Happy Birthday.

Dear FutureMe, First of all, Happy Birthday. We're 21. I'm glad. uhm.. Right now I am going through a lot of junk. I'm dating Brittany Ables... I think we'll be together for a very long time... So were we? Are we still together? FIVE YEARS DOWN THE LINE? Today is august 14th by the way. 2007. I hope I still have this email address in the future. I'm going into my junior year... I have a feeling it's going to be rough.... I am going to quinco... it really sucks I'm being counselled.. I'm on Welbutrin(or however you spell that dedgum antidepressant..) I've been cut off from every single leadership position in the church until october 18th. I reckon I'll start going to a different church then. I don't know. Only me, then, as you, know what I'll do, what you did. My hopes and dreams an ambitions? Well... I hope to be with Brittany for a very very long time. I hope to marry her. It isn't legal to be married at the moment. Is it legal now? I hope to have children... not by age 21.. but .. you know. Right now, I like the names Brasen Shane, and Gwendolyn Faye. I want a house with a porch that goes almost all the way around... one story... with an attic... so that you can crawl out on to the garage and onto the roof.. I'm making straight A's. I'm about to start Pre-Calculus HONORS. I want to go to college. I guess I might be starting my last year of college now... I don't know what I want to be... a counsellor... maybe a teacher... Brittany should be in the military by then if she went through with it. She should be supporting me basically.... My grandmother might not be alive by then... She just got stints put in her legs... she has COPD. She's SUPPOSED to stop drinking and smoking... I don't know if she has... My best friends are Brittany of course, Brandie in washington, Frances, and Conner I guess... I haven't talked to Dina in a while... I don't think we'll be friends again. I haven't talked to Sonny much either. I don't think WE'LL be friends again. My wrist is hurting... lol I'm only putting this in here in case later on I find out that there's something seriously wrong with it. So far... I don't know of anything. I'm trying to buy Brittany a ring. A very expensive ring. It's not the best though... but ... I want to give her SOMETHING ... Today's conner's 16th birthday. Hid 21st would have passed by now.. but you should try to call him and talk to him anyways. I wish I knew what else to say... I don't. Is college hard? Was I even able to make it INTO college? Did I get enough scholarships? I hope so. That would make mom proud. Sam said he'd help me. My daddy is supposed to be giving me money to get a car. Weird. I don't even want to learn to drive. It scares me. Im outgoing... friends with everyone... I hope its still like that when I'm older. =] Wow... five YEARS down the line... what should I say to myself? It'd be so much easier, if I, as a future me, could send something to Me. A past me. Give me advice. But no. It's the opposite. I can't give myself advice when I've grown older and wiser! That's retarded. It defeats the purpose. Well... I suppose I'm going to go now. I hope my life is easier now. (in the future.) P.S. If you're dating someone... take a good look at them. Take the time out to look into their soul today. Remember your anniversary. Plan something big. Look into their eyes.... and let them know that you love them and that you'll always be there for them. Remember all of the people you've lost. Remember all of the things you've overcome these past five years. These past 21 years! So far... 16 years into life... you've overcome tragedy after tragedy after tragedy... neglect... divorce... watching your mother being beaten... growing up way too soon...being violated in ways that have literally driven some women insane... discrimination due to sexual orientation... depression... anxiety.. suicidal tendencies.. so far. This is what you've made it through. Add the things that have happened these passed five years. You've been victorious. Never let anything bring you down. You are your own person. Always remember who you are. Never compromise that. Because in the end... it's all you have. Love deeper. Speak sweeter. As that one song says. Never stop respecting. Love on your mother. She's not doing too good. And the last thing I ask of you... Always remember me. A 16 year old you. A 5 year old you, holding your neice in a corner as your mother is beaten... A 9 year old you, who saw her grandmother as a savior... An 11 year old you, feeling complete emptiness due to sexual abuse... not being able to feel anything... a 12 year old you wishing there was some way you could just stop living because you were hated for liking girls... a 13 year old you finding God... and pure happiness... a 14 year old you working through her emotions... still trying to rid herself of every little ounce of memory... A 15 year old you... falling in love... And not caring who knew about it... not caring who saw... or who cared.. or discriminated... except for the church of course... while continueing trying to work through everything... and discover who she is... And a not-quite-yet-16 year old. Begging you not to forget. So please. Don't forget me. ~You(16 in less than a month.)