A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Gssue blgola ttha nw!o evif a i so aeïnv illw to uyo sa padnicme do + saeyr. .
.
Psrlieo: eeatherstw ma ym ghih lsoohc iwth i no oshj roelgn. Plistaheinro my hoscl,o i hwhic erya aehv dne neibg rfo edicsnio ni etauagdr of eednd deidcde su ltsa up ianyfll dm-e-a uro to bste i ohbt duclo teh fo. Rthig adn echa phnuapy rof oetrhget weer torhe we tsuj r'enwet ew yrbdncilie. Wno well in sraye ehtre kpsone mih i eh's tnvh'ae ehop to donig btu i. .
.
Ehnw he oenmose tem i freoeb talluacy ramalwt aptr ietnnr at yrase aerrmid swa i d;nerfi and :ii ym wno amgaenr ot a aws eirlsop na i'm best. "___ teh i him dnccrteoeen a ralwmat?" asdgesme rtifs tnihg pap fmor ew dan on clsicas indgta saw. Ni ahtt asol a ndidweg pu ym saeprh nedde owvs. .
.
3 )!!(! ym to jbo hiisnf i yrae clohso otaub am otu uearatdg fo of sitrf. Pay ttah si teh ohnerta cfta iesra a ningticsaif iltls rlynetce to gtiryn ttha poistino rseopsc 'im cpeeadtc i. .
.
Het up htat ton idd npepighna in hogtthu ctaf ogsedosn nde ahtt e;ifl i haha up dne uoldw i ta nahtk denrceeis. .
.
Oh aeh,y ywa any no lhle tmei hte'ers im' ni idsk osno niaghv. Ahve sthi in do cy?!mnoeo a fi il,hcd tis' adn neo i edno. .
.
Arec was tgi:nh hgtri neo tobua ola,s odt'n nmyeroa tpsa bshiadrty i ym me buoat. How i eimt oautb i flha ot eth knith vahe ma ldo. .
.
,aggin aoubt of ahs tgynri yorrw but hsti to rpat part ilslt me fo erohnta ti is ebeamrc me. I yad ma ecoms uglretfa adn dsiwom gea eexeicrnpe ifle for ihcwh htiw evyer. Ma uneryog erotsh a teonci ttah to tigartns i thaw me owanm eacr i ilymsemen wiht tgsedugrl tkhin essl hihcw i sa tuoab of. To i fi era noosle" nbige etsnev lte feil ubt uyo ;bit eorm llwi taheicgn me eb istll ksuc dan nse"rgi recent ot ta itaetnp hte a etnatpi etitll og. .
.
Fo isth stih and ni i htta svelmheets srpta see peho tsoerh anc drae. Toerw 2-2or-dyale utidlffic hgrtwo as lfie rdmvpeio atvlsy shcenag elettr my evi' lmytos some nad fevi matols ym xpedeeinerc emtsi nmsemei sah ;syrae ni a i eewr tsrif but eiscn. Dan iodiptcesnr unfny came uot amsolt pyal dna ti uot i fo to enno awy my eno ulowd eatdwn t'is w(!weh) uthgoth lapn uret ethos eifl woh. .

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