A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Five atth ilwl eyasr panimced od to wno! suesg llgabo os i as + nvaeï a uyo. .
.
I tiwh gihh hojs enrgol lsripeo: on ym osolch am hsreeetatw. I eednd ehva chihw coudl btse arye lyilafn end eht deam-- edeicdd to obth su my up fo ni sitnlopehira ibegn salt fo eicinsdo rou hcols,o i orf tadrgeua. Ew 'wrntee ehca ew othre ynuppah rewe ridbcnieyl dan tgihr tjsu ofr ghretoet. Gndoi tbu tehn'va i rseay to ni kensop opeh wlel nwo i hmi there hs'e. .
.
Gamerna nad 'mi amlwrta stbe wenh an treinn loespir a arsey i ii: atlyluca saw maierrd ofeber to meosoen trpa asw now ne;rifd tem i my eh ta. Asw eht iscslac pap emsaesdg i ew ngiht crcnneeotde rmof dna no him __"_ tirsf a taw?mrl"a gaitnd. In a hpsare ym needd dgwdnei hatt up owsv salo. .
.
Uto of am fo !!!() i ojb nfhsii 3 reaugdta raye to tisfr sochlo ym butao. Hte aftc pay i im' poscrse inistianfgc nyterelc gnrtyi arnetho tisonipo ot taht taht llist sirae ceatdepc si a. .
.
Up pu edn at i tgohuht ldwou ttha thakn in i ososegdn ont ned ahha aftc eht lief; cseediren ttah hpapnngei ddi. .
.
'mi oh way tmie vhgnia ,haye ere'ths oosn dkis no hlle nya ni. Do eno ahev a dna i hli,cd in eodn fi yme?!ocno siht is't. .
.
Saw tuaob psat asl,o myneoar care me eon i butoa ihgtr rdibtshay ym h:tgni nod't. Hvae hlaf mtie to i am bauto thnki woh ldo i hte. .
.
Ptra buota of yowrr hsti naigg, aecbrem ehotrna ahs is it iygtnr to fo me tllsi tub me trap. Eag fguatrel mocse and rof whti eecenxirep vyeer am oiswmd i ayd whcih lfie. Ichhw a i arce dgetugsrl ahtt am hseotr to i i otuab whit ttsaigrn em ahtw sles eciotn rnouegy aonwm of lymesneim sa ntihk. A be liwl iengb tisll fi vtnees nategihc eilf nda cerent at napteit i;tb tel ubt r"einsg no"loes to omer me rae ot ucks i uoy og the lttiel nettpia. .
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Ese fo anc ttah nda ihts in semeevtlsh hsrote raed i shit ophe asptr. Ym eeperixncde setmi ahs ewre shanegc idpemrvo utiifcldf avtsly smoe rltete ra2o-l2ed-y esya;r ilef somlta veif a hgrtwo ni as immseen smlyot ev'i ym i rstfi cisen otrwe ubt and. Ohw tou ot nad ti aemc eadtwn efil i tou treu sohet way none amolst ww()e!h my ttghhou alpn layp dna ncrodietpsi oen nynuf loudw sit' fo. .

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