yours truly and sincerely, (i hope you're happy)

you're wiser, perhaps, but not really. i've known you since my first breath of life, and you've never been that wise, but i've always liked to pretend to be, so i know you're still pretending over on that side of the time spectrum. but maybe the idea itself makes me wise, so ha. you kind of hate yourself but don't. i don't know about then, in your time that is, but i kind of hate myself right now for some will-not-be-specified reasons (i mean, you're bound to know them, right? you're me, aren't you?) (i hope you forgot, and i hope you won't remember). but in the scheme of things, no, you actually like yourself, if not love, and you're comfortable in your own skin. it's just you're weak where you can't afford to be weak, and i'm sorry i did that for you. i'm really sorry for what i'm doing right now, and i hope you've picked up the pieces after me. but i'm not broken, really, i'm just too aware of my very, very apparent but hidden flaws. i don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that no one has caught on. well, whatever, because fuck you and just get your shit together. i've never liked that black small smidgen of self-pity, and you shouldn't either. i'm not sure if you'll catch the upcoming puns, but know that they're funny, ok? because i'm funny, and you better not let someone tell you otherwise, you fucktard. so, i reallyreally hope your loved mangas are finished because i'm dying to know what happened right now and i kind of envy you because you know so much (about so many things) (..mashallah). ON A WHOLE 'NOTHER TOPIC, pleaseplease do something about your poems. i love them, really, but, god, i feel like i should just quit because they just take up time and space, you know? and i don't really have a lot of both, or rather time, time is money and all. look, either stop or enter some contest or shit. don't keep them lying around. i hope you wrote something fan-fucking-tastic because if you still think the ones from 2011 are the shit then you should stop writing while you're ahead, 'kay? okay, i lie. write like there's no tomorrow because it can be considered an outlet? fuck if i know.i just like writing shit that sounds pretty and heartfelt and feeling good about myself because i really do feel good (great) about myself after writing a poem that i actually like, as if i won a prize or something. i hope you've grown out of your shell and grown yourself a backbone because you need to really stop acting awkward around people, or rather, your aunts. i know you're yourself around them, but you keep clamping up whenever you want to know something they know, and i'm here to tell you to fucking speak up. and i know you feel inadequate when you compare yourself with others but that's stupid, too. you're you and you've never been anyone else in your entire life and you'll never be so, yeah, you're stuck there and should just be glad that you're you. btw, know how to put some make up, will ya? you're embarrassing, my god. but don't go prancing around in college with makeup, nobody's got time for that, let me tell you. just know your cosmetics. oh, and STOP PLAYING WITH YOU HAIR. you're making me go bald. college friends, know them well. reem's birthday is tomorrow (just so you know), so wait till it's 12:00 AM and wish her a happy birthday (NOT 12:01, and i was so close). BRING HER BOOKS. LOTS AND LOTS OF BOOKS. and will you go meet her mother? i love her to bits and i haven't even met her (and she also gave me those heartwraps for my lower back). hope you're still friends with lana and sadeem and rafeef and the rest of the group and both mashael and amjaad (let's admit right here and now that you're impressed with their grasp of the english language and you can't help being competitive with them in your head at almost everything... remember that thing i said about comparing yourself with others? yeah, stop). about your friends, just don't let them go. they're gold and you know it and you better fix whatever's not right if there's some kind of misunderstanding or some shit. i'm gonna list them all here because i know you're fucking lazy; maha, arwa, noura, reema, hala, sarah, and erum. there's more but you've cut them loose a long time ago, and i hate to break it to you, but there's probably no coming back for those (you could try, though). but the ones up there are the important ones, and the first four are the golden ones, and the first two are essential. and i love them all, and i fucking hope you do too. otherwise, get off your ass and go call them. your cousins have been with you all your life, and if you screw that up, i'll fuck you reall bad, waad. btw, i know you're kind of in denial about it, but strengthen your relationship with maha. please. regarding cousins, i hope rahaf's happy with her marriage, and i hope raghad's happy, just as well. (remember the neck, but i know you've forgotten). YOUR FAMILY IS YOU AND YOUR OXYGEN. THAT'S ALL. i hope you like being single because i do NOT want to be shackled with marriage (unless it's with a cute guy, then ok). yours truly, sincerely, love, waad.