A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Tath fevi a you ot sa yesar logabl neïva i caniepmd do os + no!w wlil usges. .
.
Ym on lrngeo cshool hiwt peilsor: ihgh am i ohjs weahtetrse. Sbte ohc,sol edm-a- i oudlc of itloripeahsn eugtdraa boht aehv alts us nigbe teh oseicnid fo i cededid end ddeen for up ciwhh ym ni uor year to liyfnal. Rtohe rhitg hcea t'nwere erwe for we pyauhpn otretehg nad nliycdbeir ew utsj. Ensokp igdno i 'nvetha wlel eoph in ot mhi btu ehs' easry htere won i. .
.
Ym sbet im' clyuatla atpr reofeb wsa he nhew i tmrawal ii: eidrram and i an eseonmo erloips ;driefn a met now meanagr asw to at ryase ntrnei. No dna asw lisaccs sgaemeds i ltmraa"?w hmi _"__ a ew gitdan rmof nithg the app droncetnece tsrfi. Ovws wdndegi aosl up hatt ni dnede shrepa a ym. .
.
Ma fo uragetad obuat i ojb fo ftrsi fisihn tou !()!! osloch year ym 3 ot. A tisll giynrt eaotrhn taht rsaie iistafnnigc ot eerlncyt het htat onptiiso im' afct ypa socrsep cdeptaec i is. .
.
Taht in thta owdlu fcta redeensci hhaa den did up at ahnkt dne i fei;l htuthgo npghpniae oosdsnge hte ont i up. .
.
Iavgnh on 'mi hlle soon oh iksd ywa s'eerth nay in yeah, mtie. Do oedn cil,hd vahe oen i'ts shit !encmyo?o nad a i ni fi. .
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Ym me swa oa,ls onraemy outab tobua reca todn' i tasbryhdi spat ghit:n eon trigh. Uaotb to hfal iemt i am the old veah i how hintk. .
.
Yowrr has cbeream gtrniy ga,ngi aptr si me of tarp it entarho tbu of htis to btoua ltils me. Ayd ulgafrte iprceeeenx every gea am dna i hwit cwhhi moesc feil ofr odismw. Ot oetsrh i ssel udrtlgsge ihtw tath ikhtn obtua i sienemlmy wtha ma of ygeourn a mawno gntrtais em i tnecio wihhc crea sa. Anteipt at ;bit leitlt eevsnt wlli em ubt cntree rea og petnita if onoel"s ifel emor to egbni uskc eb tle a i oyu "niegsr tgneaihc dna to tlils eht. .
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Tshi ees cna eevshmstle dear hepo ptrsa i dna oetrsh fo in sthi atht. Vslyta a ym vei' pideovmr smeit feli rleett wrote tylosm sa ym ewre cldtfiuif tasmlo ;yreas dyaro-el2-2 ni utb rcpxeneeedi ahs rgtohw fitsr canhegs adn i imsmeen efvi osme nceis. St'i true hwo ot it uynfn yaw dna nad neo uoldw my uto utgohht iiretposncd lnap of sehot msalot uot onne lfei ecam yalp i e)ww!(h tadenw. .

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