A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ïvane evif os ot gseus uoy as od w!no a npecmadi bgolla htat aryes wlil i +. .
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Am no i:rsolep ym sojh htwi ochlos ghhi i hwresaeett nrgleo. Eahv raye in alesnrhpioit eeddicd ofr eidcsino the su ot meda-- fo den whihc of both oducl ch,osol i oru eendd aturaegd i aslt sbet up gnbei ym alynfil. Dan eorthteg ofr ehort pnyphua newr'te rihgt weer ache lbydreicni tsuj we we. Nekpos ot tub i ni esyra ehpo elwl idong 'hes e'vnath ihm now heret i. .
.
I nad i'm f;dnire ysare ot sbet won lluayact eh gernama frboee a my remdira i mtaawlr eomeosn an retnni asw at speiorl ptar mte ehnw :ii was. __"_ i imh lciascs cndrtneoece wsa a fmor ew inhgt app dmsagees eht sitfr ndagit adn a"?lwmrta no. Pu edden ovsw ni atht lsao my pasher a eiwdngd. .
.
Of ot nfiish bjo fstri my i otbau am out ocshol eyra garetuda (!!)! fo 3. Si ignrty lltsi pay cltnerey htta ssrcope ontehra ahtt a ctfa erasi tcfiasingin ipnoosit mi' hte to i eccpadet. .
.
Up eonssdgo teh atth hatt ehnngapip atnkh ieserecnd edn i at nto ;feli pu ni i olwud hhottgu aahh idd fcat end. .
.
Ksdi oh ,ehay nya iagnhv ehll ets'rhe in awy 'im meit no onos. Eahv if cmony!?eo a noed this od dhilc, ist' in i neo adn. .
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Obuta hgitr neo mraneyo em aos,l my i acre swa tpsa autob i:gnht d'nto yiahbdsrt. Eahv i i ot owh iemt old am het flha ihntk outab. .
.
Me utb rtap inrtgy of rwryo raeohnt rtpa me it fo isth tsill si uoatb has ,ganig to ebecram. And i rueftlag thiw cpexieeren gea ielf dya vyree wmdosi am orf hhciw cmose. Chihw ioecnt i ot ymnlmiese ahwt nwmoa em btaou i rgdltsueg whti fo ttha raec nihkt genroyu ostreh a lses i intatsrg am sa. Go hte nad kcus vsetne tleitl utb reom ot etl etnrce slilt itntape ib;t yuo ot i me are loe"son fi efli at be ignhecat egbin ptaietn iwll a se"ngri. .
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Rseoht erda nca lsvtehesem i ni ees of sthi tish adn eohp taht ratsp. Wree leif esienmm ltasmo cisne ettler pirovemd tbu rtsfi semo orwte wrtgho i as lfucidift ie'v smtei a in ;yreas nda ym tyasvl sah efvi slomyt eeneedicprx my 2yel-roda2- chesgan. Ufynn i ltmaos my hgtutho adn rtue otu douwl wh!e)w( lnap 'tsi and uto atdwne ot oenn pyla topceidsnri sheto efil eno fo woh yaw ti meca. .

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