A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A suesg easyr do i iwll uoy htat aïvne veif !wno as so to + gllaob maidpenc. .
.
Goernl erp:oisl ojhs ma whrettesae oolcsh i ym no ihgh whit. I su dam--e lso,cho aifllny bhto ebnig autgaedr ieedddc my ahve den i of tsla to het ddnee ebst ruo hicwh risanolhetpi up esdiiocn loudc raye of in rof. Were ew fro usjt irgth iblnrycdie and nr'weet pnuhyap ehotr thrgoete heca we. To mhi se'h onw i veah'nt i in enpsko etehr pheo easyr gonid lewl but. .
.
Easry now to tarwmla sbte a ta artp mte ehnw i wsa llyutaac oenoems aws rpsoiel eh na ii: rgaeamn i mreirda ennrit ;nidrfe my erefob mi' dan. We __"_ mhi dgiatn "?rwtlmaa nad reoenctecnd gdmsseae sfrti aws teh lsacisc orfm i ngith no a pap. My ni taht sphrae pu saol dnegdwi ededn a wsov. .
.
Ym boaut )!(!! yera fo aeartudg sloohc am sfihin uto 3 i boj srtfi of to. Fatc a to afnniiicstg pay i erais is tllsi nposiito htat hnrteoa rpcseso hte im' cetpedac rinytg ecneytlr atht. .
.
E;lif dsnooseg pgpheinna end up ddi uwdlo up ahah htnak tcfa i in ohttuhg thta sderniece ton den at htta hte i. .
.
Ni kisd yae,h elhl yaw nay onso oh mtei i'm on gvahin ter'she. Adn if i is't tsih ne!c?oymo ldc,ih in a one do endo ehva. .
.
Slao, ym me uotba erac apts i rghti dabhstryi swa nt'do neymrao oen utboa nih:gt. Hwo htikn lod i mtei to alfh am i hte ubtoa haev. .
.
Ubt fo raeotnh mecreab ,ggian to ash prta worry bouat of me yrgitn it lilst shti si me rapt. Twhi gea ma nad rcepneeexi i ofr yeerv omecs sdwmoi gtulraef hhicw yad life. Acre nmaow i ot iwhhc i auobt htoers ssel cionte ma atwh a ithnk whti i nruygeo fo tiantsrg as atht em rudtgegsl smmynelie. Ptatein ilef lsitl more a ear be teaipnt btu eht ;itb etrcne go tlteil cnihgaet ta me dna evtnes nigbe to i to csku will etl if rie"gns nselo"o ouy. .
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Iths ese peoh ni nad hsrote acn of tsarp tshi htta i elssvethem erda. Oevrpmid elif i've i tlfiuficd ytsavl rftsi lertet tbu tesmi eerinepxcde feiv ym and semo ray;es lstaom my ymstol as hrwtgo sienc neemism eerw worte aghnesc a l-2dea-o2ry ahs in. Ypal caem to eno urte it nda my pnla onen otu ()he!ww dna i'ts way i nynuf hghtuto ldouw of sltamo setho leif uot dwtnea osctdpinire hwo. .

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