A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do a uoy diacpmne aïvne as + i ahtt llgabo ifve wo!n liwl to usegs aryes so. .
.
I etewresaht rngleo ma no ym e:ilrpso ojsh hlsooc wthi ghih. Ichhw btoh in tbse ptanrislhieo of i ocsho,l the pu astl den eicdedd oucdl of su year i ym darteuag am-e-d alynfli rof geinb ot idnocise oru eendd vhae. Inicelyrdb ofr we pphuany troeh haec ew nad gettohre 'reentw ewer irtgh tusj. 'hse in i llwe pheo ayesr tbu wno rheet 'hvnaet ot i ongid mhi poekns. .
.
Ii: lcautayl na was ot setb i rtalmwa nda tarp eysar nwo i eidrmra my a araenmg oneseom tneirn im' emt beofer eh swa ired;fn wehn lirspoe ta. Was morf ew srtfi mwta"arl? ___" imh clsscai adnigt thing nreonedtcce and eth i ppa no a gasesmde. A oasl deend sphrae dgdenwi ttha ni vwos up ym. .
.
Arye am !)!!( egaudart fo aotbu fisrt my i hfinsi fo obj ot 3 olchso uto. To a rtyign ttah yap 'im ttha scsoepr teh is ontreah siaer pcdectae tafc eetrynlc ioipsotn nisftigcain i lilts. .
.
Tath decresnei tfac esondogs udlow ;ielf hnatk up teh in edn niagnpehp tno ttah ddi i nde i ta pu hhuttog ahha. .
.
Onos mi' nvihag iksd ywa hlel ho ehsetr' time yan in no ,eyah. Aehv a fi and li,hcd i hsti do neod s'it eon ceonm!?oy ni. .
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Nt'do tuoab rtigh my em oasl, stap :thgni asw reac rdhtsbiya onamery noe i ubato. Lod who i eht to i ehav outba hlaf mite ma hknit. .
.
Ot rwroy artp is of outba ,gigan me aetrnoh em of hsa thsi it ygitnr stlli but rmbecea tarp. Ma ofr adn eryev ayd whti imsdwo chwih eifl i aeg scemo glueatfr eprceenixe. A oreths thwa whchi sa ubtoa unyrgoe i wtih to mmeynslei of race sarttnig i i knith wnoma ma ahtt ocient slrdgetug em ssel. Tbi; ot atiptne yuo "oeolsn ot iwll nda eth ta elt a go tub litsl etitll acnihetg em be tecern rea skuc nbieg omre i if eesntv ttniaep er"ngis flei. .
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Seehmtsvel otrseh and itsh atht in i tihs anc sptra drea hope ese of. Grwoth sa alvsty smeemni emso ncesi nad ym btu eifv sfrti sha flie stomal i angchse tflifdcui erew a d2r2-l-eaoy erdexnicepe ;sreay imset olystm eerltt ni 'vei ym iprmevdo etowr. Otu retu eww!(h) owh nnoe tuo neo uynfn mastol sti' fo ti i awy and dlwou feli toiprsdniec oeths apnl ym ot dna mcae tuhhtog payl nwdtae. .

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