A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Seusg easyr evif a htat as glaobl uoy ïaven lwli i !nwo ot + so do namdeicp. .
.
I ma ognrle my ohcslo ihtw ghih hjos on erewaettsh iorlps:e. Up i of ryea edned ahve fro gtdaruea ducol sebt nrolpitsheia lsta afinlyl l,ochos bieng su i my oru emd--a eddcedi ciwhh ni ohbt nde of ot teh dcenisoi. Erntwe' yielnrdcib hirtg haec rewe ahupnyp dna ew rfo utsj eroth we trethoge. Ndgoi 'hes skoenp to neatvh' i ni hepo rteeh syrae imh won lwel but i. .
.
Hwne ylaacutl di;ernf to at mridrea asery psorlei was eeomnos nwo i:i obreef 'im ym tbes eh menagar wtlaarm netrin asw i ratp met a dan na i. App mhi a the hgtni teecnncedor itfsr lcaissc angtid no __"_ dan eegsadms tar"wl?ma ew wsa i fomr. Soal ym egddinw aserhp ahtt up owsv in ended a. .
.
!(!!) strfi my of am abuto eary rudaaetg of 3 tuo loocsh to hfsini i obj. Fatc eenyrltc hatt ocsepsr pitooisn teh si a ot acdecpet m'i tath fiisangitnc ginryt htnreoa i apy lilts riase. .
.
Ipgnhnaep i atht dgoeonss ned ned tno dulwo hhaa up reeencsdi pu ni hatkn ugthtoh hte fel;i i hatt tfac ddi at. .
.
Ay,he yan in oh no hell hngvia etmi ywa soon 'mi sre'het sidk. Ncey!?oom ni od tis' i deon hcdi,l neo evah a hits fi adn. .
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Wsa :gthni 'tndo tihrg amyreno touab care ym la,os i pats rihsdybat one utboa em. Etmi ot evha the i i ktihn am how tbaou lod alhf. .
.
Acembre ti ot siht nehrtoa yntgri tbaou ahs me woryr tub agnig, aptr of is me prta fo lsilt. Flei iswomd for veyre erpeixeenc gtralfue ma i ihhwc nda csmoe age ayd twhi. Hichw am em tihkn rsedggtlu to ertsoh geouryn i a oatbu wtah tiwh onecti as aowmn slse i of atth isnrgtat caer i yemlmeins. Lwil bi;t i titanpe em nda "rinesg eb a tlsli lns"oeo ubt og rae giebn ot ieatntp elif uoy tsneve to fi ksuc ta enrcte eth tlilet gancieht tel ermo. .
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I ttah trsheo iths taprs iths cna svlthmeese adn ees in hpoe fo ader. Meso ievf hrgowt fstri erttle sa lsomat ubt icftilufd e'iv pdervimo sha eachgsn otewr e;arys etims ym i stylav yltsom a dna file weer ym nrdeeipexec yar2--2edol nsmeemi iensc in. Hwe(w)! ayw oehst of life pyal adn my ti eonn meac neo somtal dan otu ot yfnnu itiesornpcd uto i gtuhhto wtnade luwod how alnp teru its'. .

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