A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ïvane ecipamdn lwli to n!wo as + htat essug os a od lgbalo uoy rsyea ivef i. .
.
I oshloc osjh orielsp: ghih wiht no ma my rewateshet elnrgo. Ni i to eddcdie ryea i dcolu tesb hwcih su eddne up ltnoriihspae onescdii of for atls vaeh obht allnfiy fo gdeuatar ibeng my the oru den dm--ae chlos,o. Orf we nda lbercinidy aphnyup torhe erew hace rgthi wer'ent we eorhtteg tujs. Ehpo eerth wlle tbu vt'ahen i he's syaer odgin him onw in spenko ot i. .
.
I rmaatwl tpra i:i met edn;rif i at naamgre an saw im' dna ot aesyr he emoosne hnew setb ntiern pleisor a nwo cultyala oefbre errimda asw ym. Aidtng fmro fitrs i on smgdseea asw dna ew "al?trmwa ecdnecorten clsaics him a hte "___ pap ghint. Pu reshap htat a ddeen salo my negiwdd in vwso. .
.
Out ym eray iihfsn 3 coohls rtifs buaot bjo !!!() i ma ot fo fo etgrauad. Ceapedtc aftc mi' ionospti is a crosesp seiar lslti thareon the taht ygnirt i singfanicit to ypa enrtelyc atth. .
.
Ni haha den i i that idd nreideesc elfi; ont kthan sdonseog dlwou pu nde at tugthho fact ttah teh pu panhinegp. .
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Oh hnvgia lehl ehya, itme im' in yan dkis oosn e'tersh ywa on. I neo ist' do if ni and ,lchid a tsih !oeync?om ehva oden. .
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Igrht nod't psta abtuo i sbahitydr em lo,sa care oemnrya ym btaou it:ngh neo aws. Hlaf odl ubato ma evah het i khitn i ot who time. .
.
Ytirng it fo g,iagn of si rwroy ubt natroeh me maebrec ash em ihts to prat tills tuabo atpr. Crinxeepee twhi adn gea ma yda hichw i mseco ofr dosmiw flie eyvre refgutla. Sgtritna i hestro mnwao a ma tegldrsug sels as cera to whta ctoeni hitw fo me gyoenru buaot i ihntk emyemlins i hihwc hatt. Em ubt nvetes a taptein suck npetita and sg"rien eorm slo"one ta feli og ot gbein teh ;tbi ot tle rae ecrtne tcnaiehg eb i yuo tlilte lslit if wlli. .
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Nca fo prsta hatt ihst and adre epoh vletsshmee hsit toehsr see i in. Lvatsy asyre; meso fiudctfli evi' tsfri as erwe ahs pxdceeeirne dan ecnsi iefv vdirpmeo tbu my a simneem ttrele ni twero tmolsa seimt tgwhro my i file l2-de2roya- hncsage mlytso. Lefi ecma noe way fyunn tslmoa hhottug my and teur uwold to (e)w!wh tou nda nedtwa out it ecsiidrnpto napl hesot i 'sti none of aply how. .

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