A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A raeys i atth sseug lliw uoy o!wn npeiamdc bollga so to as nïave ifve + od. .
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Lepros:i scholo hsjo glerno i ihwt am hihg ym saetretweh no. Teh ltas hchiw i eignb edn agraeutd m-d-ea ruo flniyal of ryae fro ot obht of eednd uocdl us up ddedice my estb ahev seioncdi ihoiaespntlr in i ochlso,. Aupnhyp getroeht tirhg ahce ohtre just e'nrtwe we ew orf dan rewe ilydincreb. Osknpe asyer ni mhi ohep nogid now lwel hvetan' i to heter utb i h'se. .
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Tpra smenoeo etm to lcayluat own ramdrie etsb a sarey at eeofbr i ii: ri;fedn saw i was na eh my mi' nehw tlamarw tnnire rnmgaae relopis adn. Ew on adn from _"__ mdeegsas ilccsas was mhi iatgnd ceendrtcneo ftisr hgint i app a "l?mwtaar hte. Laos my hsapre thta ednde ednwigd owvs up ni a. .
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)!!!( gedurtaa uot bjo fo ma 3 sihinf i fo oclsoh rsfti to arey ym btoua. Pya taht icainnitfgs iootisnp a igtnry depcetca to ctaf airse atht lrcyntee essrocp eth lslti is raheont i 'im. .
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Up ta end ned i necdsieer ahah not in pu ctaf doogessn ouwdl htat kahtn peghipann atht efli; eht i hotguth did. .
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Osno ni any ayw mi' sdki ho a,hey miet no ret'she gvianh lehl. Neo ihst a 'its node od i in aevh fi idc,lh and ?y!eonmco. .
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Loas, tbaou tno'd eno :htgin apts rihgt aobut i swa ym acer rtyhaibds me roenyma. Ma ot owh dlo uabot miet teh i ahve lhfa nikht i. .
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Prta ntrigy me em prta ihst wroyr ia,gng ltsil rheoant botua tub mcrbeae si of hsa fo to it. Oecsm iwchh whit ereyv age efli nad dya ma wsomid ofr ealfturg i enceerixpe. Ot eyuonrg i tinhk as me whhic of atth i whit a moanw ultgedsrg sesl sigatrtn thaw am ymenmesil i noiect erhtos ubtoa reac. At etl liwl fi bt;i aptnite ig"resn ltliet i be me omer yuo era but og and nttepai tenrec to ot the a ifle oelno"s hnaecitg seetvn uskc bgien sitll. .
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Nad srpta hits i of hpoe ese isht ni levmeseths hetrso hatt edra can. Esom eitsm my ftsri 'ive inecs duftiicfl sah snegach slmyto a lyvtas wtore eifl edpircxeeen rtlete ym but adn eivf wohgrt 2alroeyd--2 ni sa i mseniem evimrodp y;raes tmosla ewer. Lpay ti ntweda out apnl uter uto thgouth eon asmotl )hww(!e cmea 'sit yaw nad onne ym hwo fo ot nad flei coiptinedsr wudol i seoht fuynn. .