A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I ndcapemi od a os ttha + sa segsu to ivef wo!n illw saeyr oyu blalog vïnae. .
.
I :priosel trwseeheat wtih am hjos no lnroeg ym hghi ohcols. Hte us i edn ebts ot up a-d-me ucdol of fo oru ynaflil hhwci gutderaa ncsodeii aehv ym tboh eiceddd in tpelnsrhioia i enbig ryae ofr deden cloohs, tasl. Rteoh tjsu ecah adn ewre ithgr we r'eetwn uapnpyh rheogtte liybcrdnie rof we. Godin wno utb ysare she' in imh enkops elwl i aen'thv epho to ethre i. .
.
I enhw estb aws i was a eboerf meseoon met at denfri; ntnrei prta aesyr onw an germana lytalauc he my miraedr lwtmaar adn sloripe to i:i 'mi. Ngadti on ihgtn i ew srift ?mraa"ltw _"__ ormf iclascs ppa eoctnecrden nad mih teh gemdasse a aws. A in ddnee gdnwide my arshep salo swvo up atht. .
.
Of hcsool 3 )!!!( sfitr fo am gratueda uto ojb ym ot eayr sifnhi i atbuo. Cporses aenothr irgynt to a gifainsctni pay lneectyr ionpiots saire 'mi aftc ahtt the illst is i daececpt that. .
.
Wolud uhotght i;efl ta idd aahh i den nhakt rseeendic dne naphepnig tath in teh pu nossoegd hatt i tcaf not up. .
.
Sikd awy soon in mtei m'i hlel vihang rsteh'e ayn ,yeah on ho. Aevh its' if ni clhid, shti i odne od dan a yo?mne!co neo. .
.
I nyemaor my aecr neo dshtriayb wsa ls,ao buato em trigh :gntih tsap outba dton'. I i imte ohw the obtau dol flha am vahe khnti to. .
.
Has ptar it itnyrg tnrohae tshi tbu em yrrow si mareecb ot of oubta tsill of ingag, aprt em. I am evrey ihwt moesc yda eag dan orf owmdsi chihw enecieexrp gfulrtae elfi. Wihhc wonma smneemiyl a em ourenyg am iktnh sa otienc race i fo i rtiansgt twah aoubt suegrgtdl ahtt i ehstor tiwh sesl to. Dna nchiegta bti; em a to ouy be lte rae hte at i ot tnetpia if "ensloo go "ingser siltl rtceen tnaipte ilettl flie bnegi lwil rmoe ucsk utb nvsete. .
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Rhesto mevtlesseh artps arde itsh tihs in fo cna ese ttha i hepo nad. Teelrt inecs etrwo years; smaotl my dcpixeeeenr tub dfiilfcut ie'v hwogtr ym nsimmee in msolty tyvsal vfie oidmrvep eifl emso mstei rwee a nad hscange ao-dl2r-2ey i sa hsa fsrti. Reut paly tou lsamto nneo tou how it fo i (w)!hwe i'st one fnuny tthgohu stdeipconri oulwd ym panl dan nad etdawn ot efil esoth awy aecm. .

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