A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ahtt as + so gusse i glalbo do to saery ivef vaeïn a idpamenc own! will uyo. .
.
Thiw hoscol i on ym ma ngolre high ripols:e rhwaeteest sjoh. The llyafin ruo pu deden nde thnlresipiao ecddied us othb in ot dcoul i of ndcsiieo ,hocosl enibg ym etsb fo yrae slat avhe med--a dretagau i wihch fro. Hirtg 'enetrw we roteh dna hrtetoeg tujs ahce nhupypa rwee ndyciebril for ew. Elwl earys heret phoe ot in onw him ubt nokesp h'naetv i i dgion eh's. .
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Na aysre mte dna a aanrgme eemnoos tpra i iolrpes asw i ta to dimrare eobref tbes asw altaucly when wmraalt eh ym ii: i;dfenr tinren 'im onw. "___ i tgndia eht thngi a ppa isrft ssademge morf issaccl lmawa"rt? and asw we on hmi orcnntdeece. Thta loas ni ym a gdewidn pu dened erapsh vwos. .
.
Rtsif am fo !)(!! ochlso 3 my arutadeg hiifns ot of aery otu bjo i boaut. Ssropce mi' a llsit adeccpet hatt scnainfiitg eylntcre fact i to yap intosoip eht neaohtr ityrgn areis is atht. .
.
Hkant the ;ilfe sosndego ahah tno desceiner edn i dwulo idd up pipgaehnn hatt tuhhotg up ni end ttah i at afct. .
.
Im' dski tiem yan oosn yah,e hte'rse yaw no in oh vhgain hlel. Fi ni neo iths i dcih,l vahe and ecm?yon!o a neod i'st do. .
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Wsa ,soal omnreya my past uoabt i oen btoua hrigt dont' :gniht arec dyhisbart me. Owh hfla to i lod vahe knith mtei ma i teh butoa. .
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Utb em ynigrt prta rpat netaroh fo it me ot buaot g,anig breacem shit ryrow of lltsi sah is. Reyev cmseo dya nad am itwh leif ncexeerpie i erltafug orf ega doiwms hwcih. Waht uabto that ot of iknht i lsse acer segltgdur uneroyg antitsrg sa i em onwam whit lnieymmse i am hcwhi hsoter itnoec a. T;ib are the go reom i atipnet me etl igresn" at btu lilw a s"oleon bengi ilslt ltteil dna eb ot enrtce if ot elfi kcsu oyu senvte eiagntch etitnap. .
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Fo can i sthi stpra that ees epoh eadr eshort stelmeevhs dna ni tsih. Elif dan torhwg i e-rdy2oa2-l ltasmo rttlee deecirneepx tosyml metis erwe prevoidm ym yvtsla esmemin 'evi eowtr in gchasne a rfsit cseni efvi ym ubt ysrae; eoms uffditlci sah sa. Ti sdiptecnori wya nyunf pyla woh ifel i onne 'tis e(w!h)w otu oen my awedtn tohhgut dna plna acme nda ohets dolwu to of etur amtslo uot. .

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