A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lolagb paneicmd will ot ïavne onw! a as i ttah os iefv do uyo + sguse arsey. .
.
Ttherewesa hjso with i ernlgo ihhg ma my no oslper:i losoch. Of ,olcsoh deend htseorilnpia reya ot uor ni eth ym i fo flialny vhea boht ecsonidi loduc eceddid hiwhc binge pu i end gaduater aem--d tebs slat su ofr. Adn pnuyahp eewr tenr'ew irenylbdci heort orf hrteteog hcea hrgti we sutj ew. I erhte ot nkoeps ndigo te'hvna hepo lwle yesra wno but e'sh in mih i. .
.
At was edfi;rn nwo pilrsoe clatlayu lwaramt smneooe ot rsyae diarerm he na a ntrein was dna aeamrng i my aptr nhew i met i'm ii: steb forebe. Nthig hte i no eoctdenncer tmla?awr" gasemdes orfm ciascsl srtif nda ppa we a __"_ mih dnaigt wsa. Ni ahtt idnwdeg hrsaep ddeen ovws ym a pu lsao. .
.
Uaeagtrd 3 bjo yrea nhsiif of tuabo )!!(! fo frsit ma i ym tuo to olcsoh. A hrtaeon srseopc the si asinitfcnig pitosnio i siaer atepcedc lstil pay lenrtyec gnyrit thta ahtt ot actf 'mi. .
.
I fl;ei tcfa ahtt at reeisdnce ktahn uwodl ni up othhgtu the did nphagnpei i dne haah tno pu esodogns den atht. .
.
Reeh'ts oons oh ayw lhle y,aeh 'mi tmie ni kids avnhgi on yna. L,dich ehav one neod me!c?oyon in i od a fi and ihts st'i. .
.
Tobau raec me 'dont eno wsa nyorema ptas i ihrtg tgn:ih ,osal my aubot stdraibhy. Dlo hfla thnik to i imte hte aubot ma vahe i how. .
.
Listl si ai,ngg fo tyirgn fo prat me to ihts obtau tpra em ywrro tub it abecrem ntaorhe ash. Eag i adn rgefulta ma mwoisd eepxnceeir ady ofr mecso verey elfi wihch twih. Em lienymsme fo i gurtegsdl atht arce i wnamo nikth lses ot i ngeouyr iotecn hseotr am a as tbauo ntagsirt chihw wtih ahwt. Sltil eht llwi kucs and utb i tnietpa lte yuo rnteec og taptnie ilfe eb era neibg geanctih nsoo"le ta lletti ;itb is"negr to if ot a em rmeo esnvet. .
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I acn dna isht hetsor ehop rstpa hsemlvtsee htis atht rdae ees of in. Tub a ewre snhegca in hsa rohwtg i smtaol nda evi' tsiem sa tfisr eivf esmnmei ;eyras toewr smoe eelrtt my 2orye-2dl-a tfldfuici tvalsy flei lysomt my dmvoperi ipxeeecnder eiscn. Lief neno lanp udlwo olatms etru dna i uot yapl awy ot mcae of w(w!he) otehs utothhg ufnny woh wdante it one i'ts noiespcdtri uot ym dna. .

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