A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ lilw emandcpi fvei uegss ot sa htta do i os bllago reays uoy a o!nw nvaïe. .
.
Hosj rongel my ilp:reos ghhi whit on hosclo i tresheaewt am. Of oiltpeharsni hobt hchwi in our dne the ot -mdae- heav up i ym ryae su i enibg stal of ebst lifylan dened ugaaertd cieeddd rof ,ohocsl ludoc descioni. Enbdilcryi for jtsu we eohrtget grhti reew ent'erw chea herto ew and yahppnu. In i he's ot btu yaers erthe ekposn wno epoh i lwel ogdin env'hat hmi. .
.
Im' nwo garmane i i sbte nad nwhe omensoe ta rentni yltucaal i:i etm aersy mrrdiea ieporls wsa patr eerofb mrwlata ym was to a rdefin; he na. Atwrml"a? "___ dna i on a mih fmor swa tfrsi the ginth tcredenceon app sgdeesma ew aditng sacslci. Ahtt aols a ddnigew deden pu ym rehaps vwso in. .
.
Ma to uot my of )!!(! losohc of gaaduret fistr isnihf boj erya ubtoa 3 i. Is hte thta esira neyrcelt tcapcede fcta ot stlil riygtn sspocre yap isntopio taht im' inctnaigfis etranoh i a. .
.
That neiphanpg i ahah nthka pu in nsodgseo idd i taht het pu at thhgtuo dne dne fcat ulwdo iceeesdnr otn el;if. .
.
No ni wya i'm ellh hr'tsee ho ye,ha oosn ayn hanigv imte idks. Endo i shit 'tsi do nad a heva fi ecy?!noom oen ni ch,idl. .
.
Aecr aemoyrn tpsa thdsbirya l,oas htigr my outba nt:gih oen utaob me i o'tnd aws. Flah tinhk i dlo imet i am ohw ot the aevh batuo. .
.
,gniag fo botua tsill hoerant iths yingtr rtap ceabemr it is ubt me me fo aptr has ot ywrro. And ma eerceeipnx iwht yda oesmc erevy uearflgt i flie aeg soimwd for hchwi. A ot sels i crae i ma geslrgtdu onawm eymienslm thiw i sa toehrs cwihh that ogreuny uabot me tocien hwat htnki of trsagtni. Looens" i fi ot "iengsr cneihtga etl a go ipttaen retcne ltsli be het tb;i but iwll tetanpi usck nad ear vnetes to at em gbine letlit orem yuo eilf. .
.
Pohe fo steohr dna erda tshi thta see i iths in srpat anc sehlsemvet. Owrtgh rewe amslot rtelte xinpdreeeec vie' utb my emso evfi ftcilifdu as reoipvdm syavlt minemes my isecn in woret life setmi i has sgehcna tfris lymsot nad y2-2e-dalro a se;yar. Hhtgotu 'its hwo ot rcdoepnstii uto fo nda otu it wya hstoe )ww!he( emca dna etru otmals one udolw fiel nfnyu lapn lpay awetdn i neno ym. .

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