A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Taht i a usesg cmianedp sa + venaï !nwo os gballo ot you fvei do seary llwi. .
.
Am ongler ohscol my weeatersth hitw i oshj :slpeori no high. Ocsho,l ideedcd my ot orf ouldc fo sioihentlpra both haev our i ebts eayr edend -ae-dm fo ned gatdruea the nbegi lsta i in nlyiafl su up cihwh eiidcnos. Uphpany nad ewer we caeh etrho ofr ew teghrote utsj rwt'nee gtihr ieirbdcnyl. Se'h to lwel atn'vhe imh i i doing rethe ponkes won ubt seray peho in. .
.
Hewn alutacly ym saw own dan a nmeraga ta boreef trap tbse imadrer tme i aws earsy tnnrie na i enmseoo riopels dfnrie; 'im eh trlmaaw i:i ot. Eht nda app ew wl?"marta tndgia first ihm aws eemgssad i fomr ccaisls a tihgn "___ no eonenrtcdec. Ni dnede a ahtt vsow also pu serhpa ddnegiw my. .
.
Ym atoub of scohol tou (!)!! tifsr eyra 3 of ifisnh am rdueagta job i to. Si tpccdeea stlil to tsngfciiani eaotrnh thta rescpos ttha im' ayp necleytr a aseir iytngr i caft eht tosiponi. .
.
Taht up i did gihannpep htta ni teh nhtka i catf end lduow sgesonod eidcernes ief;l up not haah htogtuh at den. .
.
Yaw ere'hts ho onos 'mi hlle in miet idks ehay, hnivag nay no. Ni i ahev noeyom?!c one a nedo od nda tshi si't fi ,hdilc. .
.
Nhigt: me gitrh wsa race ontd' atubo alos, i one past brdthisya autob my ymoenar. Tbauo iemt i avhe am hfal i the ldo ihntk how ot. .
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Tbu prta si em ti ,aggin rngtiy fo taeronh to aremcbe has htsi fo rwyro ratp abtou itlls em. Am eilf yevre yad rfo ega isdmow i dna faglteur mosec cwhhi nereepxeic hwit. Rgsatint em fo caer omwna mnmeeslyi ma knhti i thiw ahtt whcih wtah as ldstgegru tboua i eorhst nurgoey esls a ot ineoct i. If at iwll nad ot tle onlseo" life eaittpn eevsnt suck uoy istll hte i teenrc g"isnre nigeatch rome etllit me ettniap ;itb og be ot bigne era a tub. .
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Htorse ptrsa adn hatt can of tshi hepo see meteshvsle tihs in ader i. Reew veif tbu yr-e2laod-2 i dan twroe isemmen ganhces s;yare hwtgor svtlay sa rltete my ulidiffct srfti osem escni ash eirdmovp dprcxeineee a ni oylmts ym tsiem ive' elfi maoslt. Dwluo neo oghtuht stoeh ti lpna feil yapl owh wya urte adn tuo ynnfu ti's tou onen to asltmo fo i cioirntsped ym dwenat dna mcae e(hw!)w. .

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