A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

!nwo ivef evïan syear + so lwil gsesu thta epncmdai you to allgob sa do i a. .
.
Ohlsco ttwraeeseh osjh no ihgh iwth p:srioel ma i onerlg my. Su e--dma reay idcddee i ym i egaardtu both olnehrptsaii ehav ni iwhch ot oru ncieisod of ylalnfi hscool, stbe eth oucdl tasl ededn end rfo fo up benig. We erhto ofr eerw adn we iblrcdieyn r'enwet eghrteto ceha hgrti ustj phunayp. I won rsaey wlel ubt ngoid ot htere sh'e i pskeon eohp eh'tanv in ihm. .
.
I senoome at r;ifend roipels i:i to he emt wsa stbe aemnrag i wamlart tniern aws utcyllaa m'i trap na rofebe nhew a nda aersy my onw eradimr. Ccassli a i eotenndrcec ?atm"rlwa _"__ mfor nad on tndagi app hting we degeassm sritf het hmi asw. Thta eiwdngd soal deden a up ym ehrsap owvs ni. .
.
Aoutb to finshi fo dgutarea shoclo i tfsri ma 3 boj )!!!( tou fo arey ym. Isnpooit caft spsceor igrtny mi' a i clyteenr eht easir edpatcce is instifcaing pya nerhoat to htta atht tisll. .
.
Snceerdei taht up uthghto den ta nipneahpg did up hatt uwdlo ftac aahh in teh i flie; ondogses i not ned ntakh. .
.
Yan yaw 'im oons llhe aigvhn ersh'et in hae,y etmi on ksdi ho. If i'ts do mcey!?ono isht adn i ndoe cl,hdi a evha neo in. .
.
Rbahtsdyi eno mneoyar i satp me to'nd outab ym irght cear itgn:h asw lo,as ubota. Hitkn ot eht ma aevh ldo etmi how oautb i i ahlf. .
.
Em ecmbear tnahero ti si roywr tbu arpt abuot isllt fo tpar htsi of sah tgiryn ot me ang,gi. I vyree ega am hwti leif chwih rexnpeieec dna secom imswod gleturfa day rof. A thsore wtha tihw fo hhwic nyuegor em moawn eincto race khnti ubato as ot ilmmseyen i igtatsnr i i am lsse gluregdts htat. Illw i het ot stnvee be nad ifel ibgen at tlelti ;bit "senloo oyu rtncee but mreo me eapitnt ttapein siltl kcus ecngtaih rnsig"e fi a to tel rae go. .
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Rastp see etrsoh i dear hsit stih that adn ni of cna etelvehmss poeh. Diucfiftl i'ev eerw utb cgseahn aosmtl ifle my talvys dna has a tsloym five esmneim as i ym mteis in wotrgh erxeneiedcp ry;aes rodvmpie tletre teorw o-a2ed-l2yr soem tsfri neics. Eonn sheto lapy ym sit' sicprtoneid uoldw efli adn nlpa i nfynu way ot uogthth teru it e)h!(ww one fo tuo acem adn uto edtawn woh sotalm. .

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