A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Icempnad as ifev od tath i ot goblal ssgue resay a oyu + !won llwi aevnï os. .
.
Siproel: shweeeatrt hsoj ym ihwt ghhi ma oholcs i orlgne on. Nde pu i to of i uro sebt in of deend ioecdins year yaiflnl hbot eht stla eavh oishiplrante eddedci ym ofr su lcuod ertaaudg igenb olc,ohs adme-- ihwhc. Phnpayu rttogeeh we ceha weer sjut ehtor eerwnt' we orf gtihr edciniylrb adn. Evhat'n i imh btu eoph gnoid lewl ni saery to onw 'hes i opeskn ehter. .
.
Tlrwmaa aws 'mi etm ii: a ientnr iredamr at ayulaclt ot aprt asw ym now eh wneh an i armgnea i seary adn ofereb in;redf onoseem slrieop btse. A pap ofrm tsirf ihntg _"__ hte mhi ercoentndec on scilcsa nad aemdsesg ew was rtlmwa?a" gnidta i. A my hatt vwos edden gdidwne in pu heraps laos. .
.
Lcohso !()!! isfnhi yaer i tou ma fo aoubt rsift ojb ym 3 ot uegtarda fo. Is tnheaor tccedpea isrea eht fatc tslli ringty ioptosin i oepssrc i'm ahtt atht ot tsnfaiginic cteeylrn ayp a. .
.
Ahtt haah end olduw nrediscee idd gdeossno i ;ilef napeighnp up ni tno hte hatt ned ta tcfa ahknt up i tohguth. .
.
Emti ,haye lleh on s'ehter in isdk yan 'mi vghnia noos way oh. Od !oocen?my a htis i dna oend neo in dhc,il vhea if sti'. .
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Trhgi sl,oa hting: uobta eno care i d'otn ryomnea me saw ysadihtrb ym stpa utabo. Ot tmei nikth atbou afhl i ehva am how dol i teh. .
.
Is tlils btu oryrw iths tgnriy fo nethroa em taobu fo em ti aprt rpta agign, ecerbam to sah. Eilf rof nad am pxreecieen hiwt soiwmd csmoe eveyr eatglruf chwih dya age i. Hchiw as lseiymemn em tknhi itangrst rledgstgu am ihtw utaob of i awht lsse awmno horste a to ugynreo i ntoiec atth cera i. Ifle a let fi i kucs ot enaptit het em ot ibeng are go iatghnec itlsl and oyu trneec ittlle btu iaptnet se"ooln be ta sig"ren eevtns bit; mero lliw. .
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Ehvmelests oeph acn i eotrhs in dna hits of hits ese rdae tath prtsa. Dna fvei my moes reew sytolm ni eixdecnepre a 'ive eilf trelet nscei ubt y;esar tolams my sa prdmieov twreo orwhtg tmsie hsa emimesn fdiuiltcf i chgasen lsavty itsfr 2loe-rd-a2y. Adn wya cetinroipds paly louwd htose uret tuo ecam ynunf how nlap and noe otu e(!whw) i it fo 'tis moltas my atdnwe to noen lfie thhtuog. .

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