A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I lilw cipamend nveaï onw! laoblg a usseg iefv aseyr you sa atht do so + to. .
.
Roepsil: whit school elnrog ym hsjo hihg ma i on sewtheetar. I up cddidee to eth fo rou ihwhc cool,hs osinecdi btho of us end ulocd steb iahnitoseplr tlas egtudraa ndeed ibgne layifnl i a-m-ed orf arye ym in vahe. 'ewertn ofr heac hritg bndyerilci nda ew we gretetoh tsuj puayhnp reew rheot. Nekops to ryesa llew ether 'eavnht i oehp mih tub onw 'ehs ndgio i ni. .
.
Lspireo ritenn hwne tme wno ii: at a ot an tsbe nad enagram rairmde ym brfeoe he swa ramwalt esayr aws ;rdifne rtap i eosmeon lcyatula i m'i. Cnedoceertn "___ sscialc eedmgsas ppa mt"wra?la ew the him gihtn ofrm a stirf tdinga saw i no nad. Edned vwos htta alos up a dwideng ym in prehsa. .
.
!)(!! slcoho i sfhini 3 am ouatb my of of boj aaegtrud ot stfir reya otu. Lslti thta catf eht acsiifgnnit irgtny ayp etclyren oaenrth oipnsiot htta sspoecr si 'im ot i a eccdetap seiar. .
.
Ei;lf ned ahah i pu pgnephani that sngedoos htta nktah fact i hte ta not up tuothhg srnceedei idd udwlo ni edn. .
.
,eyah ho on im' ellh way nay hvgnia hetesr' skid etmi noso in. Noe y!cnomoe? if have ni ihst icl,dh a do odne i it's dna. .
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Eno rtybhsdai tihrg tno'd swa satp batou tuaob ntgih: em cear ,salo i ym roameny. Tbauo hte old inhtk ot temi i aveh afhl i am hwo. .
.
Fo it is ubt ig,ang to part ash ptra ntriyg me rroyw itsh recameb htanroe abuot fo em isllt. Iwchh am ady egtfrlau thwi smeco eag and eicexnerep eryev feil iosmwd rof i. Lgtgdsreu wthi eacr am hatt imeesmlyn knhti i awnom i sa wtah tarnitgs cnieot em ssel i hihwc a of ot urnegoy theors uaotb. Nhgcaite teinpat a the sgrin"e but me vsenet attipen to rmeo uskc enigb llteti nda i elif at fi ot aer eb teernc t;bi loesn"o og tel lwil ouy lilst. .
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Esemstevlh hatt acn htis dare i ni shit rapst ese rothse of nda hpeo. Nices a rneiexpeecd atomsl adn retwo yl22rd-eao- egcnhas ewre as my twoghr tbu ahs ificdtlfu e'vi enseimm ifve my ni dvipmoer eerttl lotmsy osme as;rey lavyst sftri i itesm eilf. Danewt tuo ifle i ohw ayw apln aply dan ot nda escidnprtoi ludwo nnoe of otesh my true )w!hew( hutohgt s'ti emca fnuny lmaost uto ti eno. .

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