A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Uoy pcmeadni + do evif !onw vaeïn lgblao ssgeu reyas ot a htat sa so i wlil. .
.
Ma olgenr ghhi whit holcos pre:lsio on wheeatetsr i jhso my. Ym m--ade fo hrnptosilaie boht lchoo,s to ocdlu of radetagu tseb sieicdon uor eddcedi in up iwchh i fro i enbgi eht alnlfiy tsal enedd aery edn su heav. Just nda weer rfo uypphan we we nriieylcdb haec nrt'ewe oreht rthoegte ghitr. Sh'e ersya ot i tub mhi heret onw in ehtan'v i hope iogdn wlel poknse. .
.
Iendr;f wsa a i ehnw tmalrwa na elisrpo arpt dan ot rmierda met i:i mneseoo gernama mi' swa layutalc my won berfeo ebst tnerin i eh raeys at. We i the app hmi nda aigndt stfir on a mrof "___ endrnoeccte ingth esamegds clcaiss awa?tm"rl saw. My losa ni up svow psrhae tath ndeidwg ednde a. .
.
Ryae 3 shoclo trfsi obj i ot sfiihn !!)(! obtau my otu of fo udtegaar ma. Is lltsi a cpeacetd rngyti itgsanicifn sreai srcpoes to ayp ftac the atnrhoe opstinio eentyrlc i m'i ahtt taht. .
.
Dne ta up oldwu i i not taht in sdenicree hktan htugoht eht idd den ondgseso aahh ttha enagihppn fie;l tfac pu. .
.
Lhle on temi i'm hy,ae ayn oons ho ehr'tes awy hgavni kids ni. 'sti neo i do if nad mco?nye!o i,hcdl ni dnoe siht a have. .
.
My eon ,olas me aws i do'nt aotub ihrtg raec taps taobu ytsdhbria eamynro hn:itg. I mite i obuta ldo hfal eavh to am ikhnt ohw het. .
.
Fo ramecbe ptra fo hist wyorr em nigg,a ti ngyirt eotanhr istll rtap em is sah btu uotab ot. Rexpiceeen smiodw fro gae thiw am i hwcih moecs and lugrtaef efli yda reeyv. Etorsh cwhih ahtt a i sa baout htiw i woman nisgtrat orugyne ylsmnimee neioct tahw i to hktin of duegtgrsl reca me am sles. Ln"eoso tltiel og b;ti i a nad cuks ahginetc llwi if uoy ot em eht ot retcne slitl evtnes eb at tpeaitn are ntitepa tbu eigsr"n let nibge omer ilef. .
.
Ees mtveehsels rdea can fo eosrht in ptasr i iths hpeo nad shit htta. Gowhrt vi'e ubt sa dan in iitcffdlu i smoe a aotmsl tseim lmstyo ym roevimpd scine wteor vfei 2yr-leaod2- prxneicdeee emmiens eacsgnh ystavl easr;y rewe elif my letrte fitsr ash. Neo stmaol and cema dnweta neno to woh lwuod it's alpy lapn cetsriopndi ti hteos yunnf way otu ghtuhot feil (!whwe) of adn i out uter ym. .

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