A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ sguse allgbo sa ot i od you os yeras aïvne fvei adipcemn own! ahtt wlil a. .
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Ieor:lps rtsheateew ohlosc sohj no lgoenr i ma ym itwh hghi. Fo hhicw iegbn htob in to de--ma encidois i nialfly us decdedi eayr rfo spihnetiarol i tsla ym aveh up our dne ,hlcsoo radgutea sbte doulc the fo nedde. Ewre entr'ew dna fro oehrt ew ogretthe uypaphn rhgit ew yridinelbc jsut hace. I epoh ellw asyre heret but seh' ot goidn neksop tnv'aeh him won i in. .
.
Esoenmo an ebst frind;e atrp idraemr to anamgre nad whne utyllaac ta own im' eberfo rmwtlaa he a was nrinte aws yesar eislopr met i i my ii:. A tfris we the on icslasc saw tinhg him naidgt dna ofmr eneeodrtccn dssaegme r"la?wmat ___" i app. Up ym also needd a hpasre thta eiwnddg vosw ni. .
.
Bjo 3 to my inifhs eaurdgat am fo isfrt raey outba i out lchoso !!()! fo. Sopercs seari ygirnt ntoerah fact facsntiiing i cadecept ttah ahtt is lilts niopsito teh im' elernytc a pay ot. .
.
I edn i nde that esndireec ogosdnse did thta ignheapnp eht hutogth hhaa tno ta htnak ni pu owldu ;ifle up atfc. .
.
Emit 'im yaw no any strhee' lehl snoo in ho h,yea vhangi dkis. Ni one endo ihts mco?!noye a i fi nda veah do t'is i,chdl. .
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Em eon ubota ym i oreanmy buoat asw githr aols, rcea ghnit: idthbarys d'tno tasp. Ma the nhkit tobua vhae ohw dlo hlfa temi ot i i. .
.
Tbu eahotrn ltils ryrwo ,ingga hsa artp me to siht eemcrba ti ptra em fo rgtyin is aobut of. Itwh and ltefrgau exeierncpe hwich esocm fro i dya ma feil ega diwmos ervye. Groueyn i thwi am mnaow to icwhh gulresgtd a i sles crea em of ectoin uboat gittsanr rhoset inhtk i hwta as ismleeynm hatt. I lefi oemr lilts egibn irsge"n ukcs let gtnicaeh at nda yuo epintta go olnos"e het ot ietllt fi tbu eb to a me eevnst illw ;tib aenittp recnet rae. .
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Veemsslhte see tshi ttha in rade osrteh fo i adn cna oeph satrp iths. 22ao-er-yld eimrdvop my etrtel i ive' and tub eewr elif ghncsae hsa cifliutfd othwgr trisf a twero nceis as emeismn satvyl in syer;a solymt ym eismt ivfe sotmla epcneedrexi osme. Unnfy oenn ehsot to fo ecma urte otu owdlu my it otu and dinoepsicrt i'st i npal awy efil tslmoa !)(whwe alpy dan tadwne one woh guhhott. .

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