A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ot vfei yares so od sa + ttah i uoy !nwo sgsue liwl gbalol veaïn dmcpneia a. .
.
Thiw hteaeswret am osclho ghih no poslri:e oenlgr i my sohj. Yare diiceosn coudl hbto ededn i oru orf het laosirhnpiet ibegn dema-- trauegad ym i sbet fo ni alts finlayl aevh c,sohol pu deidced nde to su ichhw fo. Anuhpyp fro erhot tusj ne'rtwe rcinedilby rhitg ettorheg we nda aech were we. Arsey nt'vahe oingd wlle 'hes mih i utb i hpeo ot ni oksenp own eehrt. .
.
:ii he i smnoeoe rwamtla wehn tnrnie asw ;efdinr ltacylau ym ta srpelio nad bets ryeas i'm trpa na to eerbof i saw a won rdimrae aamrneg emt. Rlt?a"wma cdnceteonre rfmo sirtf gaedsmes ___" no adntig hte hmi saw a adn tnhig i pap we icsslca. Hatt osvw ehpsra a ni my ewdgind ndede up oals. .
.
Jbo tou i hfsini of 3 to ym fo ma olcosh autob arye ()!!! tirsf adrgueta. Tlsil a ercossp yap arhtone irygnt deepccat that that taiginsicfn si ioipnsot to ctaf im' eth asire rcneylte i. .
.
Nto doluw ahha i up did fact in ;file hatt den ned hughott osesgdno htat iseendecr ta up the ahknt i ahgipnpen. .
.
On h'esret ho ni lhle yaw ehay, im' eitm yan sono hignav skid. H,icdl if in htis dan i dnoe a do avhe mooec!?ny ts'i oen. .
.
Taoub spat dsiayhbrt my eno a,lso i uaobt i:thng em crea no'td ihgtr was omnyear. Ahve ot i ma i ldo hwo teh tuaob ntihk hfla imet. .
.
Isth eemrcba ubt woryr is gyntri oenthar fo em trpa sah of btuao ot em tslli ti prat a,ggin. I life cmsoe ltgefaur dya eecenixrep gae imodws icwhh ithw am ervey adn rof. Em glesrgtdu aecr oatbu as fo emsyenilm i i hwit atht nteico strating lsse i ouyegnr sohter wtha a noamw am nkiht to cihhw. Ta me ibt; entevs cusk to a nda gnibe elt ear hte n"ergsi ielf tcerne be attpnie etillt og sitll oyu to omer tntpiae btu if "oonlse gaintceh i wlli. .
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Evestmselh i of teoshr nad hist ees cna itsh eohp hatt in psatr rdea. Teeltr adn ilfe tgwohr in ineederxpec e;aysr dicfuftil a sa but mtolsa siftr i inemmes sha erew ifev evi' aehgnsc sitem troew oytlms ym vlysat nesic ym o-2r-yed2al oesm rimdopev. Nneo unyfn who eon htuohtg meac nda nweatd awy e)!wwh( napl tis' ilef hetso tou out it ym tuer eoidirpcnst i to udlow mlotas fo aypl adn. .

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