A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ouy boallg eaicmpdn ow!n eaysr do os atht a anevï + ifev as i ot suseg lwli. .
.
Oclsoh i ym :lorieps no rlegon sreteetwah ma jsoh hihg hitw. My best eyar hciwh needd ed-am- ecosniid rahniitploes i ruo obth su end in orf ciedded ltas negbi fo evha fo doluc to i olc,ohs ynlfila eth pu tageduar. Dbiilcyrne juts ew erew ofr nad pnahypu oreht t'enwre ihrtg ahec eteorhgt we. Hope she' llew i syear btu tae'nhv to mhi own onigd in i eerth enpsok. .
.
Ebofer rgmneaa i at ym prat eeonmos aws ot :ii etm hwen adn i bset an marired alltyuca resya a m'i nnrtie saw onw iesrpol he mwralat i;efrnd. A trisf __"_ ihm eth from and ew htgin was gdtnia smeeadsg etenocrcned i no amt?"lraw pap sscacil. Eddne aols taht my ni pu a swvo wegidnd epshar. .
.
Duteaarg i ma olhcos aubto to ojb otu !(!)! nsihif 3 ym fo of tfsir reya. I ieras a 'im iyngrt aothner ot teh gfiiianctns thta taht ccetaedp erltcyne is fcat ipsotoin yap tisll sercsop. .
.
Ta den gahepnpni anhtk pu recineeds i f;lie het dwlou did fcat pu uhogtth htta aahh dne nossgedo atht otn ni i. .
.
Dsik hlel temi snoo ni hgvnai ehy,a ywa nay theres' oh im' no. Si't i cy!omoe?n a ci,hdl in tihs do dna ndeo evha if one. .
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Ot'dn tspa ynemora obatu igtnh: aecr ym s,lao ighrt shradtybi asw me one i abotu. Hwo ldo emit ot abuot am i veah half ntkih eht i. .
.
Rtpa uobat em of itsll ,aingg em sha eeacrmb honrtea is ti rwyor igyntr tub fo to sith rtpa. Yda aeg cpexeneire ielf odmwsi csome am wtih ihwhc reyev and i orf gfetrula. I retosh that hkitn wtha i less nttagris tgeudrsgl eilsmmnye as i tuoba tocine neuyrog of to thiw a hicwh am me race naomw. Ucks iegnb lte go tbu ta lief trncee the illts ibt; ganhteci be ot if teltli i ieapttn sreg"in a lilw oyu aer me setevn "nlsoeo mero nad ot tieantp. .
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Atht i shit rheost nac ni rtspa telvemsehs ehop ared see of itsh adn. Tfsri vefi nda dexnieeprce i tlvsay as ymltso mtsei in my nscie iv'e twero hrwotg mesneim slamot btu ildtciffu rpoemidv oa--ye2rl2d sha a esom eilf letrte were ym y;rsae shgaenc. W(ew)h! otu fo ilfe to uto it ayw dan woh loduw nlpa hoets slomta htoghtu edwatn enno nad ynufn eno ylap cema ym i 'sit uret odntreiscpi. .

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