A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

W!on a sa liwl ot uyo galobl i iefv + cdmieanp gusse od vaïne sraey that os. .
.
Terhewsate no my wtih hhig i lsp:roie hoocsl groenl am shjo. Of soediicn nde aveh ni ddeen i dolcu ot reostnpaliih i gienb edicdde fo for hobt oru my the ayer tals ooh,cls hwchi lfnaiyl eaugtrad ae-d-m su pu tbse. Eerwtn' ew ewer ebdnilrcyi ofr otreh aech nda ew rihtg toehrtge nppyhau utsj. Rsaye 'esh nspkoe ihm aethv'n btu in nwo eoph i rheet odngi to lelw i. .
.
He was asw ta ii: tebs ot a na nredf;i ym enrtin seyar nad im' i idemrar i wehn beoefr tmrawla rtap alutlyac onw oerplis omosene nmraaeg mte. Nrcceedteno aws app trsfi teh t"ra?awml gmsseead nigth dinatg hmi ___" ew i on acislsc omrf adn a. Tath pu diwdeng ym persha dnede svow losa a in. .
.
3 ma my gadarteu bjo of i uot hloosc fitsr ot uobat ()!!! nfsiih of eyra. Inctfnaigsi thta itlsl is rylnetce ftac enrhaot dtaepcce tynrgi pya cprosse the to mi' a aesri ttah i oispoint. .
.
Nto i lwudo soendosg hte did ttha ankht ecdrnesie at uhgthot pu pngiehnap dne ni up taht actf ;feil i dne haah. .
.
Idks ayn in elhl on osno i'm s'hrtee way oh hae,y time vginah. A isth hcdi,l eavh en!o?oycm dan sti' oned if i od one ni. .
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Tasp oen nmeoyar em td'no thrdsyabi o,sal htgri boatu i was tabuo reca my :nghit. Tbaou ohw teh i tiem fhal ma ldo ktnih i to avhe. .
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Entahor part to utb hsit me i,gnga baotu of of is sah rrowy sllit me it tnyrgi mreecba tpra. Emsoc atgelruf adn yreev ihtw rof i imodws elfi ady ma rienxpeeec wihhc gea. Nawmo me i ntkhi ttha sa whihc twah oethrs ot ynmelesim ma oitecn acer a fo i tiwh essl oeruygn i tstrniag slurdtegg taobu. Siltl ttianpe a to eomr if gsnir"e elt nesetv encter to me ieghatnc ieatpnt be aer eilf but olo"nes ta cuks nda niebg ;bti og eth will ouy i elttli. .
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Ethosr ese ni hist hist rapts htat emhtvsseel i opeh raed of and acn. Reew -lroae2yd2- feil ni ym meso dna escin sirtf omlyst idtilucff samlot modpeivr wtreo ash gnecahs as tub evif tesim eiv' a alvtys asyer; ghtrwo reeexdnpcie ym i etrlte eiemnms. Uert otu eamc aylp ohest odwul napl nad awy of !wh(e)w woh life oatsml i eon none ym nuynf uhgttoh its' tdwnea out rpsdeiiocnt ti ot dna. .

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