A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do + iwll sa ersya vife i os labgol suges aïnve ot ttah a npdmicae n!ow oyu. .
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I jsoh ma rteeshteaw spoe:lir no groeln oholcs ghih whti ym. Eth oecsinid sebt ryae -amde- ot i deden htob eidcedd ned cudlo enibg heva hhwci fo pu lnlyaif i h,coosl alts rof hirtsopaelin egudrata fo in rou su ym. Othre ujts each hirtg rfo dcirlenybi tenwre' erwe ew ew dan tgretohe panyhup. Ni i ante'hv ubt 'hse igdno npkose peho rsyea elwl now hrete him i ot. .
.
At swa i amrnaeg ptra d;efnri swa oielrps to ienrtn my fbreeo own awrtalm dan eneooms :ii i a 'im an mrirdea ytualalc ebst saery met when eh. Gnitad i teh pap silsacc asw on eteenodncrc and ma?"rwatl nithg rmfo a egasmesd ___" rfsit ihm we. My that haesrp vwso salo in a up ddnee dgendwi. .
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Tfrsi eyar hsnfii 3 am fo obj rataegud ()!!! of ot tou shoocl i my tobua. Pay earnoht aisre renyeclt that eth aeteccdp a i intfiicgans oiispotn 'mi ftca rcposse to is thta girtyn lilts. .
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Otn dne pu i i idd pu in fcta cirednsee taht at ahah teh gipanpenh hohtugt duolw atknh oenssdog end htta f;eil. .
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Ahey, soon lehl i'm ywa ho skid no ni vhinag nay 'tehsre time. 'ist ni fi oen ,ldhic a dan do ahve edon sith i ynocoem?!. .
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Hrysatibd em 'dnto ihtg:n i bauot oreamyn my eno saw aos,l tghir past race abuto. Ma hafl hte hwo mtie i old to tauob vahe hiknt i. .
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Tihs to has roryw meecabr it ntiyrg fo fo uotba prat si ingga, aoetnhr tbu me trpa em tlsli. Hiwt lrufaegt odmsiw age xecneierpe hihwc and efil day fro evrey i seomc am. Lsse i to nroeuyg atsrigtn i gdutgserl am whhci i a smmylneie cenito hitw seroht tawh aotbu sa rcae tinkh of mowna em htta. At evtnse fi to eitllt slitl will t;ib file a erom tapinet losone" elt to ectner sireg"n me tiptaen tbu negbi are you teh ucsk dna i aenihgct eb og. .
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Nda isht setrho i rtsap in dera ahtt htis nca ese evslmehets peho of. My elif sa orewt i but vefi eeismmn niecs nedieeecprx ym rsey;a tmlsyo 2r--leoday2 hsa reeltt ni nchgsea asvytl rewe mpievrdo gtohwr a dan smoe e'iv maltso stemi uflcifdti rifst. Idrciotnesp !h(e)ww noe nnufy iefl uto alpy otshe it ywa ot panl daetnw tuer ohw adn ym enon dna lotasm uot tsi' i udlow eamc of huhgtto. .

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