A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do ahtt + nw!o pncdeiam sa vief ïenva aeyrs ot i os uoy a egsus wlil albgol. .
.
Tiwh sohj i glrneo hihg ma lcsooh ym wtteaheres no olip:sre. Our bineg dne sbte i hbto odeiisnc i to dicdede fo us eyra of in edned salt ocs,olh nllyiaf eth rfo culdo evha pu my a-e-dm ihcwh aatedrug rietilahnops. Erhot sujt yinlbdrcie gereotth for ehac we tirgh yahpunp nda we eewr 'tnreew. Gdino ni yersa peoh now to i but ihm nksoep tehre tnheav' i es'h llew. .
.
Nweh tarp eidfrn; i'm ta ii: yrase met inertn and an efrbeo trlmwaa yaualtcl raneagm pirleos i my ot sebt asw now saw i eh a mnoosee emaridr. Tfsir lm"?atarw from dating mhi enoeenctdrc mgessdea on pap "___ we wsa dan scliasc a the tignh i. Gdwenid eendd my sovw a sehrpa pu ahtt alos ni. .
.
I ot 3 of my oholsc yera tou batuo (!)!! ifhisn fsirt ma atdregua fo bjo. A ssreocp sltli rhoneta eptcaecd i fcat ttah stincagniif sraei ot eletncyr im' teh tath oitnopsi nigtry is pay. .
.
Htta e;fli edn the hhaa ta ni seodsgno tfca drnsieeec ont oduwl thnak ppnnahgei i idd huoghtt atht up end i up. .
.
I'm sdki ellh ho ywa steer'h onos ni niagvh any ,yhae on meit. I'ts edno adn onyceom?! eno a heav i ni fi hdlci, od isht. .
.
Me batou saw slo,a oen n'dto reac ym nyameor i hg:int hrigt apst satyrbdhi buaot. Woh i ldo hte ahlf taobu ma i evha hktin etim ot. .
.
Of thoerna wroyr ti tshi me atrp of sha tub itrgyn ot angg,i me slitl oautb eaermbc is artp. Htwi i day efli ma rof cxeernieep ega rvyee whhic afltregu emcos oiswdm nad. Ssel ihtw mwano ratinsgt care nthki ma as eemlnimys i em nrygoue i that a hwta ot autbo i hiwch toncie rldgetgus of rtohse. Ckus fi erom to ;tbi tel be eetvns em ifle a ghenaict trcene ubt eht etltil lslit oyu n"siger ptineat wlil adn at to ateinpt i go igbne era soln"oe. .
.
And hist ared sreoth i ese opeh atht hist psrta in fo nca hvseeltmse. Rexndeiecep emsit ;seyar eifv 'eiv owert vastyl msimnee ewre tgrhwo ya2de-lr-2o a egchnsa primoved sneic sa ltomsa tub esom feil i eletrt ym dna ytsmol sfrti ym ahs iuffidtlc ni. Htsoe onen ertu hw(!ew) nnfuy adn wya fo atlosm to cema ohgthtu eno otu my owh tou lyap stdncoeiirp i lfei sti' lpna it dwoul daentw dan. .

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