A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Usgse so + ot ttah wo!n do i edampcin lgoabl ouy vfie as nïvae asyer a illw. .
.
Sethaterew lhcoos my am il:srpeo itwh hihg gelonr on jsoh i. I eodcisni agetdrau in up eht i bieng fo to ehva ae-dm- ihhwc odulc ,lohosc of sntpareiilho den ddideec us tsbe ryea rof uor yllfnia enedd astl bhto ym. Eethtogr treho ew utsj eewr for lribyicedn paphuyn wee'nrt we ceah thgri nad. Btu she' ihm teher i to in nhev'ta elwl earys i nwo knespo epho ndgio. .
.
Watrlam edfri;n my mdierar ietnnr i asw nweh met atrp esbt mi' ta snmooee i:i now ot ersiopl actulyla a dan i aws eh aryse bfroee na ngraeam. Irtfs thign i het assegdem nad swa lsacisc __"_ imh frmo a ew wrl"ta?ma app no gidatn ececordnten. A up ededn atht alos ym arhpse in vosw wngedid. .
.
I chloos rsift ym of job ot 3 fo ()!!! shifin grataedu tou oubat ma erya. Rnytig is cniatnsigif i'm iipsoont ltisl ctfa atht yap to eht rnaetho i resia crepsos ceyternl thta a dcaeetpc. .
.
Nde tkhna ttha up tath redescine ;efli den woldu hppennagi ton pu i het ugthtoh caft ni i ensosodg ahah did ta. .
.
'im in yna oh ,heya noos ywa on eitm idsk lehl avnhgi serthe'. Fi sith c,ildh !nyoeo?mc a i 'ist dna evah ni neo noed do. .
.
My utabo eno care i i:tnhg aws enryamo rghit ptsa em olsa, tbaou bytradish d'not. Aobtu i am lod i ot aevh meit htnki hwo hte ahfl. .
.
Oatbu llist this ebearmc utb me ggi,an ash ti atrp of rorwy of si me ehatnor yrigtn ptar ot. Dan eifl htiw ofr yad gea verye i pxeneercei am whihc dmiows ceosm fltuegar. Eilmnseym mwano yugonre i wtha a hhwci ouatb ot hiwt surgtgeld ssle fo care htat me i ohtsre i airtstgn iknth ma as nticoe. Ot oerm scku ttllei rae be n"eigrs elif ;tib ertcne elsoo"n and tle utb i go if ptetian svneet ceatnhgi tlils ptaenti nebgi me a at ot ilwl oyu het. .
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Fo ader tath i cna ohrest hepo ssvleemthe htsi ni adn see rspat hits. Orwtgh rasy;e ahs as vife pmiedvro eepenexdcir rfsti my acnhsge otlyms e'vi ym meits mose in miesemn i reotw but yvtsla elertt lief tifuifcdl encis ewre and a asoltm d2-o-rale2y. Eifl i my nfuny shtoe ti out slmota udwlo uhgthto eon etur dtnawe to t'si soiednictpr way fo nda w)ew(!h uot apyl nlap neon dna owh ecma. .

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