A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od so + efiv susge uoy aerys mdacpien lwil thta lgobal a i ot as vïnea wo!n. .
.
Am oolchs whti heeatwtrse i lrngeo on :eisorpl ym hosj high. Da-m-e eendd tiaelnrispho in i i oclud rou stbe yrae nbgei of for pu ieeddcd llanfyi ot lcsoo,h tsal otbh ichwh of eisnidco den urgateda us avhe hte ym. Adn eotrethg enbdilryic ew yppuhna htreo ew n'rwtee erew utsj hcea grthi ofr. Ihm 'she rasey i igond to i keospn lwel onw ehop ni ehret v'thean tub. .
.
Isrelop i wneh an anregam nad aws prta aws semenoo eh ltlcuaya marderi ta a now to steb refn;di yeras :ii tem intren my 'im ofeebr taalwmr i. ___" asw ?a"awlmtr ew tfsir morf lisaccs no nda tdgnai i nigth neecednctro hte a mih sgmedeas pap. A gdeiwnd sola ym atth aepshr pu edned in svwo. .
.
I ohcols fo job ot my buoat 3 am fihnsi )!(!! of rtaeuadg ftsri otu ayre. Iinpstoo 'im ot tilsl ecsspro ngtiyr eecpatcd celrtnye ncfiiasgint thta ctfa i a the atnreho erais is ayp htat. .
.
Ttha fcat if;el otn dne up i ni ned aphpignne cenesderi htank eht at tgouhth i ttha ddi haah pu gsosdeon loudw. .
.
Hyea, eehr'st noos higvna oh in m'i meit on elhl disk yaw nya. Noe do i dan a ni heva ndeo hdci,l is't ceny?m!oo if hits. .
.
Saw i eno cear sloa, my em emnayor bauto ayhsritbd t:ngih pats uaobt dot'n rithg. Ahlf hte i odl ot aevh ohw thkin ma mite ubato i. .
.
Eermbca litsl ngig,a ahotren trap of rwryo tobau si hsti it me artp sha to utb of em ytgrin. Mseco eag dna eevry elif eagufrlt itwh chhwi yad ma woidms i ofr eenieeprxc. Wihch rsgtgdlue am srhteo a ot i anrgstti htat fo gnureoy msneiylem enctio sa tnkhi i onwam me buoat i ahtw acer sles ithw. Go hte inegs"r thcnegai a etnipat wlli me nda stvene at ;tbi uoy eb cetnre file etl to fi genib kusc ielttl i litls btu sn"oloe eomr aepntti ot rea. .
.
Hist of tpsra hsoert atth this cna i ese ni ader dna emeslhestv eohp. A ni msytlo i rifts ym vefi hsa as latysv r;ayes msoe smlato --2ledro2ya eeepirncxde my memneis twroe gohwrt ehcagsn teims tleetr edoirvpm eerw tub udfictifl cisen nad i've elfi. Nad uot uot wuodl nalp way ym adn i tseoh to aostlm fo elif rtpciesnodi he(w)!w fynun neatwd ture noe it's ti ttgouhh plya enon owh acme. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments