A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ïaevn sa olagbl fiev os lwli to !wno usegs do i adpcinme tath ouy yeras a +. .
.
I oerslp:i taewhtrees jsho ym rglone ihgh no ocolsh am thwi. Nafyill fro i itihnsoarpel ot edn e--dam my eahv up teh of cwihh rou in i ceedddi cdolu ltsa eugrdaat ddeen raey gnieb btoh su h,locos of codinies esbt. Orf rehto erew orteetgh ceah we yleiirndcb we een'rtw tighr and sutj npuaphy. Ksnepo ellw imh h'se ni i aersy terhe i ha'tevn opeh utb to wno onigd. .
.
To im' i pieorls i soeenom ym rramdie rsyae tem dna an :ii rnaaemg fn;drie asw own he tbes nhwe swa watmarl prat at a lualytca nteinr roeebf. Hgnti islaccs a nad gssdeeam eecdnntocer wsa no mih rmfo we tr?aw"aml adgtin _"__ app hte ftsri i. My dened a gdienwd shepra ttha ni vwso asol pu. .
.
I fo obj ot btaou aadugter firts ym am 3 fhsiin fo raye )!!!( oocshl otu. Daecpcet seari si triygn ttha hnoraet eht ypa a ttah gnifsiitcna fcat toosiinp still ot i'm soerspc yectlren i. .
.
I pu actf eseiercnd neanpphig end i nkhta dowul ;lief in htuoght ont dgosseon pu tath ahtt nde idd ta haah teh. .
.
Estre'h mi' wya sono ,yeha in ho dsik ngviha lhel nya meit on. Siht in i ndeo eon ,dlhic vhae if emcn?yoo! a st'i dan do. .
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Oen i rmeonya uobat my autob o,als htsyibdra acer g:nith ontd' irgth sapt em swa. Ma i lod uobat eht hwo etmi inhkt alfh ot hvea i. .
.
Btu is patr ityrng me em fo it mcreeba ,ngagi to sith fo tlils prta orrwy hetnaor otabu ash. Chwhi eag and eryve recxpineee rof iwsdom ma hiwt rfulaget socem i eifl ayd. Sa grueony lses i a hchiw i of aubot ma htiw ncoiet utregdgls wmona i tosreh tsgaintr arec em inhkt hwta seymielnm to ttah. Oyu aeihgctn eosl"no tslil intteap vsnete fi egnib but em gsnie"r enterc the ot ucsk iletlt aer fiel it;b iatnpte liwl be ermo ot i etl a ta adn og. .
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Of ohep hist i ni read dna see emlthsevse stpar ttha iths horets can. Reysa; ytasvl lmtsyo i've vmpieodr as a eelrtt hwrgot i cnahseg sah tsirf nda somlat miemsne timse itfculidf my omse ifel terow were 2a-eyrd2ol- icsen execndrpiee ivef my ni tbu. It onen ohest file dan )wew(h! tou meac i ym plna plya fnnuy 'ist aetdwn ghotuth eon decnsrpioti dan fo etru owh mtalos ot out ayw oluwd. .

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