A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

No!w gsseu lilw goblal asyer + ifve a nacemidp so veïna i ouy do that to as. .
.
:sreplio iwht elrogn hloocs my hjos i ma high sthaterewe on. Sbte fo rsiltpaoehni coiedisn hwihc i fo ,coohsl dm-a-e bhto in my su uro haev ndeed i rof nlylfia ryea cdulo pu tsal deeddci ot nde the giben ergdtaua. Nad were liiecyrdnb tw'eren hcea ew for rhgti ujts ew tghteero hreto pnhaupy. Tub in llwe ngodi rehet eohp imh nvta'he i eonkps hse' won yasre i ot. .
.
Ebst i i:i tme at a saw idmrare nseoeom ieosplr won wsa reofeb and i atrlamw rysae ntirne lualacyt na hewn i;enrdf artp im' naaermg eh my to. Morf dssmegea eth tgnhi sicascl asw ceencdteron a mih ppa ___" siftr i no dan we tdiang rmat"wal?. In oals igwdden that a sovw dndee asprhe my pu. .
.
Of !()!! fo eary uabto job uot ym olcsho to gautdaer 3 ihinsf ifstr i ma. Acft atht riase tgniry sitioopn hte taht orspsec nartohe i ecdcatep a si enryltec iiastfnnigc mi' ot apy itsll. .
.
Ttah did erncidese dne hatkn pu ta htta ni nde dseogosn up ahha udwlo i i tghutoh ;lief the fcta not gpeanihnp. .
.
Hlle etsreh' on hgvian yhea, nya im' mtie wya dsik in oh noso. Onde neo dna a !m?eocnyo od fi this i ni id,hcl st'i vaeh. .
.
Mnearoy i psat higrt dtno' em saw iyrdabtsh botau noe tbuao ,oals raec thng:i my. Eht i ma kthni ot emit i fhal ouatb who lod ahev. .
.
It utb ginag, yginrt orryw sah fo trap fo atubo bmarece to isht tpar em tisll is nahrote me. Ryvee ieepnxeecr ecoms rof owsmdi hitw efugtarl yad eilf eag nad iwchh i ma. Ctione ma to a acer ttsnagir as htwa me hwihc i essl i thikn taoub thwi ahtt fo imeyemlns uoegrny delrgtugs i reosth amnwo. Fi eth let oleons" to go i tbu ta ear roem tevsen pntitae tiltle to life lliw a slitl kscu oyu tatnepi b;ti giatchne "isergn em be renect nebig and. .
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Hsmteveels nad read ees fo tarsp i htoers anc this thta tshi opeh ni. Aschgne veif 2olr-aey2d- sceni flie nda ahs a sa fiufctlid 'iev i ym prxieceedne ;easyr ltteer whrtgo erotw ni olstym my ewre nmimese trsif meso amlsto smeti tbu lsayvt ivmrdpeo. Ynnfu eilf aypl wuold shteo ewtdan of tuo to pnal w)!hw(e nda tou rcdonepisti neon adn my i hwo 'ist gtuothh ecam teru stlmao ayw noe it. .

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