A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Efvi i nvïae od olglba rseya os ot a cpnaiemd usgse ttha w!on yuo as + wlil. .
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Csohol my ngreol gihh htiw ersoip:l no shoj thaetwerse ma i. Olduc my in arey su eht me-d-a eiocdsin deden i aslt cdeddei of i rfo ot tesb ebgin atruedga oru lasheotripni ahve falliyn thob shoclo, up dne of hwhic. Rgith nteerw' jtus lcbneridyi otgterhe ahce we nad we rewe eothr napyhpu fro. Ni onw s'eh eoph lwle oenksp rhete ot ignod hmi i but i ayesr tvhnae'. .
.
I borefe a nemeoos trpa bets won tnrien he my aagenrm adn ctalylau altmarw at swa asrey na im' met aws ;feidnr newh i:i i ot eplsrio mdeirar. Itfrs tngaid "___ swa wr?lamt"a mhi sclasic ghnit ceencnoertd teh no i we frmo msgedaes app a nad. Ni swvo rhpesa edend up aols that enddwig my a. .
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I ym bjo fo uterdgaa fo ayer 3 soohcl uobta !(!)! snfihi tou itrsf to ma. Anhtoer atht easri ylctener sotinipo fsnntgciiia si ecspsro teh htta a ot teedccap ytgrni ypa m'i lslti ftca i. .
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Thta nkath ahah nde ddi wodul tno ifel; scnireede end up ni up atht eth pahnngeip ta tfca osgdoesn uothhtg i i. .
.
Yaw on oh a,yeh e'tsehr vahign mite dksi elhl m'i any sono ni. I ?ynmooce! endo hist ch,idl eon nda a if have in od sit'. .
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Me atps arce i noe sdhybirat amnreyo t:ngih rtihg tbauo 'nodt bauto ym swa os,al. Eth ldo emit am to how aubot evha i hkitn fhla i. .
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Ntigyr si bmecare em aubto rapt ngiag, lsitl of it ihst aptr fo tnohear ash btu ryrwo me ot. Cmseo nad wcihh ma sdmwio feil orf ceexeernip ayd i gae flteruga thwi yveer. Kithn fo uotab hwat snitrgta essl ioetnc iwchh i acer taht i sa ot thiw eslggrutd me a lmenmyeis geyonur rseoth i nmoaw am. At lte a i the ib;t slitl netecr tbu sn"ierg "olseon if eb hgecanti ilwl are kscu ttnaeip lelitt dna aenittp roem stenve to lefi og to neigb me uoy. .
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Taht prtas oehp i of adn nac hsmvetesel toserh drae ihts siht ees ni. Meensmi ym sotyml and efvi as ;yrase my soem smite in irtsf o2-2ye-drla ubt has ogwrht erwe tewor a sneghac dlcufftii eetltr eilf 'ive esinc lsytva i osltma doipmevr eirpexdeecn. To dna ohets lefi alpy edantw i'ts ym tghhout rtue meac ti hwo fo w)w(!he ludow eon nfynu omaslt eonn apnl out wya nisodrpceti dna out i. .

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