A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Anveï lilw !own i + a sa gsues ttha ivef olalgb oyu ot so andpemic raeys od. .
.
Hihg ym i sjoh am aeerwsteth hwti logrne on ocslho s:pilore. Ruaetdga i teh in up i yare for boht to -dma-e locud ieiconds nde iedddce stla fo uro iwchh us tbse gnibe hsoc,ol eednd nlyailf fo my veha hetpaiorlisn. Nad oghrette were rehto ew rfo hace tgihr sutj et'wern we pynphua iiebrlycnd. Tbu ayers heert igodn won nesokp i tn'aevh esh' ohpe lwle imh to i in. .
.
Best opilesr nda to was a oeenmos lwmrata wno ii: he ta refebo wsa i 'mi an met ngaemar i serya claulyta frind;e nwhe eiarrmd tapr my ennrti. Thign no "___ aeedsmsg intadg adn eecercdtnon teh swa imh morf pap a we mwtaa?r"l i ritsf alisscc. In my gdienwd svwo a htat pu aols saerph edned. .
.
Shcool ojb tou sifhin i 3 !(!!) tuaob ot raey fo tadaerug ym ma fo sftir. I tafc ctaepedc oinsptoi a irgynt raeis htat retnhoa im' tyeclrne pay ot illst agifsntiicn htat pesoscr is eht. .
.
Pu uhtgoht i ftca ddi nde htta ahha den ta i ankht egosodns dwolu ttha ni sernecdie ;lfei hpepnnagi the up otn. .
.
No vnigha sidk awy ni oh soon yh,ae hlel m'i tsreeh' teim yan. Tsi' a in i em!n?coyo edno do if one tihs hvae ,dichl dan. .
.
Em hgnti: apts acre maeyonr idbasytrh noe tn'od l,aos my was autbo i tbaou hrtig. I uaobt woh nithk eth old ma falh to i heva time. .
.
Rtap ecearmb ggain, me si em ot of ryowr llits rapt sthi igynrt oatbu fo it btu ratohne sah. Am coems doimws i iwhhc reevy dna lftuareg hwit gea ayd lfie rfo pneeeecrix. Twha am a ttah ogyuner em i toaub twih i rttasnig otsehr ineoct emlyneism to lses i of nwaom ihhwc elgrustdg knith sa rcea. At tle kcus i fiel nttiepa liwl rome ot fi gnbie era tletli me go isllt a eb svteen ;tib ercetn thiacgne the dan ot "eolson btu intatpe you "rgneis. .
.
I stapr fo aedr ees dan sthi tsih atht evstlmeesh ehpo in rsteoh anc. Msoe -lreoda2y-2 mtolys sa but icens tldfiicfu alstom in hsa rftsi stmei i vife dan etertl eivpmrdo simmene eicrepedenx orwght a eilf erew torew 'iev taslvy egnhsca ym ym ayrs;e. And ti uhtghot ym dna douwl enno toshe its' aoltsm amec way hwo tuo rtue eno ynnuf lpan uto lief sreipctdnio i to taenwd !)he(ww aylp of. .

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