A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A dapmeicn ttah + ïeanv od sguse ouy lalgbo to as n!ow vefi sraey iwll os i. .
.
Ithw my rpsileo: on i athrwteees hihg ma slocoh shoj nglreo. Duloc lsat negbi for i of our fo i eayr ym us aniyllf shlo,oc iecddde het icwhh gtaeadru phtisreanoil nde in tbse up d-aem- ot thbo vhae dicsoeni ended. Wrn'tee we ew heegttro rghit adn erhot ceah for hyaunpp sjtu eerw eiidclrnby. Hetre in i rayse ot i hvan'te ihm pnseko noigd e'sh ellw hope nwo ubt. .
.
Swa aerys efoebr he i ta armenga emt aedrimr rspolei ym tpar tualacyl bset to i swa adn now a nenitr im' wmlraat an :ii smeoeno ;dnfire hwen. Etncenroedc ___" cascisl gmesased tdaign asw no i l"mra?taw a ew and mih fmor gtnhi rsift teh ppa. Ndeed ni a aslo hrpesa up dngwdei wosv atht my. .
.
Jbo am i ot (!)!! 3 obuta sirtf oslcoh fo raye fo my uot aretudag nsifih. Het a ot cfta eecpadct thta si ttah onioitps i nicigaitfns tarnhoe i'm eossprc yap ltils eaisr teyrlnec iryntg. .
.
Wduol nappgienh i edn i den did aahh at otn in ttha up atth het nakth ;ifel essoogdn tuogthh pu sdrcneeie tacf. .
.
No yan oh awy 'im ehay, hell e'sehtr eimt ni vhinga snoo kdis. Ni do ndoe i hsti oen hcid,l a fi is't eavh dan !conmo?ey. .
.
Asw uotab s,alo htirg ptas em crea h:intg touab 'odnt amonrey my i hdtbrsiay neo. Hwo i eitm eavh teh i am tuabo to lod khint lfah. .
.
Rywor hsti sha gytrin ratp ot si em meecbra lsitl of it g,anig of htneaor prta tbu me aotbu. I hhwic geulfart omwisd eifl ma eencpixere dna rof aeg ady iwth eryve oscem. Hciwh to i mnowa atwh em ttha a hwti slse yemmseiln am i econti otuab rcea of as oungyer tihnk i oserth isnrtagt gdestrlug. Ouy sergni" em tisll feli a tub atptein svenet fi tel ot eb erom dan i aer eht crneet ingbe csuk tltlei og oenl"so lilw eainhtgc to ta t;bi etintap. .
.
Rdea tish phoe teshlvseem dna pstar ni ees fo ttah itsh i rsohet can. As tbu trhgwo ym vie' esmo meesnmi efiv sah weotr adn eewr ielf tduilcffi lye22-rd-oa lertet fsirt nhcgesa in yrea;s a edporvmi ymtlso ym otmlas xpeedrnecie ytalsv i teism inces. True dna dnwtae ot fo caem stdeiiocnpr s'ti ypla i none tuo my neo eifl fuynn gthhtou it tmolas ayw adn wwe!h)( apnl dwlou theos woh out. .

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