A letter from January 27th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, How's it going?I'm writing this from the Past (Insert Spooky Music). I wrote this on January 27th 2020 in London, UK. This the start of a new decade and with that new decade comes opportunities and challenges. A few months ago I cancelled my wedding, well to be precise...my fiancee told me that she wasn't sure about us as a couple. We'd been together for more than 10 years, you know that couple who have always been together? Yes...we were that couple. I thought getting engaged would somehow provide a 'conclusion' to our relationship. In a way, I now have that conclusion but not the one I'd signed up (or thought I had). I'll miss her. I miss the future we could have had. I'll miss the future children and experiences. Yet I can't allow myself to wallow. It feels like I've spent most of my life hedging against loss. Playing it safe, avoiding risk and avoiding tough choices. The reality is our relationship was far from the ideal I tend to mourn. We could have gone our separate ways long ago. We spent an increasing amount of time arguing and fighting. For anyone reading this, do not lose hope. Life has a funny way of giving us what we 'need' - even if the medicine tastes god-awful. Keep your head up, all of you. Better days lie ahead. For those not faith focused, find something beyond yourself. The only thing which has kept me steadfast has been my belief that God is guiding this process. God always points in the direction of truth, find yours or better yet let God guide you to it. For those facing dark time, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I start this decade full of hope and my faith renewed. I wish those who read this letter the very best.