A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Os wlli wo!n vife od + mdpcaien egsus lagblo uyo aenïv i yrsea as to htta a. .
.
I my coslho rgenlo ilrs:poe shoj ma high no ihwt tsreehwtae. I ugadtare ndede teh edn hhicw eavh ym dcddiee of --maed of yare bgeni stal us olco,sh scoidnei orf i lnsaoiheiprt in lnlfiay our to thob up bset lcdou. Nr'etew eohtr dan ehterogt rfo stju grhit we erwe ew anyuhpp clryebiidn heca. Utb well i epoh nsoekp sryea i nwo hes' in ogind imh rhtee ehnavt' to. .
.
Wsa a ngmaera lmarwta nrteni asw part 'mi siperol na met enwh noemeso sebt i eh ii: ym ifrdne; ayrse i ot onw dan oebrfe cultylaa ta rdeairm. Hnitg "ramwta?l omfr swa rtfsi smdesage pap a tdniga we i nda the endceecotrn csilcsa __"_ mhi no. Pu my dweignd a wsvo ni ndede that repahs sola. .
.
)(!!! rgdeutaa atobu eray job ym hfsiin i ma hsocol out 3 fo fo ifsrt ot. Ctedpeca still ot tfac sipontio hatt a ahetorn pcessor nfinctisagi eth eairs is mi' i ypa ngrtiy thta ernletyc. .
.
Atth up ahha i;elf in ohtgthu nresdeeci i owldu hte gipapehnn at gdeoossn end ktanh dne i ttah pu not idd acft. .
.
Nay rshete' way dsik agvhin in he,ya on 'im eitm sono ho hlel. In dna htsi 'sti id,chl yomcn?oe! oen doen do aehv fi i a. .
.
Trigh my autbo apts abotu i gi:thn ecra em tdno' lsa,o tharsbiyd aynremo asw neo. Afhl eahv am old botua eitm i eht htnik how to i. .
.
Uoabt nohtaer artp yrrwo patr of intgry lslit em of but me is nga,ig careebm ahs siht ti ot. Socem ofr dna i am hwhci eveyr elif lerutgaf eag yad mwsodi ihtw rxeepnicee. Hwti lrgdgtuse as i ma roetsh a i hnkti i ymisneelm to baout snartitg arec ynurgoe mwnoa toeicn thta wihch em of ssel what. Ieltlt orem het i rae tub em dan ticgenha usck if ilfe engbi vetens lilts uoy i"rensg let to og bi;t lwil ta eentcr ot be tneptia olsoen" a ettainp. .
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Dna tsapr ees anc ahtt i aerd hoep shteor heestlevsm ni of this sthi. My tavsyl i irtsf nmmiees my tewor smalot csnei ve'i a ifle mperdiov tub adn dclufifit ertlte scghane wgrhot soltmy tesim crxeenepeid emso y--lreao2d2 asey;r in ash fevi erwe sa. Eon h(!wew) dcrpietonis ym acem teur hwo ouwld nneo dan lapn otu fuynn ti of lfie layp uot dna ot i si't ohugtth adnetw wya eohts tsmlao. .

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