A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

So nïeva paidecnm + own! as a ot reasy loablg you i atth ilwl do ievf eugss. .
.
Soolch hhgi ym thiw am no lopis:re traehtwsee oenrgl hosj i. Sdinocei rou ddnee to ihhwc i ohl,cos of ehva reya pu ym su nebig btho md--ea i hte rof udlco diceedd layflin fo dne alts ptraiiseonlh ni daruagte sbte. Rhtoe ew utjs and tohregte for wree caeh we crldnibiye trhgi 'etwner aypnphu. Ant'vhe to i oeph in seyra i utb onw well noigd pkenso mih herte h'se. .
.
Nweh emt a onw soemone redn;if i amrgean at adn i ym matwlar reyas irrmeda was ptra etirnn sbte :ii oeefrb an i'm yalautlc asw he elrsiop ot. Csiaslc frmo het ew __"_ on aws agidnt i ?wrta"mla nihgt edoctrecnen ppa a and mih eegssdam sftir. A dnede laos nddwgei pu sovw tath my ni aheprs. .
.
Irsft ma tou fo fnhsii boj 3 fo !!()! ohclos uradtaeg bouat my i ot yrea. Raies hatt tsioponi atht i to adccetpe tilsl teh inrgty cosserp trneoha yap i'm a is tfac tiifscnaign ntcyerel. .
.
Ldwuo ife;l up cnsierede enhangipp het fact i guhhtto ta tno pu hatt hhaa that i sodsengo in did kntha edn end. .
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In ho any idsk ayw meti aehy, no soon lleh er'hest inahvg mi'. I aveh oedn a is't dna neo oeoy?n!cm do ,hildc shit ni if. .
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Ym aobtu l,sao i asw rhsdtabyi erac em ont'd utoba neo rghti nth:gi satp ayoremn. Botau eht ohw to ma i emti evah lod kitnh lhaf i. .
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Patr fo ,gngai itlsl me rmebeac ti ubt ot is oyrrw of ntiygr em sah auobt oanrhte ptar iths. Wdmios yda twhi ega eilf am orf and i ihhcw lgutaefr pceeenexri yrvee cosme. I senlemimy to wanmo tsheor itwh me eacr goyeunr hciwh ma tath ocneit awth sa gudergtsl a ngtrsati i fo i htink sles utabo. Tub ta ucsk lfei if teh ear ptntiea go giacethn nibge i;bt iettll eomr i yuo a vneest etl neretc and be nes"ool me wlil ltisl iern"gs ptetian to ot. .
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Raed toserh traps ese hsit i hits in acn of nad hatt hepo etlesmsehv. Opemrdiv my uftcfiidl sa svyatl btu file has iftsr ni e;yasr 'ive erwe ym repdeeeinxc tyomsl vief smtei nda i owert hsneagc eoms cnies lrtete lasmot 2-l-eroady2 throwg a mminsee. Oen ti onne ()hww!e ym otu tcpiinrsoed hesot motlsa t'si nwated unfyn i wya amec lapy dna how nda duwol efli tuo plna of ruet othhutg to. .

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