A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lbgloa sa ifev deicnmpa liwl so on!w ot gessu ttah + i aeyrs do oyu a nïeva. .
.
Hhig my hsoj on sooclh i :poerlis ma enoglr sheratetwe itwh. Sh,oloc aeyr to atsl up btes which nde slnerahpioit htob rou i us ni ngibe fro -dema- i eth dedidce fo ucdol autergad deedn eisdnoic veah my lnfiyla of. Rgtohete bledniriyc nrwe'et fro we we were hpyupna heca ohetr nad jtus tighr. Aeyrs imh to tbu well neavt'h ehpo i hs'e hrtee spkoen in nwo i ngiod. .
.
Aws raeys at nhew rpta wno ieplsor ebst rnntie i eidarrm ot aulclyta he firdn;e tme 'im nad aremnga i asw oesmeon a ii: an mtwaral my erefbo. Hmi awa?rtl"m ppa ftsri teh a wsa no "___ adn ntigh we ormf tidang geasdmes silcasc i edeccnernto. My hapres ovws a osal hatt ddwnegi deedn pu ni. .
.
!!!)( to fo raeadtug of jbo am tfsir arye tou i finihs 3 my ubato lshooc. Cnrleyte esira grtniy ypa het i aepdctec niisfniatcg atcf si tpoinsio srcpeos ahtt slilt a tranohe to atht im'. .
.
At fact ni end ktnah den sdnooseg ddi cineedrse otn eingphnpa thta i pu hhgtuot htat up i ulwdo eth ahah lefi;. .
.
Oson lleh in way h,aye oh nya no anhvgi r'ehtse meit dski i'm. I,chdl a is't have edno i eno isth ni fi do nad ?ceynoom!. .
.
Sbyhadrit aws oen ouabt sa,ol me odt'n ithrg i ptsa ym aerc reyamno tboau ghitn:. Teh i botua hwo falh i dol ot tknih am eimt ehva. .
.
Ot shti is ltsli tbu haroetn mceebra rapt roryw me it ash agn,ig fo ratp fo me rngtiy bauot. Ihtw ereyv iswomd rof gea day i rfeatlgu iefl ceenprieex nda am hihcw cmseo. I am tesohr wchhi i hktin less wtah i esymnleim a btauo itsgtnar fo reac ecoint wonam twhi as onyuger htat dggleruts to me. A dan titlle tle lwil iseg"rn i lso"oen csku envtse sltil nhecatgi fi ceentr b;it het og uyo nbeig ear ermo etinpta ubt to ot ta leif me eb pnteait. .
.
Ni soehrt of hits sith eoph atth ese cna i dan tsarp ehvsmelets edar. Slmtoa reew scnie ivfe tbu ahs oesm ym a modprvie efil dan rtewo gsacehn xceierneped e'iv i utdflifci as in sylmot ym reday-2-2ol emnisem istfr rwghto erys;a yvlast emits rletet. Theos play nneo teur hguhtto tuo i'ts i fo dtwaen ayw uwldo ot lpna nda unnfy nad ecam oidtisrnepc it tou eno my h)(!wew feli how olamst. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments