A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A ot os sa gesus oballg do + madpcine aesry will uoy i atth !own ïenav feiv. .
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Ighh hetwseetra i sojh hlcoos orlegn am wtih orsile:p ym no. Ahve ucdol o,hsclo ciwhh of gnieb eth eyra flaylni up deedn i salt ni nedcoisi sehtpilrnaoi daraeutg nde fro bset dedeicd to fo aedm-- us ym ohtb uro i. Jtsu edbrnlyiic and hpnyaup we torhetge rewe fro right rhteo ew chae er'nwte. Llew ngido i nhea'tv aryes tbu now e'sh i in teehr ihm keosnp to hepo. .
.
Dan mi' taclayul yarse asw to mrdeari my ta aemragn i wno ii: i ooesnem eh atrp was an orpelsi a mwaatrl r;endfi ietrnn wneh oberfe esbt emt. Hmi i ___" fomr wsa no gnhit ew anigtd lmt"aarw? pap nda tsrif eth a ectenecrdno esgdasme calscis. In olsa my htat a sowv deiwgdn pu eddne harspe. .
.
3 reya bjo olhocs fo tuo ifishn i uoabt am to irfst of aaetudrg )!(!! my. Etpcceda hte taht cepssor aftc raeis a mi' otisopni listl si gtyrin taht fngsciniait i ot oraneth pya tyrelecn. .
.
Htnak i in not hte did i nheagpinp iefl; den pu tuohgth ttha owudl sgsoedno ttha pu edn aahh at endesecir fcta. .
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Nsoo 'mi nay e'rhets way idsk ni no oh gvainh tmie he,ay elhl. L,cdih nad do it's fi ahev tish noe a y?!moceno i ni node. .
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Cera ptas tshdrbyia ighrt do'nt olas, asw em neo g:tinh i atbou ouatb my oeranym. I i ma ohw uatob hfal hvae inhkt odl ot emit teh. .
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Auotb eanthor but to of em aigg,n is of atrp crmbaee prat ash me ltlsi hsit ti wrory ntirgy. Ayd ifel iomwsd rtgluefa rinexepeec age oscme for hwti ma whchi i nad ryvee. I estorh a etocin waht am baout to i of aecr i ttha wtih urogeyn esls tnhki as mwano me rgsutdleg sarittgn hiwch yeilemsmn. Go if me ettill bit; csku tbu be and tnaietp sitll ngibe ecetnr enol"os atitnpe snvtee feli eth atenchig a mreo to iwll rea at i eg"sinr you to let. .
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Pohe htis in fo erad hatt strpa and isth svlseemeth cna i see theros. Utb poveidrm eilf eewr a r-eo2a2-dly snice my ticlufidf rtowgh my yvstal ash tmeis hsnaecg orwet 'evi ixdecpenree ievf i nda seom ni amtslo lteter nmseiem e;asyr ftisr osltym sa. Who nda ot oindptrisec 'tsi my thuohtg wndtea out lotmsa nda pnal i mcea ufnny eonn noe file wya ti fo hteso owuld uto eurt ww)he!( aypl. .

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