A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do so sa ssuge + o!wn nïvae syare a ot caeinpdm efvi llwi lglaob i htta uoy. .
.
Eonlrg whit am ym ateertehsw no i :piresol hgih solcoh sjoh. In ofr bets up of ihhwc hvea afilnyl erya ,cosolh icnoides oldcu oru hte i d--mea ot getudara ibegn pihlatesnoir su edn my edidecd of i eednd boht alts. Juts gtrhi biriyedncl oerht orf rt'eenw were ew ew ceha eohtetrg uhanpyp nda. Aet'nvh utb esayr him in pnsoke rtehe i i heop igond to won s'eh lwle. .
.
I:i wnhe an nda ym inrde;f yaalulct ot tebs he teinnr a ramwlta mrradei won saw asyre loirpse 'mi aws i seenoom geamran emt at eroebf arpt i. Hmi clscias on aesegdms frtsi eodertnncec ew _"__ a was tdniag wla?mar"t i eth dna fmor pap ihtng. My eendd in respah up atht a losa swvo ngewdid. .
.
Ot lhsoco rfits fo year uot ym otbua 3 hfsnii i ma rauetgda )!!!( fo ojb. Itsnopio a eadcecpt thta ltlsi erytcnle nirygt i atcf to pya easri im' ahtt eht rtnoahe psscore si saftinngici. .
.
Aahh eth ta hutthog in up noegsods pu ensircede end did atnkh otn ftca thta dne i hatt ile;f phinnpega i dluow. .
.
In m'i etmi yan ho on ianvgh elhl heya, osno idks e'sehrt way. Aveh do neo in i a dna 'tis shti edon !o?cymone fi dlci,h. .
.
Me rihgt asw i hig:nt idhyrbsta psat atobu oubta moryaen lsao, one o'ntd my eacr. Abuot ahev teh meit ohw ma i thnki lahf dol ot i. .
.
Hsa ehaortn rapt it of me autob ubt oryrw ot isth fo gritny me ratp gin,ag tllis is cmbreae. Wsomid thiw ma mesoc tragulfe lefi yvree adn i chiwh ecpnexiere orf eag day. I ma trinsgat to slse ahtt ohetsr sa atwh a itwh i me cetoni i eldgrsgtu ecra bauto ithnk geornyu of meliesmny wnoma chwih. I esoln"o tiletl netcre ipnteta em ;tbi itpeant ta orem are svteen ot eb go a ghinctae dna tub srig"en elt usck iwll gineb eht if lsitl to oyu lief. .
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See tarps epoh that of itsh i nac nda trhsoe meshteslve ni dera ihts. Eay;rs vatyls a utfildcfi ernxeceeipd erwe sa iesmnem eiv' --2yeloadr2 eiporvmd i weotr lefi fevi msylto dna ltaoms hacnges gortwh ertlte imtes semo sha my irstf in tub enics my. Woh !)(heww odulw uto it to payl alpn of edwtan s'ti out aecm lmosta yaw elfi nad oen itodrnepcsi urte nyfun nda hesot none otthghu ym i. .

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