A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

W!no as do + evif thta reasy so ncmpadei llwi i oyu gusse a to obllag nevaï. .
.
High i my ma rpeislo: jsho eognrl no erwseateht school itwh. I aslt het dlouc genib our htob ddidece to yera fo drtauega fo ,clohso nflaliy ofr me--da i ni tesb pu eendd my hwich su lrehniaposit dnsecoii ned hvae. Rgtih etrho einylrbcid utjs nwee'tr weer ceah ofr and tteroghe ew yhnappu we. Ot i es'h onpkse nwo btu rhete htane'v wlle gdnio i eaysr imh epho ni. .
.
Ryase adn netrni aamtlrw aganrem ensoome na tme asw swa ii: oeisplr ot i ym now ;denfir he rbfeeo a bets 'mi i ieadrrm alaculty trpa ta wenh. Ithng seedgmsa asw no amtrw?l"a lscsica pap adn a mrfo i oneneedrtcc eht ihm ___" ew rtsif gitnda. Ershpa ni alos ttha a ndiewdg pu vosw deedn ym. .
.
Ma dgatareu otu fo i trsfi lohosc otuba boj eray !!!() ot ym of nshifi 3. Is a eth htat siotpoin orecsps yap i ttha nsngfctiiai catf to tpcadcee 'im stlli easri oerhtan tngyri ncelyert. .
.
The ;leif i at fcat hhutgto taht ton ntahk uwldo ddi pu nsdeereic ni up htta edn aghnepnpi edn i nogossde aahh. .
.
Ho llhe on mtei snoo 'etrhse nay ksid y,ahe in awy m'i gvhian. I od o!omy?enc ni haev itsh neo if h,lcdi and ndoe s'it a. .
.
Cera abuot ihrtg ytdirhbsa tinh:g me 'todn ,salo i ym uaotb aspt omnyear oen aws. Heav eth item flha owh i ot i tabou am ktnhi dol. .
.
To fo me tarp gryint trpa ubt si itsll it eacmebr uoabt aging, hsa rothane of ihst rrowy em. Whcih cmsoe eilf am yad i uftlegra twih nad imwsdo npeceeexir fro eyerv aeg. Whit sugdteglr em fo ttah am tingatrs a wmnao buato encito i rcea rgunyoe sehrto tkihn lsse lememnysi i i to hichw as athw. Teh ttpaeni lefi og you aiecntgh ies"rng at lsitl to ot ntevse em tpeinta be i csku osoe"nl retecn rea rmeo fi lwil geibn bti; and a btu elt telilt. .
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I anc therso epho in artps that adn drae sthi eevseltsmh see of shti. Has etowr citfiufld mslaot omes ni ifev nad mtsei srfti tvslya ielf edcenxpeeri otylms utb rwee nices mdpveroi rtlete ym lae2-rod2y- a iemsenm ie'v encaghs my sye;ar sa i toghwr. Thtghou ym atewnd one atsolm (w!e)wh lpan ifel i ynfnu nda noen fo udolw dan pdiitersnco ylap ts'i ayw hwo tou ot ti uto oshet meac ture. .

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