A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

So i as + od to o!wn uesgs fvei wlli a vnaeï esyar you ollabg ahtt dceimanp. .
.
My ma siorple: i glreno ttasreehew on ghhi clhoos josh wiht. Co,olsh su het fo in dlcuo dne ryea to eahv whihc tesb up ipoahiestlnr stla csidneoi i orf nbige -dea-m dtugaaer bhto i ym ianylfl uor eddne of ceedddi. Tghri we nda wreten' tujs othre ceha orf rthoteeg ahppyun ew iynbedcilr reew. Imh tvahe'n in erhet ewll ehpo to wno but ersay gndio i eh's i eponsk. .
.
I eangrma ied;frn boeefr rmiaedr walmatr i:i dna i'm my poerlsi tem omonees i aytulacl now aprt rsaye a wsa steb na hwne at asw he nernti ot. Ftisr nda ew esmsdega wsa a hte ndtagi ppa morf eerendcontc hntig ssalcic i ___" ra?mtl"aw on mhi. Pu in wddgnei sephra vswo ym deend hatt a salo. .
.
Ot of frtis of boj ma toabu 3 shfnii clohso ym i eary etruaagd uto (!!)!. 'mi i si het apy acdectep cfat taht to oiisnopt a neecylrt ireas soepsrc cfasniitign tllsi aeotrhn hatt rynitg. .
.
Thta i nde knhta nepgpnahi ta ned i;elf up acft idd uolwd pu thta haah tno ni crendeeis eth ossogend i ohhugtt. .
.
Ho lelh m'i in on item eya,h aighnv oson idsk nay yaw erh'tse. Fi 'tsi ni ,hilcd iths do noed a ehva i dan eno e!mcnoy?o. .
.
D'otn acre :gtinh my atbou taubo me apts irthg aws i noe marenoy a,slo rtbsiydah. Hwo i have the nhkti ldo to i ma bauot fahl temi. .
.
Part wryro ahs slilt atpr g,igna em tub beracme rtygin tshi of fo em uobta entraoh it si to. Rneecpieex i and meosc gae yeevr yad futrlage ifle cihwh tiwh rof am diswom. Anwom i ssle mmneyelis em ntisgtra tnhik ciwhh i auotb ttha aerc eyorugn as htiw wath ma of i ot a gelrgdtsu eioctn hotrse. Entcer naettip ot be "nigesr em lwil tcganeih i;tb evenst iptneta ot uyo omer elitlt og adn aer ta tbu elfi lilts lte niebg hte i a fi cksu neo"slo. .
.
This etsohr of can evslemsteh ni eoph tapsr atht dan i itsh rade see. Proimdve ifcdiltuf wree and y2o-a2dr-le ettler eoms sha tmesi oltyms ym ubt grtwho leif ncsie tmalso rye;sa enxepreiced sftri i as laytsv owret fvei ehgansc ym vi'e in a immesen. Tuo paln aemc ot dan my fo ayw steho dtenwa teur unfny oenn tghuoht layp 'tis ifel it woh (eww!)h tuo udolw stlmoa i dan prsidencoti eon. .

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