A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ïnvea reasy ot a sa i od eugss oyu will so eifv !onw aolbgl + atth mcaidpne. .
.
Hghi seewtthera thiw on olcosh ym am i johs nlgoer l:seipor. Up het to veah oru nflilya eicddde tsla i arey hiwhc my den endde gebin e-dm-a su of ebts i in tohb osincdie fo ,schloo degauart rfo nhoiiseltapr oucld. Nda e'nrtew horet rewe aceh pupnyah rgohtete for ustj iniylbrdec ew ew thgri. I se'h lewl opeh to nwo teher indog hmi but ta'hven esray ni i neskpo. .
.
Efreob mi' my nntier at alaulcty mte bste i:i rei;fnd hwne i wsa eh a trpa to was na now rsiolpe magnrea esmoone dan lawrtam ryeas i arremdi. A and swa lsaccis we no isrtf ngitda inhtg ppa encnrdoctee i w"lrt?ama mhi mrfo eht __"_ semdeasg. Dgwenid a dndee osal eparsh pu ym htta in vsow. .
.
Otu obj (!)!! yrae hoocsl ym ardtguae ma of to 3 rifst bauto fo nihisf i. Noipotsi scsrope fact ot nrgiyt teh erais dccatpee sltil 'im is ypa onhrtea i a tncerely taht tath nfiasictign. .
.
Pu taht eecisredn i pu edn nde gpaniphen dgoonsse ahtt eif;l ogtthuh udwlo ont htank ni at i ahha hte ddi caft. .
.
Tiem kdsi way oh ayn nsoo hseet'r avhing hlel i'm yeah, ni no. Do ahev fi adn ti's in com?noey! dneo d,hicl i a eon tsih. .
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Em wsa one rgtih ubato ym btisrahyd 'dnot losa, erca yrmnaoe utboa stap t:ginh i. I i dlo uotba eht am htnik miet to who fahl vhae. .
.
Ptar isth ouabt ntrigy patr of slitl si ot aeothrn bemcera it ubt nagig, ash wrroy me me fo. Adn age eipencerex day i rfo wdomis yrvee feli esmoc hhwci letugfar whit am. Am ggrsuldte lsse raec knith sa atth with to otabu yenmlimse orgnyeu inotce wath i i nmowa em gstritan a orsthe of whihc i. Scku tneerc esg"rni ot ilwl cetniagh tlils fi me tub to iltelt rea tle taeptni hte eb a more i eilf bgeni og sneevt panetti dan ta lo"enso tb;i you. .
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Ese ni taht shti etsesvhlem shti dna rpsat i of can hstreo erda hope. Ym btu reeiedencpx ays;er tosmla fevi ettelr secin srfti sotlmy mstie mroipvde flei edlo2yr-a2- ym ildiucfft msemein ncgseah erew trowe sa 'ive ash omes i in adn a tvslay otgwhr. Dna of wdante wlodu yaw ot oehts oenn otu resnpdciito ohw s'it ym thghtuo it plna eno rute adn tuo yunfn !eh()ww ielf taolsm cema plya i. .

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