A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I ysrae a vief so geuss gblola do to that yuo as iwll !onw cnepmdai + vïnae. .
.
Ma asweteehrt no i high thiw lernog shjo poesri:l colsoh my. Eht ea--md fo obth eddicde ilantpihorse rof to enigb ayfllin edn i in odeisnic wchhi vahe us i sebt dnede ym gdaeautr pu hoo,lcs ouldc slat yare of oru. Ypnuahp higrt we adn rfo e'etnrw heca reew tusj cryibilnde we htroe ttohrgee. I igdno i neposk ni tub ryaes eh'tnva lewl to erteh poeh ihm 'hes won. .
.
Ym eoesnmo alwrmta derf;in asw mi' met yrsae a aws i:i nhwe nad ot nitrne rareimd utylacla trpa eh frbeoe armagen i ta lispore wno i na sbte. Hte we esmsedga no and sftri ngadit i fomr etenecodnrc app higtn him ___" a ailccss swa tawrl"ma?. Atth a enedd pu my in ngwdeid aols vows aehprs. .
.
I uto 3 ym ifrts tagduare of raey olohcs (!)!! to am ihfnis btoau ojb fo. To cdpeacet nftsgnaciii mi' atfc etrceyln ethrano a tyginr is sreia tlsil i taht htat hte oscserp ypa iiopotns. .
.
Ttah ahtt uttghoh dwluo if;le tnakh ahha actf i at het ddi in seodngos iesneedcr up end pniahegpn end tno i pu. .
.
Yhea, wya im' avighn oh noos ellh etim in hs'erte ayn no kisd. Do i lidh,c !coye?mno in node if nad one siht a vaeh 'tis. .
.
Ndot' atoub shrtabiyd my maynero :thnig atps oasl, i aobtu arce eno saw me hitgr. I aflh old tmei ot ma how teh i itnkh botau hvea. .
.
Ilslt rrowy tub em prta ryitng em fo gigan, patr si tihs btoau ehnarto maebrce sah it to of. Wsdimo whihc dya age aufgltre ma csmoe efil i eyver and rof twih iexecpeenr. Nemymilse as uenrogy elss i hhwci a me nrgtatis oanmw fo rtgseldgu nhitk raec i thiw tath i taoub sehort to ma hatw iencot. Tle nad lilw enertc oyu ilfe i;bt neool"s rae ta eth tllis ettlil og be ebngi pittaen usck tbu rigns"e to i tihngaec to a if rmoe em etnevs ianeptt. .
.
Eslhvtmsee edra srtap that ni ohpe i htis ees nda hroset thsi fo nca. ;erays avtsly ivef hsa my rcipndexeee i'ev -e2-la2oydr a ym letrte inces omalst tolmsy i esemmin adn ghtwor efli esimt as btu rwee ni ertwo fctiiludf ehsancg vidomrpe iftsr omse. Retu ww)eh!( i oetcnsdipri wdluo woh lasmot neo of fnuny to dwtaen gththuo yaw ti ethos uot enno ypal nda maec 'tis lefi alpn my and uto. .

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