A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ sa ot od you os taht eivf llwi bllgoa neaïv i ecidmpan a gusse sreay onw!. .
.
On ym sloohc hsoj gorenl ihhg :olrspie twtehreaes i ma twih. Guadtare eht thbo to ni i ulodc uro up censoidi i oc,lohs dicedde ededn rof llnaify ym den eary ichwh nbeig mad-e- su fo fo slta vhae nalrtpioesih stbe. Newrt'e ehca ew tujs uhpnyap rfo nad reoth dnyrceiilb thirg otgehert eerw we. I ni btu eoph own v'ahnet oignd to serya kpsone mih ereht i wlel 'hse. .
.
Ysrae i neoemos i ta :ii to he saw iefdn;r mernaga tpra met aws ardrmei 'im steb rawmlta rpoleis a nentir ym adn na aulaytcl reefob nhwe won. Tfsri pap acsiscl trcnednceoe nad a "l?tawram from asw the i no edseagms nitgh __"_ ditgna hmi ew. Dnegwdi ttah eddne aeprsh ym up in swov a lsoa. .
.
Ojb fo abotu ()!!! tuo ym i ryae ifrst loohcs ot fo ugatdrea 3 snifhi am. Tinagciinfs mi' psroecs cetcpaed pya ttah tncleery gntyir is rnathoe atht a i tcfa to serai sltil hte intisopo. .
.
I dne htat in het up haah not nahngiepp pu atth ;elif did hatkn i wulod actf den at sedrecnei desgoosn hgtthou. .
.
Soon mi' awy ni ivghan lelh tmei eestr'h ah,ey sidk nya ho on. I'ts i heav tish oen fi ni oden adn a do ld,hci coyon!?em. .
.
Ryahbdtis pats ,olsa baotu gih:nt eyraonm my i on'dt asw em ihgrt noe rcae oatbu. Meit the ldo kntih am vaeh aobtu alfh i to ohw i. .
.
Me nhaeort is it g,naig rygnti to has tubao tub bmeecar iths fo atrp fo aprt royrw em tllsi. Am ihwt yad msdoiw nda verye lfie rfo iexepecern chwhi gea i omesc agerltfu. Orhtes i twhi ubota ma tcenio i intatsrg nmwao hawt as arec wichh lsse rlgeugdst oegruny me of i a inkht tath mseenlmyi ot. If tel btu oyu nsevte no"osel eb patietn eht llwi ners"gi and i bgein tellti ta iltsl ;bit ot tencre og tnipaet to remo cgethain em a scku are file. .
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Phoe in tlsveesemh arde dna taht acn i shit troesh rspta thsi of see. Smtie rsift ;areys fltcdufii fvie terwo ad22lyo-e-r erlett moytsl emnmesi a wghotr tsolam i sah my iecperxndee ilef were imporevd btu ym sncie esom in as 'iev dan vatsyl eghsnca. It's amce !)(wwhe of it pyal i ayw ture tou plan noe to adn olwdu who my out nroeiisdctp tohse neon wedant ifel adn tlsoam ttouhgh fynnu. .

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