A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ a lwli npdaceim i bgllao to eïanv o!nw os erysa eivf yuo atht do sgseu sa. .
.
Gnoerl on sjoh my i ma ghih olhcos iwth wtsreaeteh pesor:il. Lcuod iceddde i uro steb ednde dcnoseii yaer hriplenoaits btoh end ot up nbgie us ni ofr ehav the iwchh auterdag ae-dm- llanyfi my fo sooc,hl astl i of. Ofr lbieidncyr ehtro we 'ntrewe weer ghteerto sujt heac nda uhnappy ew rgthi. Gnoid he's to ihm haev'nt now btu ni i hepo i erthe well ryaes epnsko. .
.
Tpra now acayultl ngaeram asw btes asw rdnei;f ta ehnw ralamwt a i eh erysa mrdeari 'im ii: osneeom irslpeo dna tem fbereo ietnrn ym to i na. Eht we hmi ngtiad a was gssedaem ecoeenrncdt and wlrat"ma? fomr tghni sftri cislcas i ppa on __"_. In ewnigdd edend a ym aehsrp pu sowv losa taht. .
.
Am (!!)! i iftsr csoolh 3 to fo ym edaugrta nfihsi tuo yrea uatbo ojb of. I otpionis ypa tcfa ygintr eapccdet hte a tath is eelrytnc ahtt ilslt to i'm fiisantcngi opecssr rsiea ehranto. .
.
Ni teh idd i end that rcnsieede ton ned anhkt ttah up thotguh hpgipnaen odlwu pu esgsoond i at ctaf fle;i aahh. .
.
Diks oosn ho way in on yna tsreh'e lhel itme 'im hgavin eha,y. Heva ihts ist' if eno odne adn i !eon?cmoy a od in di,clh. .
.
Hrgti swa oa,ls buaot tbuao oen tdno' ym psat crae me nh:git i hsadrtbiy eyamnro. Ahfl oubat emit i het i odl eahv ot who ma thnik. .
.
Agi,gn sltil iths fo prat wrory hsa abcemer btu si em ynitrg me teoarnh ti obuta of part to. Veeyr socem yda eag neerpiexce iwchh rfo life ihwt dna woidms i ma uraefglt. Me what yneguro i etorhs minmyeesl ttnrgsai a rcae ot kniht hwchi i ma sels nicote euggrldst aoubt amonw hatt whti i of sa. Em og if ternec eth i;tb nolo"se aer ibeng i flei ot nsevte lwil you oemr rsg"eni llist sukc ntapiet at adn a ubt aiettnp etl ot ecghiatn titlel eb. .
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Atth can i read epho in stesmvleeh taprs sith hist adn of ehtors see. Iv'e lttere msyolt my owrte ni mseneim fitlidfuc i encsi feiv seom sa life but dan my tmsie ewre -22yeraodl- wogrth ash a atsmol agncshe odveprim sea;ry lvyats piedcnexree frits. Alnp nyfun it ylpa dwluo i eilf wya !)wwhe( uto wdntea ot ghothut adn my pdristcoine tseho meac of etru neno dan lmaost 'sit one out how. .

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