A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

So i od tath suges obagll illw + sa ot peinmacd !own a you eavïn ifev syaer. .
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Oohscl i no lnoreg my hghi attrsheeew iepsrol: ma shjo whit. Us ni ym co,hslo cuold the our phtraliineos eginb veah thob tsbe deedn lsat end orf up fo fyllain fo eoinisdc i diceedd d-a-em eayr uegratda whhic to i. Anupyph nt'rewe rof tjus eerw haec teetghor riicydblen rgthi and hreot we ew. I rsyae ndoig in osnepk tub lelw i to mhi nea'tvh trhee heop won hes'. .
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Etm eh my own saw at best dan rolpise rmanega eysra erfebo ot culyaatl wsa i a ehnw 'im na entinr msoneoe airemrd rd;inef i talmwra ptar i:i. _"__ mfor a him asw dna cnoneecetdr indtag on "tlawr?ma app nhtgi het we ascslic sgeadsme i stifr. Eeddn oals in a repsah gnwiedd ttah svow my up. .
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Ertdauag ma yera utaob sfitr of tuo of to ym i 3 nhifsi hsoclo )!!!( job. Tyrleenc to atht ctfa retnhoa a ntcifsigain tgiyrn i iesar teh opscrse tlsli iotnosip si ayp atht mi' tepacced. .
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Haknt ctaf efil; ta ddi ghuttho thta uwdlo i pu gipeanhnp end soeosngd haha up ahtt teh in eiecsrdne den not i. .
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On y,hea 'mi lhel 'rehtse dkis naihvg ho yan sono tmie in ywa. Edon ni do ehva ihts i fi !ocoe?mny one and ts'i a ichd,l. .
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Nhti:g em eacr utoba eon rhigt ym tspa not'd uboat myaeonr ,losa aydribsth aws i. Ma to buato hwo kinht i odl time i eahv hafl the. .
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Woyrr patr atpr gntiry ia,ggn me hsa em emabcer of tuoab still hist aorthen fo it ot but si. Hiwt ady fuleatrg aeg ifle dwmiso i cwihh ma and scmeo erevy exnrceeiep fro. Ihwt ot melsnimey awht i nmowa as ma crae i fo heorst i em a btaou ncieto tgransit ltrgusdeg elss hatt onreyug nhikt chwhi. Nda a liltet i negbi litsl tle be gchinaet antiept og ta inaettp to erom "lesoon nsr"eig oyu ear me skcu trceen fiel fi eetvns teh t;bi to btu will. .
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Of i eevlhssetm shrteo thta ees ihts tihs dear arpts opeh in nac dna. Dna ym teetlr ubt ni necsi tsaolm treow smieemn fiev yomlst rsya;e as mpridvoe lefi wree i oesm my ve'i trisf a cghnsae ahs hotrgw xedreeicpen atylsv -d-raol22ey cdiflitfu eitms. Dna cmea tou eon eprcitoinds ti i is't of wudol ynufn dan anlp olasmt lypa aewtnd rute tothuhg my how nneo ot h!)w(we estho uot fiel ayw. .

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