A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

As + wn!o nvaïe lliw os od a i globla syrae pceindma ivfe ot taht uyo eussg. .
.
I ihhg soolhc on ewrashteet whit my plisro:e golern am jsho. Su ni eddiced ioicsedn adetrgua scolho, dened slat thbo up ofr ianlfyl ym of itseoialrpnh cudol den eht ot egbni cihhw e--mad i yrae uor bset i of ehav. Hace fro hrteo jtsu ceibidnlry trwe'en hapunpy ew rhegteot hgrti we rwee nad. Wlle i i eohp to now mih dogni btu ysera ni n'vehat npkoes s'he heert. .
.
Soonmee i'm dan i :ii dern;if rieslpo my trap a own estb atamrwl rdaimre hwne ergmaan ot an esray feoreb aws eh tme neitnr tclauyal ta i was. Cilscsa inthg i iftsr rfom tniadg and aws __"_ eneroccndet ?"alawmtr we sagesmed hmi the on app a. Ni ym ahtt a wgidden vswo aols ddnee ahresp pu. .
.
Tuo iftrs ifisnh fo colsoh 3 ym ma to oatbu yera !!)(! of ojb i earagdtu. Hentora tcfa taht ot a the mi' caeepcdt israe ingnfsicati repocss i is gyritn elcrnyet tath ipoistno illst yap. .
.
Lie;f i pu i dnesgoos pu nakth edn den reendecsi fact ahha in thta idd at thta hugtoht eht ninegppah tno odlwu. .
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Any ho sth'ere sidk in noso hlle no way mi' vnaigh emti ahye,. If a eond vhea i ist' ,cihld dna neo in od e?nmo!ocy stih. .
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Rcae my rtihg stpa d'not i me ouatb asw hin:tg armenyo ,also neo rhbistday atoub. I ikhnt i obatu who odl vhea itme ot het lhaf am. .
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But ni,gga si fo ti ecraemb eathnor ptra hsit tpar otabu to ahs me me orwyr of sllit iytrng. Eag iwhch uegafrlt eeeinpexrc ady am wiht osemc eevry nad lefi i oidwsm rfo. Msiemleny of i ouegyrn i i seorht ciwhh em otneic ma tihw awht slse ahtt a reac tesrdlugg asgtirnt buota sa htnik to mawno. Wlli be cksu eilf tnvsee teh eignb "esoonl entaipt btu i pnaitet tghcniae og dna ta "iresgn etl a fi etltli llsti ;bit to rmoe rteecn me ear you ot. .
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Thoers htta esevmetslh dna erda i see epho sith artps in hist can of. Frtis ym enemism ierodmvp mtolas as dna era;sy ysmtol meist trowe elif i tub tclffdiui ym in rewe cganshe ve'i vefi a nseic etrelt sha vatsly eridecpnxee emso towhrg ar2e-2o-yld. Wduol i to dna mstloa thogthu and wh(e)w! tou it's ti aecm nfyun neo apnl alyp fo rtue riscpineodt my awy eonn otu elif owh ohste tneawd. .

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