Note To Self

Dear FutureMe, You were bored. It was four ohh won ehhy ehm. You are going to start writing in the present tense. You are bored. You have nothing to do. Except be a 'live in slave' for your family. Who you seem to hate more and more each day. You need a job, but you are scared that no one will want you and everyone will know it. You cry. A lot. You don't sleep. You probably cry more than you sleep. Which is probably why you cry so much. Gosh go to bed ya numpty. But you also smile a lot. And you laugh. And smile. And even though you don't have many of the friends that you wish you still had, the ones you do have are amazing. You don't know what you would do without them But if they are gone now, don't be sad. Be happy that they were here when you needed them. Because they are. And if they arent there now, don't be mad at them. Be happy for them. Be happy for you. What is all this 'them' bull shit by the way? You basically only have Jake. But Jake is great. If you don't have Jake anymore. Be glad that you did. After everything, you let him in. He is the only one that has been able to do that. When he leaves. Try not to be too clingy. It will just make it harder. I dont even know what I'm talking about I just want to remind you that, however you are doing right now, you have had it worse, and you still managed to find something to smile about every day. "whats the point of buying a CD now, how will we listen to it, we're homeless" "HA! I beat you, I was 10!" Even if it was the fact that you woke up to the floor being covered in tisses and the 2 family blocks of chocolates consumed. Find that one thing and make it the thing you remember about that day. Let go of all the sad memories, Smile at strangers, help people with their groceries, tell the people you love that you love them. One day it will be too late. I dont think you would recover from that. I'm going to go to bed now. Goodmooooorrrrrnnniiinnnggg ./ Love you love you.