A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ lliw you suegs sa gbolla ot naeïv a do caenpimd ttah rasey vefi so i !now. .
.
Hojs noelrg i ighh e:pirsol ym hatetewser no soholc twhi ma. I evah eicdedd ltas den lehraosipint genib htbo dnede md-ea- fo to us oinecsid ym lucod locos,h fo eyar ruo ni i up wihch aueadrgt eth rfo esbt fanlyli. Tgrteohe ppuhayn for jstu we rw'eten ibdcyelirn hotre trgih aceh eewr and ew. Ni ot i llew i now ayrse theer vahtne' hoep oidng tbu mhi onkspe he's. .
.
Gmaaner :ii soprlei i ulayactl a at eseomon an irnnte oebfre asw waltarm ptra mi' yesra rif;den onw sbet he imeradr tme i ot was dna wneh ym. Ppa nthgi omrf swa srtif on a mesdgesa dnigta asliscc mhi __"_ hte i tednoecenrc we nad "mwlaa?tr. Pu a nedde wvso aosl ym repsha htat ni ddgewin. .
.
Yrea bjo !!)(! olchos of trisf 3 of ma i ruaatged ot fnishi atobu ym uto. Apy iascintignf tonaher rtgiyn thta teh acptcede tisll a im' tfca ot onioipst ersospc is hatt eairs tneelcyr i. .
.
Nde fcta in up hte eaghpnipn fei;l pu htnka gtohhtu idd i den at osnsgeod thta wloud otn atht i haah ecenersid. .
.
Ye,ah no onso oh m'i 'eshtre etim ayn ellh ni kisd wya higvan. Ni is't icd,hl fi en?o!yocm od oen dna ihts ndoe a i ahve. .
.
Higtr tshdyirab toaub spta was my em ayoemnr eacr :itgnh nto'd auobt noe i as,lo. Owh tmie ma iktnh i veah aflh i ot odl btoau teh. .
.
Fo me oerhnta tills ash tobau shit of iyrtng wyrro me igagn, si ti prat ercbame tbu ot tpar. Mocse ienpecrexe lftuaegr ihtw mdiows rof ichwh vyeer efli eag ma day i nad. Taubo ot cnioet wtih acre twah oersht i tgasntri sa a thikn of egyruon i eiymmlesn sgerlgdtu i iwhch em omanw thta ma sels. Me en"loos rae ctnere to i suck tanpiet esrgin" to ;tbi eibgn eb lfie a lstli and utb at tiltel oyu etl ittnape aechgnit etvnse og eth more fi lliw. .
.
Htsi ohpe ees i cna ershot atth tish and ethmlsseev aerd tsarp ni of. I avslty tiesm eewr veif efil in smotal sa tfirs ituidfflc smloty vpeormdi ym has retelt reotw ym eahncgs tgrhwo r-yealo2-d2 ecnis re;say a eoms tub smmenie and e'iv prxeeeednic. Ts'i to nfynu hhotgtu rpsiidcoetn npal eosht adn wtndae oen adn my lapy nneo yaw of how ecam amslot otu tou oulwd i w(hew)! ti uter elif. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments