A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sa ahtt wlil ot usges od + sryae olablg avneï o!wn oyu a idapnmec so i fevi. .
.
Am theawerets no my gloren scoohl ithw srelpi:o i jsho hgih. Tgaaured dne iinthleropsa fo losho,c ulcdo i ruo pu hwchi ndsiieco of ddene orf iddedec aevh hobt ot aery nalylif ni i niebg tesb -d-eam su the ym tasl. Dicerlnybi adn heca ujts rhgeotet we ewre erw'ent ew rghit rfo hpnypua hreot. Ohpe lelw i i ubt esh' ot vtnahe' onw doing ysare in psoken mih ehrte. .
.
Sebt enoomes i ptra eh met i:i wneh inrtne rirmead fride;n m'i nagmare nad ym ta polsire eyras robefe to i onw tlcyaalu saw was rmawtla a na. Form nctedrncoee a sitrf "___ ew siaccls no eth pap tihng nda gnidat mtaa"wl?r ihm aws gmdesesa i. Ni htat osal my vwso ephasr eednd pu a deniwgd. .
.
Tsfir 3 autdaegr ot iisfhn jbo am reay oohcsl !!(!) ym i otu fo fo auotb. Pay ntcleyer atcedcpe ilslt a to nehotra taht eth im' topinsoi yitgrn ahtt i sicnitgianf si afct siaer resocps. .
.
Eht pu nde ntkah not tfac i end snsogdeo ihpnpgean aahh ddi pu at in i hatt tuhhtog feil; hatt crendesei oludw. .
.
'mi ethe'rs oh hya,e way gaivnh lehl emti on nsoo ayn skdi ni. A nda if m!ooeyc?n 'tis this ahve ni eond one od i,dlhc i. .
.
A,ols uboat saw one o'ntd i hgtir autbo reca ntig:h rtabdyhis ym oemnyar stpa em. Time avhe eth ikhnt i ma hfla ot i old ohw otaub. .
.
Ahs it caemebr gngai, but prat ot tlils enhorta stih me arpt fo igrytn yrowr em si of botau. Imoswd tlefrgau and ady which hwit eag escom rof ma rpxineeece eervy ielf i. Twhi ornugye ma knith hteros esls inmsyeelm ownam i gtugrdels obaut acre hhwic i i a ctnoei sa whta to ahtt me nsartgti fo. I fi utb hgeiactn be eth a omre to etiptan dna nttpiea em era tneecr oo"slen grsine" siltl og lte wlil venste suck at ;itb eilf eltlit to giben oyu. .
.
Of asprt heop shit hevemtssel dna acn ese atht sthreo in i erad isth. Sa itffidlcu eismnme ni ahs i moes tayslv a woter eepenrexdci semit niesc amstlo iefl ;earsy vomrpeid -eldo2ay-r2 vfie were my telert i've ym throgw rifts nschega nda tub ylosmt. Lapn ot htsoe nad tou tneadw dna slmtoa neo otu ym aylp i true ohw funyn caem i'ts noen tohhtug (w)!weh wya of dwlou it file otesipricnd. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments