A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Htat vaenï evfi do a nwo! + oyu oablgl as ugses to mpdacien iwll os eyars i. .
.
Hlosoc wthi sojh am eahrtstewe ym l:prosei i no hhgi rngloe. ,ohoslc i both lcudo orf to md--ea tdgraeua eyar us of lsat in fo esbt het ym nde edned i pnsratihoile niebg idcedde ihwhc vhae rou lfalyin up oeinscid. Erew trheo pnauyph tethgroe we twerne' dan tighr dbeiclryni sjtu we heca orf. Eohp h'etvan eterh now in ubt ogidn i ellw to i kpoens she' yreas mih. .
.
Lyatluac bste onw ind;fer nda a he ilerspo i:i aws wlaamtr rpat rebofe wnhe to i ta aaenrgm an m'i intnre rmdeira mte ayres i swa my ooesnme. Rfmo i ppa nda him no a ?"rmaawtl gnhit ___" itrfs ew gaemdsse gditan iscscal cetnodrnece swa hte. Wneddig thta edden prahse oswv losa my a up ni. .
.
Ma i autderag tuo trfis ot ojb touab ishnif of 3 !!(!) olscho eyar ym of. Is yeelcnrt ot aeonrth i listl cfta a esari iipstono yap i'm cadtceep teh atht tifsinnacig ingytr taht epsrosc. .
.
I eth up i i;efl up ddi ont thta odwul in cfat haha nhppganie gsosdeno ned at htgtohu ntakh cedinseer tath edn. .
.
On yaeh, lelh oh in gnahvi yaw imte oons shter'e im' kdsi yan. Onde od if eon sith ycm?eoo!n i chdl,i in aveh a 'tis nda. .
.
'odtn ryhaidtbs ubtoa saw eon i oemanry rgiht o,las butao h:intg ym me caer tspa. Lod heav i miet nitkh woh am hafl bauot ot teh i. .
.
Wrroy is rapt rapt of it em of siht to atnreoh reacbme auotb lslti me gign,a ahs gtniyr utb. Ihhcw ihwt gerlatfu iefl dna eecrxieenp rof eevry aeg emsoc swiomd i am ayd. Hteors angirstt i lses rcae knthi mwnao em uboat eocnti am fo i sa a thta hchiw htiw uslegdtgr mymsienle thaw ot yuneorg i. Ielf at "onoels ecnetr me i eb fi ecatghni ksuc you ot btu a slilt ;tib iltlet to tle adn lwli eorm tatpien nbieg rea eth etantip tesvne s"igenr og. .
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Iths pastr emeeslthvs thta nad i stehor eoph read nac in of ese shti. Ubt e'vi ;ryeas in y-r2eao-2dl vorpemdi vylats weort as i rettel miste ymtslo tlamos sha nhscega ym ewre my eoms dtiuiflfc sienmme nad lfie iftrs rxneepedcei fvie nisce a orhgwt. Nda aylp woh rpotsinidce ym dna wya it's shoet ot out i uto it feli !whwe)( meac ynfun eno edwnta etru of nalp dluwo ogtuthh none mlotas. .

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