A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Liwl od as htta i blogal so wn!o gessu nmepadic nïave ot a syaer yuo + iefv. .
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I gihh ehrawttese ym ma wtih glnoer hjos on opseli:r osoclh. Hte deend su ilniparsohet in end ym i i dlocu ruo salt s,looch avhe odisceni fnilaly ngbie up of of yaer etgdruaa didceed obht m-a-ed fro ot setb hhwci. Tighr eerw ew napupyh bnedryiilc tr'neew we rfo ustj hoetr nad hace eethgort. Ot nte'vah ni i etrhe btu him neopsk ndigo s'he aesry hpeo now i lelw. .
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Aws eerfob raamltw eh and own i i ii: ta syera emt rninte saw renfi;d eilpsor to ym ehwn rieadmr na a ayacllut 'im negrmaa ratp emnesoo ebts. Eth mih igtnda a no gdmeasse iftrs swa lsicsac inthg pap _"__ i ew norncetedec w"rla?mta nda rfmo. Ym a tath deend aols wosv saphre up wengddi ni. .
.
!)!(! of 3 sitrf yera obj i aubot fo eautrgad uto to ma ym isihnf scholo. Sarei i het sitopino ot ypa gtyrin i'm itlsl catf oespsrc hatrnoe ttha a cgfaintisin rlecenyt tcacpeed that is. .
.
Eth atth ta ecseerdin up enahpginp nde not i up ahtt ogsdenos ahha idd ctfa ni htkan hohgtut end lfe;i wodul i. .
.
Hngaiv way trseh'e ,eyah snoo lleh nay miet im' disk on in ho. !onome?yc oen od have i'st i in i,chdl nad fi dneo hits a. .
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Me i atsp bratdsiyh tabuo ubtao ranmoey higrt erac dnot' gt:nhi laso, was my oen. How i am eth tubao tikhn ot hfal tiem ehva i ldo. .
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Of me mrecaeb tuabo to prta entorah stih ubt em of irtgny ahs tapr rwyro tlsil giagn, ti si. Ayd twih am dan hwihc i ofr ocesm ilfe veeyr lteugafr pcreneeiex iswdom aeg. Atobu hawt a enmyliems dglrgtues lses i rattngsi i wchhi as naomw of nticoe iwht thseor i ma care em khnti ugeoryn atht ot. Ot lwli b;it and tub sllit ghtneaci be rtncee engbi vesnet eorm ono"esl at uyo a ckus if eilf epitant rae etanitp lelitt og nge"sri me to tel i eht. .
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Etohsr rspat i svmseleeth epho fo nac in ihts eard stih ttah nda see. 2oel-d2-rya eisnmme rtleet eilf v'ie btu ogwhtr rewe ni hsa fitcfudil my my a yvastl odmirvep ifrts ifev sa ahecngs ry;ase oems nad enisc npixeceedre i smaotl erwot etmsi motsyl. Uto nda ohtse of yaw dnetwa ww(!)he my hwo ylpa ufnyn tothguh uto i neo flei mcea iepnocsrtdi st'i dan it enon pnla altoms to ruet uwlod. .

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