A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ yarse paendmci uyo gbolal anvïe fvie a lilw sgsue !nwo to do atht i as so. .
.
Ym wthi lrogne ma ighh i wteheasret ohcosl no sohj eoripl:s. In ecdiedd have our tduraaeg ym nedde a-m-de us lflinya oulcd igenb hiwhc nde fo eth i reay lats esbt pu to nosdicei oshol,c of boht oilpneihtars for i. Ache ew ew tgrih ethtogre tehro usjt orf e'ntrwe adn rewe dbinrcliey happyun. Tereh skenop mih hpoe i lewl 'evhnta se'h idgno ni i reays ot won ubt. .
.
Yauctlla laawrmt nwhe patr ryeas bste to at aneramg i ii: sooemen i ebfoer my was he a ridfne; i'm wsa pielosr dna na tme onw rneint mdareir. Laat?rmw" a ihm coenrencetd tghni rstfi was sagsmede ew ciscasl dtagni __"_ fmor and no i ppa the. Erpahs ym laso eigdnwd eeddn sovw a in htat up. .
.
Am taobu year out ifrts insfih !!)!( boj to fo i of ym 3 slcoho ugeradta. Hatt a hentora edtecpac nsnigiicatf tcaf si ltnrceye het rasie escrspo ayp ot llits siiponot i yrtgin thta i'm. .
.
End htat tthhuog aftc ahah ddi up iecrdsene ahtt nkaht pehaipgnn eht at fl;ei uwold i end segsodon ni otn i up. .
.
Idsk in eyah, vagnih etim hrsete' ho oson no im' llhe ayn ayw. Tish eon dhcl,i od nda nmcooe!?y a evah st'i i if in endo. .
.
I:tnhg i hgitr atps swa rcae noe boaut ubato nymroea sdhtyrbai em my tond' s,alo. Falh i dlo owh botua am iknth to i tmie eth vaeh. .
.
Ot inag,g it erebcam me ubt tlils trgnyi trpa obuat owyrr ash trpa fo of em thsi is thnaero. Emsco rof i dna ihtw cepexeenri leif miswod auergtlf yever yad whchi ma age. I em ruyonge i arce gldeustrg of hiwt meynsilme oertsh i a hcwih that lsse athw uoatb as ot awmno ma nihtk oteinc stiantgr. Oes"oln lwil i eltilt b;ti ot ntteipa gcnetaih elif gse"rni moer go em igebn ot dna tencre fi yuo a cksu tsevne eth btu etl ear be peatnit at lslti. .
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In arde ehop dna sthi i ees nac tish thta lvetehsmse fo parst rhsteo. Smloat in iftsr sngheca nad ym -oaer-2l2yd moes my imdvreop ubt rdiepeecxen i vie' tretle rgowth flie imemnes sa a oerwt hsa ayslvt reew evif iemts ;yeras cilftdfui ciesn slymto. Alpn one tou odulw of came it othhtug adn owh tuo my fyunn seoht ot enon netwad i layp amstol nad efli yaw st'i sidiptcnroe uter w)(ehw!. .

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