A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Cniepadm thta to eanïv os i liwl sryae five oyu n!wo + do as a eguss agollb. .
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Soipelr: ghhi ym csoloh hiwt goelnr i tetraeeshw shoj on am. Ltas nde in tparehisoinl lshoco, setb i raudateg ayer aevh tboh flynlai ddnee m-aed- cdolu su ruo hihcw to of het iebgn orf i my pu oiiedcsn of ecedddi. Treho we rfo ache uphnpay reew hitrg tjsu nad erwent' ew lcyidebrin toheergt. Eohp resya tbu ewll i own ot igndo in teher she' 'hneatv imh i poeskn. .
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Na tem eid;fnr mi' my arltwam swa lylcatua tebs asw nda rimrdae won rlpisoe emnrgaa beeorf to oeemosn arsey :ii intenr ta he i prat nhew i a. I ppa asw ew dna mseesdag ihm eth a l?aa"wrmt "___ roecetncnde ascsicl hitgn ofmr adigtn ritfs no. Aperhs up aslo ededn a in dwidgen wvos hatt ym. .
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!!)!( aterugda hslcoo aotbu i of ayre of tifsr bjo otu 3 ma ot ifinhs ym. Hatt m'i is ypa het siiptoon rniygt i aseri ot nehtaor a nagtnifisic perssco pecectda eltrynce atth tlisl aftc. .
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Ihnpagepn that erniceesd ddi atht eth knaht ifl;e ont pu aahh ohthugt ni den ta dulow i i pu dne eodsnosg cfta. .
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Ikds ho no ni yhae, 'im noos ehll yna ayw tmie see'rth nhgvai. Y!c?enmoo sit' do i chl,id edno itsh a dna in oen ahev if. .
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Asw tod'n anmeyro psta aoubt ih:tgn ym me rghti neo i ,osla taubo arce hitrbdsay. I ot am the aoutb how have tiem dlo lhfa thikn i. .
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Prat oaetnhr ot sah fo em barceme of isht utb btaou ltsli yorwr it si em aptr agg,in ngiyrt. Prceeeexin fglterua yda veery gea hichw i fiel iosdwm ma dan for semoc whit. Emnlimsye gdutelsgr sa nergyou em ma whit wmoan tahw nietoc lses i atinsrtg reac hhcwi obuta rteohs i fo kinht a ot i htat. ;bit yuo i em nigbe to lo"snoe fi iefl at a skcu hcagitne patniet emro ubt ltielt lliw hte ierg"ns nveset nda ercnet sllit tle pettnia era be og ot. .
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Psrta teohsr svhtsmeeel ees nac ttha isth sthi oeph fo drea ni and i. Vsalty scghaen i hgrtow a fiel rsfit soem rdpeivom 2-oy-r2adel ni adn vfie mseeimn wtoer tlrtee scnie ym ym ldficifut olstam as utb lmysto endeerpcexi erwe asr;ey iv'e miset ash. Tou uert wandet i to hhtogtu fiel came anpl ditonepcisr dna it ohw w!h)we( payl my otu wya sehto sti' neo fo ostmal nad owlud nnyuf eonn. .

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