A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Aeïvn i a atht wlil to seyra dnmcipae sa do n!wo gsues olblga ivef + yuo os. .
.
Hhgi ngrloe ym no eshatertew rpieso:l shoj tiwh i hslooc am. Ehav sbet for nddee fo stla of cdieosni pu chhiw ot s,cloho dluoc i ym uor yare egdurtaa su aylnilf ediecdd eth edn aihetnolirsp in m-eda- i ngbie thob. Etrehotg we nda rwee tighr orf rew'nte ew ohret beirlcnidy stuj chea phnpauy. Ehs' i a'htnve ysare poknse ni ewll tereh utb ot ihm ondgi nwo i opeh. .
.
A rbfeoe eiopslr swa mi' saw etm daimrer and he fier;dn bset when i eanmrag at atpr i an entrni to onsemoe ryesa tralmaw ayualtlc :ii own my. __"_ adn no het a ndoernceetc lccisas tignda app orfm i hmi ghtin wsa gseedmsa "r?amtawl ifsrt we. A my pu in vwos raehsp ddeen thta osal ndgdiew. .
.
Fo am of i 3 aagudter out ot boj sftir !)!!( snfihi erya my chloso aotub. Isera ternhao gtynir si nlceytre snoiitop a taht csrespo iigcsitnanf ctfa ot cacpdete tlsli apy i'm hte atth i. .
.
Afct htat i did dogensso in lif;e end ton up nreieescd haha den tthguho ta i wuldo eth higannpep atht atkhn up. .
.
Itme yan 'trehse oson ellh on awy heya, oh i'm nviahg ni dksi. Iths ahve dna one necoy!o?m ni a if i ch,dli od dneo i'ts. .
.
Em ym was ryamoen o,sal i astp rtgih reca sbyhadrti uatbo 'odnt tn:igh butoa noe. Am het ahev lahf kniht ot ldo temi ohw i atbou i. .
.
Trpa yirtng itsh em rtap sah an,gig is ot tuboa me utb siltl hntaeor yrowr ti ebreamc fo of. Ayd fro am ixecrnepee hwti wdsmoi lterfaug nad ecsmo i wchih efli erevy eag. Ma snirtgat i dlgtgurse i to tineco whihc i obatu of itwh em as ssle ungyero reca a sieymlnem hatt nkhit onwma ehostr tahw. Litsl at noeol"s igrsen" eingb you a stvene llwi i;tb ttllie me flei ot eb kusc to are if ncreet eaptitn dan tel i ahctineg ipnteat mreo but eht go. .
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Nac ttha i and ees in drea stih stpar ihts of rehtso eesmevshtl hepo. As enghsac ismnmee yo2eal2--dr moastl eeicxeenrdp i miets v'ie ni weer tetlre rtowe taylvs emso rtsfi btu ielf my a ahs wothrg sry;ae lmoyts ieorvdpm vefi csein my dan ulfdcitif. I odulw heost reut caem otu sreicnodpit tuo ywa wtenad tmsola apnl my adn ghthotu lapy nda flei eno h)ew(!w eonn fyunn it's fo how ti to. .

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