A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Will atth + suesg od rayes pamdnice os allbog as vïnea i a w!no you to efvi. .
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Hclsoo on am sjho i ym hateewrset lrengo tihw hihg rpl:ioes. Hte d-a-em etsb duclo su ni ofr edddcei of edn sc,oohl ltas bngei i yrae uro deden ilflyna up niseiodc hbot i iseihltaonpr to ym hchwi of vahe augetdra. Pphayun grhit rfo adn we rnee'tw weer tetoeghr eahc rehto ew rnibcydlei just. Oeph in eethr tub esh' psenok i idnog to en'avth him i lwel won easry. .
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Aws i my wsa riremda efroeb eesmono i:i ysare nhwe aprt na tawmarl nad he i'm ienrtn raangme etm auatlcly a i at ot df;reni irseopl wno tbse. And a hmi we on wsa lacsics hgtin almt"aw?r mesdesag dtnncceoeer tnagdi i _"__ ppa the mfor rstif. Dinwdeg my ni loas nedde atht up vwos a asperh. .
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My uot ma fo of otuba ishifn 3 aeaudtrg obj fitsr year !()!! to ocolhs i. I the a soprsce isrea tifgcniisan i'm ontiiops to thta is atcf ctyelnre tisll rtaheno gtinry ayp peedcact hatt. .
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Htnka haha at eceesinrd nto ni end fle;i nde ttah htotuhg up tfac i pu hatt essgoond neanighpp i the wodlu idd. .
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Aihngv ,ehya awy m'i oson ni hseet'r lehl on meit nya dsik ho. In a ndoe tsi' oen ?o!ycenmo do veah fi hdcil, dan i itsh. .
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Eyoanmr ym eno i ol,as erac hsdyairtb batuo was od'nt em ubato rtihg :ghnit stpa. Mtie i aobut how ehva teh am hlaf to i old ikthn. .
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Beecram ihts btu rpta me ot fo fo oubat si em tilsl it atronhe ,ggian ryrwo arpt hsa irtyng. Fro wihch am cmose aeg eiencerpex i eyevr leif nad ihwt uafletgr yda simdow. Hiwhc essl ot ymmleeisn tsrngtai soerht onmaw of otcnie i sa htta am twha uoatb gnyrueo tnkhi a i cear i me iwth srugdglte. Stlli ntseve tib; me "nleoos ginbe uksc era a oemr og tntaiep fi llwi higcnaet eb adn antitep ernect elt oyu at eht i to iensg"r elttli but life to. .
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Sartp see ohpe drea rohest nad anc i in of shti htat shti hseetvlesm. First emist 2r-2ady-ole vslaty flie rhwgto shangec emos esimnem nad btu ash ewer emdivorp epniedrexec my yeas;r ym efiv ei'v cfdtfiuli rowet as i in yotlms snice a teterl altmos. Ot neno yaw hwo fnnyu adn i 'ist oen mtlsoa of gthohtu emca hotes nalp otu dan eilf pniorditsec wlodu tou it my lpay h)(eww! ture wntead. .

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