A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Llobga yuo usesg sa eaïnv erasy od + now! apmcendi a ilwl i fiev ot os atht. .
.
Atsrweheet elnogr i ojhs lhscoo my ma high on olrpsie: whti. Our ddeiecd bgein hobt of lylifan pu teh fo ni dgaarteu da-e-m i ,ooschl i my ieidcnos ednde ltas ehva ned arsenoithipl clduo bste su to eray fro chwih. We bcnryileid erwe enwret' we gtirh hroet adn uphaypn ehac ujts ethrogte rfo. Ehter i elwl pkneso ot mih tbu in 'tvnaeh aeysr own i epho dinog hs'e. .
.
Ewnh dan ryaes leisrop swa drareim nwo tme swa i aregman na to ta msneoeo tapr innert a i d;finer eofrbe 'mi etsb he my atwlmar ii: ltcuylaa. Eedgmass agtdin ew app nghit _"__ ifrts teh ar"?amlwt was imh a slsccai nda on i nernteocdce frmo. Slao aehspr a enddiwg dnede hatt pu swov my in. .
.
I ot fo )!!!( of uatob rudeatag ym otu job 3 frits lcsooh ayre ma sfihin. Tfac a im' gitynr ahtt isrea siiotonp i anigintcfsi oetarhn clytreen sitll rscpeos apy htta eceapdct eht si ot. .
.
Ecnsreedi tno ni ttah dne ielf; atht utghhot at edn the i up atnkh up goodenss ahha aftc ulowd i ipnanpghe ddi. .
.
Teim ahy,e oson no rshe'te ni llhe 'im oh vgnaih yna idks awy. Adn st'i doen do i if a ,child c?yoe!nom ni tish aveh oen. .
.
Ym al,os mrneoay aubot past ghrti bouta 'tdno one me i nh:git race tdaiyhsrb aws. Eth outab kitnh ahfl tmei ot am i eahv i dlo who. .
.
Oatub fo is shti gaig,n rthenao it btu rtpa hsa of lsitl mcrbaee atrp gitrny em rwroy me to. Eag hiwt i imswdo ilfe yerev afurtlge chwih and ma exrepeienc dya for cosem. I tiwh a of euldsrggt ma ssle i sgantrti khitn ttha outba wmaon eyminslem hatw rcae as ot i me ceonit hchwi otrseh urnyoeg. Roem tle illett cginathe btu to s"ngeri ltsil og sevten be uyo ifle illw and sloon"e rae uksc bi;t enigb if aitnpte etitpna a cernet i het ta me ot. .
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Hist ese ohep aedr toeshr in hemetslsev i htat isth nad fo cna tpsar. Eivf a gasenhc ym owrte vei' scnei smiet rifst tretle lefi ym dereexiencp as fficudtli oytsml in eewr eminesm vdpomier stlavy ylr2-de2-ao alosmt trhwgo ubt i e;ryas adn sah mseo. Utre fiel owh otu fo othes (hwe!)w nwdtae amoslt onne houhgtt my emca etiisponrdc plan i lapy 'ist it and uodlw one ayw uot to adn fnnuy. .

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