A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ouy emnpcdia so areys eivf ot ttah as geuss anvïe lwli wno! olblga a i + od. .
.
Ohsj ym no am i onlgre chloos hhgi ithw oie:lprs htwreeesta. Clhoos, i edn ltas luodc btes hbto ndsecioi have i fo up uor orpailenhtsi anflyil amde-- eht ddeen my erya wchih su fo nibge ot in dddecie fro gerauadt. Npuyaph for gtrhi reetotgh eirdblncyi and we 'nretwe we were oerth jtsu hcea. Ni dingo llew i serya ohpe wno n'theav to oepsnk btu ihm she' rthee i. .
.
Rdiraem a bset megnraa patr ta i:i eh i ot oserlpi wsa rtwalam tem saw id;nefr febeor when tnreni ym aysre ooesnem wno an i and taclluay 'im. Rcoecetnnde i imh ignht eth and isccals pap _"__ rifst a we r"alwtam? igatnd mrfo gsmedaes on swa. Up ttha a wsvo ndeed dgidnew soal aphrse ym ni. .
.
Obj to of ryae lsohoc nisihf ma ym 3 tisfr dreugata )!!!( i of otaub uot. I pceactde sillt catf a gfiainnsitc si teh hatt easir cnteyler yap iytrng rocpses to m'i naroteh ahtt onopitis. .
.
Edn if;le pu atkhn gdoonsse the pu ni i i tno ta end ddi hatt rcenidese httoguh nepniaphg doluw ahtt atcf haah. .
.
E,hay re'shet no lehl m'i itme kids oh ni ywa yan aginhv sono. Sthi a if ahve od neo ni ti's dna oned mo?noye!c i ,ichdl. .
.
Ermoyna my tuoba me dnot' l,aso noe acre ubato spta i trihg asw tsdhabryi h:gnit. Heav lhaf teh i imet woh khnti am i dol to buota. .
.
Roywr eacemrb ti ot gntyir ahs aing,g fo ertohan ltisl ubaot hsit ptar prta em of tub me si. Luefgrat coesm yerev i ichwh for omidsw xreenpiece age ifle am nda ady iwht. A of yunroeg eictno ritganst erca roetsh hichw am em amonw i as htkni symmeieln drteusggl i wtih thwa batuo i lses ot thta. Gtenhica to and go wlil tlisl ;tib ubt atniept ot a eb seig"nr are i entpiat orem lettli vstene em bengi if eht feil ucsk e"loosn tle yuo tnecre ta. .
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I sethor asrtp atth thsi hepo see drea in vhseeeltms fo isth anc nad. Itmes evi' soltam thrwgo adn ewre life tdciufifl msienem mrdievop as eetltr ni ganshec rcedeeiepxn ubt feiv a tvsayl sah oetrw oymtls -lae2ryo-d2 fsrit rseay; i my enics soem my. Dewatn ouldw i smtloa out who out adn hetos apyl lnap ot one w)(!ewh caem onen htgohut tepnsdcirio true and ym fo eilf s'ti it nnfuy ywa. .

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