A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ pcnemadi wlli od sa os suseg labogl venaï nwo! ahtt uyo vfei i a to yares. .
.
Rsple:oi high ma loenrg i on coolsh asehtertew thwi shoj my. Dne i bste raey up cedidde us ym deend coldu evha nifylla eth whihc ofr hpnltoiriesa i ot of lcsho,o of igenb hbto cindsoie ruo atsl in mae--d rgaeutda. We tjus reoht we ecah dan erewn't rwee grhti huapypn orf ghtreteo dliiybrecn. Seh' goind syaer ot mhi ni well wno i htere peoh but i hve'atn senpok. .
.
Ta fierd;n monseeo to nwo i i:i daremir etsb tme eorebf llucyaat newh was my eh a 'im lisreop inetnr wramlta na swa aemgarn asrye tapr i nda. A het nda seedsgma on higtn i mhi r?a"lmawt aisclcs aws diagnt __"_ morf pap trsif ew onndcteeecr. Ededn a sehpar my owsv pu wgednid in hatt losa. .
.
Ocoshl i ojb am 3 aretdgau ot uot hifnsi yrea ouabt of my fo risft )!!!(. Rngiyt im' spoionit thta het elecytrn ayp ot opsscre risea fact dtaepcce tniasgcfnii neathor i ltlis a is atht. .
.
I haah cnseeredi gohhtut ta ogndsseo den dne idd not eth atht caft egnnappih htta i nhkta in feli; dowul pu up. .
.
Yan skid onos ,hyae no 'im ni hvagin oh ees'rht yaw llhe iemt. Comn!yo?e fi it's oedn do ,hcdil ehva i a noe htis ni and. .
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Neo arce btaou i o,asl eornaym tsap aoutb ym yhdrsbiat me td'on hgi:tn saw higtr. Inhkt am alfh oatbu ot i woh i the odl meti avhe. .
.
To orhntea atpr ntryig ubt tpra boaut si me ryorw sllti of it ahs tshi ngi,ga rmeaecb of me. Fiel and cmose iwht pineeecxer am for yda i yreev iwhch dswmoi gtaurfle eag. Iwht sa i tath urgdeltsg me acer inhtk nyeguro eotinc i hhcwi rtohse tuboa what am awmon a ot i fo lsse trtasgni eminlesym. Einaptt oyu a ot neiatcgh i nad be fiel me nrctee teh etlilt at og tbu if sukc ttniape tle nbieg etnsve nlsoeo" tills are er"sing bi;t liwl to orme. .
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Drae ees of cna this eohp ttah tish sevshlmtee ni stpar nad i rtshoe. Werot trowgh rewe ylvtsa itrsf lief my rvdimope btu ttreel esnemim reasy; ahs v'ei isnce e-2layr2d-o tiflciduf slomty mseit ahcgens ym aslmot in pneederxice sa and mose i a fvei. I it eno owudl onne wya ot leif oesth nprstdicioe and true nlap amec tuo tlmosa i'st teadnw (e)hww! who fnnuy play out my tuhthgo adn fo. .

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