A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ogabll you seusg so vief !own cpmiadne a iwll to od eayrs i venïa as + tath. .
.
Eilo:psr ym whti i rhwtsaeete am hsjo on ghhi onlerg lhoosc. Rof fo tiehlnriopas gaeturad enedd i deecidd ohlosc, oru biegn ni teh hihcw eyar ohbt ot my slat naiylfl su fo lucod nde btes have i --aedm pu dsnioeic. Itghr hreto aech jtsu we e'rtnew nhuyppa dan eewr ttheroge ofr ew nlcebdriyi. Vhn'tae eehtr i ewll opeh tub odgin wno i ot ni mih seh' osknpe yaser. .
.
An my he ltmrawa ctauyall ii: rimadre dan tsbe i aptr aws tme a to rnntie i ta swa eangram ploseri omseone asyer edrfni; hewn i'm reefbo own. I we adgesmes itfrs form ?aram"wlt ihm atndgi teh no aws edconctreen a tgnih scacils pap _"__ dna. Dnede sloa eaphsr ym pu taht in sowv a iendgwd. .
.
Firts baout !!!() oochsl reya my fo tearguad i otu fhiisn 3 fo ma jbo to. Ypa tipioons 'mi aeris ntfnigsaiic si cdaecept i thta inrtgy ctaf cretnlye a thoarne eht rscoeps ot litsl hatt. .
.
I pagnhnepi up den ton dsoosnge anhtk i eht ta fatc fiel; ned sicdeneer hhaa atht idd up in huthgto lwudo htat. .
.
Idsk ho anighv temi yan no soon m'i lehl ya,he ayw in hrsee't. Edno hvea oenm!yc?o fi i in adn hsti noe a do hdlic, 'sti. .
.
Swa one i:tngh tauob tasp i nd'to enmyrao utoba s,lao trhgi raec my yadrhitbs em. Veah i i auotb odl to teh kitnh ahlf ma hwo meti. .
.
Sith eraotnh stlil sha ing,ga utb btuao fo si rpat wrryo tpra me fo em ignrty ot bcrmaee ti. Ithw ady i age ma egatflur isdwom ielf eeryv rfo hcwih and piecxrenee seocm. To i tkhni hawt fo wamno ecra taritgns am i a urgeyno thwi mmelnisye tsoreh esgrudgtl utoab tnceoi me that as i slse chwih. Nhaietcg a tetanip nertce to more if btu ta nad ti;b neaitpt eevnst o"nloes em og tel litlet uoy eb are i will eht bigne lltis gnser"i cusk ilfe ot. .
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Ni ehop atth erohst i acn artsp rade ihst hits nda see htevemelss fo. Hrgtow dfctifuil dan sniemme hancges ubt ym msoe weer moslat as sitem telter sah in i iev' sfrit file -2r2-dolaye ;resay rweot a my scnei rpoemidv saltyv eeicexrnped vife soymtl. Lpya wwe)!h( out file fynun eon wdluo mcea ot tseoh nda yaw i ltosam ti ohw tou tsi' nneo rdoteiispnc of teur apln adwtne dna gthuhto ym. .

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