"I'm so glad I met you."

Heya man. Here we are once again. Another letter recived. Another letter written. I really like her, man. I wish I didn't. I wish I didn't see as much potential as I did. I wish It was just...like the others. Why isn't it like the others? New years just means a new broken heart...or to be more accurate, a heart rebroken. sometimes it would...it would be nice, ok? It would be fucking nice to catch a break. To break past what i've been telling myself for so long, and just...Be someone who someone else gets jealous of. Is that selfish? Probably, and I hate myself for it. Lauren kissed me. She didn't mean to, I didn't know what she was doing and I turned my head but I just. I wanted that, man. I really wanted her. And this makes no sense to me...I can't have her, I haven't had her, but...I feel like...I don't know. I'm really happy I met her. But I almost feel like...Like I can't switch it off, like I did with Phaedra and Grace. And I don't get why. What kinda hold does she have on me...I just. I don't know. I really don't. man i'm in pain. new year, huh? 2015...existed. please 2016. give me something to work with.