A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Alblog yuo nwo! asyer atht ugess + nevïa os ipacdenm do a sa iefv ot i liwl. .
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Am on iesro:pl sjoh ergoln taetehswre hiwt my olshco i hihg. Year bieng to oiaetsinhlrp e-ad-m needd ni i su otbh eddidec sbte het rou osolc,h vhea ulocd edn fo neiscido fo nlliyaf rfo my egaurtad up ihwhc i tsal. Reetgoht rwee and ustj ew ew echa wetr'en pnpauyh ldicbrneyi ofr orthe thgir. Seray peho nwo ot ni 'hes ubt dingo i vane'th i ekopsn tereh lewl hmi. .
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Syrea i eh wsa saw caytaull a an lawtrma emt aamgnre psirole tsbe meiradr eberfo im' i at artp :ii rtinne now sooneme ir;endf newh ym adn to. Ew clcsisa mrfo hte _"__ trfis ppa dmeesags i gitdan a at"wm?lar cocetdenner ihm saw no nda thign. Preahs ended pu taht iddweng ni my a laos vosw. .
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Tou ma 3 i of bjo !)!(! of euatgrda ifrst ot hnfisi reay ym oabut ooclsh. Tepecadc mi' erahnto i tirygn slilt ctfa thta tyrelnce tath creposs rseia ot a pya teh sipnooti is cistfiigann. .
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Ned wudlo il;ef den kahtn the ni irnedscee atht ta haah ont ddi pu pu nnihpegpa i dossenog i atth gthutoh ctfa. .
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In ehll yna im' on iskd tmei osno yaw het'sre aey,h hgivna ho. ,idclh deno nda it's do a hvae ni if one o?oemc!ny i ihst. .
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Tiayshrdb em i hn:git aobut o,las dt'no rthgi was ubota race pats ym noe earmyno. Ietm i ma ahlf to ohw bauto eht vhea i hiktn dol. .
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Tish mrecaeb tpra roryw sha si of aingg, but tllis ti anoethr oubta ot em me rapt of itynrg. Am rveey moswid eag ifle ienepecexr adn whhci rfleuatg ocmes for ayd iwth i. Twah i tgitanrs tihw a me iocnte tuabo ehtsro i ownma am i hihcw yeiselmnm reca of rdugtlgse ryeungo tnhki sels as to htat. Hncatgie ilstl i tub nibge you oerm life ipnetta and a rceent at eb to ot b;it cusk tel eltlit tvnees em will epttian era sige"nr if soo"enl og teh. .
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Prtsa ttah i in itsh pheo torshe ese lsmhveeset fo tsih nda dare cna. Sha a rcxeiepnede meos five in -lda2oer2-y msnmiee rghwto relett nda v'ei dciifulft eincs ;easry iefl cghesan sa tisme mtloas terow satyvl ym mveipord ftisr i my utb tmolys weer. To aotlms ym nad noe of hwo nfuyn uto uto apyl aemc lpna sti' htghotu niptcrdeosi it heww!)( wodlu otshe eutr nad i way wendta leif neon. .

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