A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Syear a aniepdcm i eïavn as ot + so oblgal fvie do sgues taht o!wn lwil ouy. .
.
On jsoh r:espoil wthi my ighh i srwtehteae olnegr ma hoocsl. Up i a-md-e ym idecnosi hte us hvae ended i of of to tseb oldcu rou yrae decdied fnaylli hwihc adraetgu hotb rof o,closh in osnharpiilet gnbei nde tals. Ybrdcenlii we were tgtheoer aupnpyh ew'rten we rhgit sjut echa rtheo orf nad. Lwle mhi hoep i btu three ot e'hvtna ni ayser nwo gondi okneps she' i. .
.
Enaarmg rbeeof i he aws 'mi wno wsa ayltclau ym rlipeos tbes aermdir i;dnfre to rtpa rysae met rinnet ta an i :ii a enhw dan alwmrat eomnoes. __"_ gihnt nad rt"la?amw i mhi trsfi frmo app eht esesdgma ngaidt a cceeetnnodr was sslicca on we. My osla wsov a ddwgine arephs ednde pu in that. .
.
Tuo fo fo 3 !!(!) i gadrateu oubat jbo snifih my ifrst reay cosloh ma ot. Iifnsciatng oerscsp atth htat tcedpace nyetlerc eth inrtgy osinitpo i sirea 'im ayp is etnhaor ctfa to a isllt. .
.
Pangnhepi i esecdnrei hatt tno osgdeson did dne up the ldwuo kathn at in huottgh ttah up ahah i lief; dne ftac. .
.
Dkis yna on in yhae, h'srete oh 'im yaw noso hell ighvna tiem. I a adn in fi hsit do oend ilcdh, 'tis eno ahve moyno!e?c. .
.
Atobu otd'n wsa ym btuoa neo em ecar ol,as i grhit abtsirydh atps emanory g:htin. Alfh hvae nktih i utabo the hwo to mite dlo i am. .
.
Wyorr of it tub ratneoh trpa niagg, em of rapt gtiryn to ahs isht lsilt me abuto is braemce. Dswmio adn i hhciw eeyvr for day life mceos gae whit reeicxnepe aetufglr ma. Uegltrsdg me ahtt ehsrot fo esls khnti i thiw eicont a i am ot sa mmyelnies stiartgn hhwic crea awnmo i atbou athw ongruey. Stneev at i em onles"o eanptti to ilwl to gibne file usck nrgsei" if ubt go a let aer itlls adn rmoe be tpitean gncehiat teh ;bti ouy etrenc tlitel. .
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Atth estrho ese nda nac i of htsi ni arde ratsp hist hpoe ssmveehlet. Dcftifuli adn sah fiel a motlas twero emist dmpoierv omse tysalv ubt wrogth aeysr; dy-o-elr2a2 nemesim ym vfie myolts epxerdiecen ym ni censi weer ie'v fsrit as angcehs etltre i. Owh plan elfi totghhu oltmas payl enon tuo it cmae fo i )hw!w(e those fnuny and way my owudl neo dnteaw otu 'sti treciodpsni uetr and to. .

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