i want to be a good man, a do like i should man

Dear FutureMe, you have spent most of your life getting most of it wrong..there are very few things that have gone completely right in your life.. you have not been brave. you have not been smart. you have been foolish and immature you have worked the past year to correct all of your mistakes and for the most part you have turned your life around.. it's very close to the final classes of your college career and you are very excited for that aspect of your life right now.. but everything else has fallen apart in the first few months of 2010. your boyfriend left you. you see your son everyday but that doesn't seem to be enough. your friends are falling through your fingertips. church is on the lower end of priorities, while drinking crawls higher every weekend. your often times very selfish. you are a dissapointment to him already..just for leaving. I hope you don't give life to that sickening thought that you will wake up one day and be nothing... you have always been the type of person that would leave in the blackest hours of the night.. a person who would dissapear from their entire life because you were scared.... i honestly think you will.. sad. please tell me you haven't done that. your relationship with his father is terrible...but i hope that it has been somewhat civil. he promised he wouldn't take you to court... did he keep that promise? you have a funny way of failing at the very very very last minute...i pray everyday that you will make it.. your so close.. i hope you have everything you deserve. they don't tell you that enough.. i hope you have found positive friends i hope you haven't given up your dream to fullfill the expected goal to be only a mother. that is not for everyone... sad, terribly sad, but true. "i want to be a good man, a do like i should man i need to be the kind of man the mirror likes to see i want to be a strong man, an admit that i was wrong man god i'm asking you to come change me" you need to be proud of who you are. please call mom today.. she loves you no matter what.. she has never left you and she has always stood behind you.. regardless of your periodical stupidity. dad loves you to.. i hope your relationship with them is still great. they are all you have. love life. be brave.