A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Asrey oyu wlil glblao eivf nempacdi a do gseus as ot avneï os ahtt i !nwo +. .
.
Lgoern i ma on :eorsipl my sjoh ihgh aheestetrw ooshcl twih. Ot fo ned loduc aornlietshpi doeiicns orf ebngi i ae--md sebt ddcedie edrataug fo ni aveh teh ym us hwihc rou ilnyfla i arey lats hotb cslooh, up dnede. Ndyebclrii adn we ew rteho rewn'te chea fro grotteeh stuj weer yphaunp gtirh. Nwo at'ehnv utb eoph reysa to ewll ni i i eerth giodn e'sh noksep mih. .
.
Nad tpra :ii ebst aargmen mi' a saw nemoose eysar wamltra bofeer won met adrimer saw eh to my wnhe at rnietn irslpoe dnie;fr i i ltlucyaa an. Crntcedneoe gnhti app saw eegssadm slcacsi a fisrt _"__ on indtag eht mih nad we form i ?wratmal". Svow giddnew in a neded ym esrhpa atth salo up. .
.
Otu ot niihfs my boj tisrf 3 shlcoo ma eagtrdua tbuao of i of reay )!!(!. Tdeacepc i'm sillt i gnicifinast ayp is a hatreno to rsaie ctfa eht ginytr ooinstpi ocpessr htta lecrntye ahtt. .
.
Nhtka iescrnede i at haah htat tgothhu did up edn in aftc elif; eth ipnheanpg not ttah end pu wodlu i eoogndss. .
.
Sthere' y,eah no oh iskd eitm ni vgaihn way yna nsoo hlel i'm. If ihts edno adn dhic,l a in neo its' oem!n?coy i od aehv. .
.
Itg:hn eon lao,s wsa tgrhi otaub ryeamon ariydbsth em ym i t'nod astp uotab erca. Lfah nktih i ohw i veha eimt odl uabot ma ot teh. .
.
Em is tslil ryorw ceebrma iths trigny tarp of orehant but to ubato me anigg, it of ash tarp. Oidmsw i raetlufg ilef vreye ma scmoe and aeg itwh cixpnereee ady chhiw for. Nkhti whta a drsleugtg i lses of crea am sa ot neitco roengyu i rshtoe nriattgs mesimnely em i thta tuoab iwchh ihtw nmowa. Itnpaet tub be sg"rien cneter i etnvse hte ouy tnaiecgh t;bi rae uksc tieltl a netatpi ot ot go etl rmeo ta ltsil if nad wlil eilf me iegbn o"lones. .
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Mstvlhseee ehop stih htsi stpra can ared rstohe i hatt fo see ni nda. Vi'e a tsime tub moes sa i ielf tvsyal and ahs tlmosa wtgohr tufldiifc msmeine alye-d2or2- mtysol in nisce dpemirvo wrteo etrelt ym ievf ;esary rewe neidreecexp ym fistr gcasnhe. Neno owh sti' uyfnn ntdewa awy soamtl payl uldwo dan out uhtgtho ti and nlpa eilf shoet one i to my of otu cnpiriodste eutr w!h)(we cmae. .

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