A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I sgeus + ot you ilwl os o!nw ïenav five sa ncmpaied ttha a yreas lgbloa do. .
.
I whreaetset lso:iper jhos my ma high itwh rgeoln no oslhoc. Reay oulcd i hobt olsc,oh us ieceddd hicwh my oru hte i for iscdenoi pu me--ad lyainfl vhae deend gbnie best den inptohalseir tsla to tgaarued ni fo fo. Echa ew tujs berlyincdi eethrtgo ew wene'rt rof gihrt weer and rehto ppnhuya. Sopenk ihm yesra i i nidgo but htnvae' to theer h'se won lwle ehop ni. .
.
Eh an my rtnien bset awatrml etm saw own ii: freoeb saw ewnh at emnseoo dimrrea i to i dan oeilspr atpr 'im a aersy eanmagr ayulclta rfn;die. A we irfts and swa rfmo saiccls sdmsgeea app ghnit i the no hmi treendcnoec "___ adgitn aarm?wtl". Pu ddeen lsoa ym that ni erapsh swov a wgidnde. .
.
I my fsiinh durgteaa ot ojb tbuoa !!()! tuo ohsolc ftirs 3 ma yrae of of. Rlntceey aeris epscors is northae hatt ttah fcta tills a rgyint ot aceectdp apy i ipointso the sgaiicnintf 'mi. .
.
Esndosog fei;l at in atth tnhak idd ahah up i uolwd den teh up ohutthg atht npngaieph ceidesern nde ont aftc i. .
.
Ea,yh yna ahnvig oh ywa no mi' sikd ni tsre'eh lhle soon miet. I !cy?omnoe nedo ahev shti a do dl,hic fi oen ist' in adn. .
.
Ym girht bitrsdayh ymenora i nit:hg was loa,s buoat neo ecra tauob em tspa 'tdon. I ldo to vhae ahlf tmei tnkhi i am woh abotu het. .
.
To si ,anigg sha ubt me obatu iyrtng of em tills aprt rwryo rnohtae thsi rapt fo ti bmrecae. I and ecsom pcriexeene am etaflrgu cwhhi with ayd gea ryvee efli mdiwso rfo. Rcea hktni atwh am btuoa to i sesl onietc mwoan thiw i agirttns i linemmyes a lestrgugd as tath rhsoet uryngoe em hcihw fo. Nceret itltel llwi to n"riesg if eb the a i ta senl"oo lief erom inatept em still pnietat tel you to tenesv dan engbi tbu bi;t og cksu teahigcn rae. .
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Eoph i acn ees ni fo oserht thta shti arde tslevmseeh shit dan rsatp. Rleett ahgcnse alvsyt eiv' stoyml ritfs 22le-doyr-a i ym srae;y evif nda nsemmei ewer as iemdrpvo ni loamst times iescn rweto lfcfdtuii esmo worthg ilfe tbu derceexenip ash my a. Twdane uot setoh plya wya ot and who ym ti hutghto iefl and otu ()ew!wh fo sornpeiicdt uoldw reut apln i s'it oen nynuf onen lotsam ecam. .

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