A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I no!w as os od to you eifv a + labolg eaïvn endcmpia that sgsue wlli eyars. .
.
Eo:irpsl hslcoo ehattrewse i oshj gelnro my hitw ma ighh no. Of eht deicsnio su aillyfn pu edend htob of ym aeagdrut for i amed-- whhci edicdde gnebi vaeh in os,loch yrea ebts stal rolnpahestii ocudl to i our edn. And nrcbyledii jtus gteeroht hnypaup were hgirt we for ew chea tnw'ree trohe. Npokes to giond lwle i erhte 'eahtnv eyasr hse' i in mih now utb eohp. .
.
Regaamn lluycata i:i irsoepl rfedni; lrmataw tpra i idarerm at i swa nad na sbte hwen ysaer feboer to noeomse tme a m'i ternni he asw my onw. Mhi nereoenccdt i saw a het atgidn ew dna esdgaesm _"__ app rmfo thnig on ilccsas rstif ?"rmwalat. Ni ephars ym olsa wsvo a eddne ddegniw up ttha. .
.
3 osohcl hsfini ym job am i ot aatduegr of tou tbauo srfit !)(!! of eary. Sllit sncitifgian si airse esoscpr taht teh ttah ringty ctylenre i ootipsin hantroe m'i tfca ot a ccpteeda pya. .
.
Pu aahh idd het dne in neeicrdse den i dgooesns uottghh fcat i that htta up ghpeipann odwul hntak ta fiel; ont. .
.
Lhle oh yna kdsi in m'i hsret'e ah,ye gavinh oosn wya no eitm. S'ti vhea fi in tsih dan eon i y!e?cnoom a diclh, edno do. .
.
Eno l,soa tabuo i satp gitn:h td'no uotba irgth ym em shybdtair onmeyar ecar was. Htkin who fhal dlo otaub ot i ma ahev eimt i het. .
.
Ernahot of ,angig it ahs of siltl tapr to isth me uaotb em but erbcmea tygrni si aprt ryowr. Yerev mseoc day ihwt omwids dan etfgulra i ma gea eeexecnirp fiel ihwch fro. Ot srohte hwit fo acre itnhk seyiemmnl i ttah as em wath tedulrgsg mowna yengoru i a less iecotn i obtua tiarstgn hwich am. Atptien etl uoy ;ibt era if reom utb enesvt lliw etncre ginhecat tlsli hte og ttleli lo"seon at to i to eb ibneg iettpna em iefl ucsk and gin"rse a. .
.
Nda ihts see rdea shti ehmstelsev nca atth ptsar i ni fo eoph tohesr. Vstayl eosm yltsmo my toerw ahecsgn tub in itsem erew syr;ea thgrow sa ahs mstalo imordpev a my csnie meiensm -ad-2l2roey efil ritfs veif tterle cedexerpein v'ei nad ftifucidl i. Funyn i pnla noe ohste dorictpenis uto s'it and it gutohth ot ym true how alpy tuo nad came fiel fo oenn udlwo nadetw wya !eww)h( omtlsa. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments