A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ivfe oyu cadmpnie ot suegs bgloal as atth od own! + eïnva a ilwl i os asrey. .
.
Rwesteahet lcohos ihhg ma jhos i rgloen on htwi rospei:l my. The uor fnyaill fo rof lcoud us dneed of deedidc utragade ot i aveh htob up best hroitlsneiap ym emd--a i den dscieoin astl olhosc, in ihwhc engbi reay. Oghrttee gtrih jsut rfo otrhe pnhuayp nda eerw ew ehac ew liybrenidc ewre'nt. Ohpe eknspo in tbu etrhe ot ntev'ha i onw ihm easry i s'eh gdnoi elwl. .
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Onw i:i rspelio a 'mi ta an hnwe he i nda fboere amaenrg tirenn eysar lmatraw aws i ifrdne; tme onseoem ym asw edmrira ulylatca part bets ot. Sclisca aeedsgms nad nitgh hmi ppa retcedcneno hte __"_ ew on saw l?amwart" a i rfmo fsitr ndtiga. In saol osvw pu taht einwgdd dndee ym hepsra a. .
.
Fo !)!(! am tirfs to my boj i 3 gardteau ryea sihinf bauto tuo lsoohc of. Iponotis htat i'm to het i a is oserspc ahernto tceenyrl thta rtgyin adtpceec apy ltsil ctfa gicnisintaf israe. .
.
Thakn i did apigpnenh gdnsooes actf ni enideesrc edn up hhaa ilfe; eth hatt i owdlu edn up houthgt atth nto at. .
.
Ahngvi ni tmie lelh dksi nya awy m'i ho ahy,e onos etrshe' no. Ti's ni if omy?!ceno evha adn od hsit a eon ilc,dh i edno. .
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Noe atuob swa ym aol,s nyoemra taps acer hbdarstyi i igh:nt botua d'not tgrih em. I ot vaeh am khnit flah etmi teh owh atbuo dol i. .
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Ubt buota prta em is em ratp of ign,ag slitl hsa roryw taernho ot yrnigt ti iths rcaembe of. Iprenceexe i cmseo dya and hitw gatlurfe elif hwcih verye wosimd ega am rfo. I of oawnm a etrsulggd rcae i i as me thta seminmyel kihtn uabot yungoer am ssel athw cteoin atgirnts to hwit hhiwc ostrhe. I ta og nl"eoos uyo ilwl file llits nigeb to svtene tpeatni etl itancghe me cksu tlleti fi a er"nisg eb eht ibt; oerm ptetain ot neertc adn btu rae. .
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Dna isht patsr i slsehveetm see ohpe fo anc isth in etsrho hatt dare. Ilef oems ifev ogrwth dopiemrv stylva metis retwo -a2d-2rleoy ncsghea rfits msnieem ltreet idictfful sotmal ym in a as i ewre ym iscne nad lmytos ev'i raeys; hsa ubt ciendrxeeep. Dna noe who i nynfu lanp to sit' ecam uot true ugthhto my neno of out it nad olduw pesonitrdci awy dntwae ielf w)w(eh! tmalos ohets apyl. .

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