A letter from June 8th, 2025

Dear FutureMe, it's like I'm an intruderno matter where I go where I stay I will always be itnruduingI feel like I'm intruding into this family I feel like I'm intruding into my own familyI don't know these peopleno matter how hard I try it seems like I can never understand them and they can't understand meI do not know my parentsthey gave birth to me, brought me into the worldbut they are not my parents I feel disconnected from my entire family I feel I cannot fit in anywhere I gothere's always a problemI feel so alone like there's no one here with memy own blood feels alienI look at my siblings in aweI do not know themthey do not know memy perception of family is shattered and confused I yearn for the day I will find a place I belong I yearn for a place where I will feel like I'm not intrudingI yearn for a time when I feel like I have found my familyI feel like I'm losing a part of myselfa part of myself I never knewit's like looking into the mirror and not recognising the reflection How I wish I could feel secure with the environment around mewho am I to call family?brother? sister? mother? father?family is what you make itbut there's nothing I can do to make this feel like my placeI feel like I'll always get rejected somehowI do not know my parentsI do not know my familyI do not know myself.