A letter from March 3rd, 2018

Dear FutureMe, It's been 7 years since I wrote this. (I know... crazy). Currently, I'm 18. Life's great, I guess. I really hope that at this point your depression is getting better... I mean, can it get better? I've been depressed for so long that I don't really know if I can get better. I read a thing recently that basically said that when you've been depressed most of your life you don't totally know who you are without depression. And it made me question whether I truly know myself, my personality and ****. Ya know? I really hope that, now that you're turning 25, you'll know who you are a little more that I do at this point. Well, I'll end my ranting and actually start writing about stuff that you'll (hopefully) be a little interested in. Like my hope is that I can give you a little insight to remember who you were as an 18 year old, looking on to life to come. So at this point, I'm registered to Sierra College. I'm getting my AA in theatre arts, and I'm very excited! And at this point I have no idea where I'm going to transfer to after Sierra, and that's stressing me out a little but ya know nobody really knows what they want to do at 18... Right? Well, anyways, I'm hoping to transfer to a four year... not really sure which one... and get my BA in broadcast journalism with a focus in news and television. I really hope that you went through with that. My ultimate goal for the future is to become a main anchor. I really want to work with the Today show in New York but I highly doubt that's never going to happen. But ya know, it's a good idea to dream big. So, that's the work and school side of things. On more of a personal side, at this point in my life, I actually have a girlfriend! We're 6 days away from having been together for a month. I know that's crazy that I'm excited about, but I'm really happy. She makes me really ******* happy. As you know, none of my relationships in high school have been very successful but I can tell that this one's different. I have this feeling that I know we're going to be together for awhile. I don't know if we'll be together forever, I really don't think that could really be a thing, but I do hope that we're together for awhile. And, if we're not together anymore, that we're still friends. She's such an amazing person that I can't imagine not having her in my life. It's crazy. Her name is Alexandria (but she goes by Alex, if you call her Alexandria she will fight) Faith Tweed. She's a volleyball player and she's amazing. God, I don't want to say this but I seriously think I might be falling in love with her. I know it hasn't been long but I've seriously never felt this way about anyone before. I'm not sure, and I 100% know that I'm not in love with her yet, but we're on the way, ya know? My best friends currently are Ace Miller, Alex Tweed, Maddie Burnes, and Ashley Edwards. They're amazing and I love them so much. I also cosplay with Ace as John Watson, they do Sherlock and Alex does Rosie! I'm also looking into doing Eugene from Tangled, Deadpool, and Beast Boy. We'll see how many of those turn out. So on a more personal level, at this point in my life I know something's different. I've known something was different about me for a while but I never really could figure out what it was. But, at this current point, I go by Alexander Michael Carroll. My pronouns are He and Him. Also, I'm cutting my hair on June 2, 2018. The day after graduation. I don't have a binder but I'm hoping to get one soon. I really hope that this is still the truth for you, because at this point I'm living my truth as best I can. I hope you're doing okay and that your relationship with mum and dad has gotten better. Additionally, I really hope you're still as close with Nick as you are right now, they're seriously the best sibling I could've ever asked for. You're going to laugh, but at this current moment I'm definitely a little drunk off of pineapple sky vodka mum and dad bought mixed with black cherry ice. Also, I'm watching Jacksepticeye's Kindergarten series. I swear, I need to get a life but it's fineeeeee. I mainly watch YouTube a lot. Mainly Dan (Daniel Howell) and Phil (AmazingPhil), Jack (Jacksepticeye), Mark (Markiplier), Christine (simplynailogical), and Safiya (SafiyaNygard). Also, I'm downloading the Sims 4 right now, but it's really ******* with my computer, we'll see what happens. The bands that I listen to right now are Twenty One Pilots, Panic! at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, One Direction (yes I know... still), Niall Horan (I'M SEEING HIM THIS YEAR I'M SO EXCITED), and a lot of Broadway musicals. Currently my favorites are Falsettos (Holy **** it made me cry), Book of Mormon, Avenue Q, and Sister Act (I'm Sister Mary Lazarus in this years production of Oakmont)! At this current point, I'm working at Hot Topic in the Sunrise Mall and I love it! I'm hoping that in the next couple months I'm going to be trying out for Cheer Sacramento, they're amazing! I really hope I do it. I'm also still kind of in awe that I got home from London like 3 months ago. Anyways, I'll stop ranting at you. Have a great birthday and I hope everything's going okay for you. Much love and support from the past, Alexander Michael Carroll.