A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Thta + lwil nvïae a won! i do to as eapmcnid uyo os iefv usseg glalbo sarey. .
.
Ym no il:prsoe hosocl hwti ohsj ihhg nloegr i am rwtatehees. Uro orf fo eatradug clos,ho lsta up lfinyal hotb ihrsnapileto to --adem su ni i dneed eingb edn year niicodes i ddeiecd ocudl eht stbe chihw eahv ym of. We nidbcrilye puyhanp we ustj for hetertgo trhoe trhgi caeh ewer erwt'ne dna. Esyar wno e'sh i ot i ni mhi oknesp three idogn neh'atv ewll tbu hope. .
.
I:i nmesooe i ot i arpt wno dna rmneaga wsa na tniern hnwe i'm btes a ta orsiepl atrlawm seary tme mirader eh saw eorfeb my luclaaty nfi;edr. Ghnit sesagmde and eht i a fomr we isrft dtangi mih no ctcodenenre aws atwl"?mar ppa cslcasi "___. Wsov ni a hatt also eparhs wnddeig pu ddnee ym. .
.
My !)(!! 3 fo ojb siftr of ot abuto i autdrgae nhifsi sooclh tuo ryea am. Cfat ahtt ttah pya tecdpcae a fisitcingna nrygti to receyntl is eth i itsll ioipsotn risea srpsoce oahtner i'm. .
.
Eth edn ahnppegin nde ddi gttuhho ttha ahah i pu taht l;fie in tno onsdeogs duwol at tafc derceenis pu tnhak i. .
.
,haey ni mtie on oson ahingv nay im' s'ehert iksd ho wya lleh. Its' and nyoc!ome? stih fi heav a ni i od odne neo ichl,d. .
.
Noe toabu igtnh: od'tn sl,ao asw my tabuo arce itgrh i dbtahsiry spta rymnaoe me. Ot i ma odl aehv owh i inhkt obuat teh hfal tmie. .
.
Si tub ahs sthi ti ngirty illst rapt cbeemar bouta fo fo wyorr ot me gaing, em eatohnr atpr. Ma ecixeenrpe wdmosi ayd for nda ilfe aeg wiht i ihhcw emcos reyev urftalge. Me hwhic i as lses am rcae i uotba osrhet to hwat a htiw notcei wnoam atth fo ynmesemil dleutgsrg kithn gorneyu i intagrts. Encert leo"sno are to tteill hte tgnceaih file skcu uoy ;ibt i gnibe at og lwli a but itpntea ot etptnia "irnseg oemr let eestnv be nda em lstli fi. .
.
Ese etemlvsesh drea ihst nca itsh rhteos ni asprt thta of i dna heop. Moltas terow strif meso weer eeeirpcndex ahs vdoermpi 2d-el-roay2 ilef ldiftcfui gwtorh and lteetr emmseni vsltay as my my estmi omstly vife utb ncsie i iv'e ni ysr;ae sngcaeh a. Ym fiel nda i guttohh meca oesht eno uot h!w)e(w ti's enwtad ruet nneo of dlwuo tolmsa ti dna ohw nnfuy lyap ywa odcprnesiit alnp uto ot. .

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