A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ ahtt do so bollag llwi you to eyars naïve n!ow essgu efvi i sa a aipdecmn. .
.
Ym ihwt ongerl hsoj seahrteetw i cshloo high no ma :eiposrl. Edden inegb locdu het rou eoscdnii i of ned bset hhwic in hvea nlfliya ym -ed-ma cso,lho raueatgd to rfo i of yrae up satl su tsphrloiaine dedceid obth. Ohrte ghitr nda we ridyencibl ogtrhtee just we ppynuha nee'wrt rfo weer hcae. Idogn in rhtee i lewl i but own ae'vhtn mih e'sh epho ot yreas spkoen. .
.
I moeneos eh tme an wsa syrae adn stbe rdf;nei nwhe efbore my lcuaylat m'i rlpeosi ptra rdeimra at asw ratwlam rnitne angarme a :ii own ot i. Dececroetnn rma"tw?al a gandti _"__ we teh mhi adn istrf i ppa lcisacs asw mdeagess omrf itgnh on. Swov wneidgd atth lsoa in ym a pu sahepr ndede. .
.
I fo !!()! to sfitr of osohlc raye snhiif out my atagrdue 3 oatbu am boj. Si pya ctadpece taht siera rlyecetn gnyirt a to nicfaitisgn i hte slilt otiinsop taht fact tarnheo ocsspre m'i. .
.
Wdoul otn end aftc enossodg in did ttha anthk epgahnnip eecrsendi pu den aahh i hghtout pu hte ife;l ta i tath. .
.
Lhel snoo ighvan iskd htsere' yan eayh, oh mi' in meti yaw no. Ynooec!m? cil,dh i eahv ni do hist eodn nad ist' fi a eno. .
.
Otbau loa,s saw eyomrna i:htgn i tirhg eon hdbystair ptas ym arec me tbuao dont'. Het lfha old i btaou meti i haev itkhn how to am. .
.
Tbaou me rtpa ronthea nrgiyt me si fo reaebmc aptr gng,ia it wyrro of tihs ot tub has tslil. Am dna day fro twhi i ega domswi fgaerult eocsm eyevr efli neexcreeip hhciw. Ma yeogrnu i a wtih hicwh cionet sa rsutlgdeg i that ikhnt care hoerts of mnwao grittnas tobau nsleimeym i ahtw em less to. Eht ot ti;b e"gnisr go nepiatt uyo me illw elt i ucks eb emor are nretec "oneslo tub at tseevn tcagnehi eipantt egnib a teiltl eifl to dna if isllt. .
.
Ni i erad nac atth tmlhvseese oetrsh strap dna ese this isht of hepo. Orgthw ei'v stlmao eisnc i rd-alo2e2y- ftrsi otewr vriedmpo emsmein a emso tub stmei saecgnh in ielf mstyol rse;ya iiflfucdt my weer pndeerciexe vife ym eltter dna as ash ytlavs. Apln of adn udwlo ot lpya wya and neon wh()ew! treu i amce tou how ym twaden 'sti otu it ilfe idrenispcot uynfn htghtuo eon sloatm ohtse. .

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