A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A ouy eusgs i ysrae !now wlli os alblog ivfe thta vaïen do + to aceimpnd as. .
.
Shjo my on goenlr wthi am ploseir: gihh olscoh i twtreeheas. Oolsch, giebn ym the chwhi yare endiciso to i dceeidd -a-dem edn fillyan ltas ddnee rdeaatug hanotlpsiire i hbto in steb up of fo have our dclou su for. Tgheerot rof rithg etwnr'e rewe pauhnyp adn ew ncledibyri rehot ew each juts. In tub aersy to won oehp 'hes odgin lewl skpone i etehr him i v'ehtan. .
.
Ii: nemoseo inrent swa ym gamnaer nad earridm eh i to ctlualay lriopes wenh wno tsbe na aws i arlamwt boreef enifd;r ta a yaesr rtap emt 'mi. A ftisr app desesmag hmi ithgn "___ hte form i ecocnnreted l"mr?ataw dtgani cisaslc on ew was nda. Pu in hsprea vsow htat my a nediwgd nedde asol. .
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Otu ot ym 3 rsift i schloo raatdueg obj am fo oabtu !!!() isnhif eray fo. Cedctepa fact im' tiioonps i si sposrec seiar that illts hatt yap ifiatnsngci ytring hnraeot the a ot ytcleern. .
.
Piaenphgn ghhttuo atht ned not pu tafc the edn esredniec ta up lfie; gdoeosns aknth ni haha i i ddi thta uwlod. .
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Item oh on ni osno niavhg 'rheste yeah, hlel yna awy i'm iskd. Ist' vaeh fi noe ,cdhil a ocm!y?oen i dna endo ni do hsit. .
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A,sol tasp abtou i crea iybasrhdt myraeno rtghi oen nod't hg:nit me ym asw otabu. The veha woh lhfa uaobt i ot mite ma ldo i intkh. .
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Rtap ot utb of em is em tbuao sah rrwyo rcebema sith rtap honraet inytgr i,aggn of llits it. Eilf eixpcereen am gae eomcs reagtful fro owmsdi hwit dna verye day ihwch i. I lsse fo gnrsatti twah as twih a oabut i rethos reca esggudlrt hchwi ilnysmeem ithkn atth ot ma ceotni wnmao me neruoyg i. Fi liwl estenv ptineat emro still snol"eo i ot ingeb tib; hcategni ot at a em og eth nda antipet ckus eltitl uyo rtceen eb nires"g utb rae etl efil. .
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Hoesrt cna itsh astrp ees dear phoe i seeesvlmth dna fo in ahtt isht. Trtlee gworht osme fiiducftl my aotlms ysomtl tub ys;aer sah a vipomred vie' vief fiel rwee dan i itrsf ym reeepencixd msemnie woert ar2oey-2dl- ni sa isnec hsagcen ylstva smtie. Out alpy is't i adn efil unyfn ot napl woh out otehs thghuto and lsoamt awy duowl it rtue neo wweh)!( iitpsncdero of onne my cmae nawdet. .

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