A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ttah as + ïaven lgaolb od mneacpdi a lliw fiev so susge i uoy ow!n to asrey. .
.
Jsoh oschol am roespi:l no sewaterthe ym tihw ghih engolr i. Pu cdulo ni ngbie dne cso,hol lsat of evha eray deden i us doiicnes auetadrg btoh eht d-ae-m uor fo i ihaperolints sbte ym deidedc ifnylal whihc fro to. Nda rwee erten'w ew totrehge fro appynhu ache we hgrti retoh briyildnce stju. Vh'aetn 'she mih lwel i oesnpk but onw ohep eryas i diong to rethe in. .
.
Ucytalla i own innret he i:i mardire tbse talwamr wsa mi' hwne ifndre; brefoe tme i nad eomones ersya my wsa ot raaengm na elisopr ta aptr a. On a edmgases ew nad mhi i tcdeoneencr atidng asw ofmr _"__ het app "wtrlma?a tnghi frsit aiclscs. My loas taht in a dignwde srpeha pu wvos eednd. .
.
Nsifhi am i gaedratu to fo !(!!) 3 fo out job yare ym tbuao fstri chloso. To lislt oprssce si ireas i 'im eetpcacd gitnry a hreanto yclteren hte psiitono fcat atht thta tanisfcgiin ayp. .
.
Htta thoghut ahtnk lwuod fcta up in ttah het onsgsoed at dne nto nde did i epginahnp i pu iefl; sneeredci hhaa. .
.
'mi ho nya lleh no hvniag meit onos etr'esh ,heya ywa idks ni. A cdh,li nda od odne aehv it's in oen ycomne?o! fi i hist. .
.
Utoab igthr uoabt tpsa yibdtarsh oen ecra i em 'dont so,al ym rnmyoea nt:gih saw. Lod i ma ehva eitm to i eth itnhk aflh how aobtu. .
.
Ani,gg prat em tauob bercema sha fo ot ltils is me thornae ti hits of btu rryow prta igrnty. Graltefu smoce ady i dan epcienerex yeevr flei am chhiw dosiwm ofr itwh eag. Fo itwh esothr i elss me acer tknih to nticeo i wmona ma whchi i a sa hatt ugrledsgt imemlysne obtua hatw astntirg unrgoye. Omer itnepat tiltel to ntiaept ibneg scku higtacne b;ti be eth ouy eoo"lsn aer entecr me life but still if liwl neg"sir teenvs a ta ot lte i og dan. .
.
Nda in i drea fo hpeo satpr tish ihts nca ees htta hvmeesetls rhsote. Secagnh utb isrtf ufdlifict erotw nda ym ahs a rewe ni saomlt eopmdirv smeo mneimes mtyosl ym ysr;ea efil evif idrepneceex nscei lteter grthwo v'ie i vstlay msite as e-l22-adyor. Ewdatn nlap uter i who hoset pyal dna tsi' none ynfun tuhtgoh wudol acme ot my csipdeortin uto oen of )whwe(! nad astmlo it ayw tuo leif. .

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