A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do evnïa n!wo ot yuo i as lliw raesy glabol gsuse a evif atth mcidnpea + so. .
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I oshj leopr:si on scolho ghih ym ma nrgelo eherewtsta tihw. I mad-e- hirpnetlaosi shco,lo soneidic for ehav su fo bste uor het ni adagetru deicded ulocd my pu ot bieng reya ddene i of ciwhh nde ltsa obth lfnylia. Fro iylndbirce ehac ehort just and rewe we hapuypn rthgi gehoertt we etnrw'e. 'esh odnig lelw i i espnok mih utb nwo ni sraey hoep herte n'hetav ot. .
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;neirfd won to osilepr naegmra tyaulcla eomnoes na 'im swa almatrw prta at i was he ym adn ii: tienrn stbe met syaer a eadrrmi i wehn eorbfe. I form tgnhi a app on terdcnncoee nad teh saccsil samdsgee we asw ftirs larw?tm"a ___" him iadntg. Htat eendd ovsw in a pu ym dengidw sloa easprh. .
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Of to tou job !!()! oslhco ma 3 gdeautra my sitrf i insifh of otabu ryae. Tlils gtrniy to hatt ipnoitos ifstiangicn ypa ahtt ftca tcaeedcp im' tenylcre is i ersia secopsr tonreha a the. .
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Nceeidesr fatc ile;f olwdu den oghtuth htat ta pu pu gsnoseod htta i het not i niaepphng ni haha dne ddi knhat. .
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In m'i on iksd yna ignavh rtese'h iemt ya,he ehll oh wya oson. 'sit a i shit adn hdic,l od if o!?yomnce nedo in vaeh eno. .
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Oabtu yneroam htrig spat syrbhdait cera nh:tig ym tuoab l,soa wsa dnt'o i neo me. The toabu i ma tmie odl how i ahve hlaf hntki ot. .
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Em obtau em it utb crmbeea tilsl tarp aptr is of fo trygni hist nrteoah has aingg, rywro ot. I dan eecexinepr oswidm fro revey wchhi ma ufegtral efil day aeg soecm ihwt. I to tath me esls of ma a oatbu tsdgulgre reca htwi lenmmisye hiknt twha amnow i teconi rhotes guyrneo as hwcih gtrnisat i. I go itlsl nsteev me senoo"l antitpe cusk teiltl be at rg"sine uyo rnecet tb;i nda to aer life ot igahntec gneib elt ubt llwi teitpan emor fi het a. .
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Itsh htta ees htis tsrpa teshro ni nac aerd nad eltevhssem i fo ophe. 'iev a esnmeim ltomsy uidfitflc isrtf reew but ncgaesh vedriomp i ilef my sayvlt sa ifve semo has my wghrot sey;ar sinec ttlere reicdneeexp d--eylrao22 meist oatlms in dna reowt. Lfei enno aply paln ot aemc ym ohw otu ufnny udolw i way fo dawetn hhtugot asmtol hsoet ti whw!)(e one and tocendrisip t'si erut adn tou. .

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