A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od o!wn a npedacmi loagbl eavnï + to atth as ersay i wlli yuo so gsseu evif. .
.
Oohlsc ym gelonr sjoh no oipsre:l ma tteeawrseh ithw hhig i. I obth hicwh dende ddedcie dea-m- ym i ni end su codlu to eht bigen lhreiatnoips salt bets ieicdons pu uradatge iyanlfl reya fo eahv uor of lsoo,hc rof. Ahce tsuj rfo drieylnbic roteh ttoeregh punphay e'rwent dna eewr htirg ew ew. Dnoig tub ihm i to sh'e in trhee nhtaev' oespnk aysre wlel hope i nwo. .
.
Nda he swa sebt tme i'm i:i ieadmrr nehw nearmga fie;dnr a tllcauay i aws won inretn ta an beoerf tmwlraa nemsooe to my esray tpar reliops i. Ew sdeagsme mrfo eht mhi sccsail swa dna siftr l"trwama? i pap a tinadg tcrneeeodnc no _"__ itnhg. Osal a rhspea pu ym dnwdegi thta eeddn in wsvo. .
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I arye !!)!( ochlso fo ojb 3 tou of ym rstif tuoba ot rdueagta am fnsihi. I tangiinifsc the ot opnotisi catf taht 'im esropcs litsl risae rngyti a ttha epdcacte si hneoart neycetlr ypa. .
.
Gseodson nakht dne i ahha ttha nto did utghoth i eeirecsdn ifl;e pu nde gpipehnna pu ta teh uowld tafc ttah in. .
.
Noos ainvhg in mite eetr'hs hell ho ,hyea on awy 'mi ksdi yan. Neo sit' nda ndoe od siht a aehv i ni ldcih, on!c?omye fi. .
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Ym sola, em ecar psta tghri buoat hgt:ni n'dot one remnoay auobt saw abrihtsyd i. Ot i the i htnki mtei autbo ohw vaeh lhfa dlo ma. .
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To obaut anehotr atrp me yrtnig si tpra ti bereacm me roryw of gnig,a tub of litls ihts sha. I am with nda ervey ereepnicxe fleargtu ilef mocse rfo dwomsi ega wichh yad. A uoabt what nitkh earc neelmmisy aownm am i i atht sa esls oyregun hitw rtudgglse hwhci nttrsiga tecnoi ehstro fo i ot em. I leif nrcete no"osel itlls gir"ens oyu teh tpienta fi go dan a but neevst eb etl kcsu rae ta wlli itltel ;bti emro egacihtn atpenit ingbe em ot ot. .
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I oehp nac semeelshtv dan fo sith that tsih saptr ni ese raed oshert. Ivfe ym i oerwt dan a ahs asrey; frsit oivepmrd mmeesin my ive' tslmoy gcnhsea as tbu eoms wree valtys rwoght elif ctdiifful 2y-ro2-dael tomlsa rteetl in etsim icnes npieeexedcr. Si't oenn i yalp tuo olastm epridsoitnc true sehot fo owh amce uhtgoht neo nad and my lapn ti dneatw yufnn otu !)wewh( eilf wloud yaw to. .

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