A letter from August 26th, 2019

Dear FutureMe, August 26, 2019 when you thought you're useless and has no purpose in this world. It is when you despised yourself for being such a coward in expressing what you really feel, ashamed of what others might think when they see who you really are, not being courageous enough to do things out of your comfort zones and regretting the choices you've made that took your life further from being successful. You thought you'll be able to sort and straighten out this mess that is YOUR LIFE. Then you realized you've wasted a good seven months "soul-searching", but ended up doing nothing helpful to your soul and your self-esteem. You hated yourself even more. You are starting to slip from everything that you've believed in, withdrawing to a darker place and inflicting pain to those that surrounds you, refusing help thinking, "You don't need their pity." Shackles started to form keeping you from attaining full freedom. And then it starts to tighten. When you even think of letting people in, it tightens. When you decide to take a step towards the light, it yanks you back and then it tightens. You've become accustomed to a bounded life that you've become indifferent to the people you love, and even to God. And so you stayed. You've built a big, fat wall that pushes everyone who tries to get inside. You're afraid that if you decide to turn your life around, you'll be disappointed and end up right where you have started. And so you resigned to your weaknesses. And then you stopped fighting... ...but it does not end there. You know fully well how to get freedom, complete freedom. You very well know that despite of your struggle to break free from the chains, regardless of what you think of yourself, in spite of the darkness that keeps enveloping you, even with your insecurities and your failures, God is there. GOD IS WILLING TO FIGHT WITH YOU, AND EVEN OWN THE FIGHT FOR YOU. You need not to condemn yourself for the things you lack of, for being lesser than anybody else, for not living up to other's standards, and for being odd and imperfect. I hope that when read of this letter, you'll remember the journey you have made; the bad decisions you have chosen, the insecurities and weaknesses that became a part of your life, the failures that made you cry in your sleep, the opportunities you have intentionally and regretfully passed up, and the criticisms you've heard not only from others but from yourself. All those things you thought are ruining your life became your ladder to where you are right now --- an overcomer. Be braver, not for yourself, but this time, for the LORD. INCLUDE GOD IN YOUR ENDEAVOR, ALWAYS. Make your days count. I hope that you have found the purpose God has planted in your life and fulfill it with joy in your heart. YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD. Nothing, and I mean no one, should tell you otherwise. God is proud of you, and I hope you are, too. :) “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”- Lamentations 3:21-23