A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do to os obagll + illw syrae no!w uesgs you a taht dipeacmn sa vfei i anveï. .
.
Epilsr:o on hiwt gihh grnoel teeatsrweh lochos i johs ma my. I aveh dulco raohsipentli us iidocsne up fo to ruo hichw raey eiecddd engbi med--a ededn my the i autaredg for steb lsoc,ho ni fo linlfay tasl edn hotb. We ew rfo gheettro erhot nuahypp nda reew sutj eahc eildiynbrc ihgtr ee'twrn. Hmi i saery ni i nkspeo epho se'h ot ehrte now tub ndoig well nteavh'. .
.
A menagar patr ot i nr;iefd rfeeob mte :ii saw hnew adn 'mi wno inrten aws he i meaidrr poisrel ym ersya ta mawlart ultcayal moeesno tseb na. Aws a dan eteoccnrend istrf dingat app het i we gmsesdea mhi form lcassic itnhg ___" lr?am"awt no. Wngided oals hatt hseapr neded in ym pu wosv a. .
.
Fo inhfsi edautarg !!!)( ot i eary ma abtou fo my oclsoh out 3 obj rtsif. A atht pnsiioto tlsli irsae cryelnet ctfa mi' si sfiannicgti i pya dcepceat etharno hte girtny pecsrso ot tath. .
.
Up edn nde idd uoldw ngdoeoss i ohuttgh ttha eth i aahh sdeercnei lef;i at actf up nahkt in ont ahnnigepp taht. .
.
Oh noos lhle aigvnh on i'm eth'ers ni kids yan wya ,ahey ietm. A dan iths t'si eno doen en!omy?co in i do d,cihl eahv fi. .
.
Slao, ramneoy baout saw tn'do idatbhrys eon nhg:ti my i race thgir me buoat spta. Het ehva fhal i hwo to am tnhki lod item i baotu. .
.
Em tbu em ihts is tehanor nygrti abecrme ti rrywo of fo nga,ig tbuoa tpar to trpa llist ash. Ilfe dan smeco aeg am npxeeereic hcwih lfteaugr fro twhi eryev wdsmio day i. Satngrit taht a cwihh as fo outab esmmneyli i to thwa entico sles lregtsugd i reca omnaw i tihw yeguonr ma em rtsoeh tnhki. Ventes ot be i at eaincthg atntpei you ;bit ear and isltl fi lwil naipett tleitl to ceenrt em i"gsern rmeo ilfe skuc let nbgie elnoso" go a teh utb. .
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Sthi ese itsh astrp shsvelteme hoep i nac in dan fo hatt dear troehs. Neidcpeeerx twroe utb in oems my a i asyre; eitsm and vi'e gcehnsa my hotwgr 2yd-loar2e- ncies etltre sytmol ewre ctuliifdf tmsola as first atlsvy simemne mivdorpe ash file evfi. Eilf asmlto ynnfu ayw aetwnd none woh aecm tuo shtoe t'is wehw)!( tdcrionisep it htothgu erut apnl eno wlodu ym fo and i dna alyp out to. .

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