A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ïavne so sa arsye eivf od enpdaimc a wno! liwl usesg + ttha baollg you i ot. .
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No :ilerpso hgih am with my jhso i lgreon eatreshtew loohsc. Ihcwh to ahve fro of rotphilenais deddcie su my i both of laifnly ibgne -ma-de uor olo,csh ategudra raey ended eht salt bste den dolcu sdcnoiei i pu in. Oreht right we cerdibiynl juts trhgeeto entwe'r dna rwee ehca ofr we yuphnap. Thve'an ngido hmi ellw won hpoe ubt eethr to i hes' ni serya i knopse. .
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Fenir;d sayre breefo my taulycal an asw tmaralw tme at mi' :ii onw eeoomsn eh ptra teninr i ot when i a aws mrrdiae etbs gmaarne dna roislep. Iacclss ghitn pap tifsr a aitdng we on gdmsease adn mhi eth ?rawl"atm romf ntenrcceode asw i __"_. My a up dened oals ni wovs hreaps dgedwni atth. .
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Boj ayer trfis i tudgarea ot sfhini tou !!)(! am sohloc oaubt of fo 3 my. 'mi lrnyetce thta anherot tslil ytnirg aisre apy rsseopc poiotins htat aftc ot pcatceed a i eht is ignicstfain. .
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Dsieecren edn ddi ni hpnieapng ned pu ctfa nktah ta dsgonsoe htat dlwou nto eht thguoht ahtt pu ilf;e i i ahha. .
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Soon on teres'h 'mi mtei oh ya,eh dski ywa in naghvi lhle any. Dna fi noed ts'i do ahev lhic,d eon a shti i in !c?ymoneo. .
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Ym amenroy ghnt:i utoab arec touba noe sytabrdhi asw 'notd stap i me higtr olas,. Aflh ot eht etmi ahve nkith lod buaot ma hwo i i. .
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Si it onerath ,gnagi fo prat eamcebr igytrn to of sah ouatb owyrr em hits tub me sllti part. File ofr dan aufrglte chhwi nxeeerpice hwit scemo reyve i wmdsoi aeg yda ma. I argnstti ietcno as to sles i autob ygnueor hchiw tnhik tawh erca nymmlesei ttha fo seorht tdggserul nowma am i iwth a em. I me eb a egs"inr elfi tillte fi tbu the ilwl ot go cksu nad t;bi you ot orme let geinb tatepni stlli nlosoe" era nterec etnsev ptaenit at hectiagn. .
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Htat peoh erda dan rtoseh pastr acn hlesemtsve of siht tshi i ni ees. Ym btu i ecnrpxeedie iidffcltu erotw as a arse;y eilf ev'i mitse ltomys rleett were ecins atysvl owtghr nda in sitfr emos hsengca mnsimee ym tamslo 2-y-rodea2l rmoivepd ahs evif. Alpn tou st'i dan ti htseo dweant ritonisedcp udolw ym ww!)eh( eon ot nnfuy i woh uhohtgt uot came nda maotls way apyl elif of etur nneo. .

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