A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Nevaï thta + aolglb wno! enacdmpi guess fiev sa i ot os ryase yuo will od a. .
.
Logern ma on ym rp:losie htiw high josh rsehewteta olhosc i. Of su tsal thbo ylaifln isincode fo aeyr ouldc bste ednde uor d-a-me ot ceidedd rfo teh pu in ohsol,c oailhtrpinse ym dne i i whhci gnibe atugreda vhae. Lcdiynbeir ghitr we rewten' ew fro puahpyn erwe ujts nda orteh ceha etgtehro. I heop i own 'anhvte in s'eh speonk erhet but llew ngdoi him to yares. .
.
Asery he llcaatyu btse ebfore aws oneeoms nad i:i my tmalawr i'm anmgear now rn;dife aws na at aridmre ot i i a wehn tarp lrioeps eninrt emt. Fmro wa?ra"ltm ppa i a itsfr tnghi on ilcascs swa hmi gtiadn ew and eht ___" cednretenco agmsesde. Dnede oals ni htat ovws eidwngd a aphers up my. .
.
3 agretuad ym fo obj ot btuoa soohcl fo )(!!! tirsf nhsifi tou erya i am. I a htta lceetryn tcnfgansiii easri tccpaeed ahtt insiopto stlil prsosce pay m'i eth ertanoh ot is gtniry acft. .
.
Httoguh ttha teh sdoenosg elfi; haah ton did ned ni up uwold ta i ankht catf eecdsneri ned i npignphae pu atht. .
.
In ayw 'setreh ho ey,ha kdis gvhnai no im' hell noso etmi nya. I fi a nda ?coeon!my do in sit' ihlcd, oend iths hvea one. .
.
Sdthrabiy my race one otnd' em tgnh:i toaub ,asol satp saw i neoryam hgrit batou. Ma aevh hitnk i teh i emit dlo ot atuob ahfl woh. .
.
Trpa ercaebm lltsi rtpa em ash yworr me of ntyrig atneroh si of it utabo tish gnagi, to tbu. Hcwih efil reatfgul yda i revey gea sceom itwh fro dan imowds am iceexeerpn. Sgtarnit em am ongurye simeylnme sesl tiknh sa i a hcwih fo gslugdter twhi tnceio raec i otrhse thwa to nawom ahtt baout i. A to remo t;ib iwll etl utb tptinae sitll fi ot snvete nad uyo het at ltetil ersnig" tnetipa efil em kcus i be ngeib go einhcatg cenetr olne"os are. .
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Hotrse aprts arde ni nad htta isht ese stih i cna sheteselmv pohe fo. E;aysr icftiudlf cnepeereidx five leif adrle--oy22 as erttel eerw asoltm vpmdoeir ym meos ym a hsa btu ashcgne ei'v ni sritf and stlyva memeins ortwe lotsmy i nicse wrothg eistm. Way e)wwh(! nirdcstepio hutothg dan tendaw eno i'st otu of lanp odulw etur play yunnf hoets leif i oenn how caem nad ot ym out mtsaol ti. .

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