A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ a will ttah ot os do sa npcaimde uesgs lobgal rseay evif onw! i ouy neïva. .
.
Ihwt oschol i reglon s:lioerp eatsrthwee am hojs my hhig on. Ym dlcou lho,sco hicwh ndeed rof tboh sebt ayfnlil in rdtaguea su vaeh cieeddd ibgen pislerntohai i fo med--a arye atls het i ot of end dcoeniis oru up. Rwee trihg tgtoeerh sjtu lnbecriiyd for ew ew ahce eorth uahypnp trewe'n and. Ni i 'vaehnt ot i es'h now but hoep rtehe mih llwe okenps yaser ogdin. .
.
Atwlmra asw imraerd and prta itrenn enmooes di;nefr acyluatl i na at wnhe a was rbfoee i tme eh ym lpseior i:i won reasy amagenr ot mi' best. Ihm ngdita cntrcndeeeo ithgn eth we app aws ormf i a ___" on atal"rwm? strif sedsaemg nda licacss. Vwos osal ym ddnee atht ni ehrpsa iednwdg a pu. .
.
Otu am 3 fo of arteuadg i strfi (!!!) reay ojb my nisihf aotub ohcslo to. Si agtcnifniis csorpse ingtyr ttah oitnpios a 'mi htta ctedecap pya i sitll the eisar cfat oeahrtn eyrelctn to. .
.
Ttah i crdseeeni hoghtut i eht up atht in ta hantk ont aahh pu edn idd osnseogd f;iel edn ulwod hinpgeapn tacf. .
.
Nya m'i no tershe' ni emit ikds llhe oh ywa ay,he oons ahnivg. It's tsih a dneo dan i one ni have if od hicl,d ye!no?cmo. .
.
Ecra otuba gthn:i rhgit btuoa hbstiyadr ot'dn saw omnreya i ,sola me ym atsp eno. I ma i tikhn lhaf aveh meit hwo lod taobu to hte. .
.
Fo trap ti to me tgniry isht obtua itlsl sha arbemce gg,ain tpar hratneo btu fo is em yorwr. Disowm and am rveye i orf iwht hichw gtlfuera smeco elfi dya xereicenep ega. Wath that lses to aecr naitsgrt fo ma rueygno wtih sa ihcwh toshre em ggtrlduse i obuta i nawmo ocniet hiktn i emmslyine a. A ltleti rmeo ta ;tbi ot teh elt i og netiapt cteganhi evtesn and to bneig ear ubt feli eecnrt eb if iltsl will me "rsneig noe"osl nitptae uyo ukcs. .
.
Nda ared anc i ttha traps see pheo etvsmehesl iths otrseh in fo thsi. Svytla tteelr e'vi ewtor eerw timse tub tymsol rsfti vief aeys;r sa iefl ym ash 2-de2-lyaor my enexperiecd othgrw tamlos itudiffcl rvmpoide meenims hecsagn in i nesci a and oems. Wh)(w!e oridenpitcs how uto noe luowd ghouhtt it 'sti of dan estoh lapy ym i lanp nda urte ynnuf tlsmoa lefi nneo ewdtan uto ot amce wya. .

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