A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Emnpadci i fevi eysar agolbl a vïane sa atht lilw to gseus do so + yuo o!wn. .
.
Esi:rolp jsho aseewetrth ma hihg ihtw soloch ym i elnorg no. Etsb i rfo whihc ,scohlo odclu yalnlfi tsla vaeh ddeeicd tbho rou den i us iscinedo eht rolnetispiha ot in greudaat fo neded ebing em-da- my pu fo yera. Toreghet fro we wtren'e hcae ynpphua gtrih ertho adn ew jtsu erew nlbriyiecd. Igdno well i hse' opeh i eehrt to teanv'h speonk hmi nwo ni ysrae but. .
.
Tme nrntie na patr asw i ;fdinre swa he ot i ehnw rgmaena onw yctalual efrbeo atwmarl adn pierlso rseay ii: a esonoem 'im ym ta rarmdei bets. Ew was him ihntg rfsit "amat?rwl a acslisc ppa adn i mgasedes __"_ het cneercndtoe fmro ngitad on. Saol up a ednde ni my wigendd hatt osvw rapehs. .
.
Fisrt uadagtre ma ot fo yera 3 chloos otu inisfh my obj i of oabut (!!)!. Taeepcdc illts ctaf that snptoioi mi' ntrhaoe pya i ianfiticgns het htat tneyelcr sarie si pecsrso to a ytrgni. .
.
Up dsinereec het loudw did ktanh up ohthgut elif; den ttha ta i i ahtt seongdso hhaa dne in eghninpap ont fcta. .
.
Any in wya iahvgn oosn m'i diks no ,aehy miet oh hlel tesr'he. Ni eno do isht dna if heva icld,h eond a i 'tis cy?eo!onm. .
.
Yrhdbiats i ubota caer aos,l :ithng ym nmoarey noe asw hrtgi me butao tasp n'tod. I htikn dlo owh vahe meti teh ma flha to autbo i. .
.
Wryor fo rygnit tapr shit tabou aptr me i,ggan has of utb em hoenatr ot is emebrca ti lltis. Yreev i am rfo hwihc eilf eatgurfl dya adn hitw omcse sodwmi xnepecreei eag. Essl onamw baotu ot whit em whhci hitnk sa am of ugtlesgdr raec i yeorgnu i what hotrse eeimnlmsy tistragn a ntoeci i tath. Fi scku at tseenv rea fiel "nsleoo ipnatet go ot the ib;t nsri"eg piaettn ouy nda elt illw inghaect eltilt llits iebng a tbu me reom ot be ntecre i. .
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Esotrh erda nac fo ohpe ees in apstr htat hits i sthi nda elehessvtm. My ifle vfie a neiemms resya; hgwotr oewrt ni tsime nad icesn ash some eterlt otasml oprdimve but otlmsy i weer dceeeiprenx oal2-dry-e2 tlysav my gchanse ludciftfi frtis sa i've. Yunfn dan udowl fo enon atlsmo pnal ohw to i'st eamc i oen ym otu feil it )!weh(w hseot ylpa uto ywa dewnat oercitsnidp dna thtuogh reut. .

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