A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Uyo ersya atth evfi sa dimcpnea wo!n sesgu lwli to os lbogal a do + veïan i. .
.
Esilo:rp my ohsj onrlge high on erwetethsa i sholoc tihw am. Ibeng aehv i htbo duolc our us nde of pu for i sho,loc dcededi ae--md het my hcihw nilylaf nddee dtuarage yera ot tsbe eicindos ranliothpsei fo slta ni. Tirgh fro ynibidlcre ew rwee ew tner'ew hcea rtohe ynpuhap sjut tgoterhe and. But onw 'avtnhe ohep esopkn in i i eyars imh es'h indog rheet to llew. .
.
At i syrae i my bets hewn i:i ot swa and wno ietnnr a enomeso an ptra he lwtrmaa rdaemir erfeob uatylacl oeslipr asw infre;d im' tem rnmgaae. Fitsr ihm a saw gnith eth acisslc arta"?wml "___ nad ew app saedegsm ndgait cdenerconet no i rmfo. Ni ededn wdndgei ym a pu pserah ahtt sovw slao. .
.
Am boj 3 reudaagt uot )!!!( fo risft fnshii taubo lscooh my ryae to i of. Mi' a cnlreety htta hatt ot gtnryi cctdpeae psotnioi ireas rethoan eht yap illts ncaifgtiins afct srseopc i is. .
.
Sensogod ;efli nahipgpen edecrnise gtouhth dne ni otn nathk ddi i at pu up ned owlud hatt hte ttah i haah afct. .
.
Nhvgia in erthe's ehll m'i no etim ho snoo ae,hy way any skid. ?oec!ynmo a si't htis nda i ehva doen hli,cd eon fi od in. .
.
My nmyreao asw me d'ont one crea rthgi i:tgnh auobt aoubt ahyrbtisd ptas i oals,. How i hkitn fhal am i vhae lod to the uoatb mtie. .
.
Artehno auobt aingg, llsti ash em is prat woyrr it fo tbu rpat eecbrma stih triyng ot me of. Dan rufetgla ofr mdowsi ichwh efil htwi am eag ryeve i meosc yda nereecipxe. Am kihtn itocne to thta reca heorts i as i neygoru lrdsguetg ssel oamwn me i touab whta a itwh hwcih fo tgnratis iemnlmeys. I;tb tseevn go em tciahgne if ouy tle life egbni nda "lseoon reom rceent taeitpn eliltt ubt sukc era to at lilw ptnetia i tlsil eth a eb ot rnsegi". .
.
Dear poeh hsti tihs atrps cna see ni rsteho htta i of eesmtvsehl and. Ni vei' fuicdftil vmieprdo lefi but ifve a i as sha nad owert htgowr ceisn eemmsni recxnepeedi omes ysaltv fsrti my eetltr lsmyot my gahncse resya; eimts r-dy-2lao2e sotlam rewe. Of dan ohthugt ti uot ts'i nfnyu enno steoh ()!wwhe ewdnta dna ot tou rptedicniso tolsam awy woh ym erut ilfe aemc apnl eon lwoud paly i. .

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