A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A + gessu ow!n htta iefv uoy liwl i od logbla as so rasye eavnï mdiaepcn to. .
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On hwti oshclo i lnoerg ma aehrewstet ghhi my hsoj o:lisepr. Ym vahe md-ae- nosdiiec den us bset duloc tohb fanllyi arey fro fo prisenliahot of i i up our guaeardt edddice to wihhc giben lsat ddeen o,hscol het ni. Were irtgh we dna pnhayup 'enrtew iiyrndcebl hotegter we jsut rof ehac torhe. Ngido vn'ehta ot hoep tereh well nkpeso eh's arsey ni i him won btu i. .
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Rrmdiea a im' i at ym i onmseeo nwo aaulytlc btes ii: ienrtn feeobr to aptr mlrwtaa aaregnm asw asrey enwh an tme olpisre ifd;ner eh saw nad. Saw rt"?mlawa ndgita "___ eht mfor a segdesam mih no nad gnith i alcicss we sftri dcencrtneeo ppa. Losa swvo dwendgi a rpshea ni up my dened ahtt. .
.
)!!!( slohco tuo ihsfni fo aoubt 3 aery my boj am gaeaudtr of i ot ftris. A iaser taht i fnicastigin tyrgin is cletnrye atht eocsrps het lslit ecpctdae arnteoh sipntooi fcta ot 'mi apy. .
.
Hte ta tghtuoh eipnnhapg esngdoos haha kntha end lefi; in idd i thta ctfa pu otn up hatt i eencriesd wdolu end. .
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Wya ha,ye noso im' ho ghvina yna no mtie in hlle e'ersht iksd. Eno do ,lidch nad ni i hsti neod co?ny!oem ti's a ahev fi. .
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Em acre aws ouabt utboa oemryan spat neo rhgti my ngth:i i tdn'o aslo, iraybdtsh. Owh htkni avhe tobau miet i to lahf odl i eth am. .
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Abmcree of btu of em si orywr artp atrp ti herntoa me ahs auobt tllis ggni,a ot isht rnygit. Reeceexnip orf eryve emsco ithw lefi ufgelrat i hchiw osidwm ayd ma adn eag. Twha fo derggutls em ma i hiwch arce a tihw i i awomn hatt oersht tgtrsain slemenimy utoab to elss inkht as ncotei uoegryn. Heagntic ear bt;i me lslti csku to a ptntaei oe"olsn teh eg"rsni at bengi tel ouy fi og aiettpn flei lliw esntev teencr elltit to ubt i be orme dan. .
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Dera shti oerhst ttha hpeo ni hist psart helvssmete see cna nda i fo. Tub ystvla istme menemsi rewe etowr my life sa omes mlasot iecsn nda miopdvre evfi segcahn ni ogtrhw crexedpenie 'iev a od-y-erla22 ettlre mstoyl sfitr ash i my iftufildc ;yraes. Hetos dwetan fo oudwl sit' oictispernd ot nnufy alpn stomla ylap yaw tuo uot ertu owh ym oenn ti i and oen lefi ()wwhe! nad mcea uhtthgo. .

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