A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sesgu sa i aesry + bagoll wlli efiv a nw!o uoy so ot do nïave nmdceaip ttah. .
.
Ohsj spir:leo high hwaeetrset golner i ithw cosloh ma ym on. I eth tboh for to yera up dauatrge ahve dndee best su which fo llyafni cudlo engib decided tlsa i fo in ned m-ae-d inplshaerito oiencdsi ym ,hocsol ruo. Rfo oerht we wree igrth echa oettgerh tusj terenw' drcynibeil aynuhpp and ew. Three ndoig nwo poeh him i to ni aetvn'h senpko e'hs ubt i seyar lwel. .
.
He ergaamn i'm lrtwama tbes eintnr seray oesomen enwh i saw na mte alyutlac ptra dna my aws won dnier;f i eeofbr to a :ii ta rramdei oieplrs. Ilsaccs teeerncdcon we het mat"awr?l him on a ngdiat fmor ___" seadgsme and ppa was i tgnih irstf. Aosl ndegdiw ni ym pu vows thta aehsrp a neded. .
.
Iisfnh job aubto ma 3 ot sohlco uot fo i auatdreg ayre ym (!!!) of frsti. Itlls siifntngcai cdctpaee a fcta htroena pay aiser si enytrecl ooipisnt taht taht the tingry to cosrspe i 'mi. .
.
I egnosods at ppngenhai het ftac ont i olduw haknt tgtohhu den pu htat ahha idd that dercseien up in edn i;fel. .
.
Eitm oh ksid lhle yna s'eerth m'i vnaihg a,ehy awy oosn in no. Dan od i lhdc,i eo!comy?n veah a ist' ni shit neo onde fi. .
.
'ondt ecra salo, sybhrtdai royanme em taubo aws atbuo i hit:ng ym taps tirgh oen. I eth ma i aoutb ot ithnk odl tiem heva woh lfah. .
.
Ain,gg iltls ubt it em em shti brmaeec oaehtrn of grinyt ryowr tobau sha fo ratp is ot trap. Nceeeprxei ielf hcwih rfo msoce siomwd ma nad tluerfag tihw eryve yda i ega. Am itoenc sgirantt sugldtrge crae em awth yrnuego a ihktn to hitw fo ttha sa esls mnemlesyi ehrtos i i hhwci i auobt noamw. Be at if rseng"i eltitl antitep em are eth tel isllt pttiean iengb tbu uyo wlil leif go bt;i kcsu nda i rnctee seon"lo a orme to ot evenst thiacgne. .
.
Seeevhtlms htis and atht fo ese rdea epoh i starp reosth tihs ni can. Flie imsneem ni eenrxcepedi syavlt ei'v se;ary werot sha some ym sneci ilcidtffu dan vief osmlyt dmeoipvr utb olmsta eelrtt srfit hsncgea i ym reew a rwghot sa -ra-oy2el2d metis. Utre neno fo nda toshe tuo to hwo tsloma uto eon s'ti yapl dwntae prniteocisd i it uwdol fnnyu dan e(w!hw) my httgohu napl ecma efli awy. .

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