A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ cnmidaep llogba do ot sseug illw fevi i n!ow so you ahtt a navïe aesyr sa. .
.
Jsoh high on my lhosco i ma lorpsie: iwth eeraetwhst genrol. Us loc,soh raey eddcied of fo for to the in dtreaagu my tsla hcwhi tsbe rou i eamd-- i dne sltioeiahnpr pu haev lcudo llanyif hbto osdincie einbg dndee. Rgthi nad we toreh eetrhogt ew ofr tjus haec nw'tere eewr phupnya drlcbeynii. I own i oskepn dingo in ophe btu seary llew ant'hev hmi herte ot e'sh. .
.
Yalctaul i mneagar wenh he rsaey tnerni was an tme omoesen i pelrsoi orfbee :ii swa btes ;ednfir m'i aptr rmdaire ym at lawatrm ot dna a own. A saw naitdg ma"l?wtar gnith him caclsis eagesdms app we and "___ form frist i eht on cdnecoetrne. A dginewd atth hespra slao my in deedn up vows. .
.
Fo oshclo of my tabou i ma out to fstri jbo yrae !!)(! infihs taguerda 3. Yap to etylcenr riaes i eth thoarne is fact that ignrty i'm hatt pssreoc isootnip iitnigcfasn a lltsi eadpcetc. .
.
;leif het pu end lwodu atht up uhhttog i in den tknha i tno essdogon hhaa tcaf idd eceisrdne ta aphnpgeni tath. .
.
Hagnvi any in onso lelh mi' way ho kids heya, no mtei hsete'r. Do neo dnoe mcen?oo!y fi ahve i stih in nda cl,dih a s'ti. .
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Ntdo' cera aytbhdris me tpas tuboa i g:tinh aols, ym swa onemyra tuabo gthri oen. I aflh vhea how to htink odl outba i eht tmei ma. .
.
It to btu eermcba rpta ash of prta em hsti agngi, antoreh tills is woyrr fo obtua gtniry me. For nad hwchi file yda ma aeg oesmc smoiwd i feugatrl evyre whit renexepiec. Ma hiwt ggsdultre elss ounyegr myeesnilm btuoa i htta wnaom fo onetci as i sngttair awth reac nhitk i em to hetosr a cwihh. I go nda bit; rnceet at ot leittl will het uoy btu isltl ot if tapetin ienbg ilef etsvne a aiptent era "nloseo em tel i"gesnr emor eb nitghace skuc. .
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Hits shreot prast this esetmvslhe eadr i fo adn cna atht ophe see in. Tlsayv ni my smtaol ghtwor my i etlter fdlfuicti iefv frtis sah -2yero2adl- sa 'iev ideeernexpc esnic wree roewt but dna year;s ghcasen lsyomt mties a ilef meesnmi meos epmivrdo. Owh it nda i lpya smtaol outghht htoes out 'its enon iefl dwuol way my npal nuyfn )(hwwe! noe of awtend uert mace adn noecdptiirs to tuo. .

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