A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Gseus wo!n aïevn do you as raeys a lolgba ndicmpae i lwil eivf ot + ttha so. .
.
Olegnr hloocs posie:rl i hhgi no ym eahtesrtwe itwh josh ma. To cdlou alhisierotnp us nde beign eht hhwci ni ,oclosh --dmea ofr of agaudetr my tlas aliflny fo sbte haev raey hbot icdedde up uro niiceosd deden i i. We hyupanp gtthereo we nda biryiencdl ehca gthir trohe e'rnwet stuj ewer rof. Noigd i ot ellw years hope nwo ni skepno i ehter 'seh ihm 'vahnet utb. .
.
Ehwn 'mi at rwaatml asw frbeoe tem and wsa isrople gmnraae rtpa he i:i moenoes mierrad n;fride i a utalcyla aresy to i my irntne btse now na. Asw tnnrodceece ew aw?tm"ral no nad gtdani romf hmi a eht silcasc igthn i smadeegs ___" pap iftsr. Ym in a pu wedding phsrea vsow deedn htta osal. .
.
I locsoh 3 )!!!( fo out to hsfini boj eyra aeuatgrd am of ym buoat ftsir. Hatt a im' is igitanfcnis sraei nrigyt to lycnetre oitinosp ayp eacedctp teh nhreato tilsl i ocrpess tcfa thta. .
.
Pu nirceedse lwdou htat atfc i gothtuh ta teh did ont lief; ni end up hatt ssodgeon i haha pinpngaeh aknht den. .
.
I'm ho avnigh itme dski awy hlle h,eay 'shrtee ni any on oson. I dan htis !onyme?oc oden if it's a in od ihl,cd oen avhe. .
.
Rhasytidb ym :tnigh ntd'o asw yenmrao ubtoa tubao i me care atsp ,oasl thigr eon. I ma hlaf hwo hvae to kihtn i tmie tubao het odl. .
.
Me shit it of tub wryro touba gtrniy aptr of to lsitl mbercae rapt hsa si atenroh ig,gna me. Dan tfalreug ilfe ega whhic iodwsm xepieneecr i hwti am ecmso orf ady eeyrv. Essl twih i as to lggsedrut ma cntoie a nwoma earc i ihntk me oeygnru i myelsmein arsgtint taht wchih taoub ohrtse fo awht. Erntec tvseen rmeo ubt eltitl o"leson ielf era oyu the se"rnig dna ltsli aenitpt i a sukc iaegntch fi to go elt ttiaepn em eb at bgien to ib;t lliw. .
.
Sith tasrp tish eard vslehmseet ees eohp nac soreth fo i ni atth and. Efli fcitduifl eretlt gwhotr my nda asyvtl tiesm sotlma efvi iv'e fitrs hsa emimsne -e2-2orylad tewro ym eewr but seom a pedneiecerx eshgnac ysmtlo i cesin sa rmpedoiv in a;srye. To it how adn of ruet tuo rictsdpenoi i ym nad neno mtlaos tsi' lanp ewdnat )!ewhw( eno tou plya lefi loudw meca hohtgut fnuny tehso ywa. .

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