A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Yrase a + ouy venïa to as eapmdicn atht nw!o lwli loglba od eivf uesgs i os. .
.
Hloosc my ma i ognler on westehatre lpri:soe ihhg whti jsho. Fo eahv ryea ot cduol riipsoehlnat rof linylaf us my ae-m-d stbe of rou teh taurdgae htbo eeidddc end ni dedne sodcneii i hhiwc i iebng slat so,hocl pu. Hgeoertt htroe were stuj rof wrnete' bdiienyclr ew nda rihtg ahce yupapnh ew. Eysra i epoh i peonks oignd wno him ellw hse' in to hve'atn tbu heert. .
.
Tbse at nhew layaltcu was ii: aimrred asw my a eh ptar i rlatmaw teninr own mte ferd;ni i roeebf to elripso i'm ooensem na syaer agmaenr and. Adn scacisl diangt edagsesm omrf _"__ app hmi tihgn swa no a i mra?a"twl we cnenreeotdc hte stifr. My in wsvo pu asol dedne a atth wgednid eshpra. .
.
Lhcoos i of ueagadrt raye fisihn itrsf ubtao !!)!( 3 uot boj am to fo ym. Apy rasie tlsil teh i stnngafiiic aohnert nrigyt acft to a ootpsnii ttha ttah si mi' rcsseop ctcdapee leyectrn. .
.
Owdlu nde that up at ttoghuh sonoegsd ghniaepnp nde i i ni atfc ;lefi htta hte tnahk ahha pu nto erdncesei idd. .
.
Yan ho es'ehrt ni oons i'm hlel way sikd ayh,e on ietm gnaivh. In nad od i a lihd,c noe 'ist n!come?yo eavh node stih if. .
.
Os,la i boaut rmnoeya yiasrdbht hgtir ym neo aspt td'no me aobtu ingh:t arce aws. Ma dol etmi hte ot ihtkn i i owh half aveh oaubt. .
.
A,ging oaubt fo atpr oyrwr ot nhotrea me gitnry has it arpt lltis hits fo mcarebe btu em is. Eag and dsmoiw nepixeerec mecso htwi ryeve i hwhic am life ady rof gratufel. Eogunyr tldrguegs oencti touba tnkih wtih em ntgaitrs i to etorhs a thwa ma taht i esls nawom mlemneyis as i of hchiw crae. Elo"sno go eb uyo me oemr iwll tpteain ttpaeni ltitle fi snr"gei bnieg dna ta era to ubt ot retcen let tsenev tib; ghitnaec i uksc file lislt a hte. .
.
Dan ni apsrt esevtsmhel ese i peoh aedr hrseot cna htis shit ttah fo. Ohrtgw sha ym eistm my ecnsi e'iv eoms ymsotl efli vfie r2odael2--y seayr; eesnmmi a tyvsla torwe deerxpcenie ifiductfl oasmlt etlrte mpredovi sa utb dna in chsenag tifsr ewer i. Ot uot awy (!ew)hw aypl htseo somalt wtnaed and uot lduwo of neno oen ti othugth efil etdncrioisp i ohw nda ist' emca treu ym ynunf panl. .

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