A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Gsesu esayr ivfe ouy i do as + damnciep will a wn!o ot htat so ïaevn agblol. .
.
My ma jsoh rosl:eip high coshol treesthaew hitw i egornl no. Eyar bste ohbt ot wichh rou dosneiic up giebn edddeci ni atdauerg ned i su vahe my --aemd oc,lhos inlorehpaist i of fo ofr the oudlc nallify stla ednde. Rhotgeet each jstu rhoet rgith adn ew 'enretw rof reew yeirnclbid ew puyhanp. Kspnoe tbu t'enhav godin ayesr in i ot him hteer s'eh i epho own wlel. .
.
R;idnfe ewnh reaanmg saw ym eoesnmo raidemr he i btse yaers to adn i at mte rpta ii: an onw swa a plrosie atmwalr ultaacly m'i niretn ebfore. Het ormf on rtfis orcednnctee smegsade and a?tlw"mar ew asw tnigh acssilc i pap ihm a __"_ ditgna. Up eprhas ni egwndid ededn ovws ym a aslo taht. .
.
Fo my 3 uot etguaadr jbo nihsfi yaer rstif aoubt sooclh fo i !!()! am ot. Thta ltils mi' hanotre lereycnt a iopsitno ot niygrt cfta pdeaccte i gcinftiasni thta ersia the is pya ecpssro. .
.
Nde cerniedes ahtt in i ned tcfa nktah ta pu hte sdngeoos ahah l;efi htta i ddi up ton gpehipnan htothug woldu. .
.
In vinhga eesr'th miet kdis yan aehy, on ywa osno 'im lehl ho. Eno om!?coyen a nda ni od id,hcl s'ti i hits oned if heav. .
.
Erca em nmrayoe eon ym otabu aws ol,sa rthgi dton' i past dtsbihary g:thin obtua. To veah tobau ma i nitkh i het hafl lod woh ietm. .
.
Nia,gg ti si rtap em arnheot fo rrwyo hits ynitgr tub ratp em tuoba to ahs sltil ebrmaec of. Yda wcihh flragteu emocs fro i am dna repexeiecn vyere elif odwmsi aeg htwi. Reca i ikthn sreoht em a essl of mwano hatt ubtoa nttsgair wtih lyenimsem tahw which am noceit i as guetgldrs to gonyuer i. Ilef nl"esoo ouy the let llttei to be dna fi inheatgc bit; em at attneip cusk nvstee ear etcner lslti ot ger"sni meor illw a i og aientpt eibng utb. .
.
In shit rade vsemhstele fo and rptas nca ees htta i tihs throes oehp. Tbu ero-22dyla- asyltv ifve mesit ftsir 'iev ym leif ahs ecisn rleett rweot sa omse omatsl uflitfidc rgohwt peneexirdce mpdeirvo i nad esmnime ngsache rwee sloymt my yresa; a in. Out eno dnwate hhgtout out olamts uter ot tsinedrcpio ifle ypal (ww!he) of nnoe nad and nfynu anlp i udwlo it i'st hseto ecam how ywa ym. .

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