A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I wn!o os a ifve atht do to ïvnea loglba aesry mnacepdi liwl uoy as + gsesu. .
.
Twrteehsae epril:so i gihh no ym chloos ohsj wiht am ognerl. Ecodiins for us hhicw pu aflnyli of augertda slch,oo ot tobh lcoud decided ned edden in nbieg fo i --dema vhae nershptlioia our tasl ym i bets eary teh. We rtigh dna hpunayp hcea eewr stju ew ehrtgtoe rof net'wer rheto irynceidbl. 'etvnah koepsn esayr to ehs' i eehrt oidng in him ubt won ehop i elwl. .
.
Btes a tnenri gaarmen i:i ptra now tuallcya emt nda raesy my edrni;f an eeobrf swa tlrmawa oonsmee eioplrs ot he i mi' i at rarmdei wsa hwen. "wmt?aalr i slcscai a stfri him on tignh nad swa cnndorcetee ingdta from het ew __"_ meesasdg ppa. In a igwndde lsoa deedn asrehp pu owsv my ttha. .
.
Snifih i ryea stirf !!!)( 3 otu my am of euargatd btuoa jbo colsoh to of. Tath si im' ingtyr hrenaot a ryntecel that aesri tcaf sllit eth gfnsiiatcni ssroepc apy ot pioostin ctecdpae i. .
.
I end hottugh l;ief up reesedcni ta ttha tacf i ahah taht atnhk gondssoe ni nto teh did eiapnpngh lwodu up nde. .
.
No ho oosn ,heya ayn ikds way in llhe mtei inhvga m'i r'thsee. A in fi dci,hl htis evah doen ?nemyooc! noe dan it's od i. .
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Myrnoae was n'tdo las,o crea i batuo ith:ng tbaou ihbasytdr ym neo em tihgr atsp. I ot hlaf dol have the uboat ma i temi ikhtn how. .
.
Sah rorwy tsih ltisl artp fo to me fo rpta it tuaob yntrgi rcembea btu is em gnia,g ahtoern. Ady isowmd i cmseo ofr ilef nad tgrlaefu enepeixcer reevy whihc gae ma wtih. I itecno gtnirats erca i ihtw htta ot sles am msenemily nwmoa me awth iknth wichh dugrlgtse of ruynego i otuab erstoh a as. To go oeonsl" lltis pteinta eht geibn "egirns skcu ;bit eanttip teltil oyu be i lwli dan ot me etl svente a flei era igchtean rnecet btu fi rmoe ta. .
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Nad drae opeh hessemvetl iths anc i ese in siht asprt seroth htat of. Lystav but ipmorvde hrwgot tlrete hcsaegn has ni sy;ear i adn esnci reexdinepec as lad2-eyor-2 ftris mytols ifle a wree mnmeeis mtaosl my dflifutci ym eimts soem 'vei retow ievf. Apln st'i nad ndewat nda !e(wh)w lfei onne hesot ti i uetr fo maolst ym hwo thhtogu alpy ntisdrocpei ot uto owdul one uynnf emac wya tou. .

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