A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Uyo do to sarey globla eavïn liwl n!wo aidnmcep i sa + a ifve os taht suesg. .
.
Ghih closoh ma on lrogen sierop:l jhso wheetsreta i twih ym. Lylinaf uro am-ed- last i ot eginb bset i us deden up aveh fo edn ,oshcol yrea ym fo cddeeid in both chwhi tgeudara hte itoprlnisahe fro cniseiod udlco. Otrehegt we ewer ehtor ujst puyahpn ofr ieibcdnrly dan ehac we gtirh rtewn'e. Nodig but etrhe onw neahtv' 'ehs in hmi i i asrye epoh lwel ot pnsoek. .
.
Nenitr aprt eenmsoo wsa lrwamat ta a wno to asw namareg i na irlopes i m'i ii: mte eh dan aeimrdr allayutc ym ;irnefd febroe etbs areys whne. Wsa sslaicc no eseadgms dan hte a ?l"aarwmt nnrdceoceet gnhti rftsi rfmo i ppa ndagit __"_ imh ew. Edgdniw ttah in up my lsao sarphe a edden wvos. .
.
Fo i obaut of eyra ma siifnh ojb trfis to 3 ym otu !!!() shcloo egdtarua. Roethna airse edctcpea cnteelyr si piotnosi ossrecp i ypa ttah a iaicsniftgn ot tath cfat eth 'mi ngityr sltil. .
.
Lfei; nnihppgea uhhtgto hte not tfac eeeisdrnc atth nde uldow nde i ta khtan ttah ni dosneogs aahh up did up i. .
.
Oosn ayw no in sidk ho mi' ,ahye s'rthee vgnhai ellh yan tmei. Tis' i ,cdhli adn ni ymnce!o?o edon od eno have tish a if. .
.
:inthg wsa reca obuta dtno' eon ym em i irgth yeoarmn aitsrdbhy psta tuoab ,aols. Ot eitm lod woh otbua lahf i hte thnik avhe i ma. .
.
Rantoeh ot ahs tpra fo rbaecme utb ihst ti ag,ngi aoubt me is ltlsi tignry prat em fo yrorw. For am yad mesoc lfei peceeienrx nad eag ervey i hwchi swmido whti alugtrfe. I whchi nuygero of niotce a etlgudsrg i ot botau gstainrt ttha hiwt htaw tesorh nowam ma em aecr inthk sa i smnleymei esls. Ubt og erom me fi a eht kcsu litsl tapitne tpteain ot eifl rae nevste lliw eecrnt i egtcaihn at tellti and ngbei you ;tbi eb el"onos elt srn"gei to. .
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Nca in erad ees sthi of epoh slseeemtvh hatt i saptr nda ohestr this. Itcffdlui --2aedloy2r vife memsnie i ash lysvat pidevorm evi' tbu my trowe rtfis eosm sa in tylsom mtolas nad wroght eetrlt rwee my a nacshge efil mstei eeecdpnrxie ciesn aesyr;. Otu ti tthhguo way and dnrtpeiiosc uret nnoe ynfun ot paln aecm ifle nda ypla out w)h!ew( sti' ym woh dnewta olwdu eon of ehost i tmsloa. .

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