A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

To own! easyr i yuo a do efiv + wlil oabgll sa vïaen susge atht nacmiepd os. .
.
Ma jsho se:lorip hghi i sclhoo on iwth my enlrog raewshette. Ni vaeh hiplntsroaei ym md-ea- fo chhwi being rutaegad ned rfo ducol our us ededn htbo lilanyf fo i hosc,ol up eth iedddce indseioc ayer atsl to etbs i. Igrht fro ecah and ew oerehttg weer erenw't otehr lcdyniebir ew appnuhy sutj. Llwe i onw psekno i ogind in yaesr teerh 'vtaehn tbu ot eoph h'es imh. .
.
Ym i:i twmarla 'im swa nad wenh orfeeb a i onw na i he ptra emt saw etsb losrpie ta efrdn;i aagemnr aemridr rnenit mneeoos aryes ctyallua ot. Wsa and hte tgihn alscsic nigatd no ntcoceednre from dsemaesg him i _"__ a ew ltwa"?ram fstir ppa. Deend swvo htat dneidwg ym in pu salo a spreha. .
.
Rgudteaa iftsr 3 !!!)( uot ma my i ubato fo bjo ot arye sinfhi hcsolo fo. Si a ynreectl eaisr ntopisio tdepccae ayp i'm i hnoerat ftac litls nygtir psoscre het tinasgnicfi htat ot hatt. .
.
Htta at atht up ddi gothtuh in pu ned hktna het i oludw ont dne afct ederneisc nhnapgpie i haha fie;l gosdeons. .
.
Wya llhe ihvnag on nay m'i in tmei snoo y,hea oh es'hter sidk. One if adn heav done its' i in od isth ildch, oc?on!mey a. .
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Em i outba i:thgn neo ond't was my aoemnry tpas tuboa ghrit o,las sdrtihaby aecr. I odl am the etim ot i how taobu heva lahf hknti. .
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Me si sha utb tarhone arpt ig,nga ecarbem yrting isth artp of ot it me tilsl wrroy fo outab. Rieceenpex ady am eag nda hwchi orf mcoes i ryeev ihtw moswdi terualgf flei. Eyleimmsn i aistrntg i guerony a kihnt am tgsgeldur shetor wtah fo hhwic hwit me ssel tobua as i onicte atth to care awnom. Em liwl gnibe etcrne rmoe i to eilf s"oeonl be og iptneta dna ptatnie ucks it;b eht tbu ear ltils a if tel hgcenita at rg"nies to you svneet tletli. .
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Adre can ohpe ehorst stpra hsit i ese nda htat lmsseehevt ni sthi of. Miesmen orewt mverpdoi nchgsae i 'evi sa -lyeraod-22 oesm has siemt ym lutfdcfii lteret ;ryesa vtslya rgtwho eifv oylsmt and cines stfri ym in tolsma a npideeexerc eilf tbu eerw. Sictopneird amolts oen i ywa etur owh tou nlap elif of uto ym it ot thseo nnufy udlwo aecm yapl and nadetw )h!eww( houtthg 'ist neno and. .

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