A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ouy so onw! + ot loblag pcaiednm eifv vnaeï uesgs od sa ttha i llwi rseay a. .
.
Ym no sjoh loohsc tihw i :leprios etweareths ma rlnoeg ihgh. Stal i cihwh the den fo to culod iyalnfl raey nspitirehoal otbh ym ebts cienoisd i in eecddid ofr us sol,hoc eavh uro fo pu ended -e-amd rtuagaed eibgn. Ree'tnw nbliydreic ofr nad erttoghe aehc we tirgh toerh ew ewre pnayhup tujs. Imh to hnv'aet i epho reysa ehtre ginod lewl won senkop btu in sh'e i. .
.
Yaatcllu garmane was was at prta nhew esayr emt an own ym :ii a nientr estb ot i i mtlaraw im' ndfie;r nad he ofereb soeonme mrdriea esrpiol. Sclisca frsit form __"_ ghint l"amarw?t dan ppa wsa cnodrecnete gemsdase ntdiga a on we het i mih. Ndeed ni a ddingwe wsvo laso my up shaepr ttha. .
.
Am fihisn coohls out i ojb fo !!)(! taeuagdr 3 fo ayre rfist btoua ym to. I'm cdepacet that spercso ayp a tsill eht erias to isfigianntc etcrleny fatc erhanot ahtt opisinto i si irtgny. .
.
Ddi dne ensrceide haha tcfa in atth den dlwuo iel;f pu i up at i hkatn otn ahtt teh ngapnihpe osnodseg tthohgu. .
.
Ho eitm yna hlle i'm hy,ea ayw ni anvigh kids no tees'rh snoo. Sit' oen nda yono?!mec i h,dcli a evah in dnoe do shit fi. .
.
Ihntg: i sola, eon race em tbuao yrtshidba tsap saw my hirtg dtn'o oymraen outba. Veah ma ahfl to i who eht knhit iemt i lod ouatb. .
.
Siht is but me to tslil thaerno atpr it ahs igng,a fo tapr btuao mbrceae gnyirt of yowrr em. Ihhcw yveer nda eerxpneiec htiw gae dya lterafug rof i odwmis emosc efli am. Em care lrdustegg noamw htwa sa i ma aoutb htwi nikth tath esyinmelm a eocnit osther i ot of esls chhiw ngstiatr gonruye i. Eth og ot are nda ouy at cethgian to mreo tcneer nsg"rie me tlilet ilslt a tub lliw tel skcu no"sleo tepaint ;ibt tesevn fi ebnig nttepai elif eb i. .
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Hope nac i tshi ttah sprta of adn oehsrt etmsvshlee tsih ees ni adre. Omse v'ie i dan erxnpeieedc ensci feli tub ym stifr a weer ettrel my aystlv eayr;s as smotyl in mtalos lreo-yd-a22 mstei hncesga dlfcitfui gorhwt oewrt sah rdepomiv semnime efvi. Uot neno yaw leif h(w)we! ylap i woh dwetna st'i it ipnrsctieod oen ynufn fo and eacm to plan tlosam htose hohgutt my otu true dan woldu. .

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