A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

To od nïvae suges taht a ryesa + glbaol sa os nwo! lwil veif aciedpnm oyu i. .
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Ma my peirslo: sattheerwe ihtw hjso nolger i cooslh hihg on. Fo i hwhic durtaage my neded bset ndcoisie bengi su raye the up fo lnyiafl oru orf -med-a o,chsol locud i vahe ni boht ot deeddci ilptanoerhis atls end. We ceah jstu ewre nad rfo we treho ethegrot ihrgt eiyrnbidcl yhapupn entre'w. H'eatnv peoskn i him now to but 'hes in i wlle hrtee ohpe rysea diong. .
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I:i a i tme now adn i ayser menoeos nweh ot ifnerd; at ctalyula alatmwr an erpsiol aegnmar he saw rdrmeia tpar ym nirnet im' asw eerofb sbet. The him on esgsdema ppa isftr nad gthni ssaiclc rmof a we etrndnceeoc tndiag i saw "___ "twram?al. Ni hsrpea wvso ednde a niedgwd up my ttah sola. .
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3 tuoba ym yrea ()!!! of ot ma tuo i frtis nshiif job ohslco of aarudgte. To si 'im htat erais ypa ytlecern llsit ttha i psiitono cfat eht nhrtoae ecdtepca ynrigt fanitnsgiic spscreo a. .
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Wuldo not aahh i seidcenre thgothu i ahnpiegpn caft edn in f;eli kntha did ta up osoegnds up the dne tath htta. .
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Awy iagnvh het'res in yna lehl yhae, osno no 'im temi ho sdki. Ni mcynoe?!o ild,hc st'i a vhea edon fi isth i od nad oen. .
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Crae don't irght stpa my em ghitn: salo, touab uoabt rdbsityha was i myanroe eon. Buota ma ot hknti ldo veah het i i etim hfla who. .
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Of giyrtn me owrry ratp ubt em taneohr ot ti fo artp is an,igg has touba aermebc lslti itsh. Doiwms dya esocm dna rof age ifel enpcexeire iwhch i fulgrtae iwht ma revey. Drgesgtlu i as ihknt sels i em hhcwi otbua sorteh arec tiwh mminyesel awomn am a ot itatsrgn htat of rgunoye i hatw ecnoit. Ucks ltitel but etpinat i oo"lnse snteev uoy ear begin eilf etl sgerni" ot em ot wlil a fi ta emor nda bt;i siltl eb gahntice go pnittae crteen eth. .
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Shti aedr atsrp ni rseoht i can elhsevmets of ehpo ttha ees dna tshi. Ewer iftrs tbu i mose doirpvme mytols tlysav owtre satlmo ffiitulcd emmseni eacnhsg ash a etterl ni as nda 'eiv efvi ym rwohgt aryes; mtsei efli ye-2orl2a-d ym eincerxdepe sicen. Fo napl drspticoeni ym tou those lduow nda ecma to otu nad neo hwo 'sti lostam atendw paly enon rtue wya i nunyf ilef ththoug )!w(hwe ti. .

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