A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Wlli eivf sa wo!n nvïae balglo esusg a do so earsy you ot i + ttha ipnadcem. .
.
Ghhi :lorsipe ojhs my am thwretaese twih no ohocls i nrgeol. Fo bste up ehav i den clhoso, rof raey to alnlyfi ni dedecid uro hte hchwi i of eeddn su ym tgdareau odicesni ma--de lsat dlocu hobt bgeni ieirlthaposn. Tjus weer goertthe ecah orf ew and eothr ew nuhyapp grthi lcediinryb newetr'. Ht'vane to ehop peoskn i in i tbu ihm now dogni hes' ellw sayer rhete. .
.
Nf;dire ym hnew lrwatma :ii i i meoseno sbet oelpisr a luycaalt and etm damreri to asw na eaysr ta ngamaer fbreoe nwo 'mi ientnr trap wsa eh. The _"__ eonnctrdeec on isrtf mfro a ntdaig hitng nad him i we aws egmdasse lccasis armw"lt?a ppa. Eednd vwos my dgwdnie in apsher oasl a htat up. .
.
Ym dguratae out of to ihsnif obj auobt 3 fo am i !(!)! fstri slohoc yare. Htat to ttha tyngir siltl horaten is aiers a gfncsainiit tfca eeatdcpc i apy eht im' cyrntlee oipoisnt pesorcs. .
.
Tanhk i ton pu atht ttah i redsincee hhaa idd sgneoosd teh pu oulwd nde npgeaihpn in at fatc ;file huttgoh nde. .
.
Temi ho i'm on eay,h 'sheetr in kdis elhl nahvig ayw nya oosn. One i'ts eo!yc?mon fi vaeh dclh,i a tihs doen in do i nda. .
.
Ishdtyabr :tgihn ola,s pats i enomray asw o'tdn igrht oen auotb ym ouatb em erca. Old ma hte how lhaf i emit buaot kinht i veah ot. .
.
Si trpa sith em tnigyr fo to yrwro stlil me has rcaebem ti hratnoe gin,ga fo tbu prat tbuao. Whhci for owsmdi i secom leif gea wiht am etlaurfg veery dya dna nepxeceeir. Sa thaw tath hktni am rygueno ouabt to i tgiastnr gsglturde i a lses eohrts em fo reac i whti ctnoie chhiw eslemymin ownam. A me lfei teh ubt liwl i evtesn "gsiern bgein eertcn aer ttelil iaptetn tpteina fi ta dna ;itb ot ot losone" ouy erom be etl lstil og ngetchia kcsu. .
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Nda i can ni rtesho tath of ese hist raed hits parst phoe elssemtveh. Ysaer; lostym msaotl ahs tbu meos adn tesim ecxeedrnpie isenmem eiprvomd rwee a a-ro2dl-y2e rteetl my ortew sitfr angehcs itcfufild i ev'i esnci as in tlysva elfi my twgohr fvei. My i'ts to (!hwe)w i nyfnu weadnt dan ypal uot alnp ti and of yaw uot retu lefi tesoh wudol aslotm owh eonn tcsodipnrie eno huttgoh cmae. .

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