names!

hey 'lona of '09! WOW you are 18 and you have waited for this day for SOSOSO long. remember you were counting? right now we're 648 days away. wow, it's hard to think because there are so many things I want to ask you. I wish I could know right now. remember that today you told Amnon the psychologist that you cut yourself? yay. you felt pretty stupid about that. hashpalauuu. You were at Tula's with gil and things are still a bit awkward because of everything that happened, that's something i know you won't forget. remember how you are right now still wondering if you made the right choice? you could've been beautiful together. your absolute closest friends here in israel are gil, inbar, noa and tula. you smoke like, 8-9 cigs a day. two of your cousins are getting married soon, i hope there weddings weren't too boring. lee'ad left today for vietnam, i hope he got back alright and that everything is cool. i hope things are cool with your mom because you deserve good parents, you are an amazing person even though you may sometimes not see it. amnon thinks you cut yourself because you hate yourself, but he has no idea what he's talking about. sure, everyone has certain problems with themselves, but you can definitely appreciate the kind of person you are. i know you think about it a lot, but please don't commit suicide. you have a lot of great things waiting for you. did you do the funky avodat gemer on children with mental disabilities? if you did i'm sure it turned out great. are you still into psychiatry? i hope you are. are you going to lehitgayes? i know we used to really not want to but i want you to remember that right now you're not really sure any more. it could be an awesome experience, or a two-year setback. GO SHOWER YOU SMELL. haha joking, it's 3am, you can't shower now because it would wake up mom and you have to get up for work tomorrow at 9am. are you still bisexual? this question sounds stupid (ahusharmuta) but it's true. cos you're still not 100% sure about yourself, but i think you're getting more sure every day. i see the way you look at girls. are you still a little bit into gadi? that situation was wierd. how did physics go? i hope you passed everything with flying colors. how did tzofim go? how was it being a counselor with yarden cahana? remember you guys are friends, even though you're pretty sure she's a lot shallower than you like, but she's fun to hang out with. did you get hadrachat tet this past year? i hope you did and that you're right now on your way to the mahane kaitz, which if you are madrihat tet will be the bomb. although it won't be so bad if you are merakezet either! wow, remember how hard it was moving? i hope israel feels totally like home to you by now because right now we are both still feeling like we've got one foot in the door and one foot still out. how is everything with ori? what is he doing in life? is he still with simona? ooo, does lee'ad have kids? you better hope he does, otherwise you'll have to be an aunt from far away and that's no fun. or will you? are you going to move to england or canada or somewhere else or are you so into israel by now that you're just gonna stay here? you have a lot of big decisions to make. but you have time and remember that there is a whole sea of people who've got your back. i hope you have a great time on your birthday and you do lots of cool things because they're finally legal and available to you. hey, do you have a friggin teudat zehut yet!? you better get one out. OH, do you still play piano and guitar? i really hope you never gave up on piano. and i hope you still have that sickass blue guitar lee'ad got you for your birthday, you're getting pretty good. you can play trouble by coldplay, blackbird by the beatles, good riddance by green day, hotel california by the eagles, all my loving by the beatles, and sweet dreams by marylin manson. are you still in touch with sinead and skye? they're very important people and you can't ever forget them, remember that. they will always be there for you no matter how far you are. i have intimate questions, too! do you have a boy/girlfriend? are you still a virgin? how far have you gotten!? haha. i think you will still be a virgin but it's good either way ;) even though you might not think so by now. and about your name, are you going to change it if you move to england/canada/US/wherever? i know you've been thinking about Anna for a long time. remember that at least in english, Leah sounds awesome. so do Lena and Leila and Alexander, with all sound somewhat similar to your name. okay, not similar, but thay have the L or the N or they start with an A, which is important. i hope you remember all the great moments in life right now. remember that meditation cloud video you watched the other day? you should watch it more often to calm down. and exercise more! remember the amazing video your friends made you before you left for canada this summer, because they were afraid you wouldn't want to come back? remember walking home barefoot from gil and tula's? and your feet were black and you were afraid of stepping on glass or dog poo but you loved the feel of it, because you suddenly felt so connected to the ground. remember that your hair will look beautiful no matter how ugly you think it is. remember singing children's TV show themes with gil and tula? remember calling noa faschistit? (she started it!) remember inbar and amram, and us just wanting her to break up with him?! i hope you remember taking long walks with buffy. i hope you remember how you like sleeping next to mom sometimes, and even you can't explain why. that no matter how hard it is to get up in the mornings, seeing all your friends at school is worth it all. that money earned is the best money spent. that no matter how long the school day seems, there is always a weekend or holiday coming up. that you love your family, dysfunctional as it is. i hope you remember the feeling of loneliness you feel a lot of the time, like no one understands you, and that you're pretty well over that. i hope you remember to clean your eyebrow piercing and how much we want a labret on the side. i hope you remember how nice the most surprising people are, like or, the kid who's a year older than you who is gay and has pink in his hair and lots of piercings. i hope you know already what it's like to be in love. i don't know what else to say. it seems like there's so much but i just can't think of everything right now. stay cool, stay in school, and don't die on me. love you always, more than anyone else, bonerpants.