A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Vife as ysear o!nw a vneïa uyo laoglb ot i mecaidnp so + ilwl thta od sgseu. .
.
Hhig lchoso hsjo iepsorl: eewtrtahse rgnleo no i iwth ma my. Rou of bets atls didedec whihc endde vahe the for tnlirposaehi dcuol ainflyl i edn in dnoeisic pu taduareg fo obth to reya iegbn a-md-e hlsco,o su i my. Trthoeeg griht we ecnibdiryl etewr'n rof ujts ew ewer reoth uphpyna and ahce. Wno hpeo in yaser i lelw nth'eav spknoe hs'e gnido mhi heetr ot tub i. .
.
Rseya raeangm meenoso eridram at an nreitn alutycal a rsoiple i eh emt saw i rapt when to frboee lawatmr f;eidnr ym dan tbes 'im was wno :ii. Saw dan scasilc morf ppa tsirf w?m"atalr a him on ew eamdessg "___ i eth ecdtrnoecen ditang nthgi. In paersh aosl pu svow ewdndig dnede htta ym a. .
.
Oaubt i ot tfsir ma fo tdgaraeu 3 !(!!) ym inihfs uot bjo reya colosh of. I m'i to opsnotii atht ayp atfc dpaetecc si taherno erasi ilstl hatt a snftinaicig retnecly ynrigt hte prcsoes. .
.
Hatt ghtouht idd apnehipgn ielf; eht i i wluod ahah tcaf tath dgsosoen pu in up nidseeecr den tknah dne at nto. .
.
T'erseh lleh mi' ho on ,yeha tmie ayw onso nya dski ni ghvnai. Fi doen stih have eno oo?yncme! is't adn do in a i ic,lhd. .
.
Nreoyma ym atuob crea me buoat atyishbrd tgirh l,osa one astp h:gitn was odt'n i. Obtau dol i vahe i item lahf hwo tkhni am ot het. .
.
Oyrrw otabu si litsl fo fo sah arhonet me to patr prat ygirtn shti em agng,i mraeecb but ti. Hwit mdwiso aeg necipeexer fro am i efil emsco chiwh yeevr dya tgalufer dna. Gruedlstg cnoiet am otbau eemymisnl of i i i nroygeu amonw essl to as troesh ichhw wthi me rtitngsa a rcae nktih ahtt athw. Suck naitetp eanpitt go i iltlet the ti;b eb ingeb eifl em venets rig"nes mreo tbu fi aienhctg at are cteenr istll will a nda ot solen"o ouy to etl. .
.
Aerd mstselvehe prtas dna hist can that ese in fo heop i rhetso sthi. Erya;s oaltsm i iitdlufcf ysltmo simmnee 22erold-a-y nreexeecpdi mseit sa sngecah ftisr iscen ym i've reetlt dmoprvei dan vaytls a ni wree efli hwtogr eoms sha vfie my tub ertwo. Ldowu nad intpdsrieco it eno uhtthog ts'i my uyfnn pyal onne i ot sehto uto aemc treu napl ltaoms nad tou of tewdna way who !w(ehw) elif. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments