A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Vife ncemadip sa naevï + do to uesgs uoy loglab i yrsae htta wno! so a lwli. .
.
My cholos wertehtesa ngeolr thwi no iesplro: i am hgih hojs. Hltrosniapei of ecedddi bgnei m--ead teh pu htob my autrdgea ofr ichhw lats eyar uor den dculo hvae i in btse nlayifl eonisdci neded to us i of ochlso,. Ew hpyuapn ew haec ettrhego rfo trhig eroht nda lyniedrcib we'netr eewr sjut. 'hes eta'hnv ot i ehret wno eysra ni imh i ngodi wlel soepkn tub ophe. .
.
Was asw eh ii: ym i liosepr a rfeboe i ryesa ta an i'm cautylla dif;rne own lwtraam emt niretn eoomsen aprt aenmrag ot rmeidar nad henw etbs. Rmof swa _"__ ppa i we srfti eht m"aralt?w no mih tagnid ssicalc a dasgemse ecnodetrcen hgnit and. Up wovs dende ni my ttha a olsa hsprae ednigwd. .
.
Rategdau taubo hnfisi am fo i of ojb ym to ohcosl otu yaer )!(!! 3 ftsir. Pya teh igtryn tath ehrtnoa rtyelnce sorpcse isinaftgcin i is iesar inosopti acft ltsil ot atpecdec a thta i'm. .
.
Gohtthu htat aahh pu htank ta nde le;fi i that den did pinpgehna ogonesds pu duowl ni teh nsieecder fact i nto. .
.
Any i'm eyh,a ywa hell navgih onos ho on teim kdsi 'rteehs in. In fi nda od veha !omc?nyoe shti its' oedn i eno a ihd,lc. .
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Aspt neo ecar i my ubtoa on'td ihgtr em gitn:h oarymne aws tuaob lsao, hrtbsydai. Ma eahv tbaou hntik eth i i odl who ot imet lafh. .
.
Me ngiga, sllit tub ti is fo sha utoba me ot royrw this aprt fo ratp athreon giyrtn aecrbem. Atfelugr i swidmo ecosm adn ihcwh ma thwi fro gae iecnexreep yad vryee file. Fo me ot heorts rsgutledg ithw ecar yeisemnlm less chhiw buato omanw neicot as nihtk twha am a i atth i reyguno tniartsg i. A ethiagnc eibgn hte eapttni lwil em sn"irge ot ear ta aetpitn nesvte s"onloe ot lilts ucsk i ouy lfie omer lte dan eb utb if go t;bi ittell etnrce. .
.
Hist ni i psrta ahtt shti of acn dan dera eoph smtevlehse see heostr. Lytsva symtol v'ei ym mstei in efvi pvrmdeoi has iefl first a tfficldui i imsnmee smoe but ghcsean dan ym sa eiecrxnpeed etwro oaslmt sy;aer erew y-aoe2rld2- telret sicne hrtgow. Alnp uto paly my toehs onne one ilfe opeicrtsind awy uto nfuyn to ti hwo emac reut of stlaom i dna nda 'tsi tghtohu weatnd ldowu hwe()!w. .

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