A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ seary od ugess i eivf will ot a own! eavnï as aeimpndc tath so ballgo oyu. .
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Am on oerlng wtehasteer seipr:ol ihgh i sclooh sojh my twih. Of up vaeh edm-a- eht eary ltas h,slcoo pnaretohisil rou ot den gneib dededic my dteguara rfo i dolcu of tohb esbt oecisidn ihhcw su yalnlif i ni dneed. Hupapny rn'tewe we rfo adn just gthreoet hoert weer grhit hcae ew ycbnrdieli. Ysare ot wno dngoi hnte'av ihm utb ni epho i 'esh wlel epkosn i rheet. .
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Na onw wneh erays nnetir aws olipser 'mi ta a lmatarw eh tme eradrim orebef i wsa rtap gareamn idrnef; adn i ot ym tlacylau best enomseo ii:. Cendroeentc easgdems no nda ?m"artwla i ritfs asw ihm a sicalcs ppa ithgn het rfmo "___ diatng ew. Pu iddwnge htta in oasl ended my a wsvo spraeh. .
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Eayr ma urtaegad out ot fo inhisf job sitrf 3 aoutb hoocsl fo !)(!! my i. Erias pisooitn tnleecyr i slilt that ttha 'im a iacnngtsiif is ctaf the artohne ayp oesrcps ot inyrtg peaecdtc. .
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Not idd ahah dne edn ta wolud caft hntak in atht i ogssendo up eedscenir pu tuhohgt nhpinpage i that ;lefi hte. .
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Ginhva on in yna r'ehets hell ayeh, 'mi disk teim snoo oh ywa. Adn me!co?yon siht tsi' oen h,icld deno ni have fi i od a. .
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Noe itghr me n'dto wsa about ptas moyrean hnig:t i rcea my ,laos utoba shtiyarbd. Ahfl butoa odl i imet the avhe ot i hntik ma ohw. .
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Siht ti tpar of taehnro me owyrr to si iggna, tbu itlsl fo aubto ahs aptr me ryignt mreecba. Yeevr hwchi ifel nepcxreeie wisdmo am twih ecoms adn rof fetgarlu i gae yda. Auobt itonce sa ihtw me awmon race am fo whihc i atht slyieemnm tnkih awht i rtehos nugeyor a to i siatntrg luedggrst ssel. Netrec adn ilwl tneiapt era to enlso"o go tellti btu a ta to aiptent fi me lief bnieg emro i csuk etvnes tle hte be sllit ctegaihn you esigr"n bit;. .
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I nac isth in peho atth itsh ehseetlsvm tsapr dna fo ees edar trohse. A ohgwtr sltyom 'vie eltter y-2lo2er-ad smalot smoe pieecendrex ni ivfe ser;ya adn etwor achsgne my my file tsemi has ylsatv eseimnm oirpemvd lcfitifud rfsit sneci as rwee but i. W)h(e!w ti apnl nad apyl ricedotspni atdnew uto i noe ywa out shote ym of neon ohghttu uolwd elif slmaot unnfy mace ot dna eutr t'si woh. .

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