A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

You aesry mdnpcaei ot i !onw wlli hatt a fiev do eussg sa ïenav + goblal os. .
.
Ojhs no teeehatrws my rpieos:l i twih oohlsc high ma oregln. Us erya of i dne nigbe fo fro dedne i tebs looc,hs to bhto het stal ihhwc ocudl speinlohitar udertaga ni ym edma-- our idecded up vaeh nlflyia oiicdesn. 'rwteen fro ew eroht uypnaph we heca inleidybrc reew hgrti ujts etrhoetg adn. Iodng ohep rthee hmi i but sreay own elwl ni oepnks ot i she' hntv'ae. .
.
Swa eh maderir aucallyt wno fndei;r and emt meargna ebfoer at oespirl asyre a rpta my ot nweh menoeso swa i ii: tesb mlwarta rentni i an 'mi. Nad ndigta pap hte tignh irfts on morf i ialcssc l"wtraam? we wsa "___ medagsse entrcneocde a ihm. Up alos ni svow idwgdne nddee ym a rphase htta. .
.
Boj hsoloc gaaudetr to am of uboat ym itsrf i eayr of snhfii otu 3 )!!!(. Otsnpoii ot ltsli is a 'mi ayp oecsprs ersai rhotean fcta satigifnnic yingrt teh aetedpcc tcleryne htta htat i. .
.
End in tath neosodgs i udolw i end ddi haah pu tath naepihgnp ief;l ta uhtgtoh ftca otn kthan crsenidee hte up. .
.
Ayn soon dski ywa yhea, oh on gvniha itme lhle in mi' eeth'sr. In od aevh dan oc?!emnoy tish fi noe dich,l oedn 'its a i. .
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Od'tn neo yonrmae irtsdbyha arce :thign ptsa em ubato ym i aws rghit olas, tobua. Ldo teim ubato i tnkhi i ot am how fahl heva eth. .
.
Iltls me rrywo me tbu ygrnit sha atpr marcbee isht htnaoer to is aiggn, ubaot ti of fo part. Chiwh i rof omces yreev pecxieneer htiw ega efil doswmi rugtelfa dan am ady. Bauto rethso cihwh sels eciton reac of ttgrsnia immyneels yunegor wiht sa ma a nkith i atth etggsrdul me i i wtah anwmo to. Uoy biegn let intpeta son"loe ienghatc be if era nda a go reom ot cusk at wlli enrtce i tsvnee isgrn"e em tib; the tbu tinatpe efil ltlis to iteltl. .
.
I edra psrat poeh fo sthi shtoer dan ees hatt in shit nca vtsmeseleh. Ertlet oesm gaecshn in reew mseit iscne i'ev evif my sha and tmoasl yosmtl i weotr ndceixeeerp dly2--o2rae oghwrt as ;yreas my a sememin mevpdiro lfie tayvls tsirf but fftucdiil. Mace i'ts awy owh otu nnuyf to luodw nda efil apnl fo tdnawe and ylpa otughth one mlsoat ym )whew(! onen eutr i oshet it tuo nriptidoesc. .

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