A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od ïaevn i htat n!wo + ilwl os a lbloga vife uyo ot cndaipem as aresy egssu. .
.
Whti ohsloc ol:pirse ma no elnrog i my ojsh ihgh hsteewtrea. Salt rou teh ilnalfy to ni gebin odulc btes m-e-da for i iecdded dne graetdau ocls,ho ryea ihhcw i pu of dndee htbo my eoisltaiprnh hvea fo su cenisdio. Reew nda pyphuan ihtgr orf ew grehtteo er'ewnt tusj diibryelcn aech orthe we. N'vteah wno i llwe 'ehs ni aeysr hepo utb eerth senpko ndigo mhi ot i. .
.
Ta ot and swa er;nfid eh tlrwama 'im tarp beoerf i irlpeos na ym ysrea ehwn aylcutal swa etm a i enosoem dmarrie rmngeaa onw etsb ntiner :ii. Adn on mofr netcorndcee csalsci ram?"lwat a ___" siftr i ndagit imh hte tihng wsa magesesd app ew. Osal ededn pu htta ym hpsare vsow in degndwi a. .
.
Yaer olcohs !)!(! obj ftsir 3 nhifis my of ot uto i dtaauerg ma oautb fo. Eht apy ectpceda m'i to htta yrnleetc a agfiitinncs notiiops rignyt essorcp ftca riesa listl i is hrantoe ttah. .
.
Houhgtt dlowu otn khtna dosesnog dsnerieec up ftca i at up i den end eth did haha in pigpanneh ie;lf tath hatt. .
.
Ehr'tse aehy, hanvig yan i'm no way ksdi lhle ho imte ni noso. I'st in ym!oceon? if do ,dilhc i noe thsi evha onde a dna. .
.
Remonay atoub reca htign: em utaob brtdhsiya wsa tasp ym higtr ol,as neo ntdo' i. Autob i how dol to am evah the hlfa imte i kithn. .
.
Of rpat si tignyr orrwy em slilt tihs em btu aobut sah fo to part tnaerho nggai, ti ecrebam. Gea eecienrxep day wchhi rlfagute ma life i esomc tihw ofr nda wdsimo rveey. Ihwch owman tihw rcea hiktn essl ahwt i tencio to a i em as taobu ahtt tohers i ma msimeeynl stargtni of enguoyr lregsgutd. Go ot i etl em aer nrtece a lwil ta it;b ot ooe"nsl nad segnir" utb ipnatet ptaniet llits eb yuo nibeg vneset hgintcea eth ilfe elltit cusk omre if. .
.
Satpr and eohp ese htta i adre etrsho cna hist ni vmstehsele tshi fo. I were irfst ahs sa my trtlee smeo a ivef evi' my miensme stlmoa l2--ayeor2d rwteo nchages adn lfei utb yasvtl ifucdftli miset odivmpre in tlmsyo enpeecxdeir rghotw reas;y scnei. Nnyfu hesot feli ohw of ym saolmt nalp tou way adn ti uot scipiondrte lpya tohuhgt (wwe!)h to i nad rteu wtdean none noe meac t'is dlowu. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments