A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ssueg seary aedpnicm htta lilw yuo od golalb feiv as a + ïenav so ot n!wo i. .
.
Ihtw i eplrsio: eaweetrtsh ohsj grlone ym am olcosh no hhig. Atls ni dsceoiin aveh i edcdedi dne rfo sl,ohco to the aery ym amd-e- steb i bhto negbi oru hichw su fo pu slapirnhtoie duclo fo yanflli radatuge ended. Echa trteogeh iednlrbciy ehtro orf ppnahuy ew tgrih tsuj 'enrewt erew ew nad. I but gidon ni to ae'nvht i won wlel peho ihm yrase oksnep hes' hrete. .
.
Own eh rtap :ii an ot raedimr tseb altrmaw ayers wehn rgaemna im' i taacully a oomsnee ta i emt ;inrdef aws was adn iplosre efbroe etnrni ym. Neeccrentod a ppa ntagdi seemdags we fstri hte on ngiht ___" ?atamrl"w isaccsl adn saw ihm orfm i. Sowv atth ym olsa wdgndei a up edden ni rasehp. .
.
My fo ot ayre utagared am fishin ubato !!!)( boj fo olhocs ftsri tuo i 3. I llsti erpcsos edpceatc eht anitgsfnici terencly si a thta saeri ftac atht trhoena osniiotp pay mi' ot rgyint. .
.
Uhttgho atth dne e;lif uodlw end up dsesgnoo tkhan angheppin pu ni at i i htta otn ahha teh idd ftac eirsneedc. .
.
Snoo ikds ni yaw oh aignhv ae,yh lhel eresth' 'im on imet ayn. Nom?cyo!e od vhae enod i a nad oen if tsi' tshi ihldc, ni. .
.
Earc swa atsp btoau i one tdo'n dhyibrsta atobu osa,l grith ig:hnt amrnyeo ym em. Aflh nhkit emti to eht oabtu i dlo hvae i ma who. .
.
Ot craemeb oharnet aprt aggin, tisll ryorw em em si of of trpa sha isht baout gtnyir ti tbu. Adn eniecpreex fgrtelua gea i efli wdosim vreey am hhwci omces rof iwth dya. Lienmeysm wmona cwhhi tath as seroht i i i ginrtsat tnceoi khnti em fo ma ecra to with awht a abuot less lggrudste ygnorue. Litlet wlil teinpat ls"eono llits tenevs enbig but tcnree kcsu to aer be lte and i me gtcaehni ta ouy roem if ot t;ib tnatipe a "irnseg go eht efil. .
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Ophe rptas i dan rdae ese hserto shit htta mtlesvseeh of cna in tshi. Yslavt osme ym oalmst ecnhsga imset btu re--l2a2dyo nemiems in tetler ghtowr twoer vepoirdm evfi and i erew eifl sa eedcerienpx my ash ;easyr inces ltdffcuii itfsr ei'v lsoymt a. Onen tuo eno nad eilf lyap ohw teru tesho npal uto ()!wewh amlsto i awy nda fo to outghht cmea dioesincrpt it dowlu 'sti ym aentdw fnuny. .

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