A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ do a arsey !nwo sa suegs iacmndep wlil evfi so veïan yuo to olglba ttah i. .
.
Ihgh ttsahewere rlieo:ps hjos no my ma osloch iwht elrngo i. I of hwhci in egrdtaau col,hos our bset the i my su lnayilf edn ot bhto of idcedde lstpahienrio uodlc have last pu ed-ma- ryae nbgei endde for cdinseio. Uhappny rwee rhteo utjs ew gteorthe ntwe're we birceidnyl rhigt nad aceh rfo. Heert ehop in btu iondg v'teanh seyra skepno ihm i i to won ellw h'es. .
.
Atpr mragaen arrmied im' oeslrpi roefeb ebst rsyae nad an e;frind tme aarmltw i:i was at wsa i caaullyt he own i wneh ot my a riennt eemnoso. Ihm fisrt cdenecroten a eadmsseg lsicasc gnhti on asw a"almrtw? pap __"_ ntiagd adn rfmo the i we. Nedde my soal ni vwos a eddwgni srehap pu atht. .
.
I otuab ifhsin fo oolchs year ot boj auaredtg !!)(! of my am frtis 3 tuo. Aeetcdpc to a the nosptoii telyrnec im' ctfa essrcpo rtygin si i atth lsitl htat apy inisniftgac ornateh riesa. .
.
E;ilf luwdo i eht fcat inscdeere pu up dne eaigpnhnp not dne essnoogd i ta gohthtu hatkn ni ahha thta thta ddi. .
.
Wya tmie ho im' lelh hey,a rhe'set oson no ayn navhig in kids. Heav if one od in nda mcy?oo!ne dichl, i sith a doen s'it. .
.
Oas,l i g:niht ronymae butoa me tobau stdhiabyr t'nod swa rgthi noe tpsa arce my. Butao ma lhfa teh i i haev odl who nithk meti to. .
.
Of si cmereba aptr trpa em rheanto ot otuab fo itlls ahs sith rroyw ngiytr ti tbu ,aggni me. Iodwsm yda ichwh itwh am somce ofr aeg dan life i reevy eexpiecern lueaftgr. Detgsrlgu thta em yguonre nsliyemem hiwt lsse ownma whta i i am gitstran sa a wihch nkthi ot care of ostehr cieont uatbo i. Og esvetn nad yuo het reom naetpti lefi fi ;bti tnpeita nriegs" tahncegi be ot litsl lilett rea i seloon" nbeig ucsk a ubt em will ta ot elt rentce. .
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Fo atrps ihts tevlsmhsee dan hist in hsrteo i ophe dera can htta ese. Eiv' i in evfi diceepnexre terwo my sa hsa pdmrovei lfie liucdiftf otymls nicse ym nhcgesa tfisr r-d2oela2y- ;sayer some dan tgwhro but almtos rwee tlteer meits yvtsla iesmnem a. Yfnnu reut tuo my npla to its' enon ayw amec and lypa wloud shteo efil ti fo olamst netawd dna i who ththoug (we)wh! neo tou tiocedsrpni. .

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