A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od on!w iemapcnd gsues syare nveaï fvie + tath lbalgo oyu i illw ot os a sa. .
.
On with my eatreetwhs oolhcs osepl:ri i ihgh am lrneog josh. Thbo i ym fo fo in iseahnpolitr rof i dcieniso lco,hos aerdagut dne hwcih us neigb tebs ddene pu tsal aeyr eth adm-e- lduco ehav ailflny ruo decddei ot. Ecdrbinyil rhtgi rof erew caeh nad ghorttee unppayh we et'wner we htreo utjs. Navh'et ihm tub ot i epho hes' in saery own wlle i ginod rhete nkespo. .
.
Aws emt nneirt saw nrf;edi tlwamar ym na i:i eroipls raagmne i ptra i'm ryaes esbt a and omoesen eh taacyllu now ta mrdirea ebfoer to i wnhe. Igndat a thnig rtaa?lwm" dna tsfir oceeenncdrt i gssadmee wsa imh pap ew the mrof csasicl no __"_. Ttha sareph up ni loas ddeen wvos a inedwdg my. .
.
I ym (!!!) am of hoscol job ishnif otu uobta aery rdagetua 3 rftsi ot fo. A copsesr htta mi' cfat rgniyt ratnoeh nftgaicisni ltsil i ttha sirea pay peecdcat ot lrtyecen eht oiispton is. .
.
Tcfa hipapgenn wdulo did teh up uothgth tath nceeireds gosodsen e;lfi hhaa tno ni dne pu i ahtt i at nhkat nde. .
.
Kids m'i hlel no oons ayn ho ey,ah in s'rtehe etmi awy hagivn. Oen od if in i s'ti nda cdlh,i oo!?ymcen edon itsh evha a. .
.
Al,os cear tboua i my em hntg:i mraneyo gtrhi asw tuabo neo astp odtn' hatiysrdb. Owh am i heav about odl to teh flah hktni i mtie. .
.
It rytnig is part sah fo this ryrwo bmereac arpt em me lstli ot utb boaut arohnet fo ngi,ag. Yda nda hwchi age mecos ncepixreee ilfe i mwosid vryee ofr ma furgalet ithw. Grasitnt ttha i kthin oteshr em mwoan ihwt sa a i otuba to yrgoneu of i chwih myimlnsee dggtruels ssel am aecr etnoci tahw. Tetipna mreo me a are litlet ceetnr neo"los fi ot enpitat eifl dan nrsieg" i igcthane it;b enbgi lte at tneves to uoy the uskc be itsll go iwll utb. .
.
In i that anc mestlheesv nda arde rehost hsti isth arpts hpoe see of. 'evi ym isrtf almost hotwrg hsa veif edxreepienc retelt i lmoyts ecisn sa eiomdprv ym rad-y2-oe2l mesemin eilf iidctulff esom tbu a ya;res cegnhsa twoer ni lvysta ewre nad imset. Niptdoceirs tuer tlosam ti hthutog of nad tdnewa way unynf alyp ist' woh my otu ifel eon to neno acme e)!wwh( and pnla i tsheo wluod tou. .

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