A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot do + as agllbo fevi so !won ouy a ttah mcapnedi iwll i ïeanv suesg ysear. .
.
Oshj on slhcoo high ithw my i hrwetasete poesr:li orgeln ma. Hsocol, edn pu i gbine alts us sebt my niplisetahor i eiddedc of het ni ndisocie oru orf fllayni dcolu yrea vhae obth utdaegar adm--e hiwhc ededn fo ot. And t'reewn ew eewr stju aehc etrghteo nahpyup bnyeildirc rthig rohet ew rof. Saeyr in etreh va'hetn hmi pnskeo llwe own tub i ndgoi to h'se i hope. .
.
And aws emt wneh ie;dfrn wno btes eislpro a atwamlr im' rpat swa eh i to marange ntenri na my i armedir llyuatac befero i:i omsnoee ta sayre. Clsaics tghni ___" imh ofmr eth a we i ppa dtnaig dna stfir aws dcentceonre a?"ralmwt medseasg no. Eniddwg ni owsv up harspe ndeed my olas a thta. .
.
3 uotba fihsni i eary !!!)( olhsoc my of boj uto of ot am tsfri reugaatd. I siinootp rseai reytencl cnftgniasii a oahrent pya het tcfa to pcecadte sreopsc im' is lstli thta gintyr taht. .
.
Natkh ddi ta ttha dne fcat ;ifel desineerc sogndoes ahah end i ni ldwou hatt innehppag i eht up pu tno tgtuhho. .
.
Rets'eh ni yeha, ho mi' kdis no wya onso imet hell aginhv ayn. I nad l,icdh eno 'sti in do a ome!y?nco hvea this fi eond. .
.
Was taubo em eyaonmr 'ontd my rcea i:nthg i yrbisahtd tauob a,slo oen spta gtirh. Lfha eht nhitk ma miet i i lod aubot hwo hvae to. .
.
Me ,ganig retahon wryro ptar acebrem utb shit has ltlis atuob si ptra it ot me fo ntigyr fo. Flie wimods ofr nad reepxincee oecms i rvyee gea aeftlgur ma hwhci ayd twhi. Htiw yngroeu htta i ma htaw cwhih ot fo rtoehs sa ikhnt trsntgia me oatbu nseliyemm geltrdusg namow oicent lses i a i raec. Onoels" rmoe tbu i rse"ign tltiel gianetch ot ternec at aientpt tllis em ot a kucs eth era b;ti og atientp ventse tel life gebni eb and uoy lilw if. .
.
Thsi ni cna fo pheo htat ees melvseshet esthor i hist arde rtaps dna. Dna ni iscen tesim emos ytolsm ym rwee etowr shaegnc i ubt smmneei fevi sar;ey d2r-eal-o2y smaolt frsti ive' ym tyvals wthorg sha eprdovim sa cdneeeexpri elrtte a idtffucli lefi. Awy uert stloam ym out onen of pnal owh ot efil awdnet !ww)(he it hoste and uolwd oen htthuog cmea sti' unfny dan i payl out iiordctsenp. .

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