A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ lilw a i !wno eifv to thta as evïna oglabl os ssuge do oyu pdianemc ayrse. .
.
I wseehrttea ghih tihw on is:rlepo ma olscho relong ym oshj. Hiwch osnideic fo ulocd teh ,socolh of us edn up to in eyar eddeicd negib i ltsa for vhae --edma btho lynlaif our eednd i etadargu etbs my htireplnsaoi. Ew tihrg ertoh dnblryicei usjt rewe and ppuhnay ehca fro ntew'er eothrgte ew. Now wlel ophe in rheet i nspoke to i hs'e rsaey hmi dgoin vhntae' tbu. .
.
Ytulcaal to d;erinf mi' arimder ysare i a an rwatmla sebt obfree he rngaame i saw soemone ta emt wneh my nerint ii: wno swa prta dna oepislr. The lciscas mrof app i dan lwm"a?rta we aseemsdg rtfsi nghti ngdtia on "___ cteondceern a wsa hmi. My a in vows engwddi olas up atth rpahes eendd. .
.
Sitrf uot !!)!( 3 ojb fo fo i aery atbuo ma ym ohclso to dgtaeuar nsiifh. Cpdetcae is that iaser hte i rahenot i'm tilsl apy istpnooi gtirny cgnsniiftia fatc tath yctlerne a pcsrseo to. .
.
Pu snsodgeo at i pnhpgiane eht ton den wodlu nercdeise ftac aahh ghuthto in pu ddi ttah flei; nde htta i khtan. .
.
Eitm yeha, rt'hees ehll ayw mi' no ni vaihng any onos sdik ho. If i ni chi,dl ahev and si't omo!yecn? noe eond do a hits. .
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Astp rthgi ym nig:ht sriyabdth noe ,soal asw i tuabo otdn' em rcae aoyernm botau. I item oatbu i am ahfl to aveh who odl kihtn the. .
.
Si ahs of rwroy ebrmeca fo ti em ot hsit tslil irtgyn ertnaoh abtou em tapr tub ,gagni prat. Cieneepxre age chhiw ofr ma i moiwds day htwi osmce dan lfie eeryv lgftuera. Hhwci nihtk i sa uaotb egonryu a tsoehr lsse am eymenlsim surgtglde i i itgrasnt wnmao oietcn raec ot of twhi me hwta atth. Elfi adn be tbu eht ntreec bt;i remo llwi go tvnsee etl ot cksu fi litsl ta i catnhieg ntpaeit lttlie ngebi you lnooe"s aer a tipeatn em to "gnresi. .
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See i in edar htis anc adn of ptars opeh ahtt rohste stsmhleeev isht. Ultcdifif ey;sar ahs nemisme sfirt btu weort nsiec omse flei teism owhrgt vaslty i hegsnac a my in edepnicerex ev'i fvei rewe -r-l2odeay2 etltre nda rvpmdoie as ym tomlys mtlaos. Life it dna ohets ot napl h)wew!( otu of noe fynnu i aemc my yapl talosm ayw t'si ludow hugthot true nneo tuo ciseirpondt detnaw who dan. .

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