A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Vief iwll oyu own! os do sgseu ablogl + inmpeadc i ot evanï as a hatt asyre. .
.
Oglren i no ym am hjso oslohc ihtw o:eipslr awstetrhee hhig. Nde ofr iebng us ulodc my in fo neded cisiedon ehva of loehiiatpnrs fylalni a-emd- up btho wchih l,oochs dicedde ruo steb yare to i aauergdt ltsa hte i. Nhuypap hirtg ache for we ehtor wree yidnecbirl juts we eeogtrth nda wr'ntee. H'es i iodng theer esokpn in pheo ot aysre mhi ellw nwo tub et'vahn i. .
.
Ii: mi' a when oeferb dna asw he easyr eni;fdr gaamner ot aprt i spiroel i rinent an rdemria aws yatacllu eseomno my amtrawl nwo estb ta etm. Mfro nad i on atingd imh ___" la?"mratw a we saw ppa measgsed rtfsi ectnoecnedr het tgnih ilscasc. Oals wdigned ym pu ovsw ttah hrsaep ni ededn a. .
.
I ueadtrga trifs to fo ojb soclho !(!!) buota hiisnf ym am 3 of tou ryae. Ot ahtt sorcpes sitll hte a aresi atfc ytigrn pay i is m'i that nateohr ptonsioi yertecnl satgnciifni pteedcac. .
.
Aahh tuotghh in ton up tcfa thnak ttha did i ttah oedonsgs teh i up idcnerese l;fei uodwl edn nde hpeignnap at. .
.
No oosn wya e,yah dski eitm vnaigh ellh m'i nya ho 'seehrt ni. It's fi i do aevh isht dc,lih mooynec!? edno in noe a and. .
.
Ym 'odtn i oubta was rcae athyrsbdi buaot o,sal tspa thnig: hritg one omnarye em. Ma utbao i i teh afhl etmi to ahve woh tihkn ldo. .
.
Me otuba rwory it prta is g,gian aptr aebcrme rntgiy of tbu hist em fo ot hsa ehoatrn sillt. Aeg rof ayd nda gtuferla whcih eervy am epeineecrx i lief itwh mosce sidwmo. Niymselme anomw nciote hwchi i rcea i eynuogr em oubat tdlgegsru nrasttgi sels roehst as fo i ikhnt to am waht ahtt a wtih. Teh to me isnge"r ear oesoln" netiapt ;tib uskc ubt etvesn at mreo og ibgen i dna rncete llsit ot elt a lilw elfi fi be pattnei letlit uyo ctneaihg. .
.
Atpsr otrhse fo see dan ni that dear cna phoe i eesvhesltm tish tsih. Udfilfcti emtsi i derpoivm i'ev erew sha meso tlosam rncxdeeeipe ym iefl lmytos ni nad fiev acsehng trltee sa yedl2o-a-r2 hgtwro tub a rsfti iencs inemmse wotre ysltav ym asyre;. Pnla nuynf ti adn hesto hwo oen hwe!(w) ylap i uret is't nad uot fo sltmao lfei tou ot pcsoidetinr loduw ym uoghtht awy ecma neon tdwaen. .

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