don't ignore! it's important! it's you in 2007

Dear FutureMe, life has been pretty tough for you lately. your aunt terese just died. and your mom isn't around. so you not having even a little mom figure your life is hard. your dad is your best friend though and that's a good thing. keep that up, and keep your relationship with him strong. i hope you know you do because at this point in my life i don't know what you would do without him. is music still a very big component in your life? you used to be in love iwth it basically,... built to spill? brand new? the shins? brand new was your favorite band ever when you were 16. and you never thought that would ever change. have you opened your music venue up? that was your dream for a while but you gave up on that thought because you never thought you could accomplish it. i hope you do, so maybe brand new could play there. that was your ultimate dream. back to your aunt though. you know when your aunt terese committted suicide you were an absolute wreck. and you cried a lot, boy did you cry a lot. you didn't think you woudl ever make it through. did you make it through? did you cope with life even though it sucked so much? when you were younger you thought of suicide a lot. even when you were 16! you did! i know it's weird to think about because just imagine how different your friend's and families' lives would be. what do you do now? what did you do in college? what college did you go to? did you drop out? how was high school? when you were a junior in high school you wrote this. and that must seem like such a long time ago. you are actually iny our film class right now! not doing what you are supposed to be doing... i hope that changed i hope you are happy with yourself. at this point in our lives right now(16) you have never been happy. not once, and you don't knoww hat to do about it. i hope youare happy. i really reallyhope. because i know right now as much as i think about being happy if you aren't happy you won't make it. and you'll give up. give up ony our whole life. just imagine if you did kill yourself, imagine how stressed out your dadw ould be and how much of a wreck he would be. he told me once that he would probably kill himself if we ever died. that's such a scary thought. that's probably the only reason why i haven't already. life sucks, really, it does. but you can't give up and you have to try to make it happy. i hope you are doing something with your life. i'm just soproud of us that at age 16 we don't act like it because of all the shit we have been thruogh. shit hard, but you can't let things like your mom being in jail, your aunt commiting suicide, living withyour grandparents, no self esteem and everything you do somehow is wrong in someone elses eyes. it's a scarty thought but you have to control your happiness. this does not make any sense to me right now as i'm typing this. but i hope it makes sense to you when you get it when you are 26. i hope you find someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with. that's what you always wnated when you were this age. you wantd to find a boyfriend that you could love forever and feel comfrotable with and for them to make you happy. you are going to meet a lot of bad boys in your life annd boys that are going to make you hate life, but really. please. don't let them. they are boys, and you are you. don't llet them hate yourself. be careful with experimenting with drugs. i know you are having fun and you are being very cautious but really, be careful. you don't want to end up like your brother and fucked up for the rest ofhis life because he started taking e when he was 14. love your family, love tommy and michael, and your grandma gail. hw is grandma gail? i bet youshe doesn't make it very long because of uncle david. uncle david is such a imbosoul. i hope he grows up and stops depending on grandma gail for everything. how is grandma dororthy? i'm guessing by the time we read this she will have passsed... that must have been hard, but once again. it's life and you cant let it stop you from your dreams. i hope you gget a good career and are making lots of money. i hope you support your dad with everything because he did the same as when you were ytounger. i hope you're making him as happy as he did you. i hope so much for us and our dad. we love our dad. i love you dad. i hpoe you learned to take better care if your money and such. i know it's so hrad because you watn to spend os much. but you have to realize what is more important ..... being super happy now or being ssuper supper dupppper happy in the future. withyour family. yes i think tath's it i think that's it for everything. don't committ suicide please. love, alyx