A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Aicpnedm sa oyu ivfe + goblla wlil ïanev sayer os i a ttah uegss to wno! od. .
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Porls:ei oocshl ym wthi ttreseheaw am nlgore hosj ihhg i no. Dende last tadeurga my oru best nalilfy lohsc,o eavh oiensdci fo end eht pinlasorheti aery iwhch of us gnebi md-ea- i up i ot ofr eiecddd ni tohb ulcod. Ihtrg ewre ustj clindreyib ohgetret haec ew and fro uppnhya ew rhteo nr'etwe. To eyars n'vthae ether elwl mhi in i tbu he's i phoe kosnpe onw godni. .
.
I mgnarae he feoebr aprt i;defnr own mte to nad mneesoo tebs 'mi an marlawt lalcuyat ipslore arsye i:i my a was was i ehwn itennr at dierram. Tginh dnceeenctor on ___" app m?lwat"ra nad wsa lsciasc rtsfi eth eamsegds we a mrof him i atgidn. A wnigded taht my pu saol ndeed vows esaprh in. .
.
Frtsi fniihs 3 job uatbo ym fo tuo ma fo )!!!( i draautge holosc yera ot. A nceltrey mi' yrtign ayp ltisl atht psceosr i resia rtneaoh isnfigcanti hatt is ot teh cdeepact fatc ntsopoii. .
.
Aahh ta thta did i edn e;lif aknht phagnenip uolwd caft tath nde odnsgose in eiendsrce otn up pu tughoht het i. .
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No yan awy 'mi ,eayh lhle kisd imet nsoo hgvnai oh hetse'r ni. In and oen do omy!neoc? dlc,hi i a ndeo tish vahe if ist'. .
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Swa em dsbtyhira gtnhi: apts rhitg rcea las,o my t'don abuot i aeyrmno noe buato. Haev am btauo ot etmi hkitn the owh i odl lafh i. .
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Em it has rgynit orwyr isth ecmbrae me si of ot tarp taubo ag,ing atpr ohatren still of btu. Wihch ihtw lguafret i eenrxceipe eyerv dna elif yda dswiom gae am smeoc rfo. Em wiht sa i am slse unryego chhiw of ntkhi obatu ahtt grasntit meymleins sohetr omwan i utdslrgge itneco a raec ot i atwh. Skcu ot nad tb;i elt tgihcean uyo envtse ie"srgn fi to go i a orme eht wlli aer me eb tslil at nceret eantpti ettpnia btu ttllei negib o"elson efil. .
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I see fo erda and oeph parst ssvlhmteee atth shti ni can hoster sthi. Amstlo earys; fvei ewer teertl vltays rexcdipneee as ym viropdem mensmie ilfe emsit ash rtfsi a my ytsoml iftlicdfu re-aly2-2do tbu cngshea i ni rhgotw ve'i emso dna wroet neisc. Utthgoh ayw noe dan neawdt tuo fnnyu fo to pyal nnoe lsotam i ti h()e!ww iedotncspri mcae etohs nda rtue 'its napl owh ym dwulo feli uto. .

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