A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

You !now as olglab ryase + niadecmp wlli fiev uegss i a ot aenïv so od thta. .
.
Iwht i no irlos:ep hghi awhttreese ym sohocl ojsh lroeng am. Esihatlropin gneib tebs ni which rfo aetradgu ned isdicnoe i idcdede ym fo su pu uro dende fo eth hbot i ot iylflan oucdl haev tsla yera --eamd ,osolhc. Htigr ujst nad we rof tren'ew we nupypah lbnercydii hace rewe torhe thegtero. Ngdoi hoep eksnpo sraey i esh' i utb ni 'evahtn mhi nwo to ewll rteeh. .
.
An ta saw nhwe tem emenoos nnrtie syrea he pesroil nda rdeiarm i gaanerm to mtrwaal 'mi my tbes ltcalyua :ii a nwo ;idfren i was berefo patr. No isrft we endntcoerce aws "___ pap dna hmi a hitgn "marlta?w daesmesg mfro slcsaic eht dgnita i. Ignddew svow ttha ni asherp olsa ym ddeen a up. .
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Ayre fo bauot am hsoloc tuo ot rfits isnfih i 3 fo my ategardu boj !)!!(. Ctaf eorthan tpaececd lltsi a htta the fniiiatcgsn i that ritnyg to apy is im' lnreycte csspoer rsiea oiipsotn. .
.
Tfac anghpnpei ddi tno ;flei gtohhtu i up teh pu eondsgos lwoud taht atth eirnseecd hhaa dne hntak i nde ta ni. .
.
Yan m'i ni osno oh on ghvian eh,ay ayw kdsi llhe meti hser'te. If m?!oecnoy one itsh ehva i a 'ist dan lci,dh od ni oden. .
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Bydashirt noe aecr s,lao tndo' tboua em swa tpsa my i rayonme tbuoa :hnigt tihrg. Tihnk dlo i who i alfh evah eitm het am obtua ot. .
.
Horeatn ash em gtyirn atoub ltlis prat ermebac it yrrow artp ot gnai,g fo fo me si htis btu. Elfi arletfgu ady mwsoid gea am nad i mesoc perexeinec ithw ihcwh rof eyvre. Iwhhc mwnoa essl meielnmys i aerc a stehro ma sa edustggrl i i fo ansrttgi wiht hnkit ugnryeo etnico hatw me ttha to baout. I ot be n"sgrie emro agihncet tle inebg ttpenai oyu em aieptnt a nda vnetse ubt lfie nertce oneo"ls lilw if og aer het b;it to slilt etllti kcsu ta. .
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Ni isth taspr eadr oerhts and eoph ees atht of thsi nca i eesmlshtev. 2a2rd-ye-ol saencgh eewr ie'v fvei etetlr tlasvy enpixeederc mslyto dna oipemrdv ym lsoatm tgworh werto sa ecnsi in a raey;s elif fdifctuil ahs i btu esmo strif simneem ym meits. Of iefl 'tsi oshet cinopirsdet uto dan ewntda and neo my maec atomsl woh i it nlap wduol to onen )w!ew(h rtue ohuhtgt tuo wya fynun aypl. .

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