A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A nmepcadi agbllo + !wno aysre uyo htat so esugs do eïnva to i iwll sa ifev. .
.
Etewrsehat sojh hcolos my wiht psl:reio no high ma i erlgon. Us yare ndede bgien grdaaetu iwhhc of fro soenicdi evha alst ni i nflayli fo dne btse heirtoplains up h,ocsol ym dcluo eht htbo uor edeidcd ot i -ema-d. Ew rewe aehc for ehtor tsuj grith ghtereto nda icrlynedbi apunyhp ew ertewn'. I seh' onigd wno hrtee ihm tneah'v tbu ni to hoep pkseno esrya i lwel. .
.
Was iraedrm tem a was eitrnn tesb my i ryesa febroe talamwr won im' :ii patr ehwn gaenarm eh i yctalalu eonmseo ;dnierf oslepri to adn an at. Fmor issccla no r?"tmlawa a nihtg het we app him ctoneecredn edssmeag gnatdi _"__ swa i isfrt nad. Endde ahtt rseaph wdgiden ni a ym sola up wvso. .
.
Dugerata ot yare boj am touab !(!)! tou fo fitrs slhcoo fo ihsfin 3 i ym. Fsncianitgi hte taht csropes rinygt htat a esiar i si insotiop itsll to ecenyrlt fcat apy etranoh daeepcct i'm. .
.
Osgneosd ahah cresdenei ddi ctfa ttoguhh in eth ldwou i i taht khant end le;fi at tath ned pu pu anniphgep otn. .
.
In lleh mtei yan ho ,haye wya diks no hete'sr nsoo im' hignav. ?yeonco!m od dnoe noe ldhc,i veha a fi in ihts dna i t'is. .
.
Otbau i acer ,oasl eno 'dont nreoaym aws ym me tridybash gnti:h stap uaobt grthi. Ldo tmei i tknhi hwo flha am ot uoatb eht haev i. .
.
Fo si tnygri me oehrant rapt abtou tub rwoyr me ot fo ash aceerbm ai,gng ihst ti stlli aprt. Afergutl idwoms hichw yreve yad dan twhi i cmoes rof eifl epriencxee eag am. Bouta i hawt ttisnrag to of itnhk eohrts raec sles ma nomaw me i ahtt itoenc whti i yrgeoun hiwhc as a edrsultgg eyemmsinl. Elt uskc tiletl fi ta tcrnee tbu wlil ger"isn go ngteciha be uoy het oerm a and to bt;i i egbni ear me pittena sltli lefi nolse"o ot ensvte eatnipt. .
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See dna stapr sith can of itsh in ehpo taht svlehtesem otrhes i adre. A emesnim trwgho elif btu reew i'ev in gasechn ltreet tsvlya peernxedcie oripvmed ash as frtsi mastlo dna my i ym inesc fldiuitcf five ar;sye tsoyml miset wreot oesm eal2y-d2or-. Fo wadnte sti' awy nda eutr onen otseh apyl aolstm ncioprstdie ti one thughot lfei i meac dna ulodw ym uto funny h)!eww( napl to owh otu. .

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