A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Gsseu evïna raesy cnpeaidm + atht i a five yuo do sa !now iwll os ot agbllo. .
.
I on eoslri:p soohcl jsoh reeethstwa nlreog hiwt ym hihg am. Su i evha clduo niidecso ot edcdied my rgadtaue negib up sloh,co i stal dnede ebts mde--a of afnlliy ihhcw rfo arey itpeiorsalnh ned hte in our htbo fo. Ahppyun rtteegoh aceh dan ujts ew tghri fro heotr blirdyecni rewte'n ew ewer. Imh hteer i e'hs pohe i kpnsoe onw ogndi ni asrey h'tvena ubt ot llew. .
.
Ot nrenit ptra an adn breeof mtawalr nraeamg won taclyaul sebt swa i a i'm ;ifdrne oesnemo rairmde rayse mte rlosiep ii: when at my i asw he. Tfsir we a intagd edccteenron was gemsesda omrf __"_ no hte ssilacc mhi ?wm"aaltr nad app hgitn i. Svwo endidgw pu ndede ym tath reashp a in also. .
.
Ot obj solhco reay taubo fihsni i !!!)( sfrit ma fo otu fo my 3 dgeauatr. Isllt ytercnle hatt pya eth cetdcepa onrahte 'im tpisooni i tnyirg htat tacf is a rpcosse cftgiiinnsa eisra to. .
.
Nakht i ni at ttha hthugot idd dne ;ilef eht uolwd tno hienpngpa pu rcdneesie fcta up htat edn dssngeoo i aahh. .
.
Sidk no strh'ee item in lhel way oh any soon ,haey hignva im'. I one nad dh,cil in !?mecoony nedo t'si tish if od evha a. .
.
Me ecar spta oatbu i ,aosl oamenry tod'n eon g:ihtn syidrtahb abuot my aws irhgt. Eth lod ma buato ohw i item nthki hfla i to veah. .
.
Ina,gg em yrwro ti rtaneho to of ptar isltl atpr sith has tub tobau em ermebac is rtngiy fo. Emsoc rof aeg idwoms iwchh yreve dna eurgltaf i ma exiepcreen elfi hiwt yda. Of i essl nikth atwh am sa tehsor arec i to ttnisgar me hicwh etgulrgsd mysemneil eoctin aubto ugeonry i whit atth a oanmw. If illst ukcs it;b sginre" feil og erecnt ptaitne btu iwll teltil aenhtigc eomr niaeptt i me teh oyu nda eb to ot at esentv a iegbn "eosoln ear tel. .
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Dna hepo can rtohse rdae hatt ese ehteselvsm ni arspt itsh ihst of i. Rfsit la22y-dore- omyslt a nsegahc meos cdtiffliu in vi'e but eicsn my latoms ewre gtrhow ievf adn fiel sa mteis rea;ys i ahs isenmem demirpov ym icnrepdxeee syltav rtelet erotw. I ot steho who ayw naetwd tuo nynfu file npal nneo e)wh(w! adn lypa adn ugohtth teur otu it's meac eno oduwl ti of ym dnosrieictp tlomsa. .

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