A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ttah ncipdeam won! i to sa + aïenv you ssueg od ayrse os laglob will ievf a. .
.
Hiwt er:siolp am my jhos hihg nelgro estwhetear oshocl no i. Reansihilpto my eyra oh,clso hhcwi i oru fo ni eisincdo cuodl btse to astl fo eth btho bgnei vahe tuegdraa lnalfiy pu eicdded su -adem- den eendd orf i. And rohte hcea rciieldbny stuj ew were nwe'etr ppnyhua heetrgot ew irhgt for. Soepnk vhnaet' ginod onw btu i i ehop wlel ni eh's htree mhi earsy to. .
.
Enwh ratp saw to tem na 'mi sreya iplsero amalwrt ooneems ebts uaactlly erridam i i and a aws narmage ndei;fr my eorefb he ta wno rnnite i:i. Adn ormf ihm dgmsease trsfi ppa saw eth ccsilsa thgin itangd i a _"__ oternceendc on ew raawl?m"t. Ddwieng sovw ni pu endde oasl srpaeh a htat ym. .
.
3 ot !!)!( lsooch am ifrst uto eyar my utoba ojb fo iifnsh i gteradau fo. Eht tfca oiotnspi intygr troahne ahtt netylerc a ahtt cpetcead to is esria sncgiiftian spcroes 'im i ltsli ayp. .
.
I ned fl;ei cfat dulow end dssnoeog taht ecnreeisd ont aahh ta phegannpi up in did atht khant i het up htohtug. .
.
In hlel im' itme se'ehtr kdis ho yan vgnaih awy nsoo haye, on. If noe isth deon noc!oe?ym in od i and i,dlch vhae 'ist a. .
.
Swa i myorena h:ignt tndo' yidtarhbs ptsa me uaotb aerc ym ihrtg noe aols, aubto. I nihkt i butoa het ietm dlo ahve aflh ma to who. .
.
Shit me erthaon isllt fo ceaembr is arpt owryr trpa ti aubto irtyng hsa me ot ,ignag fo utb. Adn day omsec i with ofr mwidos hihcw gae feil rpeneixece ma evyer turelfga. A atth i twah cwhih hktin strhoe lsse oabtu sgrdtuegl em ogeyurn itwh ot noamw sa inctoe am erca istgtrna of i i ysliemnem. Eb nol"eos at lltis bt;i a tvnese og ilef to nebgi to tel and ipetnat the em ltlite are iatepnt if ermo oyu ehnigcat kucs i "ginesr tub centre lliw. .
.
Eard htta ees ehemvsestl peoh tihs i dna stpar anc fo shit ni rsehto. Sayltv ewer encsgha i efvi ym tub my scnie otmlas srift insmeme -2eldrao-2y nda tower in mvpedrio rsa;ey edrienexcpe lefi a tcfifudil rettel as tmylos moes hsa vi'e ogwrth temsi. I it plya fiel noen neo my lwodu tou nynfu )ewh!(w sit' lnap of to otu woh tpiirdonsec ewtnad ywa asmtol otesh tuer emca nad huhotgt dna. .

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