You're 17? Oh shit.

Dear FutureMe, It's 2:39AM and I am very tired. Poetry means a lot more at this hour. In fact, I just wrote a stanza. "She faces the world with eyes wide open/doesn't care what the world has to say/she has only vague ideas for the future/she lives in the glory of now and today." Mainly inspired by Julia Nunes but also about how I want to live in the present and not always plan for the future, which may not even be there. Totally explains why I'm sending this to the future. [/sarcasm] One huge gigantic holy-shit-I'm-going-to-die question: How was the school year? I'm not quite freaking out yet but the weight of the sudden summer assignment for english is pressing on me and reminding me that school is indeed coming up, and it's going to be a new school, and the people that I do know there are like vague don't-even-wave-when-you-recognize-them type of acquaintances, except for Brenna, who I still count as a could-be friend because of that one time at Six Flags. Where she predicted our ride would break down without meaning to and we went on a roller coaster ride for 4 with a couple that was arguing ON THE RIDE. While it was in motion. And we just sort of looked at each other with "well this is awkward" looks. What a day. I'll definitely be looking out for her. But as of now I still plan to try to make friends with the vast majority of the school. Lunch plans go something like this: "Hey, can I sit here?" at a table of kids that look like decent human beings. Not "Hey can i sit wit u gaizzzzzzzz" because that sounds kind of needy. But then when they say yes (if they say no, that'll be a wtf moment...but I think I'd just shrug, say "okay" and try a different one) I sit down and be like "Thanks. I'm the new kid, my name is Dominique Gould -wave- and [insert random slightly humorous fact about self - need to figure this out] What are all of your names, and some random fact about you that I can remember you by?" And then I imagine they'd go around the table introducing themselves. Hopefully at least some of the names stick to my memory. Maybe then I could try going around the table and saying the names, with the result of laughter (hopefully) when I inevitably fail. If I somehow don't fail, I could just be like "wow, that's a first." Then, I could comment on one of the random facts, or else just ask "So what were you guys discussing before I interrupted?" and things should go smoothly from there hopefully. I think I feel better now that I've written that down. Hold on while I go save this to a document in an edited form. ... ... ... Alright, done. This is so weird. I'm planning, to, like, steal the spotlight. And last year, I was absolutely invisible. Don't get me wrong, being invisible has its advantages. For one, you can get away with a lot because nobody notices you. And going unnoticed means not much stress in the drama department. But...I'll be the new kid. I'm going to get noticed. So I might as well take advantage of it, make the spotlight bright as I can, and make as many friends as I can as quickly as possible - cliques close quickly and I don't want to be absorbed into one. I want to be the one who goes beyond the boundaries. Did I succeed? Who are your friends? Was there any petty drama? Does anyone dislike you? How were the classes? Theater? Creative writing? Looking forward to those so much. Was the English teacher a dick? How were the teachers in general? Did any major events happen? Oh God, major events. Tell me major events. Please say some major events happened. Majooooooooooooor Eventssssssssssssssss. Yeah, it's like 3AM now. Oh dear God horrifying thought, do you have a boyfriend? More horrifying, did you have a boyfriend? Quasi-love interest? Anything semi-romantic at all? Whatever happened/happens, I hope it makes you wiser and stronger. What clubs did you get into? Did you take up sewing or more intense running or martial arts of some sort? Oh fuck, you probably have your driver's license by now. DRIVER'S. LICENSE. Tell me all about it! How is driving? What are driver's ed classes like? How well do you drive? What do you drive? Where do you drive? How hideous do you look in the license image? What's the current state of your hair? Cut? Still long? What jewelry do you have on? Do you still wear retainers? What books have you read recently? Are they any good? How was New Moon? Let me guess: shit. Well, I wasn't expecting anything more anyway. How's Lisa, and what's she up to these days? How's the relationship with Ben? How goes BTMR and the writing WW project? Still planning to "go away"? I hope so. The world is so beautiful. Got any more missions? Have any major epiphanies? What's your current philosophy on life, and on God? It just occurred to me that you probably don't even remember much of the summer assignment I'm going to do sometime soon. Gives me hope that I can get through and done with this. How are our parents? Health-wise? Relationships-wise? What's the plan? For, you know, life. "Going away" is vague so far. Are you living in the present? Get caught in the past again? Shoved into the future? What's the most recent dream you've had that you can recall? What are you doing to help the world? Okay, I'm running out of questions finally. So, I know you're getting older and wiser, but you might also be getting older and more sewn-shut. So here are some tips from your past self...yes, I can give -you- tips. You can forget vital stuff when you get older. First off: Don't close your mind off to anything. You're still young and you have a lot to learn, and the surest way of not learning it would be to close your mind and shy away from new experiences. Be accepting and try to understand things, everything you encounter, somehow. Don't judge, that's God's job - just love. Especially those who do you wrong, because they need it the most. Next, don't stop imagining things. I know I'm still a bit raw about the whole WW thing, but the imagination is a wonderful gift and a wonderful escape (lol I just almost typed wolfderful...that it is). Imagination is where the inside of you dwells, and that's the most important part. Don't be material just because you're in a material world. Remember what's important: people, life, experiences. School is so very unimportant compared to those. Money is even less important. Wherever you end up in the future, you will be alright, so don't worry so much. Even if you are homeless, if you drop out, if you are rejected completely by the world - you will still be alright. You will still have the people who matter, and you will always have God. Remember to be honest. Remember to be good. Right now, we just moved into our house about a week ago. It's starting to feel like home. I can't get Psycho Killer out of my head and I'm celeb-crushing on David Byrne from freaking 20 years ago, which is not good. I'm on the edge of everything and I'm excited and if I stop to think about it enough, terrified. Right now I'm too tired to think about it, so I'm kind of "meh" towards the whole thing anyway. I really should go to bed. I'm going to be so tired in the morning. The muscles in my back are sore, I think from too much simming. But the pain won't go away. I fear I'm becoming an old lady at the age of 16. We'd best hope we never end up surviving until old age. I'm 150 pages into Memoirs of a Geisha and it's pretty good so far, but so foreign to me. I've never really been exposed to Japanese culture. Ever. Back hurts, hurts, hurrrrtssss... The leather wolf journal that Lisa gave us still smells absolutely fucking fantastic. That's it, I need to sleep. Goodnight 17-year-old self. Ugh, wow, 17. Happy birthday anyway, hope it was fun. ^^ What'd you get? And one last thing - what tips can you give me? We need to collaborate with our young knowledge and experienced knowledge so we can go forth in life as ready as possible. I'm excited. Life is going to be amazing. Anxiously, Your 16-year-old self