A letter from April 26th, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, HAPPY 30th birthday! I really hope that you are happy today. I hope that whatever it is you're doing, wherever you are today that you are happy. I can't believe we're 30! Wow! Aging is so weird isn't it? At this moment, I am 25; sitting at home sick, thinking about how terrified I am that my youth is coming to an end. The thing is, I have no idea what to do with our life. I don't know if I want to get into marketing, but that's where I'm at right now. I miss writing, but it seems that I do everything these days but write. I am running around like a fucking crazy person since moving to New York and some of that has come off itself onto me. I don't like the anxiety of this state, I don't like how rushed I feel all the time. I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to think all the things I want to think, read all the things I want to read, and do all the things I want to do- does that get better wherever you are? Are you happier now? Did we find what we loved? If we didn't- I hope that we are at least happy. 30 is a big number, try not to be afraid of it. We are 30, flirty and thriving! Hopefully.. This year I am going to SC twice, and also trying to figure out if grad school is worth the money. If marriage is worth the headache, if the white-picket fence thing is actually for me. I wish I could look through a window at wherever you are right now and adjust accordingly. Did you get married?! Where!? Did you have any regrets? Did you ever make it back to California? Where else in the world have you gone? So many questions! But I'm sure you have answered them all already. I love you so much, I love us, and I love this experience on earth. If weed is legal nation wide, find a joint with some napa red wine today, and laugh. Laugh, dance, cry, celebrate. Happy 30th

Epilogue

about 22 hours later

Why Hello there 25 year old self. My goodness, what a journey we’ve already had and will continue on.

Yes, things will...

Sowl. .
Ni well nad do - ylo’ul itnnouce ekmntraig yes,. .
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Ti ot kacb aanliifcor tahw? ouy segsu akme ddi. In - adh xcayetl dinm hits trrohenn coiaiflran oyu imet hwta tli’l but be nto. Omve ot you nsa cfsicarno sloeuryf. .
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Hha,a yes. Know i. .
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Artge the eys alethh oy!u noij ni tacs era nad. .
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Yuo usol good oury ubt i’ltl too for dhar hda ni it eb ndim be - - tl’il teh liewh aemdr ’wtnsa farlacnoii uynns. A lfie het lstoimanrnatfroa tcrepha ’sti ngeiginbn jaorm fo uroy of. And droaun rlodw eotelypmlc hgacen uoy reab tub uo,y idnm ttha teh in wkne lliw - ihnveyrget. .
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O’lylu vuisvre but. Ueceasb nda ceemob rrotnsge fo ti. .
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Esnw dogo rome. Uyo suotemla uryo ot ilraecg aiolnatn ni do remdira kpra etg -. Day swa of it ianr utb fiel teh it uroy uperod ptipeash dna - n,deswo lhied,a. .
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Waay lla i it ’ntac vige thghou. Ttah sepron be eht ftpe,erc louy’l tn’aer wlli tub rltae het reyas - thiwin tpecre,s iinsderg os mcuh lve,o sponer adn nda orye’u lu’yol ofmr eeaipatprc. ’dnto uyor oot eecsbau- og owyrr ewitsnet mhuc nda njoey tyr ca’tn you ot kcba. .

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