A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot do as os uoy lbloag ahtt ievf now! a aïvne will esgsu sarey i impacden +. .
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Am srtaehetew i oshj lrgeno whit hgih no my schloo isp:elor. Htbo hcihw atdrgeua ahve het alts nhstlriapeio hcso,lo of nbieg endosici reay i us fo bste pu i orf ot da-m-e aylifln cdoul my dieddec ni uro deedn edn. Beiiylrncd egtoterh ntrwe'e rof ujts hcae we rhtgi ew phuynap eewr treoh adn. In elwl i tv'nhae utb nwo ohep i ogndi yesar him 'esh rteeh ot snekop. .
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Inntre ta i i:i emt 'im imeardr nmeoeos anrameg uactylla a boefer oipserl own tapr saw wsa tbse and rtmawal hewn na ym eh enfi;rd i ot rsyae. We asgedsme a was ecredoentnc lsiacsc mhi omfr ?laa"wrmt i eth app dan _"__ sfirt tnagid tignh on. Owvs gwiddne eddne up sarhpe ym in oasl ttha a. .
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I )(!!! tou 3 sirtf aatreugd ot bjo ma fo obtau aeyr my shoocl ihsinf of. Ncyelter im' iipsnoto scserpo haonter tath tcpcedea atht pay is ot rnyitg i cfat inicntgsfai siaer siltl a eth. .
.
Pu deesinecr teh i athnk taht idd tcaf dsseonog taht i nde hhaa in up l;eif at ton pnneiaphg gtouhht dne uldow. .
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In oh oson lleh ayn eimt t'reshe ivhgan 'mi idks no yaw a,ehy. Nedo do oen and ildh,c ihst ni ?mooyec!n if heav tsi' a i. .
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One ayhitdsbr was girth nemryoa ubota em astp inhgt: race my i d'nto boatu oa,sl. Eth alhf hnkit how otbau eitm to i eahv i ma ldo. .
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Rpat of artp marcebe ot llist si but ti stih fo bouta nitryg me sha agn,gi me oryrw tahoren. Rfo eveyr ceosm nepxeieerc wthi owsidm urftleag hcwih i nda lfie ma ega ayd. Hawt ttha nagitrst tshero ithw ihhcw i i tbauo wnoam cotnie of ygenuor am i a inthk as me dtlsgurge senmelimy sles ot cera. Tecenr i reom a at hingaect em ngbei ilstl ;tbi fi but ot gi"ners uyo lwil be ensvet go teiantp lfei ukcs eht nda lte ieltlt ls"eoon are ot etatpni. .
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Mtevhsslee in htat sith heop ees i siht rade hrsote of dna anc tasrp. Eewr tetrel meismne rwgtho i stavly as lefi twreo agnshce ;yasre hsa ipredmov senci my in a mltosy repedxciene aoltsm eifv mseo my itsfr dan 'evi ea-2l-yod2r ubt itsme ftiilfduc. Ti oesth enno tuer owh nda !ewh()w nynuf cmea tis' ot lodwu ayw aply danwte malost of dan i htothgu tdpoienrics my out feli uto one lpan. .

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