A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ a yuo ot llwi sseug mpdaeinc !now i eifv yarse as os vnaïe do ttah ogalbl. .
.
No hihg twih oplr:eis josh nrogel i slhcoo serttehawe my ma. Ieiocnds i ned oisphietalnr ,hoclso us i in md-a-e fo lats tbho of wchhi ilfnayl needd adtraegu bnige estb arye vhae orf uro ym culod dcedide the ot pu. Tgihr rof htero dan uhaypnp jtus hcea netw're eewr cdenlybrii ew we tothreeg. Hpeo nkepso i btu elwl ysare ni mhi etrhe i 'nathev own inodg ot 'hse. .
.
Ot dan i 'im ym orfbee an aacltyul wsa atpr wno reays i:i i lsieopr id;ernf eh aegmarn tem wsa ninetr sbte at wehn raawtml deramri oeemons a. Gitdna __"_ lissacc hmi tfsir a and detcneecnro morf ppa swa hgtni hte no a"?ltawmr i mgeadses ew. Eendd a htta salo iddwneg ym wvos ni rehspa pu. .
.
Tuo srfit ym atuob ma arey to i hclsoo hsinif job 3 !!!)( of of gtarudae. Areis ltlsi ttah ypa a ttah ftac yirngt rtnhoae ceryltne ot im' pccdeeta oiotpins eth i sopersc is insciftgani. .
.
Il;ef dne eth in ont paiehngpn i hnatk lwuod taht ghuhtto ahah eeinscerd ta nde did pu hatt i ondegsso up fact. .
.
Ni kisd awy meit eh,ya eesh'tr oh im' lehl hnvaig nya soon no. Dan do ni i avhe it's ?ye!oomnc li,dhc thsi eon edon a fi. .
.
Htgir aspt ubaot rbatyisdh rmayneo me one i sao,l crea asw htig:n ubtao ym n'odt. The aveh aflh to am i owh uotba i old eitm knith. .
.
Rnaetoh rapt oaubt rmbceae orwyr ahs gitrny tbu si ltisl sthi em fo rpat naigg, of me ot it. Wmiosd i life frultgea omecs ady am yvree orf hitw dna eag hhwic reepcnxeei. Inoetc a less twih ichhw bauto crea itkhn neyurgo fo rsetho as nmmeeliys i ttah omnwa wath me gudrlsteg giastntr ot i am i. Let ltlsi era petitna oesnl"o me nrsg"ei llwi cneetr utb meor nad be tillet go eifl ib;t ot fi bgeni ta yuo ot a i eht nevtes kscu tniatep gehciant. .
.
Shit anc nad i fo tish ese ssmvleethe prats epho oreths ni read ttah. Sa nda xderienpeec rotwgh hasengc dictifufl ei'v ifve ewer sha elif r;asey metis ysoltm lsavyt tbu in ym d2-2oe-arly rwtoe a i eltetr nicse rvempoid oatmsl first soem niseemm ym. Uto lapn luodw ohw i eon to is't etru uto dan neno of dna toehs uyfnn slmaot it maec ym feil !hew)w( utthogh awtned pneitrcodis way alpy. .

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