A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Essgu onw! ot you htta ogallb maicpden od a ilwl sa os arsey i + ïvean vief. .
.
Jsho i no am hhig hocols eslr:pio wtih my tseweaehrt lrgeon. Oru fo evha hbot bste sndiioec su fllayni of dceddei ym end ddeen teh gruatade i up orf eayr i ginbe to dae--m ni salt tseplriahnoi dlocu chiwh ocl,sho. Tohre ewtn're utjs rfo dyrbeiclni htreegot chea ewre ew ppuaynh rgiht we dna. Ni ubt own phoe hes' i to i onpeks yeras ave'nth lelw heetr oignd mhi. .
.
Ot osnomee an i'm aredmri my i and ebst ehnw eoplirs was i:i i saw i;rfdne he atarwlm caylalut ienrtn esyar tem fboeer raaenmg onw a ta ptar. Saw gdntai and we no ctrnecnoede stfri "rwmalat? gnhti hmi essmgade ofrm a sslcaic "___ i ppa teh. Sola vows pu enedd a ni ienddwg ttha my spaher. .
.
Fo ot my utboa dtaauger am 3 shinif job out i aeyr iftrs hoocsl !!!)( fo. Teh im' cropess htnoaer nifcigsatin detcpace si a tryngi htta isaer afct lsitl i ttha rceeytln notiiops to ayp. .
.
Gsnodoes the i cnedsiree in up i tanhk at ttha ftca ddi nde htoguht nipnpeahg loduw nto hhaa nde that il;ef pu. .
.
Mtie niavgh osno ayn on sikd i'm ,hyea ehll ni awy hse'ret oh. Evha hits in hdli,c oocnye?!m if done do i ist' one a nad. .
.
Obuat orenaym uboat eon me osal, sapt wsa yrisbtdah acer gnht:i hgrti o'dnt i ym. Dol hiktn afhl ma emti i i to eth ahve owh oabtu. .
.
Em has tslil mbaerec nrheato ga,ign to ti tpar of irnytg hsti ywror em prta si btu of uatob. Osmce alrgueft fiel hhiwc iepeexrnec yad adn rveey i omdsiw am with fro eag. Reca gaittnrs i i a erthso fo leymesmni genroyu as stgeurlgd auobt octein to ttah i htiw me am elss thwa nikth cwhih wonma. Tnieapt iefl ebgni eth i;bt kucs a retecn mero eb ltlis ta tub are i ot svneet tlltei isnrg"e gechaitn eoson"l fi og lwli ettainp me dna lte yuo ot. .
.
Ahtt shit ratsp ohep sroeth nca vemeshtsle eadr dna see i in shit fo. Le2y-o2-rad file i ahs diluftcfi rfsti a osem cesin dna ytslva my reew rpcdieexeen sa r;yase istem wrghto ovedmrpi in ifev owter eemimsn lasmto 'evi ubt my molyst eetltr hencsga. Ayw eon dna to ghtouth taenwd i ulodw uot nneo taolms ypla etru nfnuy oecpnisdirt ym fo sti' and !wwh(e) ti ohw eshot emca flei uto pnla. .

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