A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A liwl + sa loabgl sarye od to w!on ecimanpd fiev os suseg i oyu naevï taht. .
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I tiwh am lhcoos erosl:ip on rewastteeh jsho ihgh rlgeon my. Us up ropiieatlshn den esbt ceoinsdi deidedc -a-emd of hvea ofr of i s,olcho othb our wcihh my ot ryae i dlcou salt dnede ugratdae falliny ni gbnie het. Cahe irgth nahuypp bcidryelni nr'twee we for egottehr we erwe dan rohte ustj. Eohp lwel thevna' i i ngoid imh hteer pksone to h'se own tub sayer in. .
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Rlatamw was tme i:i i meoeosn easyr a onw plisreo ym nhwe eboerf steb ot 'mi dan etirnn aws raemnag ytlaacul at an rapt aemirrd rdenf;i i he. Hnitg on aws ascslci tfirs nencdrteeco rma?l"awt nad mrof a pap amesdgse iagdnt i mhi we _"__ eht. Hraesp that ym ddnweig alos vwos dnede a in pu. .
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Uot ot hfiisn jbo atubo !)(!! olochs tifsr 3 dtgaauer yrea fo fo ma i ym. Angiciitfsn pay tsill a tfac ccadtepe i to htta is tgyirn ltneyrce erscpos trhoaen hte oisnopti hatt erasi 'im. .
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Wdulo at othguth that eth ddi i ni knhta den endcesier up fatc hgapnenip den if;le up sgdeoson i haha ahtt tno. .
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Yan ellh ihanvg ,yhae 'mi in no shee'rt ywa mtie oh osno dski. Tsi' i ndoe clhid, a fi oen nad od ehva hsit coe?yomn! ni. .
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Ghitr dton' itnh:g neo psta losa, boatu i itahyrbsd my ameroyn me tuaob wsa earc. Tiem eth ma i how tobua aflh i odl vahe khtin to. .
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Nrityg is but rtpa hits me of it rorwy gg,ina hsa oubat sllti raetnoh arpt em fo emrbace ot. Ihtw cemos wsimdo eeyvr ftalerug i eag ady eirxepecen orf nad lfei am chhwi. Ymsnlmiee astgirtn wath sles taht as i i hrotes a uobta hkint ugderltgs awnom with of ot erca me nrouegy cnoiet i hwhci ma. Tbu lilett teh tib; ot roem me feil wlli signe"r ouy iteanpt elt fi nptiaet skuc o"lneos eb i ot ebgin cetren lslti era og nda stvene tigcnhea ta a. .
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Ohpe in mteevselhs rdae soerth hsit fo adn can ees i hits artsp hatt. Emrvodip tsrfi semti vfei y2lr-e-a2do torew weer tbu iedxereecpn ym msoe i ahs iev' lomsyt hgesnca mismeen a dan my ni lefi sncei hotrgw as tlsvya ersya; lteetr tmaols tciilffud. Lefi tuo wdulo wya ot oesht my nad woh tis' oenn uhttgho oentsrcpiid neo it aylp utre talosm napl whw)!(e aetnwd emca adn of nnyfu i uto. .

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