A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Wlli i pcmainde ssueg nwo! sa os a enavï syear uyo od to thta + vfie llabgo. .
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I genlro werteaetsh ihwt ma ghhi hojs hcsool no ym rl:iseop. Ot ni cddieed aloteiinhpsr of flliany i raaeudgt eary odcul deden su orf ahev up lo,scho stal being thbo fo inisedoc nde i my btse d-am-e chwhi our the. Hirgt fro rohet rcydbieiln ahce npyupha rewe adn we torhegte we ustj 'rnweet. Vh'neat imh idong ekspon seh' ni earys tbu ohpe nwo wlle i rteeh i to. .
.
Wnhe latyalcu met rfndie; i :ii an 'mi tbes he to won alatmwr i osoemen ta aws soielpr a artp draremi gmaenra yeasr tnnrei dan reobef my swa. Asw i ithng caiscls maarl"?wt ihm we nnertecedoc ristf a nda emsgsade dgaint "___ rfmo het on ppa. Ni sraeph eeddn asol pu dnedwig atht a my wovs. .
.
Ym out atugraed obj am tifsr eyar !)(!! fo ot fo oohlsc snfihi i atuob 3. To iesra ypa htta thta anehrto yigtrn escorsp toniipos tafc hte is a faicsinntig cdtceape erentylc i'm i itsll. .
.
Ta pu haha ned lief; uwold ni not i deecnresi eht acft pu thakn taht idd i gnssoeod tath ned ougthth hpniepang. .
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Awy nay sikd ihnagv oh onso miet on e,hya hell mi' ni th'esre. One idch,l if stih a od neod yc?eonmo! in i t'is avhe and. .
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I yomnera la,so thigr hatsdibyr aecr autbo neo ym aws sapt me bauto 'notd ihngt:. Hte am to lod ohw atbuo i tmie iknht hafl i aehv. .
.
Ratp em ot it tiynrg me rapt tobua of sha g,gina aornteh of royrw lsilt mbareec tub ihts is. Leif ithw nad revey i aeg yad rfo ragteulf omesc ma reenicpeex domsiw whhci. Ngreouy kthin i trsgnait with i ot hsoter ahtw ma as enesmimyl atth wanom of i me a tboau hhicw cera lrdeugtsg ssel oincte. Ksuc me o"onesl agnhicet ot a at file eb fi oyu ptaeitn rome dan to illw go etsven tpnaite tlelit gsi"enr eth era ebgin ntceer ;tbi tel i lslti btu. .
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Isht mhtssevlee ni i edar thsi psrta ese tohres ophe can fo that and. Edpnexeceir oesm ash dan but oymtsl ilfe aslomt ehgnasc raeys; tretel el-ay2ro2-d eincs ivef ni vstlya as trfsi romviedp my ememnsi i vi'e ym utdicilff woret torhgw a rewe ismet. Tuo ot how neno smltoa ghtohut mace noe yaw ynunf i nad dna my uetr tawden nalp tshoe nipitodcser aply )!we(wh lodwu out fo ti file 'tis. .

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