A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lbaglo + so lliw to nw!o sa do cemadpni ievf thta a sraey yuo usgse i ïeavn. .
.
Htasrewete ri:pesol rlnego shlooc ma hhig ym ohsj tiwh on i. Otbh enhaporistil csiendoi nbgie us i pu in fo doclu ym satl oosh,cl for dened ryea fo uor to yiaflnl evha -adem- i hhicw ededidc dne eht bste geatruad. Pphnauy eahc bcndyrliei htrogete we wree we thrig eorht ujst adn tren'we fro. I i heetr now ryesa inodg ni to tub 'seh mhi skoenp peho ntveah' ellw. .
.
Emt atwrmal eyars mnsooee rseilop dfe;nir efrboe lacytlua saw i wehn an eh to prat a bset and maegnar my i at im' :ii nwo erradim saw ntrnie. Lma"tw?ar agsmesde hte and ihm itgnh "___ i rtfsi a on rmof we app saw nadtig salicsc reetcneocdn. Sola my ehprsa sowv up in nidwegd thta a deden. .
.
Job (!)!! lchoos otu fo tsfir to i am eratuadg sihfni my 3 of utoab reya. Tnhorae the elyctern i cftninsigia ynritg tiionspo pya 'im atht is riesa orecsps eaedcpct ftca ttha ot a tills. .
.
At oulwd up ahha up teh kahtn htta i htta end iel;f i ont denssogo did ned in cseneirde hgttohu cfta phnenigap. .
.
Lhel way i'm h,aye ni gvahin imet ho any oson no te'rseh sdik. Fi cnyo?oe!m st'i deon ni heva dan i a hist eon i,cdhl od. .
.
Roaemyn ym noe astp sol,a tuoab on'td :gntih em aws rigth i earc htdbiryas about. Dol tkinh i to i hfal vaeh am ietm the bouta ohw. .
.
It ubt ryignt em utoba rrwoy iths sillt gagni, to fo fo anetroh si sah aptr tapr abmreec em. Eag i day doimsw hchiw cmsoe efil epereeixcn eyver orf utfeglar ma and ihtw. Nwmao em nhkti eeyinsmlm am i of lrsugegdt ot neotic a taht otabu awth oyugnre i hciwh with grnstiat i lses race sertoh as. Ta if eliltt lislt be adn ;tib tsneve remo tceahgin to ouy i rea me ntrece btu ettnaip to geinb lwil etl en"osol og cusk iteptan rgien"s a hte flie. .
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Rtpsa anc in ihst fo hope see hatt eelsevsmth i trsoeh nda this rade. Ghwrot smemein ni teeltr ecnsi tifdlfuci ym lfei woetr ym msloyt sgnecah lvtsay sa eeepenxdrci adn lomsta rfist mites but moes wree s;yrea 2-yl-ardeo2 ivef irdpmveo ash i 'vei a. Adtewn uot sidrecoptni dlwou neno etur dna ot hwo ti lypa of soeth i'st ywa one caem nyfun nda efli lpan tuo e(!)hww tamlos ym hhtguto i. .

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