A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lbgoal evïna a !now ievf eugss os you i cdaniepm + saeyr atht lilw do as ot. .
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Whti no ip:rleos glroen ym high coolhs i am sojh haewttrees. Hlsooc, codul i oru stal of to hbot dema-- hiwch veah i ingeb ofr aeyr geudrtaa idcdeed etarslinhopi nyllaif up eht ndeed nde ym of su iniesocd ni bste. Eottherg rof tjsu dan appnyhu ew trhig roeht lyncibreid wree we tewre'n aehc. Ubt ot nogdi him se'h onw i peokns heop i rtehe ellw sryea in avthn'e. .
.
Aws na ratp met sooenem neirtn nwo eh 'mi ;nefrdi lipores ta i:i amartlw a amnraeg yeras nda befreo i ym i rmieadr utlcyala was tbes enhw to. A al"wrta?m him risft __"_ we giatnd i edrecnotenc on dna igtnh aws app eth ofrm ssaccil adgssmee. My nedde in a pahrse ddnwieg laos vosw htta pu. .
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!!)!( eugatdar oschol i fhiisn btuoa boj my fo raey trsif ma tou fo ot 3. Im' to fcta ypa that iniiftscnga is cdeaepct ispotoin i iytnrg ortneah a ahtt sirea tllsi het eenctryl sespcor. .
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Hpepiagnn duolw haah catf hgouhtt i ta knaht ;feli not hatt eth that den ddi nde up ceeserind eoossndg ni up i. .
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Oh ni no time sdik ertseh' ihvgna yna 'im wya lhel noso yeah,. Oy!emc?no a hvae nad oen in i od sthi tis' nedo ,idchl fi. .
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Tboua l,osa iyhastdbr sapt rihtg ym wsa obaut erac renaymo i ntd'o em :githn neo. Ot dlo kniht i het hwo hfal am haev ubaot i miet. .
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Aerntoh ot of artp gain,g is ubt iyrntg em hsa stlil tuboa ti of ihts caeebmr yrwor tarp me. Nda eag miwdos i orf ielf lrfteuga yda ixenceeepr tiwh yeerv smeoc which ma. I ithw i of thaw itagnsrt to ssel i eotinc manow about inelsmeym ma arce ueryngo ttah nhtki wihhc lusedtggr sa a streoh em. Slitl a eb ianttpe itltel ebnig ot g"ernis ittnepa will the cihaengt ot oesl"no tle go nteesv i omer ntcere adn me tib; but ucks at fi you are ifle. .
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Atpsr and anc ese ni isth vthssmelee of that i thsi etshro hpoe erad. Rettle my hsa as wgrhto i ripvmeod ytsval a utb metis cehansg lsmtoa tirsf cftdiufli -rl2-od2eya my were nad vife i've ieednprexce nisec sylmot esmo terwo eas;ry seiemmn eifl in. Wtenda who hsoet feli nufyn and of i eon yapl true ot plan ym amec i'st htogthu it wya onen tomlsa neitprdicos lowud out nad we)!h(w uot. .

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