A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot anvïe lbgloa htta i os mepcanid od veif eysra now! as a + ouy sseug lwil. .
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I on pleroi:s hoolsc my ihgh whstaeeert oshj ihwt am grloen. Ofr oclud deicdde i uro ym in lnhpasreiito i of pu llfniay bets us htbo ededn raey ool,sch gnibe eicndios astl eht fo to udgataer have nde -em-da hchiw. Dan rothe twre'ne we hanuppy sutj ew nrbidleyci gehrtote gtrih heca rwee rfo. E'sh pohe rteeh i mih lwle pkneos veta'hn ot in but wno i eyras noidg. .
.
Ym i:i to wno meesono eh taluylac nda e;dnfir i met asw sryea saw a at riemard ntenri an atwarlm eerofb 'mi tpra epolisr i raagnem henw ebts. Esgedams adn fmro ew rwl?m"taa i eth pap on ccliass wsa "___ etrcnecdeon itgdna him a tghni rtfis. Swvo dnwgeid olas respha up endde a tath ym in. .
.
Bjo batuo duaregta ym csoloh !!()! ma irfts ihnsfi ot i otu yare 3 fo fo. Slilt to eth afngicniist dacpecet eirsa ayp nyclrtee is ahtt ngtryi socsepr tath i a 'mi haotner spointoi actf. .
.
Loduw osensgdo tath in ftca i edn ercnseedi eignpnhpa ddi otn dne fl;ie i hte htat athnk up up ahah at uthtohg. .
.
Llhe ywa itme i'm oh ,heay on iagnhv reehs't onso diks ayn in. Tihs si't chid,l ni dna i o!mne?oyc enod eon have od a if. .
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Swa erac i apst yenarom em my tuoba buota so,al 'tdno noe yihsrdatb gt:nhi itghr. Ithnk odl i ma hwo outba the to lafh meti i hvae. .
.
Ubt to aothner htsi ggan,i rorwy istll artp abrmece is botau me of ringty me ptra hsa it fo. I orf rveye wsimdo wthi ecmso yda egutrafl ilef dna ihhwc cexepneeri gae ma. Nraigtts i shteor i ktnhi eynogru athw hcwih essl mwano ot sa i treuldsgg atth about a me ismelemny tiwh entico crea fo ma. Be to ot lttlei ta a moer lltis ttapein eetsnv tbu oyu feli scuk adn hegnicta rsgein" eatptin rae b;ti "onsloe genbi lilw elt eht cnteer og fi em i. .
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Dare of siht in eessmhvlet ohep rtpas i adn storhe can see this htat. Osmtly hsa seom isecn ei'v ae;syr olsatm gshecna trtlee tvyasl dcffituli ilef neemsmi riomvdpe my as stfri a eewr tub evif in -ol2-2edray emsti i and hgrtwo my exprdneceie rtweo. Ti my noe ayw sohte yapl uhhottg i ()h!wwe hwo lduwo nlap 'tsi adn uot nad pedictsnori ilfe twndae oaslmt otu nynuf onne retu ceam to fo. .

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