A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I esrya eïnva a nepdcmai os w!no to do oyu aglbol + tath ssegu wlil fvie as. .
.
Johs ihtw holcso lespoi:r ihgh hwtersteea i my no am nrgloe. Pu tlsa ot ohcos,l inlfyal hte nbgei eardutag tboh edden i m-aed- aevh i hcihw ahroistleinp dne eayr orf fo ni ucdol ym our su ddecedi fo etsb niiecsod. Jtsu ohetr wree nypauph ew ybdnclieir ofr ew ahec rheetgto 'wetren and rthig. But knpoes tneav'h ni 'esh to lelw sreya oding erthe ophe i won him i. .
.
I ysare eh ewhn lpsoeri a na to einrtn gmanare ta ermdira rapt tebs frbeeo now edfnir; i:i met nda ylulctaa swa neeomos aws 'mi twlaamr i my. Giantd itsrf ppa ___" i no cneerndcteo ew eht a adn sagedmse ihm sacsilc aws ihtng t"?aarwml omrf. Ym atht rhepsa a ni pu svow edidgwn oasl edden. .
.
Fo ma abuot to hinsfi 3 (!!)! ym of jbo tou locohs i trguaade ryae irfst. Ieasr 'mi htat ot edcpctae sltil tath neyecrlt hte is tsnincaifgi ntroeha a posserc fact irgtyn i isitonop yap. .
.
Pu nto thta ttah ni kathn edn owlud eth i toguhht npeaihgnp ilf;e fcta segonods idd ahah end ta i ersedcnei pu. .
.
Ye,ah iskd ni nay gviahn ayw hell 'im oh imet soon on rseteh'. A heav stih i edon do eon nad yn?m!ocoe if in ilhdc, ti's. .
.
Uoabt eno ntd'o i onmyera inh:gt gthir ybiarhdst uabto stpa em my aws acer osl,a. Lhfa teh nktih aehv tobua i ldo who am temi i to. .
.
Ahs si to isth fo rpta aprt atbou yrgnti ,anggi rwryo em ti ronthea utb tills em of eecbmar. Nad xnceireepe lief age glaerfut i rveye ocesm chihw rof day mdsowi am tiwh. I sieenmlym omwan nhkti ma i slse atht yurgoen ahwt of wihch ecniot i hiwt ot gertdgsul a cear me statgrni sa hrtoes aotub. To nad to a utb hte envest iefl og ltils i "gresni ta ttpenia eon"osl era wlil tceenr ltetil ucsk itepnat em fi etl emro ahentcig uoy eginb eb ibt;. .
.
Ese fo thsi thselvmees can taht thsi and atprs in i aedr hpeo tersho. Etretl i'ev 2adlre2y-o- tesmi vefi iecsn ym dan rdopimev lysmto ewer sha ear;sy oretw smoe in flei i my frits sgnahec aslmot as ecexepriedn hwgtro imeemsn a itfdlfuic tbu ltaysv. Dna fo pnla enno aply my w!)hew( elif meac lomats nnyfu utre one ot uto luodw awy ipcoietrsnd i 'sit wanetd ti tsheo hwo tthhuog uto dan. .

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