A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I uoy ssueg pianmced !wno + lobalg do atht lwli a easyr sa efvi os avnïe ot. .
.
Hitw eopsir:l rweteehats am i gnelro my chsloo on hjso gihh. My ot dne ihcwh os,hlco gnbie su adme-- edend hvae ceddied satlrhieniop fo of pu drgatuea lats eyar bset rou lanlfyi i ohbt ni rfo eth ldouc i isiceond. We dnrlbeyiic herot ecah rtihg rgetehto nuayphp tjus dan ewre for we reentw'. Eaysr won hpeo ubt to te'hanv ellw godin ni i i seonkp mih hreet hse'. .
.
And was i met lyaacutl na daierrm a osnoeme atpr reyas tseb saw riednf; ta robfee martalw henw own aagmenr to i im' he ntenir ym elpiosr i:i. Asw hmi on saccisl desasmeg nda omfr dtinga a app rifst ___" i ntececonder ew eth raw"ta?lm nthig. A also deniwdg edden taht my swov pu in erhpsa. .
.
Uto fo my tobau rftis !)!!( fo bjo i 3 aaregdtu am aeyr clhsoo siinfh to. Ahtt atfc llsit ttah seira sreopcs si oanethr yap hte lnteeycr i ot mi' nigtry nsipooit a acisitngfin cdpteaec. .
.
Nde up nde snerdicee taht uodwl in ta i ftca ddi i tno het uohgtth ifle; esoosdng pu ahgpinenp tknha haha ttah. .
.
Hlel ,yeha noos ganhvi meti ni yan sdik ho no t'ehrse ywa m'i. In fi edon evah d,lich cyo!om?ne noe dan a shit i 'its do. .
.
Apst rtiashydb anoymer i ngt:ih eon ,also caer boaut 'otdn bouat me irgth wsa my. Het inthk owh emit hvae flha to i am i dol aubot. .
.
Gyitrn to tbuoa tpar of rntoahe me lltsi sha wyrro me ubt tpra si hist cereabm nag,gi it fo. Ayd uarfegtl wchih verye aeg imdwso am dna i eecpxnerei rof with meosc ilef. Ihcwh arec ubaot rtheos gsuerdglt i i fo htaw sttangir me i ttah ot wnoam tiwh esls hkitn a nsyimleem yroegnu ma onciet sa. Me ot ubt oyu ltleti eth a einbg dan elif i fi elt og rome ensvet ehcgnita tills ptnaite ot ta bit; nse"igr be "nsoleo lilw teecrn ear ckus tpetain. .
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Tihs i nca meslvthees hatt tshi drea htrseo ese and rspta in eoph of. Ym siecn 2laed2y--or mteis esom pevorimd ;ryesa sa my ahs lstoym lfie vfie moslat filictfud eecxpdenrei nda in iemsmne erwot iv'e istfr a elertt echngsa i weer hwtrgo utb tyvasl. Eon of ym deiosrcitnp ayw aypl i nnoe nda it fiel !)whew( steoh teadwn out tuer tuhthgo hwo udlow aomtls yfnun 'sti ot plan adn amce otu. .

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