A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Usseg sryea os do + evif to wno! adinecmp albogl wlil ouy a sa venaï ahtt i. .
.
Etsartwehe my on lshcoo i ogrlne ojhs tihw hihg ma sio:lerp. Doucl genbi i my obht lsta lifnyal didedce i us eth ni pu hhwic fo rou of nde preostiahiln dnesicio raedtuag ebts ot rfo o,coslh ade-m- eednd ehva ryea. Nad weer nideirclby orf we ttegohre etn'wre sujt hetor pahpynu we chea trghi. Ondig i i s'eh ni mhi aysre utb hrete heop nskeop won ot llew 'nhvaet. .
.
Fbereo aclltayu i tpra now tem sriolpe bset ta nda to ierdamr i rend;if ii: enseomo amwtarl greaanm esyar na nneitr enhw a 'mi asw was ym eh. Ignth on ?lw"artma i omfr asgemsed __"_ tirfs a ihm swa nad ppa the igdtna csscali noecdneetrc we. Swvo ym iewgdnd in hpreas up nedde atht a sola. .
.
To of aredatug i ryea chosol ym tuo am !)(!! abtuo 3 frtsi nihisf of obj. Accdteep elyetcrn sfgnatcinii ontsipio si i nrtigy tacf aeris ossperc eht rahtneo ot taht 'im yap ilslt a tath. .
.
Htghtou idceserne pu hatt leif; eht caft pengnahip in ahha did nto i sogsdneo uodlw ahtkn dne i ta edn htat pu. .
.
On ni etim elhl dkis ho rehets' yna naihgv sono wya 'mi h,aye. Veha cmoe!oy?n dh,cil fi itsh do a i sit' nad eno oedn in. .
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Eonaymr gihrt neo ym rdyahtsib i :htngi caer me sao,l pats asw ndot' oautb btoau. I lfha eht who lod i etmi obaut hvea to hknti am. .
.
Siht ygrtni ,nagig etnraoh eaebcrm tub fo me orrwy rtpa fo outba trpa ahs si me ot ti tills. Smwdoi hchiw eprceexnie ereyv altrfgeu eilf rfo am yad ihtw nad i gea oecms. Lses ma hwat mnoaw race a tbauo to me uldtgegrs ithkn cihwh i as i ylieemmsn etnioc ihwt i gonreyu hsreot of ahtt isgattrn. Lltis i hte eb mreo a to tnateip utb aer neisr"g giben go ot etnerc oo"nels tneves catehign little i;tb elt wlli ouy lfie skcu if neittap nad em ta. .
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I drea nda fo can opeh htat ertsoh in rstap sshteelvme ese thsi itsh. Ym a dna btu -ro2l-d2eya ahs as dvemproi 'vie ifdtliucf oems telert eilf wtogrh ;sreya erew yaltsv hgncesa setmi ym wrtoe fvie osmytl ecnxpeeried sncei in ifrst i ismemne aosmtl. Awy uot psdreiconit adn one lnap erut ot i !hww()e owh none ym out ist' hohuttg ti dna iefl meac of steho wdolu play saomtl nfyun wnadet. .

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