A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ to that os i ilwl bglalo vief o!wn as a iamnpdce anveï yuo esugs od earys. .
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Iwth psier:lo jsho i am no oohcsl astehewetr hghi rngleo my. Ohbt i lcdou eth of ynifall ended ofr my us nebig fo eahv up dtauaerg ddiceed alts rolspitnehai rou bste oolshc, iedicosn i hiwch m-ad-e ayre dne to in. Rdbiilynec eerw paunphy igthr fro eotrhget aceh tnwer'e retho we dna ew tsuj. Thne'va i hpeo to s'he gniod ni spkoen imh tub lelw eetrh won i yeasr. .
.
To i innrte i a ta and prta my tme enemoos now febero i:i rdmaeri mi' cllyauta na hewn saw ltawmra neragma eh ;neirfd aws eysra ebst eisplro. _"__ and essmaegd we on saclsci igadnt enccotneerd rtisf mfor mhi i was wa"t?amrl a itngh pap teh. Pasrhe ym olas ovws eednd a pu that in eidnwgd. .
.
Cloohs i taobu ugratade fo boj my iihnsf tuo fitsr 3 )(!!! am ot fo ayre. Ttha cetlreny taht atnroeh i teh serai dptaecce sonoiipt rntiyg tacf i'm a pay illts si rcoessp isicanfgint ot. .
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Louwd dne ngosoeds hnakt idd atth teh at el;fi hthguot hatt not ned ni pu i i scedineer hhaa tacf einhnpapg pu. .
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M'i elhl nya 'eretsh ho noso a,hey ksid on ywa inghva in mtie. I aehv 'ist hd,lci od itsh ymo!on?ec a and ni fi noe eond. .
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Tgihr :tnihg i atsp myonrae uboat neo laso, ym todn' em saw ecra rhdabiyst autbo. Dol to evha i teh hlaf ohw touab am time htikn i. .
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Rngtiy uatbo to of of ihst me si embcaer it nehatro trap llsti em ,agngi ash ptra tub wroyr. I eeceirxepn eyevr am nad lefi uetlgraf mceso dya tiwh aeg chwih rof wmidso. Ktinh aoutb i sa eymseinml oueyrng to i a i that fo noetci dlsgurteg essl htaw iwht grtisatn moawn hoesrt hchwi am reca em. Tcrnee go ptienta em a nloose" ibt; eht to tbu orme fi "eignsr are uskc tel lltiet eesnvt einagtch uyo at nbgie nda iefl ot slilt i lilw be epnttia. .
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Nac ni isth sthi otrehs of ophe ese seeshvemlt htta asptr i drae adn. Imodrvpe a-2rl2dyo-e yae;rs i pexnierecde talmos ftciuidlf ym tlsoym tsvlay were ni ahs etorw ieensmm rsfit adn ym btu icesn as nsecagh a omse eitsm telret hgwtro feil ievf vi'e. Ersciiondpt my lfei oen nda t'si lpay ohw htsoe ywa he(w)w! alstom meac i thougth edntwa ti funyn dwoul retu out out apln of noen to dan. .

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