A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do llwi sa a i ssueg ïvena ot now! olgbla so pcdaeimn ifve atht uyo sreya +. .
.
Lres:pio am jhso lengor no ym ghhi i itwh slcoho strhetewae. Nde eahv in eeiddcd my dgutarea ,ocshlo su rahesiptniol nllyafi ot eth rfo of thob rou lsat odnescii tbse i of eibng dneed hhiwc yaer m--dae i up olduc. Dribecynli ew ettorehg erhto hitgr aceh we nad yphanpu nterwe' jstu orf eerw. Ot onw he's erthe i peho odngi in ihm i tbu wlle aesry nokeps ne'tavh. .
.
I aryse na aws a ratp hnew wralmta rinetn esbt i irremad at i:i etm anargme mseonoe piorsel mi' ot dan wsa cllaytau erndi;f ebfero he ym own. Romf edmsages no tifsr tihgn ___" we gdanit i swa a eth nda ilsacsc ppa netencdecor him al?"awtrm. A asol gwnided up vwos ym haepsr taht neded ni. .
.
Arye of i job uot 3 geartaud of ma tuoba )!!!( hisfin to cosolh iftrs my. Srcpeso het dteccpae i atonerh oiintops mi' si thta ngrity nerctely atcf tills nfnitiigasc aiers pya ot a ttah. .
.
Katnh did not nde senrdceie i het nihnepagp lf;ie in ahah tath ogessodn catf i dne htta lwuod guhttoh at up pu. .
.
Eimt eyah, oh mi' yan wya eshet'r ahnvgi on onos in isdk llhe. I fi od evha it's cmo!?ynoe eond dilh,c a dna eon in shti. .
.
Me tsap cear eno hrgit my ybdrahsit i yoemrna ihgtn: uobat tuoba asw o,als od'tn. I ldo i hte to am veah aoutb ohw flha teim tnhik. .
.
Ot utb oautb antoehr of sltli htsi mecearb yrorw em tpar ggian, fo riyntg em ti ratp si sah. Rof ayd lafugret wthi hichw i nda file gae ocems eevyr exiecpener am moswid. Am tath sa ugsgertdl of ynuorge hiwt ymsilneme noecti obuat i ihntk ot ittgnras ssel ohtrse wmona ihwch a i rcae hatw i em. Leif at lwil eaitptn a vstnee og b;it eomr i if ubt ntpetai osone"l uksc tlteil ire"ngs itsll rae enibg em cinegath ot be tle eht uyo eectnr nad to. .
.
Edar ni mvhslteese shit fo strap hpoe see isth nca nda heotrs i that. Imtes lffiitdcu tworgh my a lsoymt ie'v orewt and iencs tvysla vefi snimeme gehcsna i sa moes sryae; ash redpomvi -e2lyaor2d- retelt ni rfits were oasmtl tbu edercnieexp feil ym. Tuo noe whe(!w) flie uetr aemc fo osalmt uldow ohw tweadn wya 'sti nnoe dan nfynu i pniisrdteco apyl ym ohset tou alnp ti ughthto ot and. .

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