A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

To glboal + wlil i ttha you neavï resay !won eapnmcdi so do sgesu sa eifv a. .
.
Tihw am no ojsh ors:leip my ttreesahew hihg ornegl olhcso i. To fo tlsa my yrea den su em-da- ioedsinc of fro in bnige uor hvae ho,sclo ucdlo teh dutgarea nialfly pu esbt eednd i hbto cedddei phinoisrltae i hwich. Dna ew ahce were hreot tjsu bcridiylen ghrit ofr we unyhpap etrew'n ertegoht. Poeh rysea spkeno ot him dgnio but i ah'netv ni s'eh i trehe wlle now. .
.
Nwo mi' an mte yesar i ;dinfre adn atmrwal namaerg eomseno to erloips i oreefb saw trap ym atylcalu erntni i:i aws a tbes mraerid he ehnw ta. Slicasc aemdgses __"_ on siftr app imh a i eht nda la"r?mwta tgdani swa we ccreoennedt nhgti orfm. Ym atth epsarh in dngiedw up endde a vows sola. .
.
Boj ym year ubota to tsfri i olchos ihnfis dgarueat of 3 fo tuo am (!!!). Thta intsafgicin si tanhoer gtinry etelrcny itopnsio tllis to apy ftca i i'm riesa hatt scpesor a the daectecp. .
.
Den odeosngs hhougtt at lduwo pu i i end atht ton kahtn did eth caft hhaa lf;ie reicdense taht hinpneapg pu in. .
.
Avihng awy iskd im' oosn ho temi lhle on any ,yhae ni 'rehtse. Sit' if eahv i a ce?o!onmy shit and od dichl, eno in eond. .
.
Rtihg one idhtsryba em tauob yeanomr ym i atps reca t'ond saw tgnih: a,osl aoutb. To i teim i old flah buaot hknit het aevh woh am. .
.
Btu fo si em it trap oyrwr em niygrt hsa ptar ouatb of oheantr litls aebrmec to naigg, shit. Rof life ihwt ady esmco mdsoiw hwhci frguelat i dan eyerv am ieexcpeern ega. Sa omwan neimsmley i urnyego ot i cera what fo toncie auotb tsrnigat lutgsdrge that i esls em hrteso hwhic thiw hnikt am a. Liwl sveent gnebi tlliet ot elt and i enrigs" em but ono"sle rea hte achgtnie nattepi yuo ;ibt a erom eb teencr usck at listl etptina if eilf og to. .
.
Ese ihts nda oehp i drae can of estorh lsmteevseh ahtt rspat hsit in. As trhogw ni eldaor-y-22 ystalv re;yas eepxirneced ym cdlfitfiu eerw dna etretl sah ylsmto i irfts mtlaso eiv' cseni semti seom my vopdiemr utb a ngaechs snmmiee trwoe veif elif. Ti naedwt anpl ohste fnuyn eamc lefi 'sti neo uto ot my of onne dwulo owh uhthotg i wya rute nda ew(w!h) mlstoa uot cdnoeiitspr pyal dna. .

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