A Christmas Letter for my Type 3 self (from Aug. 16th)

Dear Layton, Merry Christmas! Thinking ahead, it seemed to me that you might be in need of a little cheer this Christmas, so I thought I'd send a letter your way. I hope you're drinking mimosas. And I hope by now you have good friends (at least one) or perhaps someone who is even more than that to share this day with. But even if you don't - I hope it's a good day. Remember what this holiday is really about - God desiring so strongly that none of us be alone that God became a tiny, vulnerable human to meet us where we are. So whatever else you may be feeling today - I hope you know that you're not alone, not really. Things are still a bit lonely around here these days, but I keep reminding myself I've only been here 6 weeks. 6 weeks! That's nothing and these things take time. And it's getting better. I love the people I work with and I've got people to play trivia with. It's a start. In any case, I know you. Boy do I know you. And you know me. And between us we both know how obsessed we can be with success and achievement and goal setting. I know that even though right now I'm craving friendship and romance and community--the intangibles--when I wake up in the morning I can't help but shove all of that to the side in the name of work and career goals and success. I suspect that 4 months won't change me so much--so that's probably true for you too. I figure--if you can't choose those intangibles for yourself, I can choose them for you. Layton, those things--good friends, love--they're at least as important as doing good work. And you want them. Trust me. I know it seems impossible to you now, but I'm telling you that if you had to choose good friends and love over the kind of success you dream of - you would be okay. In fact, I believe you would be happy. And happy is good. So make time for those things and make room in your heart and make room in your type 3, overachieving spirit for them. But while we're on the topic--please don't turn them into just another set of goals. The intangibles--the people in your life--aren't a to-do list. You just have to open up and trust and let them happen in their own time. Have faith and hold on. (The same goes with writing, by the way. God, I hope you're still writing--writing more than I am. But more important than that, I hope you still love it. If you don't, then stop and let it go. We'll be okay.) So here's the other thing--related to all of this. You're doing just fine. However you are doing--you are doing fine. I am proud of you. I'm proud that you're my future. So is five year old you and 21 year old you. 16 year old you thinks you're the coolest person on the planet. I know that you never feel that you're doing well enough or working hard enough, but you always are. So if you're still working too hard and telling yourself it's not enough--take a break and breathe. It is enough. You are enough. Remember that thing DP said a long time ago: the dude whose birth you're celebrating, the one who died later--he died for the whole world. Every single person. In the irrepressible hope of returning us to God. But he would also have done it just for you. Just for you. And even if you never achieved anything of note--Even if only the worst parts of you were true--that would still be the case. Can you try to love yourself that much? Your life is a gift. And it's all yours. An incredible, challenging, surprising gift that is always being unwrapped. And you are a gift. That's your Christmas present. And mine too. You. I love you. Merry Christmas. (now go post this on Facebook or the blog because we both know you want to.)