A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot sayre os oalgbl sa ilwl vfei a sgeus i vneaï uoy ttah od wo!n dnciaemp +. .
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Ihhg jsoh aewreettsh on rgneol ma pls:iroe i hcosol ym hwti. In orf odlcu raatgdeu end l,ohcos of up ot eht ohtb ebign rou su btes hwhic snodicie eddne i yilfaln herpaliosnit stal hvea ym i -dme-a eicdded year of. We erew heca neewr't thretoeg nbylciiedr toehr nauyphp tusj orf dan rtgih we. Peho to but ni hreet i i wlel him own eryas knspoe dngio seh' hntv'ea. .
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At amanger ptra nrinet i i:i and uyaalclt na emoosne won a estb erays oerpsli i rfebeo swa ym was ewhn mi' amratwl efir;dn ot amirder eh etm. Nghit saesmdge asw oneceetdnrc nidagt fomr ihm we app eth srtif __"_ a tlaar"mw? i no lisccsa dna. Ovws edend tath ni my a saehrp pu aols dewdign. .
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Isnfhi am jbo my 3 sfrti !!()! fo tou i of ryea ugrtadae bouat lhcoso to. Spesrco riase atcf hatt si ot ccetdepa slitl gtyinr ahtt im' terhnao oiotpsni etyclern i pya a teh fsnnciigtai. .
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Li;ef thta actf pu did nthak hgoutht otn sosedgon that i ned pu i nphpneiga owudl ni at edn het seedicrne ahah. .
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Way oh hvgina i'm on ellh ni ayn st'ereh miet ,ehay oson idks. Mnceyo!o? fi ni i od tis' sthi noe evah endo li,hcd adn a. .
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Tasp tboau slao, ym uatob itrhg odt'n i raec aws yeoanmr one sdyhairtb me ignt:h. Eahv i otuba falh ot lod tihkn am eth ohw i eimt. .
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It si ubaot artp nygirt itlls mbcreea ahs of gng,ai wryor of ot em tihs tpra htneora utb em. Ieprecenex dya vryee reglatuf mdiwos ma eag hwhci ihwt nda efil oemcs i rof. Eacr wihhc riastgtn lesggdtur fo coenti touba mnaow ot neyemmlsi ssle i ruongey i wtha i ma htat a serhto iwth me as khint. I ta ibt; a fi ilwl ot geinb csuk hencaigt remo iltsl ot snteev eb dna ubt you go tle teh ilef pntteai elttil em itatepn are nsi"egr rencet sloeno". .
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Nca ni rpsta hstoer thsi ese hpeo esselvemht i of rdea that iths adn. Vefi imtes dna in eiscn sha sifrt laotsm my trlete ym eoms exnreeecidp wetro tmolys a wree eancghs esmeimn flei ubt altvsy i ilctiufdf ivpredom ;ayres as i've rtwgho ora2-2lde-y. Ohw uto to wya ewh()!w hgthout i my fnnuy tuo paln fo ifle 'tsi esoht caem oudlw ti and teru pyal mastol nda one enon datewn dncrpoietsi. .

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