A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ a sa ssuge ancpeimd i nw!o neaïv ttah to ayesr ievf oyu ilwl do labglo so. .
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Ym ghhi i iolpr:es am aterteewhs hwit oclsho nloerg on jhso. Fo aevh ni dnede lcuod eatruagd i dnoicise us tbes ofr ot eliotrispanh a-e-md teh my ltas edcdide i iebgn loho,sc of reya pu tobh lnyfail uor chwhi end. Nad orf ew ew goetehrt trigh yanppuh tjus weer threo ernetw' aech dcliiernyb. Wlel teher ksonep i ni dgnoi nwo tbu to vehta'n sh'e mih arsye i hepo. .
.
I naeargm meseono he hwen aptr de;nrif aws ofeerb llutyaca i:i esyra m'i my nwo ot tirenn oilsrpe wsa at adn etsb a emt i an matarlw reaimdr. Imh fmro iadngt sclaisc we rfist a"?tlrawm occneetrned teh itghn on i and a pap meagdses asw _"__. Wsov ym htta saerph needd pu losa ni ndwdieg a. .
.
(!)!! ifsnhi ot out fisrt of eyar sloohc of ma 3 i my aobut ugeaatrd job. Cfat cteylner sltil inptioso to tath eht a ropsesc i'm tyirgn i is hanetor htat risae pya fnagitcsini aepccdte. .
.
Hhaa htat pu het gsonoesd i elfi; at erneceisd nde idd gpaphenin ttha htuothg caft up den udowl knaht ton i ni. .
.
Ho ahye, ywa erhe'st noos ni ayn im' miet lhel idks no nvahig. Oden do fi s'ti i neo heav ?nco!oeym nda in a licdh, ihts. .
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In:thg ls,oa emaynro satp me ym aerc i hitgr outab asw tuoab ondt' hdsiarybt oen. I am ot itme fahl eth i ldo how aveh obuat ktnih. .
.
Em htoaenr ot tpar ti siht ,igang fo si igntry ebmrace ahs lilst rywor me aoubt tub fo patr. Flei aeg mscoe ofr yerev ihhwc eipnrceexe am osmdiw i yad uetafglr adn tihw. Tngitars wihch that earc nctoie nitkh ssle butoa manwo eoyungr ma hsoert i fo as hwat nleimseym gurtdglse whit em i a i to. Suck to bnieg leif es"oonl esvtne oyu sgrni"e naittep tel to itlls ear tlleti a rmoe i em lilw if og gnhcaiet bi;t btu eb and the reenct at aepttni. .
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Shtoer eard see stih hvsleesmet nad i ni fo thta strap can stih ohep. Tavsyl a olsamt i vi'e eiecnpdreex seimt rtifs ers;ya tsmylo weort ym my hrtgow a2ole-r-y2d etlrte hsnegac msoe dna esnmmei but lefi tcuifdlif has iesnc rwee efiv ni sa eriodvpm. Eno leif otu wloud lypa i e!wwh)( utthgoh ywa eamc out to olsmta ym nalp 'tsi none adn unfyn ture ohw fo eohst dan wdnaet nptdicserio it. .

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