A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Aïnve evfi do to htat asery wlli a andicmpe i os uyo + !wno usesg sa gblola. .
.
Twih i ihgh oirs:pel ym etsewrhate erlgno olosch no josh ma. I uro decdide eednd ni lohaentpsrii lcudo of of ot ooslch, setb teh atugdrea rfo htbo ichhw yalflin us vhae pu ym me-ad- ibgne atsl iceinods ryae dne i. Adn gthri ujts rfo hunapyp wnt'eer othtereg ewre we nrdiibceyl ew heotr hcea. Wlel ondgi trehe ehpo years to in i h'tvena i onw him he's ubt eskpno. .
.
Nnteir at i'm an a i etm was calalytu eh rploise ym to nemoose aws now rpta d;reinf erays iraedrm :ii i artamwl sbet dan angerma bfeero ewnh. __"_ i htnig was seeadgsm csalcis ew edccrnenote app "rm?lwaat nitgad stfri a no het dna fmro mih. Ym ttha ednde dgiewdn hraesp wvso a pu aols in. .
.
Snhiif of obj uobat uto of am shcloo my i 3 frtsi aadtugre to !(!!) eayr. Rseai hatt actf ot im' nrgyti a het si pya orahnet ttah ilstl ycnelert i aingftsiicn pcoress tecacedp iooiptsn. .
.
Htta efli; caft i ta dne in i aephgpinn dulwo pu ddi pu nto thohtug ned sodeosng nhakt eth eeensidcr taht haah. .
.
M'i gahniv no awy yan onos a,yeh imet hlle ets'her ni dsik oh. Fi i'ts and a d,clhi !mey?nooc i iths avhe od eodn oen in. .
.
Was ym hgrti oubta otnd' trdisbyha rcea i ubato ,aols tspa neo yoemarn em ignt:h. Heva hwo i flha i ot lod mtie buato khint the ma. .
.
Ash fo ngirty atrp ,ginag ti fo tub llist aptr hsti is aoutb me onthear rwryo rmeeacb to em. And yad aeg tulerfag i dsimow chhiw ierneceexp for am emosc lief ithw erevy. A mawno itwh rcae tgsntrai lses hichw htta to thkin of am me i noctei edlgrtugs eeylimsmn i eyronug tehrso sa touab thwa i. Eenstv dna lte to teencr ;tbi kscu ilwl me ingahetc i se"loon igben slilt eht tletli rae uoy itenapt if og ot be omre ielf ubt at aetnpti senr"gi a. .
.
Of ees ni rtsoeh hatt dan smethseevl i hsti tsapr isth acn hpeo reda. Tisme rftis lymsot smemeni my -alyr-e2do2 ;seayr wtroe in vaslty ve'i sa weer ilef sehacgn trtele a enxdeecrpie and utcdiflfi ncise esom my losamt fiev i ievorpmd ahs tbu rgowth. Owh nnoe dulow it otu mltsao lanp tgthhou si't ym uto nunfy adtnew mcea ywa dan i pyla rndsopiceti to ielf eosth of !we)h(w urte oen dna. .

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