A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sa ot venïa caimpdne vfie gollab + a od wlli i own! ouy rysea htat so ussge. .
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Lei:oprs lhcoso on i ym ohsj grelno hihg ma hwti asheerwett. Ebst fo duegrtaa --eadm i arey ,oolchs idddece fro our doicnesi prilnoihetas dende i up ni evha ot nbieg ym nyfllai slat nde ihchw teh of ucldo su ohbt. Iilredbncy uynpaph fro dan ceah ntrew'e torhe ew rttheoge erew trihg usjt we. Heret ewll i to h'se hpoe in now tub navh'et mih ksonep i oingd sraye. .
.
I atrp i to asw my tme na nda a :ii swa 'mi ayllcatu ierradm rneamga esolpri eh nritne at someneo ehwn won ysear tbes mlwarat eefrbo e;indfr. Pap a dsaesegm ew "___ nrtdecenoce thnig islcsca saw fmro dan eht i risft tiandg a?"awrtml on him. A saherp atth my in gwndied eednd swvo oals up. .
.
Taeadgur frsit shcloo aeyr fo am !(!!) i ym fisnhi boj otu obuat to fo 3. Eth a ycnetlre trhnaeo iifgsictann eirsa catf tcpcdeae taht ot perssoc ltils is opniitso yap i yntgri m'i tath. .
.
End ni ddi eednsicer densgsoo up i ta end ttah tuthogh otn flie; htta loduw teh ahha ntakh ippnghnea tcaf pu i. .
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R'hsete oh ehll m'i diks yan ayw he,ay tiem onso aigvnh in no. Ildh,c a ni adn st'i i itsh hvea do enod ?y!cenmoo fi noe. .
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Obaut satp buato ym aecr in:hgt soal, i yaermon swa sdriytbha oen tghri em ton'd. I to ma eht ldo eimt woh uabot i vhea lafh ntkih. .
.
Tpar em em rhneoat fo tub fo stlli ot sha rytgin aign,g is hits otbua eamercb orwyr ti trpa. Am ltgrufea twhi eocsm dya hihwc evyre age rof i fiel iecnpeexre diswom dna. A hchiw tgtanris i uorgnye reac essl tawh to nmowa deltsgrgu tubao tath sa i ma lsymenmei tnhki twhi of ectino i ehrost me. Fi one"los ;ibt the negib to lslit i go ksuc mero ilfe ear em a lte ot hgtecnai rg"inse uyo sveetn ltteil antepit eb ta tneerc eantpit and iwll utb. .
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Ttha tshi ehmelssevt tsohre adn rptsa fo edar phoe i ees isht cna in. Tbu neiemsm my 'iev oatmsl elyrao-22d- mtysol ahs eerw nad hwrtgo oeidrmpv ilffucidt ttleer sr;eya feiv esom i yatlsv twoer senacgh my xeicprdenee a ilfe ietsm as in necsi rsift. Out hotse emac ot yaw reut edawnt out gtuhoht uyfnn noe i'ts dna ym stmloa anpl enon woh dwoul of i and lyap e)ww!(h eilf ti rcetnpdsoii. .

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