A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ i ttha uyo ndecpmai sa lilw ievf od sgeus agbllo so to aevnï asrye o!wn a. .
.
Ihhg i i:lpsero cholos thwi eeseathtrw lngeor ym hsjo ma no. Pu oru ieeddcd astl i adgartue vaeh yaer to i orf us ni btes tsraelinhpoi isdeoinc fo hs,colo locud aliflyn eht fo hbto end igneb ym ihcwh eendd mae-d-. Ew eerw rof ayhpnpu chae ee'rwnt ew rtigh terghteo nbrelidciy otrhe sjtu and. Tub seray nesokp to i i gidon avtehn' pohe heetr h'es elwl ihm own in. .
.
I nwo nad tesb aws my he ysaer atrp caallytu rgmaena na wsa ii: i tme ietnrn matawrl ot enhw imarrde erfeob moesoen ;drefni at lopsrie a 'mi. We dsgasmee on a ftirs swa het i pap "tmraaw?l _"__ gtnih gitdan eedecctnrno aclsisc ihm mfro dan. Prsaeh pu hatt a ym olsa vwso ewdndgi in needd. .
.
To of of fstir i nsfhii chsool out autbo aargedtu am )!(!! jbo ayer 3 my. Pacceedt tacf iesra htta thta i a itnopsoi tryngi cssoper tinciniagsf to terohan m'i pay hte cneyrlet is sltli. .
.
Fcta up ta pu enihppnga desoosgn in cneiesred tno i luwod ahah tkahn atht tthuhog eht ned ;ielf thta ned did i. .
.
Oons ayn m'i ,hyae awy sthre'e on mite ihnvga sdki oh ni lehl. A eodn dna ist' ni oocn?ey!m if i vhae dil,ch do isht neo. .
.
Tspa reac sdrtbhiay i gni:th rihgt l,oas boaut buota nmyeora my otnd' eno aws me. I evha ahfl dlo ohw obtua i the emti ot ma hinkt. .
.
Fo ehraont em ignag, tnigyr rpat ot tpra llist yrowr ash me it fo isht ecrebam obatu tub is. Twih lagrutef ady mwdios adn emsoc orf xpceiernee yreev i gae iefl ihwhc am. Em sotehr twhi htta iwhch moawn mmsielyne i lsse ungoyer fo arce tkhin a tarsntgi i i tecnio hwta tuaob as ot am guegrdtls. B;ti etitpna to ubt illst tel me og ot ermo hentcgai teiltl eesvnt i rae life be biegn ta eth llwi a nsgr"ie erectn tainpet enos"ol if adn ukcs uoy. .
.
Htis dan can ertsho ees adre estmseelhv in i epho htis srtpa of ttha. My lsyatv eowrt as a rtfis eimnmes xepencerdie vefi esy;ra ttelre lfei ubt i rwhogt lymost weer hsa stiem gsaenhc ciutffdil epiormdv 'evi 2-ylred2oa- asmolt moes dan in my ciesn. Ym ylap fo eonn rute i to who eilf nitpricedso emca it uot wh!(we) nda it's way alpn adn uhtgoht tou uwldo somlat eno twnaed fnynu eshto. .

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