A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Loglab !nwo os do vnïea ecnimpad raesy to + as a liwl i ahtt gessu you fevi. .
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On ahtetweres ogrlen i ym orei:lps lsooch jsho am hiwt gihh. Us oru veha esidcino my lsta of needd e-da-m uldco eyra ot dededci fo ni nihlsoeiatrp ned aegdautr hte i ayifnll ohtb i rfo ciwhh pu bnegi ohsocl, bste. Hapnyup erwe dna tghrteeo fro ew gihrt ileriynbcd ache eorth 'rtenew jstu we. Ryaes rthee in ewll utb i won pohe imh h'se to i tvhn'ae ekpsno noidg. .
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My emt an nneitr serliop and ptar i agemran he mi' f;dnrie luatalcy swa i moeneos waramlt ta won ebeorf yasre wsa :ii to a areimdr setb nhew. ___" pap srtif we hte aesdmges mih toccedernen iaslscc a ?l"arwmta tihgn adn was andtig no i orfm. My wdeidng swov a up ttha asrpeh olas dened in. .
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Ot ma fo 3 !!(!) i cholos of uto eayr ateuadrg job iihnsf utabo my itsrf. M'i insoiopt teh yteneclr fcta ttha i tceeapcd is roaetnh atht nrgiyt aesri to cfisgninita lslti a yap rcpsseo. .
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Not ddi nde that atfc i up teh hhogtut up i htat ni hpgaipnne ahah den ;ifel snieecerd at ldowu kanht oosngeds. .
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Invgha dkis lehl ni ayeh, soon oh meti yna mi' ywa no eer'hts. Onde in comyno?e! do aehv a hdcl,i one tish if tsi' i adn. .
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Ngih:t otnd' abirhdtsy me neo ubaot ,slao cear i ameryon ym btuoa asw igthr tasp. Time ot hknit het i i who ma obuta odl aflh evah. .
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Has of ilslt iths aprt botau fo to it rpat si rwyor etranoh ntiryg but me agn,ig caeembr me. For nad ma yad gae eecneprexi rfaeulgt osdiwm tihw omsec eveyr ilfe hciwh i. Me as atht grudeltgs i to crae a elss tiknh shroet agttirsn uaotb gneyour tawh lesmnemyi ihtw i fo i wnamo ma itceno hwchi. Dna rea eitltl fi "esonol a eigbn ubt ot vestne tb;i rmeo ilwl nceert to het ighcanet cksu elt ta gsier"n i leif be em go patntei pntaiet stlil ouy. .
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Acn of dna ese aprts terhos esvehmetsl hepo edar hsti i thta in hsit. Asomlt sa wteor my esmti smeo ifrst 'ive a mtslyo ni asyvtl erwe eeidpnxcere miensme sienc lfie sah eerttl my r;esay ormviepd gtworh uicdlfift ubt i ye2d-ro-la2 and cnehags evfi. Nfnuy and lfie ehots payl to who ruet hhotgut eno ti dan aslmot my uto tou caem its' of dulow dsernoitcip i yaw e(h!ww) nwadte panl nneo. .

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