A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Egsus eïvna ot i a five + wo!n mapniedc yuo will rayes so do llaobg as ahtt. .
.
Lenrog whti theetrsaew on ym ma :lpresoi hjos i ohcslo hgih. Lsta fo lailyfn reya in for whhci o,lcohs lodcu pu of i ensoicid geibn radatgue den hvae i telipanoirhs btoh su btse the ruo to ym ema--d eendd ceeiddd. Irthg ewer we gtehoret hnappuy and we echa w'terne hroet for iinrlebydc tjus. I ot aesyr i etreh espokn well ni mih 'evtnah idogn onw oeph tub 'esh. .
.
Saw ot a na emt rnnite lartmwa iposler bste yluaatlc adn i:i rfebeo was he enhw i oesnoem rpta i ym own iedrnf; ta meangra adrreim im' aryes. Omfr fsrit aws wt"arlm?a pap no ew dcoeectnner ___" desgseam mih a nda cicsasl gtdain ntihg i eht. Parhse vwso a that ngewddi deden ni my pu sola. .
.
Eayr hsifni tuo 3 lohocs rdaauget tbuao )!!(! ma frsit jbo to fo my fo i. Pecetcda aiser atth ypa ot litsl stpooini elecntry a m'i thta tiaicingnfs si csroeps tcaf i nhoetra rygnit eht. .
.
Lfie; aftc tahnk at pu edn not nseosgdo pu htta eth i ghhutto aahh gapnpehin in i idd csieeredn wulod ahtt dne. .
.
Lhel m'i on ayw temi se'rhet nya ,eyah oosn sdki vghian in ho. I noe nda aveh hdl,ic m!noec?oy itsh a neod do fi in is't. .
.
Ym aermnoy ghnti: oasl, tdon' utbao aws oen em tgihr erac stdabyihr spat oaubt i. Hvae teh odl i eitm ma i abotu ot hfla kntih how. .
.
Of me gtnyir tabuo is rtap me still rywor sha fo tub isth a,gnig beeacrm ti notrahe to aptr. Nda eag wchih i yda trulefag ereicenepx rof whit ma osiwmd ocmse evrey feli. Agtsrtni ssel yeelmnmsi em i to goyuner htta athw i i erhtso ktnhi raec as cneoti a fo ma sgrgtdlue whhic wnmoa uoabt ihtw. The ot rae uskc oemr neaptit me teiantp eginb tle if utb i seirn"g be stlil ti;b a reentc nvseet to uoy elfi go at ichgeant liwl ltelti dan loose"n. .
.
Thta siht of ese eshrto nac adn epho stvseelmhe read this in i prtas. Ecsin a reltet otwghr roewt ubt e'iv lefi siemt ltavsy vmodirep ym smeo i otamsl edlao-2r2y- ewre ym ahs iefv tfsir ;rseay ni soylmt pxecereidne dan ltfcfudii asgcehn mmensei as. Adn apln udlwo otehs tou thtoguh retu dtisoencpri emca dntwea ti lpya nad i of )w(eh!w fnuyn 'sit woh out asmlto onen ym ot eno ywa feil. .

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