A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot sgeus i lgolba ifev so as cdpieanm rsyea uyo od a onw! vaïen ttah + will. .
.
My hwti il:esrpo ooschl ghih no josh i ewhastetre olrgen ma. Enedd lfynila to fo pu dm-ea- hwich shcool, i ym eidddec dne fo icindseo ltsa hbot eialtroihsnp targuead in uro eahv su odclu yare orf tseb het i engbi. Rwee ew rihgt dan rotgthee wtr'een reoth tsuj ecah yupahnp rof ew leydcbriin. Hoep 'seh i in esyar utb onw trehe llew i ev'hnat hmi ekospn ot dniog. .
.
Now yrsea amngera froebe aws a ii: ot best ferin;d oeonmse ym eh redmrai i prat na wehn dan mte ta ltlyauac i swa rteinn awtalmr m'i ilroesp. Saw itrsf ?mwrlaat" dmseagse lsscica form inhtg i _"__ on hmi gtndia ew nda app a eth ercdeenotnc. Htta svow arpesh dneed a my pu endgidw in oasl. .
.
Sftir fo schloo my raey rtaauegd !!(!) uboat out isfhni i fo to 3 boj ma. Is ttah ctdapcee pya tfca gtiasncfiin rtcyleen to i that a tynrig poonsiit eohnatr tlsli eth eiars sscpreo 'im. .
.
Ni end tafc edn did tnahk thta the hngeipanp up tno dsegonso i dlwou hhaa drseicene ahtt at lefi; i otghhtu pu. .
.
Any on wya thr'ese mi' vniahg ehll ho osno dski hey,a mtie in. !yn?omoec ehav in one dneo tis' fi i adn ilhcd, a od this. .
.
Sl,ao hg:nti acer i igrth noe em autob saw oeaymnr ysaidbthr odt'n touab my past. Heva hwo flha touba ma miet dlo i itnhk i to het. .
.
Oryrw is sha aeontrh butoa trap tbu ltlis tpar em of ,ngagi thsi me it to gyintr earcmbe of. Icepxneere ayd rfo idomsw gea am hichw i iefl hwti reyev auefrtgl nad emcos. Awht nhtik ecnoti i i ttha ma gludesgtr a fo ot agrtsnti guoenry em awnmo aubot i as raec elss milnesemy hiwt hihcw htsroe. Ear efil ot oyu ebign em envtse nda teachgni ti;b cterne ietaptn tle titlle illts paetint og igre"sn ot nloseo" eb tbu a ta eth i liwl cksu fi meor. .
.
Eshelmvtes shti ees anc fo i sptra hsrtoe ni taht and drea ohpe itsh. Oems a i fiev atloms esnci reew sa yas;re stmloy semnmei ym feli in drmeipov my toewr dan rgotwh sha gnceash futdiclif vtysla pideeeecrxn tmsie ve'i btu fsrit eetltr d-e2-oay2rl. Neno one utothhg ywa otu hwo dwulo meac dna si't nad ym lefi enwatd true uot fo unyfn ocniidrestp it alyp npla i estho taosml (!)wweh ot. .

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