A letter from August 31st, 2015

Dear FutureMe, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! So you're officially 17 when you get this... Crazy stuff. So to provide some context, I just read an email sent by freshman me to junior me. Kinda weird, kinda spot on. It's interesting reading stuff from the past knowing all about the present... If that makes any coherent sense. I just finished my AP Euro essay, so I'm not exactly the sharpest pair of scissors right now. So, in my previous email I wrote a list of some advice, most of which was actually not bad, and something I wish I had listened to a bit more. Oh well. 1. Read! So Netflix and Tumblr is great, but nothing replaces a good book. Not sure what to read? Just reread Harry Potter, can't go wrong there. 2. When you have time, hang out with Soph, Nico, and Andara. I'm assuming the four of you will remain great friends, but never forget how fun it is to have a nice little clique. 3. Please don't procrastinate! It'll make your life so much easier. 4. Be kind to your parents. They do a lot for you, so be patient with them and tell them about your day, listen to what they say about theirs. Try to be a good kid for them. 5. Going to concerts alone is NOT lame. You've done it before, you may do it again. That's ok! 6. Hydrate. This may sound stupid, but it's so incredibly important, especially for XC and all. 7. Listen to Taylor Swift. It's okay that you loved her when you were 9, and you still love her now. Her music kicks ass! 8. Be extroverted. Go to parties, hang out with people, it's fun. Having a busy schedule is a good thing, you don't need to have too much downtime. 9. Don't get desperate for a significant other. It's happened before, it didn't go as well as you thought it did. It's more than alright to be single. 10. Never forget the inside jokes between you and Soph. May Greg live on forever. . .. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........ ......... .......... ......... ........ ....... ..... ... .. . FOR LAURA ONLY AKA EXTREMELY PERSONAL 1) So. This is it. It's the summer of '15, and you've finally accepted that you're gay. A lesbian. Gal pal. Whatever you wanna call it. Looking back on this, I hope you can laugh. Say, hey, remember that time no one knew I was into girls? Weird! But alas, coming out doesn't seem like it's in the foreseeable future. I guess you know at this point there's no getting rid of these feelings. Those nightmares you had when you were 12 about being found out for having a crush on a girl? Well at least now you want people to know... If only they wouldn't judge you. So yeah! Just a fun reminder about what it's like to be a closet gay. 2) I guess we need to talk about Evan. Nice guy, a bit crude and disturbing at times, but has good intentions overall. Also the only guy you'll ever date. Why the fuck did you stay with him for 7 months?? You obviously knew you were gay eventually. I mean the nervousness and awkwardness and downright disgust were chalked up to first time jitters for a while, but you were fooling yourself. May he be a reminder that you're gay, 100 percent. Never going back to that sort of thing. 3) Emily. Okay, a shit ton of guilt accompanying this one. Amazing girl, so hot, so nice, such a bad influence. Can't help but wish things had worked out with her. Has a good heart. Never forget the night you two shared, the giggling about werewolves, the flirtatious hip-bumping, the heated make-out session at three in the morning... Okay let's keep this PG. But fun times aside, you cheated on Evan. And you have to make sure he never finds out. Sophie may or may not think you're a bitch for that-- her passive agressive rant may have been a mistake, not actually a stab at your mistakes. Fingers crossed. 4) Religion- so you are confirmed. Thank god that shit is over. And of course I still thank god and bless everyone and complain to Jesus Christ without it having much meaning still. The joys of being an atheist raised in a Christian household. Long live science and the universe. Down with the patriarchy. Fuck Saint Augustine and it's anti gay anti abortion crap. So to expand on the whole --Oh Shit I'm Gay-- thing that's going on right about now. You're confused. You're so used to calling guys hot even when you've nearly really thought so, but now that you're refusing to pretend to be something you're not, it's harder to go along with it all. And of course it sucks that one of your best friends is insanely pretty and funny and hot and calls you her platonic soulmate and ugh ugh ugh. And yeah that's Andara. The straightest of them all. And of course there's the whole attracting lesbians-- It really doesn't seem to be a problem as of now which is a plus. It's the whole falling in love with straight girls that you need to work on (damn you Cate). So keep looking until you find the Tara to your Willow, the Becca to your Chloe, the Carmilla to your Laura. It'll happen. And maybe one day you can tell your friends. Maybe Jenna won't freak out, maybe Andara won't laugh and beg that you're lying, maybe your parents won't question you, maybe Gina won't feel uncomfortable. Maybe. Either way, junior year is gonna rock, so good luck my little gay friend. You got this.