A letter from February 1st, 2018

Im scared. So scared that my life will end up leading to nothing. I am only 14 but I feel that I have missed so many opportunities, so future me have got an interesting life now? I feel like my life will continue day in and day out with nothing, I want an adventure! Road trip across America, backpacking across Eroupe I want it. I feel like I can't make my life interesting I am only a 14 years old I can't drive, I am not a legal adult, and I can't drink. This letter should get sent to me on my 21 birthday, and girl get drunk and party because you are a fun person don't hide it inside. I keep waiting for these milestones to happen, but I think when they happened I am just going to be waiting for the next one and the next one. I will be stuck in this circle for the rest of my life. Have kids because everyone else thinks they are cute, get a stupid job in an office and hate my job. Maybe I am just sacred of my future, I am scared to have to pick a vocation for the rest of my life. I want to be a filmmaker, but what if I suck, what if I can't do it? I think deep down inside I have always known I want to do something with cameras, i had my first camera at like 6 and for some reason I never tried again . I always get sad when I see people doing something i want to but can't, being in musicals, getting As in math when I am barley pulling a C. I am not sure if this later is suppose to make me happy when I read this because I got y dream job and went on an adventure or make me sad because I jut took a step back and let society tell me what my life should be. If you haven't done anything yet Just do it girl ;)