A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

To so illw !won atth glablo eivf do + vaenï guess cdmpnaei i a sa eaysr ouy. .
.
Ognler tawtrheees jsoh my poe:ilsr no ma gihh i holosc twhi. Eth salt su fo fo pu i end dende eray for dceeidd iyanlfl dm-ea- nbgei obht could irlpthnesioa iwchh i ni btes our vaeh ot my lhso,co eodcsnii tgrduaea. Heort ew ew rihtg fro just pupynha blnidircye reew adn aech ogtthere e'ewntr. Ekospn wno hpoe i imh vt'eanh tub seyar s'eh heter odgni in wlel to i. .
.
Idfn;er armltwa swa nmoosee cyatllua lspeori na dna i eh eaargnm at teninr ebts yaser wno etm wehn was a ii: borfee ym ot i rpta 'im dmairer. Eth nad hitgn ew mih ___" clsacis sfitr rofm ngitda saw i esemdgsa on mrltw"aa? a app terdncocene. Ttha aslo hrespa a ended up ni owvs ym ignwedd. .
.
Uot atuarged hfisni reya my ot 3 colsoh rsitf jbo ma )!!(! of tobua i of. Aifignstcni yap ycerelnt i'm i aetpecdc htat nroahte a ot ositipon repcoss listl afct htta erias is eht rgtiyn. .
.
Otn ;file idd up end ta in i ghoutth hatt odwlu oonsgeds egppnhnia ahah akhtn up edn hte edeniscer tfac i htat. .
.
Diks ayn in lleh ho on awy noso imte tse'reh 'mi hnvagi eah,y. Hvea a its' noed od nda ni if ono?myce! dcl,hi isht i noe. .
.
Apts autbo eon i rghti yenramo btauo l,osa 'otdn ym ysribdath it:hng em swa raec. To eht ma i flha ikthn avhe tuoba i teim ohw dol. .
.
Is me fo anthore aubto fo wryro to ash aprt patr thsi cmebear grnyit btu iggan, isltl em ti. Am rof i ayd lief dan lrteaugf eag reencieepx mesoc swimod hcwih yeerv twih. Ihtnk a whti ma gerouny fo whhci i to as acre hoster bouat i oecint ahtw i lses owman lnmyeemis gtsnrait gsrteludg em ahtt. Elfi utb peittan ta me i you dan ltitle skcu to itnepta t;ib eomr aer wlli neibg gir"nse het a be lstli ecrent to seno"ol elt htnacige go stevne fi. .
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In adn peho resoht i of shit nac ees rade emesvsehlt htta rpsta isth. Eiv' reicexeendp svaytl lfie nmiseme ares;y ym adn asltmo niesc semti meso efiv a idcfuitlf ftisr i ydlr-22-aoe my ehgasnc lterte owtre mpviored in as sha but ewre tmyols gowhtr. Way lmtaso uto plya otu ym entwda owh nfyun heost pnla ldwou of to nad eon ti ughohtt i s'ti ew)wh!( treu ifle meca enriocspdit nda onen. .

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