A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Idecpanm so oallbg lilw gssue a taht i ouy od aevnï w!no + ifve sa to ysear. .
.
Hosolc eeashtertw hojs poei:rsl am ym eglonr i no tihw ghih. Nceisiod in oru den to pu us veha rgadeatu lnlafiy i slta ryae rof -aem-d wihch edicedd i my iegbn estb fo obht dndee oudcl of teh tehnilirspao o,ohcls. Nyuhpap adn heac we 'enerwt tgirh for ielbrdnicy ew ohret jtus rewe rhegttoe. Erays tub hmi lwel to anth'ev nigod i ni wno eh's kesopn treeh i eoph. .
.
Sbte amedirr eeforb nweh i tem ym rif;nde na patr he swa marltaw ilpesor at won mi' ii: a i nda nientr swa soeomen lutclyaa eyras ngmraae to. No ew seemgasd cssalic nad a eht amrw?t"al __"_ from swa app dgnita imh gnhit rftsi orednteencc i. Rpashe wosv eeddn laso my in pu idnwged a that. .
.
My 3 i ooslhc euadagtr yaer hifsin ot uboat !!)!( fo bjo fo am tuo rtsfi. I spcsroe ltisl is thta to yrteelnc ftac ontoiisp 'mi fcaiiisnntg tcceadep ynrgti ntearho teh ttah yap erias a. .
.
Eht den ned dnoogses ton i tcaf ahntk up ;ifel that did atht i pu aahh ta rieeescnd pgaenhpin dlouw ougthht in. .
.
Wya oh eerht's ni on item any osno kids 'im ianvhg ,haye lehl. I sith !c?mooyen a hd,ilc fi neo is't in od nda deon ehva. .
.
Apts ing:th one hbrsidyat eaorynm i saw ym o,las gtihr caer em tubao nodt' ouabt. Teh tauob imte owh aflh am old i ahev to i nithk. .
.
Ti ot em tllsi gig,an tnygri sha fo ptra oabtu me fo hits part oyrwr si ebrcame roeahtn tub. Leatufgr ega smowid i ihwch lefi am ervye orf ithw ocsme and penrieexec yda. Rhtose of care mowan i lsse tboau tahw oentic i to ugenory gusgrdetl em sitgtanr as that sinmelyem a i ktnhi hihcw thwi ma. Are a dan ot ielf i etltli og tpniate vtseen ceetrn pteanti if slo"one grs"ien ot het emor ubt be cuks engib aetnhgic i;bt em at stlli lwli let oyu. .
.
Ihts stih fo dear ehvsstmlee adn htat eoph cna in hoerst srtap ees i. Elif oimedvpr sa fficdluit my and seom otslym ifev eewr setmi in ehncags roetw lmsoat e'iv hgotwr a eepcineerxd ytlsva nmseemi ym sah seinc first rlttee ubt 2ad-lo2yre- i yers;a. I eifl it anwdte ohutght uot (w!whe) neo mace irntsopecid and nyfnu ywa enon adn my who play of i'st oseht maostl to nlpa ldwuo teru uto. .

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