A letter from Aug 30th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hi...... Niela Fe! I just saw this website on tiktok and i wanna try it cuz y not hehehe baen makita ko siya in the future naks hahaha. At 17, you got to realized a lot. You changed, you really are. By 3months from now you will turn 18 na. Remember 5 years ago, you didn't ask for too much. The truth you didn't know God at all. But to reminiscing it now, He blessed you and gave you for the things you didn't asked. Your plans a years ago didn't happened Cuz, at 15 you promised you will not yet have a bf until u turn 18 But, joke on you. You met your long-time crush and it started to mess your plan haha You started to feel butterflies in you whenever u two magkasalubong ha hallway And it started when you first started the conversation by asking him in a scripted way cuz u want to be noticed. And then u feel nervous when he immediately replied and so on... the conversation got longer. He want you two to be friends You was trying to be cool and calm when u said OKAY, LET'S BE and he started to asked you to meet up and it also the starts for u to anxious and overthink You keep saying YES' and he keep finding u but you was always hiding and with ur friends so that u had a reason to say Ended up, that meet up didn't happend because i was to shy, afraid, nervous, overthink but still u confessed and i was so happy that time That was the time i first felt that kind of feeling and i was happy cuz once in my life I felt happiness just for a short of time Yes, cuz u became cold and u changed We were just so young at 12 to be in a relationship back then but we didn't care I thought it was easy to in a relationship at a young age But why is that i felt dissappointed and sad and broke when u didn't greet me for our first monthsarry u didn't even bother to text me or what and i surely know u forgot or never did to remember it i felt sadness, and i cried and cried when i started to saw ur conversations with u said crushes and there are missing part of the conversation u thought i will never know u deleted it why and for what? I asked why u didn't answer or replied my messages even thou you're online u just replied 'HE MAMA NA GAMIT" i believed. I did But it was never easy, even more when u didn't tell me about your crushes conversation That day, i was very sad and angry a reason of me having intense fight with my mom i was trying to reach u out cuz i want u to be there for me but you was in the middle of intense conversation with a girl not bothered with my messeges, u ignored me. I cried again, a lot of tears. I think of it, and i did it. I broke up with u, and u just said " Sge, kay mga bata pa man kita" AND i thought it was the end of us but not yet ahaha U confessed again on our 8th grade and courted me but i said "I'M NOT YET READY" but u are okay about it and said "I CAN WAIT" and we again started talking and our WALANG LABEL relationship happend I thought u said YOU WILL WAIT But you forgot it So, i was very confused what was happening cuz u forgot your promises U started to change and i try to find and know someone new and you know it. u thought i was cheating but yes i did. but i was never the one cuz u had a lot of someone better that me u also courted a new girl in the campus and u two did things i can't do to u will never do for u that was the last of us cuz the girl is the one for u i guess and so happpy for u. will be happy this is the last time i will think and talk about us cuz i want myself to remove bad memories back then you're not a bad memory but still we had a toxic relationship back then. back to my letter for myself. That was the story of my 1st relationship and i'm praying in the future aheads God will make a way to meet me to a man who will love, genuinely care about my feelings and respects me. and i wish in that day i am ready to commit and be ready on my serious relationship but for now, i'm focus on school my first priority since i'm going to be in college next school year Future self, i hope u are in a good place right now living in a quiet corner, a boarding house cuz u dream is to study far away but a safe place of course depends of God plan I claiming you're happy and blessed. with a safe and healthy lifestyle also with mama and papa long life and safety and good health also with whole fam and in that day, the whole country are COVID-FREE anymore 17th NIELA LOVES U AND SO PROUD OF UUUU