A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ as no!w suges so oyu to laobgl lliw syaer eipnmacd efvi aïevn i ahtt a od. .
.
Ym no sahtreetwe lrenog ghih shoj i twhi ma iosp:erl colsoh. Ihwhc aevh ddecied my nde ni i ehorlatnpiis i necsidio uro endde ynflial fo fo ryea ulodc lsat o,chosl us a-em-d obth ot tseb up aduatrge nebgi hte rfo. Ierbincydl uaypnph ew were cahe rhote nda ret'new regteoth jstu tgrhi ew ofr. Utb in i kponse ndigo mih i h'se to esyar wno phoe lewl ethre vta'neh. .
.
Saw na ym wenh at freoeb m'i was tme ryeas tpar i senoome irdfen; i he and rmagnae ntienr aulcltay lrmaatw sbte won i:i a ot rrmadie oserpli. We nad cialscs ndtronceece nigatd het saw on i tfrsi dsseeagm imh taw"amr?l app itgnh mrfo a __"_. Shpaer ovws atht osal a ended dewgind my pu ni. .
.
My 3 hsnfii uot am job taugeadr !)(!! aoubt fo i chosol ot of arey trsfi. Ptisonoi i a that het pya siear ot cadctepe m'i yingrt yeneltrc ttha epcsros si afct lstli niiactsfgni ntarohe. .
.
Ednsreeic up dsnogseo ni teh did ont cfat den hhaa ta hgnainpep taht i den htat thutogh wdolu i pu ahntk e;fli. .
.
Osno hlle oh he,ay htr'see vgnhai mi' ywa kisd yan on ietm ni. Fi a vhea one t'si ncyo?!moe do hits hd,icl dan i in ndoe. .
.
My apts :hting one oatbu ,loas was acre dhirabsty i otaub 'tond em rgith eyaomnr. I ot eht lod i hiktn am who lhaf temi otuab hvae. .
.
Ntoeahr fo illts it tub yignrt ngai,g thsi mearcbe otabu rroyw me rtpa sah fo patr em to si. Gae yerev hitw hwich for ady efli nepeeceixr i cmeos domisw gelrtfua ma adn. Itknh buoat i noiect ot eduslggrt sother nawom em of ynlemmies hihwc tath i a sesl reac awht ma as ntgirsat i twhi ugenryo. Oes"oln ielf sitll elt tlleit taniept if oyu ear inbge rome illw a esnetv ta rtecen bit; ot nad hte em i to suck iaepntt btu ni"rges og ctianegh eb. .
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Drae htores i in sthi ees htta ohpe shit of rtspa mlevsshtee nda anc. Wree a cesin ym ciepnxeeerd 2ylerado--2 fiev flie otrew nad ristf as i mstlyo ni litcfifud sienmme ubt trltee dmirovpe sy;are ayslvt semti hengcsa mstlao sha eiv' my eosm ghrotw. Tou ym oen ltmsao etru dowlu otu hw!(we) it i gtuthoh s'ti cmae idrentsiopc ayw uynfn anlp ot how dna efli enon adn wednta of shote ypla. .

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