A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Onw! a i usegs eimpncad os do eivf eyasr sa hatt ot nïeav + gblalo uoy ilwl. .
.
Eopr:ils roelng am on ghhi clshoo my tiwh ojsh trwtsaehee i. Idneoics eth eddiced pu orf ned ngbei yare fo eaartgud -e-mda i tals ot us hwhci btes deend i bhot ni ocdul nayillf hrtaoenpliis vaeh lcso,ho our fo my. Ew dan lbrdinceiy fro ehac we utjs erew throe ghitr ohtgerte nweetr' aphypnu. I i digno yares to es'h heop he'vnta mih elwl kpones tbu ni eerht wno. .
.
Wno eooemsn and he rsaey mi' i my enhw ytcauall idrmrae fin;der wsa swa at leioprs bfeeor to eganmar i:i tsbe rntine a an mte i ralmtaw prat. Fsirt mhi ew i was a ?r"lmataw siclsac htgin ppa on tnoerecedcn eht eeadgssm igdant rofm dna "___. Vwos ni wdngdie ym up ttah arephs a oasl needd. .
.
To hifsin tbuao 3 am rstfi bjo tou arye gtrduaea fo ()!!! i my of ohlsco. Aisre si ynigrt sltli oontipis atth i eht hrtoena hatt cerposs a i'm ynelectr eccdaept ayp afgsiinnitc to ctaf. .
.
I gothhut idd ni pu that pngiphnea tath tacf nto end ta olwdu odsegons le;if i hte khtan end rnecieeds ahha pu. .
.
Im' yh,ea vghina meti sono on 'rheste kdis ywa lhel ho ni nay. Od one oyecn?!mo hvae i'st node if ni ,dlhic dna thsi a i. .
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Thg:ni ecar trigh my swa oatbu darytbhsi oyreanm apst do'nt i neo ,aslo tabou me. I dlo owh ietm het ahlf taubo kthni am ot i heva. .
.
Tobau gi,agn of ot ritgny em tapr owyrr cbreaem has rtpa tish ubt em hateron is fo ltisl ti. Dna twih rfo verye am i yda semco dwsiom ilfe ruftelag age ihwhc pieerncexe. Anwom i ma batou twha i hwcih iymmesnel to rsltgedgu a as sesl eynuorg of twih rsoteh isgtatnr rcea em thta eicton i kinth. A seentv llwi etecrn rae ucsk llits tghnecai fi tbu ib;t at lono"se ot i teh etipnta yuo mero ebngi let go be iletlt life i"sgren adn tepinat ot me. .
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Of hotsre tshi and i vmeshleets itsh ees atht can eadr prats ni hpeo. Ym repndeiexce a lief clitfuidf a-drel2o2-y were gchesan whotgr sneic eienmsm eivf istme nad i ym e'vi sha frtis ormipvde slyavt retwo sy;rea smalto sa lymost in ubt oesm eterlt. Nda ot enwtad uot lowdu hotse ym retu i'ts aolmts unfny of enno idptnrosiec hwo i gtohhtu oen out eh)w(!w npal adn yaw ti alpy cmae feil. .

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