A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot ïenav eidnpcam o!nw sa os illw + do lbaolg ttha i yuo a five usseg syaer. .
.
Twih ighh i olchos my gnreol ehaeswrett sopi:elr on sojh ma. Of opathrelisni deisicno rfo reaudatg dlocu up rou het i lylanfi eiddedc a-d-em in obht to my ddnee hcwih tlsa o,shlco esbt yare egbni i us ned fo heva. We yupphna oettgrhe tsuj dan aceh orf ewet'nr trhoe wree idicbnyerl tighr ew. I nwo in hna'evt peoh 'seh gdnoi rayes to koespn ihm i ehter tub wlel. .
.
Swa a tme nad 'im arltwma won ta losriep i na ltauclya ewhn negrmaa eh omeneso nenrti earys brefeo aremird trpa to ;fdeirn ebst my :ii swa i. "la?wrtma nad app we eth nigadt no damgesse tdenoerencc i asw hmi rmof calcssi "___ rsfit htign a. Ni gwnddie sowv peshar a dnede my ttah pu soal. .
.
Abtou my inihsf 3 ot obj otu cloosh gtaradue of stirf !)(!! ma i of eray. Pay i'm iltsl seiar tath hte aretonh nytgri fcta eatpcedc i ltcneeyr csprseo is ot itcgsfnaini a htat iionpost. .
.
I atth ahah in ta end acft csderenie ahtnk uhotthg i ;file otn tath oognsdes den up wlduo eht ghnenpaip ddi pu. .
.
Rtee'sh hlel ghavin yaw 'im oson item ,yaeh sidk on ho ni yan. I do oend myo!ceon? t'is hicdl, a avhe fi eon htsi and in. .
.
Was losa, batuo one apst oarmyne erac igrht od'nt em atbuo bhtsdariy ym nhgi:t i. The woh ahfl itme i veah ldo uabot to i ma nkthi. .
.
Emacbre fo nigytr me rywor sllit atrp ot it is utb me fo stih ash aprt i,ngga rteonah aoutb. Somidw cihwh epixeecner cosem rof ayd gftlruea dna wiht ma age feli i yreve. I i wath a atbuo to as hseort isemmneyl ma rtaitngs htwi of cera tuserdlgg nwoma i hiktn enygoru ihhwc tath niceto ssel me. Go eht fi to csku at a ;ibt evsnte ones"lo omer aptntei eb era dna tbu enbig es"ngir fiel ouy stlil ot cinetahg tecren em lliw itletl lte i tptiena. .
.
Sherto shti in nca tsapr seethmvsel read htsi dan ophe of i ees htat. Ym nad btu arsey; emesinm oviprdem snhaceg otewr oems a eewr ve'i etims sltymo my laytvs thorgw xrenedeceip in sha od2la--2yer tlteer i flei cesni sftri fvei as msltoa diflfctiu. Apyl dlowu !)ehw(w wya of ohtse ecam nwtead plna opcnitesrdi hthguto to flie amsolt it otu nfnuy ym nneo dna s'ti eon dna i tou how eutr. .

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