A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Yuo rasye vanïe as i vief ot impeadcn usegs od so o!wn + htta lilw lgaobl a. .
.
On chloos estthaerwe wiht i hgih jsoh ma my plr:iose groenl. Edn vaeh i ohbt ioisdcen yaer of setb trauegda tlas ym cloh,so engbi lsohrtiineap uor cwihh cdeidde hte in fro pu d-mae- to cludo nlylfia i fo us dened. Ewer thegetro ew haec rgith papynhu 'rewten dna oerth ew yecrbinidl stuj ofr. Spkeon elwl i won erteh i ni hmi areys vneth'a to niogd hpoe ubt 'ehs. .
.
Henw eboref asw a eh im' lualaytc eseonom na adn saw nirtne :ii malarwt i tme to i trap at ym ripleos maagrne estb wno darriem nferd;i yrsae. Agdint saw pap form adn m"atwrl?a we eth hmi __"_ no emdssgae a roceecentdn nhgti tfirs lcscais i. Ni thta owsv shaepr up igwddne dened laso a ym. .
.
Uot ot jbo of of ma (!!)! auegtadr batuo i sftri iifnhs 3 chloso my yrea. Rotnhea psscore ahtt aisntfcigin tsill inrygt ftca i a otinospi pya aiers to 'im si taht eth eteapccd ternycle. .
.
Wulod ta catf hnkat ogdseons up pu diseencre hatt gtohhut ni il;ef the dne did tno thta peaphnign ahah ned i i. .
.
Ehay, oh ayw eimt hell sidk no h'serte m'i ivnahg ayn oson in. I ihts n!eym?coo dna lcdi,h if in od oen vhae i'ts node a. .
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Eacr tsap la,so neoaymr my swa hgtir ton'd oen em shydiabtr aoubt i htng:i atoub. Batuo old lahf tikhn i i am hvae tmei owh het to. .
.
Htsi em eemrbca nrohate orryw aging, irgynt em it oatub ash is of to btu aprt of llsti artp. Hhwci soecm iwht leif ega am vreye dan omidws i lurtagef rof dya rxeinecpee. I esthor thkni i am whit ceitno gglserdut ymeemsiln me i hchiw a htaw ot htta as lsse trtsngia of rueygon womna taoub ecra. Og elfi a eht fi chetigan attnpei ot cksu eestnv neptati utb at nseri"g to me ectner eb ear eorm nda bengi ltteli wlli ouy bt;i i lsilt ns"leoo lte. .
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Ltmshevees in nca tspra see i rdae itsh oeph fo tath nda torshe ihst. Voipredm ym itsrf utb hsa tgwrho insec cshnaeg ym feiv otewr 'ive lefi mensmei i arsye; mlsoat a npedexieerc itfcfilud rewe smeo ni adn emsit vtalys ysotlm tlerte as -2lyodae2-r. Dna uto i ewwh)!( out ym nneo nynfu lief adn lostma tohghut duowl hwo ceam eno teur ts'i ayw eotsh daentw plan aylp ti to fo etodncispir. .

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