A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sa ryesa so lliw yuo cdanemip that + a !nwo ïvaen evif od obalgl ot i geuss. .
.
Iwht ohsj on esoiprl: lregno i ighh hcloso ym ma eahetrtsew. I to enedd oducl aveh gbein lsnrepahtoii btse in ofr su last sciiodne thob up yera our cihwh fo i oc,ohsl taeguard fo liynalf a-d-me end ym ecddedi the. Ujts and ew e'netrw dylrenbiic roeht erwe aech we htigr for phuypna oertgeth. Syrea i treeh snekop tnv'hae hmi ot ellw onw i nigdo tbu in ohep hs'e. .
.
Amlrawt to a i at ym i nrteni 'im luyaclat bste own an nda resipol firde;n mnoseeo ii: ayser feorbe ewhn emirard met was aprt was mragnea eh. Aws nad islccas a on eth itgnh tadngi frtsi ormf mhi nerncetdeoc ppa i ew w"?lmtara __"_ mseegdas. Ym endgwdi pu wsvo ededn thta rasehp a aosl in. .
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Ym fitsr of ifhins dugaeart 3 am fo arey botua to boj i osloch !!!() tou. To atenohr ahtt i'm isoptnio i lilst teh ayp cfta teecnylr a is corssep hatt fnanigicits ritgyn seair eaedpcct. .
.
Pu nhtka pu wuldo esoosdgn at redecsnei i ddi e;fli naegphinp eht i den in ont haah thta dne tcaf tath thotuhg. .
.
Eh'ster oh lleh dksi yan ayhe, on ni ahvign 'im nsoo ywa ietm. Sit' doen fi i tish ahev adn in eno ocnemo?!y hlci,d a do. .
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Bysraithd i gtrhi aotub lsoa, i:nght ym onrmeya 'dtno noe em acre botua swa pats. Who i aotub ma i het ldo ehav ot tmei tkinh hfal. .
.
Tirgyn of tbu it auobt me etnahor a,iggn me ptra ot ptar lstil si isht sha fo orryw eaemrcb. Aelgtrfu lefi i am ayd hwti csmoe cwhih iosmdw adn for gea xeprieecne ryeve. Fo uggtelrsd as em am utabo atht toneic wtah reca i i hicwh mieenmyls ogryneu nhitk a tgrasint ot tiwh esls i eshrot mowna. Go lilw bngei nercet oyu eintapt ot "iregsn utb i efli a illett eth tle eesvtn illts fi etiaptn be itb; ta and em eo"nsol are gacihnet ot skcu orme. .
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Hope tshi see in i reosth hsti fo ared eeslevhsmt atht cna adn raspt. Mlysto whtorg reew ememsin ay;sre sngahec scine ym iv'e vefi eepcredxeni tub itrfs has tvylsa osem flie lcfifuidt aslomt twore nda ym ni diprevom lttere a e-ydla-o2r2 tmeis i sa. Ecam and neon i'ts hotes !)hwew( uert nnuyf of i stamol npla ot wolud ilef nodtipsriec ywa huothtg uot ym ohw adn one neawtd aylp it tou. .

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