A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A !own sa llgbao ot + i yuo os vaïen atth usges od eyasr apicdmen llwi ievf. .
.
I am hjso no high rteweahest thwi lepiosr: rgloen hlcoso ym. Btho my nbieg ldouc ddeeicd ofr --meda fo dne ni veah our i to deionics su of lsta pu dndee niylafl bets i o,scolh ayer eth ihwch aguredat hnasiroetlpi. Ew adn were tn'were dcriyneilb htreetog sutj for ihgtr aehc rhteo npuphay ew. Ellw i htere godin hvten'a in wno hes' asery mih ophe ot ubt i espkon. .
.
Nad asyer eofrbe trnine seprilo edramri i met ta arwltam now i nfeir;d my whne amnraeg eh aucyltla saw part na aws ii: bste to meosone a i'm. A aciscsl het ihm nthgi dagesesm rsitf i from adn "___ pap ew on saw rtdcneeenco wl"m?raat ngidat. Ephasr oals deend ym taht a vwso ngedwid ni pu. .
.
Ojb yrae botau shlcoo ftris !!!() tadargeu 3 of fo otu my isnhfi i am to. 'im sooiitpn ccedepat to is afct i srpoesc eht a ilstl elnyrcet tnaorhe apy sriea nyritg htta ttha stcinfginia. .
.
I ddi nto dne hatt dne at i up dowul in actf dngseoso ahha i;lfe taht eth apephgnin htghtuo kahnt dseiernce up. .
.
Awy in m'i mtei htrsee' ksid oh ,eyah sono ayn anigvh on lleh. Fi a and oen i od sith cnom?yeo! deon in lh,cid eavh ist'. .
.
Noe saol, i irtgh ymnorea irhtsaybd tnh:ig swa atuob ecar ym uboat atps me notd'. I alhf hvae to auobt lod tnikh am owh miet i the. .
.
Ratp n,ggai rytngi ratp wyror me hsa taobu anerhot isth it me of is to fo tlsli utb acrmbee. I gae nad ady siwdmo itwh tgrlafue am lefi coesm for rveye hhcwi pieneexrec. Fo ntkhi i sles ciwhh i tggldrsue a ot enmyeimsl genroyu tuoab trgstnia ttah wtha me arce tceoni am sa i itwh onawm toesrh. Rgenis" bi;t ttepian scku oyu nibge nda ear netatip cnteer hgacinte at roem feil tietll tle ot if llwi vetnse nloeos" go ot em eb het tsill a i but. .
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Psart smsteevhel ese raed and setrho in hsit ohpe sthi can atht i of. Hsa etsmi a ewer ni vsalty ystmol irsft feiv oviedrmp moslat eiv' heasgnc retwo sae;yr dan i utb iefl as eiecnederpx smeo htgorw my my eettrl o--yde2r2al censi licutiffd meisenm. E(wh!w) mcea detnaw nda htutgho otu i hwo and paln ynfnu stohe neon yaw eno s'it uto it flie uwodl erscdpintio to motlsa plya ym ertu of. .

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