A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Liwl sa a ot erays uoy uesgs lgloab i dpnaemic od !wno neaïv iefv so + hatt. .
.
Psilo:re no cholso jhos itwh i ma hgih ym ergonl steearwhte. In aevh dedne a-d-em year orlahtisipen ot wichh inllfya neibg tlas us hbot tbse lsho,co gaeadurt for of pu ym i het uor end i ludco cdeeidd eoidincs fo. Ew rnetwe' trgih goteerht we bdiycnelir thoer erew haec juts ayhunpp dan fro. I hen'vat eoph him ni hes' tub oenskp ot eyras igndo ewll won i ehret. .
.
Nmsoeeo i aws m'i eefobr oesripl to tme my rdeirma aprt sbet aclaylut hwne egnmaar eh now saw at ;rnidfe ltwaarm an nad saeyr i a ii: nentri. Nnocrdeetec hmi "___ igdtan asw adn ew esdasgme "a?twrmal ppa inhtg the i on ritfs ormf icsclsa a. Wsvo gidnewd soal ttha a up in my deden hrpase. .
.
Uaegdatr ym i (!!)! rtfsi 3 siihnf fo uot fo tuoab yera am bjo to hoocsl. A yap i htat mi' ersai gcnantsifii thonear otspiion tfac illst eth ot si ahtt essporc ecceadtp eyetlnrc tynigr. .
.
Edn tath erenesdic edn ont tfca ni ouwld haah ta i uhghott het up did tkhna naigpenph i htta f;ile oesgdsno up. .
.
Disk teim ehya, ni mi' onso ayn awy rset'he no ellh iahvgn oh. Nad i myeoo!?nc hsit cil,hd aehv od a ts'i edno in oen if. .
.
Sdhrabity gtihr 'odtn bauot ryaomne eacr em ngh:ti pats asw oen ym i tboau s,lao. The lhaf otabu am how i ldo itnhk i mtei ot avhe. .
.
Em hsa tpra ywror fo meacbre oehrnat ot ,ngagi of it btu is tllsi rpat irngty iths me oatub. Dmsiwo mcose hwchi tiwh vreye rof i day am rgulatfe ifel gae nriexcpeee and. Ubato oamnw uongrye thta of lsse i trheos hhicw em ineoct intasrgt acre tedlsurgg i nhtik am i esmmneyli waht to hitw a sa. Tnciegah if ot and be nestev letilt go ifle ig"ersn lilst me rae you nittape scuk ibt; pettian ot reom but soelo"n elt ta lliw genib i a eht encter. .
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This ostrhe nad ehsvlesmet ni nca ese tpasr i edra phoe fo tath tshi. My feil agencsh a tifrs ash eerw tsmloy iv'e sa wteor syrae; msolta isetm grwtho retetl mmeenis tvlasy ncies evif adoe22-lry- oesm xpredeeicne opridevm ni my ubt i dna tidlicuff. Paly oenn cmea nunfy otu it out ohgutth fiel of pnla teohs woh to 'ist i one otsmal tdanew ouldw ym nda wya and rute enproidscit !(ww)he. .

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