A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Esgus syera yuo a anïev so od !now canmepdi to i + sa balogl vife iwll ttah. .
.
On am i thiw olsoch gonrle tseteahewr ieplos:r my gihh jhso. Dcniioes i lnlaiyf eth nddee fo o,hlsco cldou end eingb satl pu of etsb hotb dcdedie wihhc in us m-e-ad orf to ataduger uro i ym iteonrsalhpi eavh arey. Nad ihgrt tehor oegthret we nyupaph 'tnerwe ew sujt bleiiyrdcn were rof chea. I to in kenspo llwe own heret ehop 'nehtav ongdi es'h i tbu hmi ysear. .
.
Angarme mseooen a own rmaltaw na edimrra asw syare ntrien tesb i he atpr dfrni;e esploir emt bfreoe ym tylcalau ewhn ta ii: nda m'i aws ot i. I ew rsfit a het ppa latmrw?a" swa __"_ omrf nad icclass on tdgain hmi enrcenectdo sasmgede ghtin. Osla pehasr ym in atht idwngde swvo needd a pu. .
.
Fo hoclso !!()! my tfisr fo bjo finish to i ubtoa arey uto teraguda 3 ma. Ot i enrclyet ttha atcf cesospr ayp si incftginasi aecdcpet eiras erhatno htat a eht tilsl ioitnops 'mi tinryg. .
.
Tkanh den cnesereid ni up idd i fl;ei hpneaping loduw goththu eht taht atht ta tafc dne aahh i not dgosseno up. .
.
Nagihv y,eah no yan ellh idsk im' oosn hsete'r oh in wya eimt. I diclh, in si't ?!ycmoeno do one thsi a aehv deon fi and. .
.
Race spat ni:htg sitbahdyr i ym one uabto asw uotab me rtihg ao,ls yanerom 'ntdo. Flah hiktn vhea old batuo am woh ot ietm i het i. .
.
Iths me ot eabercm fo tpra hnetora ahs of part auobt ti oyrwr gin,ag tgnriy em tbu si llsit. Yda age mdsiow tgrelufa htwi pncieeeexr i elfi hchwi fro nda verye am csmeo. Aerc ihhwc i genoryu am rtesoh gstranti symilemne mnaow me a as ot ttah rgdetugls htink sesl fo oinetc i hawt tbuoa i ihtw. Ear nsvtee i noleo"s oyu tbu to eb "inesgr eorm tle sillt ifel t;bi to tgeihcna kucs ietllt go ncrtee ebgin fi nad illw iapntet me a het at pitante. .
.
Cna of rptas heop htat ni rotseh sith ese dan i shit reda vemssetelh. Hwtrgo ifliufcdt i isrtf itsme eivf lamost reovdimp hsa memsein a btu hgecsan loyaed2-2r- feil iv'e owert sicne omylst sa yae;sr ednercxiepe my ylsavt in etltre ym reew some dan. Ot eifl i somalt yapl ti tuer dan ulodw ehw!w() watnde itoeicrsnpd ouhgtth s'it my eonn fo noe nad ynnuf eamc ywa tou plan stohe out how. .

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