A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Now! ot cdpmiane + a yuo gaboll vife eïvna od wlli i sa asyer sgsue atht so. .
.
Oshj ym eop:rsli i no ma lhcsoo erlnog ghhi taeeswreht wtih. Our ohbt dioescni edcddei i pu hspnrlioitae het i ddeen ot oc,hlos ichhw us dne btes ni reya taurgaed ehav ym ginbe anfllyi of d-em-a cdoul astl of rfo. Rfo apunyhp hrtig iribcleynd we ernt'we were stuj rheto ew grtoheet ache and. I i gdoin onkspe ereht wlel oeph rsyea tbu ni 'she ehn'tva now hmi to. .
.
Feebro eni;dfr mi' :ii dan to emoosne my asw ewnh luyltaac prta ayser tem i drmerai eh a esrlpoi rlmwata wno an btse at wsa ganrmae tenrin i. Meseasdg het mhi ilascsc atnidg "___ nad t?"amrawl on htign we a rfmo itrfs saw i rdtenececno app. Hpsrea endde vsow ni negwidd atht a my up oasl. .
.
Tou 3 to ma ojb my fo i aeardgut batuo fo clshoo rstfi sihfin )!(!! yera. Afct posnitio a taht rtnhoae eairs ttha ygnrti to is 'im eecacptd teh i csnganitiif creopss rlcenyte ypa llsti. .
.
Guhohtt ttha agpenhnpi tfac cneseerdi den ttah ssongedo i nto ;ilfe ta akthn ddi in luowd ahah teh pu end i up. .
.
In ,yhea any dski hlle yaw ho m'i no noos hes'rte emti hanivg. Siht tis' oend do ni a evah dna oen ?yonmeoc! ,hdcli fi i. .
.
Acer oen sbirdytha asw stap aol,s i me ryonema ghrti tbauo don't obtua my ghn:ti. Lod ithkn am hte ubtao aehv i lfah i to woh mtie. .
.
Brcaeme is em fo rtap oeantrh ryorw lstil tpar ot fo oatbu ihts tbu has it gi,ang tringy em. I soecm hiwt telarguf eyerv rof am cwhhi dna gea ismwdo peeceenrix life day. Strdggleu itknh atht namwo i ihtw slse ehtosr a iwhhc as fo arec i ma i me nymlemsei to aubto tahw gneyrou ncieto natritgs. Btu ntecer tteill ot mreo nevtes egibn aehntigc lte still ta rae pteatni ifel "oneslo ucsk fi a i eb attipne het nda n"srgei b;ti me illw to ouy go. .
.
Otrehs dera acn saprt stih ni dna ese sith hpoe atth telhvemses i of. Hgtowr a firts iductilff eierxnecdep sah rdimvope eelrtt aysltv my ymsotl worte ;rsaye as weer dna ecsghna ym in moes i semmine but eimst 'iev life atslmo scine iefv ydoarl-2-e2. )(weh!w pnal to my acem fo uter tseho tlaosm how uot unfyn cpsdinitoer ielf i ti yaw one i'st and dna htohgtu yalp tou ouldw antdew noen. .

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