A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od lgalbo uesgs a emndacip uyo so iwll eïvna ievf taht !now syear to sa i +. .
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Psirelo: am hghi ym hitw no i lhsoco nerlog ohsj eethawrset. Oineidsc ayer doclu hbto ofr ot iiseatrpnloh su tueardag hte i eedcddi haev dnede ned ym fo ,ohocls pu ebst in hchwi ienbg i nlaylif ltsa m--dae rou fo. Ew ew tjsu orf rgtih orhte nrdcblieiy npuayph and etthroeg eerw et'wenr eahc. Nskpoe i hs'e hmi rsyea 'enhatv won ni but ehop ot iodng rethe lewl i. .
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Na ctylalau ym bset ehnw emiardr ta adn enmarga trap i alwatrm 'mi swa now ioesrlp ot oerfeb a he tenrni fend;ri smeoneo :ii swa i met yersa. I was r"wma?tla accsisl cnceoetrdne githn ___" geamesds adn ormf rtisf mih on ew eht a dniatg pap. Swov ddnee ahtt in pu hapers lsao ym enwddgi a. .
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Tou guatadre of i !!(!) isfihn bjo to ma reya atbou 3 tsrfi fo ym oslohc. I ttah tfca ptnsioio israe mi' to si ttha ltsli neraoht a eht etelcrny patceecd ospecrs pay cngiaiitsfn ingytr. .
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Fl;ei ddi aenhginpp hatt oenssgod the eerisnecd kthan taht i pu i end ni tacf den ta ludow haha up httgohu not. .
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Osno 'im ho nay lehl ksid hnigav ni 'teeshr eah,y yaw no temi. !ye?moocn a i ihst ni hlc,id ehav tsi' od odne oen and if. .
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Psta gntih: htrgi o,als wsa noe em touba tbaou nto'd asdrthiyb my i emyroan aecr. Tkhin hwo i ma tuoab alfh mite i eht ahev ot lod. .
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Ti ot ,gniga fo owryr cermaeb sha em utb ingtry itsll me is atrp htsi fo hrotnea uaotb trpa. Wodmis adn i pcxneeeier fglrteau orf ma ifle whcih gae ayd wiht ryeve cmoes. Inkth fo ouyerng obuta sthreo i ma a onmwa i tenico iseynemml slutgdreg whit wihch to i thta sa erca attgnsri me wtha elss. ;ibt intpate igr"ens litlte a eth me llwi bnieg to encrte on"lose rae i elfi kucs tub eb if etsevn tle to moer nad isllt inegchta uoy at og iepnatt. .
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Ni nda thta daer i of asrpt ophe eelhevtssm can hseotr hits ihts see. Rmedivpo vaylst sa e'iv yomstl incse setmi pereeincxde fevi hwtrog ilfe nmeeims i lmasot eoms rewe l-d-2yraeo2 btu acngesh my etrow a nda ettelr ash ni ym aeyr;s stirf dififuclt. Nneo toshe it i came nad lomast pesrnicdito play yaw nfyun 'its fo one teur loduw my httghuo uot nalp out dnatwe ot who ww)h(!e lief dna. .

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