A letter from May 16th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Where do I even start with this? Currently, as of now.. we're on a lockdown.. things aren't easy right now but I know that i'll get through it and I hope that by the time you get this (which I'm 100% sure it will be) all over this will be over soon and you'll be back to living a normal life. Now that that's done with, let's get emotional.. I hope you're doing well, I hope you're much more happier than I am right now. I hope that you overcome this stage of sadness and I hope that you are truly happy with yourself. I hope that you're still with the love of your life, I hope that you never ever lose him, I hope you both overcome difficult obstacles and have better communication within each other. Please, please, please, please.. tell him everything, every single thing, no matter how small or stupid it may be.. he really does care, he is not like any other person you've been with. He truly cares about you, he will make you feel like you're the only girl, he'll make you feel like a true princess. He will do anything to make you feel like the happiest girl in the world, he's the one.. keep him. I hope that the both of you are living together, with a bunch of dogs and just being happy that you're both finally together. I wish nothing but the happiest relationship for you two. I hope that you both help each other out and really trust one another. Anyway, enough with the lovey dovey stuff, how's college? Did you get into your dream college? Oh, how about the DCP? Did you get in? I know that's probably still your dream to go there and experience the true magic. Do you have a job? Do you like it? Hate it? Do you still keep in contact with your old friends? Have you made any new friends? Ah, I'm asking so many questions.. I bet you're still like that.. always so nosey and curious. Honestly, I hope that you're doing so much better. I hope that you're not letting anybody take advantage of you, or let them manipulate you. I have gone through so much and realized that I am worth so much more, I really hope you don't let people step all over you. You are such a strong woman, look at all the stuff you've been through and still continue to be strong. I hope you don't beat yourself up just for the littlest things, that's a problem I have. No matter how hardworking I am, I still don't feel proud of myself. I hope you changed that, You are so hardworking.. please don't beat yourself up just because you don't think you are. Another thing, YOU are NOT worthless, you are far from that. YOU are NOT a disappointment, YOU are NOT a burden, YOU are NONE OF THOSE THINGS. Please realize that so so so so SO many people care about you and are willing to help you, please don't push them away like how I still do. Please reach out for help if you need it, don't bottle things up, for the love of god. You are worth so much more than what I think, please realize you're worth. I hope that you achieve great things in your life, I hope that you explore the world with the love of your life, I hope you enjoy your life to the fullest. Everyday, I pray that I get better, it honestly feels like I'm going through an endless hole of just nothing. I hope that you know longer feel that. Now, how's mom? Do you guys talk from time to time? Also, how's George and Mario? Do you guys talk? Do they still treat you like a baby? Speaking of babies, do you currently have one? Are you planning on having one? If you do have one, I hope it's a girl.. although, I wouldn't mind a boy either. But, I also hope you get twins.. although, I said that I would NEVER get twins but the thought of it seems nice. I hope you have a beautiful baby boy and a beautiful baby girl.. hopefully named Luke and Leia.. I swear if that's not their names, please hit future Yahir for me. Which reminds me, Did any new Star Wars movies come out? How about any new series? Did Anakin and Padmé come back? Are you still a Star Wars fan? I truly hope you are cause if you're not.. You should be disappointed in yourself. Hey, are you married yet? Has Yahir proposed to you? If so, I hope the ring is beautiful.. and I hope that the wedding was beautiful too. I always wanted a wedding on the beach.. was yours at the beach? Or was it just at a old, stinky church? Where did you go for your honeymoon? I hope it was somewhere beautiful and I hope it was romantic and that you enjoyed it. I really hope that you are Yahir are together still, that boy makes me so happy and I hope that he makes you happy as well. I've never been so happy in a relationship before, all of the relationships i've ever been in turned out to be toxic, emotionally abusive and manipulative but this is the first relationship that i've felt so much happiness and love. I hope that he still makes you feel butterflies in your stomach just like how it was the first day you both started talking to each other, I hope that you still blush when he says the most lovey dovey stuff, I hope that you are forever happy with him. I know you will, you both can never get enough from each other. I hope you both make each other very happy, you both deserve it. I hope that you both take care of each other, I hope that you take time to understand him and listen to his little rants like I do. I hope you both have patience with each other and I hope, oh how I hope, that you both will stop being so stubborn. I'm writing so much, you probably won't even remember I wrote this. I think i'll end it here. Remember, know your worth, never let anyone tell you otherwise. You can do this, you are strong. You deserve the happiness you've always wanted. Have patience with yourself, try to understand yourself, have self love.. you need that. I love you, future me. Don't forget about this letter, although I know you will. Much love, Past Gigi