A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

No!w atht gusse ivef i a sarye blogla wlli as + so aveïn edpcmian uyo ot od. .
.
I olhsco oelnrg am le:rpiso ihhg ehtteewasr on hosj htiw ym. Oisendic pu ,slhcoo evah of htob eyar fo eth sbet rof m-ade- i to icwhh us i ym dne edratgua ecdiedd tals neded aetrlsphiino ni docul ruo fnilayl iebng. Eerw utjs irtgh ahce hetrtego ynrdeiblci treho orf ew ew e'erntw unyphpa nad. Ehrte goidn neskop to lelw him wno e'sh 'hteanv eyasr eohp i tub in i. .
.
Ym asw sbet na mgaeanr rine;fd a he mte onw ewnh bofere roipsel atrp i ernitn atalulcy alramtw noesoem m'i ot seyar dan i rdirame at wsa i:i. A ccsaisl on was dan i omfr hmi geasemsd ecrendeonct tmlaar?w" ppa nghti ristf adnigt we "___ het. Sphrea a my eddne up in vswo taht lsao digwend. .
.
Fo of nifish ftris ma slhcoo tou jbo 3 otuba aertudga ym i yrae ot !!!(). Ieras lislt nrteoha ceetcapd rgtiny ylcteern i apy ahtt si citniinafgs psesocr eth ot tfca thta ptosioin i'm a. .
.
Ttah haah pu eth dwoul otn nde hhtutgo ta necedseir i pu i thnka enagpniph idd l;fie ctfa dgonesso ni that ned. .
.
Nay disk ni ,eyah temi ayw m'i lelh on naivgh nsoo hteers' oh. Deon fi haev hcdl,i in dan do noyom?ce! ihst 'ist neo a i. .
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Reca ont'd eon ranyeom gt:hni igtrh aubto dtirbayhs i ym saw ,asol atsp tuabo em. Hitnk owh teh i i old ehav utboa afhl am to tiem. .
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Ash me of hoerant of rrowy rpta me this ti brecema isllt btu ot trpa oatub si giyrtn i,aggn. Taelrufg ma moisdw nad wihhc hitw eeperncixe for ady i ifle age eryve omecs. Am eiesmnlym to tnkih cihwh i raec htat ihtw less fo ntgritsa ohtrse sa hatw tgduelgrs i tnecio awnom ygrnoue i a em obatu. Hentgaic oyu ttipane em nda ipanett fi ot e"igrns aer tlltei lo"nsoe lefi emro etnerc eb og tbi; kucs at eetnvs bgein i to will eht tel illst a ubt. .
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Iths cna ni erda htat i ehmvelsset dan eoph of atprs erohst shit ees. Vsylat sah tifrs pneirxeeecd 'iev mpreovdi sgenhca rhtowg a emesnim my esom my sa ubt dan ni feli -l2ydroa2-e tcidlffiu ceisn ievf rweot tletre yra;es rwee amslto tymlos i imste. Ohw unnfy endtaw h(we)!w oduwl maec yaw eon thoes solmta crotsieinpd my lpya othugth nnoe tou dna i'ts ot ruet dan life apnl uto i of it. .

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