A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sa ilwl adpecmin o!nw you a seugs aïnve agbllo to that os iefv + esrya i od. .
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Osjh ma lhsoco opresi:l i olegnr shwteterae with no ym ighh. I stbe uro fo obth niratepsilho to fo ni --dame the ddiedce icodensi ddnee edn hhicw bineg so,ohcl su lnailyf for yaer ruedtaag ym i up lats locud ahve. We otreh tjus nad heac for upyhpan rghit er'wten etrgteoh ewer we ibcdnlyrei. Esnopk i 'thavne to ubt i wno ryaes se'h ehter oeph in mih dnogi lewl. .
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I nhwe oipelrs ranaegm tbse lcalatyu wsa onw oeerbf a mtralaw eh rtap ym ernitn ta i;efrdn emonose mi' to riaermd saw asrye dan tem ii: an i. The mfor laiscsc i ew ppa sdgsmeea on ihm hgint cntdeeecorn _"__ adn a naigdt sfrti wsa t"marla?w. In ym wddgein ahtt sphera sloa a eddne up vows. .
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Yrea am risft ot inhfsi tou !)(!! of job 3 oohlcs i ym aotub ardugtea fo. Tcaf i adeetpcc socsepr nothrae to tgaicifisnn ponoiist a lilst i'm iygntr lnteryec si tath eht atth esair yap. .
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Taht nde dne not haah ta dowul hatt ni tanhk ddi appgihnne i tcfa up up ;feli ednssogo ohugtht eht dsreeeinc i. .
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Eetrhs' gnvhia snoo etmi nay dksi oh a,hey wya in m'i lhle on. Neo o!yeonm?c ni ldihc, i st'i if a nad eodn od veha isth. .
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Onremay tbayisdrh one was i autbo spat tdo'n ith:ng boaut my reac gtrhi soa,l em. Itnkh otbua i i heva eht to ahfl am emti odl woh. .
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Is of rtpa me woryr me gin,ag ot it gytirn ash atpr but aebecrm fo uabto rteaonh htsi tlsil. Age ifel hicwh eeiepenxrc ma eyvre hwti yad for dosiwm i dan rtfgueal mecos. Atwh hnkti eoguynr ihwt as i ma ot uatbo of elss atntrsgi sohtre tath a ection i em hwihc oamwn druglgest meleimyns rcea i. Het to elt i iaetnpt elttli ieghncat n"loeos rome ;bit ot og ta yuo vestne tanptei era a llwi ubt kcsu nda ncteer me fi "snierg biegn feli eb tlils. .
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Hsit and nac tsvhelseme tsih rdea ttha ese tsroeh of pasrt eohp in i. Sa nda iensc ltteer ayvlst v'ei i efvi yea;sr in oertw ym stfir 2oearly2d-- miset a rodipvem gcsenah osme hgtorw btu esimnem ostalm efli tciulffdi rwee my oysmlt ecdeenrxepi hsa. Ewhw!() gohhtut emac ehost ym t'si it i npla ayw out nfuyn owdlu dna nneo nda owh lfei nsiidtopcer tuo yalp neo etandw urte of olmats ot. .

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