A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ as wo!n vefi do i taht resya ot ugses lablog os lwli oyu a iaepnmcd vaïen. .
.
Lp:iroes hhig wehsettare ym hwti i genorl socolh no hjos ma. To nfylail year the iceoidns aoresptinhil edden ltsa of steb vhae up --dema oh,scol nibeg chwhi raaetudg ym i den of rfo oru btho dedidec ulcdo in i su. Ew dcbelinriy ttoeghre tgirh ew uaynpph ewre nte'rwe treoh nda ceha ofr utjs. Eerth i won spekon imh i ayrse ubt lwle sh'e heop ahte'nv in ngoid to. .
.
Rtap nsmeeoo ii: swa to tme areys wrltama adn boefre irdrmae dfrin;e my a nrmeaga i btse wno nehw im' eprsoli an llutacay he nenitr saw i at. Imh pap fistr we on i iangtd mssdaege a clsasci teh rmfo occeeretnnd _"__ and ralw?"tma nghti aws. Gidnewd shrepa taht up wsov a neded ni asol ym. .
.
Fo to )(!!! i job aeagtrud trsif osolhc nhisif ma arye ym touab of uto 3. The ypa sioitnop csosrep lslit patcdeec a tath ttha to gyitnr clyteren i tcaf ifnistaginc ohraetn is rsiae 'mi. .
.
Den up ftac the ahtt apnngehip tath tahnk ni not ta gthothu ;feli ddi lowdu cedrseein dsneoosg up edn ahah i i. .
.
H'etesr vigahn nay noso awy im' e,yah sidk ho lehl on tmei ni. Edno i o?eon!myc a od hsti dih,cl if ni vhae dna sti' eon. .
.
Buoat raeonym psta my otnd' em i was i:ghnt itgrh oatub eno erca al,so abydsirht. Lfah i het ma thkin touba to mtie eavh owh i odl. .
.
Aptr nthorea eerbmca em fo me patr utabo yrwro lltsi ,gnagi hsa btu it this fo tinyrg is to. Cemso dsmwoi tlageurf nda hiwt am for peexriceen lfie yad hciwh yreve eag i. Htaw a sureltdgg i atht ma essl nsemelmiy tangrits ineotc i chhiw me i to earc twih fo srohte omwna toabu as egyronu htnki. Gsin"er to the eb ckus me i gnthecia "noselo nda are go but a nteerc efli fi gebin tib; ta liwl stenve eiptnat ttllei let eomr ieaptnt ltsli ot you. .
.
Stih pheo thsroe tath i drea and ni ese of stapr sthi can setesvmleh. Semo nagehsc sa eilf e;ysra miervdop yvtsla rotwe iev' ertelt ym ym msneemi tbu tymsol denrepeciex i tifsr a ivef emtis wrgoth stlmoa in 22arodey-l- adn weer lfifidctu icnes ash. Tou oseth ym mace uot deawtn alpy nnoe t'is uynfn dan slmtao hwe!()w odwlu yaw gtouhht nad nalp i of uret ilfe eno owh ti tenidpciros to. .

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