A letter from May 22nd, 2018

Dear Future Me, Hi there loser, I really hope that you became cool at some point because I'm cringing now and I'm in the moment. Can't even imagine what you're going through, the amount of cringing thats being caused by this letter and looking back at all those awkward *** moments. I can't imagine life being much different in the future but I still have a few questions. 1. Are you still an awkward mess? God, I hope not. 2. Are you living in Toronto? 3. Are you finished beauty school? 4. Did you go through with beauty school? 5. Are you still single? If so, I'm not surprised. I mean... Its you. 6. Are you still writing poetry? If so, have you published anything yet? 7. Have you started making Youtube videos yet? If so, hows it going? Are you loving it? 8. Is Emily still a ***** to you, or has she mellowed out? 9. Hows mum? Do you still see her all the time? 10. Do you still go by Sarah Jean or have you and dad settled things? 11. Have you been to LA yet? If not, are you planning on going to LA still? 12. Hows Miranda? I hope shes still your friend cause shes ******* amazing. 13. Is the world different? 14. Did you ever get back in touch with Samuel? 15. Are you still in the Whitby Brass Band? If so, are you an amazing player yet or do you still suck ***? 16. Hows Josh? Are you guys still best friends? 17. Did anything ever happen between you and Ensor? 18. Hows Mac? 19. Have you stopped overthinking so much? 20. Are you happy? I know that I was never your number one fan and that I always found other people who I felt were better than you but I really hope that I've learned to love you and appreciate you for who you are. I hope that you are happy and loving your life. I hope that you have found someone or something that has made your life complete. I also really hope that you finally got a cat with four ears or just a normal cat because I've wanted one for so long. Overall, this letter is just a way to check in, see if you're still alive, and to put your life into perspective. Maybe even make you cry from all of the cringiness that you were/are. In all honesty, I do hope that you got through all of the tough times because lifes rough right now and I just really hope that you get through it and become happy. I hope that when you smile, its real. That you don't have to deal with ****** people and always wear a fake smile. That you still write and put your feelings and thoughts into words. Please tell me you got through high school and didn't die or **** someone. High school sucks *** and you need to socialize. I hope that you aren't so antisocial anymore and that you have gone out of comfort zone and met some amazing people. That you're putting yourself out there and experiencing life to the fullest instead of hiding behind your awkwardness. Okay, this letter is getting really long and I don't know what to say so instead of being awkward and dragging it on, I'm going to end it. See, we are already making progress. In the end, all that matters is that your happy and I hope you have realized that by now, So stop trying to please others all the time, especially if it makes you unhappy. I am just going to leave you with my favorite quote. Maybe it'll help you with anything your going through. "She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make others smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul. She was beautiful." - F. Scott Fitzgerald. I hope you enjoyed this letter, that it lifted your spirits. Also, if you are reading this on your birthday, Happy Birthday you awkward mess! For some reason, it won't let me insert a photo of you from 2018 but I'm sure that just the simple thought of it will make you cringe. With lots of love, 16 year old you. Sarah Jean 2018