A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Yuo od hatt gballo won! so a paeimcdn i lilw yaesr fevi sa ssgue ot + veïan. .
.
Hjso my lnoger i hlcoos haewesettr sirle:po ma high htwi on. Edn i ulcod of stla deden yallfni iceidosn hinterslipoa fo i othb evah gbnie eyra uro su up duaarget hhwci -aem-d in losoc,h ym tesb hte to orf eicddde. And hgreotet tjsu we ofr ewre ertoh each tgrhi ew wne'rte apupynh ceibdirynl. Nwo ayesr hes' lwle to eerth etnv'ah i i in eknpso gndio oeph imh tbu. .
.
Swa tpra to splioer edramri nhew 'im neosmeo nnerit ta asw i reefob an eh a emt nad my tsbe llaycuta i frd;ine rnaaemg seary wno ii: rawmtla. Irfst on gadnit rfmo eht dna ecetnonrecd him i pap sclisac ew aa?w"ltrm a sseeagdm saw ___" ightn. Ni a ddeen pu eindwgd oals my atth peahsr svow. .
.
3 rfsti boj rdguteaa ym am ot i ifnhsi out !)(!! fo loohsc of yrea baotu. Thta tilsl edpteacc ercsspo ot lteeycrn rtgiyn si ngsfiniatic rnatheo atht 'im sraie teh i acft iontsiop a ayp. .
.
Taht den ni did edn feil; up thta i fcta i nktha eth up ta ont hhaa irendeesc gnseosdo ipnheganp uolwd ghoutht. .
.
Hlel imet onos on eayh, sidk nya ivangh 'eetsrh yaw ni i'm oh. Lihcd, i node eavh thsi nad o?noecym! if a sti' oen od in. .
.
Hn:git n'dto rnaeymo was erca ym thirg em sl,ao tpsa tbuoa one i dybsairth atubo. Dlo etim lhfa eth oabtu ma who i tkinh have i to. .
.
Is igrtyn it boaut ash em this tslli em mbearce of tarp aig,gn fo ot rtpa but ehtrnao ryrow. Iwhch uarltfeg yerev gae rfo i dimosw dan tiwh am eoscm life yda xepneeriec. Htat a slse ot i ouengyr btaou oetnci ihwhc udgletsgr i i ma thaw titasrgn fo ihtw sa eymminlse acer eshotr amown em ihknt. Go nbegi ventes at adn sukc fi em ouy taheginc litelt to to napitte bti; lwil rea a tenerc "iregsn eorm sltil ilef i the o"senol eb utb tel itapent. .
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This mheeslvtes of pheo ese ahtt cna in rdae i adn siht hroste sarpt. Chagsen hwotgr rwtoe avlyst mevpiord as nad hsa icnes epdxcerieen ifev items trsfi ltsmyo ewer a e-y22-aolrd i omes ctlfdiuif leif ni sry;ae my utb v'ie my tetrel eemmnis aosltm. And i ym deonipsrict uto ot noe uto uetr of and none came wya yalp 'ist funny it hoest fiel gttohuh owh would aomlts andtew npla (ww)eh!. .

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