A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot os vfei ouy o!nw liwl + od asrey i goalbl a ssueg as pnciemda tath evanï. .
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I :soeirpl my rtahseteew wthi on ma ohjs ongelr locosh hhig. Ibgne lsat osh,ocl enedd edocnsii ot ciededd md-ae- raye den hhwic oru up gtaduear hte i oaeiltrpinhs su ayilfnl tbho of i fo setb eavh orf duclo ni my. Htetoerg pyhpuna weer ehac hrtoe tsuj biidneylrc rfo dan gihtr we tern'we we. Htree hmi anv'het i but won 'hse i esrya epho to keopsn lewl ni ndgoi. .
.
A neamagr to mte niretn bset an now eislpor mrieard patr wsa ctaaully lmtrawa i eh im' ta i bofere saw neosoem nda reysa ym enwh ii: freidn;. _"__ saw hte we pap cdncrnteeoe thnig intgad asedmseg scislca tfsri no i a and ofmr mih ml"warat?. A pu raephs eeddn sovw ni my sloa gdndewi htta. .
.
Eyra am sifhin tuo ym lhsoco ot rtisf gutdraea 3 abuto fo fo !!(!) i ojb. Tfac postioni cptecade the easri elytecrn ot ehnoart is im' i espcors niicisantfg ltlis pay atht nitgry ahtt a. .
.
Ta inserdcee up dlwuo ahha edn ni sdeoonsg thta idd the ont ilef; i ahtnk hiegappnn catf ttah end toutghh i up. .
.
Oh 'ehtsre osno no nhvagi ni dksi ,ahey lhel wya yna mtei mi'. In a hvea if deno eno stih ldhci, adn od on!?ocmey tis' i. .
.
Me psta gihnt: my uaotb eomnayr asw i ybaitdrsh aobtu rghit caer saol, neo 'odnt. To temi tnkih odl how lafh i ma aubto hte i avhe. .
.
Touba sillt nytigr tbu sah em aptr fo to ia,ggn ti ratp si neotrha ywror em of shti rcmebae. Nda taguferl hwit wodsmi veyer i mcsoe fro ma pexeenrice hihcw ady feli ega. I wnamo to i chihw as rcae orhset strngiat i am eogruny atth toaub cieont iemlesnym ihwt htwa em nkiht sggltedru sels a of. Tanhceig itlsl yuo eth ot eenvts etlilt em se"onlo erom illw cnetre btu ta if og piatetn a be nad gbien tinptea i lfie let ot aer sneg"ri kusc ;tbi. .
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Isth tsrap pheo in i cna vhsetseelm of ese nda ihst rsoeht ader htat. Mpdveoir stomal eimsemn as my hsa erwe i vasytl oerwt incse sirft e2ya-ro2ld- smite some gheancs molsty ve'i a utb ivfe sye;ar adn retlet woghrt ym rexepenedci lfie ficuidtlf ni. Smltao onne otu its' cmae teru my i elif lpan ot htoes ww!he)( uto nda aewtnd aypl one pnoidsetirc wya ohw of tughoth it adn ynnfu wolud. .

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