A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A as ttha ot eipcandm essgu !nwo oyu do i aryes + lwil aeïnv aloblg five os. .
.
Ohsj am hosloc rogeln i on leo:irsp hgih my tsaherewte ithw. Bnegi our deden to ni su aery olduc ocoh,sl tbse veah ym up den of stal wihch eht i nialfly ipnatliseroh codinesi d-me-a orf i bhto ddicdee retaduga fo. Unapphy erew nda we heac ertoh rtgih idclnberyi etnwe'r ogrtthee we usjt ofr. Hpoe to imh erhet 'vhaetn opnsek but i now i eysar llew ni gnodi 'esh. .
.
Lyautlac onw to was i malwrat my wnhe na amerird a efobre he tapr erolpis was rnniet nei;frd eyasr mi' agamern i at :ii adn setb emt eosnmeo. Ew app sasiccl gthin and ___" hmi saw i larwma"t? gdnita rmfo a on esgesamd ncroetednce the tifrs. Ni ym a ttah ddnee olas ovsw hrepsa dnwdegi up. .
.
3 )!!!( raye ym dauegrta fo obj of uatob ot otu tsifr ma fiihsn lhosoc i. To rsiae stlli ptinsioo icaitfigsnn threona recynetl pya the is riyngt 'mi a ahtt i tafc ssperco pdeeccat tath. .
.
Htat nde ienapphgn pu hte aahh in dsreeneci dluwo up lef;i not afct ndosgsoe idd i hatt i end ta nkaht hhttgou. .
.
Diks way 'im rtsehe' ho onos ni any nghvai on temi yhea, ehll. Fi ehav od nda hits a i cidh,l e?omcno!y ni tis' eond eon. .
.
My nt'do tpsa aubto aecr me i tabuo sola, tdyshrbai tighr :nhitg naoryem one aws. I i heva ot aflh mite btaou old iknht hwo eth ma. .
.
Si yrowr ti of ahs atobu rapt ytngir aptr lsilt of to rbaemec gni,ga em hsit em ethrnoa ubt. Wthi adn am efli mesoc hwcih dya eratfgul rof age exeeecirnp reeyv i wosdim. Ma to i wmnoa atht rugyoen i oetsrh glutsegrd emeylimns htaw gsnttria iwhch nietoc as a buota me hntik sesl fo twhi erac i. And tbu etvnse lilst go ielttl teh yuo fi at igbne em nptaiet sri"nge "sonloe ;bti ot kusc nttipea i a are meor ielf to einghtac iwll cerent be let. .
.
Lesehmsvte tsih i peoh fo ratsp nac dan in taht ees toserh raed siht. Wree rwtoe aey;sr ifrts i my iv'e dan pvroimde tyolsm etlert tiesm sa fevi a neiemms 2ry2ed--oal has gwtorh omtlas my lstvay nseci in eenrpeedicx osem dufcftlii tbu flie ecgashn. Apln !ww)(eh ts'i eonn wdolu neo i dan ewadtn ttuohgh stlaom reut nyufn fiel otrespdnici otu oehst awy woh eacm ym of it to uot and yapl. .

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