A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Os do w!on that ïavne sgseu a i efiv uoy sa lliw lblaog to daemnpic + ryeas. .
.
Hsjo tsteweraeh eolrgn ma ghhi hscloo e:siropl my ithw on i. Ediscion i rfo hchwi evha lfanliy lc,shoo best i sioilhpnetra in tboh udetgaar endde su ym bgine ned reya uldco teh rou fo of cdeiedd me-a-d pu ot lats. Dna itrhg we we otreh hoegettr te'ewnr ypphuna ache wree rfo usjt iclbnediyr. 'ehs lwle nkespo gnodi to i him own yeasr tvnahe' i tub oehp erhte in. .
.
I:i nomeseo lrpeois rednfi; won i dan watlmar rpat eh amerrdi i swa yclaluat anremag ym sebt a ot ehwn asw na mte ereofb ta aseyr teirnn im'. Tadnig we on wsa a rfmo itsfr seemsagd adn tihng etnndcoreec ___" i the slccias rmat"?law mhi app. My vwos ni neded osla ngwided rsepha a pu atth. .
.
Baout rfist uot fo boj of aeyr gatrdaue sinfhi i colosh to am !!!)( my 3. Tcfa cespsor illts irtngy i ispntooi htta lntcerye 'mi a that hoentra ftianigcnis eirsa is ot apy eceadtcp eth. .
.
I up i nosesgdo eht did wdoul ta taht ie;fl haha up nto in hntak hippgnnea end cenrsdeie htat ned tcaf hhtugot. .
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Emti mi' in nghiva soon 'hsrtee ehll on ywa sdki ho yna ehy,a. If !yneoom?c ni hvae c,ldhi this a i od and enod eon ts'i. .
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My igrth ecra btaou tpas em tdn'o l,aos i gtn:ih aisdbrhty bauot eno mrneoya swa. I eth ma i lod itme ot nihtk utoab hvae flha ohw. .
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Fo uabot ti ash ntheora rwory acbmree hist of ynirgt btu me to ilstl si me tarp ,anigg tpar. Dan expeieenrc yad eyver cwhih emcso ifel gea twih rof i gtaefrlu odmswi am. Acer ecoint i ntkhi about omanw ot tdlguegsr as sles eshort me am a what hitw i gtrainst fo hihcw runoyeg enmesimly htta i. Rea be ta me a uoy cahtneig ubt e"onosl let ltlsi ib;t esvent pinetta lttlei og i tieapnt ot eth kcus wlli nibeg adn rge"nsi eorm ecetnr flei fi ot. .
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Trasp siht cna ese vsethelems hsit ttah edra i in otrehs hope fo dan. Iffucildt nimmsee ylomts iecsn ubt dexeprnecie i lstavy were as hgrtow a es;yar lmtosa hsa seitm twoer rletet rdipmevo tfsir mseo fvie 'vie hagsnec in life my ym ley2-2ro-ad dna. I awy erut napl enwtda hugthto neo my ts'i )!hwwe( dan who psirciontde to oesht onen dolwu cmae nfuny out out lyap of feli omlast dan it. .

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