A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Aimecndp usseg ivef glolba w!on ot so lliw rseya you aïenv atth i + a sa do. .
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High sohocl tthsraweee am ym hjos i no lenogr hiwt iepro:ls. Pu i ltsa e-a-dm in su of hsl,coo uocdl my rtgaeuda yrae ebgin uor hobt fianyll sniodcie vhea i eth nde ot ended ophrleitsani eddcedi ichhw sbte rfo fo. Ehca geotrhet and for trghi eetwn'r diilnrecby we puhanpy erwe utjs we terho. Avtn'eh now utb ayesr ot teerh i hepo i ewll in ehs' mhi onidg nkoesp. .
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Eramird i nderf;i riepols part nehw eintnr to at m'i eh ym lclatauy mesoneo saw nda a ii: na wsa yarse emt etbs won atwmlra i gnraema bfreoe. We saw sirft ?lartwm"a _"__ asgesdem and i assclic etccnednore him tagidn ighnt no a ppa mrof hte. Laso rpseha pu atht dngidwe eednd in sowv ym a. .
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Of bjo of i out ym 3 aotbu osochl ot arye isfrt nfsihi !)!!( raetagdu ma. Fcat i si yclntere arise trygni llsit a tdpceeca inptoosi im' hte ypa rntohae cseopsr to thta ahtt iciatfgnnsi. .
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Aiephnnpg end odulw up ielf; knhta i het end i hhaa ddi afct ton pu gthouht atth drceensei onsdegso ta ni hatt. .
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Skdi yna m'i esher't iemt ni on iagnvh llhe oh yaw eah,y oons. Eon fi on!?ceomy do in i dneo nda a vhae idlch, is't this. .
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Th:gni tabuo aws itrgh me rcea stpa dbhiratsy naryoem touba i los,a 'dnot eno my. I nitkh old ot btuoa hwo hfal i heav mtie am teh. .
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Ing,ag tills of ecmrbae prat to btaou nytrgi ahs is nraetoh em artp yrwor em sith it fo btu. Fro and mcose ipeerneexc ma iefl whhci day i evrye age thwi mdwsoi agfurelt. Arsgintt race sles itwh i ma ieeymnsml edglgrsut to hatt yreognu as mwaon eshtro a em of cwhih wath i i itkhn tbuoa tnoice. Og teinpat if geibn lwli be tllsi eetncr are i the ot tnaptei t;bi entsve o"elons skuc etl ngsr"ie me at a emor to utb ielf oyu tlelti cgthenai nad. .
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Nca eehlesvmst in ese ihts dan hsti etsroh that i rdea prtas fo pheo. Ielf meeimns dna i sy;era ym reetlt stvlay a -2ya-2odelr ve'i ecsin sritf neepixdeecr gsnchae mtlaos tub ni imvroepd rwee ym ltomys tludcffii as hsa semti tweor howrgt emos feiv. Wya dan hwo i tou tuo sit' it uhhtogt my true to nad awdent aypl nlap of istoinceprd ww!(eh) file udwlo meac ynunf atoslm one nneo esoht. .

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