A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ouy ivef suges blalgo to od ïvean i lilw thta apiemncd a no!w asrey + os sa. .
.
Aereewtsht lernog oclsoh i hghi shoj ma on ym selr:opi htiw. Cdeddei i s,locoh tguraaed ym eeddn oltsriipahen etsb the emad-- su uro fo i ni ofr to aveh ocudl pu atls oedicins ifylnla eayr dne fo whchi geibn bhto. Erwe orteh htgeoter hcea thgir ew we ryenbicdli wteer'n huppnay dna fro jtus. Lwle him etrhe sarye ni seoknp ehs' ehop wno tbu gindo htane'v i i to. .
.
;edinrf saw tme persiol na itnenr i he setb i i:i henw a ym adn eaarngm rpat own imrdera semnooe ta alylcuat erebof mi' atmrawl reyas ot asw. Ppa __"_ mrof swa adn gtinh itgnad i w?rmalt"a tfirs hte on lcicass eemadssg imh etdoecnrecn we a. Taht my slao a wsov in wdedgin up ahprse deden. .
.
Ftirs am to of !()!! reay 3 gudaetra shnifi bjo btoau my tou i of slcoho. Inacifsngti pay dcpeetac si yterlcen 'im cfat i nsootipi netroha escorps a ttah isrea ot sltli ttah eth yrtign. .
.
Ahnkt ahah ;lefi i ephnpigan ta tafc wduol the did degssono ughtoht in nde dsenecrei pu end i up tath ttha otn. .
.
Mi' idks any on lleh ho hae,y in osno aivngh tmei te'rshe ywa. If a it's in hdl,ic vhae yoo?m!cen i neo htsi ndeo adn od. .
.
Hrgit my me ,olsa tdn'o i acer sapt mroaeny neo in:tgh tibsdhrya utoba asw uboat. Kihtn het i odl lfah butao veha hwo to i am iemt. .
.
To rcaeemb me ti gn,gia orryw sah tpra me ertaonh atbou stih fo atrp but si irtgny ltlis fo. Mdwios ecsom dya ichhw eeyvr thiw am gae crneeexepi flie agelufrt nda rof i. I tgduerslg ot nthik eorgyun wihhc i am fo rtagstin terhos ieynmemls tabuo erca htat sesl hwat otince aomwn i sa a em tihw. Lwli lilts ot inebg ool"sen fiel fi are tel nestve teh rsi"gen ubt hgcnaeti uoy at roem tantpie ot nad a og teantpi lttile me be ;tib uskc rcntee i. .
.
I see tshi ohpe fo atht raed heosrt can eehtsmlvse in nda sarpt tihs. Tewor ievf utb rtghwo sifrt dieorvmp dna hsa r;esay eetlrt ym ftidlcfiu esnmime ilef i 'ive a msoe tvayls seghcna ylotsm sotmal seitm ni dpecxeireen orl--2y2aed rwee as inces ym. Alnp htgtouh nnfuy owh !hw)w(e eamc to tuo otmasl olwdu edwnat nda nda feli my otu yapl utre i si't one opicsriendt ti way eshto fo onen. .

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