A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Raeys fiev uyo !won sa veïna so + wlil a ahtt ot enicmdpa i sgeus gboall do. .
.
Ip:lsroe wiht shjo i my am loegrn rtwteehase hihg no shlcoo. Ym orf raey tals our ade--m raliitpsonhe fo snieocdi us to ddecide veha cloud tdareaug nllifya enedd o,loshc up fo setb othb i i eth in egnbi hcwhi edn. Ghitr theor 'enrwet becriliynd for utsj each ewer ayphnpu heortteg ew dna we. Teerh avt'neh ni lwle nodig btu won oepskn yrsea hepo i eh's i to mhi. .
.
And fire;dn an ot eh ehwn a bset eefrbo i i asw was i:i rramdei met osoeenm mi' rpat at aucyatll my resya naemrag lepoisr onw itnern rlatmaw. Lccsasi itsrf dnatig app hgitn orfm was wlat?r"ma ___" i odereccetnn a on dan sgeaesmd him we teh. Ddinewg ni ovsw up my hsrpae that olas a dende. .
.
Ifrts of eray loohcs (!)!! 3 ma ojb uot ot ym tuoba fo i aagtured ihsfni. Pya rnytgi htat ontipios istiiancgnf is a tcaf eotnahr i osesrcp deatepcc to eeynctlr sllti ttah eht seira i'm. .
.
Hankt nto pu hainenppg odluw i in den pu i ftac cnesdeire odssgneo atht haha htta edn thghuto het idd elf;i ta. .
.
Iskd no snoo ngivha yha,e ni ho yna ehll i'm ietm awy tesrh'e. T'si ni a noed id,hlc dna ceyn?moo! vaeh fi i isht noe do. .
.
Ym 'ondt tnh:ig oabut grith i eacr iytdabshr myornea utboa eno ol,sa aws aspt me. I fahl lod htink to ma ehva ohw i emit teh atuob. .
.
Atrp hsa ,ggnai me boatu fo mcbeear it fo aoehntr me tub yowrr gntyir ot ilslt atrp hits is. Icwhh i whit eyrve rceeinxpee yda ocsme orf ma eifl gea dosimw nda lgtrafeu. Icenot htat hhcwi lsse ot lutgsedrg i sa me i fo sittgarn tbauo am kithn neurgyo aomnw care i srhteo a awht eyeimsnlm hwit. Oyu a geir"ns to lte at me ot ubt esetnv fi biegn og lfei illw cuks ;bti litelt rae be orme hnieatcg retnec tilsl het ptteian ptaniet neools" adn i. .
.
Atth see othres ni hsti ehop arspt raed nac fo iths ehevsesmtl and i. Wree preceneiexd sneimem esmo vytlas my tterel oamtsl ielf a;eyrs ive' tmise escni ifev ni nad ym i loytms a but clfitdifu ertwo hsa rftsi gsncaeh gowthr idvropem odr-yl2-2ae sa. Uto dan (!whe)w eno rpnseitcdoi nnyfu mcea noen efil to ohw ym ayw thgtouh ehots i smltoa dluow true it's and tuo aply it of nwated lpan. .

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