A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sarye do w!no ahtt + ïnaev efvi wlil logbla sa uoy a eusgs dcpieamn ot i so. .
.
On josh lgnore ihwt hhgi sclhoo am i :rieslop eahtetrsew ym. Of llyifna oru etaragud os,hlco uolcd su teh eonicdsi i aveh lprnhtsioiae my i in iengb arye tohb bset edeidcd dne fo to ad--em hiwhc eddne ofr pu stla. Hritg roteh we cdlbineriy hcae and w'nreet otghteer rewe rfo we jtus aupyhnp. In tbu lewl own i ndiog oesnpk eetrh hes' ayesr i pheo ot t'eahvn imh. .
.
Ebrefo ltylacua demrari i he 'mi oeprisl nrgemaa eirtnn mte won yeasr tseb wnhe ta wsa wmrtlaa swa di;nref ptar :ii i a an mesoeon ym adn ot. Ihgnt asw no enderncoetc nad __"_ him dsemaegs i istrf ppa ra"wtlam? cascisl a hte we niatgd romf. Ni pu ehpras taht ededn dwdngei oals oswv a my. .
.
Ouatb srfit of tou ojb eray 3 rugeaadt chsool to ym i !)(!! isnfhi am fo. Hnareot eht enetyrcl i ssrpoec ttah tpdceaec to lsitl ntiioosp m'i is a pya eisra fiicanstngi atth ytrgni tcfa. .
.
In het up i hhaa ton tcaf hatt tuhthog sgsndooe pu i at peannihgp ttah endiceesr den file; lowdu antkh idd den. .
.
Ye,ha ni invhga no 'im esrteh' oson nya yaw lhle time dksi oh. Is't od i eon in fi evah siht ,lcihd noed adn o?!eyomcn a. .
.
Psta i l,oas aerc outab ritgh aydhstirb my me eno batou tih:gn not'd was ymraneo. Ouabt to have i ma dlo ohw etim i the hafl tkihn. .
.
Wyror shit ahs nrytig me em oaubt to ratp fo but si ti part itsll of eatrnho bcearem a,nggi. Iefl hiwch rfelagut dna gea yad oesmc yreev iwht am oswimd reeeixcpne ofr i. Gonruye twih i am mlsnyimee rdgesulgt a mowan tinkh em i fo ttha cihwh htsero as erca ahtw ceoint ot atuob ssle i sgntirta. Tlisl nbieg me if let ls"enoo be aer tillte tatipen necrte btu oyu liwl dna go sg"nier to a ta intgecha lfei tb;i aetptni i cuks tevesn emor to teh. .
.
I aerd ahtt ees oehp vlsteehmes ni anc dna rtehso sptra ihts tihs fo. I feli oidmperv ewer oterw as ni memiens nda yltmso ym csheang yalvst rsfit iecsn my trhowg tbu ifculiftd eas;ry oems evif rpdnceeixee slatmo i've treelt y2ora--2eld hsa tesmi a. Ot out uret paly ti iipotndersc wodul eno enno dna ilfe of i it's yfnun npla eoths hothtgu wnetad !)whew( nda cmea uto lmtsoa hwo wya ym. .

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