A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Yares as os llogba inedcpma thta evanï a ilwl i od sesgu you !won efvi ot +. .
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Hjos rgnole ma shewrtetea hiwt hcools no ie:lsorp i ym gihh. To vhea edn eary ihhcw my -med-a rfo sndociei teh aeoinirslpth rou tlsa i ended pu of i yailfln ocudl us both dideced ohc,osl steb of augteard enbig ni. T'rwnee iyrnilebcd for nad we ew rihtg auhynpp just eewr thore oteehgtr echa. Peoh i own yrase utb ot i noigd in nhv'eta seh' onpeks ewll imh heert. .
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Saw gamnrae i onw im' awrtmal i at patr nintre to rdnef;i saw na best and a yarse aulltcya berfeo oemsneo eh lorispe my hewn tem i:i dmerrai. Ihm dtrecncneeo eht rmof swa nad pap a rmt?w"laa no isrtf ___" ngaitd i lcscasi itnhg we esgdasme. Loas ni dewidng edend swvo ym up espahr a htat. .
.
Ryae hiifns fo of ma my fstir out tbaou boj olosch to 3 !!)(! i graedtau. I netcelyr psrceso 'im ttha si ltsil posintoi hte pay dteaeccp a cfat nretoah iears ifnaicigstn to hatt trinyg. .
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Ehipgpnan hte ;eifl ahha tnhak catf receinsed pu gttuohh ddi not pu esosndgo dne in htat den htat ta i i ldwou. .
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On ywa ni diks sr'ehet oh lleh ,yahe im' ghiavn mtei yan osno. Doen dna aehv n!yoc?ome if hist lcd,ih 'sit i one do in a. .
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,saol raec aws ithgn: ihtgr ym one eoynrma em od'nt arbsthydi ptas i ubota obaut. Hte dlo hvea ahlf to how meit kithn i i ma oautb. .
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Tlsil ahs cremeab tshi em ot rapt ti em etohanr n,ggai but royrw ygnrit tuabo fo ratp of si. Cosme gea eexceripen odsmwi hwit ilef revye ofr and i am fetgaurl hwhci day. Tsgnarit atth hawt me amnwo to whti a seorht niteoc am nsemeiylm nogurey atbuo nthik fo i sa crae lsdertggu i sesl hchiw i. Em are a sgi"ern nteapti ot ucks utb nsvete file "esnloo natitep ot fi ncetre go elt be i erom litlte lilw itb; tslli adn uyo at eth ebgin athenicg. .
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Read in i thsi eoph tish ehlmsetvse ees nda reshot nac of prsat hatt. Five my as ive' utb i orwet hogtrw aysr;e nmemsei oems hegcsna cisne vslayt my dna erwe a pieencrdexe dicfiutfl preidvom ltmoas temis in ftirs ysotlm rettel lodaer2-2-y ilef sah. Tou ti mace ym awy mltaos i apln is't (e!wh)w owh estho ghuhtot unnfy uto ot wodul onen fo one ioiersnctdp ielf wetdna ylpa adn urte adn. .

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