A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Esyar !wno ot sa ouy lagbol htat do so enicamdp + aenvï i efiv ssuge lwli a. .
.
Grnoel oesprli: shjo ym on iwht hghi eewateshtr ma holsoc i. Beign i iplesrithona fo codul nde edden bste draageut ni fo oru ofr ym lo,scoh bhot i ailflny ededdic pu ehav yrae oeiniscd ot hichw eht stla dme--a su. Orf hoert unpyahp n'rweet trghi crlybeiidn ew ew caeh ewre dna juts hgtoeret. Ubt ni well i i eoph ot hvena't neksop 'she mih rhete won godni erysa. .
.
Eaysr mi' lraamwt ;rfidne :ii ot sbte nehw ym seoneom ta asw na i raedrmi a caullaty emrgaan leoprsi beoref i onw dna ennitr aws tem tpra he. Ew swa taaw"rml? eht no itsrf ___" nad sdmesage enccdoernet i him ppa frmo a ndiagt cslcais ighnt. Deedn atht persah osvw up lsoa a my dgdneiw in. .
.
Fo otu !!(!) am eartgadu tfirs i lohcos fsinhi abuot fo my ayre ot 3 jbo. Siafniingtc ahtt ot i'm litls ttha tionsipo yrentlec catf erntoha a rsosecp i si eth ayp tpedacec nygrit rseia. .
.
Pu haknt lefi; hatt aftc i hhottgu idd ahah iendcrees ont npehgpnia dlwou htat den at ni egdsosno pu hte nde i. .
.
Tiem way 'etersh oh yna m'i dksi haey, ni gvihan noso llhe no. S'it do if ndeo hvea one i clh,id !oycmno?e a hits nad in. .
.
Nhigt: pats ym em boatu igthr s,lao otaub one yemrano dabyrhsit i ecar aws tnod'. To ma hwo flah hnitk ldo uaobt i ehva eth meti i. .
.
Ot me hsa fo tisll rrwoy ggia,n btu me tuoba part netrhoa ptra it of ihst ygrint amrcbee is. I iwht gae dna ma rof lfie moiwds eartflug ayd pcexeeenir cmeos hhwci yevre. I as i am utgdreslg hiwch ynmieelms ecra hatt nihkt em otaub trasting ryuoeng a twha rsheot htwi sesl of ot i itncoe mwona. To b;it lon"eso eisn"gr ubt eibgn tle ot og nterec ettipan a be eht oyu tcagneih scku oerm wlil napeitt ta i if dan efil me lstli are tlielt eesvtn. .
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Ni fo dna ees ethosr i tsarp shti hatt anc tish oeph dera tlesmhsvee. Twero osme a my lteert i iesnc ni htorwg ucfitfdil ilfe enerpxdiece tisme ;esrya ahs adn ubt 'ive ym itrsf as mytsol eirmvodp ashecgn efvi osmatl memnsie reew yvsatl ael-2ry-od2. Napl ot nad i yalp t'si retu udlwo cema file ti fo tou owh tuo hseto oenn etdnwa rpeisicndto dan ywa my tuhohtg )e!(wwh lsatmo eno unyfn. .

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