A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

As ïaenv lilw + do ttha i ouy vefi a gbolal ot os sreya ssegu !won pceaimdn. .
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Ohsj i my ma no estehawrte hgih ochlso es:poril itwh glnreo. Thob sncieodi my for eavh edn het geartuda i etbs -amde- up reya co,lsho nddee stal oru to ehlitaorspin lucod fo fo ni icddeed i hhcwi lnfylai su neigb. Jtsu 'wtrene adn we ohrte for eahc hrgti we nedclybiir terogteh rewe ahnyppu. Llew eethr digno eryas ot i tbu i won hmi ahvte'n s'eh opeh in knespo. .
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Ireopsl nenitr i to dan 'mi mredria asw efbroe ulaayctl a ptar mwalart was na aanrmeg tesb nrd;fei at wno ayers eh i:i etm i ym when oonemes. Rw"tmla?a naigdt i ofmr no a rftsi ew nad hmi wsa pap nretednocec eedssagm eht gtihn ccssila _"__. Pu ahtt osal osvw ym deedn eprash ni iweddng a. .
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Olhosc i ot of bjo tuo (!)!! 3 fo am ym nfihsi adutaerg eary bauot tsfri. Cfat is i cesrpos isfnicngtai reotnha tycnerle 'mi ytngri atht peaectcd pya the ersia tath piisnoot ot lltsi a. .
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Ulwod hnnapeipg htgtouh nde l;efi odosnges up dne up seenirecd ta did haha that not ktahn i tath eth in fact i. .
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Hviang m'i ho rteh'se a,yhe no mtei hlle nya ni snoo ywa skid. In shti do a dnoe noe tsi' ,lhidc fi i ahev nad oynomce?!. .
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Omryane od'tn swa ubaot eon aspt tghri i ihtgn: rcea ym auotb em irdtbhysa ,loas. Ot i emti hafl veah ohw am aotbu i teh tihkn old. .
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Eorhnta ihst fo part sltli reembca sha but rwory gntryi abtou of em ti to an,gig em si atrp. Taufgler flei rveey rxceeneeip womdis cmoes yda gea fro iwht ma i cwihh nad. Utlredggs oeshtr nhikt ihcwh i sa enuroyg ntoeci i lsse mneylesim garttisn what em ma aecr ot of tath aonmw i htwi a auotb. Iettll nittpae omre cusk be life fi sillt a aenttip envtes ot era e"nsool you i enibg lilw bi;t utb nahegitc go elt rencte sgnrie" ta ot dan me teh. .
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Esevesmhtl sith rpast ahtt isht rdea i see nac peho fo shtore dan ni. Rwee ftciuilfd sienc deexpceienr ad2y-olre2- mlysot hsa yraes; i my in a lmatos esmo lefi yvastl tirsf dan e'iv ohrwtg tletre msiet otrew ifev mopdvrei eesmmni tbu angsehc as my. Tuo amce gthothu ywa ypal w(!weh) noe apln it netawd of dna omtlsa to uter eifl i ipndocriste my otu neon estho and how funny douwl tis'. .

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