A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I lliw so fiev onw! do oblgla necaimdp + years to yuo htat as aïnev a sgeus. .
.
Ma epo:slri rolgen i my streehewta hwti lohcos on jsho ihhg. Which my het i tboh fo uor dciedde lsat needd uardegat su orf lianfyl den pu i stbe of vahe torsliapineh eary ot -md-ae olduc ciidsone ebngi ni o,holsc. Ntew'er ypphnua ew etrho eldribynci jstu nda we irhgt erwe gotehter haec rof. Han'vte imh ot ubt yresa i ehrte now in lewl idgon heop i 'she pensko. .
.
Dfreni; part eidrrma na ameragn nhew was at a ot etm alacytlu rwatmal 'mi :ii my srploei i tesb aws nneitr oseenom ysear he i nad onw beorfe. Saw i pap nneeecodtcr rsfit niatgd nad we mhi fmor casslci a m"w?larta ihntg eht on "___ gamsdsee. Ym a alos ahtt in wndiedg deden svwo pu arehsp. .
.
Ot fniish of !!(!) otu i toaub 3 rftsi ma uargaedt oolchs job ym ryae fo. A i lretecny ahtt tcecaepd itnafiigncs rcssepo eth anhreto to iinstpoo mi' tath pya arise grtyni llsti tfca si. .
.
Ngaiphpne i in den atht haha ulwod up het idd gthohut ercendsei ta i godoessn den hnkta tacf ttah le;if nto up. .
.
Wya ho iskd on yan mi' etmi in he,ya oson lleh hiangv esreth'. Ni ehva i nda a 'sti ocy?!oenm deon shit ,cihdl one do fi. .
.
Rgtih neo saol, n'dto swa abisrhdty rmoyena hn:tgi tasp boaut my obuta i erca em. I het vahe oaubt to owh i lod kihnt teim lafh ma. .
.
Is aggi,n rapt tslli hsa trheano ubt ti arbmece me rtpa isth of atubo gyrtni ot yrrwo em of. Sdwomi dya ifel ocems enercexeip ofr ryvee i ma tiwh cwhih gurfaelt age and. Ma to htiw sa i ognyure a atht i esls niteoc ichhw em miesymlen btaou arnitstg thkni i omwan fo aecr esrtglugd hwta seorht. Apetnti ittlel sllit ta the bgnei to if go nhtgciea ttpniae oyu oemr ifel ;ibt tel aer a nigesr" ecernt me kcsu lwil venets dna i be to onoe"ls btu. .
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Hepo dan ese fo teesmshlve rpsta ihst ttah oethrs nca htsi ni i drae. Wrteo a but epiednxrcee risft yera;s ytsmol sha and feiv ader22l-o-y were ifle idpmevor ni emos ytvlsa cffdtilui my v'ie i hrwtog my esmimen tsolam treetl cnsei gnasche sa etsim. Estoh emac tmslao yaw ruet my ldowu owh nad ti to aply tuo !(ew)wh of anpl nda eilf noe otu nwtdae neon tresnicdopi 'ist i thuhotg nynuf. .

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