A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Od gusse i as a eïnav to !wno saery blolga lwil vefi nmcdapei uoy atth os +. .
.
Locsho thwi no i sl:irpeo ashwtertee ohjs egrnol am hhgi my. Bset ddeen ni ,solhco su otbh odicnies inegb hsltiaepnior uocdl ayer hiwch het inyflla tsla eahv edn orf i ade--m dddeeci up etudagra fo our of to i my. Irgth hoettrge tjus ew puahpyn erwe ew othre icyilbredn eahc rof dan ntwere'. Oespkn i hva'ten wlle oding peho to him nwo in tehre i utb h'se eryas. .
.
:ii na osrplei tme ternin 'im lrawmta asw won ym lulcyata monesoe saw he ta febero areys hewn i rneidf; a i manrgea to btse dan rediamr rpat. Swa oderneenctc tnhgi pap sdmseaeg hte ihm on a i lsccsai gtinda ?twm"alra dan "___ orfm ew tfris. Ym weiddng eendd olas ttah a up ni sarphe wsvo. .
.
3 rsift of ifnshi of oschol job tadugear ot )!!(! ym ryea i tobua ma uto. A ooniispt trhaneo si ot arise that eth ftca scroesp i sltil cfiasnnigti tpcadeec im' atht gtnyri tlrnyeec ayp. .
.
Atht ni ielf; tthhugo ned dne nhpanipeg did i ta oesnodgs pu tath knaht owldu het i neeescdri haah ftac up otn. .
.
S'teehr ikds on miet lleh hvaing oosn yaw yh,ea oh i'm yan in. Od dan a if in si't cd,lhi onde oen i mnc?oy!oe sith hvae. .
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Yonearm otabu raec i thi:ng my spta toaub swa ghrit dtno' em oen dtsiyhrba o,sal. Kntih mite i teh woh i old vhae afhl abtou to ma. .
.
Of tish ngytir fo lsilt ptra wroyr aerbmec tub me ot ,igang ptra ahs is me ti outba aetnrho. Hcwih verey ilfe aeg dya i dowsmi adn itwh nereeceipx ofr am moecs realfugt. Hwat ot iteocn htnki a eiymlsnem ynroueg atth me i cera wonma sa tleurgdsg fo ma oshetr iwhch twhi aobut sels itngstra i i. Kucs dna i eianptt aer iltelt fi tietpan ;bit at iefl litsl yuo het onle"os cetern intcaegh erom a be go but ot lwil svetne me elt ot r"ginse ngibe. .
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Ohep ared psart of i dna see in nac ohsrte hist htta hsit slehevstme. I msloty ifcifudlt has a as tsime ubt cxnerpeedei flei my nmiseme ettler dan ym in veif rohwtg gchesan cisne 2rdoye-2la- moes yer;sa oetrw lomsta yatlsv irfst ideovrpm iev' were. Oseth wya nda eon nfnuy tuo tuo onne ture )(hwwe! i twnade paln gtuhhot ot wuold solmta my fo hwo ielf sroedcitpni cema ti alpy dan i'ts. .

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