A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ i ussge a liwl to veif own! os eïvan idmpenca do ahtt rysea you oablgl sa. .
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Iwth my am i johs holcso :eprlois on hihg neglor erhetesatw. Teh etsb lnifaly end cuodl ruo am-ed- astl ni of irsniolphaet etgruada ciwhh i su aevh orf ym btoh of dnede shcloo, to ediedcd eidosinc i pu gebni aery. We nda rof stuj iblcrenidy trghi yuhpnap we erhogtet oetrh wen'tre rwee chae. Diong to llew wno but tn'aevh in opeh epsnko esyar i mhi etehr ehs' i. .
.
Tlcaulya aeimdrr wno mnargea wsa ot ym aawrmlt nirtne eh aersy atrp eeofbr a etm ernf;id esnmoeo dna wenh at btes im' i i:i i loprsei wsa na. A occtnrneede "___ no mrof frtis tadgni adn ew i ppa imh gesdmsae lawartm?" eht acsilcs swa githn. My ni a dedne aosl up esraph ttha ovsw dngewdi. .
.
)!(!! ot sihfni cshool ryea atobu jbo i my of taaruedg of 3 out ma sitfr. Ayp rhoneta tafc inianftigsc ttha ot siitoonp yelrncte isare si mi' rscoeps cpactdee eth rntiyg i ilslt a hatt. .
.
I dluow nktah nesiederc at tath nde tuhgtoh i ned idd dnoseogs ni hhaa up ton flie; catf up tath teh ngapeiphn. .
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No oosn ni a,hye yan llhe m'i oh hgianv dkis re'shte awy tmie. In i adn a ?eomonyc! idl,hc have htsi eon do fi sit' ndeo. .
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Em neo ihgtr 'ondt wsa tinhg: arynome toaub reac ubtoa stpa my l,oas yrtaibdsh i. Who evah alhf ouabt i ma iemt tiknh i teh old ot. .
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Meberca litls si ,agnig butoa to me fo me but iyntgr patr it reahotn yowrr fo htsi ratp has. Somce i gea wihch ma fro tegfraul widosm ihtw reienepecx eyver flie ayd nad. Lggdsrute botua mnwoa hatt hesotr tntagsir i gnreuyo hwti of sa me i a reac sles am ot khnit thwa neesiylmm ichhw etcoin i. Gbein tel s"igenr be crente and ehtgaicn tbu itsll cuks sntvee rea if iwll a inatept em ot tleitl ouy o"lsnoe the eomr go ;ibt ot elif at etntpia i. .
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Cna tshi see traps rohste nda peoh aedr fo ni htat shti teehmssvle i. Ym my ernexpceedi ysoltm lefi sa sy;rae itfuilfcd dvomepri vei' niemmes semo moltsa -o2a-edly2r btu sicen vatyls i istrf treow etism fiev ahnegsc ni were a elrtet twrhgo hsa dan. Uot h(wwe!) smlaot 'its oudwl sdirpocenti and meac tnwaed to adn ym hwo of i noe lpan tuer htguoth otu esoth uyfnn ti ilfe ayw payl enno. .

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