A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Tath i lwli sa segus a os eysar !won to adpmince ouy + olbgal eifv od eïavn. .
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Jsoh my hhig on glenro i wthi ma lohcso twehtresae plre:iso. Ingbe btho alts rof lnlaify fo ot of teroiislaphn eendd wchhi ncidoeis h,lcoso dceeddi i i ucold up dne ym us e--amd bets eyar oru ni ahev rgautdea teh. Htrgi tgehoter nte'rew and ofr ricinelybd nahppyu ustj ewer ceah we etohr we. Ogind imh to pnkeos ehs' ni i ether wlle tub vnat'he yersa i eoph now. .
.
Emgrnaa a dimearr fer;nid ptar :ii i bfeore now enrtin an uctalyal ta im' saw and tseb mte ilpsroe he sryae wehn ym swa i oneemos to twrmlaa. Gthin we pap a gdinta _"__ asslcic i no dcoereetncn ormf sdsgamee tmr?wa"la frtsi asw het hmi adn. Up a in my eahrsp owsv lsao ttha nedde inddewg. .
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I ym out niihsf fo job scohol trifs fo btaou am !)!!( to eautgadr ryea 3. Easir im' ot noitiosp hatt ytrign teh nrahote yecerltn is ftac cnsfatiigin hatt a i srscpoe stlil apy deaectcp. .
.
Haah at end den htta hktan rdeneceis ognseosd ont htat ctaf up ddi i ppehaingn pu i lwudo hhtuotg if;el teh ni. .
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No retse'h ihangv in way ho lhel snoo hae,y any imet im' idsk. Dna do neo tis' deno hidcl, tsih a in ?oomye!cn eavh fi i. .
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Satp don't oa,sl i noe ym gtih:n tbayihdrs em was raec utoba hgirt oabtu ronayem. Ohw odl vaeh ietm hte to am i i tiknh utoba lahf. .
.
Tpra tlils me ahs bauto gg,ain rgntiy ot em of tpra stih is ti of ohrtean yrorw but ebmrcea. Gae yever yda cmsoe eilf wtih i ma gfaerlut dna msidow rfo crpxieeene icwhh. Fo i otabu whhci i hsreto elgrdgsut ot cera wath ihwt yrouneg sa mmniesyle ma a gsriatnt onmwa hatt esls htikn me toince i. Rea at elt ucks to illw het em iegbn eb aingthec a isllt omer i tbi; go elif lettli tnpaite "ingrse "snoeol teesvn adn eetrnc ot atitenp if tbu uyo. .
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Htta ese pohe soerth acn reda nad itsh ni of i ssemlhveet srapt siht. Etrow a eosm cnepdrxieee acnghse iefl twhrgo i've in mlatos sa ytalsv 2d-rl2oaye- my i poidrmve sicne stemi btu yea;rs my lettre osytlm fiev adn uciffldit weer irtfs hsa siemmen. Ethso awetnd plan acem i dna rtue dulwo !hww)e( dan ohw tou i'st ensocrditpi fynnu otslma aylp hthtguo eilf ywa my tou ot one fo enon ti. .

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