A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do aysre sgseu you lgblao os vaïen efvi llwi !now + a htta ot as anciempd i. .
.
Oshj htiw i gelonr teerthaews am ym lresiop: no hgih hcoosl. Have tals oholcs, i whcih eilatnhsropi steb eht ma-d-e oudcl my su dedne edsiiocn ruo ddecied tbho i end lynailf egibn ayer tdaguare for pu of to ni of. Nilbdicrye rewnt'e tgrih adn fro utsj thoreget ahpnuyp eroth ewer echa ew we. 'ehs nigod now ni him rsaey hn'veta i elwl opeh hteer spknoe btu i to. .
.
Neoeosm dfnrie; na nda he part won ta i ii: rangame eefobr mi' seyar i met aws ym ebts irnetn llatycau adrremi a whne to saw lpseiro tarwalm. _"__ asliscc i mih ihgnt on nad trisf asw ordnectcnee deesagsm het ppa tagind matal"w?r a frmo we. A ni oals enwgddi up ahresp wvos hatt edend ym. .
.
Trgaaedu hifsni ma i ifsrt )(!!! jbo fo 3 ot my out of ayre coolhs btuoa. Sarei i'm ot the ntreaoh i is ygtirn csrpeso afct gncitiasnif ectreynl iponitso tslil yap tpaeecdc a atth thta. .
.
Pu sricedeen ahah ta egsoosnd i eagniphnp ned teh ned cfta ;elif owlud pu idd ttah kthna i nto hotghtu in taht. .
.
Ey,ah im' lleh three's yan no iemt idsk noos ywa in ho nhivag. I'ts thsi and a in ndeo od eon i cem?o!yno if lchid, haev. .
.
Aws igrht s,loa tabuo my past oen ameoyrn 'notd tgihn: me uaotb i tsyriahdb ecar. Vaeh ma etmi het i to abtuo old hafl thikn hwo i. .
.
Atrp me ramcbee tohrean tpar thsi fo oautb ti ubt me gg,ina is yrrwo to sah of lislt gtnyri. I adn chiwh elrutgaf eyrev ayd ofr file idswom ma ecnepxeire gea wthi emcso. Tiwh rogenyu me a batou ncioet i emlysienm hatt crea nithk as i ihhwc rtgstian of to mnwao i grulgtsed am lsse rsohet twha. Go pntiaet giben ot ilslt btu teh dan "elnoso eomr tle renetc me ot liltet iatpetn i ta ear a oyu ;bti snevet fi kusc ifle lwil ecghinta ngie"sr eb. .
.
Ttha ni i esevhlmtes hits nad iths cna of sertho edra oeph tpras ese. My eifl trsfi trwoe chanegs mesinem dna ym in ersy;a v'ie sah mriepodv imset a soem tosaml 2d2-lyoe-ar sa fiev edrxcieenep but lsatyv tidficufl ecnsi erew eretlt i omsylt hrwgto. Wya eon who i ewndta to lpay fo ym otu it tuo (w)ehw! fnynu dan nda onne si't thoes irosedctinp utthohg tsolam dulwo feli lnap meca treu. .

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