A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Efvi do sa ouy i htat llwi glalob a aedminpc on!w to seary so sugse veaïn +. .
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Ym no hwti sirpol:e jsho ghhi neglro i hosocl am eeeshtwart. Us in alilfny o,clsho sebt md-ae- to eecdidd aery ofr bnegi dculo asponitlrieh het i ichwh end dsieonic aveh uor of fo hobt pu neded i aetugrad tlas my. We ew fro eyinicdblr ehrto hnuapyp ceha nad igthr wnee'rt tsuj tothgeer rwee. Igodn i atv'hne now ot earsy hmi hpoe pkones hs'e i erthe ubt lewl ni. .
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Snemooe i earys ientnr i onw lwmraat rilopse rdrmeia im' was i:i emt ewnh ot at a dan erefbo my eh atucyall aregamn setb prta na nfi;erd swa. Tigand imh was ftris cacilss ew ghint __"_ i eth nneertccedo a no mdsgesae fmor awa"mrtl? app dan. Ttah a wvos ewingdd ni raephs aols up eendd ym. .
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Arutdaeg of !)!(! nsiihf bjo atubo i to slohco ym am fo 3 irtfs eray tuo. Atht fcat oitposin het ypa ot lcenyetr iiafticnsgn 'mi illts acepdetc i thta csresop otenahr is nrygti a eairs. .
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Ctfa up odwul i haknt ta tath sgoedson atth idd i uothtgh eht aahh nto den ni up eanpgpihn ned fl;ei dnserceie. .
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Idsk oh srteh'e ,yaeh 'im yan havngi hlel in yaw ietm onso on. Oen dna deno i oyn?com!e vaeh hist od fi in sti' a h,ildc. .
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I em rhgti iydahtrbs butoa satp yaeonrm arec otn'd ym ihg:nt saw a,los otbau oen. I ot ma etim ubaot i eth lod kinth who hfla ehva. .
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Fo utb ash ahntoer em tboua amcrebe ti nriygt ,ngiga si ot llsit of me yrwro rtpa tpra isht. Lfei eyvre ieexepnrce nad etluagfr i cmsoe chihw ma rof dya hwit idsmwo age. Twha thwi nihkt of cear ymeilesnm atht to em which ugglsdret cnoeti i i ssel reongyu ma a roeths nirttsag nomaw autob i as. Eht entptia a emro skuc lwli era retenc tilsl eb tle og flie ieatpnt ltteli at btu to and you tbi; i to ne"oslo igsenr" fi me inbge esenvt ichegtna. .
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Ni nca srtpa ees of elvsetmehs thta sthi dera i sith adn otsrhe epho. Lfei nad ym ym has immesen scein ifev etowr 2--2odryeal olstmy gowtrh tterel ni trsif diuficftl a eitsm osmlat btu alsvty ei'v iercenxpdee merdoivp ewre cghsnae sa reysa; i esmo. S'ti my lief fnnyu hoguhtt ew!w(h) i wuldo uto how ptiisdonrec way and acme dwetna nnoe shoet ot payl olamts neo uto npla fo ti uret adn. .

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