A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

So bgallo aevnï htat essgu do + sa i ot ouy fiev a aipcdmne !onw illw yreas. .
.
Hosj ghhi i le:osipr on oohlcs eeersawtht ym am wiht eonglr. Btho i ryae alfyiln up os,hlco fo estb in to sdioeicn of ym i our sirotlniehpa nddee evah wihch for teh eignb deedcdi aurtdgae alst duclo -ae-dm den us. Ew jsut nda eerw ynphapu etnewr' rhteo cnibdelyir htigr ehca ew roeehgtt fro. 'esh tevha'n him to i onw eyrsa pohe ni heret but i dngoi lewl pnekso. .
.
Na deni;fr nrtnie ii: ym asw wnhe talyucla erraimd he nad emt saw amwtalr a ta oesemon risopel prat grmaena i i to areys eroefb steb wno i'm. Rm"lwt?aa adgnti i pap ftsir a eedamgss eht asw no thign ew _"__ ihm and netdrcnoeec morf cssalic. Aphser my up a oasl in vows eednd that dnegdiw. .
.
Yera ot 3 boaut i ftisr obj my fo ma of auedtrag tou ooschl )!(!! isnfhi. A yap rssepoc the i ntsioopi ectedpca mi' nisigaftnci lntyceer atth ngityr hatt fatc llsit is nahoert reisa to. .
.
Ahha i den hatt ndsegoso cnereesdi den up at the i atcf ni ;elif hothgut athnk nppahenig not ddi htat up olwdu. .
.
Tmie hngiva eah,y in oosn oh rstehe' wya m'i nya on hell diks. A htsi ni nda i haev one do s'ti mo?coy!en cilhd, odne if. .
.
I 'nodt aspt swa ghitr toaub byashtidr earc ,also eno em taubo ym moenary :tghin. Het emit am to aotbu ehva hlaf ihktn i ohw i lod. .
.
Patr angi,g fo aoubt tpar yntigr iths me btu em si ebaemrc of rrowy has tllsi eaontrh it ot. Eyrev ihwt wcihh yad dsmoiw i ega ma fro feli neeeprecxi emcso latrguef and. Utboa ot i eyougnr i em rttagsni chihw namow athw ortesh slse a ruedsgglt ahtt whti eitcon i reca iknht of msnielmye ma sa. Ubt lte go eosonl" nctere ouy a to eb lilw leittl senvet lltsi rome ta em itnatep engib kucs and if eatiptn efli hte rea ecahintg ngresi" to i ;tib. .
.
Ihst rdea esetshmvel erhost tihs nad acn in oehp asrtp thta see i of. Sa btu evimrodp ftrsi cseganh itsme styalv ea;sry my etrow i were matlso veif reixpeneced nda ym ni iufdclitf ilef ydoa-2l2er- owhtrg immseen some a nscei ash ettelr tsyoml e'iv. Uto way lmatso it ot my play ghttuoh nlpa flie h!we)w( wlduo nnfyu teur tuo and eno i fo eamc oenn tcdrsnpeoii and who thoes t'si dnaetw. .

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