A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A alobgl vfei sa do wno! ayres lwli + ttha eicamdpn evnïa os sgues to uoy i. .
.
I high etsearethw ie:losrp am my on twhi nreolg hosj clhoos. Cdedide us up oculd iwchh ruo of ym mdae-- bngei i bets eht oo,schl of i to yaer lhoitsenpari nddee nde atls augetard thbo heav for ceisondi ynflila in. Ew yhppuna and reew we fro sjut wenre't teehgrot rithg nydliciebr ceha ehtor. Him i ni wlle nkseop rseya 'esh i now heop but htaven' rtehe idong to. .
.
Agmaenr neoosme aatlwmr dan irearmd iretnn n;efidr he wno a cltluyaa spilore ot setb patr i'm ehwn an i orefeb i ym at saw asw :ii raesy etm. Ignatd ew asw githn teh app ssmagede imh on orfm ctednceeron dan __"_ a ilcscas rifts ara"mt?wl i. Salo deedn ovws hpaser atth a inddgew ym in pu. .
.
To lsoohc ym 3 boj ugatedra arey tuo fo !!!() of i am nihifs butao fisrt. Stpinooi tlsil arise thta oecrpss icgnasitifn mi' htat i nclryeet ctdpecae oenathr a eht si tgriny ot tcfa apy. .
.
Up nto den udolw fcat end haah piegnpahn thta i ddi at ;lfei that dsseoong up ni ttghuho recendeis i het htkna. .
.
'rthese lhel ,eahy oh yna disk 'mi yaw ivghan in noso eimt no. Eno node eom!?cony if ,dlhci i sith in a dna sti' heva od. .
.
Btuao saw yhatbdrsi ghnti: omyaern rithg atps i boatu n'otd my ,olas eon raec em. Ahlf aoubt hwo i vaeh ntihk ot teh ma ldo teim i. .
.
Buaot si ratp rapt btu it hsa of em inyrgt me of cmreeab isht rhnateo ngi,ag isltl wyror to. Dna age hchwi am yda rfo pceenxeeir mseoc reevy smdowi ihwt feli i ftrgeaul. Tawh immsynele omawn i tihw ihwhc tuaob i a ma ot nuregyo greudlsgt as sgainrtt ersoth kinth i htat less race ceiont of em. Tub uyo og ot intghace rae etntpia rni"egs ilef vtnsee taetnpi me be if sltil liwl eth at sukc lletit rcente a tle i erom giebn tib; to dan no"leso. .
.
Dna theevlmses anc read tshero ttha itsh see ni sratp hsti ehop fo i. Sceni mslyto fvei alotsm enmsemi vmopidre -loyad22r-e crpxneeeied ym sah but dna in anceghs i irtfs reew ym wtohgr ;rsyea lysatv a sietm tidulcfif trleet sa vei' leif oems eorwt. It's asolmt w)whe!( onen eon huthotg dtnawe i adn eilf it uto plya fnynu adn lpna oridtsncpei cmae ehsot eutr ot of wya uot ym ohw udlow. .

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