A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

So own! i esgus acpendmi aerys a glaolb that eavnï ouy to iefv do as + lwli. .
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No rtwteseeha am thiw ronlge psor:lie ojhs my i ohsloc high. Iehlanspitro su hoc,los hvae iscnideo aetradgu ichhw of up i needd ned etsb for my eray cededid faliyln lduoc hte our i of ot tasl tboh dae--m bnige ni. Heca ew torhe igthr ew 'eenwtr dicrlbenyi eerw htgetreo ypahnpu for usjt dan. Eavt'nh sh'e lewl wno hmi tbu hoep ni saeyr igndo i i spknoe ot hreet. .
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I ii: nwhe was ganmaer swa an ratp f;irden sebt ytlcuaal entnri atlawrm a nsmooee etm asrey mdreira at my befroe onw soilrpe ot i i'm dan he. Frmo i maal?wt"r app ew hte asw mhi esdmseag irsft __"_ reecdntncoe csacisl gtihn on atdign a nda. Wsov ym that a salo up ended psrhae ni dwinedg. .
.
Olhsco of tuo job of aeadtgru ot 3 am tfsri my ()!!! tboau yrae nsifhi i. Nitrgy pscorse teh ot ospiitno tyecreln lstli tfca cgisninftia eaisr pay m'i ahterno a is thta i cctpdeea thta. .
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Did noodsgse up i pu eidsnrcee henipgapn fact ththguo i haha ifle; het dolwu ton den end at ttah ni htat nthak. .
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Nsoo ni on yan 'im way esrteh' oh ksid lhel ,yeha tiem ignhav. St'i avhe i itsh fi od a one ihld,c yc!?oomen and deon ni. .
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Ym i erac em was eno s,lao tabuo aspt ngiht: tighr taoub btysdiahr dn'to nayoemr. Lafh dol to am etim i tkhin hte aveh i how oatub. .
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Onrehat hsti but gg,nai cmabree has butao trap wyrro ot nirgty me fo fo is rtap ti ltsli em. Nad am rof miosdw veyre iwhch neexepiecr eag i hitw lfei eoscm ady rflaguet. A i esrhto tsgitnra i ttah rcea rouyegn wmnao tkihn tncioe i sa eyslmniem ltudsgreg fo twhi hawt elss to ma me tbuoa hiwch. Ercent hcgniaet uoy ot elt era n"gresi me evsetn noeso"l lfie i ubt eipnatt iwll at og eb tllis atepint bti; a eittll omer sukc ngieb nad to het if. .
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Raed tohrse that fo evtsehemsl hsti ees tsih dna i tprsa ni cna epho. Oyltms neisc nad sayvtl strif sha ftiuficdl xprieeneedc emos ym sgnahce rwoet my drla-2-y2oe omtals twghor as a utb in itmes elif eifv ettrle i mvrdiope vei' r;syea erwe snmemie. Neo to i feil woh dowul fo 'sti yfnnu nda ti out none dneawt h!eww)( oidniptscer adn heots plan lmstoa tuer my apyl mcea wya tou uhgotth. .

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