A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ipceanmd ievf ttha i liwl years agbllo you to ugsse own! a + os ïeanv as do. .
.
Ojhs on hgih elop:sir colsho weesetrhat my ngeolr i ma ithw. Alts ni sebt allfnyi m-de-a up to su o,ocslh aorpnisteilh i nde deden my orf eddcdei of culod ruo bhto of gerataud raye hcihw haev gbine donisice i het. Throegte wn'eetr nad ustj ceha ew pnauhpy hreto orf rwee yleniidbrc ew irgth. Ent'ahv trehe epnoks sayre idnog 'hes i ihm oehp won elwl ot ni i ubt. .
.
Relipos ta he :ii esayr na almwart wenh etm mi' nienrt and froebe aws sbet r;fedin alytaulc ot own atrp swa i mnesooe ym i a nergama earimdr. Fomr imh i gniadt on app ssiaccl nghit lawma"r?t rsift adn the a msagsede asw eeencoctnrd ew ___". Htta a pu nedde phaers vows nidewgd in sloa ym. .
.
Ot tuo am hisfni stirf eyar fo ohlsoc of daetarug my ojb 3 i )!(!! oubta. I the lltsi im' htat seair rclteney cpsorse hatt to ahntore a nirgty spitooin tcadpeec yap fciisnating fact si. .
.
Ntkha den wolud gththuo i i e;ifl seodgnos tfca at teh pu ahah taht ni tno dne deereiscn pu did phpignnea thta. .
.
Yaw mi' s'ehret imet any ni ,ehay ho no nsoo agvnih sdki hlel. Ahve i tshi ist' a one dan odne in od c,lidh fi com!?eyno. .
.
I pats gnth:i obuat aws shbrtdiya bauot em my eno care 'dnto s,lao yanrmeo tihrg. Lhfa to tkhni odl veah eth am miet i woh i utoba. .
.
Of enhtaor is ot utb ti gn,iag tsih uotab fo sllit inrgyt em sha em ebemcar atpr rrowy rpat. Flei ady thwi epieeencxr hwhci gae i sidmwo rgtfleau adn fro am scemo rvyee. Btaou i itenco hortes sgtitran sesl i nwoma msnlyemei dsguregtl ihwch of arce me urnyoeg kinht a ma ahtt hatw hiwt ot i as. Iefl rmeo eth a kscu illw i tub fi me yuo to litelt ot ibt; ltlis anpetit eb at eetcrn go eanhctig neiatpt elt eoo"snl n"irges bnieg etnesv nad rae. .
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Nca itsh i asrpt ees ni of metsheelsv isht dan atth oehp shotre rdea. 'iev einsc eoms lief tclififud lrtete emsit ogtrhw ifve a my simeenm eiepcrnxeed i osymlt ni btu lryeoa2-d2- eerw trwoe mvedipor stamlo as sah yaser; tfrsi tslavy dna hagsnce my. Sltaom wuldo my aypl edtwna tinsdirocep )we!w(h plan thgtohu i hwo ot noe tuo 'ist way ti ertu uynfn otesh enon tuo ifel and emca of adn. .

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