A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Gaollb ot a wn!o od ivef uoy liwl ugses rsyea i + nveïa so htta indpmaec as. .
.
I whit ohsj cohlos rsateehtwe hihg ym irsp:leo ma no glenro. Nde pu atsl eayr to ngieb ni bhto ucdlo su ocdinsei oru hvea dceiedd sinprateihlo i ihwhc aetadugr adm-e- fo of etbs i the fro yanflli clhsoo, ym eednd. Rfo weer adn ew stju te'erwn hgitr denrcliyib chea ghtteeor ohtre hyauppn ew. Ohep ehter vhate'n s'eh dniog ot him aeyrs won pnkseo lwle i in i tub. .
.
Etsb ii: ayltlcau eh rni;fde m'i yreas wsa aws dan eeborf eritnn my enwh now ot mrwaatl ioseprl met a earmagn an rdmiaer ta prta i onoeems i. I nhgit mr?ala"tw a essdagem dan ihm ew ppa no was fistr orfm eth sacilsc oecetnrnced _"__ nagitd. Hapres losa vsow tath ndeed a ym ni up idgnedw. .
.
My tou to ryae i hsolco (!!)! uabot of fo job ifnhsi ma ifstr 3 tuegraad. Atht sointiop cossper to atedpcce itsll eth grynti a i reyenclt aires ttah pay im' erontha catf si naitisnfigc. .
.
Dne cisdrenee ton aahh gssndoeo up up i fil;e end uodlw nhkat eth i in hinepnagp tgohthu cfat ta idd taht atht. .
.
Ghinva 'im dsik in a,hey etim ehll any oons awy oh 'hesrte on. I sti' dneo tihs if in eon yo!emc?no dna dl,ihc a do aehv. .
.
Nreyoam aspt ritgh aws em eon i 'dtno aotub ym h:gtni aerc rbsihtday ol,sa aobtu. Nkith eht ma lhaf i evah mtei ot i oubat how odl. .
.
Me wyorr boaut of aptr sha to me fo ia,gng iltls ertnoha but bercaem nrgity ti part si tsih. Evyer dna wchhi htwi age dya iwmods exeeinprce teugfrla i ma rfo cemso elfi. Less ot hknti fo twih yisenlmme erngouy ihcwh i ma atth eitonc etggrslud nmwoa em as arce htsoer uobta gatrtnis atwh a i i. Eb anithceg to tvesne etl ltltie ltlis uoy and no"seol will at usck ebing i ear ;bti etcner eht irn"ges tpitaen to utb meor em og a fi etintpa ilef. .
.
Htat in ese lveetsmhes dna hpeo itsh fo i rdae sthi artsp hotrse acn. Ielf iltcfduif cnsghae tsrfi i ya;sre 2--yr2laeod esmo rhgtow vysatl ym and a lrtete nisce omtlsa wtore ym v'ei rdvipoem in sa ndpxreiceee mosytl timse ivef sah ubt semmnei weer. W)!wh(e wdulo its' pdcieotrisn lpna heots uyfnn ot yaw utre ti uto oen thohutg cmea of i twedna hwo iefl ym olstma uot nneo plya nad dan. .

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