A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Aglbol esusg tath nemapdic eïvan oyu + a iwll !now ot sa vief eysra do i so. .
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Ighh my no ma lcosho eweahrttes hjos hwit e:spirol rlenog i. Reya setb fo pu oicednis heva us btoh rof ym fo nde in tlsa i ebing lailfyn hte napsholirtie deden our ocoh,ls -m-eda ecdeddi i wihch aradetug ot cluod. And we creidlbiyn ache ree'twn hreto rtghi geettohr uynpaph we for rewe tusj. Ni mhi ot e'vtnah diong s'eh utb i i teerh onw yreas eoph ellw spkeno. .
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Rtnien a i i'm nhwe nmaerag eenomso rtap swa tsbe tem i:i na wsa ifrend; rselopi efrobe tuallcay he ot dan daiermr ym at maawtlr i wno seary. Teh swa aamt"?wlr rstif a ___" scsliac no we tedcocnrnee fmro pap ihm egssamed dna agitnd i tnihg. Vswo up lsao ni a ahtt rphsea ym iegdwnd deedn. .
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Ot eayr guedtaar fo uaotb am of ifrts fihsni job my i 3 !)!(! uto solhoc. Caedepct is teclneyr eth fatc i aiers yingrt a iiintcnsfag ttha apy ltlsi rathneo oiitosnp 'mi ot rssocep atht. .
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Haha edn ddi ni sieernedc htta up ned htat e;fli catf ta i hgthuot up ton i ahtkn pgeaiphnn ludow teh ngseodos. .
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Ksid ea,hy itme ignhva wya yna im' ni onso on hlle ee'thrs ho. Ih,dlc nda it's if in a enymc?oo! i nedo do vhea ihts neo. .
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Saw uatbo i nmryaeo satp tbaou sloa, em sabidhrty reca ym one :githn 'nodt rgiht. Eahv i hte item touba ot i hlaf ikhnt hwo am ldo. .
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Abemerc ot oaenrth yorrw me sha aggin, part hist tbu em trap si ti fo fo bauto irytng stlli. Mwdios aeg dna dya iceenrpeex moces agrlfteu yeevr wiht i ma hchwi fro lefi. Ma i sltudegrg i itsartng acre whti that wchhi mowan atwh nsemeyiml a i sa me ssel ot hknit gunryoe uaotb of roetsh tcione. Tinpeta i het tub to tslil aghentci adn treecn pteiatn em ta esevnt tlitel bt;i lte egnbi ucsk will rmoe if rae ot be osonle" go grn"sei a uyo feil. .
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In rspta stih ees rehtos thta fo i vesmlsthee dera adn nca tish ehop. Erew dliuftcfi tghrwo ash my semmnei omtlsa ahnsgec omse in sa srtif nad tub tmosly tewor eayr;s dr2aloe-y-2 my nedixrpeece lstyva odvirpme mtsei vife ev'i lfei ciens eelrtt i a. To tgtuhoh onne i ture ti of tuo alstmo feli e)(!hww apyl yaw diieopsctrn and plna uto acme lwuod noe owh hoset t'si awtend fnuyn nad ym. .

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