A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ fevi lbogal mapdniec so od wn!o i atht a yasre lwil gsues nevaï you ot sa. .
.
Ma htrswateee on iwth jsho gihh my pl:sorie nogrle hocslo i. Het of eocdniis deedn nbgie tbho ym ,ohcslo chiwh nllafyi fo raey rou i ddecide in iloartseinhp orf veah to tals oucld i btes up ned radeguat d-am-e su. Otehr erew hcae jtsu we icbdleyinr adn we fro hrgeeott 'nerwte rhtig nppyauh. I tbu eysar to in lwle now i eopksn mhi heop dnoig h'se ehn'tav heret. .
.
At fobere nrenti emgrana i na a saw alawtmr esyra lytacaul dan ehnw m'i asw ot ii: esmooen nwo met oslerpi best i he ym diremar ndfeir; rtap. Form a gntaid ftrsi recnteoednc i mgaseesd dna inhtg ew hte iscslca pap on saw __"_ maaw?lrt" imh. Ndeed widgned ovws a up hrapse in hatt ym oasl. .
.
Of nihsfi )!!(! lshooc ayre daeturag 3 ot bjo ym i of otu trsif am uabto. Htta gntiinicafs tnooipsi is tcnelyre tarnoeh pya hte fcta a mi' ersai spercos itsll pdteaecc atht ntiryg ot i. .
.
Aknth den ;efli ta cneesedir ahtt up ctaf soegsdno thta eht tuothhg wlodu idd in haah edn tno i up niaeppgnh i. .
.
In eha,y wya on skid imte yna 'mi gnihva tshre'e hell ho oons. Ihcl,d hsit 'sit od node a ni nad y?e!nmcoo fi i aehv eno. .
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Eon nt'od wsa my em h:nitg i aol,s atuob arce grhit eaoymnr toabu tyahrbids tpsa. Odl i eht who hitnk ot alhf ahev uoatb am item i. .
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Tlsil of eebmrac entoahr me ash trap oaubt it gyirnt em btu is shit tapr yrrow gaig,n to fo. Cihwh i ayd lutgrfea cnpeereixe orf lief eervy hitw smiowd cseom gae am dna. Onwma gustedrgl i i sa ma esls yelimesmn fo neioct to btuoa earc ihcwh htwa tihnk i ttah hwit orsthe em roeyugn a ngitsatr. Uoy go o"nlose iltls ginbe cusk esrngi" a btu ot nteaitp teiangch be het if leif tetipan ecrnte ta nseevt i nad ear ot elt lilw litetl me bi;t eomr. .
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Eemsetsvhl siht fo ni peoh rtpas nad daer this tath hoerts see nac i. A esnmemi meist sah as feiv my etltre eewr tysmlo i'ev ym i gcshnea mrvdeoip uftildicf in tvasly ortew ieepdcernxe ao--yed2rl2 adn censi hrowtg rtsfi ae;rys tlmosa eosm utb file. Watdne tesho hhtgtuo ym adn i eamc sit' uot uter fnynu w!e)h(w of msltao way irostiecnpd nnoe ti flie neo out uwdol dna ot alnp lapy owh. .

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