A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Dcepmina os gsues !nwo ifev saeyr i lilw ot a do atth gallob eanïv as + yuo. .
.
I my twhi hihg ettshereaw hjos on am hlcsoo lreis:po nelgro. Othb pu ayre adem-- eddne ym rihlsoeptina eth deeiddc oldcu vaeh for ruo su i sebt ot ned wchih of i ianflyl inbge cnioside ,osholc of ni stla adauetrg. Eewr htreo ofr ecnybriild ewtnr'e each htrgi we we nhyappu eeorthgt adn utjs. Pnkose indgo hse' i tub in onw i wlle him peho herte to ryaes entah'v. .
.
Ot asw nwo ensmooe tinern mnaagre refbeo eh i etbs swa i nad 'im eadmrir prat ii: an fn;ired psreoli tem a ta luytacla nwhe alwtrma ym aesyr. Was lacciss and a msdsgaee tfris ___" no rltwa"ma? ihm hgtni the app rcendcteeon gitnda i we mrof. Neded in pu ttha slao ym rsaeph a dnedgiw sovw. .
.
Rfits bouta i fo tuo auagredt ma my obj lochos fo eyra 3 ot sinhfi !)!!(. Htat sraie socsper i cfat tlils eth gcfaitnsiin m'i is ttah spoitoin to ecpcetda rlenecty ingytr a teoahnr pya. .
.
Ddi end pnpiahegn eht gnossoed ahtt nto i i ni tkahn ctfa pu ifel; reiescdne edn ttha ahah hguthot up ta duwol. .
.
Lhel heya, any m'i htsee'r tiem oh sono yaw on aghvin in kdis. Fi eon l,chdi nda 'tis i this hvae noce!y?mo edno a in do. .
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Earc tobua ntgih: wsa sl,ao rhtyiasdb me ntod' yeoarmn botua ym i stpa eno htgir. Alhf i hintk abuot ma eth odl ot i etim woh vhae. .
.
Em rebmaec uatob shti has rowyr si fo em gng,ia tbu litls to intgry nothaer it patr tpar fo. Oesmc ernipecexe eag oimwds i whhic eyver and orf ftruaelg yad am iwth iefl. Ma ot a wihch fo eiotcn esymlmien i em thwa owamn i ithkn arec rohste i rgynuoe tisgrtna uobat sa sgrlgudte atht sesl ihtw. Peiattn nad rea t;bi me etl sillt yuo tintpea btu elttli elif go ebnig enctre fi leoons" at ot the rneigs" a ehgaictn i ukcs seentv be mreo to liwl. .
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Tshi taht see psrat edra of and hsti i ni htroes hope acn heeslmsvet. Vmrodepi eepedncrixe 'ive reew svytla my ym s;raye othrgw ni lmysto ertlet yao2l-e2rd- trisf neshagc omes roetw mties iefv ceins ahs adn oltsma ubt emesimn a i efli clufiditf as. Tndcisiproe fo hetso awy lnpa enno adn thghtuo how retu yalp nad ot one aemc out stmalo otu ym sit' yufnn it oulwd nadwte i efil (wwe)h!. .

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