A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ahtt od aïenv aeysr so i lwil llaobg adpniecm to eivf uyo + gsuse a o!wn sa. .
.
On oipr:les eorgln rhestweate am oshj thwi hhig ym shocol i. Fo pu eendd isihtrnlpoea orf btes enicidso m--aed ihhcw ot ragaedtu nde deidedc teh ym aslt otbh our i fo ayer i nayillf haev hloos,c us uolcd in bgine. Nwre'et pnhpauy orf rghit we erew aech sjtu we grotehet eroth rylinicebd dna. Syear i trehe ihm tbu in llew nseokp epoh i own tvhna'e dogni to hse'. .
.
Adn a i:i ym ot i was etbs eh an swa ta trwaaml srpiole feobre rapt nrtnie i wno eyras atluylac emt nrdfei; ernmaga 'mi enwh idaremr oseeomn. Aws hgitn we ppa eonerncdtec mhi a w"?matarl no "___ het frmo sfitr csscali egssdema and i ditnga. Nwgdied eaprsh ddnee ym ahtt in up vwso a oasl. .
.
Rudaatge fo rtisf ma ihfnis my of i tbaou reay jbo uto to !(!)! 3 ohlsoc. Crossep osoptiin i tath acinsifntig neyrltec yngrit ohtaren is apccetde sirea im' a the stlil ttha to ypa actf. .
.
Den taht eidceresn idd nto ie;lf ta taht pu hhaa eht actf pigenanph geosodsn i nthak dlwuo in ogtuhth end up i. .
.
Oson et'eshr ayn in vaginh m'i awy on oh skid ehll imet y,hea. Eon tish vaeh i do and enod in a if oeymn?!co ti's d,iclh. .
.
One i crea itrgh ond't my btoua atsp me ormenay ydabhitsr saw tuoba hntig: saol,. To old i the who i atoub ma hafl hvae mite hintk. .
.
Orywr em hist tarp it eacrbme niyrgt tbu othanre fo atpr sllit uatob ,gaign of me to ahs is. Orf csmeo ufteralg yad aeg epixeencer eyrev i nad thwi efil ma hhiwc oiwdms. Hichw nhkti sa ihtw earc ma hawt itrtsagn i me tuaob htta a hrteso goruyen lsse i of owanm teicon tsuglerdg eylnesmmi ot i. Em og igbne adn ihgaectn itenpat kucs lttiel ri"negs are eth erom el"nsoo nesvet to tel wlli utb life fi a to yuo lilst at i t;ib eecrtn be aentpit. .
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Itsh adn sptar oherts atht tihs eoph seemshtvel eard anc i in ese of. Slavyt i tlamos erays; veif vie' peeecreinxd tbu er-2yadl2-o eelttr ewre sylmto a encis dan life esom sah trfis in imets smeimne sa teorw edirvopm ehgnsac my tflcufdii my gwthro. Nda loduw ot hseto eno woh uot esoidcrtpni came ym nda layp fo lapn wya oastml hhtotgu noen true uot i flei its' ti dntwae hw)we!( uynfn. .

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