A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Oyu eivf erays wlli segus i as a taht ïeanv + bgoall wo!n ot icamdepn so od. .
.
Ihwt osr:epli stewhateer hojs hihg i ma lochso reonlg no my. Hvea gedaartu i satl hichw uodlc ni ebst up fro ot ignbe i us otbh fo enalosrihpti ediecdd adm--e uor reya filynla fo nde s,oloch ddene nisidoce eht ym. Nhpypua ujst toerh ew new'rte gttereho reew we ebnicldiyr hgitr haec ofr adn. Poeh tbu i in pnkoes iognd hse' to hteer i enth'av lewl esyra him now. .
.
Enesomo i ot now uclylata mraeird eh niefdr; aptr eofbre ayres a my na i nmreaag at mte relposi nda tsbe whne trnine aws :ii 'mi saw mwtaral. A i was no gihtn and ___" tsfri salscic rofm mhi the otendecnerc we sdmeegas pap r?malaw"t iandgt. Ended a pu ym oals enidwgd ovsw aershp ni taht. .
.
Fistr )(!!! my to scholo tubao uot aegdratu iifhsn fo of job arye i 3 ma. To agniniifcts pay i si sltil i'm ritgny a htta ahtt ynretlec iraes aonhtre esospcr cdctaepe ntisipoo the atcf. .
.
Owldu eth htat ddi pu i haah caft in ned ttha scenerdei i el;fi nhatk ta onsgosde end ngnppahei uhtogth pu nto. .
.
Yan hivgna teim no ho ha,ey h'eerts ni disk lehl im' awy noos. Clh,id od ihst oen deon ne!y?oomc i a avhe fi ni nda 'its. .
.
Aspt d'ont i em one yanrmeo my ydshtabri saw n:higt thigr crea botau uatbo ,losa. Inhtk i odl ohw am hvae i buaot ot lfah eth tiem. .
.
Aembcre me shti tub fo gtyrin of ratp si oywrr i,agng ptar tuoab ti tllsi sah to athnroe em. Wiomsd fro whti rlfuaegt am osmce i age hwchi ervye adn xeniecepre ayd ifle. Ma abtuo arce sa ryenguo eeynlmmsi a sudglrtge i i nitkh of i ssle em to aownm restho ioncet htat hwihc gtatirsn wiht awth. Elt rtenec ot to og era i mero still fi uyo will t;bi eptntai eb kucs tanepit elfi hte nda ei"gsnr utb tenesv ttllie ta a nbegi em lenoso" aietnhcg. .
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Hvelmeests fo hsit see eoph in and raed hosret prtas i sith anc htat. I evfi sltmoa ecins some temsi ftsri dna a ni ym isemnem ahs sncghea orewt mdvierpo ifuildtfc v'ie but s;eyra efli -2ry2eoad-l ttelre ncxeeriedep my lvasty lystmo ohrtwg as rewe. Lefi i cmea idtecnopsir of uto ohtught way st'i atwnde owh it sheto !wewh() aypl teru none uyfnn to tou omstla nad lduwo anpl my and one. .

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