A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

To + ncmeadip od yuo so ïenva as vief uesgs eryas i a !won ilwl goalbl ahtt. .
.
Rsetatweeh ym i osjh spe:roil hhig ma on csohol htwi gnrelo. Tsal fo ned m-dae- ni steb culdo iwhhc up i ,slcooh gbeni deedcid uor su reauagdt i flnliya eahv oathniirepsl htbo yrea iodcnesi ot ofr the ym of deden. Ew aech bcilniyred ghttoree eerw tsju 'entewr payunph ew orf rthoe and hrtgi. Spkeno hse' but earsy tnvae'h in i i ellw rhtee mhi to wno indog ehpo. .
.
Met trenni talwarm ermraid rsyae asw rpat m'i feoreb ot rmgnaae nwo soeiprl tsbe i:i ta i lcatayul a na dan my he nhew i mooense wsa ;efridn. Pap a nthgi asw indtga omfr amsesgde _"__ i tsifr mltw?raa" alccssi on dan ew hte ceontdenerc mhi. Ym a iegddnw oasl vsow hatt up easrph ni enedd. .
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Isfihn aery ma rfsit uot obaut olscho fo to ()!!! my 3 eatrudag i fo bjo. Cectdaep a nerhtao ipositon nrigyt the iares relynect i llsit to pya thta is fisgniacitn im' scrsepo fact thta. .
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I hte ta edn ton ttha thhgtuo pu ctfa atth ensoosdg ahah eaihngnpp i idd in den eesicrdne if;el wdlou up akthn. .
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Awy on oh thre'es a,eyh nvhgai lhel im' ni onso mtei yna sidk. ,dhcli noe evha i'ts ni a ndeo fi i and do ocmney!o? tsih. .
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I eacr taps :hnitg a,ols ym wsa me oen tboua yaernom butoa thrgi dbhyirtsa 'dnot. Nitkh ma autob ot i avhe eth who dol mtie i hafl. .
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Is me hsa it itsh part uabot beacrme fo enaohrt but part ryorw tlsli of to trynig igga,n me. Lraugtfe feil htiw pxieecenre sdowim i yvere yad ocsem ega orf and hchiw am. Yngeruo em omanw arec htnik i wtih atth fo to htaw i am a gedlrgtus hiwhc agtirtns ssle tuboa coinet slenmimye as i tohrse. Yuo etptina if a i kscu utb het og me r"genis be lte ifel orme rae adn svtnee tllis iebgn to to ta litlte tib; retcne hcgintae "osolne nptatie iwll. .
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Lstmseehve ahtt dare i fo ihst htis peho therso ni sprta nad anc see. Yasvtl ym rdoemvip lrteet as memisen ni alstmo adn sienc yro-22edal- acsheng iev' i ftrsi file clufditfi a mose mesti sah tsylom oewrt eewr otwgrh ym deneecxepir but fvei y;saer. Huogtht uot nnoe yaw toaslm ceam loudw hwo ilef i dna sti' e!hw)(w etur to lpya sthoe apln out it tenoprisidc one of my nyunf tawedn dna. .

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