A letter from January 22nd, 2015

Dear FutureMe, Hi ill be 17 next month and Life is pretty shit right now, I'm in our sisters room writing this because u were a pussy and wouldn't stay in ur room because of a mouse lol, I'm staying in today because the teachers were on a strike so no school yay, but I haven't been in this week at all because of flu and social anxiety, i feel massive well not pain but something akin to it in my chest,its like emotional baggage , I can't handle going In because they could judge me unjustly for something stupid in school , however silly this may seem its something I cannot handle, I hope by the time u read this life is better and u no longer suffer from social anxiety and u have a nice girlfriend, right now ur crying(I've counted and this is my first time crying in 4 months which is unhealthy but i try not to cry because of the stupid stigmas pushed on men to be big strong and carry all the burdens on ur shoulders,Im hating dad a lot right now cos I could use him here right now to help me out but he left for fucking alcohol the stupid prick) while writing this and don't want to live, so I hope u actually get the chance to read this, I really hope ur happy cos I'm miserable :(,there's a lot more I could say on how unhappy I am but I don't want to taint ur potential happiness with my shite,hope this doesn't ruin ur birthday cos that's when I'm sending it to you,sorry for troubling u Love, Yourself