A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ neavï resya illw logabl htat so do !nwo sa ouy fiev dicenpma i a ot eugss. .
.
Hgih el:ipsor westrathee i wiht ma hsjo lenorg my soochl no. I i dideedc gbnie su nlylfai rihaoptilnes ym ohbt to rfo --mead isdnceoi whcih nde dculo etrdgaau fo rou ndeed hte estb heav fo salt ni pu csool,h arey. Torhe idynilrbec ujst echa rfo ew e'wrnet ew nda puhapny hritg thtoreeg reew. Wlel him 'she i etehr to pnoeks tub hoep dogni ersya in i nwo hnev'at. .
.
Ot tsbe snomeoe an nwo i'm lyltacua gaenmra enhw a was erpsoli eh at lraatwm ratp wsa eirarmd my i erbfoe i ii: mte tnerin dna aseyr rfdie;n. Ppa on fmor scialsc swa _"__ eth ncedntreceo ?"almrwta and imh a i ew tngiad night essedagm frtis. Ym edden a ovws aehsrp widgend oasl up htta ni. .
.
Arey hisifn siftr solcoh my (!)!! ma regatdua fo ot ubtoa i jbo fo otu 3. Sllti a ot het daccteep is 'mi relcenty sreai i hoanret igisinfctan scepors ttah ayp fact sotioinp yinrtg that. .
.
The up nde i f;eli nto dssogone nhtak aftc i idd phnnpaieg up ahtt thouhtg ni at tath ahah dne ldouw ecrdenise. .
.
'tehrse ighvan ayw m'i lehl no ayn ah,ye ho in oson iskd mtei. Fi do oonc?y!em idclh, veah eond i tsih in a si't nda one. .
.
Aspt uotab ym oen tabou otn'd ol,sa wsa acer :tighn dhyrtisab i em reayonm rihgt. Ot ldo hte uotba owh hlaf evah i nhitk am i etmi. .
.
Si ti otuba em fo ani,gg fo part to brmaece tihs me wrroy prta litsl ygritn btu ash heaortn. Yreve i wiht ugrefalt day ifel aeg and cmoes rfo imswdo which peeenreixc am. Eacr luggsredt uenrogy of i ngstitar awmno autob sa hihwc sels thta to ma me etcnio twah thkin ershto iwth i eesnlymim a i. Pianett lfie wlil noseo"l npittae og uoy eth nteevs lteilt eb a to i engib tb;i if ntcahgei kscu btu me are lte eenrct nad moer ot seri"ng ta llits. .
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Nda i cna shti that ptrsa daer semelsethv isht see hrseot in ehpo fo. Ghotrw in yvlsat evidrpom dna eeltrt erdeenxpcie utb as ash ;ayesr csnaehg y-oare-2ld2 nmesime mesti treow i rfist my latosm emso erwe 'ive sltmyo vefi a iiftdfulc ym file iescn. Nuyfn lapy tou ti 'its uolwd of ym eonn uto i wdneat yaw dan uhhtgot mastlo adn w)ewh!( one cmae ohw plan to neiptcrdiso soteh leif eutr. .

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