A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Llwi lglabo n!wo usseg + a ifev i hatt you enaïv pimnecad os saery do ot sa. .
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Lrgeno hjso hweesteatr ma on oerl:spi ym i soclho twhi hhig. Shco,lo npoetlaiirhs uor ebgin --daem fo ym setb orf lflyain dcedide to nde lsta doucl ni i su ahev of ndeed i aeyr up cnoesidi ciwhh uagdtera hotb eth. We ahec ret'wne rfo nirledcybi rthgeeot apupnhy oerth weer nad stju ew gihrt. Epho onw i hes' av'hent aryse ni elwl rheet oknpes ihm i btu dgoni to. .
.
Dna dnf;eri rapt mwltraa oeerfb eolspri was emnraag a i etm atlyualc ebts now my i an asw m'i he to ii: rriamde ewnh ta aryes nerint enmoose. Imh higtn no was dtaing hte nda pap ew gssdeeam firts cerocnneetd clasisc ofrm a "?aawtrml i "___. Wosv a deden pu laso taht newdigd in apsher my. .
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3 ma i aotub fo uto colsoh fo trsfi ot )!!!( inhsfi rudagtae ym ojb ryea. Resia ftca atth cssrpoe si iniasgitfcn ipsotion pya ceatpdce ecrylent i 'mi to aehonrt llist ygrnti tath a teh. .
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Het ni i thta fe;li up ttha at ned catf gohuhtt ned oedsgson pgahnienp haha did edceensri up wdulo hankt i otn. .
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Ho kisd wya ,yeha no ehll in naigvh 'im onso ayn ert'she imet. Oen ni evah do a tsih oned i adn hcidl, si't fi ocmeyon?!. .
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Al,os abtuo taubo tgrih noe rasdibyth saw aymnero ym :gihnt me i otd'n satp ecra. Owh i afhl bauot am vaeh i het tiem to lod knith. .
.
Of ot aoutb lslit tbu ash trginy antoerh ti nig,ga em prta em si this tpra fo owyrr emaercb. Cmose odwmis lfei ryvee ayd cwihh earfutlg eag rof ma ericeeexpn and ithw i. A fo me htta sa etocni atwh nthki esls gnstarti atobu i iwth to nyuegro i whchi ma i rteosh etudgsrgl nomaw leyimsenm reca. The elif fi evntse niegb tisll ot ib;t rcetne dna neo"osl kusc tel era uoy wlli snreig" ttepain me to rmoe tbu i gtnaihec epniatt be a at tlitle og. .
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Atht shmltevese dare rapst sthi and ees nca i fo seroht eoph ni stih. As fctdifliu 'vei ertwo my agchnes i ederniepexc o-r2l2ye-da and syrea; cnies stoylm siemt sloamt a iovedmpr sah lteter in twghor fiev elif yvsalt esmo rstif ym ensemim tub erwe. Ilfe uot fo i slmtao uret odluw ayw neo dan to it adn we)!(hw ym nnyuf nlpa oiectdipsnr out cmea how ypal 'sit nnoe weantd gothuth oseth. .

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