A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Imdpcena a i atht sa os blaogl ow!n + sgues llwi od vife naïve yuo ot easry. .
.
Tsaerwthee i am htiw ghhi my pls:rieo hsoj ocshol on orglne. For ciwhh iecoidsn egnib pu to tobh -meda- fo ohsl,co ltas my i renosaihtpil colud teh steb cddedei ryea ni gtraedau uor i end enedd us fo inylalf eavh. Gtrhi sutj twenr'e dan for dibrlyecni hcea eewr uphyanp ew ew ohtre eehtorgt. Nodig se'h in hreet utb psoenk vhanet' wno yresa hpoe ot i wlle ihm i. .
.
Dfe;rni i erntni swa na tluaylac my tbes to rmiadre eh saw gaeamnr and own tpra ta 'mi yersa a mooenes rioleps bfeore met tmlraaw i ii: nhwe. Adn we "___ i isrft form tnghi nodeecnrect a eth hmi on sliascc ditagn matwrla?" pap eadgssme was. Tath my vwos eaprhs genddwi in osla ndeed a pu. .
.
I oslcoh yaer ma rsitf fo !)(!! otu fo boj ihnifs my dtegraua ot 3 baotu. Ionotisp llits i atth atfc eisar i'm ot esrocps tceedpca htat a ypa gnrtyi eth is harteno ynlterec ginafntisic. .
.
Ni khatn i tno haha eth pu oduwl at den thgouth end i did fl;ei tath paheginnp tath aftc deericsen pu gnsoosde. .
.
Emit noos ni nay nagvih oh on awy lelh yh,ea im' 'tsrhee ksid. I aveh ?yceno!om hidc,l noe od doen nda tish a 'tis ni if. .
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Eramyno it:hng tuoba em i ,aosl my oen rihtg cear tspa tobua iadyrhtsb asw ondt'. I meit dol teh am ehva nkhti to lfah atbou i how. .
.
Ubt sha ptra nhreoat iths ot ggai,n wroyr fo tabou ynrigt rcaeemb si ti em of me itlsl rpta. I tefgurla nad feil dya mscoe hiwt oidwsm nrepexecei ega am rfo eeyrv chwih. Of oyuenrg eciotn em ahtw rsteho sles i hwchi ot ma utgdgelrs onamw i sa a ktinh thta rtngatis uatob i mymsnieel whit arce. Em to ernisg" sllit rneect panttie go i npaeitt "elsono het ilef adn ta tel neibg ucks bti; seetvn a tletli uyo aer mroe eb thgeanic if btu illw ot. .
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I epho resoht esslhtmeve can in tshi eadr tath ese apstr isht dna of. Esnmeim elfi a ahs msolat ubt as svylta iev' i raeys; etrow smeo ltrtee ym and erwe prvdemio myolst ievf ym tesim isrft cnepexeerid ni lictiufdf csien le-2od-y2ar chasneg rthowg. Neo ti nalp emac adn htthugo wya lwudo lypa ist' eifl my to saomtl w!h()ew oesht uto of i and tuo oiipestdnrc woh dtewan enon unnyf retu. .

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