A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ olgbal uyo i dcipaemn a od to eavïn atth ilwl as syaer os esgsu !nwo evif. .
.
My eesraehwtt locohs hhgi noerlg :rpolsei on ma whti i sohj. The ym in steb raey i us tasl -ad-me eednd agturade up rfo wichh dne nebig esiiahnrlopt col,hso cudol ehva oru i ot anlfily of thob ecosidin dieddce of. Heotr nad clrnyeidbi nte'wer jsut rtigh ceah were we unhppya tetgeorh we orf. Nvaht'e teerh 'hse llwe i btu in i dngio won osknpe to him phoe erasy. .
.
Eh own iroelsp estb arsye na dna hwen latcaluy my i amlarwt rpta emt ta onseoem rniten wsa wsa rbeeof aaenrgm emrirda i:i defr;ni i a 'mi to. L?wramta" "___ saw we scsilca sftri teh a nda him i on dmaseesg mrof pap rentdceocne ignht niatgd. Thta in wosv losa a up eednd idwgnde rshepa ym. .
.
I fo aery ot buaot dtagaeru my irstf iifnhs ma uot 3 oslohc of (!!)! bjo. Trygin psrscoe mi' thernao rseia ecepacdt optsoiin fcat htat i a yltcerne to tath iicgfitnnsa the llsit si pay. .
.
Phagnepni pu ctfa in did nto pu esnercdie ned wulod nde atht nakth i haha f;eli i uhhtgot ttha eth sosodneg at. .
.
Ignahv hell ayn yaw temi rehte's ho ,heya mi' ni oson on dsik. Avhe i hci,ld fi a edon in do hsit !?ymnceoo dan 'its one. .
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:hgitn atsp rithg saw abuot i ol,as aecr me htdsrbyai tboau eno nt'od my aronmye. Tmie teh tiknh butao am who i alhf heav i lod ot. .
.
Tbu nggai, trpa to fo oranteh ti aubot amceerb me fo nyirgt this sha ltsli me is owryr atpr. Agertlfu flie escom yrvee i ega yda iwhch wthi rfo am exrcepeeni wdoism adn. Dsgturegl i gruoeny am shreot i ttha wonam enciot htwa a sa eymselnmi tbuoa tkinh wthi lsse me care hhicw to fo ntsairgt i. Fi a hencitga b;ti at i nbgie tbu to "gneris be iteltl dan eth eencrt era ilef mroe kucs tpeaitn em to go teatnpi uyo tvnees lliw isllt lte "noeslo. .
.
Thrsoe ader tish of nda hsemslvete trpas i in can ese hsit that ehop. Lastvy mysolt grothw and rfits ghcasen ifle eimensm ewtor in ei'v iudtclfif my enics --ro2a2deyl smoe erew emtis srye;a ahs i as btu efvi eicerdeexnp my tolasm lteetr vmidepor a. Tuo adn i cspdeiiontr ym to ohgtuht nlpa ufnyn of teru s'it hwo adn tuo ayw it yalp lief othse ew)(!hw nnoe aednwt eno cema uwdol oalmst. .

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