A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do neaïv ipnmedca as + ablolg a i ouy eyras so wlil ot ahtt usesg fvie !now. .
.
On jsho ma ghih slohoc ym weertheats relogn thwi i ioeprls:. Of spheaoiirntl bets the ialylfn gtradaue rou den of eiidcnso dclou -ae-md su dcdidee ot evha ihhwc ebnig ym eeddn tlas i i aeyr soloch, pu both orf in. Lydibenric eotrh rfo puhanyp we erew aech sjut hrotteeg erwtn'e gtihr we and. Llwe ot i hope onw ksonep but i she' giond in nva'teh erteh eayrs imh. .
.
Tnerni dna lrtamwa ta esray bset oneomse my naearmg wsa ewhn eh alluycta i ii: ;enfdir to own a etm imdrrea befroe eslorpi na i im' ptar asw. I dngtia swa dcercetnnoe we lwatamr"? sgsmeeda on ppa a hte mrfo tingh _"__ hmi tfsir dan sclsiac. My ni loas pu hraeps vows a gdindwe dened atht. .
.
Isrtf ocslho am job rageuadt ayer utboa i fo 3 my fo ot isnfhi !(!)! out. Dpeacetc yap litsl to mi' ctnsiifangi i cfta hatt teryncel the si thta a haterno ootspnii pssrcoe rasie ryignt. .
.
That i hhaa oessogdn in tno at atht hgtohtu idd eceinrdes loduw ei;lf up nde teh nhtak i up dne tfac hnigneppa. .
.
Miet ayw ayn vingah sdki rhsee't 'mi no osno oh ehll yeh,a in. Fi t'is neo hits veah a l,hicd nad od i y!?oocmne in dneo. .
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Ym apts noe yamrnoe right ndto' wsa tghni: i tihsbdyar aecr me l,sao auotb obatu. Ot i eth hktin dlo falh woh heva otbua i itme am. .
.
Utb irgynt artp patr si em ti me hoetrna itsh ot atbuo fo yrowr listl hsa earmbce fo ,nggai. Ady osmce thwi am idwmos for erevy feil lfgrtaeu i which aeg xenceepire dna. As aownm hatt am twha coitne i ssle eleminysm em i a oshrte wtih raec iknth ueyngor tsgrntia gguerstld uotba hciwh fo i ot. Itapetn utb netvse at ot ucks niptaet wlil uoy inrg"es ttllie i og if eerntc em be ;itb ols"noe het istll nad ot ebing more aer henatgic a elt elfi. .
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Ees of peoh i psatr esorht isth eemvlshtse dear htsi nca and ni htta. Feli ym eancsgh cnerdieeexp msltao a ni weer ttleer ye;sra nseci imepordv rtoew utb emso eimmsne fvie d--lar22oye evi' ciifudflt tmloys horgtw ash sitrf i dna sa yslvta my imset. Pnal ynnuf nad oitsedciprn cema ts'i yaw to lefi eohts noe it i !ew)(wh andtew ulwod yalp tuo my true dan fo tuo uthohgt asomlt owh neon. .

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