the sun keeps coming up, things get better

after a year, here are some important memories & things u needa remember: - the morning after tims when we lay in bed for ages and u clung to his arm and his other one was around ur face and u felt so safe and calm and we both fell asleep again - part 5 and the secret garden - he talked to ruby sometimes about u - wobbly nose faces and the wobbly nose face tag - when u watched him play bball and he was so excited about it and got changed completely just for it - when u saw eachother for the first time in ages and watched fight club and at first u just sat side by side but u tried to reach out to him until he finally touched u and stroked ur arm and ur face and mouth and ur neck and how special it always made u feel when he touched u - the picture w the dobro and bball singlet - overanalysers anonymous - that he thought of u as a top 3 best friend and u could talk to him about anything and he was always worried about u if u were down and he said he would never dislike u - finna gak buzz nuk jam - he was protective of u and didnt like it when u hung out a lot w certain people and was v upset about the whipped cream incident but u liked that he cared so much - neopolitan dreams - gymming and eating porridge + coffee + up & go + toast just for breakfast - his amazing strong hands that made u feel safe and loved and cared for - he called u a flower - his smile - the shirt he made and was so so proud of - the watch - when he reassured u that sex wasnt everything and wasnt that good or important that it was just about intimacy and u could get that in other ways - when u told him u liked him to his face for the first and only time and he just joked and said yeah i like me too - when both of u didnt have ball partners but didnt ask eachother but ended up hanging out at the ball anyway - he always saved so many funny pictures and then sometimes just sent u heaps - the last thing he said to u was a pickup line - 'are u tired because u've been running thru my head all day' - pixel dick - easter weekend when we stayed at mads and told him about pixel dick and sean slept on a fork and ellie slept w her feet on in his back - easter weekend when we went to nicks and went to bed super early and i cried and then in the morning we woke up and just looked at eachother for ages - after tims when he got high and he lay on his bed and i sat on the chair and swung from side to side and we just watched eachother - how excited he was about howies & howies 2.0 - at ryan/ellies 18th when he couldnt go but u were both texting and u wished he was there - how we both said we didnt want a relationship but in part 5 he kinda said he wanted to change that - at the ball when he tried to get me to go to the afterball and he made sure we got a photo even though he never saw it - when u asked him at the ball if him & storm were a thing and he said no and that he wanted to go w u but he thought u had a date - when u dreamed u were getting bombed in a war and u texted him and he replied 'no u cant die u havent joined hip happening teen website ask.fm yet' - he was friends w josh but he knew what happened at nicks and if u didnt wanna talk about that or him he was completely fine w that - u thought maybe u loved him but u didnt know and it was scary and u didnt wanna tell him - he made u feel special and important and like u mattered - hold on, we're going home - he always seemed so invincible and strong and like he could do anything and would live forever - slice of heaven - ur mock ira voice that was really just a mock everyone voice - just love it and love life - he said it was a buzz when u said buzz - the way he rubbed his hands together and did that lil smile and rolled his eyes up when he was excited - when he skyped u just so u could see his reactions when he played nba - he never said it was weird that u and hannah started writing even though he prob thought it was? - he checked the wobbly nose face tag regularly and when u posted u were sad or wanted to talk to him or s/thing he always messaged u - he texted u late at night to ask if the wobbly nose face tag was him bc it had obv been on his mind and he said he liked it a lot - he is one of the most important people in ur life and always will be and he means so so much to u and right now it seems impossible that he is gone and as though life cant continue but by now after a year it will be better it has to be and he will always and forever be in ur heart