu sa wo!n atht i ot sreya + uyo so lliw. .
.
Elopsr:i on am hghi eterwsaeth iwth ym hsjo i hlocos oregln. Of -e-mda uro deden su have erohlsniatpi ocloh,s ltsa arey obth i culdo iescndio the i up eedcdid daeguart den my ihhcw rof ni fo bgeni setb illyafn to. Hrigt nda fro ustj we eorht ew aech hnupayp ibidlrcney rewe ret'ewn hegretot. She' epknso ryaes ni ethre evta'hn i now lwel iodgn hmi i to btu oeph. .
.
I:i im' wmaarlt ta bets dna nomesoe tem newh drifen; elispro eefbro rientn gmaenar asw rysea my i trap yaclulat he i imrdera swa an won to a. Eth trfsi ?m"rtalaw ppa oeredcntcen inthg i fomr gindat a wsa masesedg him ssclica on ___" ew and. Ttha hprsae ni dneidwg eednd my a up sowv olas. .
.
Finish ym colsoh of 3 ot tdaaguer yare otu am job !(!!) fo sfrit uboat i. Lltis niotsiop i pya tecylrne csorspe tfac ntiygr asrie ttha to a tifsgiacnin that ecadtecp teraonh the si im'. .
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Ton den gnesdoos ni nde ;lfie up i i haah hangppeni htat httough nseeerdci dlowu tacf ddi hte ta taht pu kthna. .
.
Any disk i'm on ehll ,aehy hanivg ywa in meti hees'rt oh noso. Nda od in a if it's oceoy?m!n noe onde i idcl,h shit vhae. .
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Asw cera 'dotn aoubt one i em grith o,lsa ynormae satp batuo ghtn:i my disbrhtay. Utaob i i aehv am hlaf imte odl owh inhkt to hte. .
.
Cmrbeea ngityr is htis utabo me n,giag utb to hnoeart fo orywr atrp sah of tpar it em istll. Gea penecerexi ofr rgltaeuf moecs adn whhci i veyre hiwt am mwoids iefl ayd. I whhci erca fo teosrh abuot ynsleimme i dsggltreu i nwoam lsse as rtasntgi tawh to em otince a htiw atth eonyugr ma nhkit. Yuo elttil "rensig eenctr ot a elt tptinae and igben n"lsoeo em etngcahi tlsil eb suck at ot rome fi bit; hte i tbu tenesv lfie nteatpi rae og lliw. .
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In sthi nda emlshesevt htat of anc daer spart htis i hpoe ese treohs. Midvoper tysolm as fdfitlcui oamstl semo my ym nad feli i peercendxie senci mesti rs;yea in leetrt ewer a --lye2dra2o tub tfsri smmenei efiv otwghr e'vi cgnseha ltyvas sah orwte. I nynfu tuo npal hhtotug eutr eon ohw otu adn awy maec luodw nnoe fo orpidstinec eoths lyap e!h)ww( it my it's wnaedt to ifle tslmoa nda. .

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