Blast from the Past

Dear Dave, I'm on this email thing that delays the sending email..we had this convo today, and i wanted to send it to the future dave. me right now, the past melissa, is missing you very much. i don't want to be where i am now. i really wish things could have worked out and could possibly be as nice as this dream. isn't amazing how people change? it can be quite unsettling. i'm sure you have a special sweetheart now. i hope you've found your happiness. and i hope i've gotten my share. i wonder who i'll take to prom when i am a senior, now. that one time when i told you that no matter how long our relationship lasted that i would never love anyone is true. i really hope you don't forget me, or how much you used to love me. i don't want to bring you down with this right after we've broken up, but i do want you to know this all. i don't know if we're talking now, but if we're not, read this and i'm sure i'd love to hear from you. your love of long ago, melissa Sperovix: a few years from now Sperovix: you'll be stationed in okinawa Sperovix: and we'll talk like we are now, morso like penpals than the brotherly love you wanted because of the time it will have been from the memories that tied us to make such a commitment Sperovix: so communication will be up, but not consistant Sperovix: though there are some regrets for that on both sides Sperovix: but like the realists we are, we tell ourselves we're fine anyway Sperovix: and continue living Sperovix: one day i'll ask you to visit me Sperovix: and nothing will happen Sperovix: you'll have work to do Sperovix: you'll have a relationship Sperovix: you'll be half interested Sperovix: but half curious Sperovix: to what has become of that girl from NJ Sperovix: so, Sperovix: i'll mention it once Sperovix: and then wait for you to bring it up again Sperovix: and you don't Sperovix: and i get nervous Sperovix: because i wanted you to want to too Sperovix: but you don't mean anything by not bringing it up Sperovix: i'm just over worring myself Sperovix: so i bring it up again anyway Sperovix: and we pretend to plan it Sperovix: and another week or so goes by Sperovix: until we talk about it again Sperovix: and i start telling you how i miss you Sperovix: it's been so long since we've really talked Sperovix: it'll be nice to not have a day between us Sperovix: and i'll use my persuasion skills to wheedle you Sperovix: to morally convince you Sperovix: that if you visit me, the girl back in okinawa will still love you Sperovix: and you her Sperovix: so, a month later Sperovix: you arrive in the Newark airport Sperovix: and i am there waiting to pick you up Sperovix: and the instant i see you Sperovix: i am so full of emotion Sperovix: i am ecstatic, i am dissappointed, i am amorous, i am angry, i am in shock, i'm depressed, and i've never been happier to see you Sperovix: i don't know what to say Sperovix: i don't know where my boundaries are Sperovix: because obviously my emotions dont have any Sperovix: and so naturally Sperovix: i say nothing Sperovix: just hug you Sperovix: and i dont's want to pull away Sperovix: or say anything Sperovix: because i don't want you to see my face Sperovix: because it's red Sperovix: and splotchy Sperovix: and wet Sperovix: and i get nervous again Sperovix: because that elephant is there Sperovix: i'm conscious that what i'm doing is not moral Wrathof Paganini: elephant? Sperovix: you never heard of that before? Sperovix: elephant in the room? Sperovix: it's when you're trying to ignore something so blatantly obvious Wrathof Paganini: no Sperovix: so Sperovix: anyway Sperovix: and so you'll lift my head up anyway Sperovix: and ask me why im so upset Sperovix: and i'll just over generalize Sperovix: and lie Sperovix: and just say i missed you Sperovix: and so we'll stop in one of those restaurants in the airport Sperovix: and grab lunch Sperovix: and i'll be watching you eat Sperovix: while you try to small talk me back to normal Sperovix: but i Sperovix: being the emotional dynamite that i am Sperovix: i will look at you Sperovix: and realize all the things im feeling are all the things i shouldn't tell you Sperovix: and then i'll get upset Sperovix: and embarassed Sperovix: because i'm ruining the trip Sperovix: and making you uncomfortable Sperovix: in public Sperovix: and everyone in the restaurant looks at you like you did something to me Sperovix: after i get up and apologize to you Sperovix: and go to wash my face Sperovix: later on that evening Sperovix: we'll be better Sperovix: but there are still things we havent said Sperovix: you left a bag in my car Sperovix: and so i bring it to your hotel room Sperovix: and i see this outing Sperovix: as the perfect opportunity Sperovix: to tell you Sperovix: everything Sperovix: and so i do Sperovix: and i hug you again Sperovix: and i start kissing you Sperovix: and you keep thinking of all the good times you've had with your girlfriend Sperovix: and how awful this is going to feel later Sperovix: and then you remember who i was Sperovix: and my kisses warm you up Sperovix: and you know who i am Sperovix: i tell you everything as i kiss you Sperovix: and i tell you i know that you're in love with someone else Sperovix: but i need this Sperovix: stop me if you can Sperovix: and i apologize Sperovix: but it doesn't mean anything Sperovix: because i keep going Sperovix: and we have sex Sperovix: it's awkward and beautiful Sperovix: she's so far away right now Sperovix: and i'm the present Sperovix: and no longer a distant memory Sperovix: and all the present moral dillema is released with our lovemaking Sperovix: we have a few more tender moments Sperovix: and we live like lovers for the next 3 days Sperovix: but you have to return Sperovix: and it's not like you can come back Sperovix: oh my whim Sperovix: so we're confused Sperovix: what did we do Sperovix: and what does it mean for us Sperovix: and so time goes on Sperovix: i'm emotional because i want to rekindle Sperovix: and you do too, but are the voice of reason Sperovix: and so Sperovix: you have sex with your girlfriend a few more times Sperovix: and i try the same with whoever i'm dating Sperovix: and each time it's worse Sperovix: because you feel guilt Sperovix: and know where you should really be Sperovix: and what you need to do Sperovix: you tell her what you did Sperovix: she's terribly upset Sperovix: gets over it Sperovix: and wants to give you another chance Sperovix: you tell her that you cant Sperovix: and i give up myself Sperovix: i go to okinawa Sperovix: we meet up Sperovix: you show me japan Sperovix: tokyo Sperovix: kyoto Sperovix: and we have a nice ride Sperovix: and we rent a hotel room Sperovix: and i'm amazed by your japanese Sperovix: we have sex again Sperovix: and we wonder Sperovix: are we just repeating ourselves? Sperovix: but we know Sperovix: we've had years to forget eachother Sperovix: but they didn't work Sperovix: if we really didn't want eachother, we wouldn't have talked like we did Sperovix: even though it was sparse Sperovix: and fragmented Sperovix: i tell you Sperovix: all i want is you Sperovix: and you tell me the same Sperovix: months later Sperovix: we figure it out Sperovix: and we Sperovix: stay together Sperovix: and eventually Sperovix: we do get married Sperovix: the end Sperovix: that is it Wrathof Paganini: that would be nice Wrathof Paganini: maybe someday it will happen Wrathof Paganini: but you forgot about the part about comming back to IL with me while I go to college Wrathof Paganini: lol Sperovix: well i had to cut that out Sperovix: because i have to go