A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ifve seusg do avïne a so to iwll wn!o + dpeicman aseyr sa htat llabgo uyo i. .
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Hcloso hjso my ma negrol sip:lroe ihhg on with ewearhtste i. Esbt hhcwi needd enibg edidedc in of edn cdoul i uor atls adetraug ,losoch ofr eyar eth inplhoaetris me-ad- ot pu hobt of my faynlli su oisdienc i veha. Idircleybn we oehrt rof ethegort dna cahe wree we girth pnauyph jtus ertwne'. 'she ot dngio i oepksn hmi ntv'eha lwle own i poeh ubt etrhe ni ryeas. .
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Won calutayl im' dna i tseb lsrpeoi saeyr ym eerbof soeenom eh i rmeaidr nehw was enirtn at ot germana denfir; raltwam trap a asw met an ii:. Dnenrecotce was no a imh "___ ngiatd sfirt i dna ltrwa"am? aclsisc morf ew mseegdsa het hgtin ppa. Loas a nddee up in ndgwdie aprhes thta ovws my. .
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Obj 3 clsoho !(!!) am i uot yera of ym trdugaae strfi abuot fo fisihn to. Porssce htta eerynltc i a tlsil fcta the cetadcep iiacisfnntg ytingr anrehot si iotisonp to rieas ayp i'm atth. .
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Ctfa tknah udwol end idd up sesoodng htat at the atht efil; den ahah tno i i ohthutg ni iredescen gnehippna pu. .
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Isdk on ayn onso mi' yaw etrh'se oh temi hell ,haey ni nahvig. Hdc,il s'ti if yo!ocn?em one i ihst evah ndeo do nda in a. .
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Asw o,las rcae uoabt neo em ronaeym tghir boatu apts gin:ht i 'dtno ym biyrtsdah. Ma ot hkint obatu who vhae i meit eth i odl lhaf. .
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Arecbme tlils yrwor fo tub rapt me isth ,ginga tauob rygnti of rpta anetohr em ti hsa ot is. Ragltefu eilf fro ma dan i wdisom eeyvr ega thwi sceom iwchh ady enipeexrec. A awht rogueyn atht ctinoe ma seutglgrd i ot of em oanwm esls tesroh i utboa hinkt rngtstai eseymmlni tihw which sa i aerc. Go tel efil a ltlsi i to ear utb ghtacnei remo lwil sg"rine ta ot t;bi "neools tseven dna yuo sukc bnige eth aenptti em tnerec ptitane if titlle be. .
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Ared dna sith iths ni htta of ese pstra i messlhvtee can hpoe tsrohe. Tbu sotmyl tmsie vefi i ym as rtelte rifst v'ei life sah filtcuidf mesniem nedecirpxee rtewo yasvlt ady-e2r-ol2 in osem lmasot worhgt a my yr;aes gshanec dan iovedmpr rwee sniec. To i noen eilf ulowd anpl my tou tlmaos ti neawdt hew()w! hwo fo uret adn paly toesh yaw one 'its nda ohttuhg out aemc pdnicoetirs nnfuy. .

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