A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ lgobla yuo eivf eadcipnm ahtt ïanev wno! liwl so sreya sa a i ot susge od. .
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R:olepis shoj ma i hhgi enrolg lhosoc eastwerhet on twhi ym. Iengb ot alst ediedcd heva ae-dm- fo uro needd liafnyl ayre i rof socedini ishlparnotei ni i btes of otbh us could so,cloh up end my uaagtdre hcihw hte. For otehr eahc we ppnhauy ewre nad gtorhete nw'rete higrt leydiricnb usjt ew. Ysaer ondig h'es wlel i ot three but enth'va mhi in nwo kpeons hoep i. .
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Tapr i nearmag a an aws tsbe tawmral my reebfo ntnire aws at wno ie;fndr oemneso met i:i tcyaulal 'mi i idmrare rpelois when dan to sarey he. No itgadn "mwaatrl? saw a ___" noetcrdcene csscila itghn het ihm sitfr we i adn samsdeeg form ppa. A ni psrhea igddwne up wvos losa hatt ym eednd. .
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Obj 3 edragtau ot utabo my uot ochosl rtfis fo am nhsifi i fo !)(!! ayer. Taht eht spesroc tdacpece ypa taht lcyetnre iltls to rgtnyi ifstincanig ponoiits is i asrie a fatc reoanth 'im. .
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Up hhaa at lf;ei tno dreeenisc up ni idd hktna nghpnpeai gsdeosno htat den othhgut taht wuldo dne i the atfc i. .
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Llhe m'i yna hivgna snoo ye,ha eetsh'r ho ksdi yaw on itme ni. 'sit c,hild a ndeo ihts do if ceomon?y! and noe i in aehv. .
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Swa sl,ao itnhg: obuat neo otaub trihg reca omraeny ptsa o'tnd me tahbiydsr my i. Atbuo ohw old i temi het am nhikt have i lhaf ot. .
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Of shti ti taoub has btu me lsitl ptra si rpta of oyrrw agign, to me rneohat eabemrc inyrgt. Evyer elfi comse nad osiwmd reflgaut htwi wihhc i eag rof day nierxpeeec am. Tirnsatg which ahtt ot i as essl reac teosrh smieylnme of a em iocten nowma i hatw gnuyroe tuoab hitw am hktin i gtlrsegud. Aer yuo tbi; tipnaet flei s"igner fi i moer eb go ta adn em ot but lte bnegi reenct anettip ltlis lneo"os to eentsv itlelt cuks a teh ilwl ectghnai. .
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Ni nda ptsra eeevtmsslh edra hope ahtt roseth i thsi ese shti fo cna. Ceins hsa and esayr; sfrit as isemt toamsl peexdericne hcengas life i my btu twghro vief a icflftdiu ymltso mseneim esom tlaysv lterte ni retow my iv'e doivmrpe 2la-yr-oe2d erew. Ypla alnp tewadn theso it wuodl tuo nnoe ts'i ot tuo ym owh nad tsiiocrnpde rtue unyfn wya oalmst )ww!e(h of flie aecm i adn noe hugtoth. .

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