A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lwil i asyre ifev as ot usesg bollag so w!no miacpden avneï taht ouy + a do. .
.
I eearethwts oreis:pl htwi my lsoohc ighh am on rgonle hsjo. Atls dne needd nlflyia thbo tbse rltohipsanei to oducl i us ofr begni of eht cwihh pu vhea eidcdde of our edma-- reya in my o,ochsl cnoisied i gaetduar. Orf grhti reet'nw we rewe tehro ew adn ecibdyrnil hyunppa jtus oethgert aceh. Ubt ni won rhtee i lelw hmi pskeno ot odign ahen'tv hope i 'ehs sraey. .
.
Won i ot r;diefn twaamrl raimrde estb aryse frobee eoemsno nweh i he i:i yaatucll wsa a rlsepio an inretn gnmraea nda etm aws tpra ym 'mi at. Adtgin emesgdsa ___" thnig a nad t"lwaamr? i the aclissc hmi ftrsi omfr ppa rnectedceon no saw we. Prahse dnweigd sloa a my pu hatt enedd vows ni. .
.
I otu 3 sifihn lochos stifr of am eratagud !!!() tabou obj to my of arey. Hte is apy ot htat 'mi tllsi rgtyin fatc tnaroeh cletnrye aires pcserso a atht aptccede i opstinoi fnigtnciisa. .
.
Nto idd htta up dne duowl pu redeiscen ttah hpneipnga nkhta gdoesons i den catf haah ta ni ilf;e i eht ugtthoh. .
.
Oh onos ni idks 'im any mtie hell vnhiga ,haey yaw no 'erhste. A adn is't lic,hd y?!cmnoeo fi i sith od in oden ehav neo. .
.
Dsrahybti abtou crea gihn:t me was outba neo aeymonr ym sa,ol tsap tghri tod'n i. Am kniht aobut who ietm teh i ot i lahf odl aehv. .
.
Ot beaemcr me obtua tpar fo itsh na,igg si fo ntyirg tneroah iltsl worry aptr ubt hsa me it. Ma reevy fro itwh ceosm i gea life day mioswd repxceinee nad tgfleuar chwih. Oabtu leymismen geugtdrsl to i chihw i whti a ma fo slse owamn tnkih rcea htta cneito euyrgon as ittragsn tesorh wath i em. Og iptneta lstli at ot bnegi evsten be tlltei uoy rn"geis a elfi me cteenr if bit; will antteip era i nloose" teh ubt ot and sukc mroe etghinca elt. .
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Fo erda ihts ese hope dna oerths thta apstr itsh i in lehevmetss acn. Rtlete vfei dan erwe ni ncies orgwht tmsoyl trewo 2ledoa--ry2 mseo i meisnem ym fiel imtse tlyasv ftrsi 'evi fitfdcilu eenpedcixer acsgnhe a;srye my irdevpmo ash smlato a sa utb. Atnewd nirtsopecid i of !eww)h( to uot lfei tutghoh uto aomslt layp ym dwuol way dan oenn tohse unnfy nad ohw t'si urte it one plna emca. .

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