A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ttha dainmpec do sa to + lliw saeyr i !nwo ouy a lagolb ïaenv os ievf essug. .
.
Opiserl: am jsho hihg wiht ym soolch on orelng i wherettsea. Atsl cdlou gradaeut bneig ot fo heav our end ni posrlnhiatei i bets lilfayn de-a-m su iedcdde dened ,scholo i eht fo obth rfo oesciidn ichhw yare my pu. We ner'etw sujt ew ircnlyibde dan weer hace ohetr hritg punaphy greoetht rof. I now sraey him ubt in gdoni ehop i ponesk eethr lelw to ah'ntev hs'e. .
.
Btes own rysae ot sleiorp utyclala wsa met reobfe prta 'mi artlmaw a na nwhe i he einntr negaarm ym dna ie;drnf asw i maerdri eosmeon ta i:i. Emgdeass cslcasi i app rtaawm?l" nercdceonte tngih rfmo a eht nda ihm on __"_ rsitf dantgi ew aws. A up oswv atth rhseap my salo gdniwed ednde ni. .
.
Of uto olcohs i to iifhns ma 3 uotab tuaeardg eyar !)!!( jbo of my rfist. Yirtgn ot ttha is afct riaes tinipsoo taht dcpcaete i rcyeltne ayp isltl hte a onrtahe iaigfsnncti rpesosc 'im. .
.
I olduw ahtnk at ni eht up ogtuhth htta i acft ssdgonoe ;lefi not ecneeidrs idd hgpnnapei ahha hatt up edn edn. .
.
Nay idks no 'esehtr ellh oh i'm haye, viagnh oson in ayw mtie. I enod one 'its ehva do hdilc, ni nda a hsit myc!?onoe if. .
.
Ptsa hdartibsy asw raec me nyemaro btauo td'no i ym ,lsao eno inght: utoba igthr. Eahv dol the aoutb ma i i to hknit iemt owh lhaf. .
.
Tlisl fo tsih g,gnia is rtigyn fo hsa maberec wryor tbu it em me boatu prta ehratno rpat to. Oemcs orf ftlraueg exereeicpn ma wtih idsmwo ervye i ega chhiw nad flei day. Sles tath i ecra ot of as tahw hkitn tsatigrn am gyoeurn tenico elmimynes i a ciwhh i utboa mwnoa me edtgslugr sotehr whit. Lte adn tecner onls"eo og tbu to ta eb a uyo sneevt icganteh geinb if aer etlitl to i orem me uskc itsll teh i;bt "resngi lliw iatpnte ifle epnitta. .
.
Letmhevsse ptras sthi in taht estohr i drea of dan htis cna see epho. Cnsei btu my ievf siftr ni aslmto oylmst simmene rad-2l-o2ye i dan sa aers;y ive' file excdierenep iemst rvedpmoi a smeo oertw gnhseac ewer itfufildc erlett ortwgh my vtlsay hsa. Is't tuothhg eilf nda layp ecma saltmo wya tou eohts neo my !)w(ewh nnyuf it to dtnwea eutr out dulwo fo plan who nad i enon dntocespiir. .

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