8 Years to You

Let My Heart Remain – Indie (acc on SoundCloud) I'm listening this song rn.. & it's so soothing.. but besides that, hello from the past~ I'm basically a kid to you. I did just send a sad-ish letter earlier but this one will be more on you.. I always wondered.. can I really survive taking care of myself? You're adulting now.. it seems so far and close, & my everlasting anxiety problems believe it will be a disaster. The career I decided I'll try to go towards is speech therapy. Me? A therapist? I feel like I'll have to deal with people who doubt I'll be able do such a job.. I'm aware my communication skills are horrible, but after hearing my teacher say she was once extremely shy and shocked people when she said she was a teacher, it encourages me that I might be able to work through it. Becoming a counselor/therapist already felt like a stretched goal way out of reach so I ended up dropping that idea.. How much has things changed in 8 years? I thought about how hs passed so fast & it's a 4 year journey.. that's half of how much can happen for you. What's the first job I ever got? When was the first time I got drunk? Which new life long friends have I met? Am I still in contact with Sarai, Hun, Genie, Mimi, Mel, insomnia gc, etc? My closest friend is Hunny, & I hope you've had the chance to embrace this fluffy cinnamon roll... maybe your feelings have changed these past 8 years but losing someone as smart, funny and adorable as Hunny sounds like a life I wouldn't want to be a part of. Hit this child up, & find out what's been going on.. all these fantasized meetups we had... I hope we really can have some time together. Do you remember my wild idea of flying out to NJ to stay there during a break or something? Staying in Hun's room wouldnt be too much of a problem.. the platonic love we have would allow us to be comfortable enough to let us sleep closely together.. is that not right? That kind of day seems to only be in my dreams and all I can do is yearn for it to come soon.. I'm not under the family's control forever.. but I guess I'll have to keep my eyes open for an opportunity & excuse for going way up there.. plane tickets are ridiculously expensive though.. & doing it on my own..seems to scary.. There I went.. on rambling.. so what worries you? What's on your mind? What've you done for your birthday today? Did you forget it? I wonder.. how many people in your life remembered? I know for me, it gets overlooked if my acc's never notify the other prople I think it's bed time.. I never thought about this till now but.. are you in a new place? A new school? I've said to the counselor, in a perfect world, what I wish I could do is travel to other countries doing volunteer/charity work.. anywhere, for anything,,, How's that feeling? If you even remember saying that hehe. 1 yr away from that 27, that strange age I felt starts a good spot of parenthood haha, not for you tho. [ 2018 April 2, 2.50 AM ] Happy Birthday~ goodnighty