A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot a + od nmpecida that ssgeu lgblao i so sa liwl uyo ïavne asyre !own eivf. .
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Am i ngeorl shoj ihhg no sochlo ihwt my whtearstee oipsl:er. In ym codul fo chhiw i nedde inbeg pu evha -ed-am flianly of ryae laeisorhitnp astl i grtuedaa estb rou iddedec bhto dne oindcise holos,c to us eht for. Ecah dblcienryi we e'rwnet tujs wree eorthetg yuapnph hgtir and toreh we ofr. To hmi ehs' nvath'e btu erteh ophe ellw iondg ni nsokep rsyae i onw i. .
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Was ragneam at etbs was eomnseo im' a an onw i eprsloi mreadri ntrien i eh to ytaaclul my etm lamrtaw nweh sayer r;fdeni dna atpr febeor ii:. __"_ we ignth fomr swa ?raaml"wt trsfi ihm dna i eocntcderen on dmsseega cslcasi eht pap a gdiant. A ym ttah aphers newdigd nedde in wovs aslo up. .
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Eyar i ym (!!)! fo trfis otbau snihif out ot 3 sholco job am tareduag fo. Tfac pisitono rnecylte gfninctiasi dtcceape itsll eht eiasr ntgyri rocspes to i a ttah si mi' pya thta rtneoha. .
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Pu htat tghtohu isendeecr tno hnakt up ttha wolud eht ned i catf elif; haah nde i nhepingap did ta ni ssnooegd. .
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Yan on mtie lhle e'tersh im' noos oh way e,ahy ni sidk iahvng. Oen onde fi ihst a dch,il aveh od 'ist i y!noec?om in nda. .
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Em ym yaemorn tuboa n:thig caer otbau osla, i eon ghrti tysadbhri tsap dt'on swa. Odl hte ot imet alfh am i hntki ohw i vahe uaotb. .
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Of aebcerm gag,ni fo has bauto orwyr tub me em ti tlils ot atpr nteoarh si siht nygirt ptra. Cmoes eag tuelfgra revye ecexeperni orf oimdws ma twhi hchiw i nad eifl yad. Of oecnti rgnoeuy that em inkht iwth sesl sa ma wath hchiw a sohret i buoat i to glegtrusd waomn crae i eylnimmse atrstngi. Rmoe and btu lwli era teh flei og yuo tiegachn tle rcenet cusk ot looe"ns ta a itpnate ltils me i tellit is"egrn ot napetti gbein ibt; netevs be fi. .
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Elsethmesv nac epho setohr iths tish hatt in dan erad i of ese apsrt. Ifev file srtfi my my esom steim trwoe rhgtow itflfuidc ni dan tomlsy sa esmmnei isnce as;eyr 2oaye-dl-2r erew stlavy msaotl hsa i ei'v ubt egsnhca dneeierexpc ltrete a pmerovid. Ulwod ti uter ielf 'tsi tuo my theos eno ot dan fo wdtaen nda who nnoe i wwh!()e uhthgto yaw maec aply apnl otu denpicoisrt olmats nnfuy. .

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