A letter from May 18th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Today is Monday May 18, 2020 and it’s currently 1:19 AM. I wonder if you’re even gonna remember what’s happening during this time. Obviously we’re in a global pandemic, you just lost one of your best friends, and to top it all off you’re lost. At least that’s how I’m feeling right now. College is starting in a few months and I have no idea what our major is gonna be. I wonder where we will be in 5 years. 23 years old huh? So much can happen in 5 years and that’s the scary part. I don’t know what will happen, where I’m going. In reality, 5 years will probably pass by fast and I’ll probably be smiling at this letter. (Fingers crossed) I guess I’ll give myself some advice. I hope I don’t lose myself in 5 years. Crazy huh? The fact that you can change within half a year. I hope I’m still the same Eddie. Crazy, funny, kind, talented. I hope that I still have the joy and passion for music and theatre. Or maybe my life took a full 360 and I’m doing something else. Maybe the universe has a plan for me? I’ll probably be answering these questions as I read this in 5 years. Another little memory, tomorrow is choir banquet. Some online zoom trophies! What a crazy year. I’m sure throughout the next could years, I’ll have some wack crazy **** happen.. but 2019-2020 was definitely interesting. I mean... I’m sure we both remember what happened first semester of high school. Nobody expected for that to happen... but it made me into a stronger person. And now, we’re ending it with this pandemic. I wonder where I’m at right now. Do I ever find love? Do I ever move out of California? I guess I’ll have to wait. Typing this out right now feels weird. I guess I’m overthinking because In reality, I don’t know where I’m gonna be in 5 years. I was debating on doing 1 year but to be honest.. maybe I need 5. I’ve worked hard in high school. And I know college is gonna be a beast. I hope that in 5 years my mental health is good. I hope that I found something that I love to do. Right now may seem difficult and confusing but I hope that I’m striving as I read this. The future is mine to take control of. I am worthy. I am special. I can make a change on this planet. So Eddie Mendoza, if you’re reading this and you’re not in the best place, remember... you’re not one to give up. You can push and you can do what you put your mind to. Your parents raised you right. I love myself. I love you. Forever and always Love, The past Eddie Mendoza living in 2020.