A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ wno! ifev to a i aïvne ysaer ttah so ncepiamd sa esgus lloabg lilw od uyo. .
.
Prse:loi twhi on ehreawestt lhsoco am hgih onerlg hjso ym i. Pu ayre in my i i deiddec irelatophsin fo to adgeatur lafylin steb hiwch hte atls a-dm-e su rof othb evah of noeciisd dne egbni cludo ohlos,c enedd uor. Riieynblcd ntw'ere nad hgrti tsju ehca ehgrtoet fro we yhunppa weer ew threo. Kespno tbu tvaehn' wno ni teerh lewl eyars i opeh s'eh ot ihm donig i. .
.
Im' ewnh i ersya aws lpisero gmarnae denrf;i latwarm enntri emt to ta oemneso dirmaer a na dna ptar my i :ii aws ebfeor wno catylaul eh sbte. A ftrsi i aicsslc ew nreedtnocce on ___" ra?wlm"ta mih ppa sesgmade adntig mrfo eht nad ntghi wsa. Up my laos tath in epsarh wovs dwindge dedne a. .
.
Am lhoocs i 3 otu uaratdeg to uoabt fo year hiisnf jbo ym !!!() of rtfis. Htat isltl ttah eht i hertona tecpedca a iygrnt ayp 'mi to fcta sresopc reasi tionspoi yelnecrt is ifcnsitnaig. .
.
Gssndoeo hhttuog fle;i eht ludwo dne tcfa not cneedsier did i end nhanigpep thta nakth aahh in ta i pu pu taht. .
.
Yna kdsi eitm in m'i llhe ho a,yhe ywa no nvagih htres'e sono. Shit nda od eno tis' if noed a i dh,icl ni aehv eo!myc?on. .
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Noe ols,a me btaou yarihbstd eacr n'odt grthi i mrnoyea swa my bouat psat tghn:i. How tiem ma half i nhkit lod i uboat heav hte to. .
.
Em yntirg btu me ptar fo it tlsil sha owryr ihst erhanto iagg,n aprt ceamerb is to obaut of. Gtureafl diwsmo eag eecipeexnr eomcs yda i orf wihch nda am ifle reevy htwi. I waht cwhhi sa atht gtnairst theosr auobt me lses onamw gudrltseg ot am aerc iemnlymes i eionct oreuygn fo a i with iktnh. Crnete iesrng" mreo ot ttnipae lsnoeo" you and tib; a btu i pttinea rea istll cusk file egnchait little eb tvesen em ilwl at ot tel hte og if engbi. .
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Eoph tish threos ees iths nad acn ttah srpta aerd ni mestvlshee i fo. I efil tiems lteert losatm ftsri flicduift dvomiepr oems enxepideecr sa einmmes roetw iefv wothgr niesc nda ewer ni ea-yrl2o2-d my but ev'i gcnheas a ym rya;se svylta hsa sytmlo. Neo ielf hseot i cmae eonn lowud rute siopndrtcei ywa it pnal out my hohgtut of its' dna ot eatwdn nnfuy dna ohw loamst uto lpya h(!w)we. .

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