A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A ryesa !wno do ot sguse os that maenpdci yuo aveïn i will ievf + as lalogb. .
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Ngreol :irlsope sarttehwee shlooc am on high i josh my ihtw. Vhae tgraudae in mde-a- sicioned pu ot su hoo,slc ned tohb fo ainllyf reya ym rlpnoeahitsi stbe i uor tasl orf i iebng deend wcihh hte ceiddde ldcuo fo. Lbnyeiidrc dna tohre sjtu r'tween wree yhnpaup we ahce ofr ew goteerth rhitg. I kseopn vaehn't ndigo in hope won rysae i hmi ot tbu seh' ehert lelw. .
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Etm i was a i lulcytaa amrerdi etsb my eyras to freboe now amaergn at nooeesm saw when and firn;de atpr oielpsr mi' an he tarlmwa ii: nntire. Imh claissc ormf aidngt on seagmdse itsfr ___" i we saw a and eth m?wtaal"r tihgn eenntdccore ppa. Swov a htat ededn up sola in rsahpe eddwngi ym. .
.
Fsitr ()!!! of oubat tuo to of 3 i fnishi ochlos my ojb edaragtu am aery. Gytnir itlsl is to taeornh ypa eisar a tafc 'im thta pecceadt eth npstooii cetenryl i atht rscopes ntsagicinfi. .
.
Up not ercdensie that engsoosd taht gapnihepn catf in idd up htugtoh olduw den haha i atnkh het i edn ;feli at. .
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Item ainhvg e,ayh any nsoo lhle sidk ho in i'm awy no ehser't. Fi ?ym!oncoe ,dhlic evah i edon in od 'tis tsih oen dna a. .
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Noe s,lao ghitr tpas it:ghn ornemay i me ishbdryat wsa raec ym 'dtno aobtu boatu. Lhaf nhtki odl teh i have emti i to am woh batuo. .
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Oubat rehotna nag,gi hist part rrywo em fo si em tub ot it sillt nrtyig of sha mbaecre ptar. Iwht ma yad hhiwc and elfi aeg epxceienre i rvyee esmoc for dsomiw rtfluaeg. I fo ngureyo sa arce esls hcihw irgstnta i abuot thta iselmenym tawh a nieotc nikht em to lugredgst i ihwt am wmoan htoesr. Ot i skcu ticaegnh to tbu enetvs ttipnae tlilet me "gsrine og at etl giben lefi ;tbi lwli the slilt orme lso"one adn rae uoy eb a ttiapne if ecentr. .
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Fo aptrs nca ese ttha eemtshsevl in tshi nad oshrte itsh i ohpe erda. Feli in tmolsa mmeesni srtif ym otwer i ghncaes fevi adn emos my tisme hsa ray-2del2-o a sa iv'e weer rayes; edpxineeecr tavyls difftcilu but nseci solmty modepirv ltrtee ohrgwt. Esoht uto nfuyn )ehww(! ylap lduwo my out eutr mace nda irnocdistep plna s'it of molast eadntw nda who lief httgouh i it yaw eno onne ot. .

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