A letter from June 17th, 2019

Dear future me, I'm writting you on the edge of the ***, remember it? A classical music in violin is playing, called Freedom. Right now is the time of your life where you are experimenting with manifestation and law of attraction. You just send the universe the message you want free crystals, and fast. You're madly in love with Nick Kroll, and your hope right now is that you can manifest him as the perfect boyfriend. He seems to be the perfect boyfriend, might even be amenable to poly. If it can't be him, then hell... universe, give me someone that feels just as right! Well, I suppose that in five years you'll know already if it worked. I imagine you're in Canada now, quite used to the snow. I have no idea what you're going to be making your money of, but I hope is either acting or writing fiction. In 2019, I feel like all I'm meant to do is tell stories, yet I don't have stories to tell. Itsn't it sad? Maybe you figure it out what is the story by now, if there is one at all. I have faith that there is. I have faith that you are either in your way ir already living that fantastic life you used to dream of. That is dream of every night when I close my eyes. It ALL feels like the edge of a precipice right now. Anything could happen. I could fall hard but also… I could fly! In any case, if life is still this grunt and sweat of right now, at the very least I hope you remembered to be ok with it all. After all, we're living in a ininteligible time/space continuum and the single life experince of you right now is Very brief and Very tiny. Maybe there is more. Maybe there is some other side of this. I don't think you know that in the future either. As of me, the you from five years ago... lemme tell you a little bit of the tiny things, the ones I know you can't remember. My desk at work is almost the same on grandmas office, remember? She is still alive, and I'm afraid to go see her. Luna too. I lost Mathilda a month ago tho. I'm trying to remember o have good posture. Mom is adamant she doesn't want me to get a Mirena, so I'm adamant that I want one. This job is stretching me thin, but I'm menaging. In two days I'm gonna go to São Tomé das Letras for the first time. Life feels a little lonely, to be honest. But good. I'm wearing all black today, like a true witch. I want to move around, but there is nothing I can do but work. I'm doing that Chimneys Cake thing... you probably don't remember. It's okay, you don't need to. Tonight I might be able to participate on my first ever Gira on a Umbanda House. Who knows how that's gonna go! I feel sort of horny and sort of hungry. Well, enough of the snapshots. My best and most sincere wishes for you, Future Bia. That your days be filled with wonders and Joy.