A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ndeaipcm sa allogb ssgue do atth avenï !now uoy ot eifv os esray + a lwil i. .
.
Hsoj :priesol ohscol goreln ym etwaestehr ihhg ithw ma i no. Hte i orf i my of stla ylfnlai fo dniiseco giebn up dne rou bhot cedddie os,lcoh us aehv nddee in ot aery -ma-ed urtgedaa dcoul siartoenplih wchhi esbt. We orf pnphuya utjs nrlicidbey ahce hreot twer'en eohtregt nad htrgi we ewer. Sh'e i onw opeh teehr i nigod imh tub lwle noskep ot asyer hneat'v ni. .
.
Ta irdearm a eh i'm aalcluty adn i henw meoones swa arsey ii: ot pseroil wno nrnite ym na i laamrtw asw ndfre;i refebo nemgaar tseb trpa etm. Swa nad ilsaccs hte mih inthg i a"am?wtrl on sgmsadee ppa a frist dntagi nctcenredoe _"__ rmfo we. Oals hrpsae wvos a ngwdeid ym pu ni eednd that. .
.
My grautade to fo nifish 3 frtis cohlos fo otu ma utaob i reay obj )!(!!. Iears ptsonoii ayp si ttah rncyleet nhotera i i'm thta tcpaceed ot acft eth tllis nacfisiingt a esrpcos nytrgi. .
.
Otn ttha teh nathk tohgtuh nisdrecee idd up tafc at nde ineagnpph haha ulodw i pu hatt in nde i fl;ei gsonedso. .
.
Ni snoo sdki oh on ayn 'esethr aeyh, tmie 'mi yaw lhle nhgavi. Fi oen ni od i a haev adn isth 'tis ilhc,d odne mneyo?!oc. .
.
Eno od'tn ym aoynemr oals, rcae em botau asw thrgi darithsby abotu satp i tn:gih. To aubto knhit dol eth i iemt fhal ohw i ahev am. .
.
Em yrrow isht is arpt ebaemcr it ,ngagi istll fo tub me ash rtpa enraoht oatub ot fo igrnyt. Erixpeecne esocm adn thiw hwihc i dya lefi ufgaetlr ofr ervey womsdi gae am. Gnreyou htta caer obtau tnihk hosrte ma a dgsreugtl thwa thwi ratsgtni slse to i nioetc ihwhc nyimlesem oawnm of as i me i. Adn eigns"r tetnipa igbne let ot leo"nso you go eb erom i are lliw utb fi a to me ibt; suck ittell at ilfe agnehtic lltis het netesv tnpetia rtceen. .
.
I dan in ehpo itsh ttah tsih reohst fo eeshmlevts see rtpsa aerd acn. Imest efli v'ie smoe necis idoevmrp wree sha nad i sa alstyv mtosyl fevi ecdienpexer or-y-2dlea2 rhwotg icutiffdl chesgna a my utb eimmesn rweot rsa;ey ltrete saltom ni tirsf my. Ntdaew noe rctideopnsi wya ot uot ym how dna (!wwe)h out of unfny reut paln onne it asmlto ypal hoste ldwou i ti's maec otughth elfi dan. .

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