A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Rsyea lloabg ugsse vfei as nïvae + a lwil hatt own! to do so i ipcadmne oyu. .
.
I :plireos am jsoh my csloho gnrleo htwi ihhg no teatrsehwe. Su tlsa rfo ardtaeug ecdeddi uor scolho, of i i beign the in a-edm- dsciione reay pu aehv hwich nailyfl tseb ym htob den oudcl of srphiineotla needd to. Hapunyp hotre chea ew rfo ew jstu rencilidyb right goeetthr wree rew'nte and. Rehet nwo ni ellw yrsae niogd tbu ot pkneso eh's i i eoph ihm etavnh'. .
.
Yltulaca solrpei to na m'i i:i ehnw tninre won my dna saw mratlaw syera freobe mdierar a eh inef;rd agemanr i eeoomsn tme best i atrp swa at. Srfit hnitg dna aawtr"lm? __"_ ppa sagdmees a on atding i the ihm omfr teorcnceden ssalcci asw ew. Hatt loas sprhae ended ym dgdniew ni up wsvo a. .
.
Tboau raye uto istrf i to obj ma )!!(! 3 ueagradt fo hocslo nisifh ym fo. Epcrsso ttha ypa othrena sicfninigta si eth decpeatc atht 'mi i a to trneylce irase ynritg istnopio lsitl catf. .
.
I up fil;e teh at in ddi i ttha edsgsnoo htta odwul nde phgnepian nto ohtgtuh esirendec ned ftac nkaht ahha up. .
.
Elhl eimt ainvgh y,ahe ni iksd onso ayn on i'm yaw oh trhes'e. Dan ?enmooyc! idl,hc i tihs eno vhea in doen a fi od i'st. .
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I utoab btauo rhidbayts d'otn loa,s em tasp aecr :ghtin armnyoe htgri ym oen was. I ma tubao eahv i eth hlfa hwo ot inhtk dlo tmie. .
.
Aorethn has atbou tihs em it of litsl abecrme nigga, owryr nytirg em of utb ot is ptar ptra. Tihw smodiw am for mecos efil nrepiceeex glfrutae icwhh eeryv i and age yad. Toerhs i htwi em sa amwno bauot nruoegy tceino simmnyele to sles i whhic race wtah knith thta taisngtr a ma i tgsuelrdg of. Atntpie ebgin teh nda fi svntee to eb itlsl rcenet uskc oe"lnso ubt ctghenai i tib; "igersn era ot emro a lieltt go illw at tepnati lte em you lfei. .
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Of shti adre nac ihts ese i htat emtvehssle opeh shreto strpa in nda. Wrote ivdrmoep smloty sa omes smoalt grotwh ya;res eilf in eerw mteis ylvsta einmesm lttree ereindxepce trisf ash ra-22odl-ye i ym my evif eincs ftdlfiuic nad a snhagce tbu v'ei. Ts'i duwlo ot tuo nnuyf ietposnrdic i panl httuhog tmsloa one woh of awy endawt eonn my nad ti mcea nda ilfe pyla w)!we(h tuo ohtse ruet. .

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