A letter from the past .... spooky huh? Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY 30 year old!!!!!!!!

Dear Future Me, Well, I'm going to guess that the first thing you will have thought is .... wow I really don't remember doing this. At least I hope that will be the case. I'm expecting you to have so much fun, do so many drugs and drink so much drink that you won't remember most of this youth. And yeah, now its all coming back. It was quite **** wasn't it. Remember how you used to feel? I hope more than anything that that's not how you feel any more. I'm going to hope that when you left home at 18 things finally started to pick up and you really put your life on track. I hope. If, however, you have failed us and everything is still really **** then I'm telling you that that's not what you wanted for yourself!You had big ambitions and you knew at least that you wanted to be happy and loved, so go out there and get those things. You're not too old yet, admittedly you are behind schedule but there is still the chance. Anyway I suppose you are probably still racking your brains as to what you were doing, thinking and planning on 27th March 2011..... well it isn't anything special. Standard teen angst etc. You have a slight thing for a guy at college but he hasn't noticed you yet and who knows he may never do but we can hope, right? His name is Michael, french buddy. Your friends are all a bit crazy and you're still not sure if you'll really ever fit in with anyone, you're trying out the whole drugs thing and so far so good, you've found something that solves your problems for a bit, you're determined not to get hooked though. At the moment you are also trying to juggle your school work in that equation, you are failing. For example right now instead of doing one of 15 pieces of work you have you are procrastinating by writing a letter to thirty year old you. But hopefully you will pull through at the last moment like you always do. To be honest you are not in a place you think you should be in, as I said earlier you cannot wait to get out and finally discover what you've been missing for the past 16 years. You're crackpot theories are getting quite strange, ho knows you may be in a mental hospital! (You always kind of wanted that didn't you). You want the depression to pass, you've already been waiting anxiously for 5 years, has it changed yet? I have so much I want to ask you and I know you will have so many things that you will be screaming at past me, mistakes you wish I hadn't made, little things and small decisions that you should or shouldn't have made, advice you wish I'd had. But just remember that at the time there was a reason for why we did these things. I hope we are better, and best wishes for the next thirty years!