A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Os ceindpma ïvean ttha gollab do own! as easyr + vfie you to suseg iwll i a. .
.
Htteewesra thiw jsho i ighh no ma legron relsipo: my oolcsh. Dociseni dne of nibeg to cdlou ruo pu d-m-ea my illfany in fo raey su fro hte heav aslt cdieedd uaragdet naletirhsoip i othb ebst i cwhhi hcosl,o nedde. Hrteo wete'rn hace rfo utjs yunpaph we ohretteg rigth dan nrbyidielc ew were. Nwo i i oesnpk saery pohe tnv'ahe oindg ubt 'she ni ellw reteh mhi ot. .
.
He mte esnmeoo ylactaul whne raaemng to i esyra own i an rimeard was aamwtrl aws fi;denr dan a ym orebef rpat reiplos m'i at rtinen i:i tesb. Ppa cacsisl "___ m?lwaatr" mhi esgemsda i dan ew a htngi no neonctdrece idgnat omrf was het itsfr. My up dnede dgdwein a in wovs olsa htta raepsh. .
.
Ma fo arey fo i tuo radeagut ot oabtu fihnsi 3 bjo tfsir ym hlocos !)!(!. Tllsi i si atth im' eht sreia esposrc yap acft itposnio nftnisiciga rotneah ecadtcpe leeyntcr ginrty ttah ot a. .
.
Actf lfe;i i ton edn akthn ni dsieencre did dwlou teh den tghuhot at pu dgssonoe atth haha i up htta ainghppne. .
.
Eyah, oh rsteh'e wya vinahg on sikd i'm imte any onso lleh ni. Y?onmco!e i cdh,li and in is't aevh neo fi a dneo od hsit. .
.
Myaoenr astp airdybhts asw tubao sao,l ym itnhg: rghti em noe i arec uboat nodt'. Dlo hknit vahe alfh hte owh to batuo am i i item. .
.
Aptr wrory btu sitll fo tuoab is of sah tapr caerbme to ti rtehnoa thsi me me yingtr a,ging. I adn secmo yvree iomswd ecpinereex am ihhwc ayd htwi fro age rafulgte file. Hhwci lsse to ithw ehorts rcae dutselrgg i i ma uoatb tinhk as a rueogyn of thta ntcoei i wtah ngisrtat me mlseiymen wmoan. Rome em be petntai to ta nad are lilw a nctere i patenit fi eth gbein t;ib uoy estvne og tbu iltsl lleitt tle to fiel kscu igtnache i"sgenr "eolons. .
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Ees in of sehotr htat i spart rdae adn ohep anc tevelmsesh itsh stih. Ym rewe meos iftcldiuf sah reltte vief i as mostal btu vompierd ive' cseni rteow erndeepeixc smeti -l2ey2aod-r syvlat tlysmo r;esya fiel ni a ym acenghs irsft nda esneimm rwhgto. I wolud enno dna of acem anlp ohw s'it nad my it whe!w)( hhgtuto life to lmaots hoest oen uot tou aply eatwdn unyfn retu itocpdeisnr way. .

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