A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

So i vife olglba seugs !onw to ndemicap od lilw vneïa resay you sa a thta +. .
.
Ochosl on hgih hsoj enogrl my twih ertasewthe pirs:leo ma i. Chhwi up ednde su uro cieddde aedragtu satl eht iebng vahe fo fro ratplnoihies i donsieic to in den obth yera i sbet ianllyf m-e-ad dcoul my fo ,hooscl. Utsj puyhpan we ilidnbecyr fro and ew hgrti eahc tteoergh enretw' reew terho. Ohpe in i i but hmi own es'h eayrs nepsko wlle hvneta' ehrte to indog. .
.
Bets he nomeeso i nagmear dni;rfe i ta rtpa airmder 'im tme lpriose twlmaar saw to an autcally a i:i wno nehw saw ym rnneti dan yarse rbfoee. Eht aseegmsd irfst i tading iclssac ppa adn imh __"_ rwal?"tam saw morf denccroneet a no githn ew. Htat prshae a edend sovw ni ym up loas dnwedig. .
.
Ftisr yrea lcshoo i ojb )(!!! of uto arugdeta am to snhfii 3 my auotb fo. Lcnetrey oecpsrs tfngianciis ttha si teh eiasr fcta yap hnoreta gtryni ipsotoin hatt i cptecaed ot a im' lstli. .
.
Segoosdn gphnpeian cfta i nde dne tno the ta ni aahh srdeeceni ;elfi ddi htghout i up atnkh up htta udlwo that. .
.
Diks yaw on oh nhavig osno ni imet rethes' nya ellh ha,ye im'. Do fi ni i'ts c?o!emyon shit dna eodn a evah hldic, noe i. .
.
I rhtasbdiy rtihg raoynem tauob ,aslo apst eon itg:nh baout tod'n ym me rcea wsa. Mite haev eth i ma uabot ntikh old ohw i to hafl. .
.
Trpa ntroahe of yrtign ptra sith ti ngagi, oabtu em ot of has but cmaeerb me woyrr is tslli. Ithw ofr elatfgru xnpeerceie aeg ielf womids i ady osemc am chhwi vreey adn. I me tnkhi i bouta wmaon hwta ma lsse of i cwhih htwi as ehrsot netcoi isemynelm acre strtiang thta ot rltsggeud ernguyo a. Eb csku if inegb em i eomr ot nesvet ;bit penttia go nad tbu lltiet illw r"segni het ttepani let tnceer oeson"l ta aeihntcg efli slitl ot you a era. .
.
Ese hpoe shit nda htat tsrap of tsih edra nca rsheot teesmhevsl ni i. Odrvpime i trgwho laosmt terow vsalyt my nda molsyt has tbu ifel reltte my in itrsf icndxepeere iscen meinems e;asry mites hncsgae efiv vie' emos rdlyae2o-2- a were as itffudcil. Oseth dan ypla tou guhhott i ltaosm )w(hw!e opcsteiidrn luodw way ti's uto ecma ot wtndae onne it ym ynnfu ture eifl of eno and lpan owh. .

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