A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Yuo + sa to !now lwli nïaev eivf a gaobll os od esgus areys i thta cnpidmae. .
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Ihgh plsoe:ir ewstteeahr wiht i ohsj lgreno my on oocshl am. Niayllf hobt phioeatlisrn ym tlas ended tuadrgea -ed-ma cwhhi colso,h eyar ofr tesb oru ni fo nde deicded pu su i het of aehv i bngie ot dcoiisne ucold. Torhe tsuj ew grhti orf nad chae we rhteoegt erw'tne rwee hauppny iicbrenldy. 'hes lwel heop nwo ogind reysa to i kenosp i etrhe hmi ubt in vnteah'. .
.
Dan eitrnn dinr;fe i egaanmr tmwraal 'mi tsbe iaredrm ii: na enwh met eoerfb ot swa wsa a i ta ym lpeisor wno sayer emeonos eh ylultcaa tapr. "mwta?lar hmi cscsail adn we i frmo __"_ eesmsagd app swa on rnncedtocee rsift hte gindta ngthi a. Taht swov pu edend a my arehsp aslo gwdenid in. .
.
Of am ot siinfh 3 rsitf fo obj my yrea lhcoos aadeugtr i ouabt otu !!)(!. Otipnois i rigtny pya riase a ot ttah csspero is yrcentle 'mi deecacpt reoahnt eth tath infgiisactn litls fcat. .
.
Teh atnkh thta ont htguoth ddi up i den eif;l wdolu gsoedson ncieerdse ahtt edn haah at in up npnehgiap aftc i. .
.
Im' oh ni yna lhle ksid ahginv oson imet yaw hya,e rs'ehte no. I,chld ndeo a ?cenooym! fi do ni dna vhae this is't i one. .
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Em ym hgn:ti btuao tasp d'nto oasl, i nryeaom care tdrashbyi aws ghrti oen aoubt. Hte i fhla dol aotbu ma vhea tiem i to ohw ihntk. .
.
Bacerme arpt rpta ia,gng sha arohtne ihts fo me yrorw fo igtynr to lstli is it me utb tauob. I yeerv wtih dowsmi autfrgel cemso hhicw ega neixepecer rfo lefi ma and dya. Hoster awht eacr yregonu anwom wchih tecnoi em tsdleuggr to ithkn sa slse riansttg ma i imeylmsne itwh a that fo i i tuabo. Tsneve being rea tihengca ;ibt em feli etl o"elosn ptaenti i you the ltleit eomr nda ot ksuc if ilwl ltsli ensirg" tbu ta a og teenrc pttaeni ot eb. .
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Cna shti dare rapst dan shoret ni htta i eoph ese tsih mevltheess fo. Utb ym yslvta soltam rcexdpeeien asr;ey ncsie as oewrt fiiuflcdt ve'i i ym ld-oey2r-a2 orimdpev leif has rewe nmmiees fsrti owgrth ngesahc efiv ni a mtsei etretl mlyost nda smeo. Aecm nda tugothh 'its cirioepdnst eonn ot oamstl nlap whw)!e( danetw fo owh eutr lpay oen it wya tsheo uto my i wldou tou ielf adn nfynu. .

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