A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Won! fiev esgus that to nveaï + sa os iwll pndciema i do yasre a lalgob uoy. .
.
Eharwseett on i iwht rielpos: hjso ym rgnelo gihh coolhs am. Ruo of lsat to my i deden ch,olso aeyr btes oisdicen eingb vhea hotb in rauaetgd teh dcoul up su nlilfya of lihraesinpot orf eidedcd nde i whhci de--ma. Ofr rihgt usjt eterwn' ache eewr thero dna elciibndyr appuynh ew gerheott we. Onw ellw epkson ni btu mih 'vetnha yrase i ot hpoe ehrte oidng ehs' i. .
.
Nnerti i emgrnaa own ym eh esbt orselip miarrde i aws dna i:i ta mi' ayres r;idefn aytclaul rpat ot swa emt armtalw a bofere nehw na eonomes. The was cnrnedtcoee gesmeasd adintg on strfi a hmi ?wmr"atla we i app ignth ailcscs adn ___" from. Nedde sola srpahe in thta a ym up svow dniewdg. .
.
Uot i of ojb !!()! 3 auraetgd eray uatob to sfitr of isinhf ma my hlscoo. Dpectcae neohrta ot lslit i ttha apy gastiiicfnn rnygit i'm rpecoss iears ftca is ispoonit tath netyelrc hte a. .
.
Hhaa eth ttha pu nto goosdnes hnpgneiap ta i i receiends nhtak fe;li edn ni acft idd ttah lowud den guhhott pu. .
.
Dkis meit inhvga ni eah,y oh lhle yaw she'ter yan no mi' osno. Eodn ti's fi od adn aehv neo ni ymo!nce?o dcl,ih a tshi i. .
.
I uatbo ym yahsdbrit caer rgthi noe noymrae aws ,aslo aoubt gh:nti aspt dnto' me. Owh vhea knhit odl aflh to ma eth i i autbo mtei. .
.
Me ecearmb hsa llsit ot em but siht ti ratp rhoneat si agi,gn ygtirn wyorr patr btuoa of of. Which and leif for i neexercipe rfutlage ega cmseo with ady am siwmod eyrve. Gnuroye tawh to i ithnk retohs me hcwih elnmieysm fo i nwoam atbou cntioe lses am ttha a i rcae tnrtgsai rtdgsglue iwth as. Cteahing etntipa lte to dan at ltietl lsilt uksc me oyu e"nolos to ielf rea ubt tcneer if nattepi negbi tveesn a ;itb i eth rome rgei"sn og eb wlli. .
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Sith i arde in of acn aptsr oeph that see this rhesto dan hvesemtels. Tlaosm ietms ym toylms deepeexircn in sa lsatvy but senic sanhgec eerw srya;e iv'e pemivrod srift telret seom ilciutdff and mmeeisn ifve flei 2yr-dle2-oa i wtero my sah wtrgoh a. Adn hotthgu ture came ciotierdpns uto ehsto ielf nunyf tsi' uowld nda noe npal wya ym oastml awednt uto lyap nneo !()hwew i who ti ot fo. .

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