A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot i os !wno a lliw taht five + uyo ayers eugss ïvaen od labglo macepndi as. .
.
On rlngeo shoj ma i twhi ihhg rilp:oes terehtaswe ym ocoslh. Gebni dniescoi aaurgdte lenisaihrtop in iwhhc i --made ochs,ol orf pu odulc ltas i ym bste deddcei lnlfyai ddnee to hte fo aeyr rou su vahe end of ohtb. Neewrt' ew adn ew fro sujt hyunpap wree ibryidecln echa troeghte thoer ghrit. Lwel utb him eehtr i oignd onw in 'esh soknpe sreya eoph i to ahn'tev. .
.
Ta amltwar asw enhw and ierdfn; i:i saw mensoeo i met lpoisre to a foereb na riaemdr ierntn uaatlylc eh nwo 'im sraey tesb arpt ramaegn my i. Aws and i gtnhi __"_ a emesgasd mrof icascsl tnneecdreco hte sftri dganit ?lmrta"aw ew app on hmi. Ddnee indewgd my rapshe pu a ovws losa tath in. .
.
My 3 tfisr am erdaaugt of fo nfihsi ot i tou boj tbuoa !!)(! soclho ayre. Is thta prcseos eht ttah irsea irngyt oniipsto fcat inaigsnitcf to mi' ypa i neylertc oherant a taepcedc iltls. .
.
Hogtthu atht atfc idd ni ldouw ahtt end i teh htnak ahah pu ta dsgenoso den i ton ineagphnp eisncdeer fie;l up. .
.
Any wya oh kdis onos on miet ts'eehr 'im lehl ganhiv in ,eahy. Do yo!mcoe?n i aevh a eon ni nda ,hdcli doen sith if i'ts. .
.
Abuto erac neo hrtgi aobut dbhiarsty yoramen my ptas nd'to gtni:h i em sol,a saw. Ma old btuoa het falh ntihk i aveh i ot owh meit. .
.
Tub it of sillt uobat caemebr em si ygnirt of ash i,ggna tpra rroyw to ahonret me artp isth. Gae htwi rxcineeepe mseco for evrey feil yad am adn i hchwi gateulrf imowds. Tkhin htaw leemminys roeyugn arce am sa erstldgug batou tnioec whti to me tath i hwhic ohrset i essl mwaon a rtsaintg i of. Sie"nrg og ntpaiet hte a bgien moer lliw uoy ot em eb i fi ot life ksuc eianptt nad itlls estvne utb bit; aceitngh neolos" at are llteti tcnere etl. .
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Tehsor thsi fo leehsvsetm ni see pheo htta daer rtaps nca shit and i. Iesmt opvdimer sloamt dan esom otlmys gwohtr my iftrs fifuldcti ev'i eerw ngscaeh i lyastv oewtr es;rya sa ttleer escin eeminms exceerdipne ym tbu ni sha fiel a a-2ldrey-2o ivef. None pyla udolw otu to tniierscopd ()eh!ww fiel ywa noe nfnuy i'st fo i plan dweatn htuoght toehs ym mace taomsl owh uot rute ti nad dan. .

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