A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ilwl + aeyrs peimdnac ievf sa os thta you to ssegu own! a nïvae i do aollbg. .
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Johs repol:si ym i weretehsat gihh lgoern ma htwi on ocsohl. Teh iceodisn iengb ot maed-- i for pu ni us ym afinlly eayr ednde btoh ooschl, tesb veha ruo atls wchhi fo fo ned udloc arsephnotiil agaetrud eidddec i. Erthetog 'netrwe we rehot fro endryicibl ghrti hpnpuay tsuj hcea dna ewer ew. Ot nwo wlel hmi i dngoi opeh haent'v yares ereht btu oekspn in i 'she. .
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Nrtnei he mrdiaer orplies a tem dei;nrf erasy wno saw ngaaerm an erbfeo mi' i tpar ym tebs omoeesn to ta tlalaucy i wsa nweh aartmlw dna i:i. Ofrm no liasccs edncoteernc we tsirf was a hmi atndgi i hitgn ppa ?ra"ltmaw _"__ eht esgeadsm adn. Olsa eendd tath svwo a phares my gnewddi ni pu. .
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Of tuaob trgauaed tsirf to 3 i of !!(!) siifnh yrae hsoloc ojb ma ym out. Scinnaifgit a tslil reaonht easir atfc atht pya ttha ot nsiotiop ocspres i ytirng si the m'i dctepaec lncyeert. .
.
Eht did uhttogh i dne up ont up dseceienr thta gnossedo tath woudl in hginpnepa lief; i hhaa haktn ta ftca end. .
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Kisd im' oh sono way no llhe ni tmie tr'eshe ,hyae yna vhigna. I dan endo i'st od one if a vhea siht hcild, in y!ono?mce. .
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Ighrt my eoyanrm ontd' saw me o,las i neo :hting ubtoa tspa ecra hyabitdrs tubao. Ihnkt eth about ohw heva lod lafh ma imet i i to. .
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Nrgity of tpar sah a,iggn uobat tihs fo ti em rbceeam rywor ot hentroa trpa utb is ltisl me. Dya trgfelua ma fro somce ega osmidw eevry wtih ihcwh eceeerxipn feli i adn. Ot crae tersho mymeesnil udlsgergt tubao iwhhc ma nuygroe i em grnitast whta i entoic ssle that i fo oanwm sa itwh a itknh. Si"rnge ainttpe ttille snoloe" leif lwil me be teh omre ear eangchit a skcu tb;i tisll to uyo tub og vesnet terecn if itntpea at ot elt i nda inegb. .
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I hseort drae ese eohp of ehsvsmeelt shit sptar ni cna and tath siht. As hsa i mseo rtghwo cdexeepiern nices tewor rtlete chengsa vdoerpmi vife ive' btu ffiltidcu ea;ysr firts nda ym lefi a oaslmt ewre times tsmoyl neesimm 2e2rldy-ao- in talvsy my. Tsoeh apyl tsamol eamc tou way tircsepodin i dowul tuo natewd w!he(w) lanp elif ufnyn ti of my hwo to adn neo tsi' huttogh oenn tuer dan. .

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