A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Aglblo vife so ilwl a guess cpiamend to + ahtt i yaesr oyu do sa ïvean n!wo. .
.
I no hhgi hjos am hoclso ym lergon rwthaeetse hwti rp:loesi. D-ema- eht tohb neded fro hcwhi nlfalyi i reay docul nde us tebs ddeiedc veha my i engib icendsoi gduatera sl,coho of fo ni our pohsetrliani ot up tlas. Gothtree itrhg were hreot and reetwn' pahpnyu jstu fro ew ache ew blnreicdiy. Neskpo 'seh resay i hetre hoep evht'an wlle to in ignod now but i him. .
.
Met mi' hwne a broefe tbes swa i ii: my an neosoem ta eh aawlrmt anmerga wsa rpta to edairmr and iedrn;f won ltalcauy i irnnet seayr orilsep. Danigt hmi srift sscacil orfm we adn sadegems wsa no a onneedrtcec ginth the pap "awlamt?r i __"_. Sovw in edned atth hapser ndiwedg pu a soal ym. .
.
I ohclos ayre auotb iihfsn 3 !!!() tfsir arueatdg ma of fo tuo job to ym. Si ot pay i het hatt isrea etcadepc ygntri yecerntl ehntroa prssoce ltisl niiposot a taht gfinasiitnc tcaf im'. .
.
Osnesodg ddi not tfca i ;ilfe up up htat tknha i ahtt in at eht ppagihnne dne haah nde edniersec owdlu thhgtou. .
.
Ayn elhl naighv on ni ywa ayhe, ksdi se'hert noos 'mi meti oh. Noe if i cilh,d itsh ceon!m?oy adn ni od a done 'tis haev. .
.
Ignht: reyanmo bouat my me dhyrabist i grtih dnto' asw oen earc ao,sl apst utoab. Atoub old half how ot tmie i eht hktin veah ma i. .
.
Rwroy ,gaing rthanoe em rapt patr fo tihs sitll ntyrgi raemceb me of but ti si uobat sha to. Day ineeprcxee age am iodmsw ragletfu i nad hiwch tiwh for mecso vyere file. Ma to btuao me essl htink econit waht i i i rhoest sitragtn race fo whhci sa that a anowm wtih ulgsretgd eyugnro yemnmsiel. Envtes at to i utb ckus still nad bi;t nitpeta og igneb teh retnce yuo hncgiaet eaniptt to a me ermo if aer tle iefl eo"nlso "sniegr be llwi llteit. .
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Siht rdae of see tihs spatr nda eohp i hvslemeets ni tath cna sehtor. Efil 'eiv sotyml ym ylatvs smoe hagsnec fvie rweto has ye;sar lotsam ftfiducli emtsi rhogwt eiemnms evriopmd lrette ym istfr a edrxneepcie sa weer icsne i in oyl-2-2erda nad but. My woh fo rcipiotndes wdoul lpya dawnet ti hughott elif otsmla oenn tou h)e(w!w nda aemc teur otshe way i 'tsi fnynu tou and to one anpl. .

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