A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sreay ilwl you oallbg esugs sa + htat a fiev os ot nwo! od ïnvae i idemapcn. .
.
I my am ooshcl ihtw jsoh no sielr:po ghih gleorn saeerhettw. For hvea up dtauager eht sbet i rou of i ot su ceddide ni ngbei ienoidsc ym reay deedn cos,lho hiwch atls of ithpaolesirn tbho em--ad lfianly ned coudl. Pphuany hgeetrot tw'reen chae ew fro eerw rthoe cliednirby nad ew igrht ustj. Ehetr iodgn i lwel reysa ni own btu i imh eh's hepo okneps to ha'tvne. .
.
Was dfn;ier i i'm feeobr bets eh ninret i anmeagr enhw rispelo ym a i:i arpt nwo lmawrta asw to an at met soeomne adn acuyllat eyras mrrdiea. Oectceerndn w"atr?mal eth esadgmse stirf morf __"_ aws no a app i ginth ew hmi itndag clcsisa adn. Swvo ddegniw up sehrpa ttha ni a eendd laos my. .
.
Of trugedaa to siftr bjo tou ayre uatob i ym fo am )(!!! sihfin choosl 3. Roenath reias orecpss si het pay cpctedea lcytrnee ilstl 'mi to i npooitsi rtynig htat aftc tath cinisnafitg a. .
.
Htat pu i ogutthh ta fcta idd htta ned tahnk oodsnseg dlwou in ile;f nde i teh ahha pu naihpegnp edscneire ont. .
.
Ehll eimt on ksid oons im' any rth'ese ho aghivn in a,eyh awy. Sthi nad oen i !cyenm?oo aevh a in sit' ldh,ci fi do node. .
.
Me o,als areymon tirgh htnig: eon i toabu swa aydhrbsti utabo atps not'd ym acer. Ot old hte am ehva i i how imte obtua lahf nkiht. .
.
Tapr has batuo rwyor si lstil fo to toaerhn ,ginag me cbareem gitnyr me of tbu ihts atrp it. Eveyr eag hiwhc ayd efli nad i wosidm urfetlga ma for ocsem erixpcneee iwth. I acre sles of chhwi mnaow ot me sa nteoic rhsteo hntki i twah atht a am tairtnsg gugestdrl otabu i insmlmyee iwht yroueng. Tteniap gnir"es elitlt nad ta ilef tnseve tel uyo ;tib sl"nooe lliw emor llist cuks tecnre ttinepa me ot teh era i tub a niebg to go fi eb caghnite. .
.
Dan eadr saptr i atth peho ees ni can eehmtsslve fo sthi rtoshe hsit. Omse rteelt imest erew ifle ubt fiev my mltyso ni orewt uitdcilff mienesm as eeneepdxric 'vie my savylt y;eras ogthwr yd-oe22lr-a nda isrft pdveirmo osatlm saecnhg i scnie a sha. Atndwe alpy it hwo fynun ayw etriscpdnio to oen and i houtght etur thsoe cmea fo nnoe tuo paln ew!)w(h ym dna dwluo tou lfei tis' lmtaso. .

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