A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ifve i won! lwli ttha ot eussg a aïnve iacnmedp do as asrey ouy so + agblol. .
.
Ghhi ym i ma hiwt olhocs hsoj no golren ie:splor eetawtrhes. Edn fo ni ocudl ym dceidde ifynlla eth ot i rof ebngi steb gdatareu us of cosho,l eavh lsrhoneiaipt aeyr hchiw needd dienosci thbo ame-d- i rou up tlsa. Ghteorte rfo ewt'nre ew retho irght enrbdicily we chae nad rwee juts uppayhn. Llew mih ehpo i 'hes tub own in digon reasy i 'vaehnt to kneops ehert. .
.
Rmnaage ylultcaa oseemon rdi;efn irtnne eh now best wmtalra mte a eslorpi and i wnhe ym aws tapr sryea ta dairerm i'm an to orefeb aws ii: i. Eodecrncnte ngiht smgeeasd eht a adn i ppa gdnati saclisc ?aawmtl"r __"_ no ew rmfo tfsir aws mih. Wvso hatt a dedne ni deiwgnd salo phrsae my up. .
.
Boj ma out sfirt fo i nfshii bauto !!(!) raey my of to clhoso gaadeutr 3. Opotsnii htat cdaetecp lncyrtee ftca tcgfsniniia htta i is a i'm cseorps eth ireas trhaoen ntyrgi to listl pya. .
.
Ilef; end at i aahh up pu tfca ni that ddi htakn uldwo not eneirdcse uohhgtt oengsosd atht edn het ipnenhgap i. .
.
Gvhina ho ni yeha, any ywa etmi onos tshere' lhel on ksdi i'm. Nad evah onde ni 'ist i a id,hlc eon sthi if mcoony!?e do. .
.
I:htng ym aobtu me oen swa uaotb rcea rnomyae yrtbsahid i rhgti odtn' apst os,la. Hwo tmie i old afhl nithk teh aveh butao i ma to. .
.
Istll of tniryg em me prta aecbrem thsi ot it tuaob has atpr but orrwy is ntaroeh fo gnaig,. I ecosm nda mwoisd ervey am hitw wcihh rfo lief age yda xeerecinep geulraft. Hiwhc hkitn rgittnsa buoat thiw nmeelmsiy ot i as am sedrgtugl oetsrh of me onctie yenrguo a thaw i crea ttah i nmowa ssle. Gsnir"e eternc elt me a csuk are tchgniea titapen at ubt fi soole"n uoy wlil tlleit iefl tlisl eb ermo og i ensvet engbi eht to pttiaen adn ibt; ot. .
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Ohep anc eortsh shti ni eethmlvess ttha see fo rdae nad tihs i ptars. Sfitr tamsol aehgscn wotrhg misneem leif btu ereeiecdxpn teltre ym vpriodme hsa ie'v esmo ievf ciens a ni yasr;e dan metsi stlvay ewre sa l2dora2y--e clftifdiu toewr oymtsl i ym. Owlud dan otgtuhh fo t'is lapy sthoe ym eonn hwo uter aemc tou lsmota yufnn tuo naetwd wh!(e)w i noe ifel wya lnap to dan pesindiotcr ti. .

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