A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ayrse sa own! sgues od naïve to + i a neiapmdc gblaol wlil thta uoy eifv so. .
.
Ym tihw i hghi :rpsileo am srehtwtaee reognl on cholso ojhs. Up ofr i aveh agrtduae ddeecid los,och us btoh ocisidne uro den me-a-d ni nyiallf fo rheaolniispt ddeen nebgi my astl lucod wihhc to yrea i sbet eth of. Reew were'tn and grtih hupanyp heca herto theetogr rcinieyldb ew ofr jsut we. Ihm nkpoes ndogi i in i 'hes ot entah'v lelw pohe ysaer won eethr tbu. .
.
Whne a omeosen maeangr mte sreoilp atpr eh frbeeo was ired;nf im' lalyucat an swa atamrlw amrierd yrsae nad i:i wno ym ta i btes nrenit ot i. Ssdeameg mrfo csailcs no tml?"wara ew i asw mhi and fisrt "___ rtndceoceen tgnih a the ppa aitngd. Ddene a losa ahtt gewindd ym pu ni aesphr wvos. .
.
Toabu yrae fo jbo slhcoo to rftis fo i 3 my dtraegua )!!!( ishnfi otu ma. Mi' to rneteylc ayp rospces rygnit sillt i rntehao a aedptcce aitciifsnng is seira eht pnotiios fcat hatt ttha. .
.
Hnkta up ddi den atth in ielf; not up i haha the nde ftca eeincesrd uoldw i oossdgne gpahpenin that ta thutgoh. .
.
In ywa lhel ganhiv mtei onos ,ehya oh rshtee' isdk nya no mi'. In hist do odne ilch,d ymooec?!n i eahv st'i dan one a if. .
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Noe my hrtig baydrtshi ,soal sapt me aws tdon' ntg:ih aecr ymnorea i uatob boaut. Autob eth vaeh how dlo i i ma miet alhf thnik ot. .
.
Tpra fo agi,ng wryor sthi ouatb ubt ti sha reonhta em ltils merbeac em tygnir of trpa si to. Wiht reyve fro dan lfei ceoms niereeepxc hcwih ega am dsmowi urgealft i yda. Hitkn wiht i awht aoubt rcae msminleye ot fo moawn iwhch ngrouye thta as am i a tesohr oenict elss srggltdeu riantgst i em. Skuc ta go eth and rea tgicaenh piteant to iebgn tel nleoo"s bi;t ot in"sreg fi em ttilel ltsli uyo more be lilw rnetec lefi i eenvts utb a pntitae. .
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Vlseteeshm i tihs taprs nda of in atht ihts opeh ees raed nac throse. A tficidulf mepvrido aeo-r2dy2-l y;srea tub sah sa rotew ecisn ym lamsto edernxecipe vi'e itsfr nhcgeas i lytoms vife nmeemis my atyvls ettrel omse rotghw adn elfi eitsm ni erew. Oen ym reut ifel wya fo nfuny uthgtho aenwtd and it si't lypa hwo nnoe ulwod !)wew(h i otu ecam to dan soatml tou sehto iositeprndc lpna. .

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