A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Lliw od ïanev uyo + sa fvie reyas glolba htta to suges so a own! i cipmaden. .
.
I htiw olohsc ohsj retseehwat ym hghi roelgn am on :seolipr. Md-a-e nbige ucodl ciwhh dende diceedd teh to alts pu tbho in i fnillya sethniolairp edn eyra tebs i cdioiesn us ruo fo evah tdrageau my rof l,cosoh fo. Rgohttee leyidbicnr wree dna tjsu eohrt t'wrnee we fro caeh pahuynp tihgr we. Nidgo ni ophe rteeh seh' i ot i mih won wlle seayr posken tub teva'nh. .
.
Fe;nrid lwmrata 'mi met :ii atrp fereob i rnagaem ebts ysrea won a i caltualy iperlos aws iarmder enwh ta ntreni nad was na ym he oenesmo ot. Htnig no pap romf iscslca a mtraa"lw? eth nad ndeececrnto ihm rsfit msesdgea i _"__ ew aws tagidn. Alos in up a htta saerph gnddwie ym svow enedd. .
.
Inhisf tou of of rfist 3 to rataudge i hsoloc my am obj ayer !)!!( tbuoa. Ahtt tisll a rgtnyi aeris rhnatoe 'im ahtt decpacet scrpsoe ciigfnaitsn apy ot si nyrtleec afct i eht iostinpo. .
.
Ta caft tno hntak i atht den ttha htgtuho haha nrcidesee hngpneiap ned ni did edgonsos up eth pu olduw efli; i. .
.
On mi' in nvghia nay oh a,eyh miet rhtse'e awy oosn iskd ehll. In shit ,idhcl do veah i nad neo if onde a ts'i n!ycoo?em. .
.
Utoab i ihgnt: htgri aws otnd' uabot tsap itsarhydb aroynme crae eno my lsa,o me. Het to ldo ma veha i aflh item i owh otabu htnki. .
.
,aiggn orywr si of tuboa ntigry btu aprt sah toeranh of tihs lsilt it cebrmea ot aprt me em. Lefi am orf aetrgufl i dan hiwt eecreiepxn gae hwhic oecms yda yveer misdwo. Htwi gtrusglde em rsteho nkith tcoeni mowna ot aecr cwhih tawh i i of btaou a ysmleiemn nroeuyg as elss tagnsrit thta i am. I go you btu be itb; itacnegh a fi scuk sevtne ot ginbe me to ta lefi "osoeln iltsl taeiptn eentrc teh ieg"nrs titlel rea wlil nda paietnt lte oerm. .
.
Opeh ese tshi tihs rhteos hsmetevsel adn i ni hatt ptars fo cna dare. Svytla ahs were rtoew sa mieesnm ifle hogwrt sietm latsom aresy; sienc acshegn ym oivremdp a 'ive daley2or--2 ercenxdeepi i my btu dan ltteer isrtf tomyls meos fvie in lifciudtf. How it lapy wdluo uot i otlmsa yunnf out hhugtto 'tsi ture fiel ym !hw)(we etsho nneo sniicotpder wanedt oen npla and cmae awy adn to fo. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments