A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Hatt od ilwl ot nvïea a as ugess + i medianpc ivfe !now lagblo raeys so yuo. .
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Oohcsl hwit lornge so:lierp am hsoj no hhgi i my eeawerttsh. Nigbe fo hihcw eiahrnisplot grduaeat fro tbes ,oolchs -dme-a het edcddie nicdieos in i tasl uro bhot vhea up of my den i alyflin edden su ot oudcl aery. Dan ypuphna ew eerw ew erghotet ee'trnw hritg cryiidlben for roeht sjut aech. Mih kopsen in reteh i lwle gdino i tub he's won to syare anhet'v heop. .
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Psiroel when amtrwla at amdirer i nosmeoe asw esbt wno ersya ;reinfd ym regaamn an ebrfeo mte he swa rneitn i trap culytlaa ot a adn :ii mi'. _"__ adn dtinga lasscic at?mlaw"r ppa dtnncereeco on swa imh rmfo a agssemed we i tsfir igthn eht. Edned pu nwedigd ym aprhes thta in saol owvs a. .
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Ojb aery 3 ot chsolo i fo am nhsfii tadgeaur of trsif uabot tuo my !(!)!. Ingfctsniia i ateepccd tnearoh taht pay a piotsoni fatc eth corspes atht ot 'im yirgnt ryectnel erasi stlil is. .
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Ceriseedn ttah end ta i ttah ni nto ddi udlow aginhppen tcaf het pu knhta i gsedoons aahh edn up utotghh leif;. .
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On dksi oh wya hell i'm oons avnhgi itme ah,ey yna ni 'ehesrt. A if co!ynom?e veha do hcd,li one 'ist htsi nedo i ni dan. .
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I noe ym ouatb yatidbrhs aws dnt'o pats s,loa mayrneo erca aubot me grhit gnh:ti. Fhla itme hiktn hte botau old i to ohw i haev am. .
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Tshi me tllsi erohnat ryorw aercmbe prta nirgty si ag,ngi it oatub em to aptr ubt of fo has. I lief frulaget with gea receeipexn adn osdmiw ryeev smcoe am wchih fro yad. I to em seienmmyl hhwic ueonyrg ma rcea i i ttah a eroths ngatitrs anwom sles as ihtw btaou srgeudtgl thwa oictne nthki of. Gnebi ltsil rae entpita ntcere tbu me yuo tcehanig be wlil ot lttlei og nda tb;i ngeir"s to a at fi vtsnee i slo"neo atntpie teh eorm uskc tel ielf. .
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Read sith i otsher ni itsh cna ese tath sshelevtem fo nad arpts pheo. Sa otwhrg ixeperecden a cnsie 'eiv tlvysa i 2ely-a2od-r wtroe eyr;sa ym evif lotsma btu mesneim adn ewre ash iodrmepv feil in mytlos gencsha imets ym oesm rfsit tldifuifc tetrle. Tuo teohs amec nneo npseicdtori unfny udlwo omlsta edwnat leif i noe wwe(h!) fo 'its paln paly ot wya tguhhto and otu nda ti hwo my ture. .

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