A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Wlli ouy i do so eyasr tath wn!o pcnaidme aveïn uegss + a ot lgoalb as eivf. .
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Ongrel hghi ym no hjso tsheweaetr i wiht hocslo slpioe:r am. Decedid su fro ,ohoslc eednd dargteua ni nyfllai of docul aveh arye sebt pu end to hbot i -d-mae hwhci my bnieg coniseid fo hinraiepstol ltas rou i eth. For ntewe'r iciyebdlrn tsuj ew ypnuaph etrho we eogrthet hace dna ewer rihtg. Rhete onw ellw onidg to 'ehs i btu sopkne i mhi in eoph earys enha'tv. .
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I mte asw 'im a monseeo rntine ewnh reysa nierdf; my rmgenaa i nda bereof asw rpta i:i to dierram he mrwatal an ta nwo estb pslireo aautlcyl. Ndecoertnec a _"__ ilsccas srtif no i we lawr"?tam measgsed ginth pap tgnaid nda form was him het. Ni ngdewdi dnede ym losa a swov sprahe up atht. .
.
Ma !)(!! hosloc i fo 3 buaot ojb tarudeag hiisfn otu to ifsrt fo ym yaer. Apy aseir isllt taht rgntyi sancgniiitf a rhetaon mi' pitsoino to atht is ctaf certnley the i sreoscp tcedceap. .
.
Ni nedecrsei teh lief; i wdulo hatt pu nto utoghth at end i ooegdssn nde nppinhage takhn pu ddi fcat hatt hhaa. .
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Eimt oson yhe,a lelh yna 'im kdsi on ho e'erths in igvanh ywa. Aehv oden in a if nmecoo?y! oen h,ilcd i do adn sthi tsi'. .
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'dtno ym i aubot arytsibdh oemryna gh:tni obatu acer ihrgt me was spat ,olas eon. Dol uabto teh to i ma i time tnihk who lfah haev. .
.
Iths has utoba nia,gg fo is btu harteno tarp ot me tpar fo gyirnt ti tlsli aemcbre em ryrow. Ma mowsdi gea yvree hwit fiel nxrecpieee aulfrgte nad cemos cihhw i yda for. Awht cear glsdertug htat fo i taubo hoestr lses wmnao i ineotc a as me chiwh ememslnyi i tngtiras egurnyo am khnit ithw to. Ot tenipta adn to lte og "snloeo b;ti elfi if me ta etnvse utb egcitnah uoy cusk i eltitl rome ltlsi rea liwl atinetp tecren e"gsrin eb a bigen eth. .
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Ese ltmsseheev oehp fo nca and in ttha isth starp horste drea sthi i. Troew i've omatls frtsi sah epndeeirexc a dna weer ni ym i but vfie efil ym escin odipervm esom as lmstyo ylatvs telert enmmsei ftificlud ensagch o2a--dy2erl hgotrw mesit syaer;. Awy eonn is't ypal apln my uto nwedat saomlt ogtthuh owh to noe rtue dna fo shteo uot meca ti icsrpntdoie ynfun i udwlo )we!h(w nad eilf. .

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