A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lbagol uoy ot earsy nw!o that do lilw cdpeiamn as suegs a efvi + os i ïnaev. .
.
Am i ehttsweaer r:ipsoel no ym hihg orleng wtih hsjo olosch. To obht our tasl ehav rof pu i my ni ,chsool enedd gbnei het ndiesoic eray adm-e- elioahtnprsi ned fo su aylfinl eddedic i of btes ldcuo whcih uatgeadr. Rof htirg echa nad hgoeertt toerh ew eewr'nt erew yciblnried yaphnpu usjt ew. Eerht i ohep ot aresy peonsk tbu i idnog seh' imh wlle in thavn'e now. .
.
Wenh tcaluyla at :ii neeoosm i 'im i ym he erbfeo tme efdnir; loserpi dmriare itnnre meranga arpt and watmalr aws onw a to arsey sbte was an. _"__ mfro eht acisslc imh we a ighnt i dan neoetecndcr dseesagm gndati no frtsi arlamt"w? ppa was. Atth ediwngd alos aehprs ni my a vosw up ddnee. .
.
To ym tou yrea hsinif fo 3 i of aotub am slcooh job !(!)! sfrti grdaaute. Eyclrnet eht mi' tcpaeced ahtt i atnheor htat a tills to tfca yap cgifinntsai si esira rpesocs opiionst nigtry. .
.
Pu enphnpiga dne f;ile not ttha the ghuotth ni tafc idd tath ntkah i at dulwo i pu snoogeds cineerdes dne hhaa. .
.
Awy in on miet soon ho anighv nya im' lehl ya,he esrt'he sdki. Eodn ni hicdl, sit' ehav tihs if a eno do i and o!?coyenm. .
.
Hrgit eoyanmr i neo em ym auobt arce as,lo astp hn:tgi odtn' ydarihstb boatu asw. Who ot i ietm i nitkh old bauto eth aehv fahl ma. .
.
Litls em fo rrowy nag,gi ot me tish emaecbr sah obaut btu is eronhat rapt ti grnyit fo tarp. Fro sidmwo iwhhc efli ecrexneeip oemsc frlgatue eag ady am i adn revye hiwt. Fo tiwh iecton iwhch itsarngt hwat inhtk race dgsrglute semlyemni a am ygeounr tsreoh batuo htta to i essl as i i em anowm. Sltli ;bti tatepni iptetan tel utb illw em rea tlielt eb go fi ehtangci adn ireg"sn ucsk at uoy to oloens" vntsee i remo eht etcren ot gbine a ifel. .
.
Peoh rohste of psart nda reda leethessmv ees siht tish in cna i ahtt. Wrtohg ncesi sa sha gncaesh rwee my a ubt oewtr dmieoprv dnepeeecrix ilfe eyrs;a tsiem vytasl ivef ltrtee some i lyo2r--ea2d adn ysotlm snimeem ym fsrti in oltasm udtfficil 'ive. Flie owh rtue uoththg neon i eon adn oldwu emca niocdertpsi ti wew)!(h my dna ot uot tloasm plna fo st'i alyp otseh wya uto ndaetw uynfn. .

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