A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Liwl do eandpmci esyar ïaevn on!w i ssegu ouy as golalb thta vife os + a ot. .
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Hitw on i ma wttseaehre osohcl isolrp:e lnerog ojhs hghi my. I in the pu bets uro ddeidec doucl lsta engbi m-ae-d dne indoeics to i eavh nlyfial datgaure enedd ayre othnrisaplei us rof h,ocols bhot fo my of ciwhh. Ew ew nda reew er'enwt eahc ohter for cdileynrbi tihgr pupnhya thetegor tjsu. Ot eehtr e'hs i onw ophe ihm well oksepn in asery thaen'v tbu dngio i. .
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Won saw na a ta btes he tme ii: eaanmrg aayluclt emseoon rpat inrdef; wneh entinr rdiamre ispoerl to yaesr ym dna i ramtawl 'im i breeof was. We a _"__ asslcic pap rofm sirtf and hingt seesgmad i asw mih a?wltm"ra eth tdinga enedetcconr on. Up oasl needd svwo ni pserah ym htta dwednig a. .
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Lohcso my (!!)! ma hfinsi getruada 3 fo frsit uot i to eayr tbaou obj of. Saier i im' hetaron itlls fnncgtiisia the ot ypa thta oerpssc cnylerte is snotopii tnrygi htta actecdpe ftca a. .
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That aahh pu ddi ton esdoosng sirceedne ouwdl i den up nnpepghia ni kntah het ttah i end eifl; aftc ta guhotht. .
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Kdsi 'mi wya noos hell ayn ahye, ni nivagh eitm on 'etshre ho. Dan ihst ahev one if od a o?oynem!c is't i i,dlch ndeo in. .
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'dtno yremnao hgn:ti one otbau tasp i reac ym em ithgr oautb olas, asw hritadbsy. I hknti i oaubt ot falh the ma mtei who dlo heav. .
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Of of it yrgtin boaut to cerabem sha me roryw arpt but llist gnig,a em rhtaoen atrp si iths. Ma for ifel evyre nad eexicreepn wdisom eag i cesmo ayd iwth gltafure ihwch. Lses oeguyrn chhwi wath em i htta nomaw i race igsttnar a i whit am uabot sa to egtdgursl yeenmlims of tcnoie sehrto ntkhi. ;bit flei l"soneo ta ot you eb aiectnhg igsn"re ot het dan em ettlil ear ckus a if tbu eetncr iatepnt i lslti rome etl go begin eetsvn will ntptaie. .
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Ese i pheo ni fo saprt ihts torhes shit seeestlvmh can and tath rdea. A torwgh ncise ewer vfie lteret syltom msoe my has asolmt cesganh i etorw v'ei ffiildctu ea;ysr as oa-y2dr2le- eemsmin lief nad iopvdrme tbu lvayst stmie ym in sifrt reexiedpcne. Ot taewdn tghtohu eifl noe napl noen fo nyufn and ym )(!wewh eshot ecam urte dan i iocdsinrpet it out ayw is't ulwdo mlasto out owh pyla. .

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