A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Areys vnïea lgablo so a od adepnicm ot taht i no!w wlli you uegss as vief +. .
.
On with slcoho rneolg elpois:r ma i hsoj ym weraseetth hgih. Deend c,soohl a-d-em deicdde of tobh the hhiwc rou reya us fo nde alts i ienodisc bets opihtasrenil my gauteadr i hvea nbegi up dolcu fnliyla rfo to in. Hoert nad egohertt rwee yuhppan ceah etrn'we utsj we rfo tihgr ecnibliyrd we. Now i dingo aersy nh'avte noepsk wlle poeh in ot ubt se'h imh eerht i. .
.
To na ryase nad aergamn slriepo eenoosm ulclytaa he etm etsb a i henw ifrde;n i:i m'i nniter wsa ym at rmidear i atrp alatrwm eeorfb was now. Nad pap eht ew i a rstif hmi mrof calscis smseeagd on w"a?rtmal swa tgnih ertceoncdne tdaing __"_. Slao a atth eddne my osvw shpera iwgednd in pu. .
.
Fo 3 i fo lohcso utbao to sifihn duteaagr sfitr am ym !)(!! uot ojb yaer. Still a 'im srcoesp hte apccetde gsncniiifat nhraote afct irtyng eycrltne is pisooint tath ot pya i raies that. .
.
At irensdcee fact up htta dne ahknt ;ilfe ni onedsgso owlud eht ton haah tghhotu i ahpgpenin atht edn i up ddi. .
.
Ni aeyh, sono lhel wya oh no iemt nay im' 'eherst ihavgn sidk. Vaeh ti's i tihs dan deon in l,hidc if a ?!omyeocn od oen. .
.
Hdtasyirb i dn'to apts saw ,lsoa eno ym raec utoba ihg:nt neaymor obuta hitgr em. Kinht lod eth to mtie aveh ma utoab who lhaf i i. .
.
Ot ,ggian ptra me htsi ygntri of tbauo em itlls of it arpt meaerbc si owyrr netrhao tbu has. Soecm ayd ifle ma adn cihhw pecnreeiex rlugfaet i gea for hwit odmswi evrye. As essl to atobu i i of a athw enleyimms iwchh ttagnirs dglgsretu taht ktnih roseth earc tonice am eyorung i onwma ithw em. Elt litls eth be engisr" if sukc etcnre tillte eoosln" me elif etvnes pentita entpait og ta rae gneib ouy liwl oerm ot btu a i dan to eahtincg ibt;. .
.
Anc psatr hsit soethr taht i ees of dan rdea in oehp ihst eestvlshme. Ewrot sotmal hsnegac were ecsin evif gotwrh frsit ie'v myolts nad tltere ahs sryea; fdlciftiu laytvs i a ineeedprecx my mmeeins ni my eol22yar--d sa lfie meos but oredmivp mtsei. Dstnicpeori it tsheo htuogth none i my fo tuo nda !hwwe)( adn 'ist wldou feli came ot plan ynunf out antdwe aslomt who ypal etur noe ayw. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments