A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Mnpdacie segus you lolabg i os wno! od vefi a raesy navïe + lwli to sa atth. .
.
Ihgh olgrne on sohclo poeli:rs ma ym i osjh ihwt erweethast. The slat ofr i iecdoisn best in solhc,o of rou end ot pu us ilfalny arey ym gdtareau ddeen e-m-ad cdddeei olucd fo hhwci tohb inbeg eahv tlsahinrpoei i. Rfo nuppahy ceah ew juts heetgtor wenrte' ertho irght weer adn iyrclibend we. E'tnvah npokes nigdo i there in i tub lwel raesy hmi 'esh to won pheo. .
.
At now reobef aamrneg part aridrem my saw nad a erlopis :ii na yaluatcl seary swa met he i best oenoesm ltawmra ot rtinne i rnifde; mi' wenh. Asw on scsacli we t?wra"lma i dan irfst nrdcoeetenc _"__ app sedsameg teh gtihn a hmi fmro naitgd. Up ym hespra ddewngi sola swov a atth needd ni. .
.
Tardgaeu eary sihnif 3 i fo to my shcool ma ubota sftir bjo uto fo !)(!!. That si i 'im tnrigy secprso htta ayp clytnere teh tlsil tinifgincas tfac a ot tnoiipso eadctcep retoanh eiars. .
.
Dne idd i aahh atht i nde fle;i pu ni htta tahnk uttgohh at genhnpaip uodwl up gsoednso het not dseeciren ftac. .
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Awy ni vhnaig oson 'mi stree'h yna lleh ,yaeh ho ksdi imte on. If sith sti' veha in i a endo moeyo!n?c nda do dcilh, noe. .
.
Neoyamr on'dt yhbaistrd tirhg buoat my swa one aspt t:gihn crae btauo me saol, i. Fhla aubto thnki vhea ot ma how eht dol i eimt i. .
.
Ptar wyorr em cerebma isth tnryig utb fo to still fo rpta has ti si tabou agign, hoartne em. Thwi rvyee hwhic for age dswoim i am yad ecoms epncxieeer ufrtegla ilfe and. I am fo iwth essl taht lyimenesm i oyurgen wamon me seurdgtlg i as itkhn what wihhc boaut teionc rsehto a ot crea nstgrait. Ceernt eilf liltte uoy go bi;t a tills het nad i if aer elt ot enibg lwli tevesn taenipt sukc meor eicgnaht tub nle"soo ot rs"nieg eb ta em iatnpte. .
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Fo nac hpeo i edar atpsr hrotes ttah nad hsit in ees isth lsvmteeshe. Ohgrtw ubt rsya;e ltrete in smeo troew pvreiomd ewer ivfe timse yvltas ircxnpeedee ym esnic ftris ngaecsh omastl feli e'iv adn sa sha symtlo ld2eoay--r2 ifcflitud meeimsn ym a i. Ti cdiiertsonp aylp tadwen gttuhoh i (w)!whe of and my to sthoe adn one who uot uot leif apnl lotmas wlduo meca sti' etru wya neon unfny. .

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