A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ivfe ot wlli ïaven od ssgue aseyr edapimnc as gbloal i + os ouy n!ow tath a. .
.
I sojh erglon cohlos hitw aetersethw on gihh ym ols:pier ma. Nde ebgni eyra ym i layifln coldu su fo in of rou i up ecisnido dedne ecddedi chhwi fro a--mde ohtb gradueat ot aslt iloenasihtpr hslo,co haev eth tseb. Rof hgrti rewe ew hroet and wnrte'e we happyun aech icblneirdy sjtu hrtgotee. I i eterh ot arsye ndiog ohep now lewl nopske ubt in 'she aevhtn' mhi. .
.
M'i nweh aenarmg wno lyatuacl i :ii eh adn saw swa etnrni prat ryaes orbeef at ;fiedrn my trawlma roipesl an i a to ebts imdrear tme mooesen. Adeemssg no adn eth dnigat imh ecrneotcnde ihntg _"__ mrof asw csslcai i isftr we a ma?"altrw ppa. Vosw ym that up a olas ni ended niewgdd ahpesr. .
.
Tou 3 eary to !)(!! irtfs ym jbo fo fo i csoohl batuo fhnisi am aeurgtda. Yertcnle i nioopits 'mi thta to gtynir pya a riesa ctaepdec eht srcepos taht fact trnhaeo tfingiisnac si ltlsi. .
.
Het atth ni thta ;eifl ned otuhtgh did pu at i ont hhaa kntah gihaepnpn i ftca oludw edn up gsesnodo rceiesden. .
.
Ho tmie 'im ayw dksi nsoo htrse'e y,eha lelh ighvan ni ayn on. A if eon od ihts 'ist ?n!oeocmy icdh,l deno ahev in i dan. .
.
Not'd taps :nthig rtydbhsai me neo wsa ls,ao boatu my bauot githr i aonryme cera. I dlo to buaot am i mite the avhe aflh tinkh hwo. .
.
Thsi crmeeab fo fo ateorhn to niag,g atpr worry sltil prta oabtu ti tub sha gitnry me em si. Rfo aeg mscoe lfutearg nad vreey iwhhc siowdm am neerpeecix life i dya ihtw. Teshro mwnao to cenoit of i sgdgtuler i nisrgtat ma egourny lsse memsniyle hatw a em as ttah arec i nihkt bouta hcihw thiw. Ltlsi tpaneti eb a to if eomr het kcsu og at yuo tub icehtnag enestv efil t;ib enitapt "loesno i ot recten aer tlitel me adn n"segir etl iebgn wlli. .
.
Hsit i in of oeshrt rtasp hmveseltes atth epho cna nda hsti edar ese. In rwee icnes sa osytlm mensime my fistr rweto vtasyl itmes v'ei but wrhtgo and mose vief ym sah yes;ar elif tertle edceieernxp a ehgcsna dovmrepi i ufcfildit oe2ay--2ldr olasmt. I lamtso nyfun iefl nad (wh)e!w mcae denawt uto wya noe rteu dan pnal my owh out luwod ot ti 'sit lypa enon of thuhtog dipnoeistrc ehsot. .

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