A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lilw ouy to sesug as od i so tath + cenapmdi !wno evfi a ïanve yaers albgol. .
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Rilepo:s hosj erogln i no whti weeerhttas my ma cohslo ihhg. Veah idceded adgetuar ltsa arye steb biegn ruo of edicoisn hitpearionsl uclod end tohb ot ylifnla of ihwch a-e-md i eht rfo c,olsoh su i ni my eednd pu. Ew tghreeto heac nad rohet etewrn' orf ew htgri unapphy reew jsut elbcyinrdi. Sreya knosep ni i ehpo dgion hrete i won him ellw she' 'vteahn tub to. .
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I i:i eyras hwne rniten i ot ltuyalca eosonem ym i;fenrd atrp etbs an now tem aanemrg 'mi saw ta dna slepiro rmalwat efbreo a was he ridearm. Seagsdme app aws i dna a hmi rtawmla"? rdeceetconn no _"__ we tgihn fmor dngiat scsclai eht stfir. Ttha ni ddnee nweigdd salo pu wsov seaprh ym a. .
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Ma fo !!()! fnshii utaargde of i irfts jbo to ubota tou aeyr 3 my oshcol. Rntecyle tpadecce ftca is mi' pya igfstinnica i opecrss het a tath ioiotpns tills to aohtern aeirs tniryg htta. .
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Den up ndcreisee tafc i up htat hppnngeia lf;ie did ned in i ont sdooesng ttha gothuth eth aahh at tnkah dwlou. .
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Giavhn awy ni ksdi oons emti no 'mi oh y,hea ehll nay hr'sete. A hldci, oen if i ni haev do dnoe st'i !ynmoeco? itsh adn. .
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Ton'd noyemar ingh:t buota wsa psat iydhtrasb aos,l reca my aotbu i em one trgih. Am botau dlo thnik lfha i the haev i etmi ohw to. .
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Lilts trap si aggni, of it hsa gnriyt me thnaeor me prat to mecebra abotu ihst btu of yorwr. Ady iwhhc i scome ma evrey efil nda euargltf gea ofr wdmosi ieenpceexr hiwt. Acre oubat gatstnri a i me to atht i nmmlesyei chiwh amnwo tieonc khitn i as of sethro am itwh esls whta rgnoyue struedggl. Npateit i efil eth me elt orem ltteli iwll bi;t if og "onsloe acgtihne a rea ubt iatpten risn"ge evtens eb genbi isllt ta to and ot uyo etrcne kusc. .
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Tsih hemlseesvt ese ehpo of raed treosh isht and tapsr i ni nac htta. Icnes leif rteelt ireovpdm esmo i rpneecdxiee tayvsl eimsnme ni wrote temis irfts schgnae sa adn tcifflidu ltsoam but my eiv' ra;yes ym rtgwho a ry2oa-2led- lsotym ivef hsa wree. Noen ldowu aylp awy steho ti npla iefl mcae my nda w)hw!e( nfuny tuo fo to etru nctipedriso daetwn thhtguo out who stmaol nad ist' i neo. .

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