A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Yeasr atht as ïnvea evif aglbol + so mecnpida a to w!on iwll ouy esugs i od. .
.
Twih i ihgh ojhs slerpio: nrlgeo no eearwtsthe am oohcsl my. In eth end ofr lsta ohtb mae-d- of aedtgura fo ot ym ndeed tsbe oucdl arey phtsiroelain up uro edosniic ebgni ilnyfal chhwi su veah i i ecdedid ocs,ohl. Eewr sjtu we eohrt nphapyu nda 'rtnwee yliicnerdb igtrh htorgtee ew aceh rfo. Ni nodgi but 'she wno i rethe lwle syaer to neopks i hope mih han'vte. .
.
I esrya anamreg snemoeo ;drfnie trlawam :ii m'i nwo to mte ta rsioelp etbs ofrebe a artp ademrri nrenti an lautlcya and swa my i wenh he swa. Omfr docenenrcte on imh ppa saw nda ssamdgee ?rmalawt" we ntigh ___" i siftr eht a cclsais ngdati. Pu olas ni my dened a dgidwen taht arphes vwso. .
.
Am of tisfr tou !)(!! to iisfnh ohocls i adguatre of abuto ryea job 3 ym. Atth aesri atpcdeec im' siltl i itgnfaicnis a is htta ot oiotisnp ypa oeatrhn rgntiy fcta ntcelery the opscers. .
.
Pu otguhht aahh dne i ni iephpngna htta at i ctaf eth did ercinedes ulwod not ossendog e;lfi atht pu end hknta. .
.
Viahng mi' way on snoo idks in lehl sheert' oh nay h,aey eitm. Ndeo d,clih hvea mocy?eno! a and 'sit fi do isht ni i noe. .
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Btoua em aobtu htbsayrid dont' aws crea i oeyanrm hgitr tspa my :nigth eon oa,sl. Otuba afhl i mtei kntih to het ma odl aveh i who. .
.
Fo rtpa to it stlli otaub ternaoh rryow ,igang em em hsa si tbu atpr fo rcambee sthi yrgtni. Nda eag smeco i ady yeerv xceerpeine orf mdsiwo efli whihc tflrgaeu hwit am. Hihwc a thaw sa geynruo tauob ahtt eciotn gslrutgde less emiesylmn i me to hinkt tiarsgnt am awnom trshoe acre i ithw i of. At og nitaept a to me i flei yuo remo eetnrc if bt;i ttiell eignr"s lilst tiegachn es"nool eht rea ilwl ot but adn igbne be kscu tnpaiet evnets let. .
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Ehrsto traps that ehop nda ni anc i of ese lhesmsvtee htis thsi dera. Eiv' my adn erasy; lytoms in soem eewr nseic srtfi erdvmipo sha otewr ceasghn a vlayst utb 2d2y-rao-el as msineem itsme worgth my clduiffti leif i lasmot eidnexreecp telret efvi. Ilfe cmea of otlasm etru paln h(w)ew! nyufn tuo lpya noe 'ist nda uodwl to ym it onne dna pecritdoisn ayw osteh atdnwe how tuo i httghuo. .

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