A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Llgbao + as ifev i no!w atht ot so lwil do seusg nveïa a eysra npcmdiae you. .
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Sthwereeat ohjs am sohocl gihh nroleg iro:eslp tiwh i no my. Ym igben colohs, llfayni of i -emda- eeiddcd su fo up heav the nde to necisiod eayr ni i uro tebs othb deend lcuod fro oartispnhlie stal dargteau wchih. Hotrteeg irneblcydi ofr erwe juts hace ew pyhupna gtrhi adn wnte'er ew hotre. To terhe i mih e'hs vhane't onw peokns i tbu ohep ogndi llwe esrya in. .
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Agmanre ta aws rredaim eh i met id;renf i an latamrw nad to slrpoie :ii rpat yatllacu bfeeor m'i syear eeoosnm stbe ntnire swa ym wno a nhwe. Silcasc dsmeasge orfm swa him app hitng rtisf dntgia a i we eth "awmlar?t on and __"_ ondrteeencc. Osvw pu ni atht a ddnee wnegddi arsehp lsoa ym. .
.
Coohsl i iinhfs 3 am aeurgatd of fo !(!!) jbo eayr ot my tou otuba tsirf. Atht srscpeo rtelycen atht ctfa m'i ot is nncisifagit yap yrgitn cacdepte aonterh ieasr i eht tlisl a pistnoio. .
.
Otn fcat up ni i ie;fl taht tnakh ahnnepgpi did i dlowu ttah csndeeeir aahh geodsons up end othghtu eth ta den. .
.
Ksid hy,ea ywa ho no ni time lhel nay serht'e ghnaiv oons m'i. A edno od y!one?com eon 'its heva ,lcdhi and thsi i if in. .
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Oa,sl i tuoab asw noe mraynoe rthgi eacr uabot me atps my :hintg dtrhayibs to'dn. I i kinth owh am ldo otuba alfh ot heva tmie het. .
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,inagg htsi is ecermba em rahetno rpta it rrowy ash trgyni obtau of of tub iltsl me ratp ot. Eag eifl i wiht neipeecrex smoec every chihw orf and yad am dmwois tlagfreu. Thikn a lrugtsegd tath sa arce oitnce essl imlnsymee tiwh am toabu twah iwhch ngstrtai eynuorg i me hrotes i i nawmo ot fo. Het uyo ta nevtse to anettpi etcren em bt;i lfie ooel"ns lltsi etl ngibe but usck fi leiltt reom i ig"nres be dna giteahnc to go a lwli rae ptitnea. .
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Ershot ni of leetmssveh ese hope acn drae i dna thta rpsat isht tihs. Terow rdeeeneipcx rtteel epdomivr genscah i rotgwh sa yea;sr ym ieemnsm ecisn tlsaom ni etims rewe ym fitsr a2orlyde-2- a iefl sah e'vi ubt uicdtffli tloyms adn ievf ltvsay some. Rtue uto fo isndecoptir udwlo i w)ew(h! my it olmtas lapy yaw nda otu adn hsote lfie alpn 'ist cema eonn oen uthgtho owh to fnnuy ewdtan. .

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