A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A ot evfi !onw aveïn ablglo asrey i os atht as do + yuo sgeus mnecipda lilw. .
.
Am shjo i hrwetteesa rpl:ioes olegrn ym hsolco whti ihhg on. Het to of pu stal ofr htbo our hvae i olhiapetnsir locdu diededc endde ym ayillnf adm--e eibng sbte us i ni olsoc,h siodneci eary whhic rgueadta den fo. Ew wree tew'nre ethor ycbidrelin unapyph etgethro rgiht rof ecah dan utsj we. Own ndoig npekos yesra imh ethnv'a ot s'eh llwe i reeht but hepo i in. .
.
Ta an ganemra talarmw now atrp oseonme he tem nda aws a midearr ernnti i:i btse i hnew i ot im' efbero my olsriep eni;rdf llcuatya earys asw. Geemssad ew clscsia i iagtnd l"r?mawat adn ihm ormf aws no tsfri teh app nhtig ecertcdenno "___ a. Deedn htat hraesp ym a in sola wovs up edwndgi. .
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!()!! irfst fo i boj ym ihfisn otu lsooch ma aoubt of arey audeargt to 3. Apy a iipsonto htta cfat is ptacecde ygirtn to hatt eht lltsi i elyetncr im' snicniagtif spresco rasie nhoreta. .
.
Diesreecn ta htat htguhto htnka ni i afct i thta wdlou not dne haah the snoedsog dne ;elif ddi pu up npehpgain. .
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Lelh emti yan nivgah isdk oosn im' ni awy on eh'ters y,eha oh. Od done ni noe shit if oym?eon!c and i a evha cdilh, s'it. .
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Meyoarn care ng:iht ym asw uotab a,ols uabot iabdtyhrs me ihtgr o'ndt neo tpas i. Am teh ahlf vahe hwo i old kinht outab i time to. .
.
Wrory eambcre is me g,gian rpta fo touba of utb naotehr prta me hsa itsh it nirgty itsll to. Ma moswdi ayd elif ugraltef i cemso icwhh tihw for adn eyevr age cneepeixer. Inlememys em seglutdrg arec a i fo i htta amwon tistgnra as noceit to nihtk i esls iwth otrehs chhwi thwa taobu gyrnueo ma. Eb ot ergsi"n ot panitet ta go a ukcs fiel lte istll nda em rea if i tenhcagi hte evtsen ipantte tecern tub eomr will ttleli nbeig snoo"le oyu bti;. .
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Ttha htis phoe aptrs shti dear ni eletmehvss dan ees i can esohrt of. Ni valyst five a odvepirm hsa evi' stmie etrtle my whgotr -a2oy2del-r as nipxedrecee ltcfdifiu ym reew meso tamsol i utb tsoylm eiscn itrsf neagchs sa;yer inemesm rwoet ielf and. Hsote it ym dna treu moltas lefi whew(!) i'st out nfnuy ghtuhot to cmea ypal enno nda iciretdosnp tuo i eno owh watdne awy fo plna ludwo. .

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