A letter from June 11th, 2020

Don’t let your girlfriend read this if she isn’t me, maya. Dear Hunter, today is June 10th 2020. We’ve been dating for almost 6 months. I wonder if we’re still together. If we are, I’m glad that everything worked out for us, and I hope you’re happy. If we’re not, I’m sorry, and I hope you’re happy. In case you don’t remember what it was like 6 months in, I’ll tell you. So far, it’s been amazing. We always have a lot of fun together! The other day we went to Martin Park, and it was hot. We got a bit lost but we found our way back pretty easily. Neither of us got any ticks, so that was good! This was our second time there because the first time you told me you wanted to go back when things started growing, so we did. You shook a skinny tree because you thought it would be funny, and it was. That day you told me that you were going to stop spending money so you could save up for when we moved in together. Hopefully that happened. Maybe where we live isn’t as nice as we pictured it, but as long as we have each other, that’s what’s important. And if by the time this gets to you, we don’t have each other anymore, that’s okay. Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me? I told you to say it because I didn’t want you to have *** with me if you didn’t love me. I said, even if you don’t mean it can you tell me you love me? You said: Yes, and I mean it. I love you Maya. Then you cried, then I cried. We held each other for a long time. We ended up not having *** that night because I was scared. You always respected me and my decisions. You were the sweetest boy I had ever bet. The best boyfriend I have ever had. You taught me what love is. Of course, a definite definition is still hard to say, but I know that what we experienced together is/was love. Maybe, by the time you read this, we’re not on speaking terms or we haven’t spoken in years. That’s okay. Don’t feel the need to reach out just because of this letter. When I wrote this I was 17 and we were in love with each other. If that doesn’t apply anymore, that’s alright. If we’re not together anymore, whether I still mean everything that has been said in this letter doesn’t matter. What I will still mean in five years is this: Hunter, I hope that, wherever you are, you are successful and happy. Truly happy. Not just a fleeting feeling of happiness, but true happiness of where you are in life. If you’re not, that’s okay. That happiness will come. It takes a long time for people to achieve that kind of happiness, and even when they do, sometimes it goes away. That’s the beauty of life. There can be no happiness without sadness. There can be no good times without bad times. There can be no Light without Darkness. I once said that to you, and later, when I was suffering from depersonalization, you told me the same thing. You said: “You remember what you told me? That there can’t be good times without bad times? You’re going through a bad time right now, but that just means good times are coming. Do you believe me?”. After you said something sweet to me you would always ask me if I believed you. Even if I didn’t, a part of me always knew you would never lie to me. You will always hold a very special place in my heart, and I will never forget you. Love, Maya