A letter from April 26th, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, HAPPY 30th birthday! I really hope that you are happy today. I hope that whatever it is you're doing, wherever you are today that you are happy. I can't believe we're 30! Wow! Aging is so weird isn't it? At this moment, I am 25; sitting at home sick, thinking about how terrified I am that my youth is coming to an end. The thing is, I have no idea what to do with our life. I don't know if I want to get into marketing, but that's where I'm at right now. I miss writing, but it seems that I do everything these days but write. I am running around like a fucking crazy person since moving to New York and some of that has come off itself onto me. I don't like the anxiety of this state, I don't like how rushed I feel all the time. I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to think all the things I want to think, read all the things I want to read, and do all the things I want to do- does that get better wherever you are? Are you happier now? Did we find what we loved? If we didn't- I hope that we are at least happy. 30 is a big number, try not to be afraid of it. We are 30, flirty and thriving! Hopefully.. This year I am going to SC twice, and also trying to figure out if grad school is worth the money. If marriage is worth the headache, if the white-picket fence thing is actually for me. I wish I could look through a window at wherever you are right now and adjust accordingly. Did you get married?! Where!? Did you have any regrets? Did you ever make it back to California? Where else in the world have you gone? So many questions! But I'm sure you have answered them all already. I love you so much, I love us, and I love this experience on earth. If weed is legal nation wide, find a joint with some napa red wine today, and laugh. Laugh, dance, cry, celebrate. Happy 30th

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Why Hello there 25 year old self. My goodness, what a journey we’ve already had and will continue on.

Yes, things will...

Slwo. .
Do tcnuonie uyllo’ - nmgarekti lewl adn ni yes,. .
.
Ekam gessu lraicaoifn it abkc you tw?ha to idd. Tish nidm thaw iemt ton dha eb ehonntrr ouy acexytl - in iirlaanofc tbu ’llti. Lresyofu nas aniorsccf to uoy emov. .
.
Yes ha,ha. I owkn. .
.
Cast y!ou ojni hte eys ni arteg helhta rea dan. .
.
- lt’li nsyun - hwiel be ranfciolai you tbu slou had oogd tli’l rmaed dahr oot mndi be an’wst ofr ti eth in ruyo. Hte aheptcr sit’ nibniegng loirfantoasnrtma oyur of maorj a ifel fo. Imnd - uyo egachn will etehnivgry that aebr wkne hte u,yo lorwd drnoau llemceptoy btu dna ni. .
.
Btu srvviue uloly’. Fo nad ecoemb erotrsgn bseacue it. .
.
News meor dogo. Rdmiear in ausotmle tlnianao kpar to gte cgireal - od oyu uryo. Uderpo dan la,idhe saw eilf but of it uryo hte d,oswen ti rnia phseitpa ady -. .
.
I giev ’cnta hohtgu away all it. P,teecsr btu dan ngisrdei llyou’ arn’te ofrm oerpsn os ttha iaerptapce iwll eb hcmu nda ro’euy oel,v resya prf,tece the sneopr ltear tiniwh - o’ully eth. Oot go yuro tc’na much try wrroy ojyne ace-uebs tdn’o ot nad akcb ttenwies uoy. .