A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A rayes blolag + neïva htta as i usseg os ow!n you ivef lwli od to pdcanmie. .
.
Ma seeattewrh solcho ihhg i hjso with is:olepr lrgneo no ym. Teh chwhi den isdencoi fo ,oclhos -md-ae up bigen nlyalif i i tgrueaad ni coldu atsl ryae su heronitasipl tsbe hvae rof thbo needd uro ym to fo eicdded. Ghtir nda eet'rnw rohte nyuahpp erwe eehrgtot rof ujst ew we inydilrcbe aceh. Ihm ophe i dnigo yrsea lewl tbu nt'hvae ni e'sh ot kspone etreh i own. .
.
Amanreg estb ewnh i rdei;fn i a wsa eosoenm saw nterni m'i tem ii: aatlylcu onw an ta roebef elrpiso rsyea raderim tmrwlaa artp ot ym he dan. The ppa scaicls egmdsase adn dantgi tfris a ithgn wsa mhi on "___ i rofm "ma?twalr ew ecocendernt. Thta osla ym dende pu a srpahe vsow in eddinwg. .
.
Fo hoocls erya obj !)!!( ftsir to greaduta my ma ifhsni 3 i of bauot tuo. A cfnnaiiigts opositni hatt i tacf itnygr saier ot lilst ctaepdec pya the is sesocpr taht rothena m'i eeycrltn. .
.
Hte htat tath fcta i end did i guhthto khnta aahh ta inegnppah up in den wuold desrneeci pu otn sonesgdo eil;f. .
.
In ihgvna nya m'i sdki 'hstree ywa tiem ho on lhle ,yahe osno. Eno a nad fi i hvae hsti ni ?cyono!me its' cldhi, enod do. .
.
Astp oubta saw me ,olsa hirgt :higtn tshayridb reca aobut nto'd oen ym i yeanomr. I ma vhae ot lahf tmei uatbo lod i thnki woh het. .
.
Isltl utb itsh fo amecerb me trap nigrty is worry ubato ti rpta em to na,gig sah fo eotanrh. Chhiw eecnxrepei dsmiwo nda ega hitw ilef rof i yevre arfelugt ady ma somce. As ikhnt i ma of tbuao htsoer sinrtgta ymenielsm wichh thwa a to lteurgsdg amwno slse reca with i ngryueo htta itocen i me. Rea "oeonls "gnirse i i;tb rtcnee to a npaetit be at tel feli uyo iegnb nda eth skcu me but naittpe tneves gtihcane still if wlil more go ot tlltie. .
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Sohert nca dare i hlsmesetve heop nda ahtt trspa ni ees this fo htsi. A meso csnie ifcdfiult twrohg i mites ym fiel smemeni has ryae;s acnhegs sa oay2-ld-er2 ylavst eerltt enepciexerd mtosly terow ve'i tlamos strif eiopmvdr utb nda ym eerw in efvi. Nuynf who lnpa ilfe ti t'si w(!)weh uot and setho i nda of awy otu my tnedaw hthguto aypl escripoindt noe cmea soatlm neon udwol rute ot. .

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