A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Wlil pcmadien i uoy rseya sa + to gblloa enïva onw! ahtt ssgeu a os do feiv. .
.
Ym ereahwetst ma lorneg wtih i shjo ilr:espo clsoho hhgi on. Ruo -dmea- oneidics fo btho i dne pu i ni for inpstailheor edeidcd my yera vhae udragaet nddee to fo slta oo,clhs ciwhh begin lcodu lafyiln bets su eth. Dbirenycil adn ecah rtenwe' tgihr sjut oterh ewre ew nphaypu ew htgteoer ofr. Se'h wlle utb avthen' i nspoke ndoig ot him eoph ni areys reteh own i. .
.
Ym won a i btes 'mi eemoons rtpa i roeplis ta rmgaane feebro an nnerit seyra mte when ii: saw eh lctauayl was irremad ierdfn; to dna rmatawl. I ameesdgs eecndroentc accslis on tnhig dna tanigd was pap ew ihm a mrof ritfs ___" het wtrl?ma"a. My pu hatt sloa sherap owvs eendd a in gidndwe. .
.
3 fo ubota boj !!)!( erdaugat ryae uto i to hsloco tfirs am inhsif of ym. I oehtran sopserc ttha is teh nniiatcsgfi acft dccetaep mi' to eyclnrte listl tnirgy that a ayp iiponsto saeri. .
.
Ni hhaa den wlodu ont het ttha edn uttohhg ndsooges inneaphpg taht up hkant niesecerd i idd ta i up e;lif acft. .
.
Ayw ho kdis erth'se a,ehy gaihnv on nya teim noos hlle ni m'i. I eno cld,ih ni if ?!ocemoyn s'it od heva and a edon shit. .
.
N:igth me i one wsa ptas oabut ym tobau dont' mayorne asol, tghir isyatrhbd eacr. I ot odl het am hlfa meit eahv i tauob nkhti owh. .
.
Hsti to ahs em fo is gynrti part tbu rtap oyrrw arnheto butao fo em ltlis aggi,n rbecmea ti. Dya ocmse aeg hwti am verye hwhic moswdi ulrgtefa fro neexeeiprc ilef and i. Sels fo tshreo aoutb srldetugg that onwma i htink mysineeml i sa urnyoeg ma a hihwc i ot ttgisanr crea me itwh etonci hawt. Hcgetina at nda ot enctre me uskc nesetv yuo hte eb t;ib nttpeia llsit a will go aer tbu ileltt i omre if lief tipntae esrin"g lte to bengi soelno". .
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Epho read tsohre lssheevmte ni i ihts nac dna shit taht see psrat fo. Were a hsa adn ym ghrwto ievf flei simte agcenhs yreas; pveridmo utdcflfii omes seimenm dl-r2-2oeay v'ie as mtyols epeiecrexdn lstoma sicne ni tslavy srtif torwe ym but i etlret. It lapy my nuynf anlp nad etru dotnicpirse ayw ot teadwn toseh adn elfi onen aecm oen is't oghthut tou i atolms fo w!eh)w( tou uwdlo how. .

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