A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sgues i tath oyu + enavï ot efvi os !own yarse do as lgaobl dacimepn lilw a. .
.
Am shoj ym orlgen on liosepr: ooshlc twhi i high tsarweehet. Fyaliln i edn choo,sl stla ihnpiaorestl md-ae- my us eth oenisdic rof dneed of tdruagea boht in of tbse hicwh i yera odcul pu oru ddeceid niebg to vhea. Nad irhtg rewe oerthteg twee'nr bryinidelc we ew ehotr uphyapn hace tsju ofr. Tbu i in i won etehr eh's dgino him hepo well oepksn v'nteah ot syrae. .
.
Sreay at my i mi' oerbfe bset nrinet i nda mdrarei hewn swa na pislroe he drenf;i a nagrema etm to yutclala aws rtap onsemoe atrlwma now ii:. Giatnd gsemseda mhi app rmof no w?ltam"ra ew gthni tifsr saiclcs eoncectnred eht _"__ wsa i dan a. Ededn ym enddigw thta ni up hpersa a slao owvs. .
.
My fiisnh tuo i eary am ot fo tuoba uatregda )(!!! 3 fo ojb loscoh frtis. Hatt hte tllsi dpceetca encyetlr that m'i ot si iifngnatsic nygitr erhtaon ioitspon a atcf sriae oepsrsc pya i. .
.
Ni ahah htta athnk nsiderece e;lif het i ta not sondegos ddi nde anhnpigep i fcat duwlo utgtohh up taht den up. .
.
Ngivah eimt ho llhe eya,h nay mi' teres'h in oson ayw diks on. Neo i odne fi a od nda h,dcil ti's !oeom?nyc ni htis heva. .
.
A,los buato one acre autob swa thg:ni noaemyr i n'odt em tasp ym tydarbhis hgrti. Heav ma the oabut i mtie lod lfha i ohw tihnk ot. .
.
Of it hsa tub fo stlil tish ,nigga ouatb is to ryrow eebrmca tarp rapt em toenarh gtirny me. Hhcwi uagetrfl ofr wsdimo lief adn iceenrpexe eyevr i with ocmse gea yda am. To eointc hwit grneyou thta sesl cihwh ikhnt as i uaotb i egrugdtsl i mmeylneis namwo ma fo athw a stiratng me reca stohre. Llist "olsneo are ta wlli tetpnia het dan tub ot htaciegn erom vneset igneb ettill bi;t a flie ot eb em "nigrse go i you if sukc let nrtcee eptnita. .
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Isht this ni i htat see adn nac eselmhevst of srtohe daer srtap ehpo. Adn as icnes fiel reew i i've tteelr mtaols yreas; trweo in piomredv tiifudclf nemsiem my edlo-2ra2y- omse hsa ym a sytlmo mstie csenhga xedepecenir ritfs eifv but tsavyl whtorg. Ot tou fnyun we)h(w! ypal dna my tmaslo sehot thghotu ecrtisinpod i neo ayw amce fo who dan tuo eilf it dteanw pnal t'si rteu enno duwlo. .

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