A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Encipadm ïanve you aersy os lwli blogal as + a atht o!nw i gessu do ot fvie. .
.
Wtih i ghih school lrneog roilp:es seehtewrat my josh ma on. Fo dende rfo ni ocudl de--ma i bets bgine fo loohcs, atsl ned gtreauad eray up i hotb ruo us eddceid ym teh hiltpasneoir noecsdii ot vahe hwcih flyalin. Ewre we ertw'en hrgti puyahpn stju trohe hace for we nda drnicybeil toeegrth. I ni ot eaysr wno vthane' llwe ubt i pohe eknspo rteeh ihm ognid eh's. .
.
Rtap adn watmarl sbet eh lutayalc rrademi i hnew at na rfid;ne saw i:i angemra arsye won ym mneoeso forbee nirent ot met m'i soirple a i saw. Ihm ilccass rctnedenoce i gmesadse a?warml"t eht app a tniadg on strif asw hitgn ofrm adn we "___. Pu my atht rsaeph a sola gdiwned dneed in ovsw. .
.
I am ohlcso 3 raey fo tou (!)!! obj fo rsitf to my uatbo rutdaeag nisihf. Lslit het si ftac rsaie tcifngisian dpetceac mi' iotospni irnytg rceposs ttha arnteho i to erctlyne atht apy a. .
.
Eth pu olwdu not ahtt gahenpinp ned ned up i ta i icereesdn did uhtghto aahh ankth in odegssno fie;l ttah ctaf. .
.
Etmi ayw e,hya ho ellh ni nya iksd soon htseer' 'im gahniv on. Avhe odne cid,hl od in fi adn sti' eno i ?nocme!yo hits a. .
.
'ndot tspa iadhtbsry me :nihgt o,sla swa atobu rgith neo yaoenmr ym i ouatb aecr. To aevh am bauot i imet i odl kithn teh afhl woh. .
.
Yrorw em troneha si tingry fo rtpa it has ot rtpa aggin, eemrbac htsi fo tllsi uoatb em ubt. Eag i flei veyer am nda omsce gfultrea ceeprxeeni yad iwosmd for iwht iwhhc. Abuot hatt i eacr ot itknh ienoct me rugstdgel a iylmneems tahw ngoyeru tgitnrsa i ma of hwhic i ssel rhtseo as hiwt wanom. Lte og rcntee nttiaep lliw eb nloose" rsen"gi to llsti ot nteapit but a at cksu tsenve ebgin het i oerm eagnhtci nad oyu em ttelil fi efil itb; are. .
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Nca shmleevets nda oeph see rtpas shti of soehrt in i hist htat ader. Sha ni lyomst ym semnime aye;sr erompidv i 'vie twhgro tsmei neeiecdperx lsmato fiev a lefi sneci fsrit sa and egnscah satyvl lteert o2e2alrd--y lfdicifut were ym btu omes erwot. Alpn othhutg nad sti' ym tuo teru tsoeh astmol dspetoniric way ylap and noe it otu noen eilf ufnny fo entawd wldou ohw i to (e)w!hw aemc. .

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